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(Gawker)   The police blotter for America's third most expensive zip code is a thing of first world beauty   (gawker.com) divider line 48
    More: Obvious, beauty  
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28992 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2013 at 3:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-16 03:10:41 PM
5 votes:
I deal directly with people from the Westside of LA just about every day at work and this doesn't surprise in the least. Anytime anyone tells you that people with the most money are the most talented or the smartest you should laugh in their face.

Ever wonder what rich housewives do when they're bored and can't shop? They create problems. See also: HOA's
2013-02-16 03:33:17 PM
3 votes:

JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.  They are better liars than the criminals sometimes.  There are good ones as well, just saying this is how it is done around here.

I grew up in an area that was an all white community and realtors wouldn't imagine of selling a house to someone other than whitey, they would be cutting their own throats because of their selling fee, however one family was allowed to buy a house because he was related to someone famous.  That was my one "colored" neighbor growing up.  Things have changed a lot in 20 years.  Some good, some bad.  It's a shame when NYC and Jersey a**holes decide to move in this area because it's cheaper than their "home", as many use this area for a drug distribution hub for several areas.


Nice try, but I was a private security dispatcher in Bel-Air, so we were catching most of the calls (we had a better response time) and I can guarantee none of them were for criminal offenses. Over 95% were for calls just like this. Like the people who were so paranoid of burglars they had motion sensor lights all around the house in a remote mountain area--but were pissed when the deer and raccoons set them off all night long. We took lots of calls for wild animals in the backyards; my fave was the lady who wanted me to send an officer to shoot the skunk under her porch.

Then there was the call of "someone screaming". I sent an officer: he heard nothing. Another call "They're still screaming!" The officer went back, this time went all around the house. It was a TV, on the Cartoon Network. The volume was a little loud, and the resident had fallen asleep.

There's just not a lot of crime in these areas--but there ARE a lot of paranoid people.
2013-02-16 03:29:14 PM
3 votes:

Shaggy_C: These residents pay the high taxes that cover the police department's labor costs.  They can use the police for whatever reason (no matter how seemingly frivolous) they want.


No that's not actually how it works
2013-02-16 03:14:04 PM
3 votes:
I know that community. I knew a lady who lived in one of the few modest tract houses there. Atherton has resisted joining other cities or becoming part of the unincorporated county area because they're running their town just fine on their own. Given the value of those houses and the amount of tax they are paying, they used to give the cops Volvos (I kid you not) and pay them well. Just about nothing happens there, so it's a great job if you can get it.

In other words, the cops really had nothing else to do and rich people can be just as stupid about 911 as everyone else.
2013-02-16 02:22:35 PM
3 votes:
I got pulled over once after driving on the same road twice in the span of a few minutes. I'd gone to the hardware store to pick up some things, and on my way home I realized I forgot something. So, back to the store.

When I was heading home again, the cop pulled me over and asked what I was doing. After explaining my story, he told me that he'd better not see me on that road again. I laughed at him, he said he was serious, and I laughed at him even harder.

I think he began to understand the stupidity of his order when I asked for his phone number should I need anything from any of the shops on that very busy, and very public, street as he'd be the one picking them up for me.

Poor bastard really wanted to write me a ticket for something.
2013-02-16 12:36:48 PM
3 votes:
How do such incredibly stupid people accumulate so much money?

/of course, being a cop there is probably a pretty cush gig
2013-02-16 04:07:16 PM
2 votes:
From Kensington, a wealthy community across the bay:

http://www.kensingtonoutlook.com/issues/outlook_julaug_06.pdf

An African American man was seen sitting in a car parked on Purdue Ave. A suspicious resident, who was greeted by the occupant, noted the car's license plate and called the police. When police arrived the man and car were gone. later an astute officer realized that the license plate was that of the Kensington police's own unmarked car; the driver had been Acting Police Chief Hull, doing a routine neighborhood watch.
2013-02-16 03:51:27 PM
2 votes:
MaudlinMutantMollusk: How do such incredibly stupid people accumulate so much money?

They marry into it.
2013-02-16 03:30:50 PM
2 votes:

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


After decades of failed trickle down economics, it's time for the rich to pay their fair share.

It's hardly grinding them up for meatloaf.
2013-02-16 03:21:54 PM
2 votes:

JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable. It's all smoke and mirrors. Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.


