Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Foodbeast)   Creamy peanut butter is -- and always will be -- better than chunky   (foodbeast.com) divider line 246
    More: Amusing, Creamy  
•       •       •

8381 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 5:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



246 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-15 04:34:09 PM  
Wrong.
 
2013-02-15 04:34:45 PM  
It is known.
 
2013-02-15 04:36:17 PM  
Blasphemer!
 
2013-02-15 04:41:40 PM  
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
 
2013-02-15 04:43:47 PM  
Freaks.
 
2013-02-15 04:48:55 PM  
Wrong!  Wrong!  Brimming over with wrongability!
 
2013-02-15 05:01:03 PM  
Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 05:07:06 PM  
You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.
 
2013-02-15 05:11:22 PM  
liar.
 
2013-02-15 05:15:57 PM  
Now *that's* the kind of high-quality information we need on the internet.  Well done, subby, and well done to the author of this article.  Finally, the issue has been put to rest.
 
2013-02-15 05:17:56 PM  
When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.
 
2013-02-15 05:20:50 PM  
I like my peanut butter how I like my women - tan, creamy and easily spreadable.
 
2013-02-15 05:23:33 PM  
Lies!  Lies and blasphemy.  Heresy, even.
 
2013-02-15 05:27:33 PM  
All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.
 
2013-02-15 05:31:15 PM  
I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.

/Creamy rulez, chunky blows.
 
2013-02-15 05:32:28 PM  

Nabb1: When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.


I don't know, but I'm guessing that the increasing popularity of chunky peanut butter correlates exactly with the decline in America's moral standards.  This used to be a great nation, dammit.  I'm not saying chunky peanut butter was the *cause* of us losing our way, but it very well might be a symptom.
 
2013-02-15 05:34:04 PM  
false. chunky is preferable is all applications
 
2013-02-15 05:42:07 PM  
I don't get any of it anymore... kid is allergic.
 
2013-02-15 05:42:47 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky
 
2013-02-15 05:42:47 PM  
Go ahead and try to make decent peanut butter cookies out of chunky and then tell me it's better than creamy.

Mrs Crotchgrabber tried it once.

Once.
 
2013-02-15 05:43:48 PM  

crotchgrabber: Go ahead and try to make decent peanut butter cookies out of chunky and then tell me it's better than creamy.

Mrs Crotchgrabber tried it once.

Once.


and then you grabbed her crotch?
 
2013-02-15 05:43:59 PM  
I call bullshiat, chunky is way better
 
2013-02-15 05:44:26 PM  
mobmg.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 05:45:43 PM  
11/10 <b>submitter</b>

Such a simple, blatant fallacy, hooking in so many. Classic troll.
 
2013-02-15 05:45:43 PM  

Meatschool: I don't get any of it anymore... kid is allergic.


Peanut Butter > Kids
 
2013-02-15 05:45:55 PM  
You probably eat Peter Pan on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, subby. You are what's wrong with America.

/Kroger natural crunchy is best peanut butter, hands down. Smucker's natural crunchy in a pinch. Hydrogenated peanut butter is poisonous and doesn't taste as good; stir the crap up, you lazy farks.
 
2013-02-15 05:46:25 PM  

p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky


I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.
 
2013-02-15 05:46:42 PM  
Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss
 
2013-02-15 05:46:43 PM  
Can we at least agree that fat free peanut butter is bullshiat?
 
2013-02-15 05:47:08 PM  
Eating a spoonful of chunky is one of the most satisfying snacks known to man. A spoonful of creamy pb is, well, just Borneo g and stupid.
Chunky rules!
 
2013-02-15 05:47:15 PM  

some_beer_drinker: false. chunky is preferable is all applications


Ever hump a jar of chunky?

Yeah, didn't think so.
 
2013-02-15 05:48:21 PM  

bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.


Only a real man knows how to effectively spread chunky
 
2013-02-15 05:48:36 PM  
Chunky.

/Peanut butter and banana sandwiches; yum.
 
2013-02-15 05:48:38 PM  

laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss


fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat
 
2013-02-15 05:48:49 PM  

bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.


I like my peanut butter like I like my women....

sealed in plastic containers.
 
2013-02-15 05:49:02 PM  
Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to get peanut chunks removed from your urethra?
 
2013-02-15 05:50:04 PM  
Thems fightin' words, subby.  Next you'll be telling me that grape kool-aid is better than fruit punch when fruit punch is clearly the superior flavor.
 
2013-02-15 05:50:15 PM  
Chunky peanut butter isn't even peanut butter.  It's a farking inferior product sold to dupes at inflated prices because they couldn't afford to finish the grind.  It's sort of like "New York style" pizza in that regard.
 
2013-02-15 05:50:16 PM  
Creamy on non-toasted bread, chunky on toast.
 
2013-02-15 05:50:30 PM  
And when it comes to sexy times, you just know it'd be a lot gentler than chunky would, in all the right ways.

Combining food with sex cancels the "automatically right" vibe you're going for unless yeast infections or dogs turn you on.
 
2013-02-15 05:50:56 PM  
Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.
 
2013-02-15 05:51:04 PM  

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


I'm reading this while eating a turkey dog with ketchup and american cheese so I'm getting a kick.

/but there is no joking about using anything other than a Martin's potato bun
 
2013-02-15 05:51:28 PM  

WickerNipple: Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to get peanut chunks removed from your urethra?


Yes, yes I do.
 
2013-02-15 05:51:58 PM  
I'll eat chunky in a pinch.
 
2013-02-15 05:52:16 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-15 05:52:50 PM  
This is the third food thread today people have been stupid.

Stop being stupid.  The only thing better than chunky is pulling a nice peanut chunk out between your molars three hours later.  rechunky.  It's the best peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 05:52:58 PM  

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.


Damn straight. I prefer chunky, still, but it's nearly impossible to find anywhere near me.
 
2013-02-15 05:53:23 PM  
This belongs on TFD! I need TF. Poor.

/pb and crackers..
 
2013-02-15 05:54:02 PM  
Just a tip: you don't want to use chunky while tossing a salad.  You are always left with this shadow of a doubt.
 
