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(The Raw Story)   NC lawmakers say women should duct tape their nipples to stay out of jail (pic in link is mildly Not safe for work)   (rawstory.com) divider line 41
    More: Asinine, North Carolina, North Carolina Republicans, lawmakers  
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26270 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 11:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-15 10:51:52 AM
23 votes:
Personally, I find sideboob every bit as distracting as nipples, and that's not even getting into the very obvious area of exposed cleavage. Exposed cleavage is at least twice as distracting and dangerous as sideboob, which makes it perhaps 4, 5 times as dangerous as nipples. I mean, nipples are small, when you think about it. Well, not the  aerlioa aerloea aerloeieae puffy area, I mean, that's bigger, but in reality that's really no more than discolored skin and who cares about that. But nipples from a distance? Heck, you might not even realize they're nipples. You might think they're little points of acne or something. Bugbites, I don't know. But that's not my point. My point is that you're driving along, minding your own business, and bazonga -- there's some hugely endowed woman in a too-small jogging bra at the side of the road, cleavage and sideboob everywhere. What happens then? Your eyes leave the road for a moment, and suddenly there's a school bus and your life flashes yellow and 36 children are dead. It's absurd that we accept such daily risk as "normal" or "accepted" in a civilized society. Is some exposed cleavage worth dozens of dead children? I hope not. I want to believe we live in a world where that's not the case. The bottom line is that exposed breasts are really nothing more than a softer, fleshier brand of terrorism, and we need to draw a line. And if duct tape can help us do that, I'm all for it.
2013-02-15 11:10:00 AM
6 votes:
As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.
2013-02-15 11:26:53 AM
5 votes:
Whoah, that is so weird, I was JUST thinking about breasts!
2013-02-15 11:20:28 AM
5 votes:
ArcadianRefugee:  2: unless this law applies equally to men, isn't it unconstitutional?

Separate but nipple.
2013-02-15 11:46:01 AM
4 votes:

Sybarite: Wendy O. Williams approves.


THERE you go. Came for the Wendy O. reference and there it was, right up top when I came through the door, just like a loving wife in a French Maid outfit, handing me a martini and kissing me full on the mouth. Then taking my hand and leading me into the living room where beautiful couples in varying states of undress are enjoined in sexual activities and making pancakes. We join them. Then we pass out the iPads and everyone browses the FARK.com.
2013-02-15 11:30:03 AM
4 votes:

Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.


Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.
2013-02-15 11:09:25 AM
4 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Personally, I find sideboob every bit as distracting as nipples, and that's not even getting into the very obvious area of exposed cleavage. Exposed cleavage is at least twice as distracting and dangerous as sideboob, which makes it perhaps 4, 5 times as dangerous as nipples. I mean, nipples are small, when you think about it. Well, not the  aerlioa aerloea aerloeieae puffy area, I mean, that's bigger, but in reality that's really no more than discolored skin and who cares about that. But nipples from a distance? Heck, you might not even realize they're nipples. You might think they're little points of acne or something. Bugbites, I don't know. But that's not my point. My point is that you're driving along, minding your own business, and bazonga -- there's some hugely endowed woman in a too-small jogging bra at the side of the road, cleavage and sideboob everywhere. What happens then? Your eyes leave the road for a moment, and suddenly there's a school bus and your life flashes yellow and 36 children are dead. It's absurd that we accept such daily risk as "normal" or "accepted" in a civilized society. Is some exposed cleavage worth dozens of dead children? I hope not. I want to believe we live in a world where that's not the case. The bottom line is that exposed breasts are really nothing more than a softer, fleshier brand of terrorism, and we need to draw a line. And if duct tape can help us do that, I'm all for it.


You're a duct tape salesman, aren't you?
2013-02-15 12:40:20 PM
3 votes:
Darth_Lukecash:
To paraphrase the most important cinematic movie Zardox, "boobies is bad. Boobies spreads the seed of life. Gun is good. Gun destroys the seed of life.

It's Zardoz you insensitive clod.

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-02-15 11:34:31 AM
3 votes:

SpdrJay: So it's just the nipples that go to jail?


When nipples are outlawed, only outlaws will have nipples!
2013-02-15 11:29:38 AM
3 votes:

mainstreet62: And then what happens when it's time to take off the duct tape?


