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(SFGate)   Days since last mass hatcheting: 0   (sfgate.com) divider line 102
    More: Scary, hatchet  
•       •       •

10712 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 9:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-15 08:31:29 PM
This is not the time to talk about hatchet control.
 
2013-02-15 08:36:52 PM
Days since last stupid headline like this also at 0
 
2013-02-15 08:45:58 PM

davidphogan: This is not the time to talk about hatchet control.


Man, if hatchets are outlawed, only outlaws will have hatchets!
 
2013-02-15 08:58:25 PM
Was it a high-capacity hatchet with a folding stock or a bayonet lug?
 
2013-02-15 09:01:18 PM
militarytimes.com

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.
 
2013-02-15 09:02:00 PM

hundreddollarman: Was it a high-capacity hatchet with a folding stock or a bayonet lug?


It was an assault hatchet.

Probably bought at one of those hatchet shows.
 
2013-02-15 09:03:26 PM

Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.


That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.
 
2013-02-15 09:07:59 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.


I'm actually looking at getting just a large fixed blade knife for similar duties. The Kershaw camp 10 specifically, because it's cheap
www.highvelocitytactical.com
 
2013-02-15 09:09:40 PM
Ugh. Another hatchet control thread.
 
2013-02-15 09:10:18 PM
Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?
 
2013-02-15 09:13:00 PM

LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?


Thank God Adam Lanza hadn't been armed with a hammer or something, he could've done some real damage.
 
2013-02-15 09:13:34 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: hundreddollarman: Was it a high-capacity hatchet with a folding stock or a bayonet lug?

It was an assault hatchet.

Probably bought at one of those hatchet shows.


We must close the hatchet show loophole!
 
2013-02-15 09:14:13 PM
They're just
cps-static.rovicorp.com
 
2013-02-15 09:15:30 PM
Are we in double digit deaths by hatchet this year?  Does it have to hit double digits before someone strawman's the shiat out of it?

Can we please have a serious national discussion about the biggest threat to our democracy, the proliferation and escalation of gun control strawman arguments?
 
2013-02-15 09:15:50 PM

LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?


LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?


   you have to sharpen those things for maximum value...otherwise,you just got an awkward hammer.
 
2013-02-15 09:16:06 PM

LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?


If they didn't have hatchets they would have stayed home and watched American Idol.

If they had guns, they would have just threatened the house owners with them.  They were there to steal, not kill.

With a hatchet, it isn't enough to just threaten someone, they had to disable the homeowners before they could steal.
 
2013-02-15 09:17:14 PM

kmmontandon: LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?

Thank God Adam Lanza hadn't been armed with a hammer or something, he could've done some real damage.


Or even Bill Adama
 
2013-02-15 09:17:26 PM

AcesFull: LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?

LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?

   you have to sharpen those things for maximum value...otherwise,you just got an awkward hammer.


Why don't we just make it illegal to sell hatchet sharpeners?  This way we don't have to worry about hatchet control?
 
2013-02-15 09:18:30 PM
ya know, maybe we should consider doing something to help the folks who on the edge of goin off their rockers before they knock you off yours
 
2013-02-15 09:18:38 PM

coeyagi: Are we in double digit deaths by hatchet this year?  Does it have to hit double digits before someone strawman's the shiat out of it?

Can we please have a serious national discussion about the biggest threat to our democracy, the proliferation and escalation of gun control strawman arguments?


Why are you diverting attention from our problem of legal assault hatchet ownership?
 
2013-02-15 09:19:20 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Days since last stupid headline like this also at 0


That counter has never been not zero
 
2013-02-15 09:19:37 PM

Frank N Stein: coeyagi: Are we in double digit deaths by hatchet this year?  Does it have to hit double digits before someone strawman's the shiat out of it?

Can we please have a serious national discussion about the biggest threat to our democracy, the proliferation and escalation of gun control strawman arguments?

Why are you diverting attention from our problem of legal assault hatchet ownership?


Why are you diverting attention from our problem of unlicensed concealed hatchet carry?
 