And let's not forget sheer laziness.  Last time i had an attempted break-in, I called the cops and the guy on the line made it sound like the fact that he would have to fill out paperwork and send a form in the mail would just be so difficult that it wasn't even worth the effort and if I wanted an officer to come out I would need to sit there and spend an entire day off work to wait for them.  I wonder how many thousands of property crimes of that sort are never reported for that very reason?
2013-02-16 03:17:44 PM
2 votes:
The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.  They are better liars than the criminals sometimes.  There are good ones as well, just saying this is how it is done around here.

I grew up in an area that was an all white community and realtors wouldn't imagine of selling a house to someone other than whitey, they would be cutting their own throats because of their selling fee, however one family was allowed to buy a house because he was related to someone famous.  That was my one "colored" neighbor growing up.  Things have changed a lot in 20 years.  Some good, some bad.  It's a shame when NYC and Jersey a**holes decide to move in this area because it's cheaper than their "home", as many use this area for a drug distribution hub for several areas.
2013-02-16 03:08:40 PM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

ERMAGERD ... DERMERSTIK TRRRRESTS
2013-02-16 01:43:12 PM
2 votes:
I bet every one of those calls originated from the same person.  Many of us had a crazy old bat like that in the neighborhoods we grew up in...
2013-02-16 05:05:57 PM
1 votes:

Zombalupagus: When I was visiting Key West I looked at the crime section of the local paper. The one that made the headline on the page was "Man Writes Roommate Bad Check".


I love reading the local crime blotter and newspaper when I visit relatives in rural New England. As someone who has lived in Chicago most of her life, the difference almost makes it feel like I live in another country. What? a car break-in made the paper? My car was broken into twice in one month just recently. Funny, I didn't see that reported in the Sun-Times. I find it both amusing and very sad.
2013-02-16 05:02:35 PM
1 votes:
qph.is.quoracdn.net
2013-02-16 04:59:50 PM
1 votes:

JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.  They are better liars than the criminals sometimes.  There are good ones as well, just saying this is how it is done around here.

I grew up in an area that was an all white community and realtors wouldn't imagine of selling a house to someone other than whitey, they would be cutting their own throats because of their selling fee, however one family was allowed to buy a house because he was related to someone famous.  That was my one "colored" neighbor growing up.  Things have changed a lot in 20 years.  Some good, some bad.  It's a shame when NYC and Jersey a**holes decide to move in this area because it's cheaper than their "home", as many use this area for a drug distribution hub for several areas.


==============

It can go the other way as well.  The cops playing up crime stats to justify their demands for more pay/benefits.   Because the cops routinely falsify crime stats, the Census Bureau regularly conducts crime surveys where they send people out to individual addresses bypassing the local police entirely.
2013-02-16 04:53:11 PM
1 votes:

meyerkev: SuperNinjaToad: Not sure if all the crime reports of the different townships are placed next to each other but it seems like the areas surrounding Atherton are pretty POS dangerous places. We're talking going from picking fruit tress, paranoid of UPS guy to rape, murder and carjaking 3 blocks over. WTF?

Well, East Palo Alto spent a large time as the murder capital of the world, and that's right next door.

(Heading North to South):
Redwood City is fairly middle-class (which means that their house costs more than my parents in the Midwest will earn in their lifetimes.  SF is crazy).
Atherton is super-super rich.
Menlo Park is slightly cheaper Palo Alto.
Palo Alto is super rich because there's negative amounts of mass transit, a bunch of college students (including med students who figure that an extra few thousand of debt really doesn't matter) who need to be near campus, and all the startups, so you have the entrepreneurs and the college students competing for the same real estate.
Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Cupertino, and Santa Clara are basically Redwood City, getting a tad cheaper as you go further South (Well East at this point).
I've heard that parts of San Jose are slummy, but couldn't verify.

And then the entire East Bay (so, Fremont and Hayward) is where "poor" people live, because rents are cheaper.  With disgusting traffic (The bridges, 880 and 680 are just parking lots that make 101 look nice), and $100/month bridge tolls.  It's just not worth it, IMO.

So the fact that Atherton has super-super-rich people problems, and that the poorer areas have normal people problems does not surprise me.

/Seriously, rents go down 30% going 5 miles from University Street to Mountain View, and if Atherton had rents, they'd be even higher.
//Mountain View.


