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(Parenting Magazine)   Twenty baby names making a comeback. Wearing an onion on your belt soon to follow   (parenting.com) divider line 186
    More: Interesting, baby names, SSA  
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15630 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 10:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-15 09:56:52 AM
That's a fascinating article, and I'm glad they didn't succumb to the temptation of simply posting the names in question on the first page. It was important that they establish the basic situation, set the scene, so to speak. See, so many journalists and writers these days just have this desperate urgency about their writing. They just want to  get to the point and  provide information andstuff like that. But, see, Parenting knows you don't want that. Sadly, I could tell upon beginning the third paragraph that this article was of too lofty a prose for my feeble mind, that I was not worthy of the secret gems, the knowledge, that would be revealed to me within. I can only hope, though, that as one progressed further into the rich delta of its later sentences, one discovered that, happily, each name was given its very own page. I will trust that such was so.
 
2013-02-15 10:18:37 AM
My first born son shall be named Alfred or Harold.
 
2013-02-15 10:25:31 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's a fascinating article, and I'm glad they didn't succumb to the temptation of simply posting the names in question on the first page. It was important that they establish the basic situation, set the scene, so to speak. See, so many journalists and writers these days just have this desperate urgency about their writing. They just want to  get to the point and  provide information andstuff like that. But, see, Parenting knows you don't want that. Sadly, I could tell upon beginning the third paragraph that this article was of too lofty a prose for my feeble mind, that I was not worthy of the secret gems, the knowledge, that would be revealed to me within. I can only hope, though, that as one progressed further into the rich delta of its later sentences, one discovered that, happily, each name was given its very own page. I will trust that such was so.


I also appreciated the video.  Why take the time to read when I could simply watch?  Also key to the experience was the wide variety of colorful advertisements, particularly the animated ones that pop in off the left of the screen.  I'm easily bored, and seek engagement from the many different sources.  Today's web designers seem hyper-focused on highly targeted and subtle ad delivery.  Kudos Parenting magazine for bucking the trend!

The entire tableau was reminiscent of the heady days of the internet when Myspace reigned supreme.  How I miss them.
 
2013-02-15 10:41:48 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's a fascinating article, and I'm glad they didn't succumb to the temptation of simply posting the names in question on the first page. It was important that they establish the basic situation, set the scene, so to speak. See, so many journalists and writers these days just have this desperate urgency about their writing. They just want to  get to the point and  provide information andstuff like that. But, see, Parenting knows you don't want that. Sadly, I could tell upon beginning the third paragraph that this article was of too lofty a prose for my feeble mind, that I was not worthy of the secret gems, the knowledge, that would be revealed to me within. I can only hope, though, that as one progressed further into the rich delta of its later sentences, one discovered that, happily, each name was given its very own page. I will trust that such was so.


Thread closed, we have a winner.
 
2013-02-15 10:42:29 AM
 
2013-02-15 10:42:40 AM
Where's Nicky and Vinnie and Tommy?.
 
2013-02-15 10:43:45 AM
Oliver

The problem with that name is that I can only hear it in Eva Gabor's accent.
 
2013-02-15 10:44:04 AM
I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there.  If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself.  Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.
 
2013-02-15 10:44:04 AM
<b>Pocket Ninja and Babwa Wawa</b>
I'm not going to try to continue the prose, so I'll bring it down to my level.

Der gawd daym article is a gawd damnin clickershow.
 
2013-02-15 10:45:58 AM
I saw the name Silas on the list and was surprised because I always considered Silas to be an awful name. On the other hand,  I'd name a kid Silas before Aiden or anything that rhymes with Aiden.

"Aiden - Meaning: Diagnosis of fashionable mental disorder inevitable, whether present in patient or not."
 
2013-02-15 10:46:52 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's a fascinating article, and I'm glad they didn't succumb to the temptation of simply posting the names in question on the first page. It was important that they establish the basic situation, set the scene, so to speak. See, so many journalists and writers these days just have this desperate urgency about their writing. They just want to  get to the point and  provide information andstuff like that. But, see, Parenting knows you don't want that. Sadly, I could tell upon beginning the third paragraph that this article was of too lofty a prose for my feeble mind, that I was not worthy of the secret gems, the knowledge, that would be revealed to me within. I can only hope, though, that as one progressed further into the rich delta of its later sentences, one discovered that, happily, each name was given its very own page. I will trust that such was so.


Your comment on the article was fascinating until I realized you never separated the words andstuff.
 
2013-02-15 10:47:15 AM
If I have a baby, I will call him Fruit Smoothie and raise him to be a prize fighter.  Not a boxer mind you, but someone capable of punching the living shiate out of prizes on the Price is Right.
 
2013-02-15 10:47:55 AM

erveek: I saw the name Silas on the list and was surprised because I always considered Silas to be an awful name. On the other hand,  I'd name a kid Silas before Aiden or anything that rhymes with Aiden.

"Aiden - Meaning: Diagnosis of fashionable mental disorder inevitable, whether present in patient or not."


I'd call my name Titus Magnus. I have a thing for bombastic names like that.
 
2013-02-15 10:49:00 AM
Auto load music or video. Instant close.
 
2013-02-15 10:49:49 AM
Fark Name Thread!

La-a. YOU PRONOUNCE THE DASH LADASHA LOL!!

My cousin's uncle's sister's proctologist's wife is a teacher and she had twins Orangejello and Lemonjello

"I gave my kid a traditional Gaelic name that is completely unpronounceable. Fearghas. It means 'breaks terrible wind'"

-aiden/ayden
 
2013-02-15 10:49:50 AM
Whenever I hear "Jasper," all I can think of is the old Tom & Jerry cartoons.

/If you don't get the reference, get off my lawn.
 
2013-02-15 10:50:57 AM

Warthog: I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there.  If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself.  Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.


All my kids' names are on there (as well as several of the finalists we didn't choose), but they were all named 5 years ago or more.  Do I have to shoot myself, or do I get a "I liked them before they got big" exemption?
 
2013-02-15 10:50:58 AM
Still no Lunesta, Boniva or Valtrexia I see. Im going to name my son Completrius and he will be and NFL reciever
 
2013-02-15 10:51:02 AM
gawd damnin clickershow

Top 10 Searched Baby Girl Names:

Isabella
Millie
Sookie
Ann
Ella
Betty
Ellie
Emma
Eithne
Charlotte
Top 10 Searched Baby Boy Names:

Jacob
Max
Liam
Ted
Mo
Aiden
Andy
Bertie
Ned
Gus
 
2013-02-15 10:51:54 AM
A friend of mine named their kid Rafe.

Not as in Raf-ael, or prounced RAF-FI

Prounced rayf.  Like Rape, with a lisp.

Per google, In Hebrew it means "weak, limp"

Just wanted to share that, in case you're looking for suggestions on how to ensure your kid needs counseling.

Props to Pocket Ninja and Babwa Wawa for being awesome.
 
2013-02-15 10:52:41 AM
For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.

Gladys
Norbert
Gingham
Micajah
Zedock
Spatula
Kinkajou
Fromunda
Rizzuto
 
2013-02-15 10:53:26 AM
We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.
 
2013-02-15 10:53:52 AM

A couple months ago, I was at a birthday party held in a "Tumble and Cheer" school.

These were some of the names on the wall:

Cambree
Karli
Baylee
Jaslynn
Maccie
Balei
Addison
Izzabelle
Kasey
Jadyn
Abigayle
Kinley
Kinsley
Ryleigh
Kyler
Dravyn
Jacelyn
Jacelynn
Kolie
Khloe (2)
Caryss
Blayse
Karsyn
Jaylynn
Kennadi
Brooklyn
Rylynn


Luckily, most of these girls won't have to worry about people misspelling their names since strip club patrons don't usually tip with checks.