2013-02-15 09:19:45 PM
Oh, come on.  Can you really call two people a mass? I think that four is pretty much the minimum required for a mass hatcheting.
 
2013-02-15 09:19:53 PM

LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?


The idea is for the homeowners to have guns to defend themselves from thugs with hatchets.
 
2013-02-15 09:20:36 PM
cdn2.mamapop.com

is lending his expertise to the investigation.
 
2013-02-15 09:20:57 PM

mizchief: LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?

The idea is for the homeowners to have guns to defend themselves from thugs with hatchets.


I certainly feel the need to have a 30 round mag to mow down the zombie apocalypse 2.0, now with higher brain function for carrying hatchets!
 
2013-02-15 09:21:01 PM
I suffered from a nasty hatchet wound for 5 years. Then I got divorced.
 
2013-02-15 09:23:34 PM
kmmontandon:Thank God Adam Lanza hadn't been armed with a hammer or something, he could've done some real damage.

Agrees

i43.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 09:23:54 PM

Apos: is lending his expertise to the investigation.


Yeah, but where was the friendly neighbourhood hatchet brother to prevent this?

/likely catching a big wave
 
2013-02-15 09:24:29 PM

kmmontandon: LordJiro: Two people with non-life threatening injuries. Good thing the robbers didn't have guns, innit?

Thank God Adam Lanza hadn't been armed with a hammer or something, he could've done some real damage.


Or Bill Ayers for that matter.

Loosening up of the hammer control in SF has obviously not been good.
 
2013-02-15 09:25:13 PM

Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.


How many swings does that thing hold in its clip?

/kidding
 
2013-02-15 09:27:18 PM

Apos: [cdn2.mamapop.com image 550x395]

is lending his expertise to the investigation.


SU-MASH!
 
2013-02-15 09:27:22 PM

Frank N Stein: coeyagi: Are we in double digit deaths by hatchet this year?  Does it have to hit double digits before someone strawman's the shiat out of it?

Can we please have a serious national discussion about the biggest threat to our democracy, the proliferation and escalation of gun control strawman arguments?

Why are you diverting attention from our problem of legal assault hatchet ownership?


We don't know that he was the actual owner. He could have stolen the hatchet, borrowed it from his friend Dave or even found it outside the house before they entered.

We need hatchet registration AND bio-activated locks on hatchets.
 
2013-02-15 09:29:07 PM
exclaim.ca
  does not approve
 
2013-02-15 09:29:20 PM
Wanted for questioning:

www.tucsonweekly.com
 
2013-02-15 09:30:12 PM
You can have my hatchet when you take it from my messily-hacked-off-hand.
 
2013-02-15 09:31:33 PM

Tymast:   does not approve


Took long enough for this to show

/I approve... Something...
 
2013-02-15 09:32:48 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
Dammit, Michael.
 
2013-02-15 09:36:00 PM
Hatchet attack, you say?
www.liveforfilms.com
 
2013-02-15 09:37:41 PM
4chandata.org

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.
 
2013-02-15 09:37:49 PM

No Time To Explain: Tymast:   does not approve

Took long enough for this to show

/I approve... Something...


Interesting. When I was in the joint doing a dime stretch I turned into a brown-boy...I ATE shiat.
 
2013-02-15 09:38:58 PM

Amos Quito: [4chandata.org image 498x299]

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.


I kilt the bar what kilt me....
 
2013-02-15 09:39:01 PM
no civilian needs a hatchet that big.
must be making up for small penis.
 
2013-02-15 09:43:07 PM

Amos Quito: They say nothing is obscure on Fark.


Some things are. It helps if they're actually obscure.
 
2013-02-15 09:43:49 PM
static.tumblr.com
Bad publicity..
 
