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(The Atlantic Wire)   Worst vacation ever continues as cruise ship's bus ride home breaks down. Ironic, Fail and Asinine last seen thumbing for a ride   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 115
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10534 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 1:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-15 01:53:42 PM
I've driven that route several times and it could have been worse.  The bus could have plunged off a bridge into a gator-infested swamp.

So cheer up, poopcruisers.
 
2013-02-15 01:55:39 PM
Were the on a Wah Fung bus?
 
2013-02-15 01:57:24 PM
Someone must have bought a cursed tiki statue on day-leave during that cruise. I saw this on the Brady Bunch.
 
2013-02-15 01:57:28 PM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-15 01:57:45 PM
Next up:

Horrifying YouTube video of the asteroid hitting the broken down cruiseship bus.
 
2013-02-15 01:57:46 PM

skinink: Were the on a Wah Fung bus?


Fus-Ro-Bus?.
 
2013-02-15 01:57:49 PM

skinink


Were the on a Wah Fung bus?


Everybody have fun tonight.
Everybody Wah Fung tonight.


Psst - it's Fung Wah.
 
2013-02-15 01:58:04 PM
"Six bucks and my right nut says we're not making it to New Orleans."
 
2013-02-15 01:58:07 PM
The video in that article was quite possibly the best and most informative 55 seconds of footage in the history of journalism.
 
2013-02-15 01:58:18 PM
Poseidon hates these people.
 
2013-02-15 01:58:47 PM
What fun making the scrapbooks is going to be!
 
2013-02-15 01:58:57 PM

SpdrJay: Next up:

Horrifying YouTube video of the asteroid hitting the broken down cruiseship bus.


Is this all because the Pope is resigning?
 
2013-02-15 01:59:32 PM
Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*
 
2013-02-15 02:00:39 PM

axeeugene: "Six bucks and my right nut says we're not making it to New Orleans."


You play with your balls alot
 
2013-02-15 02:00:40 PM
Two simultaneous earth-day poop cruise threads. Poop doesn't exist except in poop educated poop minds. You are educated poop. Get on both boats.
 
2013-02-15 02:01:34 PM
I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.
 
2013-02-15 02:01:40 PM
sportsfictionlife.files.wordpress.com

Relax, boss
 
2013-02-15 02:02:48 PM
ALL STAND ASIDE FOR THE WALKING DEAD, LEST YE SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS THOSE POOR WRETCHED SOULS.

/It's like the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but with red bags of filth.
 
2013-02-15 02:02:48 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*


No, first the tow truck that comes for the bus blows a tire.
Then the cab that comes to pick up whoever the universe is toying with plows into a tree.
Then the ambulance goes up a steep hill with the rear door unlatched and the person rides the gurney all the way down to the leech-infested swamp at the bottom.
*Then* they have a heart attack.
.
.
.
And then their funeral gets rained out.
 
2013-02-15 02:03:45 PM
Can we get a list of the passengers on that bus . . .

. . . so that I can be sure never to travel with them?
 
2013-02-15 02:03:50 PM

URAPNIS: I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.



Oh, mama, can it really be the end? To be stuck outside-a Mobile, with the Memphis blues again?

/obscure?
 
2013-02-15 02:04:55 PM
When they get back to where they parked their cars, someones car won't start. Oh, the humanity.
 
2013-02-15 02:05:18 PM

Bondith: Fuggin Bizzy: Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*

No, first the tow truck that comes for the bus blows a tire.
Then the cab that comes to pick up whoever the universe is toying with plows into a tree.
Then the ambulance goes up a steep hill with the rear door unlatched and the person rides the gurney all the way down to the leech-infested swamp at the bottom.
*Then* they have a heart attack.
.
.
.
And then their funeral gets rained out.


And for some people, all of the above would qualify as Just Another Tuesday Morning.
 
2013-02-15 02:06:18 PM

neversubmit: axeeugene: "Six bucks and my right nut says we're not making it to New Orleans."

You play with your balls alot


I'm an easy target. But my wife likes me. *I* like me!

/YOU'RE MESSIN' WITH THE WRONG GUY!
 