2013-02-15 05:54:08 PM  

PainInTheASP: I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.



That's user error.
 
2013-02-15 05:54:13 PM  
I'm out of peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 05:54:15 PM  
Maybe if you have no teeth...

Crunchy IS the best peanut butter.. EVER.
 
2013-02-15 05:55:08 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women: Skippy.

/amidoinitright?
 
2013-02-15 05:55:30 PM  
Creamy is for kids school lunches.

Chunky is for grown men/women.
 
2013-02-15 05:55:44 PM  
Yes.  Yes, it is.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:04 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Consuming more calories than you burn makes you fat.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:21 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women: Peter Pan.

Huh.  I should reevaluate my standards for women.
 
2013-02-15 05:56:41 PM  
i411.photobucket.com
All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.
 
2013-02-15 05:57:47 PM  

Nabb1: When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.


This.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:12 PM  

JerseyTim: When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.


That sounds vaguely diuretic.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:36 PM  

WickerNipple: Meatschool: I don't get any of it anymore... kid is allergic.

Peanut Butter > Kids


Good point.  And now I have coke on my keyboard.
 
2013-02-15 05:58:56 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women:  Brown, generously salted, and ground into a fine paste.
 
2013-02-15 05:59:25 PM  
niketalk.com

Wrong!
 
2013-02-15 05:59:45 PM  
Chunky peanut butter is for savages.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:02 PM  
I now add raisins and granola and maybe oats to my pb. I think I'll try sliced almonds next with cinnamon.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:15 PM  
dl.dropbox.com
 
2013-02-15 06:01:16 PM  
You automatically invalidate any opinion you have on food when you make the statement "creamy is best, chunky is inferior" in regards to peanut butter.

Subby fails; food writer should get a job writing about something she actually knows about.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:16 PM  
You can have your smooth peanut butter. I am OK with that. However, I always prefer my milk chunky.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:21 PM  
...I like both.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:28 PM  
Creamy moms choose Jif
 
2013-02-15 06:01:48 PM  
Holy shiat, there are peanut butter nerds.
 
2013-02-15 06:01:52 PM  
The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.
 
2013-02-15 06:02:00 PM  
It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.
 
2013-02-15 06:02:26 PM  
Done in one.

This is patently wrong.
EXTRA Crunchy, and then add honey-roated peanuts to that.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:02 PM  
Who says the chunks are peanuts?
 
2013-02-15 06:03:03 PM  

mrlewish: I now add raisins and granola and maybe oats to my pb. I think I'll try sliced almonds next with cinnamon.


People like you could fark up a one car funeral.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:28 PM  

Cagey B: The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


heavily-iced scotch in a narrow lipped coffee cup.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:35 PM  
You can say what you want about me...but I'll be damned if  I'm going to stand here while you talk about chunky peanut butter.

Planters Chunky for the mother effin win.
 
2013-02-15 06:03:39 PM  
SMOOTH!

25.media.tumblr.com

CHUNKAY!

a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

/Oh, it's on
 
2013-02-15 06:04:01 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Yeah, fat gives you heart attacks, sugar makes you fat.
 
2013-02-15 06:04:02 PM  
Dogs lick creamy,chew chunky.
Ergo,creamy is safer.
 
2013-02-15 06:04:12 PM  
This is a more valid argument than try to make idiots understand that strawberry jelly is the one true jelly and that grape jelly is an abomination.
 
2013-02-15 06:05:19 PM  

JerseyTim: [i411.photobucket.com image 202x320]
All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.


That sounds more like a product that gets shot out of Tub Girl than it does like something I would purchase and ingest.
 
2013-02-15 06:05:43 PM  
<WhatAmIReading.jpg>
 
2013-02-15 06:06:42 PM  

gadian: Cagey B: The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.

heavily-iced scotch in a narrow lipped coffee cup.


...and Russian dressing for the salad.
 
2013-02-15 06:07:46 PM  
And kudos to subby for getting a lively discussion started, +10 Internets to you!
 
2013-02-15 06:07:52 PM  
I prefer to avoid the whole hornets nest entirely.  I'll stick with plain white bread, thank you very much.  Maybe with a glass of water on the side for dippin'.
 
2013-02-15 06:14:46 PM  
homepages.theonion.com
 
2013-02-15 06:15:08 PM  

Cagey B: It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


What about the Mountain Dew? You need to have some Mountain Dew to mix in with the scotch.
 
2013-02-15 06:15:09 PM  

Land Ark: This is a more valid argument than try to make idiots understand that strawberry jelly is the one true jelly and that grape jelly is an abomination.


I went through the drive thru at Popeyes one time and asked for some strawberry jelly to go with my biscuit, and the employee looked visibly disturbed, she asked me and I quote "Why you won't grape jam?" I told her I dont like grape, she just gave me "you crackers are crazy" look and gave me a couple of strawberry jellys and I went on my way.

/One more vote for smooth peanut butter
 
2013-02-15 06:15:24 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-02-15 06:16:29 PM  

Cagey B: It's funny how you're all pretending like the best peanut butter isn't that Goober Grape stuff that comes pre-mixed with jelly. I like to have some on its own as an appetizer sometimes.

The main event, of course, is the well-done porterhouse steak, smothered in Heinz 57 sauce, which I like to wash down with a heavily-iced scotch.


I didn't even know Heinz made a 57 sauce.  So it's like A1, but a lot more so?  56 more?
 
2013-02-15 06:17:18 PM  
How sad is your website when it aspires to be BuzzFeed?
 
2013-02-15 06:17:26 PM  
Chunky all the way biatches.
 
2013-02-15 06:17:55 PM  

queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.


It maybe "lazy" but I'll tell you what else chunky is... Chunky is a peanut butter that knows where it came from. Chunky is a peanut butter, that while perhaps a little rough around the edges, has character and nuance that smooth will never know. Call it lazy, call it rough, call it wrong... but I'll be damned if I stand aside while you call it less than Smooth.
 
2013-02-15 06:18:39 PM  

Paka Ono: [niketalk.com image 200x150]

Wrong!