Funny.  You've just divided the entire bay area into two categories:
1) Stanford and Places Adjacent to Stanford (and SF)
2) Other Places that I've heard are gross and for losers
2013-02-16 04:47:58 PM
1 votes:

meyerkev: SuperNinjaToad: Not sure if all the crime reports of the different townships are placed next to each other but it seems like the areas surrounding Atherton are pretty POS dangerous places. We're talking going from picking fruit tress, paranoid of UPS guy to rape, murder and carjaking 3 blocks over. WTF?

Well, East Palo Alto spent a large time as the murder capital of the world, and that's right next door.

(Heading North to South):
Redwood City is fairly middle-class (which means that their house costs more than my parents in the Midwest will earn in their lifetimes.  SF is crazy).
Atherton is super-super rich.
Menlo Park is slightly cheaper Palo Alto.
Palo Alto is super rich because there's negative amounts of mass transit, a bunch of college students (including med students who figure that an extra few thousand of debt really doesn't matter) who need to be near campus, and all the startups, so you have the entrepreneurs and the college students competing for the same real estate.
Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Cupertino, and Santa Clara are basically Redwood City, getting a tad cheaper as you go further South (Well East at this point).
I've heard that parts of San Jose are slummy, but couldn't verify.

And then the entire East Bay (so, Fremont and Hayward) is where "poor" people live, because rents are cheaper.  With disgusting traffic (The bridges, 880 and 680 are just parking lots that make 101 look nice), and $100/month bridge tolls.  It's just not worth it, IMO.

So the fact that Atherton has super-super-rich people problems, and that the poorer areas have normal people problems does not surprise me.

/Seriously, rents go down 30% going 5 miles from University Street to Mountain View, and if Atherton had rents, they'd be even higher.
//Mountain View.


San Jose does vary drastically from one neighborhood to the next, although I don't claim to be an expert on the city.  And there's at least some hope that the BART extension will make 880 and 237 into less of a parking lot (I think the Milpitas and Berryessa stations are supposed to open in 2018), although I expect things to get much worse between when the new 49er's stadium opens (probably later this year) and then.

/Santa Clara
2013-02-16 04:41:47 PM
1 votes:
www.lolbrary.com
2013-02-16 04:27:19 PM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.  They are better liars than the criminals sometimes.  There are good ones as well, just saying this is how it is done around here.

I grew up in an area that was an all white community and realtors wouldn't imagine of selling a house to someone other than whitey, they would be cutting their own throats because of their selling fee, however one family was allowed to buy a house because he was related to someone famous.  That was my one "colored" neighbor growing up.  Things have changed a lot in 20 years.  Some good, some bad.  It's a shame when NYC and Jersey a**holes decide to move in this area because it's cheaper than their "home", as many use this area for a drug distribution hub for several areas.

Nice try, but I was a private security dispatcher in Bel-Air, so we were catching most of the calls (we had a better response time) and I can guarantee none of them were for criminal offenses. Over 95% were for calls just like this. Like the people who were so paranoid of burglars they had motion sensor lights all around the house in a remote mountain area--but were pissed when the deer and raccoons set them off all night long. We took lots of calls for wild animals in the backyards; my fave was the lady who wanted me to send an officer to shoot the skunk under her porch.

Then there was the call of "someone screaming". I sent an officer: he heard nothing. Another call "They're still screaming!" The officer went back, this time went all around the house. It was a TV, on the Cartoon Network. The volume was a little loud, and the resident had fallen asleep.

There's just not a lot of crime in these areas--but there ARE a lot of paranoid people.


I don't understand the "Nice Try" comment, but I was just explaining of how it works around here..  I speak the truth, and I guess or will assume you are doing the same. There can be 2 truths to a statement made.  I did not say that this is what they were doing, just that it happens.

"Lighten up Francis"  There was no "nice try", only difference in area.  Do you know what the police swept under the rug?  Probably not, but I guarantee there is more than just dust under the rug.  More money will buy you more ability in our society.  Sorry if I didn't explain your locale perfectly, but that is difficult to do when you have never lived there for 20 years.  I bet if I did, I would tell you more junk than most police know.  Hell, I know of cops snorting coke of their badge.  They are now running a towns. There is not much difference wherever you go, just how they categorize crime and how much cash you have to get off.
2013-02-16 04:15:19 PM
1 votes:

offmymeds: How is it that these idiots aren't in jail for wasting the cops time?


