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(Gawker)   The police blotter for America's third most expensive zip code is a thing of first world beauty   (gawker.com) divider line 150
    More: Obvious, beauty  
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29003 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2013 at 3:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-16 11:23:38 AM  
My neighbors called the cops because of a suspicious vehicle driving by their house at the same time every day for a few weeks.
Turns out it was their next door neighbor driving to work.
 
2013-02-16 11:54:10 AM  

serial_crusher: My neighbors called the cops because of a suspicious vehicle driving by their house at the same time every day for a few weeks.
Turns out it was their next door neighbor driving to work.


While not living in a neighborhood like the one in the article, my dad got stop on his way to work by an off-duty cop, who lived a block over, for suspicion of casing the neighborhood.  My dad told him to arrest him and they will see who still has a job the next day.  The cop relented, but in time did lose his job.  We were friends with one of his coworkers.

Although, these kind of stories make me wonder why more hasn't been done for the safety of those residents.  Why hasn't the government sent in the National Guard by now?  Do we need to start a fund raiser for better security since these folks can't afford to have personal guards stand around the the property like the drug mansions in the movies?
 
2013-02-16 12:36:48 PM  
How do such incredibly stupid people accumulate so much money?

/of course, being a cop there is probably a pretty cush gig
 
2013-02-16 12:48:00 PM  
OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.
 
2013-02-16 12:57:11 PM  
I for one am glad to know there is somewhere a place safe from teens wearing low slug pants exposing their undies.


/next we work on sideways hat wearing.
 
2013-02-16 01:08:10 PM  
That wasn't a man delivering a package, that was a rapist who knows how to cover his tracks when discovered
 
2013-02-16 01:09:59 PM  
Semi-related, does anyone remember the police blotter posted for a random small town in Alaska where it was filled with crazy drunk antics and wild bears and what not?  THAT was a thing of beauty, but I can't remember what it was.
 
2013-02-16 01:43:12 PM  
I bet every one of those calls originated from the same person.  Many of us had a crazy old bat like that in the neighborhoods we grew up in...
 
2013-02-16 01:49:08 PM  

Andromeda: Semi-related, does anyone remember the police blotter posted for a random small town in Alaska where it was filled with crazy drunk antics and wild bears and what not?  THAT was a thing of beauty, but I can't remember what it was.


Someone linked it in the comments:
http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch
 
2013-02-16 01:52:02 PM  
Rich white people problems.
 
2013-02-16 02:01:24 PM  

King Something: Rich white people problems.


this
although dumb should be included in the list too
 
2013-02-16 02:03:03 PM  

WI241TH: Someone linked it in the comments:
http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch


"A drunken man phoned police and said he was naked, cold, and exposing himself to passing vehicles and in need of assistance. He was unable to name or describe his location.  Officers searched the common and not so common haunts of naked drunks but did not find the man in question."

Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2013/02/07/2780557/unalaska-police-blotter.html#st o rylink=misearch#storylink=cpy
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-02-16 02:12:25 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-16 02:15:43 PM  
A friend of mine got hired as a cop in a very affluent suburb after working as a cop in Detroit for about 7 years. He got a call of an "unknown problem" at a mansion. When he arrived he was met by a woman who told him her housekeeper wasn't in that day and she couldn't reach the zipper on the back of her dress and asked him to zip it for her.
 
2013-02-16 02:22:35 PM  
I got pulled over once after driving on the same road twice in the span of a few minutes. I'd gone to the hardware store to pick up some things, and on my way home I realized I forgot something. So, back to the store.

When I was heading home again, the cop pulled me over and asked what I was doing. After explaining my story, he told me that he'd better not see me on that road again. I laughed at him, he said he was serious, and I laughed at him even harder.

I think he began to understand the stupidity of his order when I asked for his phone number should I need anything from any of the shops on that very busy, and very public, street as he'd be the one picking them up for me.

Poor bastard really wanted to write me a ticket for something.
 
2013-02-16 02:29:46 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I got pulled over once after driving on the same road twice in the span of a few minutes. I'd gone to the hardware store to pick up some things, and on my way home I realized I forgot something. So, back to the store.

When I was heading home again, the cop pulled me over and asked what I was doing. After explaining my story, he told me that he'd better not see me on that road again. I laughed at him, he said he was serious, and I laughed at him even harder.

I think he began to understand the stupidity of his order when I asked for his phone number should I need anything from any of the shops on that very busy, and very public, street as he'd be the one picking them up for me.

