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(The Atlantic Wire)   Worst vacation ever continues as cruise ship's bus ride home breaks down. Ironic, Fail and Asinine last seen thumbing for a ride   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 115
    More: Followup  
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10550 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 1:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-15 02:25:18 PM  
"Oh thank god.  At least we're off that horrible boat and on our way home now..."
 
2013-02-15 02:25:37 PM  

The_Sponge: crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


When I finally make it to the Caribbean, it won't be on a cruise.

/Want to visit St. Martin/Maarten.
//And watch the planes come in while I enjoy an umbrella drink.

[i248.photobucket.com image 850x617]


You know, my fiance and I are trying to find a place for our honeymoon. She wants somewhere tropical, while I find laying on the beach to be one of the most boring things imaginable. This might be an awesome compromise!!! Thanks for giving me the idea!
 
2013-02-15 02:25:51 PM  

thespindrifter: I know a couple that was on that bus: I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and they still owe me money for fixing their laptop while they were gone. Dammit, I want my money!!



*Henry Hill voice on*

Your cruise went to hell?  F*ck you, pay me.

*Henry Hill voice off*
 
2013-02-15 02:27:03 PM  

scubamage: You know, my fiance and I are trying to find a place for our honeymoon. She wants somewhere tropical, while I find laying on the beach to be one of the most boring things imaginable. This might be an awesome compromise!!! Thanks for giving me the idea!



Ha!  You're very welcome....and congrats.
 
2013-02-15 02:27:45 PM  

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


I think we've just found our floating FarkCon 2014 venue.
 
2013-02-15 02:27:49 PM  

rickythepenguin: The_Sponge: //And watch the planes come in while I enjoy an umbrella drink.

ther'es a youtube video of what has to be that airport, of dumbasses trying to remain standing during a jet takeoff.  it's pretty hairy.  one of the people takes a header and eats shiat on the sidewalk.



Heh.

There was an episode of "Three Sheets" where Zane Lamprey did the same thing.
 
2013-02-15 02:30:18 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: I've also skipped ports of call entirely and taken advantage of an empty ship to sit quietly by the pool deck.


So you went on a cruise. On a crowded ship. So when they hit the port of call, you could stay on the ship where it wasn't crowded anymore?

Couldn't you have just... I don't know... not gotten on the crowded ship in the first place? It seems like the more economical solution to avoiding large masses of people.
 
2013-02-15 02:30:54 PM  

URAPNIS: I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.


I'm guessing they've seen enough instances of public urination to last them a while.
 
2013-02-15 02:31:53 PM  

The_Sponge: There was an episode of "Three Sheets" where Zane Lamprey did the same thing.


http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=idiots+jet+taking+off+ma ar ten%27s&oq=idiots+jet+taking+off+maarten%27s&gs_l=youtube.3...109191.1 11985.0.112277.10.10.0.0.0.0.220.872.9j0j1.10.0...0.0...1ac.1.c0753Pwa NNQ


if you feel like watching weapons grade dumbassery (it is in fact st maareten's) here you go.
 
2013-02-15 02:33:35 PM  
Attention passengers; please proceed to the front of the bus to disembark.

Once you've exited the vehicle, please shiat in the bags being handed out by the driver.
 
2013-02-15 02:34:04 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: and the appeal is fairly simple:


1) you're lucky if you're there from 8AM to 5PM. No nightime fun on the beach.  No swimming in bioluminescent bays.  If you like to sleep in your out of ship time is severely reduced.  No listening to the crash of the waves as you drift off to sleep and awake the next morning.  I could go on and on here about what you can't get in your very limited in port times.

2) you've got a point there, but I'd rather save up and do something nice less often.  I can get the on ship experience through day trips to the water park and concert hall and casino etc.

3) private balcony FTW, I want some farking semblance of privacy.  That goes for the whole experience.  Is there ever a time on a cruise ship where you can have a pool to yourself?  Or be one of maybe a dozen people on the beach and the only one in the water?

4) all inclusive does the same, and you won't get nickel and dimed. And it only takes just a little pre-planning to find out where places to eat are.  I went to the same place each summer as a child and it quickly turned into a "which of the 6 places we like do we eat tonight"
 
2013-02-15 02:34:25 PM  

bittermang: Yanks_RSJ: I've also skipped ports of call entirely and taken advantage of an empty ship to sit quietly by the pool deck.

So you went on a cruise. On a crowded ship. So when they hit the port of call, you could stay on the ship where it wasn't crowded anymore?

Couldn't you have just... I don't know... not gotten on the crowded ship in the first place? It seems like the more economical solution to avoiding large masses of people.