2013-02-15 02:06:39 PM

ClavellBCMI: Bondith: Fuggin Bizzy: Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*

No, first the tow truck that comes for the bus blows a tire.
Then the cab that comes to pick up whoever the universe is toying with plows into a tree.
Then the ambulance goes up a steep hill with the rear door unlatched and the person rides the gurney all the way down to the leech-infested swamp at the bottom.
*Then* they have a heart attack.
.
.
.
And then their funeral gets rained out.

And for some people, all of the above would qualify as Just Another Tuesday Morning.


Never could get the hang of Tuesdays...
 
2013-02-15 02:08:09 PM

ClavellBCMI: Bondith: Fuggin Bizzy: Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*

No, first the tow truck that comes for the bus blows a tire.
Then the cab that comes to pick up whoever the universe is toying with plows into a tree.
Then the ambulance goes up a steep hill with the rear door unlatched and the person rides the gurney all the way down to the leech-infested swamp at the bottom.
*Then* they have a heart attack.
.
.
.
And then their funeral gets rained out.

And for some people, all of the above would qualify as Just Another Tuesday Morning.


Or then they could charter an aircraft and...
 
2013-02-15 02:09:40 PM
It's a good thing Dorner is dead, or else the bus might take a wrong turn in Albaquerque and they all get shot by the LAPD.
 
2013-02-15 02:09:48 PM

rickythepenguin: URAPNIS: I'm pretty sure that I would have skipped the bus rides and just gotten a hotel room in Mobile. Thursday nights are college nights downtown.


Oh, mama, can it really be the end? To be stuck outside-a Mobile, with the Memphis blues again?

/obscure?


INside.

/nope.
 
2013-02-15 02:10:36 PM
Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?
 
2013-02-15 02:11:04 PM
And now they're in Alabama. Will the torment never cease?!?!?
 
2013-02-15 02:12:11 PM
Turns out the bus' manifest had the destination as Jerry Sandusky's jail cell
 
2013-02-15 02:12:13 PM
I hear the toilet is overflowing on the bus.
 
2013-02-15 02:12:32 PM

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


THIS
 
2013-02-15 02:12:48 PM
Ok, which one of those poor saps said, "I'd sell my SOUL to take a cruise!" And forgot that the devil is going to use your words against you?
 
2013-02-15 02:13:32 PM
What did they do that the universe wants to make them suffer so badly? They need to figure out who it is that's cursed and get rid of them.
 
2013-02-15 02:14:00 PM

t1.gstatic.com

vudukungfu:
I hear the toilet is overflowing on the bus.


You say that like it's a bad thing.
 
2013-02-15 02:14:35 PM

axeeugene: neversubmit: axeeugene: "Six bucks and my right nut says we're not making it to New Orleans."

You play with your balls alot

I'm an easy target. But my wife likes me. *I* like me!

/YOU'RE MESSIN' WITH THE WRONG GUY!


you skipped some lines :(

Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

old but still funny
 
2013-02-15 02:15:43 PM
When & where is that asteroid supposed swing past?
 
2013-02-15 02:15:51 PM

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


I so agree. I never had any desire to go on a cruise and this incident just confirms it. There are nice enough beaches a 4-hour's drive from me and the French Quarter is 45 minutes away. I have no need to  cruise. I'll visit my cousin in Boston every other year or so and I'd love to go to Europe but cruises...feh. If I want to go to Mexico a friend of my mother's had a gorgeous house there and has invited me.
 
2013-02-15 02:16:40 PM

xiola: THIS


disclaimer:  i've never been on a cruise, but.....a friend goes semi-regularly and she said the last night is basically a free-for-all.  while some decks are, you know, for families and shiat, she was on a cruise where the open secret was whatever deck was for "adults only".  and as told to us, anything you wanted sexually was there. couple's roms, gay rooms, "where the boy's aren't" room, group rooms, "like to watch", etc.

dunno.  just saying.
 
2013-02-15 02:16:42 PM

ashinmytomatoes: crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?

I so agree. I never had any desire to go on a cruise and this incident just confirms it. There are nice enough beaches a 4-hour's drive from me and the French Quarter is 45 minutes away. I have no need to  cruise. I'll visit my cousin in Boston every other year or so and I'd love to go to Europe but cruises...feh. If I want to go to Mexico a friend of my mother's had a gorgeous house there and has invited me.


And that is has. Has a gorgeous house.
 
2013-02-15 02:17:14 PM

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?



When I finally make it to the Caribbean, it won't be on a cruise.

