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(Foodbeast)   Creamy peanut butter is -- and always will be -- better than chunky   (foodbeast.com) divider line 89
    More: Amusing, Creamy  
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8390 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 5:40 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-15 04:34:09 PM  
16 votes:
Wrong.
2013-02-15 05:01:03 PM  
7 votes:
Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.
2013-02-15 04:36:17 PM  
7 votes:
Blasphemer!
2013-02-15 05:27:33 PM  
6 votes:
All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.
2013-02-15 05:45:43 PM  
5 votes:

Meatschool: I don't get any of it anymore... kid is allergic.


Peanut Butter > Kids
2013-02-15 05:34:04 PM  
5 votes:
false. chunky is preferable is all applications
2013-02-15 04:48:55 PM  
5 votes:
Wrong!  Wrong!  Brimming over with wrongability!
2013-02-15 05:48:36 PM  
4 votes:
Chunky.

/Peanut butter and banana sandwiches; yum.
2013-02-15 05:43:59 PM  
4 votes:
I call bullshiat, chunky is way better
2013-02-15 05:07:06 PM  
4 votes:
You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.
2013-02-15 06:26:58 PM  
3 votes:
Chunky or else.

Also, peanuts, salt.  That's all that's allowed on the ingredients list.
2013-02-15 05:54:08 PM  
3 votes:

PainInTheASP: I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.



That's user error.
2013-02-15 05:50:56 PM  
3 votes:
Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.
2013-02-15 05:47:08 PM  
3 votes:
Eating a spoonful of chunky is one of the most satisfying snacks known to man. A spoonful of creamy pb is, well, just Borneo g and stupid.
Chunky rules!
2013-02-15 05:46:43 PM  
3 votes:
Can we at least agree that fat free peanut butter is bullshiat?
2013-02-15 05:11:22 PM  
3 votes:
liar.
2013-02-15 04:34:45 PM  
3 votes:
It is known.
2013-02-15 08:05:33 PM  
2 votes:
CHUNKY! If I wanted to eat glue, I'd eat farking glue.
2013-02-15 05:56:41 PM  
2 votes:
i411.photobucket.com
All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.
2013-02-15 05:55:30 PM  
2 votes:
Creamy is for kids school lunches.

Chunky is for grown men/women.
2013-02-15 05:50:04 PM  
2 votes:
Thems fightin' words, subby.  Next you'll be telling me that grape kool-aid is better than fruit punch when fruit punch is clearly the superior flavor.
2013-02-15 05:48:21 PM  
2 votes:

bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.


Only a real man knows how to effectively spread chunky
2013-02-15 05:45:55 PM  
2 votes:
You probably eat Peter Pan on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, subby. You are what's wrong with America.

/Kroger natural crunchy is best peanut butter, hands down. Smucker's natural crunchy in a pinch. Hydrogenated peanut butter is poisonous and doesn't taste as good; stir the crap up, you lazy farks.
2013-02-15 05:45:43 PM  
2 votes:
11/10 <b>submitter</b>

Such a simple, blatant fallacy, hooking in so many. Classic troll.
2013-02-15 05:42:47 PM  
2 votes:
I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky
2013-02-15 05:31:15 PM  
2 votes:
I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.

/Creamy rulez, chunky blows.
2013-02-15 05:23:33 PM  
2 votes:
Lies!  Lies and blasphemy.  Heresy, even.
2013-02-15 05:20:50 PM  
2 votes:
I like my peanut butter how I like my women - tan, creamy and easily spreadable.
2013-02-15 05:15:57 PM  
2 votes:
Now *that's* the kind of high-quality information we need on the internet.  Well done, subby, and well done to the author of this article.  Finally, the issue has been put to rest.
2013-02-15 04:43:47 PM  
2 votes:
Freaks.
2013-02-16 02:01:15 PM  
1 votes:

jakepowers: Creamy peanut butter is an ungodly abomination.