You should see Charlie Murphy talking about the government peanut butter he used to get when he was a kid. He talks about how it tore up the bread because it was really hard to spread because it was so thick. He noted that he didnt learn about adding oil to it to make it smooth like Skippy unitl he went in the Navy. Its on youtube somewhere. It looks like a screen test interview but its pretty funny.
 
2013-02-15 06:19:45 PM  

Land Ark: but there is no joking about using anything other than a Martin's potato bun


Ha! They're all I buy.

/chunky fan
 
2013-02-15 06:21:24 PM  
Anything other than freshly-ground almond butter is not acceptable.
 
2013-02-15 06:23:04 PM  
The mere fact that you call making love "sexy times" tells me that you're not ready.
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 06:23:22 PM  

mbillips: You probably eat Peter Pan on white bread with Welch's grape jelly, subby. You are what's wrong with America.

/Kroger natural crunchy is best peanut butter, hands down. Smucker's natural crunchy in a pinch. Hydrogenated peanut butter is poisonous and doesn't taste as good; stir the crap up, you lazy farks.


It's like a layer of clay, then a layer of quicksand with oil on top. You try to stir it, oil everywhere. Screw that. I'm happy with either chunky or smooth, but it MUST be hydrogenated.
 
2013-02-15 06:23:30 PM  

Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.


Haven't you read Farks TOS? You better check that rational/ reasonable garbage at the door before waltzing in with your laissez faire attitude. This is a Fark food thread, some of us (Chunky lovers) are right, and the other side is full of despicable scum.

You'd better pick a side, dammit. And if it's over there with those "creamy" wimps, well, prepare to be abused and ridiculed by some random dude in an internet forum. IT'S WHAT WE DO!!!!
 
2013-02-15 06:25:34 PM  

gadian: Thems fightin' words, subby.  Next you'll be telling me that grape kool-aid is better than fruit punch when fruit punch is clearly the superior flavor.


Ewww.. Fruit punch is my least favorite. Best flavors are cherry and ice-blue lemonade
 
2013-02-15 06:26:51 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org  1.bp.blogspot.com

www.rawlife.com bestnaturalfoods.com
www.donloree.com

Motherfarkers
 
2013-02-15 06:26:58 PM  
Chunky or else.

Also, peanuts, salt.  That's all that's allowed on the ingredients list.
 
2013-02-15 06:27:04 PM  

TinyFist: Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.

Haven't you read Farks TOS? You better check that rational/ reasonable garbage at the door before waltzing in with your laissez faire attitude. This is a Fark food thread, some of us (Chunky lovers) are right, and the other side is full of despicable scum.

You'd better pick a side, dammit. And if it's over there with those "creamy" wimps, well, prepare to be abused and ridiculed by some random dude in an internet forum. IT'S WHAT WE DO!!!!


Ok, I get it. I get it.

Shakes *TinyFist* at the creamy lovers.
 
2013-02-15 06:27:51 PM  
/yeah I went there
 
2013-02-15 06:29:20 PM  

whyaduck: Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.



Mmmm.............Hydrox dipped in chunky peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 06:29:24 PM  

ModernLuddite: bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.

I like my peanut butter like I like my women....

sealed in plastic containers.


I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

I won't get salmonella after eating it.
 
2013-02-15 06:30:05 PM  

Flragnararch: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x250]  [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x343]

[www.rawlife.com image 271x320] [bestnaturalfoods.com image 140x230]
[www.donloree.com image 224x300]

Motherfarkers


Oh good, someone both sides can laugh at.  Go back to your treehouse, hippie.  Chunky peanut butter is only peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 06:30:36 PM  
You are all wrong.

Partially defatted penut butter with tapioca syrup is far superior. Buy some from trader joes it's like eating a less sweet more smooth peanut butter cup without the chocolate

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-15 06:30:52 PM  
I like my peanut butter how I like my women...

In the butt.


/what what
 
2013-02-15 06:32:16 PM  

CowardlyLion: What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.


Has nothing to do with being a food purist. I like any number of tasty things on my hot dogs. But ketchup is not one of them. It's just awful. It's too sweet and it mixes with the bun to make an ungodly layer of pinkish mush. Blech. Hot dogs have a unique flavor that needs to be complemented with vinegary, savory things, not covered up with some syrupy tomato mess.

Go ahead and ruin your hot dog with ketchup if you like, but I'm going to assume you have the unrefined palate of an 8-year-old.
 
2013-02-15 06:32:44 PM  

tortilla burger: I like my peanut butter how I like my women...

In the butt.


/what what


I like PB like I like my women: in the kitchen.
 
2013-02-15 06:33:21 PM  

Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.


"Just Peanuts" when I'm in Canada, Adams in the US.  Chunky of course.
 
2013-02-15 06:34:12 PM  

Fark Dupp: whyaduck: Nabb1: ... and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.


Mmmm.............Hydrox dipped in chunky peanut butter.


Awesome post. +1
 
2013-02-15 06:34:34 PM  
we only buy creamy peanut butter, but i crumble planters peanuts on top.  its even better than crunchy peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 06:34:52 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-15 06:39:42 PM  

JerseyTim: All other peanut butter is bullshiat.

When you mix it, it's so creamy that you could pout it over a sundae like fudge.


Wonder if this is the brand of "explosive" peanut butter that guy was trying to get through the TSA?
 
2013-02-15 06:41:15 PM  

Gough: Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.

"Just Peanuts" when I'm in Canada, Adams in the US.  Chunky of course.


We have Adams here in Canada as well, but it costs 1-2 dollars more than an equivalent brand that is Just Peanuts. Sure is delicious though.
 
2013-02-15 06:42:36 PM  
My ex-wife tried the chunky to see if she likes it better than creamy.
She said the chunks could be painful.
And the dog didn't seem to go for as much either.
 
2013-02-15 06:42:58 PM  

whyaduck: What the ...? Hydrox were superior in every way to those lard-filled Oreos. And chunky peanut butter is the bees knees.


That stuff in oreos isn't lard. It's sugary crisco.
 
2013-02-15 06:43:28 PM  

katerbug72: Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat

Yeah, fat gives you heart attacks, sugar makes you fat.