24.media.tumblr.com

Go on...
2013-02-15 11:29:04 AM
3 votes:

Weaver95: our priorities are beyond f*cked up.  American Horror Story goes into what?  season three of it's torture porn run and by all accounts doing quite well. none of these moralistic types seem to have any desire to shut down that show at all.  But let a woman show her nipples in public and OMG!  throw her in jail!

I don't get it.  I really don't.  we love violence, we want to see blood and pain on TV.  But sex?  that's evil?  hell, not even sex - just biology.  yes, women have breasts.  sometimes they show 'em off.  why you want to throw a woman into a jail cell for showing off her assets is entirely beyond me.


Drive a six-inch spike into a woman: R
Drive a six-inch penis into a woman: X
Drive a six-inch spike through a board with your penis: Deborah Foreman

i.imgur.com
2013-02-15 11:20:02 AM
3 votes:

i3.photobucket.com


Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.



Don't be scared. It means he likes you.
2013-02-15 11:15:49 AM
3 votes:
Too far?
www.themontyminute.com
/hot
//in a linked sort of way
///ok in a that sort of way too.
2013-02-15 10:58:49 AM
3 votes:
I was under the impression that mammaries came pre-ducted.

But I was bottle fed, as Mumsy's ducts were clogged with adhesive.
2013-02-15 11:57:55 AM
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Personally, I find sideboob every bit as distracting as nipples, and that's not even getting into the very obvious area of exposed cleavage. Exposed cleavage is at least twice as distracting and dangerous as sideboob, which makes it perhaps 4, 5 times as dangerous as nipples. I mean, nipples are small, when you think about it. Well, not the  aerlioa aerloea aerloeieae puffy area, I mean, that's bigger, but in reality that's really no more than discolored skin and who cares about that. But nipples from a distance? Heck, you might not even realize they're nipples. You might think they're little points of acne or something. Bugbites, I don't know. But that's not my point. My point is that you're driving along, minding your own business, and bazonga -- there's some hugely endowed woman in a too-small jogging bra at the side of the road, cleavage and sideboob everywhere. What happens then? Your eyes leave the road for a moment, and suddenly there's a school bus and your life flashes yellow and 36 children are dead. It's absurd that we accept such daily risk as "normal" or "accepted" in a civilized society. Is some exposed cleavage worth dozens of dead children? I hope not. I want to believe we live in a world where that's not the case. The bottom line is that exposed breasts are really nothing more than a softer, fleshier brand of terrorism, and we need to draw a line. And if duct tape can help us do that, I'm all for it.


I read that and it sounded like a speech by JFK in my head
2013-02-15 11:45:18 AM
2 votes:
It's not the teat, it's the tumidity.
2013-02-15 11:26:00 AM
2 votes:

FizixJunkee: But dudes can show their nipples, right?

And what about moobs?  I've seen plenty o' men with bigger breasts than mine.  Why are they allowed to expose theirs when I can't expose mine?


Oh that's easy, have male nipples grafted on instead of your own.
2013-02-15 11:21:52 AM
2 votes:
But dudes can show their nipples, right?

And what about moobs?  I've seen plenty o' men with bigger breasts than mine.  Why are they allowed to expose theirs when I can't expose mine?
2013-02-15 11:07:34 AM
2 votes:
I suggest that he put duct tape over his mouth to prevent him from saying derpy things.
2013-02-15 10:51:31 AM
2 votes:
Proud to be a merkin.
2013-02-15 09:36:06 AM
2 votes:
Wendy O. Williams approves.
2013-02-16 06:40:04 AM
1 votes:

ITKing85:
It's really not that great. Some people call him Mr. Potato D--k for a reason


img.photobucket.com
What a Mr. Potato Duck might look like.
2013-02-15 06:37:57 PM
1 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: Not if you bought it at Walmart.


The hair or the tape?
2013-02-15 05:47:34 PM
1 votes:

eyeq360: I suggest that he put duct tape over his mouth to prevent him from saying derpy things.


I was going to suggest he wrap his balls with it (no shaving first, either!)
2013-02-15 02:52:25 PM
1 votes:

Bendal: Yeah, this state is being punished for who we voted for back in 2008...