Some ports have nothing of interest to me.  Others do.   I suppose if I had unlimited resources I could take a 4-night vacation somewhere and not care about the cost of it.  But I don't, so a cruise is a good alternative.

And what the fark do you care where I choose to vacation?  I was presenting the appeal.  Like I said, it's not for everybody.
 
2013-02-15 02:34:30 PM  

bittermang: Yanks_RSJ: I've also skipped ports of call entirely and taken advantage of an empty ship to sit quietly by the pool deck.

So you went on a cruise. On a crowded ship. So when they hit the port of call, you could stay on the ship where it wasn't crowded anymore?

Couldn't you have just... I don't know... not gotten on the crowded ship in the first place? It seems like the more economical solution to avoiding large masses of people.


Some people like to do things that you wouldn't like to do.
 
2013-02-15 02:36:36 PM  

12349876: Yanks_RSJ: and the appeal is fairly simple:

1) you're lucky if you're there from 8AM to 5PM. No nightime fun on the beach.  No swimming in bioluminescent bays.  If you like to sleep in your out of ship time is severely reduced.  No listening to the crash of the waves as you drift off to sleep and awake the next morning.  I could go on and on here about what you can't get in your very limited in port times.

2) you've got a point there, but I'd rather save up and do something nice less often.  I can get the on ship experience through day trips to the water park and concert hall and casino etc.

3) private balcony FTW, I want some farking semblance of privacy.  That goes for the whole experience.  Is there ever a time on a cruise ship where you can have a pool to yourself?  Or be one of maybe a dozen people on the beach and the only one in the water?

4) all inclusive does the same, and you won't get nickel and dimed. And it only takes just a little pre-planning to find out where places to eat are.  I went to the same place each summer as a child and it quickly turned into a "which of the 6 places we like do we eat tonight"


Wow, people really care where I go on vacation, huh?  If it's not for you, it's not for you.  I don't work for a cruise line, I couldn't give two shiats - as opposed to the Carnival travelers this week.
 
2013-02-15 02:43:17 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?

I'm about to go on my 9th cruise in a few weeks (not Carnival, that line is notoriously awful even when you don't end up smeared in feces) and the appeal is fairly simple:

1) Cruises stop at these things called "ports".  You don't just sail around for a few days, you get off the ship, arrange excursions or do whatever you want.  I've done scuba/snorkeling trips, booze cruise outings, kayaking, etc.  I've also skipped ports of call entirely and taken advantage of an empty ship to sit quietly by the pool deck.
2) Cruises are inexpensive compared other vacations.
3) Yes the cabins are small, and if you're in them for anything except showering/sleeping, you're doing it wrong.  Exterior cabins are slightly more expensive than the windowless interior ones.
4)  You don't have to decide where to eat, or pay for your food.  None of the "where do you want to eat tonight" conversations.  The quality varies from ship to ship, but I've never been disappointed by the food on board.  Liquor is the only thing that costs money (and yes, is how the cruise l ...


you should look in to ClubMed - where you have the abil to just walk up to the food places and eat whatever, the beer and wine is free (take a bottle to your room, if you'd like), and you can even get a bracelet that allows you unlimited liquor.   And there's lots and lots of activities.   And no cramped cabins.  And the resort doesn't break down in the middle of the ocean.
 
2013-02-15 02:43:35 PM  

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


My wife and I have used them as sort of "test out the island" type deals.  It's cheaper than invidually island hopping.  We book our own excursions and never shop in the "cruise ship town" when you get to port.  We also usually go on Start Clipper which is a much, much smaller ship.  They run it on sails for at least part of the trip.  You can only get about 100 to 150 people on there so it is much less crowded.  They also go to better ports because they go to the ones that the big ones can't get to.
 
2013-02-15 02:44:52 PM  
Also, I'm too lazy to do a search.  Has anyone made a Clark Griswold joke yet?  If not, then something something Vacation.
 
2013-02-15 02:48:15 PM  
If bad things come in three these people better not fly any time soon. Cause if the plane breaks down they're gonna wish they were on a shiat covered boat.
 
gja
2013-02-15 02:49:55 PM  
These folks better just lay low for a while once the get home, because it's starting to sound a bit like this:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-15 02:56:10 PM  
serendipidiots.files.wordpress.com

This traveler insisted on staying positive throughout the ordeal.
 
2013-02-15 02:58:27 PM  
What a cruise might look like:

www.titanicuniverse.com
/hotlinked for your private viewing pleasure
 
2013-02-15 02:59:23 PM  
White people problems.
 