/Want to visit St. Martin/Maarten.
//And watch the planes come in while I enjoy an umbrella drink.

i248.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 02:17:35 PM

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


As far as I can tell, it's because
a) it's cheap
b) if you're old or fat, you don't have to walk far
 
2013-02-15 02:19:16 PM
That sucks, but they were already acting like they had survived the sinking of the Titanic beforehand.  A teary-eyed woman on "Good Morning America" said she felt homeless because her room was filled with stank, and that she felt the need to sue the company because of the emotional trauma she went through.  There I was watching this with my boyfriend who actually was homeless some years back.  We both busted out laughing, "Biatch please!"  They have the "horror stories" on Yahoo as well.  It's pretty pathetic.
 
2013-02-15 02:19:43 PM
Ok; we seriously need to isolate these people. One of them, obviously, picked up a cursed tiki somewhere on the cruise.

/ Damn you, tiki idol
 
2013-02-15 02:20:24 PM

The_Sponge: //And watch the planes come in while I enjoy an umbrella drink.


ther'es a youtube video of what has to be that airport, of dumbasses trying to remain standing during a jet takeoff.  it's pretty hairy.  one of the people takes a header and eats shiat on the sidewalk.
 
2013-02-15 02:20:41 PM

Bondith: Fuggin Bizzy: Hahahahahahaha!!! I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. How farking unlucky can you get? How often do commercial motorcoaches break down?

It's like Jonah. The universe has it out for someone that was on that cruise ship. Whoever it was, that person was on the bus that broke down. Later, we're going to hear about a fatal heart attack. Then we'll know.

*waits patiently*

No, first the tow truck that comes for the bus blows a tire.
Then the cab that comes to pick up whoever the universe is toying with plows into a tree.
Then the ambulance goes up a steep hill with the rear door unlatched and the person rides the gurney all the way down to the leech-infested swamp at the bottom.
*Then* they have a heart attack.
.
.
.
And then their funeral gets rained out.


After which it burns down, falls over and then sinks into a swamp.
 
2013-02-15 02:23:00 PM

crewsr: Can someone please explain the allure of cruises to me?  I just don't get it... I mean isn't just basically a big, floating casino/resort/hotel, except that you aren't allowed to leave the premises (cause you'll fall into the ocean and drown if you do)?  There's no beach, but there's a swimming pool with a slide.  There's no terrain, but there's a rock-climbing wall.  There's no shopping district, but there's some cute boutique stores...  I hear many of the rooms (sorry, 'cabins') are cramped and window-less and everybody is crammed together so there's no escaping crowds, lines, etc... Oh, and if the power goes out, you're trapped in a floating cesspool until help arrives.  Why would anyone want to do this?  What is the point?  Why not just go to Vegas or some sort of resort where you can get all that same stuff, plus the opportunity to maybe get away from some of the other tourists by simply leaving anytime you want to?


I'm about to go on my 9th cruise in a few weeks (not Carnival, that line is notoriously awful even when you don't end up smeared in feces) and the appeal is fairly simple:

1) Cruises stop at these things called "ports".  You don't just sail around for a few days, you get off the ship, arrange excursions or do whatever you want.  I've done scuba/snorkeling trips, booze cruise outings, kayaking, etc.  I've also skipped ports of call entirely and taken advantage of an empty ship to sit quietly by the pool deck.
2) Cruises are inexpensive compared other vacations.
3) Yes the cabins are small, and if you're in them for anything except showering/sleeping, you're doing it wrong.  Exterior cabins are slightly more expensive than the windowless interior ones.
4)  You don't have to decide where to eat, or pay for your food.  None of the "where do you want to eat tonight" conversations.  The quality varies from ship to ship, but I've never been disappointed by the food on board.  Liquor is the only thing that costs money (and yes, is how the cruise lines make their money).

To sum it up, cruises require very little thought.  I'm going on vacation to relax and do as little as possible, and that's the appeal of the cruise to me.  It's surely not for everybody.
 
2013-02-15 02:23:17 PM
I know a couple that was on that bus: I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and they still owe me money for fixing their laptop while they were gone. Dammit, I want my money!!
 
2013-02-15 02:24:18 PM
If I recall, they are giving these poor cursed travelers their money back and a voucher for a free cruise. Somehow, I think many of those vouchers will go unused.
 
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