And if you read Deadspin - yes, these names were printed there first...but I wanted to share this sign of civilization's impending collapse with my Fark family.
 
2013-02-15 10:54:53 AM
Wow, I have two very young cousins with the names Hazel and Jasper, respectively. This still makes me laugh a little, because up until last month I had a beloved old cat named Hazel, and my favorite betta fish was Jasper. (May they both rest in peace.) I had no idea those names were trendy!

Eh, still better than the trends involving names like Mackenzie and Aiden. Most of the "old fashioned" monickers are quite pretty.
 
2013-02-15 10:55:22 AM

Prank Monkey: For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.


Because parenting is an adult site, obviously.
 
2013-02-15 10:56:00 AM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.


His middle name could be "Willtravel"
 
2013-02-15 10:56:21 AM
i1119.photobucket.com

Obligitaory.
 
2013-02-15 10:56:52 AM

Sybarite: Oliver

The problem with that name is that I can only hear it in Eva Gabor's accent.


I hear Richard Hammond screaming it.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 10:57:25 AM

erveek: I saw the name Silas on the list and was surprised because I always considered Silas to be an awful name. On the other hand,  I'd name a kid Silas before Aiden or anything that rhymes with Aiden.

"Aiden - Meaning: Diagnosis of fashionable mental disorder inevitable, whether present in patient or not."


There's a beagle in my neighborhood named Aiden - perfect for him. A human? Not so much.
 
2013-02-15 10:57:29 AM
Clara
Eli
Naomi
Charlie
Alice
Henry
Olive
Leo
Lillian
Jasper
Amelia
Everett
Nora
Silas
Adeline
Max
Hazel
Owen
Stella
Oliver

There. No need to click through seven pages.
 
2013-02-15 10:57:42 AM
So are stripper and slut names becoming less popular? Where will these girls come from in the future? "Clara" will never be thought of as a naughty, naughty girl.
 
2013-02-15 10:57:58 AM

Billzebub: Obligitaory.


Here's a direct link to the same image.

Sorry about that.

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/5/5426/original/700.jpg?2506
 
2013-02-15 10:58:08 AM
Nice, most of the girls names are all variants of Elizabeth....
 
2013-02-15 10:59:25 AM

Prank Monkey: For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.


Because if you're Parenting, you aren't working, cube jocky.
 
2013-02-15 10:59:27 AM

busy chillin': whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.

His middle name could be "Willtravel"


Eh, I vetoed my wife's first two names for our daughter: Pippin and Genevieve.

\gag
 
2013-02-15 11:00:08 AM
"I always thought 'Dipshiat Knight' had a real ring to it."
 
2013-02-15 11:00:24 AM
When my daughter was born the nurses were almost fainting when we gave her a correctly spelled name in the top 50 list that has been around for more than 50 year.

We were married and that made it even more shocking to them.

As a bonus we even have health insurance.
 
2013-02-15 11:00:25 AM

CygnusDarius: Where's Nicky and Vinnie and Tommy?.


Touring with Motley Crue
 
2013-02-15 11:00:35 AM

Warthog: I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there.  If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself.  Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.


Mr. Abreucantina and I consider it a badge of honor when people comment that they don't see the names we've chosen for our children used often. That was kind of the point.
 
2013-02-15 11:01:01 AM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.


If his middle name was "Vetinari", you'd win all the internets ever.
 
2013-02-15 11:01:06 AM

Onkel Buck: Still no Lunesta, Boniva or Valtrexia I see. Im going to name my son Completrius and he will be and NFL reciever


I hear "Raymond Luxury" is making a comeback, though most people mispronounce it.
 
2013-02-15 11:01:10 AM
I wonder if there is any actual statistical data or if Parenting is doing their best to change the trend?

A majority of the girls in my 4th grade sons class have stripper names.
 
2013-02-15 11:02:14 AM
I have twins.  We named them Bweryang and Bob.
 
2013-02-15 11:04:15 AM
My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig
 
2013-02-15 11:04:25 AM

Teknowaffle: Fark Name Thread!

La-a. YOU PRONOUNCE THE DASH LADASHA LOL!!

My cousin's uncle's sister's proctologist's wife is a teacher and she had twins Orangejello and Lemonjello

"I gave my kid a traditional Gaelic name that is completely unpronounceable. Fearghas. It means 'breaks terrible wind'"

-aiden/ayden


How about "Detroit?" Pronouced "Dee-twa..." it's French!
 
2013-02-15 11:05:25 AM

Billzebub: [i1119.photobucket.com image 300x251]

Obligitaory.


I typically don't post oblig pics, opting rather for the typed "ohsnapflowchart.jpg" option. But that one - that one I will never get tired of.

I mean, Sinutab, man.
 
2013-02-15 11:05:34 AM

cman: My first born son shall be named Alfred or Harold.


Bah!  Go with Ebeneezer. or Habakuk
 
2013-02-15 11:06:29 AM

wambu: So are stripper and slut names becoming less popular? Where will these girls come from in the future? "Clara" will never be thought of as a naughty, naughty girl.


Yeah, well they used to say the same thing about "Hester"
 
2013-02-15 11:06:47 AM
"Hashtag AxLord"

/extra capitals = extra coolness
 
2013-02-15 11:08:05 AM
Aiden is helping out
Daryn is quite brave
Colin is on the phone
Carolyn is out singing in the neighborhood
Karen is compassionate
and

Sharon is a selfish biatch
 
2013-02-15 11:08:24 AM

dickfreckle: But that one - that one I will never get tired of.


Also, Rick Santorum's family. That sh*t just never gets old.
 
2013-02-15 11:08:52 AM

GalFriday: My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig



You'll have to start a rumor that your fourth child's name is "Madness."
 
2013-02-15 11:08:56 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's a fascinating article, and I'm glad they didn't succumb to the temptation of simply posting the names in question on the first page. It was important that they establish the basic situation, set the scene, so to speak. See, so many journalists and writers these days just have this desperate urgency about their writing. They just want to  get to the point and  provide information andstuff like that. But, see, Parenting knows you don't want that. Sadly, I could tell upon beginning the third paragraph that this article was of too lofty a prose for my feeble mind, that I was not worthy of the secret gems, the knowledge, that would be revealed to me within. I can only hope, though, that as one progressed further into the rich delta of its later sentences, one discovered that, happily, each name was given its very own page. I will trust that such was so.


tl;dr
 
2013-02-15 11:09:08 AM

A Shambling Mound: Clara
Eli
Naomi
Charlie
Alice
Henry

Olive
Leo
Lillian
Jasper
Amelia
Everett
Nora
Silas
Adeline
Max
Hazel
Owen
Stella

Oliver

There. No need to click through seven pages.

Olive and Oliver?

That's it, my kid is going to be Olivest.
 
2013-02-15 11:11:49 AM

rufus-t-firefly: A couple months ago, I was at a birthday party held in a "Tumble and Cheer" school.

These were some of the names on the wall:

Cambree
Karli
Baylee
Jaslynn
Maccie
Balei
Addison
Izzabelle
Kasey
Jadyn
Abigayle
Kinley
Kinsley
Ryleigh
Kyler
Dravyn
Jacelyn
Jacelynn
Kolie
Khloe (2)
Caryss
Blayse
Karsyn
Jaylynn
Kennadi
Brooklyn
Rylynn


The Old One is reborn!
 
2013-02-15 11:13:12 AM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.


So would he be a "one man, one vote" kind of guy?
 
2013-02-15 11:13:15 AM
I plan on giving my children good traditional Robonian names: Turner, Hammerette, and Steve.
 
2013-02-15 11:13:33 AM
Once again Biggus Dickus doesn't make the list.

Don't you dare laugh!
 