They're rich and white, or perhaps Indian.
2013-02-16 04:08:58 PM
1 votes:
How is it that these idiots aren't in jail for wasting the cops time?
2013-02-16 03:57:52 PM
1 votes:
Gawker. Because when you have a website, you have to publish SOMETHING. Even when there's nothing to publish.
2013-02-16 03:57:48 PM
1 votes:

SuperNinjaToad: Not sure if all the crime reports of the different townships are placed next to each other but it seems like the areas surrounding Atherton are pretty POS dangerous places. We're talking going from picking fruit tress, paranoid of UPS guy to rape, murder and carjaking 3 blocks over. WTF?


Well, East Palo Alto spent a large time as the murder capital of the world, and that's right next door.

(Heading North to South):
Redwood City is fairly middle-class (which means that their house costs more than my parents in the Midwest will earn in their lifetimes.  SF is crazy).
Atherton is super-super rich.
Menlo Park is slightly cheaper Palo Alto.
Palo Alto is super rich because there's negative amounts of mass transit, a bunch of college students (including med students who figure that an extra few thousand of debt really doesn't matter) who need to be near campus, and all the startups, so you have the entrepreneurs and the college students competing for the same real estate.
Mountain View, Sunnyvale, Cupertino, and Santa Clara are basically Redwood City, getting a tad cheaper as you go further South (Well East at this point).
I've heard that parts of San Jose are slummy, but couldn't verify.

And then the entire East Bay (so, Fremont and Hayward) is where "poor" people live, because rents are cheaper.  With disgusting traffic (The bridges, 880 and 680 are just parking lots that make 101 look nice), and $100/month bridge tolls.  It's just not worth it, IMO.

So the fact that Atherton has super-super-rich people problems, and that the poorer areas have normal people problems does not surprise me.

/Seriously, rents go down 30% going 5 miles from University Street to Mountain View, and if Atherton had rents, they'd be even higher.
//Mountain View.
2013-02-16 03:46:35 PM
1 votes:
I wonder what would happen if I hired LL Cool J to walk that neighborhood at night?
2013-02-16 03:41:22 PM
1 votes:

Shaggy_C: JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable. It's all smoke and mirrors. Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.

And let's not forget sheer laziness.  Last time i had an attempted break-in, I called the cops and the guy on the line made it sound like the fact that he would have to fill out paperwork and send a form in the mail would just be so difficult that it wasn't even worth the effort and if I wanted an officer to come out I would need to sit there and spend an entire day off work to wait for them.  I wonder how many thousands of property crimes of that sort are never reported for that very reason?


I guess this is a national thing.  It seems that the police in general have become very lazy unless it has to do with DUI's, drugs, rape or murder.  Do you think that they would like to make a huge bust rather than find a killer? It seems it's just a competition to seehow many times they can get their names in the paper.  I believe that they sometimes forget what they signed up for.  I am also sure that there are a fair amount of domestic disputes that are not reported and pushed to the side because they "worked things out".   There is no fame or glory finding out who blew up your mailbox or stole an emblem off your car (if people still do that).  Where there are drunk teenagers, there will be property damage of some sort.  Good point.
2013-02-16 03:39:56 PM
1 votes:
Picking fruit that isn't yours is a felony in California. Keeps the bums away from the orange groves. img.gawkerassets.com
2013-02-16 03:33:38 PM
1 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com

The one from Redwood City (above) that they didn't circle is funnier than several of the ones they did circle.
2013-02-16 03:32:16 PM
1 votes:

ChrisDe: One day I might appreciate it, but my neighbors watch my house a little too closely. They've called us a couple of times for what they thought was suspicious activity, but wasn't. A friend leaving through the back door, a strange car parked in the driveway overnight. It's kind of putting the kibosh on my plans to have an affair with that intern in marketing.



   too many reality crime shows now....people are seeing a body in every trunk.
2013-02-16 03:28:28 PM
1 votes:
suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
2013-02-16 03:27:22 PM
1 votes:
One day I might appreciate it, but my neighbors watch my house a little too closely. They've called us a couple of times for what they thought was suspicious activity, but wasn't. A friend leaving through the back door, a strange car parked in the driveway overnight. It's kind of putting the kibosh on my plans to have an affair with that intern in marketing.
2013-02-16 03:26:32 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: How do such incredibly stupid people accumulate so much money?