Isn't peanut oil a non-saturated fat though? Ie healthy fat?
 
2013-02-15 06:45:07 PM  
ct.mywebgrocer.com

Giant Eagle Creamy Peanut Butter ... this is honestly the best stuff I've ever had.
 
2013-02-15 06:51:22 PM  

PainInTheASP: I think I'd like chunky PB a lot better if it didn't leave potholes on the bread every time I spread it on.


Ur doing it wrong.
 
2013-02-15 06:56:40 PM  
I used to prefer chunky.  Then I got married to a creamy woman (in more ways than one, lemmetellya) and went for years with that.  Then one day I said farkitall, I'm getting a jar of chunky.  And it hurt!  The chunks are so much bigger than in my youth, and they're all labeled like "Super Chunky."  What ever happened to "Moderately Chunky?"  They went Xtreme Chunky on me, and I just want the li'l extra crunch.
 
2013-02-15 06:57:24 PM  
I like to chew up local peanuts and spit the resulting paste all over my local-baked artisanal bread.
 
2013-02-15 06:59:45 PM  

milsorgen: queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.

It maybe "lazy" but I'll tell you what else chunky is... Chunky is a peanut butter that knows where it came from. Chunky is a peanut butter, that while perhaps a little rough around the edges, has character and nuance that smooth will never know. Call it lazy, call it rough, call it wrong... but I'll be damned if I stand aside while you call it less than Smooth.


Anyone who'd ever ground their own peanut butter can tell you, the only way to make chunky is to add chopped peanuts into the already ground peanut butter. It's not lazy, it's adding an extra step to do the job right.
 
2013-02-15 06:59:50 PM  
I get all the texture I need in my creamy-peanut-butter-and-sweet-pickle-relish sandwiches. They're delicious.
 
2013-02-15 07:03:23 PM  
Chunky PB and Mayo sandwiches rule.
 
2013-02-15 07:04:38 PM  

skinnycatullus: CowardlyLion: What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

Has nothing to do with being a food purist. I like any number of tasty things on my hot dogs. But ketchup is not one of them. It's just awful. It's too sweet and it mixes with the bun to make an ungodly layer of pinkish mush. Blech. Hot dogs have a unique flavor that needs to be complemented with vinegary, savory things, not covered up with some syrupy tomato mess.

Go ahead and ruin your hot dog with ketchup if you like, but I'm going to assume you have the unrefined palate of an 8-year-old.


What brand of ketchup are you referring to? ...and how much? It sounds like you're thinking of "putting ketchup on a hot dog" as "allowing a hot dog to bathe itself in a bun filled with Hunts (horrible, sugar-tastic) ketchup", which sounds awful. If/when I put ketchup on hot dogs (relatively rare if there is chili and onions to be used), it's a thin stripe of Heinz on the dog itself (and still usually put some onion, mustard, and/or nutritional yeast sauce on it, if available). It also depends on the dog (what meat is it, how's it on its own) and bun.

Are the majority of ketchup consumers children who use it as a beverage or only know how to drown their food in it and I'm in some kind of strange minority?
 
2013-02-15 07:06:35 PM  
Didn't read the thread but I don't see how anyone could possible disagree. Good job TFA.
 
2013-02-15 07:06:41 PM  

CowardlyLion: Are the majority of ketchup consumers children who use it as a beverage or only know how to drown their food in it and I'm in some kind of strange minority?


you sound fat, or something.

/That shiat'll kill ya.
 
2013-02-15 07:06:54 PM  
Mrs. loaba and I were at the store one time when I reached for a jar of Creamy Peter Pan. Mrs. loaba said "no way, Jose" and insisted on Extra Crunchy Jif. Me and Lil' loaba were kinda upset but I let it go. *Pick your battles, right?

* /Mrs. loaba tried that veto shiat again when I selected a jar of Smucker's Strawberry jam. I wasn't having any of that crap, so it stayed in the basket. You gotta stand up for the important stuff and fight the tyranny, man.
 
2013-02-15 07:09:01 PM  
Extra crunchy makes the best doo doo drop cookies.  I like both tho. Answer me this: Why is chunky so much more expensive?  Because it has real peanuts in it.
 
2013-02-15 07:09:21 PM  
The hell you say.
 
2013-02-15 07:10:17 PM  
Either kind is disgusting.
 
2013-02-15 07:10:27 PM  
This comes in creamy and chunky. Either way it is freaking awesome.
www.peterpanpb.com
 
2013-02-15 07:12:06 PM  

lewismarktwo: Extra crunchy makes the best doo doo drop cookies.  I like both tho. Answer me this: Why is chunky so much more expensive?  Because it has real peanuts in it.


So does this:

3.bp.blogspot.com

/Comes in chunky, too
//Sugar in peanut butter is stupid
 
2013-02-15 07:15:49 PM  
I'm gonna crumb!
 
2013-02-15 07:18:04 PM  

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.



THIS ^^^^

They probably like Jif too.
 
2013-02-15 07:19:13 PM  
I like my peanut butter like I like my women. Horny and desperate.
 
2013-02-15 07:23:27 PM  
I'm a Dapper Dan Peter Pan Man!
 
2013-02-15 07:24:32 PM  

My mother raised me to believe that chunky peanut butter was only for the poor negro folk on the south-side of town, on the "other side of the tracks".

So

CREAMY for the WIN!!!!
 
2013-02-15 07:24:41 PM  

Flragnararch: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x250]  [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x343]

[www.rawlife.com image 271x320] [bestnaturalfoods.com image 140x230]
[www.donloree.com image 224x300]

Motherfarkers


Pistachio... butter...?

I'm experiencing the want-iest want I ever wanted.
 
2013-02-15 07:24:47 PM  

CowardlyLion: skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.

What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.


Ketchup is for children, they probably use thousand island dressing on salad too.

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.

Damn straight. I prefer chunky, still, but it's nearly impossible to find anywhere near me.


Where do you live that you can't find chunky peanut butter at the grocery store?
 
2013-02-15 07:24:55 PM  

ArtosRC: ...I like both.