2013-02-15 11:14:43 AM
Isn't Olive just the nick for Olivia-- which every 4th girl under 10 is named? Also, my 2nd grade daughter has an Olivia, Olyvia, and O'livea in her class. YRLY
 
2013-02-15 11:16:53 AM
My last name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced so we gave our kids easy old school names.

My daughter's name is Ella. And once I was asked how to spell it. Really?

Ellqah - the q is silent. duh.

just kidding.
 
2013-02-15 11:17:23 AM
Everett, Jasper, and Alice are all Cullens, as in the vampires from Twilight.  Think that could have any influence on their recent surge in popularity?

My maternal grandmother's name was Hazel.  My mother assured me that Grandma would haunt me forever if I named my daughter Hazel.  She hated her name.
 
2013-02-15 11:17:47 AM

Well I use Mac/Linux...: rufus-t-firefly: A couple months ago, I was at a birthday party held in a "Tumble and Cheer" school.

These were some of the names on the wall:

Cambree
Karli
Baylee
Jaslynn
Maccie
Balei
Addison
Izzabelle
Kasey
Jadyn
Abigayle
Kinley
Kinsley
Ryleigh
Kyler
Dravyn
Jacelyn
Jacelynn
Kolie
Khloe (2)
Caryss
Blayse
Karsyn
Jaylynn
Kennadi
Brooklyn
Rylynn

The Old One is reborn!


georgetown.edublogs.org

Oh, Rylynn?
 
2013-02-15 11:24:18 AM

rufus-t-firefly: These were some of the names on the wall:


There seams to be a theem heer, but I can't put mi fingre on it. I don't know y.
 
2013-02-15 11:24:39 AM

dugitman: Isn't Olive just the nick for Olivia-- which every 4th girl under 10 is named? Also, my 2nd grade daughter has an Olivia, Olyvia, and O'livea in her class. YRLY


thumbs.myopera.com
 
2013-02-15 11:24:48 AM
This article is an excellent example of why you should never trust baby name lists for the etymology of names.  If it's not a glaringly obvious latinate name, you're lucky if their meaning wasn't pulled out of someone's ass.

rufus-t-firefly: Sybarite: Oliver

The problem with that name is that I can only hear it in Eva Gabor's accent.

I hear Richard Hammond screaming it.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 750x600]


This.

Our dog came to us with the name Oliver, and we got used to it before we could decide on a replacement.  Now we're always shouting "Oliverrrr!" when we call him.
 
2013-02-15 11:25:03 AM
The rules to avoid letting everyone know the parents of your child are either idiots or twats:

1. Do not give your kid a name with a meaning in your native language.  This makes it clear you're an idiot, and is excessively cruel to the kid because it's what people making fun of other kids call "almost too easy".  Summer, Lily, Buck, etc.

1a. Specifically regarding "virtue names".  In the late 1700s among the puritans giving a child a name that was a virtue or quality was regarded as good luck and giving them something to aspire to.  Since the 1960s these names have been rechristened "stripper names", because they are the easy pseudonyms most commonly employed by various US sex workers and basically no one else.

2. Do not give your kid a name that is an intentional misspelling of another common name e.g. Antwaine, Mychelie, etc.  This is the opposite problem of number 1, every time they try to do something adult like sign into the doctor's office or register at the DMV it's going to end in something from embarassment (a mispronounced name) to actually being screwed (their accountant automatically writing down the correct spelling on their taxes and the documents being misfiled, resulting in an IRS penalty).

3. If you're going to completely make some shiat up, first type the name, and every variant spelling you can think of, into Google search, to make sure it's not a: Brand name, Proper word of some kind, Common name in another language for the opposite of your child's gender, etc.

4. Do not intentionally give your child the name for the wrong gender.  It's great that you're progressive and are past notions of constrained sexuality and all that, but if you use your kid as a prop to make a point about how superior your politics are to everyone else's you are literally the worst kind of human being on the planet, even the Nazis are more virtuous than you, because at least they weren't treating their own  offspring as subhuman creatures with no right to make their own political decisions.

5.  If you come up with a name and think "oh, that's clever", Do.  Not.  Use.  That.  The kid has to use the name literally his entire life, or until he's 18 and can legally change it.  Is it going to still be funny the thirty-thousandth time in six months?  No.  No, it will not.

6.  If naming your child after a place or common surname (e.g. Austin, which is both), make sure that (a) it's not a place you intend to live at any point and (b) you actually teach your kid where the place is or who the surname belongs to before he gets into school so that he's not confused and/or embarrassed by ignorance on a regular basis.

//I think that about covers everything that will bring out the automatic "wow, your parents were right twats, weren't they?" reflex when someone introduces themselves.
 
2013-02-15 11:25:39 AM

VoodooTaco: A friend of mine named their kid Rafe.

Not as in Raf-ael, or prounced RAF-FI

Prounced rayf.  Like Rape, with a lisp.

Per google, In Hebrew it means "weak, limp"

Just wanted to share that, in case you're looking for suggestions on how to ensure your kid needs counseling.

Props to Pocket Ninja and Babwa Wawa for being awesome.


For added extra embarrassment, 'Rafe' is how British aristos pronounce Ralph (as in Ralph Fiennes, look up how posh his family is).  So if they're looking to be posh they spelled it wrong too.

My husband's family is hiding a Moses and a Suffer-Ye-Not in their genealogical briar patch.  I've got nothing more exceptional than a trio of Belles (1 aunt, 1 grandma, 1 great aunt).
 
2013-02-15 11:26:55 AM

Prank Monkey: For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.

Gladys GLaDOS
Norbert
Gingham
Micajah
Zedock
Spatula
Kinkajou
Fromunda
Rizzuto

 
2013-02-15 11:27:40 AM
http://www.fark.com/comments/7594357/82530794#c82530794" target="_blank" data-cke-saved-href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7594357/82530794#c8 2530794">Warthog: I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there. If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself. Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.

Night Court? Props to you!

 

A Shambling Mound: Clara
Eli
Naomi
Charlie
Alice
Henry
Olive
Leo
Lillian
Jasper
Amelia
Everett
Nora
Silas
Adeline
Max
Hazel
Owen
Stella
Oliver

There. No need to click through seven pages.



I'm gonna David Cassidy you: "I think I love you...." Thanks for saving me.

/Every time I introduce the kids, I get asked, "What are their REAL names?" and I have to explain that the names I just said ARE the names on their birth certificates. Sigh.

whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.


"Waitforit."
 
2013-02-15 11:29:04 AM

MightySlam: Prank Monkey: For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.

Gladys GLaDOS
Norbert
Gingham
Micajah
Zedock
Spatula
Kinkajou
Fromunda
Rizzuto


WINdows.
 
2013-02-15 11:31:57 AM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: We briefly considered Havelock for my son's name.  I thought it sounded pretty cool.


It does sound cool...but then he'd spend a lot of his time telling people "Don't let me detain you" and watching them worry their asses off wondering what precisely he meant by that.

/ Pterry...him diamond
 
2013-02-15 11:35:04 AM
We used to take pride in picking unusual names, too.  However, our youngest's name, Amelia, showed up on this stupid list.  GAH!  We always made it a point to pick names that were fairly uncommon.  (Given that Mr. StewMcG and I both have pretty common first names.)  Imagine our shock when our oldest, Julia (which was pretty uncommon 17+ years ago) started kindergarten... with 3 other Julia's.
 
2013-02-15 11:36:29 AM
fark, Naomi made the list. That's one of my daughters' names. She is 5.5yo though, so I didn't get it off any lists. Does that count?
 
2013-02-15 11:44:27 AM
Ryleigh

Glad to see you guys aren't slipping with your Mythos jokes, but this one is far more non-Euclidean than Rylynn.