So is Justin Beiber.
2013-02-16 12:10:33 PM  
1 votes:
Creamy peanut butter is an ungodly abomination.
2013-02-16 10:27:16 AM  
1 votes:
This thread is delicious. I want to buy a jar of separated PB now and drink the oil from the top.

My ex Father in Law used to eat smooth with a fork, I don't know what the hell that was about, because everyone knows that you eat PB from the jar with a spoon or knife, NEVER a fork. That asininity did help me decided chunky is best.
2013-02-16 07:53:44 AM  
1 votes:
[catandyarn.jpg]
I love this thread so much.
/homemade, slightly crunchy peanut for me, still warm from the food processor
2013-02-16 07:21:38 AM  
1 votes:
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
2013-02-16 05:45:17 AM  
1 votes:
You lie subby
2013-02-16 12:48:44 AM  
1 votes:
Chunky peanut butter is better because it's got chunky peanuts in it, and creamy peanut butter doesn't have chunky peanuts in it.

What now?

You can't argue with logic!
2013-02-16 12:43:02 AM  
1 votes:
Subby probably puts the toilet paper roll on backwards too.


DOWN THE FRONT MOFO'S OR YOU HATE AMERICA!!!
2013-02-16 12:29:20 AM  
1 votes:
i1185.photobucket.com
2013-02-15 11:53:09 PM  
1 votes:

lewismarktwo: [i.imgur.com image 400x400]
http://i.imgur.com/OERKS.jpg


This, but the chunky goes first.
2013-02-15 11:27:30 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-02-15 11:02:07 PM  
1 votes:
For those that buy "real" peanut butter...

Buy an extra jar of peanut butter, each time, and store it upside down in the pantry. By the time you need it (smoove er chunkie) the oil is at the bottom of the jar. Which is now up.

Open it up and stir, and you get great peanut butter with less mess. Because the oil rises from the "bottom", which was the "top".

/lifehack
2013-02-15 09:52:16 PM  
1 votes:
i171.photobucket.com

WRONG!
2013-02-15 09:47:44 PM  
1 votes:
The kind of person that prefers creamy pb over chunky probably likes puffy cheetos over crunchy. There's something wrong with you people.
2013-02-15 08:32:37 PM  
1 votes:
So late to this thread it doesn't matter but really, it was done in the boobies.
2013-02-15 08:26:54 PM  
1 votes:
I grew up on chunky, so that's all I really know.
2013-02-15 08:23:11 PM  
1 votes:

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


Is subby a particularly evil troll or truly demented?  These are the kinds of questions we may never have an answer to.
2013-02-15 08:20:14 PM  
1 votes:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-02-15 08:18:17 PM  
1 votes:
i30.photobucket.com
2013-02-15 08:17:27 PM  
1 votes:
Smooth peanut butter is fine for those who like missionary position vanilla sex, women who wear sensible shoes and those who prefer to drive automatic transmissions. To sum it up, you're dead inside. The jokes you tell are horribly dated and you've had the same hair cut you had in HS. Enjoy your family vacations, your safe low yield investment vehicles and your HOV lifestyle. You're dead but too stupid to lie down and be quiet.

Chunky peanut butter lovers run faster, jump higher, get better grades and are overall pleasant to look at. They exude charm and confidence. They vacation with models at Hedonism. Their clothes are of a better quality and fit well, their cologne smells good and they go mouth to ass on a first date. Face it: chunky peanut butter people are better than you, and you wish you could be one of them.

/ I'm so chunky it hurts
2013-02-15 08:13:28 PM  
1 votes:
Subby lies. Why do you lie Subby? Why can't you stop lies from flying out your lie-hole?
2013-02-15 08:05:36 PM  
1 votes:
fark YOUR MOTHER, SUBMITTER
2013-02-15 08:02:52 PM  
1 votes:

amquelbettamin: Forget about the butter. What is the tastiest strain of peanut?