Way to piss everybody off.
 
2013-02-15 07:26:26 PM  
media.fooducate.com

Oh yeeeeaaa... fark all you other spreads!

/comes in chunky too
 
2013-02-15 07:26:59 PM  
Creamy is more likely to give me heartburn nowadays, but it's definitely better in baked goods like peanut butter cookies.
 
2013-02-15 07:30:20 PM  

Ironclad2: [dl.dropbox.com image 640x324]


Submitter is welcome to blow my balls.
 
2013-02-15 07:32:56 PM  
Creamy's for idiots, wimps, people who don't have the necessary hardware to chew, and most especially, idiotic wimps who don't have the necessary hardware to chew. If you lost all your teeth to meth, you're a creamy kinda person.

Chunky is for grownups and people of taste.

And Skippy Super Chunk is for real men (and their attractive womenfolk).
 
2013-02-15 07:33:16 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Ironclad2: [dl.dropbox.com image 640x324]

Submitter is welcome to blow my balls.


Are they smooth or chunky?
 
2013-02-15 07:33:28 PM  
This headline is a perfect example of an untruth.
 
2013-02-15 07:35:48 PM  
I will have to chime in on this since a peanut butter sandwich is the key part of my lunch approximately 360 days a year.  Best is Smucker's Natural Chunky, just a bit pricey to have it too often, and it is more labor intensive to prepare.  Most of the time I have Skippy Extra Chunky and Planters Chunky is good too.  Oh what the heck, almost all peanut butter is good, even the smooth stuff
 
2013-02-15 07:36:40 PM  
I will farking kill you,  Subby.

Extra crunchy. Jif. End of conversation. This is non-negotiable.
 
2013-02-15 07:37:22 PM  

ArtosRC: ...I like both.


PICK A SIDE AND STAY THERE, DAMMIT!
 
2013-02-15 07:39:36 PM  

Pappas: I will farking kill you,  Subby.

Extra crunchy. Jif. End of conversation. This is non-negotiable.


Honey, is that you?
 
2013-02-15 07:42:13 PM  
100% True. Pindakaas for the win.
 
2013-02-15 07:46:50 PM  
Which did Elvis prefer in his peanut butter and nanner sammiches?

I hate crunchy! When I was a little Onkel Buck I would stay with my grandma sometimes and she would make me peanut butter toast for breakfas. Between the peanut chunks and hard toast, by the end of the weekend the roof of my mouth all cut up like I had been gargling with Cap'n Crunch!
 
2013-02-15 07:51:58 PM  

AlanSmithee: I like my peanut butter like I like my women. Horny and desperate.

I like my peanut butter like I like my women. Chock full of disgusting little pieces of chopped up nuts that make it feel like I'm eating peanut flavored gravel.
 
2013-02-15 07:56:33 PM  
Forget about the butter. What is the tastiest strain of peanut?
 
2013-02-15 07:56:57 PM  

Acharne: Gough: Acharne: The reason they sell multiple varieties is that some people have a preference. I despise any sugar or added oil in my peanut butter, so I tend to buy the 'Just Peanuts' kind of crunchy. I buy this because I prefer it, not because one kind is 'wrong'.

Subby and the article are silly critters.

"Just Peanuts" when I'm in Canada, Adams in the US.  Chunky of course.

We have Adams here in Canada as well, but it costs 1-2 dollars more than an equivalent brand that is Just Peanuts. Sure is delicious though.


Since we're now getting raped by the exchange rate when we visit, we economize by buying the PC version while we're there.
 
2013-02-15 08:02:52 PM  

amquelbettamin: Forget about the butter. What is the tastiest strain of peanut?


Salted Virginia peanuts in a tin.  There are many brands, but it must be in a tin to preserve the crunch.
 
2013-02-15 08:05:33 PM  
CHUNKY! If I wanted to eat glue, I'd eat farking glue.
 
2013-02-15 08:05:36 PM  
fark YOUR MOTHER, SUBMITTER
 
2013-02-15 08:08:48 PM  

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.


^^
 
2013-02-15 08:10:01 PM  

Nabb1: When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.


Oreos are imitation Hydrox.  Oreos were a big, soft cookie like the standard supermarket-brand sandwich cookie until the 80's when they remade them to be more like Hydrox, with a crispier cookie.  After that, they stopped loosing market share and used superior marketing muscle to become the dominant brand on the market.
 
2013-02-15 08:12:03 PM  

Mr. Titanium: Nabb1: When did chunky peanut butter become so popular.  Chunky peanut butter is to creamy peanut butter as Gobots are to Transformers and Hydrox are to Oreos = similar, yet woefully inferior.

Oreos are imitation Hydrox.  Oreos were a big, soft cookie like the standard supermarket-brand sandwich cookie until the 80's when they remade them to be more like Hydrox, with a crispier cookie.  After that, they stopped loosing market share and used superior marketing muscle to become the dominant brand on the market.


You sound really old.
 
2013-02-15 08:13:13 PM  
I saw some peanut butter that was called Extreme. I opened it up and it was just peanuts. Oh man! This is radical!
uwire.com
 
2013-02-15 08:13:28 PM  
Subby lies. Why do you lie Subby? Why can't you stop lies from flying out your lie-hole?
 
2013-02-15 08:17:27 PM  
Smooth peanut butter is fine for those who like missionary position vanilla sex, women who wear sensible shoes and those who prefer to drive automatic transmissions. To sum it up, you're dead inside. The jokes you tell are horribly dated and you've had the same hair cut you had in HS. Enjoy your family vacations, your safe low yield investment vehicles and your HOV lifestyle. You're dead but too stupid to lie down and be quiet.

Chunky peanut butter lovers run faster, jump higher, get better grades and are overall pleasant to look at. They exude charm and confidence. They vacation with models at Hedonism. Their clothes are of a better quality and fit well, their cologne smells good and they go mouth to ass on a first date. Face it: chunky peanut butter people are better than you, and you wish you could be one of them.