I seriously hope little Ryleigh grows up to be a nerd and a Lovecraft fan, because if she did, that'd be the coolest name ever.
 
2013-02-15 11:45:40 AM
 One of my favorite names is on that list. We picked it because it works well in both Spain and the USA and the kid won't have problems at school. I'm still naming my kid what I want. Damn you, slide show. Damn you.
 
2013-02-15 11:46:04 AM
1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-02-15 11:47:52 AM
VoodooTaco: "A friend of mine named their kid Rafe.... Prounced rayf"

It's probably less likely to be mis-pronounced than if they'd spelled it "Ralph" (as in "Ralph Fiennes").
But ... yeah that looks dodgy.
 
2013-02-15 11:50:29 AM

VoodooTaco: A friend of mine named their kid Rafe.

Not as in Raf-ael, or prounced RAF-FI

Prounced rayf.  Like Rape, with a lisp.

Per google, In Hebrew it means "weak, limp"

Just wanted to share that, in case you're looking for suggestions on how to ensure your kid needs counseling.

Props to Pocket Ninja and Babwa Wawa for being awesome.


Ralph is traditionally pronounced that same way - not "Ralf" but "Rafe", particularly in Britain. In Old English a lot of L's are silent. Golf, for instance, is traditionally pronounced "goaf" (and still is in some parts of Scotland). They probably just wanted to not have the kid called "Ralph".
 
2013-02-15 11:50:56 AM

ringersol: VoodooTaco: "A friend of mine named their kid Rafe.... Prounced rayf"

It's probably less likely to be mis-pronounced than if they'd spelled it "Ralph" (as in "Ralph Fiennes").
But ... yeah that looks dodgy.



I grew up down the street from a girl whose brother was named Triton. They called him "Trite" for short. I don't think the parents had a clue.
 
2013-02-15 11:51:04 AM

Liliac_Hill: Everett, Jasper, and Alice are all Cullens, as in the vampires from Twilight. Think that could have any influence on their recent surge in popularity?


Ouch. My brother has a set of 8 year old twins and one of them is named Jasper. I'd hate to think that by the time he gets into high school and tries talking to girls that they'll first ask him if he was named for a character in the books.

/glad that my nickname name is a traditional immigrant name from my mother's family and that it's very rare to encounter another Katja anywhere else
//my legal name that dad insisted upon was the most popular girls name for my generation
///45 Catherines/Kathryns in my high school graduating class. 8 of them were Catherine Anns (Ann being my middle, of course)
 
2013-02-15 11:51:13 AM
I know a couple who are pretty sure they're not only the most dedicated religious folk, but the most clever and hip dedicated religious folk so they named their first child Genesis. They plan to name the next one Eden.

I bought them a "My First Stock" from brass polish and tassle companies. The stars are just aligning for that future, I believe.
 
2013-02-15 11:52:48 AM

busy chillin': My last name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced so we gave our kids easy old school names.

My daughter's name is Ella. And once I was asked how to spell it. Really?

Ellqah - the q is silent. duh.

just kidding.


Hmmm...I detect a fan of George Carlin and/or Tom Lehrer.
 
2013-02-15 11:53:24 AM
Despite my swearing to never have kids I actually have a mental list of baby names that I like and mentally scratch them off when I see that they're trendy. Like a few years ago, in the same year, girls were being named Charlotte and Sophie left and right. Waiting for Elizabeth to make a surge in popularity again.
 
2013-02-15 11:54:41 AM

Anne.Uumellmahaye: I know a couple who are pretty sure they're not only the most dedicated religious folk, but the most clever and hip dedicated religious folk so they named their first child Genesis. They plan to name the next one Eden.


I've known 2 Genesis(es) in my life. Both of them were insufferable, awful people. Only because they were raised by religious nut jobs though.
 
2013-02-15 11:57:03 AM
I like a lot of the names on these lists.  However, because I grew up with a name that was immensely popular the year I was born, I'd also like my future kids to avoid that annoying one-of-many feeling.

The challenge is to find a name that's aesthetically pleasing, not obnoxiously "original", but unlikely to become trendy anytime soon.
 
2013-02-15 11:59:24 AM

ciberido: Onkel Buck: Still no Lunesta, Boniva or Valtrexia I see. Im going to name my son Completrius and he will be and NFL reciever

I hear "Raymond Luxury" is making a comeback, though most people mispronounce it.


Throat  Wobbler Mangrove would like a word with you.
 
2013-02-15 12:03:40 PM
don't name yer kid Hazel.  they'll grow up to be a maid.

www.dvdtalk.com
 
2013-02-15 12:04:14 PM
Agamemnon

Auggie for short
 
2013-02-15 12:05:15 PM

MightySlam: Prank Monkey: For some reason Parenting is blocked at work. WTF? But I will guess the most popular names.

Gladys  GLaDOS
Norbert
Gingham
Micajah
Zedock
Spatula
Kinkajou
Fromunda
Rizzuto


Well, you've got the perfect practical joke for the kid's birthday, then.
 
2013-02-15 12:06:06 PM
And, of course,
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-15 12:08:54 PM
hopefully the trend of aiden and names ending in aiden (braydon, caydon, etc.) is coming to an end
 
2013-02-15 12:12:40 PM
syzygy whizz:
Hmmm...I detect a fan of George Carlin and/or Tom Lehrer.

I am a fan of Carlin but didn't know that was one his jokes. I came up with that idea about 15 years ago because I am smart ass.

My other two name jokes were naming my son Bob but it be pronounced Don. So in class they would take attendance "Bob, Bob are you here"

Son raises hand "Yes, but it is pronounced Don"

And I wanted to name my son J3 to mess with the Iowa Basic's scantron form in elementary school. But someone told me you can't have a number as a name. And Three defeats the purpose. So I made my music moniker J3.


CSB?
 
2013-02-15 12:15:02 PM
My friends' kids names from the past couple years:

Drake
Dante
Margot
Linea
Kayden
Dagny

Guess the classics are dead.

/no they're not hipsters
 
2013-02-15 12:18:58 PM
Obligatory (if outdated).
 
2013-02-15 12:20:57 PM
My ears are burning. What's going on in this thread? :P

Kidding. The weird, unnatural thing I find is that my real(tm) name is somehow popular these days. Creeps me right the fark out. Imagine being the only Arglebargleshoe for 30 years, and then suddenly you're seeing other Arglebargleshoes everywhere! It's freaky, man!
 
2013-02-15 12:22:43 PM

KatjaMouse: Despite my swearing to never have kids I actually have a mental list of baby names that I like and mentally scratch them off when I see that they're trendy. Like a few years ago, in the same year, girls were being named Charlotte and Sophie left and right. Waiting for Elizabeth to make a surge in popularity again.


Hah! Same! :) I'm still dismayed that Sophia and Olivia got popular. And don't get me started on Alex (goddammitsomuch!).
 
2013-02-15 12:23:16 PM
I hear "Sue" makes an excellent boy's name.
 
2013-02-15 12:24:31 PM

Spiralmonkey: For added extra embarrassment, 'Rafe' is how British aristos pronounce Ralph (as in Ralph Fiennes, look up how posh his family is). So if they're looking to be posh they spelled it wrong too.


It's like the name Taliaferro, which is supposed to be pronounced "Tolliver". If you pronounced it the way it was spelled or spelled it the way it was pronounced everyone knew you were puttin' on airs.
 
2013-02-15 12:24:33 PM
I tell this CSB every name thread so for the noobs here we go:

My ex gf is an attorney that does child support enforcement for the county. She had a case where the child's first name was Ninety-Five South.