They lie back, spread their legs and think of the divorce settlement.
2013-02-16 03:22:32 PM
1 votes:
5 February, Tuesday

0122 - Welfare Check - Inebriated brother called to report that something was wrong with his inebriated sibling. Officers responded to the residence and were told that a pretty woman was doing things with his sibling.
0714 - Assistance Rendered - Inebriated brother called to report his inebriated sibling had told him to shut up. Officers responded to the residence and found the two were arguing about a pretty woman.


Is 'pretty woman' police-speak for 'hooker'?
2013-02-16 03:20:25 PM
1 votes:

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Now why would you want to give something so toxic to poor people?
2013-02-16 03:15:48 PM
1 votes:
These residents pay the high taxes that cover the police department's labor costs.  They can use the police for whatever reason (no matter how seemingly frivolous) they want.
2013-02-16 03:12:12 PM
1 votes:
Reading the actual crimes printed next to Atherton's made it all the more funny.
2013-02-16 03:11:17 PM
1 votes:
Well their reports are a lot better than having to go check out something about some gunshot noises in the backyard, only to find that there are 3 dead freshly raped women tied up and the suspect is headed towards the nearest school.
2013-02-16 03:05:57 PM
1 votes:

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Finally, someone with a sensible plan. I also love meatloaf, so win/win.
2013-02-16 03:03:39 PM
1 votes:
Job creators.
2013-02-16 03:02:26 PM
1 votes:

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Why not.
content8.flixster.com
2013-02-16 02:29:46 PM
1 votes:

Vodka Zombie: I got pulled over once after driving on the same road twice in the span of a few minutes. I'd gone to the hardware store to pick up some things, and on my way home I realized I forgot something. So, back to the store.

When I was heading home again, the cop pulled me over and asked what I was doing. After explaining my story, he told me that he'd better not see me on that road again. I laughed at him, he said he was serious, and I laughed at him even harder.

I think he began to understand the stupidity of his order when I asked for his phone number should I need anything from any of the shops on that very busy, and very public, street as he'd be the one picking them up for me.

Poor bastard really wanted to write me a ticket for something.


get his name and badge number first ...
the look on their face when you ask for this is PRICELES

/note to SELF: do not do this when you have drugs, guns and open alcohol in the car
/fool me once you dont get fools again
2013-02-16 02:03:03 PM
1 votes:

WI241TH: Someone linked it in the comments:
http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch


"A drunken man phoned police and said he was naked, cold, and exposing himself to passing vehicles and in need of assistance. He was unable to name or describe his location.  Officers searched the common and not so common haunts of naked drunks but did not find the man in question."

Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch#storylink=cpy
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
2013-02-16 01:52:02 PM
1 votes:
Rich white people problems.
2013-02-16 01:49:08 PM
1 votes:

Andromeda: Semi-related, does anyone remember the police blotter posted for a random small town in Alaska where it was filled with crazy drunk antics and wild bears and what not?  THAT was a thing of beauty, but I can't remember what it was.


Someone linked it in the comments:
http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch
2013-02-16 01:09:59 PM
1 votes:
Semi-related, does anyone remember the police blotter posted for a random small town in Alaska where it was filled with crazy drunk antics and wild bears and what not?  THAT was a thing of beauty, but I can't remember what it was.
2013-02-16 12:48:00 PM
1 votes:
OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.
2013-02-16 11:54:10 AM
1 votes:

serial_crusher: My neighbors called the cops because of a suspicious vehicle driving by their house at the same time every day for a few weeks.
Turns out it was their next door neighbor driving to work.


While not living in a neighborhood like the one in the article, my dad got stop on his way to work by an off-duty cop, who lived a block over, for suspicion of casing the neighborhood.  My dad told him to arrest him and they will see who still has a job the next day.  The cop relented, but in time did lose his job.  We were friends with one of his coworkers.

Although, these kind of stories make me wonder why more hasn't been done for the safety of those residents.  Why hasn't the government sent in the National Guard by now?  Do we need to start a fund raiser for better security since these folks can't afford to have personal guards stand around the the property like the drug mansions in the movies?
2013-02-16 11:23:38 AM
1 votes:
My neighbors called the cops because of a suspicious vehicle driving by their house at the same time every day for a few weeks.
Turns out it was their next door neighbor driving to work.
 
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