/ I'm so chunky it hurts
 
2013-02-15 08:18:17 PM  
i30.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 08:20:14 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-15 08:21:03 PM  
You'll say you don't like Marmite next
 
2013-02-15 08:23:11 PM  

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


Is subby a particularly evil troll or truly demented?  These are the kinds of questions we may never have an answer to.
 
2013-02-15 08:23:49 PM  

skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.


Oh, and by the way, never, ever order a hot dog in Chile.  They do unspeakable things to them.
 
2013-02-15 08:26:21 PM  

Bastard Toadflax: some_beer_drinker: false. chunky is preferable is all applications

Ever hump a jar of chunky?

Yeah, didn't think so.


blogs.seattleweekly.com
I'm never eating any pie OR peanut-butter sandwiches at your place.

Ever.
 
2013-02-15 08:26:54 PM  
I grew up on chunky, so that's all I really know.
 
2013-02-15 08:29:04 PM  

bratface: CowardlyLion: skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.

What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

Ketchup is for children, they probably use thousand island dressing on salad too.


Why's it for children? I'm trying to understand the thought process behind Fark's ketchup hate.

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.

Damn straight. I prefer chunky, still, but it's nearly impossible to find anywhere near me.

Where do you live that you can't find chunky peanut butter at the grocery store?


Philadelphia. I haven't seen a jar of chunky Smucker's peanut butter in several years--athough, given JerseyTim's endorsement above, I may try Trader Joe's to see if they have something (and it's tasty).
 
2013-02-15 08:32:37 PM  
So late to this thread it doesn't matter but really, it was done in the boobies.
 
2013-02-15 08:37:18 PM  

Whack-a-Mole: So late to this thread it doesn't matter but really, it was done in the boobies.


That's what she said.
 
2013-02-15 08:39:30 PM  

ciberido: Bastard Toadflax: some_beer_drinker: false. chunky is preferable is all applications

Ever hump a jar of chunky?

Yeah, didn't think so.

[blogs.seattleweekly.com image 400x300]
I'm never eating any pie OR peanut-butter sandwiches at your place.

Ever.


You should try the peanut-butter pie. Very creamy... even when it's chunky.
 
2013-02-15 08:41:33 PM  

skinnycatullus: CowardlyLion: What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

Has nothing to do with being a food purist. I like any number of tasty things on my hot dogs. But ketchup is not one of them. It's just awful. It's too sweet and it mixes with the bun to make an ungodly layer of pinkish mush. Blech. Hot dogs have a unique flavor that needs to be complemented with vinegary, savory things, not covered up with some syrupy tomato mess.

Go ahead and ruin your hot dog with ketchup if you like, but I'm going to assume you have the unrefined palate of an 8-year-old.


I'm going to assume he's from New Jersey.
 
2013-02-15 08:48:38 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-15 08:49:06 PM  

skinnycatullus: CowardlyLion: What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

Has nothing to do with being a food purist. I like any number of tasty things on my hot dogs. But ketchup is not one of them. It's just awful. It's too sweet and it mixes with the bun to make an ungodly layer of pinkish mush. Blech. Hot dogs have a unique flavor that needs to be complemented with vinegary, savory things, not covered up with some syrupy tomato mess.

Go ahead and ruin your hot dog with ketchup if you like, but I'm going to assume you have the unrefined palate of an 8-year-old.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... LOOK EVERYONE ... IT'S A FARKING HOT DOG CONNOISSEUR ... BAHAHAHAHA

0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-02-15 08:56:06 PM  
 
2013-02-15 08:58:30 PM  

amquelbettamin: ggecko:

.
[global3.memecdn.com image 300x324]


Yuck.  She probably licks her own balls.
 
2013-02-15 09:04:38 PM  
partyflock.nl
 
2013-02-15 09:07:56 PM  

macadamnut: [partyflock.nl image 640x527]


Yuck.  I be she licks her own         ...        peanut butter covered fingers.
 
2013-02-15 09:09:55 PM  
Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.
 
2013-02-15 09:14:40 PM  
Don't judge me for the condiments I choose to put on my own hotdog and I won't judge you for the number of cocks you surely suck each and every day.
 
2013-02-15 09:21:27 PM  

MrHappyRotter: Don't judge me for the condiments I choose to put on my own hotdog and I won't judge you for the number of cocks you surely suck each and every day.



i512.photobucket.com

I'll put whatever condiments on as many cocks as I like.

/that didn't come out right

//neither did that

///damn it
 
2013-02-15 09:27:00 PM  

macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.


Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.
 
2013-02-15 09:35:44 PM  
Incorrect. Nutella is the correct answer. All other answers are inavalid.
 
2013-02-15 09:36:03 PM  

Acharne: macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.

Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.


Can I put mayonnaise on my hot dog?
 
2013-02-15 09:38:19 PM  
It depends on my mood.  Chunky works best accompanied by bananas and marshmallows.  Smooth is for eating out of the jar.
 
2013-02-15 09:40:50 PM  

amquelbettamin: Acharne: macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.

Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.

Can I put mayonnaise on my hot dog?


Yes, and you can also legally marry your partner in 9 U.S. states now.  Welcome to 2013.
 
2013-02-15 09:44:10 PM  

Acharne: macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.

Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.


Sir? You have been warned before about bringing level-headed discourse and reason to a Fark food thread. This is a formal warning. I know you're all Canadianny and such, but this sort of outrage will NOT be tolerated here. Ketchup on a hotdog is delicious, naysayers be damned to a thousand eternities of soul torturing madness.

I'm >this< close to reporting your tolerance to the mods. This malarkey is simply unacceptable.  You say you put ketchup on  hot dog? Defend it to the death!!!!
 
2013-02-15 09:47:44 PM  
The kind of person that prefers creamy pb over chunky probably likes puffy cheetos over crunchy. There's something wrong with you people.
 
2013-02-15 09:52:16 PM  
i171.photobucket.com

WRONG!
 
2013-02-15 09:58:21 PM  

amquelbettamin: Acharne: macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.

Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.

Can I put mayonnaise on my hot dog?


If the pope can put his butler in jail for telling the truth, you can put mayonnaise on your hot dog.