2013-02-15 09:45:27 PM
www.irwinator.com
 
2013-02-15 09:45:28 PM
attacked in their home with a hatchet Thursday night by three men
three men attacked the 58-year-old man with a hatchet


How do 3 men attack someone with 1 hatchet?  How does that work?  Do they each take a swipe and then hand it to the next guy?  "Your turn, bro"
 
2013-02-15 09:48:00 PM

TreeHugger: attacked in their home with a hatchet Thursday night by three men
three men attacked the 58-year-old man with a hatchet

How do 3 men attack someone with 1 hatchet?  How does that work?  Do they each take a swipe and then hand it to the next guy?  "Your turn, bro"


Sharing is caring

/friends of a feather hatchet together
 
2013-02-15 09:48:59 PM

Oldiron_79: Peter von Nostrand: Days since last stupid headline like this also at 0

That counter has never been not zero


[welcometofark.jpg]

...home of the stupid headlines, cuz that's the point, isn't it?
 
2013-02-15 09:51:30 PM

Amos Quito: [4chandata.org image 498x299]



     a resident of Ogden Utah...he leaves behind loving wives..Leah,Rachel,Sarah,Mary,Sandra,Beth,Jessica,Susan,Eve,Andrea and Jo Ann....along with 62 children.
 
2013-02-15 09:53:08 PM
ICP unavailable for comment.
 
2013-02-15 09:56:26 PM
images.encyclopediadramatica.se
Knows a thing or two about mass hatchetings.
Also knows English- very well.
 
2013-02-15 09:59:13 PM

AcesFull: Amos Quito: [4chandata.org image 498x299]

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

I kilt the bar what kilt me....



Wins!


davidphogan: Amos Quito: They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

Some things are. It helps if they're actually obscure.



It was a ruse... designed to expose the old fart Farkers.


;-Off my lawn!
 
2013-02-15 10:00:14 PM
If we ban hatchets, only criminals will be sawyers.

i808.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 10:00:15 PM
How the hell is an attempted robbery a "mass event" subtard?
 
2013-02-15 10:01:32 PM

12349876: How the hell is an attempted robbery a "mass event" subtard?


So Fark can fill it's mass weapon story quota to fill our mass appetite for outrage and strawmans.
 
2013-02-15 10:02:57 PM

12349876: How the hell is an attempted robbery a "mass event" subtard?


Yea, 2 injured does not= mass anything. Hell it doesn't even rank a Friday night. Just you watch.
 
2013-02-15 10:02:59 PM

Chameleon: Oh, come on.  Can you really call two people a mass? I think that four is pretty much the minimum required for a mass hatcheting.


Depends how fat they are, I guess.
 
2013-02-15 10:04:33 PM
Noe Valley

Damn, I used to live there.
 
2013-02-15 10:07:37 PM
Need more officers trained in hatchet to hatchet combat.

i208.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 10:10:35 PM
I work at a luxury hotel, and the day before Valentines Day a wild eyed guy (I only saw hs mug shot) walked into our  flower shop with a hatchet. Two male employees took him down and no one got hurt. So there is one disappointed lady out here who didn't  get her flowers.
 
2013-02-15 10:11:48 PM

Amos Quito: AcesFull: Amos Quito: [4chandata.org image 498x299]

They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

I kilt the bar what kilt me....


Wins!


davidphogan: Amos Quito: They say nothing is obscure on Fark.

Some things are. It helps if they're actually obscure.


It was a ruse... designed to expose the old fart Farkers.


;-Off my lawn!


I know, I just hate that meme.
 
2013-02-15 10:13:58 PM
not obscure to you know it all's:
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 10:15:21 PM
"I hate hate. I hate hatchet"

/obscure?
 
2013-02-15 10:23:44 PM
bearded clamorer: I suffered from a nasty hatchet wound for 5 years. Then I got divorced.

Came for the hatchet wound joke.  Satisfied.
 
2013-02-15 10:24:25 PM
Well, this thread certainly brought out the stupid people.

/Both men were taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening lacerations.
 
2013-02-15 10:25:10 PM
i.imgur.com
Approves.
 
2013-02-15 10:28:30 PM

KrispyKritter: not obscure to you know it all's:
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


   people watching a naked guy with a hatchet walking down the street....and they're hoping.   wishing and hoping.
 
2013-02-15 10:28:34 PM

biyaaatci: Well, this thread certainly brought out the stupid people.

/Both men were taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening lacerations.