2013-02-15 03:08:15 PM  

Caffandtranqs: That sucks, but they were already acting like they had survived the sinking of the Titanic beforehand.  A teary-eyed woman on "Good Morning America" said she felt homeless because her room was filled with stank, and that she felt the need to sue the company because of the emotional trauma she went through.  There I was watching this with my boyfriend who actually was homeless some years back.  We both busted out laughing, "Biatch please!"  They have the "horror stories" on Yahoo as well.  It's pretty pathetic.


These people were inconvenienced.  Plus, they didn't get to gorge themselves, one of the major cruise attractions, maybe the only one.
 
2013-02-15 03:09:26 PM  
It's like final destination, except instead of dying they are just severely inconvenienced.
 
2013-02-15 03:09:31 PM  

Rapmaster2000: So cheer up, poopcruisers.


All over my keyboard....it is EVERYWHERE!
 
2013-02-15 03:17:13 PM  
if i had been one of the poor SOBs that had been on that nightmare of a cruise and onthe bus that broke down i would be like " Fark my life"
 
2013-02-15 03:17:35 PM  
the aristocrats
 
2013-02-15 03:17:37 PM  

chubby muppet: [serendipidiots.files.wordpress.com image 590x392]

This traveler insisted on staying positive throughout the ordeal.


"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!!"

"Pffft, how do they know where we're going?"
 
gja
2013-02-15 03:26:20 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: White people problems.


/oblig
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-15 03:36:12 PM  
Movie idea:  "Boats, Buses And....."

/hopes those poor inconvenienced bastards don't have an And....

I'm sure a few of those folks will come home to find out they were fired when they could not call into work.
 
2013-02-15 03:42:13 PM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: Caffandtranqs: That sucks, but they were already acting like they had survived the sinking of the Titanic beforehand.  A teary-eyed woman on "Good Morning America" said she felt homeless because her room was filled with stank, and that she felt the need to sue the company because of the emotional trauma she went through.  There I was watching this with my boyfriend who actually was homeless some years back.  We both busted out laughing, "Biatch please!"  They have the "horror stories" on Yahoo as well.  It's pretty pathetic.

These people were inconvenienced.  Plus, they didn't get to gorge themselves, one of the major cruise attractions, maybe the only one.


I know, it's TERRIBLE!  They should get 50,000 dollars each for the therapy they will need to heal their emotional scars.
 
2013-02-15 03:54:04 PM  

oldfarthenry: Someone must have bought a cursed tiki statue on day-leave during that cruise. I saw this on the Brady Bunch.


mantiseye.com
 
2013-02-15 03:54:27 PM  
I was on vacation last year and had to change my friend's flat tire...in 106 heat!

/I still have nightmares
 
2013-02-15 04:02:58 PM  

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


Can someone please explain why you give a shiat about how anyone else spends their time and/or money on entertainment? As long as they are harming no one what the fark is it to you? If you don't like something don't do it, but whining about how others do something you don't like just makes you a farking tool.
 
2013-02-15 04:03:44 PM  
It would really suck to finally make it home after all this, and the first time you flush your home toilet it overflows.
 
2013-02-15 04:05:53 PM  

oldfarthenry: Someone must have bought a cursed tiki statue on day-leave during that cruise. I saw this on the Brady Bunch.


ha - the Hawaii trip episodes (it was a two-parter) are my favorite Brady Bunch episodes.

/also really liked it when Fred G. Sanford (and the G stands for something) and Lamont visited Hawaii
//Very disappointed the Evans family (from Good Times) never got to go
///Why is this even news? Carnival farked up big time and they are paying for it.
 
2013-02-15 04:05:59 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: And what the fark do you care where I choose to vacation?  I was presenting the appeal.  Like I said, it's not for everybody.


Every time I see someone complaining about cruises in here, I just think to myself "Oh well, one less complaining passenger, more fun for me on board."

Makes these threads less stressful.

/heading on a cruise Sunday
//Carnival, but a better ship
///slashies come in threes
 
2013-02-15 04:08:55 PM  

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


I assume that unlike me and people like me, the ones who enjoy going are the ones who enjoy being part of crowds for extended periods of time  People are selfish, hateful, frightened little animals...why would I want to surround myself with them?
 
2013-02-15 04:24:19 PM  

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


All of this.
 
2013-02-15 04:24:56 PM  

CheekyMonkey: rickythepenguin: URAPNIS: I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.


Oh, mama, can it really be the end? To be stuck outside-a Mobile, with the Memphis blues again?