It's okay, it's just because they love us citizens customers of NC so much; if only we didn't make them hurt us, if only we would LISTEN and OBEY they wouldn't have to beat us into submission. They're going to get help, some new medications or maybe some counseling, and if that doesn't work it's our fault at forcing their hands against us. They're sorry. They promise to never do it again and OMFG! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!? THAT'S NOT HOW YOU FOLD THE LAUNDRY! AND DID YOU BURN MY PANCAKE AGAIN! *smack* Oh, did you walk into a door knob again?
2013-02-15 01:07:45 PM
1 votes:

palelizard: Stone Meadow: Does this mean my wife has to wear a shirt while we're farking? Cuz she definitely exposes her "private parts" to me while we're enjoying sexitime.

Neither of you should be removing your church chemise for any purpose, including bathing.  Neither of you should be enjoying sexitime.  You are to have sex through a blanket with only a hole cut through to allow for sex.  You should both be looking away in shame.  You should only do this for the expressed purpose of procreation.  Your bodies are abhorrent and sinful and filthy, exactly as G*d created them, and you should remember that.

You should both be ashamed of yourselves.


Benedictine...is that you? ;^)

/well played, sir!
2013-02-15 12:34:00 PM
1 votes:
Play NSFW video.... Back to the Loch with you Nessie

Jump to 2:43...  EEEEWWWWWWWWW

Jump to 4:43...  MY EEEEYYYYYEESSS

Jump to 6:05... That's better
2013-02-15 12:31:29 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: But sex?


No thanks.
2013-02-15 12:08:58 PM
1 votes:
I think I speak for all men when I say that nothing, NOTHING is more distracting than underboob.  Sideboob on most women looks like armpit tumors.

As, I was saying, boobs would save the world and I am not half kidding. If politicians were hot women with awesome knockers (not necessarily big, just nice and, exposed) no one would want to fight, and if they did argue, people would take an interest in local politics, from PTA meetings to city council, congress sessions we would be glued to the TV fapping and learning, making us better voters.

Boobs are god's 2nd greatest invention and anyone set to vilify them is either jealous or retarded.
2013-02-15 11:49:42 AM
1 votes:

Elegy: Soooo..... boob thread?
NSFW NSFW

  NSFW

You're doing the Lord's work, sir - thank you.
2013-02-15 11:28:14 AM
1 votes:
On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose "private parts" for the "purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.

The woman in the mildly NSFW pic is not baring herself for either of those purposes. Or at least, she isn't accomplishing those purposes.
And the women who led the bare breast protests could claim they were intending to exercise their 1st amendment rights.

Oh, who am I kidding. This is NC we're talking about. They're the progressive part of the south - they want women to wear burkas, but at least they'll let them drive.
2013-02-15 11:26:32 AM
1 votes:
The lawmaker is a rapeublican.  I'm surprised she didn't suggest taping the cootch to prevent random penisings
2013-02-15 11:20:59 AM
1 votes:
Duct Tape.  A handy man's secret weapon!  - Red Green
2013-02-15 11:18:08 AM
1 votes:
The woman in the picture isn't terribly attractive, but that's an impressive rack nonetheless.
2013-02-15 11:17:47 AM
1 votes:
You know it's been a loooooong time since the boobquake thread...
2013-02-15 11:16:01 AM
1 votes:

Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.


Just one?
2013-02-15 11:14:04 AM
1 votes:
I'm fully convinced that we need to abolish legislatures at every level. They don't really do anything except pass stupid laws like this. Most governments would work fine with a manager who collects existing taxes and pays the bills.
2013-02-15 11:08:40 AM
1 votes:
Uh-oh.

farm1.staticflickr.com
2013-02-15 10:28:15 AM
1 votes:
Well, maybe it will create jobs for 3M.  And the pasty manufacturers.  And Tillie the Twirler.
2013-02-15 10:10:29 AM
1 votes:

Weaver95: our priorities are beyond f*cked up.  American Horror Story goes into what?  season three of it's torture porn run and by all accounts doing quite well. none of these moralistic types seem to have any desire to shut down that show at all.  But let a woman show her nipples in public and OMG!  throw her in jail!

I don't get it.  I really don't.  we love violence, we want to see blood and pain on TV.  But sex?  that's evil?  hell, not even sex - just biology.  yes, women have breasts.  sometimes they show 'em off.  why you want to throw a woman into a jail cell for showing off her assets is entirely beyond me.


To paraphrase the most important cinematic movie Zardox, "boobies is bad. Boobies spreads the seed of life. Gun is good. Gun destroys the seed of life.

That is America.
CDP [TotalFark]
2013-02-15 09:59:39 AM
1 votes:
Free teh breasticles
 
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