Yes, I was just commenting to the 6' 3" rabbit in the room how I thought there were too many people saying that this was indeed a mass hatcheting.
 
2013-02-15 10:31:27 PM

biyaaatci: Well, this thread certainly brought out the stupid people.

/Both men were taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening lacerations.


yeah because it means nothing to have your face lacerated and lose partial function in one arm due to the a hatchet wound.
 
2013-02-15 10:36:15 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: biyaaatci: Well, this thread certainly brought out the stupid people.

/Both men were taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening lacerations.

yeah because it means nothing to have your face lacerated and lose partial function in one arm due to the a hatchet wound.



    There would be far less mass hatchetings if the Church could keep those priests in line....
 
2013-02-15 10:37:18 PM
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villisc a_Axe_Murders
 
2013-02-15 10:39:34 PM
If I had a hatchet and I were a hatcheter, I'd be thrilled to make you my hatchetee.
 
2013-02-15 10:49:26 PM

Apos: [cdn2.mamapop.com image 550x395]

is lending his expertise to the investigation.


"No matter what you did you deserve respect. Even if you make mistakes, you loveable. It doesn't matter your looks, skills, age, or size, or anything. You're worthwhile. No one can ever take that away from you. [...] So I started smashing him in the head, smash, smash, sah-MASH!"
 
2013-02-15 10:56:06 PM
g-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-02-15 10:58:04 PM
t1.gstatic.com Oops, sorry, wrong thread.
 
2013-02-15 10:59:29 PM
Juggalos.  Mother Farkin' Juggalos...
 
2013-02-15 11:05:43 PM

Frank N Stein: tenpoundsofcheese: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.

I'm actually looking at getting just a large fixed blade knife for similar duties. The Kershaw camp 10 specifically, because it's cheap
[www.highvelocitytactical.com image 400x250]


Looks like my main knife for checking out that noise out back.
/made from a saw blade.
//yes. I tempered it.
///yes. it will clean cut a coconut in half with little force.
 
2013-02-15 11:06:25 PM
But was it a military-style hatchet? That's what I really need to know to decide if we should start banning hatchets.
 
2013-02-15 11:16:58 PM
You stupid libs!  A home invasion isn't a mass hatcheting.  Duh!
 
2013-02-15 11:21:01 PM

vudukungfu: Frank N Stein: tenpoundsofcheese: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.

I'm actually looking at getting just a large fixed blade knife for similar duties. The Kershaw camp 10 specifically, because it's cheap
[www.highvelocitytactical.com image 400x250]

Looks like my main knife for checking out that noise out back.
/made from a saw blade.
//yes. I tempered it.
///yes. it will clean cut a coconut in half with little force.


Haha. Along with coconut cutting, I'll be using it for chopping up fire wood when I'm out camping
 
2013-02-15 11:22:49 PM
img850.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-15 11:23:03 PM
One thing's for sure: the fact that no one was killed in this incident means that hatchets are incapable of hurting anyone.
 
2013-02-15 11:28:53 PM

Frank N Stein: Haha. Along with coconut cutting, I'll be using it for chopping up fire wood when I'm out camping


Only ever used mine on a Fischer car.
Iff'n I ever get attacked by fire wood, I'm sure it might come in handy.
 
2013-02-15 11:45:35 PM

Fista-Phobia: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x338]


What's Ueck doing here??
 
2013-02-16 12:12:16 AM

MaliFinn: Fista-Phobia: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x338]

What's Ueck doing here??


Fist is drunk. And Marty's color commentary ain't helping.
 
2013-02-16 12:18:16 AM

Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.


That's a Glock AR-47 tactical assault hatchet.
 
2013-02-16 12:33:35 AM

Frank N Stein: There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.


If they're anything like those folding army surplus shovels, I'm not worried.
 
2013-02-16 12:34:37 AM

Frank N Stein: tenpoundsofcheese: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.