/obscure?

INside.

/nope.


Not if you've seen "Fear & Loathing" a few hundred times...
 
2013-02-15 04:30:35 PM  
Caffandtranqs:
I know, it's TERRIBLE!  They should get 50,000 dollars each for the therapy they will need to heal their emotional scars.

My coworkers and I were having a discussion what "appropriate compensation" would be for this trip and most of us agreed on the following:

1) Full refund of purchase price, 2) Free cruise voucher as a measure of good faith and 3) $2,000 for the experience and to repay the cash value of vacation time that was lost at work.

However one coworker kept insisting that this experience should be worth at least $100,000 and would be physically and emotionally damaging. Never being able to get on a cruise again without flash backs and worrying if it would happen again. He was describing it like all the cruisers are going to walk away with full blown PTSD.

/God some people have such an over inflated sense of self worth
//I'm sure people think that what i listed above is way more than that deserve.
 
2013-02-15 04:31:12 PM  

WhoGAS: crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?

I assume that unlike me and people like me, the ones who enjoy going are the ones who enjoy being part of crowds for extended periods of time  People are selfish, hateful, frightened little animals...why would I want to surround myself with them?


I will be going on my 9th (Carnival) cruise in a couple of weeks.  The allure of cruising, for me, is spending a week partying with like minded fun people.  Not having to worry about how I'm going to get home when I"m plastered.  Eating as much as I want, when I want (I'm not fat, btw).  Meeting hot women, and there tend to me quite a few on Carnival boats around spring break time.  Visiting the various ports of call and doing things like zip lining, cave tubing and white water rafting.

It's not for everyone though and different people go for different reasons.  Everyone I see on board looks like they are having a good time, especially the fatties at the buffet.
 
2013-02-15 04:33:44 PM  

rickythepenguin: xiola: THIS

disclaimer:  i've never been on a cruise, but.....a friend goes semi-regularly and she said the last night is basically a free-for-all.  while some decks are, you know, for families and shiat, she was on a cruise where the open secret was whatever deck was for "adults only".  and as told to us, anything you wanted sexually was there. couple's roms, gay rooms, "where the boy's aren't" room, group rooms, "like to watch", etc.

dunno.  just saying.


I have been on several cruises and I've never heard of this. Where do you sign up? Is this really what the "Friends of Bill W." meeting are about?
 
2013-02-15 04:36:41 PM  

thespindrifter: I know a couple that was on that bus: I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and they still owe me money for fixing their laptop while they were gone. Dammit, I want my money!!


A) you're never going to see that money;

Or

B) don't accept it - it's cursed
 
2013-02-15 04:36:52 PM  
The Onion just reported it crashed into a sewage treatment plant. That would have been better.
 
2013-02-15 04:41:15 PM  

automaticman: CheekyMonkey: rickythepenguin: URAPNIS: I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.


Oh, mama, can it really be the end? To be stuck outside-a Mobile, with the Memphis blues again?

/obscure?

INside.

/nope.

Not if you've seen "Fear & Loathing" a few hundred times...


As your Attorney I advise you to see a wide variety of movies.

/and cut down on the adrenachrome
 
2013-02-15 04:42:35 PM  
Ok cruise is coming out.
 
2013-02-15 04:42:57 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Hai Guiz - I'm home...
 
2013-02-15 05:01:59 PM  

Loki009: Caffandtranqs:
I know, it's TERRIBLE!  They should get 50,000 dollars each for the therapy they will need to heal their emotional scars.

My coworkers and I were having a discussion what "appropriate compensation" would be for this trip and most of us agreed on the following:

1) Full refund of purchase price, 2) Free cruise voucher as a measure of good faith and 3) $2,000 for the experience and to repay the cash value of vacation time that was lost at work.

However one coworker kept insisting that this experience should be worth at least $100,000 and would be physically and emotionally damaging. Never being able to get on a cruise again without flash backs and worrying if it would happen again. He was describing it like all the cruisers are going to walk away with full blown PTSD.

/God some people have such an over inflated sense of self worth
//I'm sure people think that what i listed above is way more than that deserve.


They are doing those things except #3.  Instead, they are getting $500 and a paid trip home.  That might almost add up to $1,000 each.  I think that's fine because well, shiat happens.  $100,000 is overdoing it.  PTSD?????  If a situation like that is enough to cause someone PTSD, then they should not even be leaving the house without a full set of anti-depressants, Xanax, body padding, and helmet.
 
2013-02-15 05:11:11 PM  
What this tells me is that Carnival loves, loves loves lowest bidder on everything.
 
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