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(National Post)   Oh Canada. Oh Canada. OH CANADA   (news.nationalpost.com) divider line 67
    More: Stupid, Canadians, customer complaint, control commission, Alcohol law, Ron Jeremy, Winnipeg Free Press, Liquor Control Board of Ontario  
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13236 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2013 at 8:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-16 08:36:24 AM
Pour me a stiff one.
 
2013-02-16 08:40:07 AM
FTFA: "Dubbed Ron de Jeremy, the liquor's label features an image of Ron Jeremy's face above the taglines "the adult liquor" and "long smooth taste.""

I am going to guess there were a couple of adjectives that were omitted between the words "long" and "smooth" in an attempt to satisfy government censors.
 
2013-02-16 08:40:14 AM

thepeterd: Pour me a stiff one.


I had all my puns ready to deploy, but the number of sex-related drink names is off the charts. Where is the challenge?
 
2013-02-16 08:40:42 AM
why did i think of Celine Deon right away w/o reading the article?
 
2013-02-16 08:45:31 AM
So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada. But then again, the national post is the fox news of Canada's newspapers
 
2013-02-16 08:46:03 AM
"On Thursday, however, after the decision was publicized, the rum was restocked after liquor authorities determined that it did not, in fact, have any obscene content."

Ah, the power of bad publicity.
 
2013-02-16 08:46:20 AM
I don't want a shot from that bottle, not for any amount of money.
 
2013-02-16 08:47:46 AM
"There's nothing offensive about the name of the product or its label; you have to know who Ron Jeremy is and what his former profession was - and then that has to offend you," said Ms. Kowal.

This. How do these fine, upstanding members of the offenderati even know who Ron Jeremy IS?

/Ha-rumph!
 
2013-02-16 08:48:06 AM
Finally. a wine that can taste itself.
 
2013-02-16 08:49:54 AM
I'druther have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle of Jeremy.
 
2013-02-16 08:51:09 AM

wellreadneck: Finally. a wine rum that can taste itself.
 That sucks.

 
2013-02-16 08:51:46 AM
www.collectiondx.com

/oddly appropriate
 
2013-02-16 08:52:06 AM
You'd have to be drunk to want a bottle of that.
 
2013-02-16 08:54:44 AM
Too many prissy old ladies and the emasculated male equivalents wind up on the liquor boards.
Also, there is a lot of protectionism going on with these senile old farts, too.

Back in the 1960s in Ontario one had to fill out a goddamn GOVERNMENT FORM and wait in a line for ages and ages every time to purchase liquor. Imagine, a store run like a DMV.

At least that has changed.

Man, we really need to stop giving power to these stuck up narrow-minded prudes. Most useless creature on the planet.
 
2013-02-16 08:56:49 AM
FTA--'One Eyed Spirits'

HA!
 
2013-02-16 08:57:17 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Too many prissy old ladies and the emasculated male equivalents wind up on the liquor boards.
Also, there is a lot of protectionism going on with these senile old farts, too.

Back in the 1960s in Ontario one had to fill out a goddamn GOVERNMENT FORM and wait in a line for ages and ages every time to purchase liquor. Imagine, a store run like a DMV.

At least that has changed.

Man, we really need to stop giving power to these stuck up narrow-minded prudes. Most useless creature on the planet.


My understanding is that taking the government out of the liquor business will result in less selection and higher prices for consumers.
 
2013-02-16 08:57:36 AM
well it's no washer fluid...
 
2013-02-16 09:03:35 AM
In Canada, it'a ok to buy liquor, as long you feel ashamed.
 
2013-02-16 09:08:13 AM
S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.
 
2013-02-16 09:12:53 AM

ghostwind: So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada.



Mathematically speaking, Manitoba  upload.wikimedia.org Canada.

Which is much better than Canada  € Europe.
 
2013-02-16 09:29:26 AM
4 fingers of de Jeremy
1 finger of Southern Comfort
 
2013-02-16 09:33:32 AM
Perhaps a simple logo change?
i613.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-16 09:37:49 AM
A little hair of the hog...I mean dog?
 
2013-02-16 09:42:25 AM

ghostwind: So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada. But then again, the national post is the fox news of Canada's newspapers


I know Quebec is notorious for pulling mental gymnastics when it comes to what it does and doesn't belong to but this is the first time I've heard someone claim Manitoba isn't part of Canada.

technicallycorrectthebestkindofcorrect.jpg
 
2013-02-16 09:45:22 AM

StrikitRich: A little hair of the hog...I mean dog?


Some people claim that when he was younger, Ron Jeremy used look a bit like Tom Selleck -- who was apparently a fat and balding porn star.
 