An old friend of mine named his kids Patience Freedom, Elijah Dale, and Peace Prosperity. Two of those kids now have criminal records, one of them will be out of prison this June

/Told ya, CSB
 
2013-02-15 12:25:44 PM
I wanted to name my sons after the sons of Jacob.  I was going to start with the names least likely to get their ass kicked figuring the older ones might help look out for the unfortunately named.

Dan
Joseph
Benjamin
Reuben
Levi
Asher
Zebulun
Simeon
Judah
Napthali
Issachar
and Gad (seriously)

But then the wife had an opinion...
 
2013-02-15 12:25:48 PM

give me doughnuts: GalFriday: My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig


You'll have to start a rumor that your fourth child's name is "Madness."



I already have a child named Madness.  He lives in our house, in the middle of our street.
 
2013-02-15 12:27:06 PM

busy chillin': My last name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced so we gave our kids easy old school names.

My daughter's name is Ella. And once I was asked how to spell it. Really?

Ellqah - the q is silent. duh.

just kidding.


You forgot the 4 'M's

And thus missed out on her chance to become a well-known Dutch author
 
2013-02-15 12:28:31 PM
Oh, and my favorite naming CSB, I had a friend in college whose hippie father wanted a strong, manly name for his son. So he got a pouch of furthic runes (which some people use for divination purposes, natch) and pulled out three stones. They had the "N" "TH" and "O" runes on them, so his son became "Thon".
 
2013-02-15 12:28:42 PM
theorellior:

It's like the name Taliaferro, which is supposed to be pronounced "Tolliver". If you pronounced it the way it was spelled or spelled it the way it was pronounced everyone knew you were puttin' on airs.


I didn't know that. Had a friend with the name Taliaferro. We pronounced how it looks.
 
2013-02-15 12:30:11 PM

ciberido: I already have a child named Madness. He lives in our house, in the middle of our street.


Is your wife so house proud?
 
2013-02-15 12:30:45 PM

busy chillin': gawd damnin clickershow

Top 10 Searched Baby Girl Names:

Isabella
Millie
Sookie
Ann
Ella
Betty
Ellie
Emma
Eithne
Charlotte
Top 10 Searched Baby Boy Names:

Jacob
Max
Liam
Ted
Mo
Aiden
Andy
Bertie
Ned
Gus


Yeah, most boys with those names would get their ass kicked in my school.  Then again, it would be Max or Gus doing the ass kicking.
 
2013-02-15 12:32:24 PM

ciberido: busy chillin': My last name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced so we gave our kids easy old school names.

My daughter's name is Ella. And once I was asked how to spell it. Really?

Ellqah - the q is silent. duh.

just kidding.

You forgot the 4 'M's

And thus missed out on her chance to become a well-known Dutch author


had to google it...F*ck me. I am NOT clever/original at all. All these things have been made up by people already. DANGIT!

but I guess it is still kind of cool.
 
2013-02-15 12:32:35 PM

theorellior: Oh, and my favorite naming CSB, I had a friend in college whose hippie father wanted a strong, manly name for his son. So he got a pouch of furthic runes (which some people use for divination purposes, natch) and pulled out three stones. They had the "N" "TH" and "O" runes on them, so his son became "Thon".


My high school sweetheart talked about naming her son, if she ever had one, Thon. She got the idea from a Toyota-thon commercial. She got in touch with me through Facebook a few years ago and low and behold she had a son...named Norman, after his dad. Im sure the kid would have preferred Thon
 
2013-02-15 12:35:35 PM

theorellior: Spiralmonkey: For added extra embarrassment, 'Rafe' is how British aristos pronounce Ralph (as in Ralph Fiennes, look up how posh his family is). So if they're looking to be posh they spelled it wrong too.

It's like the name Taliaferro, which is supposed to be pronounced "Tolliver". If you pronounced it the way it was spelled or spelled it the way it was pronounced everyone knew you were puttin' on airs.


"Featherstonehaugh" -- pronounced "Fanshaw" -- remains my ultimate favorite.
 
2013-02-15 12:36:51 PM

Onkel Buck: Im sure the kid would have preferred Thon.


Thon was perfectly happy with his name, but he probably got a lot of questions about it, because he told the story pretty soon after I met him. Before that, when friends would mention his name, I thought he was Vietnamese or Thai. Nope, a russet-haired pasty white boy.
 
2013-02-15 12:37:12 PM

theorellior: Oh, and my favorite naming CSB, I had a friend in college whose hippie father wanted a strong, manly name for his son. So he got a pouch of furthic runes (which some people use for divination purposes, natch) and pulled out three stones. They had the "N" "TH" and "O" runes on them, so his son became "Thon".


Did the Thon have a thithter?
 
2013-02-15 12:37:30 PM
probably have a kid named Aiden each
a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2013-02-15 12:39:30 PM

Jim_Callahan: 4. Do not intentionally give your child the name for the wrong gender.  It's great that you're progressive and are past notions of constrained sexuality and all that, but if you use your kid as a prop to make a point about how superior your politics are to everyone else's you are literally the worst kind of human being on the planet, even the Nazis are more virtuous than you, because at least they weren't treating their ownoffspring as subhuman creatures with no right to make their own political decisions.


Names, like everything else in this world, change over time.  Specifically, names change which gender they "belong to," at least in the United States.  Look at a list of what were the most popular names for girls and boys in the 1960s, then compare that to a list of names from the 1980s and the (first decade of the) 2000s.  You'll see that a lot of names which are now considered "girls' names" were "boys' names" a few decades ago, and vice-versa.

Despite your paranoid fantasies, giving a child a name that "belongs" to the other gender is neither uncommon, nor something that only "progressive" parents do.


5.  If you come up with a name and think "oh, that's clever", Do.  Not.  Use.  That.  The kid has to use the name literally his entire life, or until he's 18 and can legally change it.  Is it going to still be funny the thirty-thousandth time in six months?  No.  No, it will not.

It may vary from state to state, but in general it is entirely possible to change your name before age 18.  You just need the permission of your parents to do so.  (Again, I am speaking specifically of how things work in the USA.)
 
2013-02-15 12:39:34 PM

Snarfangel: Did the Thon have a thithter?


Yeth, her name wath Thelethtine.

/not really
 
2013-02-15 12:39:38 PM

abreucantina: Teknowaffle: Fark Name Thread!

La-a. YOU PRONOUNCE THE DASH LADASHA LOL!!

My cousin's uncle's sister's proctologist's wife is a teacher and she had twins Orangejello and Lemonjello

"I gave my kid a traditional Gaelic name that is completely unpronounceable. Fearghas. It means 'breaks terrible wind'"

-aiden/ayden

How about "Detroit?" Pronouced "Dee-twa..." it's French!


You know you say that as a joke, but those names are in our database as prospective students that may apply here.
 
2013-02-15 12:44:34 PM
I was unaware that my middle name had a meaning. I figured it was just a random old-timey name, since my paternal great grandfather had it. "Wild boar" doesn't fit me at all.

Now I officially dislike my first, middle, and last names. Thanks, Dad for giving me an ancient English surname for a first name, "wild boar", and an impossibly misspelled last name.

/Why, yes, I was awkward in high school. And college. And as an adult.
 
2013-02-15 12:46:14 PM

GalFriday: My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig


I rarely actually LOL.  I am going to flagrantly steal this in the future and will never give you credit.
 
2013-02-15 12:48:02 PM

Tricky Chicken: I wanted to name my sons after the sons of Jacob.  I was going to start with the names least likely to get their ass kicked figuring the older ones might help look out for the unfortunately named.

Dan
Joseph
Benjamin
Reuben
Levi
Asher
Zebulun
Simeon
Judah
Napthali
Issachar
and Gad (seriously)


Don't name your child "Zebulun" or else he might end up living in Georgia or North Carolina.
 
