FARK.com: (7594976) Man lives with 15 inflatable toys & says he would marry his favorite. The Sun is there

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		Man lives with 15 inflatable toys & says he would marry his favorite. The Sun is there (thesun.co.uk)		75
		More: Weird, My Strange Addiction, favorites, toys

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9493 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 2:48 PM | Favorite | share:

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brap		2013-02-15 02:12:22 PM

I hope he is having gentle premarital sex or he may prematurely pop the questioned.

scottydoesntknow		2013-02-15 02:18:15 PM

See! First it's gay marriage, and now people are wanting to marry inflatable toys! Slippery slope indeed....

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier		2013-02-15 02:20:04 PM

In fairness, it's TOTALLY asking for it

L.D. Ablo		2013-02-15 02:27:53 PM

I wondered when Looners (Wiki, SFW) would turn up here.

Pocket Ninja		2013-02-15 02:35:33 PM

Completely stupid, fake attention whoring by both the Sun and the man, not even really worth a comment. But I'll make one, which is to say that there are plenty of genuine, bonafide weirdos out there, especially when it comes to, um, dolls. Here's a video to get started if you haven't seen it...it's a clip from a much longer show which will give you nightmares.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f59N37xH0Ng

Pants full of macaroni!!		2013-02-15 02:50:50 PM

THANKS A LOT FARTBAMA

Counter_Intelligent		2013-02-15 02:52:51 PM

DON'T TALK shiat ABOUT MAI WAIFU!!!

lockers		2013-02-15 02:52:51 PM

Still not as weird as being involved with a body pillow that has a cartoon girl on it.

Devolving_Spud		2013-02-15 02:54:15 PM

The Police - Be My Girl (Sally)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeecRrhnCZk

AgentKGB		2013-02-15 02:54:34 PM

Obligatory (NOT WORK SAFE)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BizVx2Xdqs0

if you don't have a youtube account or don't want to sign in

http://www.nsfwyoutube.com/watch?v=BizVx2Xdqs0

Alright which one of you is davecat? Fess up.

Bastard Toadflax		2013-02-15 02:54:49 PM

Has anyone made a blow job joke yet?

swankywanky		2013-02-15 02:57:19 PM

is his name Takeo Nomura?

//Nothing is obscure on FARK

Master Sphincter		2013-02-15 02:57:49 PM

Some people stop using condoms due to latex allergies. Is there such a thing as polyurethane allergies?

cgraves67		2013-02-15 02:58:53 PM

There was once a research study that was investigating turkey reproductive instinct. They quickly determined that a tom turkey would fark anything that looked like a female turkey including a dead female turkey's head on a stick.

Sometimes I wonder if some alien scientists are doing similar tests on our species.

uncleacid		2013-02-15 02:59:05 PM

Love is in the air.

Bastard Toadflax		2013-02-15 03:01:19 PM

uncleacid: Love is in the air.

It's a low-pressure relationship.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-02-15 03:01:54 PM

Master Sphincter		2013-02-15 03:02:01 PM

I reminded myself of the time I made sweet, sweet love to a shampoo bottle. Pee pee looked like a carrot after coitus.

My point is that it takes more than saying: "I love you inflatable dragon". You must have a place to put it in to consumate the marriage. If it were me, I would employ a combination of lube and deflation. Good luck creep/attention whore

Abe Vigoda's Ghost		2013-02-15 03:02:48 PM

cgraves67: There was once a research study that was investigating turkey reproductive instinct. They quickly determined that a tom turkey would fark anything that looked like a female turkey including a dead female turkey's head on a stick.

Sometimes I wonder if some alien scientists are doing similar tests on our species.

Don't be too judgmental until you've f*cked a dead female turkey's head on a stick.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-02-15 03:05:49 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: cgraves67: There was once a research study that was investigating turkey reproductive instinct. They quickly determined that a tom turkey would fark anything that looked like a female turkey including a dead female turkey's head on a stick.

Sometimes I wonder if some alien scientists are doing similar tests on our species.

Don't be too judgmental until you've f*cked a dead female turkey's head on a stick.

Turkey grease in the gobble gobble

JWideman		2013-02-15 03:06:43 PM

Master Sphincter: Some people stop using condoms due to latex allergies. Is there such a thing as polyurethane allergies?

Yes. Some people can use neither latex nor polyurethane condoms because of allergies.

Bastard Toadflax		2013-02-15 03:09:13 PM

I'm racking my brain trying to remember the name of a British musician who plays the piano and writes extremely clever songs, including one about his affair with an inflatable woman. Anyone know who I'm talking about? He has bright orange hair... No, not carrot top.

Ego edo infantia cattus		2013-02-15 03:09:41 PM

swankywanky: is his name Takeo Nomura?

//Nothing is obscure on FARK

I'm going to guess "The Tatami Galaxy" anime.

/Not sure of the character's name.

imfallen_angel		2013-02-15 03:09:47 PM

Where's Kwame in all this?

imfallen_angel		2013-02-15 03:11:30 PM

Satanic_Hamster		2013-02-15 03:12:39 PM

Approves:

lockers		2013-02-15 03:13:02 PM

JWideman: Master Sphincter: Some people stop using condoms due to latex allergies. Is there such a thing as polyurethane allergies?

Yes. Some people can use neither latex nor polyurethane condoms because of allergies.

I bet there are a lot more men who say they have an allergy than actually do.