2013-02-16 09:49:13 AM

Snarfangel: StrikitRich: A little hair of the hog...I mean dog?

Some people claim that when he was younger, Ron Jeremy used look a bit like Tom Selleck -- who was apparently a fat and balding porn star.


Do a GIS of Ron Jeremy (with safe search on if you want) you'll eventually come across pictures of him when he was young - looked very different than he does now
 
2013-02-16 09:50:26 AM
Actually, it was banned for the... uh... "unconventional flavouring" substance that was found in it.

Not quite as bad as "Peter North's Cream Liqueur", but it was there nonetheless.
 
2013-02-16 09:51:08 AM

BumpInTheNight: ghostwind: So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada. But then again, the national post is the fox news of Canada's newspapers

I know Quebec is notorious for pulling mental gymnastics when it comes to what it does and doesn't belong to but this is the first time I've heard someone claim Manitoba isn't part of Canada.

technicallycorrectthebestkindofcorrect.jpg


lol yeah, and it's The Sun that's the Fox News equivalent.

/posters' profile says he's in Germany so it can slide
 
2013-02-16 09:52:11 AM
Perhaps most notoriously, the commercial cannot contain images, sounds or even hints of the product being consumed.

isn't this true in the U.S. too?  Have you ever seen anybody actually drink in a liquor commercial?
 
2013-02-16 09:54:57 AM

Special J: In Canada, it'a ok to buy liquor, as long you feel ashamed.


But you just have to be apologetic to buy beer.
 
2013-02-16 09:56:53 AM

Special J: In Canada, it'a ok to buy liquor, as long you feel ashamed.


Whenever I go to the liquor store (which is really often), most of my fellow Canadians are either buying Bud or Corona.

They *should* feel ashamed.
 
2013-02-16 09:57:23 AM

FTFA:

"I'm just happy this whole drama is behind us and we can work on getting rum to the Canadian people,"
 
2013-02-16 10:09:10 AM
i877.photobucket.com

I want ButtSex!!!
 
2013-02-16 10:09:41 AM

BumpInTheNight: ghostwind: So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada. But then again, the national post is the fox news of Canada's newspapers

I know Quebec is notorious for pulling mental gymnastics when it comes to what it does and doesn't belong to but this is the first time I've heard someone claim Manitoba isn't part of Canada.

technicallycorrectthebestkindofcorrect.jpg


He correctly said Manitoba ≠ Canada, not Manitoba ∉ Canada.
 
2013-02-16 10:09:49 AM

BumpInTheNight: ghostwind: So, there was a temporary ban put on it, which was almost immediately lifted in MANITOBA. Manitoba != Canada. But then again, the national post is the fox news of Canada's newspapers

I know Quebec is notorious for pulling mental gymnastics when it comes to what it does and doesn't belong to but this is the first time I've heard someone claim Manitoba isn't part of Canada.

technicallycorrectthebestkindofcorrect.jpg


I never claimed that manitoba is not part of Canada, just that saying the policies of one province do not equal the polices of another
 
2013-02-16 10:15:17 AM

number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.


Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?
 
2013-02-16 10:18:08 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.

Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?


Depends on the state.
 
2013-02-16 10:19:39 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.

Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?


Worst yet I've heard that America's youth aren't considered responsible enough to drink until they are ...21...like come on that's ridiculous!

ghostwind: I never claimed that manitoba is not part of Canada, just that saying the policies of one province do not equal the polices of another


So this isn't an example of the typically draconian liquor laws spread out among Canada's regions?  Oh, my bad I thought this was.
 
2013-02-16 10:26:01 AM
"We acknowledge that some alcohol products do have themes and names that do offend some customers, but our products are also for adults," said Ms. Kowal.

So much this. Man the fark up, liquor board.

But I'm still not drinking a rum named after a porn star.
 
2013-02-16 10:45:56 AM
The "LC's", what we Manitobans call the provincial liquor stores, will take requests and start stocking what their customers want. I really have a hard time believing there was any demand in the first place. To top it off, anything made from grapes or fruit is sold in private stores. Same with beer. Prices are high due to taxes but that's another story.

What is interesting is the thought this is somehow an outrage, with all the spirits vieing for shelf space even without any guidance this one won't be stocked beyond this limited publicity as a gag item, no puns intended.
 
2013-02-16 10:46:53 AM
Meanwhile in Germany, there is a beer called "farking Hell"

/ya, it sucks
 
2013-02-16 11:18:17 AM
I've never wanted to put ron jeremy in my mouth.

There is so much wrong with this article, I don't know where to start. Hip hop ban? Racists!

Why did I think canada didn't have prohibition? Didn't those bootleggers sneak across the canada border in all those movies? And what about that (awesome) movie called "the saddest music in the world" where canadia lured everyone there during prohibition to imbibe beer and slide into pools of its delicious goodness?

