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(Foodbeast)   Creamy peanut butter is -- and always will be -- better than chunky   (foodbeast.com) divider line 246
    More: Amusing, Creamy  
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8381 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 5:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



246 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-15 05:54:13 PM  
I'm out of peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 05:54:15 PM  
Maybe if you have no teeth...

Crunchy IS the best peanut butter.. EVER.
 
2013-02-15 05:55:08 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women: Skippy.

/amidoinitright?
 
2013-02-15 05:55:30 PM  
Creamy is for kids school lunches.

Chunky is for grown men/women.
 
2013-02-15 05:55:44 PM  
Yes.  Yes, it is.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:04 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Consuming more calories than you burn makes you fat.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:21 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women: Peter Pan.

Huh.  I should reevaluate my standards for women.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:41 PM  
i411.photobucket.com
All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.
 
2013-02-15 05:57:47 PM  

Nabb1: When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.


This.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:12 PM  

JerseyTim: When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.


That sounds vaguely diuretic.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:36 PM  

WickerNipple: Meatschool: I don't get any of it anymore... kid is allergic.

Peanut Butter > Kids


Good point.  And now I have coke on my keyboard.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:56 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women:  Brown, generously salted, and ground into a fine paste.
 
2013-02-15 05:59:25 PM  
niketalk.com

Wrong!
 
2013-02-15 05:59:45 PM  
Chunky peanut butter is for savages.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:02 PM  
I now add raisins and granola and maybe oats to my pb. I think I'll try sliced almonds next with cinnamon.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:15 PM  
dl.dropbox.com
 
2013-02-15 06:01:16 PM  
You automatically invalidate any opinion you have on food when you make the statement "creamy is best, chunky is inferior" in regards to peanut butter.

Subby fails; food writer should get a job writing about something she actually knows about.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:16 PM  
You can have your smooth peanut butter. I am OK with that. However, I always prefer my milk chunky.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:21 PM  
...I like both.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:28 PM  
Creamy moms choose Jif
 
2013-02-15 06:01:48 PM  
Holy shiat, there are peanut butter nerds.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:52 PM  
The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.
 
2013-02-15 06:02:00 PM  
It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.
 
2013-02-15 06:02:26 PM  
Done in one.

This is patently wrong.
EXTRA Crunchy, and then add honey-roated peanuts to that.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:02 PM  
Who says the chunks are peanuts?
 
2013-02-15 06:03:03 PM  

mrlewish: I now add raisins and granola and maybe oats to my pb. I think I'll try sliced almonds next with cinnamon.


People like you could fark up a one car funeral.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:28 PM  

Cagey B: The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


heavily-iced scotch in a narrow lipped coffee cup.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:35 PM  
You can say what you want about me...but I'll be damned if  I'm going to stand here while you talk about chunky peanut butter.

Planters Chunky for the mother effin win.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:39 PM  
SMOOTH!

25.media.tumblr.com

CHUNKAY!

a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

/Oh, it's on
 
2013-02-15 06:04:01 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Yeah, fat gives you heart attacks, sugar makes you fat.
 
2013-02-15 06:04:02 PM  
Dogs lick creamy,chew chunky.
Ergo,creamy is safer.
 
2013-02-15 06:04:12 PM  
This is a more valid argument than try to make idiots understand that strawberry jelly is the one true jelly and that grape jelly is an abomination.
 
2013-02-15 06:05:19 PM  

JerseyTim: [i411.photobucket.com image 202x320]
All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.


That sounds more like a product that gets shot out of Tub Girl than it does like something I would purchase and ingest.
 
2013-02-15 06:05:43 PM  
<WhatAmIReading.jpg>
 
2013-02-15 06:06:42 PM  

gadian: Cagey B: The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.

heavily-iced scotch in a narrow lipped coffee cup.


...and Russian dressing for the salad.
 
2013-02-15 06:07:46 PM  
And kudos to subby for getting a lively discussion started, +10 Internets to you!
 
2013-02-15 06:07:52 PM  
I prefer to avoid the whole hornets nest entirely.  I'll stick with plain white bread, thank you very much.  Maybe with a glass of water on the side for dippin'.
 
2013-02-15 06:14:46 PM  
homepages.theonion.com
 
2013-02-15 06:15:08 PM  

Cagey B: It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


What about the Mountain Dew? You need to have some Mountain Dew to mix in with the scotch.
 
2013-02-15 06:15:09 PM  

Land Ark: This is a more valid argument than try to make idiots understand that strawberry jelly is the one true jelly and that grape jelly is an abomination.


I went through the drive thru at Popeyes one time and asked for some strawberry jelly to go with my biscuit, and the employee looked visibly disturbed, she asked me and I quote "Why you won't grape jam?" I told her I dont like grape, she just gave me "you crackers are crazy" look and gave me a couple of strawberry jellys and I went on my way.

/One more vote for smooth peanut butter
 
2013-02-15 06:15:24 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-02-15 06:16:29 PM  

Cagey B: It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


I didn't even know Heinz made a 57 sauce.  So it's like A1, but a lot more so?  56 more?
 
2013-02-15 06:17:18 PM  
How sad is your website when it aspires to be BuzzFeed?
 
2013-02-15 06:17:26 PM  
Chunky all the way biatches.
 
2013-02-15 06:17:55 PM  

queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.


It maybe "lazy" but I'll tell you what else chunky is... Chunky is a peanut butter that knows where it came from. Chunky is a peanut butter, that while perhaps a little rough around the edges, has character and nuance that smooth will never know. Call it lazy, call it rough, call it wrong... but I'll be damned if I stand aside while you call it less than Smooth.
 
2013-02-15 06:18:39 PM  

Paka Ono: [niketalk.com image 200x150]

Wrong!


You should see Charlie Murphy talking about the government peanut butter he used to get when he was a kid. He talks about how it tore up the bread because it was really hard to spread because it was so thick. He noted that he didnt learn about adding oil to it to make it smooth like Skippy unitl he went in the Navy. Its on youtube somewhere. It looks like a screen test interview but its pretty funny.
 
2013-02-15 06:19:45 PM  

Land Ark: but there is no joking about using anything other than a Martin's potato bun


Ha! They're all I buy.

/chunky fan
 
2013-02-15 06:21:24 PM  
Anything other than freshly-ground almond butter is not acceptable.
 
2013-02-15 06:23:04 PM  
The mere fact that you call making love "sexy times" tells me that you're not ready.
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 06:23:22 PM  

mbillips: You probably eat Peter Pan on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, subby. You are what's wrong with America.

/Kroger natural crunchy is best peanut butter, hands down. Smucker's natural crunchy in a pinch. Hydrogenated peanut butter is poisonous and doesn't taste as good; stir the crap up, you lazy farks.


It's like a layer of clay, then a layer of quicksand with oil on top. You try to stir it, oil everywhere. Screw that. I'm happy with either chunky or smooth, but it MUST be hydrogenated.
 
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