Der Poopflinger		2013-02-15 03:13:37 PM

smells like rubber bullshiat to me

INeedAName		2013-02-15 03:14:30 PM

Ryan Gossling did it better.

Snarfangel		2013-02-15 03:15:19 PM

Bubbles!

iheartscotch		2013-02-15 03:15:50 PM

Well then; I didn't expect those particular inflatable friends; but, it seems to work for him.

Snarfangel		2013-02-15 03:16:22 PM

scottydoesntknow: See! First it's gay marriage, and now people are wanting to marry inflatable toys! Slippery slope indeed....

With enough lubricant, almost any slope is slippery.

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves		2013-02-15 03:17:11 PM

Amos Quito		2013-02-15 03:17:47 PM

15 and he's only marrying one?

Legalize latex polygamy!

Carn		2013-02-15 03:17:55 PM

That dragon is a cheating whore.

Bastard Toadflax		2013-02-15 03:18:10 PM

Found it:

Inflatable You
Your love for me is not debatable
Your sexual appetite's insatiable
You never ever make me waitable
Delectable, inflatable you.
You don't have problems with your weight at all
You never steal food off my plate at all
I never have to masturbate at all
Unstoppable, inflatable you.
You never seem to menstruate at all
So you're not angry when I'm late at all
I feel permanently felatable
Unpoppable, inflatable you.
With you in my arms I feel we could just fly away
With the right kind of gas I might even try it some day
In this ocean of life I'm never afraid we might drown
We could just float forever whatever the weather
Whenever my inflatable lover's around.
Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable
You always do what you are toldable
And if we argue you just foldable
Controllable consolable you.
My mates all reckon you are suitable
I took you 'round to watch the footable
And Steve and Gary said you're rootable
Commutable, refutable you.
You're never sensitive or tickley
When I rub you my skin goes prickerly
It's know an static electricity
Felicity when I'm kissing you.
Your skin is so smooth I couldn't afford you with hair
You have all the holes real girls have got plus one for the air
Your problems are simple, I don't need my Masters in Psych
To know if you get down I just perk you right up
With a couple of squirts from the pump off my bike.
You never wake up when I snore at all
A trait which I find quite adorable
You have a box and you are storable
Ignorable, back-doorable you.
Any sexual position's feasible
Although you don't bend at the knees at all
Your hooters are so firm and squeezable
Increasable, un-creasable you.
You don't complain about my hairy back
Or 'bout the inches that downstairs I lack
You're not disgusted by my furry crack
Burt Bacharach, Jack Kerouac ooo.
Now birth control is not an issue
I clean it all up with a tissue
I bet my jealous friend all wish you
Were insatiably inflatably theirs.
Don't let me down.
Don't let me down.
Don't let me down.
And I won't let you down.

Tim Minchin 2003.

Snarfangel		2013-02-15 03:20:05 PM

Wait 'til he meets the father.
www.tvgasm.com

Awkward.

fat boy		2013-02-15 03:21:50 PM

I see Kwame has been covered, carry on.

probesport		2013-02-15 03:23:16 PM

Well he seems stable and well adjusted.

Odd Bird		2013-02-15 03:23:27 PM

imfallen_angel: [i690.photobucket.com image 422x494][i690.photobucket.com image 290x320]

Dropped by for this, caught that thread when I had a TF gift membership.

Elegy		2013-02-15 03:24:28 PM

Meh, he needs to learn from the master (SFW)

The Irresponsible Captain		2013-02-15 03:37:07 PM

Great The UPS truck
is here with my date for tonight

She not very sensual
Cause she's got no genitals
she feels sensational
her mouth is electrical
Have fun with my girlfriend is always a cinch
When she's pumped up to 35 psi.
She used to good to me until she busted

My Girlfriend is Inflatable

/Not Weird Al's song either

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-02-15 03:46:52 PM

Elegy: Meh, he needs to learn from the master (SFW)

funnyjunk doesn't like us

Abe Vigoda's Ghost		2013-02-15 03:52:36 PM

Snarfangel: Wait 'til he meets the father.

i49.tinypic.com

He might like the mother better.

Elegy		2013-02-15 03:57:37 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Elegy: Meh, he needs to learn from the master (SFW)

funnyjunk doesn't like us

Whoops. I just picked the first link off my GIS that had a high resolution pic of that particular thread. Should have looked closer, sorry for linking to blatant content thieves. I hate those guys.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-02-15 04:12:20 PM

Elegy: Fark Rye For Many Whores: Elegy: Meh, he needs to learn from the master (SFW)

funnyjunk doesn't like us

Whoops. I just picked the first link off my GIS that had a high resolution pic of that particular thread. Should have looked closer, sorry for linking to blatant content thieves. I hate those guys.

Yeah it works if you copy and paste, and worth the look. (And the nausea.)

Gabrielmot		2013-02-15 04:12:21 PM

Pocket Ninja: man, not even really worth a comment. But I'll make one, which is to say that there are plenty of genuine, bonafide weirdos out there, especially wh

This isn't that weird...

1. Pee Wee Hermann married a fruit salad many years ago.
2. Years later Peter Griffin almost married a pie.

I think a blow up doll would be a little more reasonable.

LewDux		2013-02-15 04:22:57 PM

Link

Heamer		2013-02-15 04:27:01 PM

I went to the University of Redlands; the surrounding area is known for its citrus production. An orange he ain't, but this guy does seem to be a bit of a fruitcake. To each his own, I suppose.