Salted Virginia peanuts in a tin.  There are many brands, but it must be in a tin to preserve the crunch.
2013-02-15 07:36:40 PM  
1 votes:
I will farking kill you,  Subby.

Extra crunchy. Jif. End of conversation. This is non-negotiable.
2013-02-15 07:35:48 PM  
1 votes:
I will have to chime in on this since a peanut butter sandwich is the key part of my lunch approximately 360 days a year.  Best is Smucker's Natural Chunky, just a bit pricey to have it too often, and it is more labor intensive to prepare.  Most of the time I have Skippy Extra Chunky and Planters Chunky is good too.  Oh what the heck, almost all peanut butter is good, even the smooth stuff
2013-02-15 07:33:28 PM  
1 votes:
This headline is a perfect example of an untruth.
2013-02-15 07:32:56 PM  
1 votes:
Creamy's for idiots, wimps, people who don't have the necessary hardware to chew, and most especially, idiotic wimps who don't have the necessary hardware to chew. If you lost all your teeth to meth, you're a creamy kinda person.

Chunky is for grownups and people of taste.

And Skippy Super Chunk is for real men (and their attractive womenfolk).
2013-02-15 07:30:20 PM  
1 votes:

Ironclad2: [dl.dropbox.com image 640x324]


Submitter is welcome to blow my balls.
2013-02-15 07:24:41 PM  
1 votes:

Flragnararch: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x250]  [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x343]

[www.rawlife.com image 271x320] [bestnaturalfoods.com image 140x230]
[www.donloree.com image 224x300]

Motherfarkers


Pistachio... butter...?

I'm experiencing the want-iest want I ever wanted.
2013-02-15 07:18:04 PM  
1 votes:

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.



THIS ^^^^

They probably like Jif too.
2013-02-15 07:09:01 PM  
1 votes:
Extra crunchy makes the best doo doo drop cookies.  I like both tho. Answer me this: Why is chunky so much more expensive?  Because it has real peanuts in it.
2013-02-15 07:03:23 PM  
1 votes:
Chunky PB and Mayo sandwiches rule.
2013-02-15 06:59:45 PM  
1 votes:

milsorgen: queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.

It maybe "lazy" but I'll tell you what else chunky is... Chunky is a peanut butter that knows where it came from. Chunky is a peanut butter, that while perhaps a little rough around the edges, has character and nuance that smooth will never know. Call it lazy, call it rough, call it wrong... but I'll be damned if I stand aside while you call it less than Smooth.


Anyone who'd ever ground their own peanut butter can tell you, the only way to make chunky is to add chopped peanuts into the already ground peanut butter. It's not lazy, it's adding an extra step to do the job right.
2013-02-15 06:51:22 PM  
1 votes:

PainInTheASP: I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.


Ur doing it wrong.
2013-02-15 06:41:15 PM  
1 votes:

Gough: Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.

"Just Peanuts" when I'm in Canada, Adams in the US.  Chunky of course.


We have Adams here in Canada as well, but it costs 1-2 dollars more than an equivalent brand that is Just Peanuts. Sure is delicious though.
2013-02-15 06:34:12 PM  
1 votes:

Fark Dupp: whyaduck: Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.


Mmmm.............Hydrox dipped in chunky peanut butter.


Awesome post. +1
2013-02-15 06:33:21 PM  
1 votes:

Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.


"Just Peanuts" when I'm in Canada, Adams in the US.  Chunky of course.
2013-02-15 06:30:05 PM  
1 votes:

Flragnararch: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x250]  [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x343]

[www.rawlife.com image 271x320] [bestnaturalfoods.com image 140x230]
[www.donloree.com image 224x300]

Motherfarkers


Oh good, someone both sides can laugh at.  Go back to your treehouse, hippie.  Chunky peanut butter is only peanut butter.
2013-02-15 06:29:20 PM  
1 votes:

whyaduck: Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.