/my tapeworm says I should sleep with your brother.
/i heart isabella rosselini.
 
2013-02-16 11:19:51 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.

Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?


it does indeed depend on the state, but usually, full nudity implies they can't sell alcohol...

BUT...they will sell you the cup to drink out of (I think this applies broadly in the states)...they turn into BYOB places. Many, many moons ago, I, ahem, attended, ahem, a bachelor party in S.W. Pennsylvania where it was BYOB...

Whiskey, beer, vodak, you name it. The place sold food (I think it was a requirement and it was god-awful) and cups (at $5 / ea). The strippers would do shots with you and stick, literally stick, your face between their legs...

It was a more innocent time, then...
 
2013-02-16 11:20:16 AM

BumpInTheNight: God Is My Co-Pirate: number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.

Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?

Worst yet I've heard that America's youth aren't considered responsible enough to drink until they are ...21...like come on that's ridiculous!

ghostwind: I never claimed that manitoba is not part of Canada, just that saying the policies of one province do not equal the polices of another

So this isn't an example of the typically draconian liquor laws spread out among Canada's regions?  Oh, my bad I thought this was.


It could be an example of draconian liquor laws in Canada... Nonetheless this title and article commit the fallacy of false equivocation. It would be like someone writing an article titled "All Americans are Asshats," and then writing an article about one guy they met once in the middle of Arkansas at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. While this person is representative of some Americans (and other nationalities in general), he does not represent all Americans.
 
2013-02-16 11:43:38 AM
So, it's okay for you to say all of Canada is like this because of Manitoba and Ontario have LCBs that are a bunch of prudes? Good, then I don't feel so back when I compare all the the US to Mississippi.

/ignorant sweeping generalization IS FUN!
 
2013-02-16 11:46:06 AM

Mr_Ectomy: So, it's okay for you to say all of Canada is like this because of Manitoba and Ontario have LCBs that are a bunch of prudes? Good, then I don't feel so back when I compare all the the US to Mississippi.

/ignorant sweeping generalization IS FUN!


Quit whining. You sound like an America. It's embarrassing.
 
2013-02-16 11:48:01 AM

WhippingBoy: Mr_Ectomy: So, it's okay for you to say all of Canada is like this because of Manitoba and Ontario have LCBs that are a bunch of prudes? Good, then I don't feel so back when I compare all the the US to Mississippi.

/ignorant sweeping generalization IS FUN!

Quit whining. You sound like an America. It's embarrassing.


He must be from Quebec... Har Har Har!
 
2013-02-16 11:50:25 AM

WhippingBoy: Mr_Ectomy: So, it's okay for you to say all of Canada is like this because of Manitoba and Ontario have LCBs that are a bunch of prudes? Good, then I don't feel so back when I compare all the the US to Mississippi.

/ignorant sweeping generalization IS FUN!

Quit whining. You sound like an America. It's embarrassing.


Dood, I'm terribly sorry that my sarcasm font is on the fritz. Let me get on fixing that.
 
2013-02-16 11:51:34 AM

Mr_Ectomy: WhippingBoy: Mr_Ectomy: So, it's okay for you to say all of Canada is like this because of Manitoba and Ontario have LCBs that are a bunch of prudes? Good, then I don't feel so back when I compare all the the US to Mississippi.

/ignorant sweeping generalization IS FUN!

Quit whining. You sound like an America. It's embarrassing.

Dood, I'm terribly sorry that my sarcasm font is on the fritz. Let me get on fixing that.


There, now you sound like a proper Canadian.
 
2013-02-16 12:09:43 PM

ghostwind: BumpInTheNight: God Is My Co-Pirate: number_man: S'rong wi-chu?!?

I'll never understand you Canucks - stronger cigarettes and a biatchy liquor board. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma cooked into gravy drizzled on poutine.

Is it true that strippers in most states don't get fully naked, and you can't drink in a strip club?

Worst yet I've heard that America's youth aren't considered responsible enough to drink until they are ...21...like come on that's ridiculous!

ghostwind: I never claimed that manitoba is not part of Canada, just that saying the policies of one province do not equal the polices of another

So this isn't an example of the typically draconian liquor laws spread out among Canada's regions?  Oh, my bad I thought this was.

It could be an example of draconian liquor laws in Canada... Nonetheless this title and article commit the fallacy of false equivocation. It would be like someone writing an article titled "All Americans are Asshats," and then writing an article about one guy they met once in the middle of Arkansas at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. While this person is representative of some Americans (and other nationalities in general), he does not represent all Americans.


Such whiny prissy biatches Canadians are.
 
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