I'm actually looking at getting just a large fixed blade knife for similar duties. The Kershaw camp 10 specifically, because it's cheap
[www.highvelocitytactical.com image 400x250]


get a hatchet,  cheap steel blades of "knife blade" like thickness will get edge gouges even by hacking the leg bones of small deer
 
2013-02-16 12:44:46 AM

thisisarepeat: Frank N Stein: tenpoundsofcheese: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's nasty.
There is NO reason to have a two sided hatchet like that.  A blade on one side is all someone needs.  They can put a flower or something on the other side.

I'm actually looking at getting just a large fixed blade knife for similar duties. The Kershaw camp 10 specifically, because it's cheap
[www.highvelocitytactical.com image 400x250]

get a hatchet,  cheap steel blades of "knife blade" like thickness will get edge gouges even by hacking the leg bones of small deer


get a small bow saw for wood, hacksaw for deer... have three axes though, two with short handles

The bow saw rules the car camping adventures.
 
2013-02-16 12:45:58 AM
Time for an "assault hatchet" ban!
 
2013-02-16 12:58:52 AM
Not amused....

law2.umkc.edu
 
2013-02-16 01:02:57 AM
I'm certain I don/t need one but just in case you do:

www.trueswords.com


the tool, I'm guessing around half need the... uhmm... tool holder
 
2013-02-16 01:27:34 AM
Really I'm the first?

NHA:The only way to stop a bad guy with a hatchet is with a good guy with a hatchet.
 
2013-02-16 01:43:34 AM

BuckTurgidson: Frank N Stein: [militarytimes.com image 500x311]

There is no legitimate civilian use for military-style assault hatchets.

That's a Glock AR-47 tactical assault hatchet.


Yay!
 
2013-02-16 02:23:57 AM
They're just practicing

assets.rollingstone.com
 
2013-02-16 08:21:45 AM
www.fakesteve.net

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to kill a wild pig with a hatchet? story is a non-starter, sorry!
 
2013-02-16 08:40:57 AM

Fista-Phobia: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x338]


    he was always at his best on Johnny Carson...My favorite..


Johnny: "So Bob,how did you handle those bench clearing brawls??

Uecker.."Nothing to it...See,I was a catcher so I had all that gear on,plus,I would just wait 'til the fight started..then I would go around the circle hitting guys in the back of the head......But they finally got me one day...Couple of guys held me down and another couple of guys pulled my gear off..Then they beat the crap out of me....It wouldn't have been so bad Johnny...but those guys were on my own team!
 
2013-02-16 08:58:42 AM

AcesFull: Fista-Phobia: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x338]

    he was always at his best on Johnny Carson...My favorite..


Johnny: "So Bob,how did you handle those bench clearing brawls??

Uecker.."Nothing to it...See,I was a catcher so I had all that gear on,plus,I would just wait 'til the fight started..then I would go around the circle hitting guys in the back of the head......But they finally got me one day...Couple of guys held me down and another couple of guys pulled my gear off..Then they beat the crap out of me....It wouldn't have been so bad Johnny...but those guys were on my own team!


And thus the thread goes full circle...

a1.vsoh.com
 
2013-02-16 09:35:25 AM

Kyosuke: AcesFull: Fista-Phobia: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x338]

    he was always at his best on Johnny Carson...My favorite..


Johnny: "So Bob,how did you handle those bench clearing brawls??

Uecker.."Nothing to it...See,I was a catcher so I had all that gear on,plus,I would just wait 'til the fight started..then I would go around the circle hitting guys in the back of the head......But they finally got me one day...Couple of guys held me down and another couple of guys pulled my gear off..Then they beat the crap out of me....It wouldn't have been so bad Johnny...but those guys were on my own team!

And thus the thread goes full circle...

[a1.vsoh.com image 320x180]



 +1,000...
 
2013-02-16 09:46:12 AM

TreeHugger: attacked in their home with a hatchet Thursday night by three men
three men attacked the 58-year-old man with a hatchet

How do 3 men attack someone with 1 hatchet?  How does that work?  Do they each take a swipe and then hand it to the next guy?  "Your turn, bro"



   the truly dark side of crime.....home invaders..on a budget.
 
2013-02-17 12:24:09 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

// Here for the beer.
//\X\V//|X//|\ Hacks.
 
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