TinyFist: Acharne: macadamnut: Also, ketchup is fine, but only on french fries. It has no other applications. Don't let me catch you putting it on onion rings either.

Eggs, mac 'N cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers, mixed with ranch and used with chicken nuggets.

And if you don't like Ketchup on your hot dogs:

For the love of god just don't use any. It's that easy. No need to be obnoxious to those of us who might do it.

Sir? You have been warned before about bringing level-headed discourse and reason to a Fark food thread. This is a formal warning. I know you're all Canadianny and such, but this sort of outrage will NOT be tolerated here. Ketchup on a hotdog is delicious, naysayers be damned to a thousand eternities of soul torturing madness.

I'm >this< close to reporting your tolerance to the mods. This malarkey is simply unacceptable.  You say you put ketchup on  hot dog? Defend it to the death!!!!


I can't help it! I just want everyone to get along. Gawrsh though I sure don't want to be reported. I'll try.

Ok ok... Uhmmm.... uh.......don't chew bananas with your mouth open, it might sound awful to someone so avoid it.....uhmmmm.....ermmm......try not to fart when in line at the buffet, it confuses the palette and people make poor choices in cheese when you do.... uhm....
 
2013-02-15 10:12:06 PM  

CowardlyLion: bratface: CowardlyLion: skinnycatullus: You probably put ketchup on your hot dogs, too, subby.

You sicken me.

What's wrong with putting things (at least condiments and other foodstuffs) on hot dogs, exactly? I know there's some weird fark cult of food purists, but I'm curious about the backstory or (irrational) rationale.

Ketchup is for children, they probably use thousand island dressing on salad too.

Why's it for children? I'm trying to understand the thought process behind Fark's ketchup hate.

JerseyTim: All peanut butter is good as long as the only ingredient is peanuts.

Damn straight. I prefer chunky, still, but it's nearly impossible to find anywhere near me.

Where do you live that you can't find chunky peanut butter at the grocery store?

Philadelphia. I haven't seen a jar of chunky Smucker's peanut butter in several years--athough, given JerseyTim's endorsement above, I may try Trader Joe's to see if they have something (and it's tasty).


Don't you guys have 'Adam's Natural Peanut Butter' on the East coast?

As for ketchup, for me it's for fries (mixed with tarter sauce), hash browns, and meat loaf (mixed with barbeque sauce). Nothing else. But to each his or her own.
 
2013-02-15 10:14:50 PM  
You go to the store, put a tub under the spout, and hit the button.  Freshly ground peanut butter is yours.
 
2013-02-15 10:16:01 PM  

queezyweezel: Chunky peanut butter is just regular peanut butter that was never finished being made.  It's lazy peanut butter.

correct.
 
2013-02-15 10:26:40 PM  
Chunky is like orange juice with pulp. It's not doing anything but getting in the way of me enjoying what I'm consuming. Get it out of there.
 
2013-02-15 10:33:58 PM  
Been eating Adams Creamy for like 60 years.

service.jmslinks.com

Offer me chunky, you're like dead to me.
 
2013-02-15 10:34:49 PM  
I prefer creamy on toast or celery, but chunky on sandwiches or for baking cookies. I buy both.
 
2013-02-15 10:38:28 PM  

FSMFTMFW: [media.fooducate.com image 430x358]

Oh yeeeeaaa... fark all you other spreads!

/comes in chunky too


I knew I forgot one.
 
2013-02-15 11:02:07 PM  
For those that buy "real" peanut butter...

Buy an extra jar of peanut butter, each time, and store it upside down in the pantry. By the time you need it (smoove er chunkie) the oil is at the bottom of the jar. Which is now up.

Open it up and stir, and you get great peanut butter with less mess. Because the oil rises from the "bottom", which was the "top".

/lifehack
 
2013-02-15 11:04:12 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: laulaja: Sole problem with chunky, is it can't come in Reduced Fat.  boo hisss

fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat


Dream on.
 
2013-02-15 11:07:58 PM  
fat doesn't make you fat. sugar makes you fat

Does e.coli make you fat?  My previous brand was known for that secret ingredient.
 
2013-02-15 11:08:09 PM  

Stone Meadow: Been eating Adams Creamy for like 60 years.

[service.jmslinks.com image 200x315]

Offer me chunky, you're like dead to me.


I agree on the Adam's, but you've got the texture part wrong.   In our family, creamy PB is known as "survival paste".

A serious question, though: are Smuckers and Adam's basically the same?  Since Smuckers owns Adams, and we don't see Smuckers around here, I wondered if it's like the whole Best Foods/Hellman's thing.  (For those of you who've never been west of the Hudson, Hellman's products carry the Best Foods label in the western part of the country).
 
2013-02-15 11:23:08 PM  
Would you eat chunky butter and delude yourself into thinking that it's better than regular butter?
 
2013-02-15 11:25:49 PM  

Gough: Stone Meadow: Offer me chunky, you're like dead to me.

I agree on the Adam's, but you've got the texture part wrong.   In our family, creamy PB is known as "survival paste".


I used to whine about it when I was a kid, because my siblings liked crunchy, and my mother would give me *that look*. Anyway, my wife likes creamy, too, so that's what we buy. Don't know about Smuckers...sorry.
 
2013-02-15 11:26:24 PM  
If you really liked peanut butter you wouldn't be talking.  You can't talk with a mouth full of peanut butter.
 
2013-02-15 11:27:30 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-15 11:27:58 PM  

Matthew Keene: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x500]


that stuff is too salty.
 
2013-02-15 11:29:36 PM  

i.imgur.com


http://i.imgur.com/OERKS.jpg
 
2013-02-15 11:53:07 PM  
I prefer chunky usually, but for some things... you can only spread chunky so thin. Always makes you use more peanut butter than you intended for good coverage.
 
2013-02-15 11:53:09 PM  

lewismarktwo: [i.imgur.com image 400x400]
http://i.imgur.com/OERKS.jpg


This, but the chunky goes first.
 
2013-02-16 12:05:11 AM  
Okay, this may be the only time I ever get to quote one of my own song lyrics in a thread and have it be at least remotely related to the topic.  Warning, high blech factor.  You may never think of peanut butter the same.