Mmmm.............Hydrox dipped in chunky peanut butter.
2013-02-15 06:27:04 PM  
1 votes:

TinyFist: Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.

Haven't you read Farks TOS? You better check that rational/ reasonable garbage at the door before waltzing in with your laissez faire attitude. This is a Fark food thread, some of us (Chunky lovers) are right, and the other side is full of despicable scum.

You'd better pick a side, dammit. And if it's over there with those "creamy" wimps, well, prepare to be abused and ridiculed by some random dude in an internet forum. IT'S WHAT WE DO!!!!


Ok, I get it. I get it.

Shakes *TinyFist* at the creamy lovers.
2013-02-15 06:26:51 PM  
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org  1.bp.blogspot.com

www.rawlife.com bestnaturalfoods.com
www.donloree.com

Motherfarkers
2013-02-15 06:23:30 PM  
1 votes:

Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.


Haven't you read Farks TOS? You better check that rational/ reasonable garbage at the door before waltzing in with your laissez faire attitude. This is a Fark food thread, some of us (Chunky lovers) are right, and the other side is full of despicable scum.

You'd better pick a side, dammit. And if it's over there with those "creamy" wimps, well, prepare to be abused and ridiculed by some random dude in an internet forum. IT'S WHAT WE DO!!!!
2013-02-15 06:19:45 PM  
1 votes:

Land Ark: but there is no joking about using anything other than a Martin's potato bun


Ha! They're all I buy.

/chunky fan
2013-02-15 06:17:55 PM  
1 votes:

queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.


It maybe "lazy" but I'll tell you what else chunky is... Chunky is a peanut butter that knows where it came from. Chunky is a peanut butter, that while perhaps a little rough around the edges, has character and nuance that smooth will never know. Call it lazy, call it rough, call it wrong... but I'll be damned if I stand aside while you call it less than Smooth.
2013-02-15 06:17:26 PM  
1 votes:
Chunky all the way biatches.
2013-02-15 06:03:35 PM  
1 votes:
You can say what you want about me...but I'll be damned if  I'm going to stand here while you talk about chunky peanut butter.

Planters Chunky for the mother effin win.
2013-02-15 06:02:26 PM  
1 votes:
Done in one.

This is patently wrong.
EXTRA Crunchy, and then add honey-roated peanuts to that.
2013-02-15 06:01:52 PM  
1 votes:
The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.
2013-02-15 06:01:16 PM  
1 votes:
You automatically invalidate any opinion you have on food when you make the statement "creamy is best, chunky is inferior" in regards to peanut butter.

Subby fails; food writer should get a job writing about something she actually knows about.
2013-02-15 06:01:15 PM  
1 votes:
dl.dropbox.com
2013-02-15 05:56:04 PM  
1 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Consuming more calories than you burn makes you fat.
2013-02-15 05:55:44 PM  
1 votes:
Yes.  Yes, it is.
2013-02-15 05:54:15 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe if you have no teeth...

Crunchy IS the best peanut butter.. EVER.
2013-02-15 05:52:58 PM  
1 votes:

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.


Damn straight. I prefer chunky, still, but it's nearly impossible to find anywhere near me.
2013-02-15 05:52:50 PM  
1 votes:
This is the third food thread today people have been stupid.

Stop being stupid.  The only thing better than chunky is pulling a nice peanut chunk out between your molars three hours later.  rechunky.  It's the best peanut butter.
2013-02-15 05:48:38 PM  
1 votes:

laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss


fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat
2013-02-15 05:42:47 PM  
1 votes:
Go ahead and try to make decent peanut butter cookies out of chunky and then tell me it's better than creamy.

Mrs Crotchgrabber tried it once.

Once.
2013-02-15 05:17:56 PM  
1 votes:
When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.
2013-02-15 04:41:40 PM  
1 votes:
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
 
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