2013-02-15 12:50:06 PM
Anyone who names their child Sookie should have their appropriate tubes snipped.
 
2013-02-15 12:50:45 PM

ggecko: busy chillin': gawd damnin clickershow

Top 10 Searched Baby Girl Names:

Isabella
Millie
Sookie
Ann
Ella
Betty
Ellie
Emma
Eithne
Charlotte
Top 10 Searched Baby Boy Names:

Jacob
Max
Liam
Ted
Mo
Aiden
Andy
Bertie
Ned
Gus

Yeah, most boys with those names would get their ass kicked in my school.  Then again, it would be Max or Gus doing the ass kicking.


Name your boy "Zod," then others will kneel before him.  But he might end up in prison.
 
2013-02-15 12:54:03 PM
No Tegan, so I'm happy.
 
2013-02-15 01:01:34 PM
Link

A fun site for baby names.
 
2013-02-15 01:05:30 PM
Have friends with two little kids with the, IMHO, awesome names "Max" and "Stella", so getting a kick, etc. ...

CSB1:  Mom knew a woman whose name was "Pajama" - pronounced "Pay-ja-MAY"

CSB2:  Was designer for an online game that allowed players to create their own in game names.  Since I'm not congenitally stupid, we only allowed them to select from a list of first and last names (no text entry - therein lies madness).  So, I headed to the Census websight and tracked down their lists of all first and last names registered in the U.S.  There are about 13k last names, and roughly 50k first names (I'm going from memory here, but the numbers are approximately correct - maybe it's 13k first and 50k last).  Again, not being stupid, I forced myself to read through both lists, searching for names to delete from the "official" lists as innapropriate for our game.  I had to delete many, many names. (I don't care if it's a 'legit' name, you're not naming your character "Rape Cockburn")

/always wanted a son to be able to name him "Duncan Idaho" (Duncan's a family name, but the Idaho would confuse the rest of the clan), but, alas, no women want to nurture my seed.
//plus, his initials would be "DIC" which would rock.
 
2013-02-15 01:09:45 PM

Tricky Chicken: GalFriday: My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig

I rarely actually LOL.  I am going to flagrantly steal this in the future and will never give you credit.


Since you have given me fair warning, we are good.
 
2013-02-15 01:09:53 PM
One of the names listed is my son's middle name.  I wouldn't have called it old-fashioned myself, as I thought it was always a somewhat common name.
 
2013-02-15 01:11:53 PM

theorellior: Oh, and my favorite naming CSB, I had a friend in college whose hippie father wanted a strong, manly name for his son. So he got a pouch of furthic runes (which some people use for divination purposes, natch) and pulled out three stones. They had the "N" "TH" and "O" runes on them, so his son became "Thon".


Where did you go to college?  Because I, too, went to college with a guy named Thon.
 
2013-02-15 01:13:24 PM

blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list


Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.
 
2013-02-15 01:19:11 PM
I have 1 year old twin girls.  When the Mrs. and I were deciding on names, she loooooved the name Analise.  She and her friends thought it was so cute until I reminded them it sounded like a very specific brand of lubricant.  We did not name either of them Analise.
 
2013-02-15 01:20:22 PM
My wife and I are both recovering catholics, but one tradition of the church we've held on to is naming our offspring after the better-known apostles and saints. Good, solid names that aren't overly popular and are easy to pronounce and spell. We actually get a lot of compliments on them, like, "Cool, you don't hear that name much anymore."
 
2013-02-15 01:26:33 PM
I have a nephew named Gus.  I like to think his dad is a little ahead of the curve.
 
2013-02-15 01:27:48 PM
My son's name (John) used to be number one for generations, but I predict by the time he's my age it will be extremely rare. He's the only one in his school afaik. The names on the list are not that old fashioned - try Eula, Ernestine, Winifred or for a boy, Clyde.
 
2013-02-15 01:29:07 PM

QueenMamaBee: blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list

Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.


4.bp.blogspot.com
What a daughter named "Six" might look like.
 
2013-02-15 01:29:39 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: I have a nephew named Gus.  I like to think his dad is a little ahead of the curve.


Gus?!?  We cant have an astronaut named 'Gus'.

What's his middle name?
 
2013-02-15 01:30:21 PM

QueenMamaBee: blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list

Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.


It could have been worse...

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 01:31:53 PM
My family had 3 generations of "Adolf" until that no talent ass clown started invading countries.
 
2013-02-15 01:33:53 PM

89 Stick-Up Kid: My family had 3 generations of "Adolf" until that no talent ass clown started invading countries.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
Adolf.
Adolf who?
A dolf ball hit me in the teef.
 
2013-02-15 01:36:53 PM

astroman05: Warthog: I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there.  If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself.  Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.

All my kids' names are on there (as well as several of the finalists we didn't choose), but they were all named 5 years ago or more.  Do I have to shoot myself, or do I get a "I liked them before they got big" exemption?


You get the exemption but then you have to shoot yourself for hipster cliche.
 
2013-02-15 01:37:46 PM

89 Stick-Up Kid: My family had 3 generations of "Adolf" until that no talent ass clown started invading countries.


Same thing happened in my family. My father was named John Wayne Gacy. To avoid the infamy from that name he changed his name to Slash Murderclown.
 
2013-02-15 01:38:24 PM
Oliver? Seriously? Everyone knows Oliver killed The Brady Bunch. Yeesh.
 
2013-02-15 01:39:59 PM
So glad that traditional names in my family are German and not all that common here. Not every day that you run into an Angelika, or Gabriele. Even my cousin and I use the uncommon German spelling for our names which are very common Russian names. It just gets annoying when I have the Russian ex-pat in my office keep insisting that I spell my name wrong and has on more than one occasion had my name changed on the company website.
 
2013-02-15 01:43:05 PM

GRCooper: Pants full of macaroni!!: I have a nephew named Gus.  I like to think his dad is a little ahead of the curve.

Gus?!?  We cant have an astronaut named 'Gus'.

What's his middle name?


I honestly can't remember.  He is very interested in astronomy though.
 
2013-02-15 01:50:14 PM

Caluth: Agamemnon

Auggie for short


images3.cliqueclack.com
So he'll be handsome and successful, but he may end up blind.
 
2013-02-15 01:51:04 PM

ciberido: give me doughnuts: GalFriday: My first child will be a girl.  I shall name her Stacy, and I will be Stacy's mom, and I will have it going on.
My second child will be boy and I will name him Luke so that my husband can say, "I am your father, Luke."
My third child will be named Narnia so that when I purchase something for her, I can shout, "FOR NARNIA!"
And my fourth child will be named Sparta so that when I introduce him to people, I can proclaim, "THIS IS SPARTA!"

/oblig


You'll have to start a rumor that your fourth child's name is "Madness."


I already have a child named Madness.  He lives in our house, in the middle of our street.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-15 01:51:49 PM

The Singing Bush: I have 1 year old twin girls.  When the Mrs. and I were deciding on names, she loooooved the name Analise.  She and her friends thought it was so cute until I reminded them it sounded like a very specific brand of lubricant.  We did not name either of them Analise.


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 01:55:01 PM

HailRobonia: 89 Stick-Up Kid: My family had 3 generations of "Adolf" until that no talent ass clown started invading countries.

Same thing happened in my family. My father was named John Wayne Gacy. To avoid the infamy from that name he changed his name to Slash Murderclown.


Well, at least if you don't know what to buy him for Christmas one year, you can always get him some Faygo.

Or magnets.
 
2013-02-15 01:58:03 PM

ciberido: Tricky Chicken: I wanted to name my sons after the sons of Jacob.  I was going to start with the names least likely to get their ass kicked figuring the older ones might help look out for the unfortunately named.