Poor bastard really wanted to write me a ticket for something.


get his name and badge number first ...
the look on their face when you ask for this is PRICELES

/note to SELF: do not do this when you have drugs, guns and open alcohol in the car
/fool me once you dont get fools again
 
2013-02-16 02:51:37 PM  
My father got tackled in a grocery store parking lot by a police officer. The woman ahead of him in line had left her purse on the register and he was chasing her down to return it. They (he and the cop) became drinking buddies.
 
2013-02-16 03:02:26 PM  

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Why not.
content8.flixster.com
 
2013-02-16 03:03:39 PM  
Job creators.
 
2013-02-16 03:05:57 PM  

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Finally, someone with a sensible plan. I also love meatloaf, so win/win.
 
2013-02-16 03:07:26 PM  

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


No, It's about paranoid stupid people. You know...  your people.
 
2013-02-16 03:08:40 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

ERMAGERD ... DERMERSTIK TRRRRESTS
 
2013-02-16 03:08:44 PM  
I can see how, if you didn't know anything about birds, you could easily mistake the sound of a hawk scuffling with a smaller bird for the hawk in distress. Watched a Cooper's hawk try to take babies from a songbird's nest once. The hawk flew into the tree and suddenly there was just this ungodly shrieking and the tree shook. The parent birds eventually chased the hawk away empty-taloned.
 
2013-02-16 03:10:21 PM  

scottydoesntknow: That wasn't a man delivering a package, that was a rapist who knows how to cover his tracks when discovered


What's his fark handle
 
2013-02-16 03:10:41 PM  
I deal directly with people from the Westside of LA just about every day at work and this doesn't surprise in the least. Anytime anyone tells you that people with the most money are the most talented or the smartest you should laugh in their face.

Ever wonder what rich housewives do when they're bored and can't shop? They create problems. See also: HOA's
 
2013-02-16 03:11:17 PM  
Well their reports are a lot better than having to go check out something about some gunshot noises in the backyard, only to find that there are 3 dead freshly raped women tied up and the suspect is headed towards the nearest school.
 
2013-02-16 03:11:29 PM  
jesus fark, gawker is such a terrible site. nothing but race baiting bullshiat
 
2013-02-16 03:12:12 PM  
Reading the actual crimes printed next to Atherton's made it all the more funny.
 
2013-02-16 03:14:04 PM  
I know that community. I knew a lady who lived in one of the few modest tract houses there. Atherton has resisted joining other cities or becoming part of the unincorporated county area because they're running their town just fine on their own. Given the value of those houses and the amount of tax they are paying, they used to give the cops Volvos (I kid you not) and pay them well. Just about nothing happens there, so it's a great job if you can get it.

In other words, the cops really had nothing else to do and rich people can be just as stupid about 911 as everyone else.
 
2013-02-16 03:14:06 PM  

King Something: Rich white people problems.


Why's it gotta be white people?
i3.kym-cdn.com

/snark
 
2013-02-16 03:14:39 PM  
God, I hate rich people.

And poor people too, fark them all.
 
2013-02-16 03:14:49 PM  
Went to lunch in Carmel a while back... Driving past the park I saw two firetrucks and a couple ambulances. I thought "oh shiat, tourist got a heart attack" but no... firefighter vs EMT pickup basketball game.
 
2013-02-16 03:15:48 PM  
These residents pay the high taxes that cover the police department's labor costs.  They can use the police for whatever reason (no matter how seemingly frivolous) they want.
 
2013-02-16 03:17:44 PM  
The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.  They are better liars than the criminals sometimes.  There are good ones as well, just saying this is how it is done around here.

I grew up in an area that was an all white community and realtors wouldn't imagine of selling a house to someone other than whitey, they would be cutting their own throats because of their selling fee, however one family was allowed to buy a house because he was related to someone famous.  That was my one "colored" neighbor growing up.  Things have changed a lot in 20 years.  Some good, some bad.  It's a shame when NYC and Jersey a**holes decide to move in this area because it's cheaper than their "home", as many use this area for a drug distribution hub for several areas.
 
2013-02-16 03:20:22 PM  
Not sure if all the crime reports of the different townships are placed next to each other but it seems like the areas surrounding Atherton are pretty POS dangerous places. We're talking going from picking fruit tress, paranoid of UPS guy to rape, murder and carjaking 3 blocks over. WTF?
 
2013-02-16 03:20:25 PM  

flucto: OMG this is about RICH PEOPLE? Let's all be OUTRAGED and grind them into free meatloaf for the poor.


Now why would you want to give something so toxic to poor people?
 