"They used to call Suzanne creamy
Cause she spread so nice and easy-
Crunchy would have fit her better,
But you would've had to've met her."
 
2013-02-16 12:29:20 AM  
i1185.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-16 12:39:13 AM  

ModernLuddite: bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.

I like my peanut butter like I like my women....

sealed in plastic containers.


I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreading while I hold the knife.
 
2013-02-16 12:43:02 AM  
Subby probably puts the toilet paper roll on backwards too.


DOWN THE FRONT MOFO'S OR YOU HATE AMERICA!!!
 
2013-02-16 12:48:44 AM  
Chunky peanut butter is better because it's got chunky peanuts in it, and creamy peanut butter doesn't have chunky peanuts in it.

What now?

You can't argue with logic!
 
2013-02-16 01:43:33 AM  
I love whimsical arguments that give those of us who are reasonably level-headed most of the time to act like we're on the Politics tab.  Especially on a Friday evening.

sfist.com
 
2013-02-16 02:16:01 AM  
To all the idiot chunky lover, America's test kitchen has done 3 taste tests with peanut butter and creamy skippy has won all 3 times, with smooth Jif in second 2/3 times, in the most recent test no chunky brand was in the top half and the just peanuts and a bit of salt fell to the very bottom and was ranked almost inedible. Hydrogenation and a bit of salt, fat, and sugar tastes good!
 
2013-02-16 03:34:49 AM  

autopsybeverage: ModernLuddite: bingo the psych-o: p the boiler: I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Extra Chunky

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreadable.

I like my peanut butter like I like my women....

sealed in plastic containers.

I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Spreading while I hold the knife.


I like my peanut butter like I like my women...

Kept in a dark cabinet, and only brought out to be eaten.
 
2013-02-16 05:25:09 AM  

peeledpeas: Subby probably puts the toilet paper roll on backwards too.


DOWN THE FRONT MOFO'S OR YOU HATE AMERICA!!!


If you think that's contentious, ask your friends which side they wipe from.
 
2013-02-16 05:45:17 AM  
You lie subby
 
2013-02-16 05:53:58 AM  
So many chunky lovers? I didn't know there was so many slow learnes on fark. The correct answer is of course kraft regular smooth, on wonder bread or villagio

Oh and ketchup is THE only thing that belongs on hotdogs
 
2013-02-16 06:23:22 AM  
This was even a question in some people's minds?

Smooth > Chunky.

Stone Meadow: Been eating Adams Creamy for like 60 years.

[service.jmslinks.com image 200x315]

Offer me chunky, you're like dead to me.


Adam's Creamy FTW.
 
2013-02-16 07:21:38 AM  
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
 
2013-02-16 07:46:28 AM  
Ha! This thread's still kicking the next morning.

Let me just remind you all that putting ketchup on your eggs is an abomination, and I will not allow it.
 
2013-02-16 07:53:44 AM  
[catandyarn.jpg]
I love this thread so much.
/homemade, slightly crunchy peanut for me, still warm from the food processor
 
2013-02-16 08:35:27 AM  

robodog: To all the idiot chunky lover, America's test kitchen has done 3 taste tests with peanut butter and creamy skippy has won all 3 times, with smooth Jif in second 2/3 times, in the most recent test no chunky brand was in the top half and the just peanuts and a bit of salt fell to the very bottom and was ranked almost inedible. Hydrogenation and a bit of salt, fat, and sugar tastes good!


No. As much as I love Cooks Illustrated, they got this one wrong. Very wrong. Trader Joe's creamy salted is the best pb and there cannot be a valid argument against this truth.

/peanuts + salt, that's it
//like my women: smeared all over my face
 
2013-02-16 09:17:08 AM  
Burn them...burn them all.
 
2013-02-16 09:30:15 AM  
You chunky people likely don't eat grilled cheese with ketchup either, freaks
 
2013-02-16 10:27:16 AM  
This thread is delicious. I want to buy a jar of separated PB now and drink the oil from the top.

My ex Father in Law used to eat smooth with a fork, I don't know what the hell that was about, because everyone knows that you eat PB from the jar with a spoon or knife, NEVER a fork. That asininity did help me decided chunky is best.
 
2013-02-16 10:59:56 AM  

ChubbyTiger: Trader Joe's creamy salted is the best pb and there cannot be a valid argument against this truth.

/peanuts + salt, that's it


Pfft..,Jimmy-Come-Lately copycats. Adams has been making their pb from just peanuts + salt since 1922.

/adds ketchup to my scrambled eggs, too
 
2013-02-16 11:26:29 AM  
Epic brawls in my lifetime:

bmj2k.files.wordpress.com

blogs.amctv.com
www.biglots.com

narwhaler.com
 
2013-02-16 12:10:33 PM  
Creamy peanut butter is an ungodly abomination.
 
2013-02-16 02:01:15 PM  

jakepowers: Creamy peanut butter is an ungodly abomination.


So is Justin Beiber.
 
2013-02-16 11:06:17 PM  

Stone Meadow: ChubbyTiger: Trader Joe's creamy salted is the best pb and there cannot be a valid argument against this truth.

/peanuts + salt, that's it

Pfft..,Jimmy-Come-Lately copycats. Adams has been making their pb from just peanuts + salt since 1922.

/adds ketchup to my scrambled eggs, too


Never seen it at the store.  For all I know, they make TJ's.  And no ketchup on eggs.  Or anything else for that matter.
 
2013-02-16 11:49:08 PM  
No new posts in a while? It's about time those ketchup-on-thier-hotdog puttin' Chicago style pizza-esque casserole eatin' chunky peanut butter fans gave up.
 
2013-02-16 11:52:07 PM  

Land Ark: This is a more valid argument than try to make idiots understand that strawberry jelly is the one true jelly and that grape jelly is an abomination.


Polaner All Fruit Blackberry > Strawberry jam/jelly of any brand. Grape jelly is disgusting though, I will agree to that point.
 
2013-02-17 05:28:38 AM  
Strawberries are emissaries of Satan.

Even Darryl.
 
Displayed 246 of 246 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report