Dan
Joseph
Benjamin
Reuben
Levi
Asher
Zebulun
Simeon
Judah
Napthali
Issachar
and Gad (seriously)

Don't name your child "Zebulun" or else he might end up living in Georgia or North Carolina.


I live the next town over from Zebulon, NC. Gettng kicks

/also those rubbery spongey synthetic corks that come with wine bottles are made in Zebulon, NC. I used to work on the extrusion machines. CSB
 
2013-02-15 02:01:05 PM

ciberido: Don't name your child "Zebulun" or else he might end up living in Georgia or North Carolina.


Or he might end up teriyaki style.

www.hwdyk.com
 
2013-02-15 02:10:30 PM

ciberido: QueenMamaBee: blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list

Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 300x272]
What a daughter named "Six" might look like.


Not even close, wrong ethnicity.
 
2013-02-15 02:13:55 PM

StewMcG: We used to take pride in picking unusual names, too.  However, our youngest's name, Amelia, showed up on this stupid list.  GAH!  We always made it a point to pick names that were fairly uncommon.  (Given that Mr. StewMcG and I both have pretty common first names.)  Imagine our shock when our oldest, Julia (which was pretty uncommon 17+ years ago) started kindergarten... with 3 other Julia's.


So... in other words, while you THOUGHT you picked unusual names, you totally didn't. CSB.
 
2013-02-15 02:17:34 PM

CygnusDarius: Where's Nicky and Vinnie and Tommy?.


Beating the s**t out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker.
 
2013-02-15 02:17:52 PM

Sybarite: Oliver

The problem with that name is that I can only hear it in Eva Gabor's accent.


That's a feature, not a bug.
www.photo2013.com
/hot
 
2013-02-15 02:24:48 PM

powerful katrinka: A fun site for baby names.


Good find! Not a whole lot of returns for "Adolf" after the 1900s...?
 
2013-02-15 02:28:50 PM

dustygrimp: astroman05: Warthog: I clicked through that whole stupid slide show just to make sure my two snowflakes' names were NOT there.  If I came to find out that I gave them trendy names, I'd have to shoot myself.  Fortunately the names Reinhold and Helga seem not to be taking off.

All my kids' names are on there (as well as several of the finalists we didn't choose), but they were all named 5 years ago or more.  Do I have to shoot myself, or do I get a "I liked them before they got big" exemption?

You get the exemption but then you have to shoot yourself for hipster cliche.


Yes, this is the correct answer.  Please post the news of your demise, so that they can shift your account setting over to "Beyond Fark."
 
2013-02-15 02:32:30 PM

FloydA: Tucker.


I can see the school kids now...Tucker tucker bo bucker banana fana fo f*cker hahahahahahahah
 
2013-02-15 02:40:55 PM

Hebalo: StewMcG: We used to take pride in picking unusual names, too.  However, our youngest's name, Amelia, showed up on this stupid list.  GAH!  We always made it a point to pick names that were fairly uncommon.  (Given that Mr. StewMcG and I both have pretty common first names.)  Imagine our shock when our oldest, Julia (which was pretty uncommon 17+ years ago) started kindergarten... with 3 other Julia's.

So... in other words, while you THOUGHT you picked unusual names, you totally didn't. CSB.


Nah, we have 2 more children and both have very ethnic names that aren't all that common the US.  Also, our Amelia is 7 1/2 years old and at the time, all we heard from everyone is that it was an old lady's name.

Who knows, maybe this is just confirming the horrific thought that we're hipsters?  *gah*

/css
 
2013-02-15 02:41:35 PM

busy chillin': FloydA: Tucker.

I can see the school kids now...Tucker tucker bo bucker banana fana fo f*cker hahahahahahahah


Yep.  You don't turn into this:
i105.photobucket.com
Without years of being mocked.
 
2013-02-15 02:43:09 PM
Named my son Gabriel...he's the only one in his entire elementary school (making it real tough for him to get out of trouble)

/his class has a Janaiya, Sanaiya, and Kamaiya
//wanted to name him Jeremiah, kinda glad I didn't
 
2013-02-15 02:43:50 PM

rufus-t-firefly: A couple months ago, I was at a birthday party held in a "Tumble and Cheer" school.

These were some of the names on the wall:

Cambree
Karli
Baylee
Jaslynn
Maccie
Balei
Addison
Izzabelle
Kasey
Jadyn
Abigayle
Kinley
Kinsley

ph'nglui
mglw'nafh
Ryleigh
wgah'nagl
fhtagn 
Kyler
Dravyn
Jacelyn
Jacelynn
Kolie
Khloe (2)
Caryss
Blayse
Karsyn
Jaylynn
Kennadi
Brooklyn
Rylynn


Luckily, most of these girls won't have to worry about people misspelling their names since strip club patrons don't usually tip with checks.

And if you read Deadspin - yes, these names were printed there first...but I wanted to share this sign of civilization's impending collapse with my Fark family.
 
2013-02-15 03:00:03 PM
Son has a kid in his class named Jaylin. Every time I see that kid, I think "that's not a name, that's a prediction."
 
2013-02-15 03:01:01 PM

A Shambling Mound: Clara
Eli
Naomi
Charlie
Alice
Henry
Olive
Leo
Lillian
Jasper
Amelia
Everett
Nora
Silas
Adeline
Max
Hazel
Owen
Stella
Oliver

There. No need to click through seven pages.

-=-
Thanks. I didn't.
 
2013-02-15 03:10:18 PM
Ah, old fashioned names.  My cousin named his kid Linus.  I told him I thought that was a-pauling.
 
2013-02-15 03:17:49 PM
I really want to name my son Augustus and my other son Marcus.

I think Gus is a cute nickname for a kid and cool nickname for man.

What do you think fark?

/Fark is better than a bunch of 5th graders.
 
2013-02-15 03:19:29 PM

GalFriday: Where did you go to college? Because I, too, went to college with a guy named Thon.


UT Austin.
 
2013-02-15 03:34:31 PM
Did the author do all their research at Wolfram Alpha?

/dnrtfa
 
2013-02-15 03:51:07 PM

theorellior: GalFriday: Where did you go to college? Because I, too, went to college with a guy named Thon.

UT Austin.


Then it is not the same Thon unless he also went to St. Louis University in the early 90's.  Could it be the same Thon, or do you think we are dealing with multiple Thons/Thoni?
 
2013-02-15 03:58:00 PM
I always win these thread.  My first name is Xaviana.  No one should ever name a child Xaviana.  Every single roll call in my entire life has gone like this:

Teacher: Tommy, Vivian, ZZZ, um um uh.
Me:  You can just call me Thirteen.

That is right, of all things in the world, my grandfather decided he hated my name and began calling me Thirteen shortly after I was born.  He did this because I am the thirteenth child in the family and to keep track of us the parents/grandparents/hitchhikers would make us number off and/or line up in number order.

So, I am Thirteen, it is nice to meet you.
 
2013-02-15 03:59:54 PM

GalFriday: I always win these thread.  My first name is Xaviana.  No one should ever name a child Xaviana.  Every single roll call in my entire life has gone like this:

Teacher: Tommy, Vivian, ZZZ, um um uh.
Me:  You can just call me Thirteen.

That is right, of all things in the world, my grandfather decided he hated my name and began calling me Thirteen shortly after I was born.  He did this because I am the thirteenth child in the family and to keep track of us the parents/grandparents/hitchhikers would make us number off and/or line up in number order.

So, I am Thirteen, it is nice to meet you.


Huh, it's strange that people would have pronunciation problems with it...my son's middle name is Xavier, so I would assume they would sound the same.

\was one of five Jasons in a class at elementary school
 
2013-02-15 04:04:12 PM

Button Face: Son has a kid in his class named Jaylin. Every time I see that kid, I think "that's not a name, that's a prediction."


www.shockmansion.com
 
2013-02-15 04:07:46 PM
GalFriday:

So, I am Thirteen, it is nice to meet you.