2013-02-16 03:20:59 PM  
from Unalaska:

2242 - Welfare Check - Officer checked the airport terminal after multiple 911 calls were received from a pay phone at that location. The officer was told by one child that another child had seen a monster and so had phoned 911. The officer did not find any of the aforesaid monsters in the terminal.
 
2013-02-16 03:21:54 PM  

JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable. It's all smoke and mirrors. Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.


And let's not forget sheer laziness.  Last time i had an attempted break-in, I called the cops and the guy on the line made it sound like the fact that he would have to fill out paperwork and send a form in the mail would just be so difficult that it wasn't even worth the effort and if I wanted an officer to come out I would need to sit there and spend an entire day off work to wait for them.  I wonder how many thousands of property crimes of that sort are never reported for that very reason?
 
2013-02-16 03:22:32 PM  
5 February, Tuesday

0122 - Welfare Check - Inebriated brother called to report that something was wrong with his inebriated sibling. Officers responded to the residence and were told that a pretty woman was doing things with his sibling.
0714 - Assistance Rendered - Inebriated brother called to report his inebriated sibling had told him to shut up. Officers responded to the residence and found the two were arguing about a pretty woman.


Is 'pretty woman' police-speak for 'hooker'?
 
2013-02-16 03:23:15 PM  
The crime blotter in the San Jose Mercury News is legendary for amusing blurbs. My all-time favorite read: "An argument occurred and it included hair pulling." That's it - the entire report.
 
2013-02-16 03:23:26 PM  

Jebdiahbob: King Something: Rich white people problems.

Why's it gotta be white people?
[i3.kym-cdn.com image 150x134]

/snark


  shut up Buckwheat.
 
2013-02-16 03:24:49 PM  

Shaggy_C: JohnnyRebel88: The police might not be reporting other criminal offenses, as this is done in my area to keep the property values stable. It's all smoke and mirrors. Never trust police and their agenda when it comes to disclosing all the information.

And let's not forget sheer laziness.  Last time i had an attempted break-in, I called the cops and the guy on the line made it sound like the fact that he would have to fill out paperwork and send a form in the mail would just be so difficult that it wasn't even worth the effort and if I wanted an officer to come out I would need to sit there and spend an entire day off work to wait for them.  I wonder how many thousands of property crimes of that sort are never reported for that very reason?


It's like you wrote a brochure for Toledo.
 
2013-02-16 03:25:27 PM  

GreenSun: Well their reports are a lot better than having to go check out something about some gunshot noises in the backyard, only to find that there are 3 dead freshly raped women tied up and the suspect is headed towards the nearest school.


Ok then.
 
2013-02-16 03:26:32 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: How do such incredibly stupid people accumulate so much money?


They lie back, spread their legs and think of the divorce settlement.
 
2013-02-16 03:27:22 PM  
One day I might appreciate it, but my neighbors watch my house a little too closely. They've called us a couple of times for what they thought was suspicious activity, but wasn't. A friend leaving through the back door, a strange car parked in the driveway overnight. It's kind of putting the kibosh on my plans to have an affair with that intern in marketing.
 
2013-02-16 03:28:28 PM  
suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
 
2013-02-16 03:29:04 PM  
The one about the hawk enjoying dinner was the best one, IMHO.
 
2013-02-16 03:29:14 PM  

Shaggy_C: These residents pay the high taxes that cover the police department's labor costs.  They can use the police for whatever reason (no matter how seemingly frivolous) they want.


No that's not actually how it works
 
2013-02-16 03:30:19 PM  

ChrisDe: One day I might appreciate it, but my neighbors watch my house a little too closely. They've called us a couple of times for what they thought was suspicious activity, but wasn't. A friend leaving through the back door, a strange car parked in the driveway overnight. It's kind of putting the kibosh on my plans to have an affair with that intern in marketing.


Believe me, she's fine. I was with her last night and she said to say hi.

/Obscure?
 
2013-02-16 03:30:39 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I got pulled over once after driving on the same road twice in the span of a few minutes. I'd gone to the hardware store to pick up some things, and on my way home I realized I forgot something. So, back to the store.

When I was heading home again, the cop pulled me over and asked what I was doing. After explaining my story, he told me that he'd better not see me on that road again. I laughed at him, he said he was serious, and I laughed at him even harder.

I think he began to understand the stupidity of his order when I asked for his phone number should I need anything from any of the shops on that very busy, and very public, street as he'd be the one picking them up for me.

Poor bastard really wanted to write me a ticket for something.


Probably an anti-cruising law.
 
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