Farky updated.
 
2013-02-15 04:11:35 PM

GalFriday: Then it is not the same Thon unless he also went to St. Louis University in the early 90's. Could it be the same Thon, or do you think we are dealing with multiple Thons/Thoni?


Probably not the same. As for the plural, "Thon" looks kinda Greek, so it could be "Thoa". However, the name was created with runes, so maybe a Norse "Thoner" would work better.
 
2013-02-15 04:11:49 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: GalFriday: I always win these thread.  My first name is Xaviana.  No one should ever name a child Xaviana.  Every single roll call in my entire life has gone like this:

Teacher: Tommy, Vivian, ZZZ, um um uh.
Me:  You can just call me Thirteen.

That is right, of all things in the world, my grandfather decided he hated my name and began calling me Thirteen shortly after I was born.  He did this because I am the thirteenth child in the family and to keep track of us the parents/grandparents/hitchhikers would make us number off and/or line up in number order.

So, I am Thirteen, it is nice to meet you.

Huh, it's strange that people would have pronunciation problems with it...my son's middle name is Xavier, so I would assume they would sound the same.

\was one of five Jasons in a class at elementary school


Mine is pronounced X-A-V-ona.

I think that because it is uncommon, that people had such a problem with it.
I also grew up in a very small town and I would think that by the time I reached first grade, the teachers would have been able to pronounce it.  And they wouldn't need to call my mother or one of my brothers into the office to explain the whole Thirteen thing.
 
2013-02-15 04:24:41 PM

GRCooper: Have friends with two little kids with the, IMHO, awesome names "Max" and "Stella", so getting a kick, etc. ...

CSB1:  Mom knew a woman whose name was "Pajama" - pronounced "Pay-ja-MAY"

CSB2:  Was designer for an online game that allowed players to create their own in game names.  Since I'm not congenitally stupid, we only allowed them to select from a list of first and last names (no text entry - therein lies madness).  So, I headed to the Census websight and tracked down their lists of all first and last names registered in the U.S.  There are about 13k last names, and roughly 50k first names (I'm going from memory here, but the numbers are approximately correct - maybe it's 13k first and 50k last).  Again, not being stupid, I forced myself to read through both lists, searching for names to delete from the "official" lists as innapropriate for our game.  I had to delete many, many names. (I don't care if it's a 'legit' name, you're not naming your character "Rape Cockburn")

/always wanted a son to be able to name him "Duncan Idaho" (Duncan's a family name, but the Idaho would confuse the rest of the clan), but, alas, no women want to nurture my seed.
//plus, his initials would be "DIC" which would rock.


RE: CSB1.

Whenever I run into a person who pronounces his name in a way that doesn't at all match the spelling, and he immediately says, "But that's how I pronounce it!" I have to resist the urge to pat him on the head and say, "Of course, pumpkin."
 
2013-02-15 04:25:42 PM

QueenMamaBee: ciberido: QueenMamaBee: blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list

Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 300x272]
What a daughter named "Six" might look like.

Not even close, wrong ethnicity.


cdn2.mamapop.com upload.wikimedia.org
She might be closer, but she's an Eight, not a Six.
 
2013-02-15 04:27:56 PM

calm like a bomb: I have twins.  We named them Bweryang and Bob.


I want to have five children: four boys named Bob and a girl named Barbara Ann.
 
2013-02-15 04:28:50 PM

wambu: So are stripper and slut names becoming less popular? Where will these girls come from in the future? "Clara" will never be thought of as a naughty, naughty girl.


Two words: Hot librarian.
 
2013-02-15 04:29:58 PM
Can you imagine Ancient Egyptian FARK?

"I am so sick of all those people who think they are cool when they name their kids after the god of the sun. Half the boys in my son's scribe class are called Ra"

"Did you hear about the Nubian woman who named her daughter wavy line wavy line apostrophe cobra hand square?"

"I went to school with a girl named Ankhsunamon, but she spelled it with a plover instead of a bundle of reeds!"
 
2013-02-15 04:30:57 PM
I have dibs on Victor and Annika.
 
2013-02-15 04:35:41 PM

Jim_Callahan: 3. If you're going to completely make some shiat up, first type the name, and every variant spelling you can think of, into Google search, to make sure it's not a: Brand name, Proper word of some kind, Common name in another language for the opposite of your child's gender, etc.


3a. ...Or internet slang for some horribly depraved act.
 
2013-02-15 04:44:03 PM

MikeBoomshadow: calm like a bomb: I have twins.  We named them Bweryang and Bob.

I want to have five children: four boys named Bob and a girl named Barbara Ann.


Twice in one thread with the actual LOL. Because in my head I heard you introduce your kids to me.

"These are my kids Barbera and Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob"
 
2013-02-15 04:44:47 PM
What a 13 may look like

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-15 04:45:35 PM

Tricky Chicken: MikeBoomshadow: calm like a bomb: I have twins.  We named them Bweryang and Bob.

I want to have five children: four boys named Bob and a girl named Barbara Ann.

Twice in one thread with the actual LOL. Because in my head I heard you introduce your kids to me.

"These are my kids Barbera and Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob"


Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Barbera Ann, the song? Come on!
 
2013-02-15 05:29:43 PM
My son has the unfortunate first name of a certain Cullen vampire but he lucked out being born LONG before Twilight hit the scene.

I always advise soon-to-be parents to do a rhyming test (Brock will eventually become Cock) and nursery rhyme test (Peter Horner, etc) on their potential child's name.
 
2013-02-15 08:12:40 PM

QueenMamaBee: ciberido: QueenMamaBee: blatz514: Strangely this name wasn't on the list

Sadly, a friend of mine dated a guy with a daughter named Six.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 300x272]
What a daughter named "Six" might look like.

Not even close, wrong ethnicity.


Ok, well as much fun as the "guess the ethnicity of a person I've never met" game has been, I'll just, uh, be over there talking to somebody else now.
 
2013-02-15 09:56:01 PM
Speaking of names, I've got two boys scheduled to delivery in April, and I've always loved the name Jasper. (Tennessean, think I first saw it as the legit first name of a certain distiller of yore)

My question is, I've just recently found out that the name was used in Twilight, which casts a certain pall over it. Haven't read the books, but is it a major enough character as to stand out? Or just one of those characters who is mentioned in passing?
 
2013-02-16 12:59:26 AM

dugitman: Isn't Olive just the nick for Olivia-- which every 4th girl under 10 is named? Also, my 2nd grade daughter has an Olivia, Olyvia, and O'livea in her class. YRLY


Of course she does.

This is no sort of new trend at all. Upwardly mobile mainly white parents have been searching for the holy grail of "classic name, but no one else has it yet so my kid will be quirky!!!" forever, a  nd that means they all move as a herd and assign the same names at the same time, all while thinking they have the perfect unique name, until that first day of kindergarten when they find out that their precious snowflake will be Olivia S. because there's already an Olivia M.

The up and coming names are the ones that were popular with the set of old people who died off maybe 10 years ago. So it goes on a roughly 100-year cycle. No one wants to name their kids after grandparents alive NOW or fussy old people they know, but give it ten years or so and wow, hey, those were classy people! let's name the kid after them.

If you really want your kid to be unique in their age cohort, name your kid after the names overused in YOUR generation.

/got a crazy foreign name
//the one in my profile is just the whitebread alias I normally use
 
2013-02-16 10:38:57 AM
My son's name is in TFA, but is apparently not a popular one and nor is it on its way to becoming one any time soon.  That's fine by me.  When my wife and I were trying to think of names we couldn't think of anything serious.  We'd come up with things like "Keanu" and "Aloysius".
 
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