Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Raw Story)   NC lawmakers say women should duct tape their nipples to stay out of jail (pic in link is mildly Not safe for work)   (rawstory.com) divider line 191
    More: Asinine, North Carolina, North Carolina Republicans, lawmakers  
•       •       •

26279 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 11:04 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



191 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-15 11:25:14 AM  

Towermonkey: I like - and appreciate - a nice rack. Show 'em off, ladies. Please?

/EIP?
//So ronery


Inadvertent juxtoposition.
Jesus Facepalm is for NC, not your post, Towermonkey.

Please carry on.
 
2013-02-15 11:25:26 AM  
How about back-boobs?
 
2013-02-15 11:26:00 AM  

FizixJunkee: But dudes can show their nipples, right?

And what about moobs?  I've seen plenty o' men with bigger breasts than mine.  Why are they allowed to expose theirs when I can't expose mine?


Oh that's easy, have male nipples grafted on instead of your own.
 
2013-02-15 11:26:32 AM  
The lawmaker is a rapeublican.  I'm surprised she didn't suggest taping the cootch to prevent random penisings
 
2013-02-15 11:26:53 AM  
Whoah, that is so weird, I was JUST thinking about breasts!
 
2013-02-15 11:27:06 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: 1: for the "purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire."

What if it's just a hot day and they want to be cool?

2: unless this law applies equally to men, isn't it unconstitutional?


Gender discrimination receives intermediate scrutiny:  the law must further an important government interest in a way that is substantially related to that interest.
 
2013-02-15 11:27:24 AM  

FizixJunkee: But dudes can show their nipples, right?

And what about moobs?  I've seen plenty o' men with bigger breasts than mine.  Why are they allowed to expose theirs when I can't expose mine?


No one's keeping you from showing those titties other than you, sweetiepie.
 
2013-02-15 11:28:14 AM  
On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose "private parts" for the "purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.

The woman in the mildly NSFW pic is not baring herself for either of those purposes. Or at least, she isn't accomplishing those purposes.
And the women who led the bare breast protests could claim they were intending to exercise their 1st amendment rights.

Oh, who am I kidding. This is NC we're talking about. They're the progressive part of the south - they want women to wear burkas, but at least they'll let them drive.
 
2013-02-15 11:28:15 AM  
 
2013-02-15 11:29:04 AM  

Weaver95: our priorities are beyond f*cked up.  American Horror Story goes into what?  season three of it's torture porn run and by all accounts doing quite well. none of these moralistic types seem to have any desire to shut down that show at all.  But let a woman show her nipples in public and OMG!  throw her in jail!

I don't get it.  I really don't.  we love violence, we want to see blood and pain on TV.  But sex?  that's evil?  hell, not even sex - just biology.  yes, women have breasts.  sometimes they show 'em off.  why you want to throw a woman into a jail cell for showing off her assets is entirely beyond me.


Drive a six-inch spike into a woman: R
Drive a six-inch penis into a woman: X
Drive a six-inch spike through a board with your penis: Deborah Foreman

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-15 11:29:11 AM  
Warning, do not watch the video linked in TFA. Yikes.
 
2013-02-15 11:29:13 AM  
It's always been the attitude in America. People can get blown away or electrocuted or stabbed in a network TV show or PG movie but there hasn't been a boob in a PG-13 movie since Titanic.
 
2013-02-15 11:29:38 AM  

mainstreet62: And then what happens when it's time to take off the duct tape?


24.media.tumblr.com

Go on...
 
2013-02-15 11:30:03 AM  

Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.


Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.
 
2013-02-15 11:30:40 AM  
Pasties for everyone!

organicarmor.com

/GIS is funny for this one
 
2013-02-15 11:32:35 AM  
Video in TFA is a little disappointing.  The kind of chicks I want protesting for their right to go topless never appear at these rallies....
 
2013-02-15 11:32:54 AM  

FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.


so women actually check out the bulge?  sweet.
 
2013-02-15 11:34:31 AM  

SpdrJay: So it's just the nipples that go to jail?


When nipples are outlawed, only outlaws will have nipples!
 
2013-02-15 11:34:46 AM  
This will go over like a pair of lead balloons. (Funbags, dirty pillows, etc.)
 
2013-02-15 11:36:38 AM  
FTA: On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approvedHouse Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose "private parts" for the "purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire." ...

Republican state Rep. Rayne Brown told lawmakers that she was co-sponsoring the bill because activists had held a topless women's rights rally in Asheville last summer, where as many as a dozen women bared their breasts.

So bearing breasts at a political protest would still be perfectly legal (by this law).
 
2013-02-15 11:37:05 AM  

Girion47: FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.

so women actually check out the bulge?  sweet.


Of course we do.  And those of us who aren't insecure even check out other women.  Some of us will even point out the especially well-endowed ones to our boyfriends/husbands.
 
2013-02-15 11:38:45 AM  

FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.


That was Mr. Coffee Nerves worthy.  I salute you.
 
2013-02-15 11:39:06 AM  

FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.


If only he had been  Scottish, and wearing a kilt.
 
2013-02-15 11:41:08 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: Although Brown's district is 100 miles from Asheville, she felt it was important to act before women tried to assert their rights again by going topless at another rally.

I'm really, really, really hating my State the past few months. We get it. We let the State go blue in 2008 and you feel you must punish us with your new-found strangle hold.


Wha? this is backwards. This is state pushing for red that's doing, this not Blue.

I don't think I've heard of anyone other than conservatives that are anti women's rights.
 
2013-02-15 11:41:56 AM  
 My gawd we are a nation of prudes. Reminds me of when people get all tripped out when women breastfeed in public, almost like we havn't been doing so since before the dawn of time.

Hypnozombie
 
2013-02-15 11:44:39 AM  
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I love how they solved this "problem" (women protesting for the right to go anywhere topless) in NYC. The courts just said okay, whatever and made it legal. Guess what happened? Nothing. No chicks suddenly went shopping topless. No wimmins running around town waving their boobses. It was a complete non-event and now the protesters have to think up something else to be angry about.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
 
2013-02-15 11:45:18 AM  
It's not the teat, it's the tumidity.
 
2013-02-15 11:45:40 AM  

FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.


He was probably wearing his bulge enhancing underwear (yes that is a thing)
 
2013-02-15 11:46:01 AM  

Sybarite: Wendy O. Williams approves.


THERE you go. Came for the Wendy O. reference and there it was, right up top when I came through the door, just like a loving wife in a French Maid outfit, handing me a martini and kissing me full on the mouth. Then taking my hand and leading me into the living room where beautiful couples in varying states of undress are enjoined in sexual activities and making pancakes. We join them. Then we pass out the iPads and everyone browses the FARK.com.
 
2013-02-15 11:46:32 AM  
True story:

FizixJunkee: Girion47: FizixJunkee: Dreyelle: As a woman I get distracted by the bulge in the front of mens pants.  I think all men must be required to wear skirts or kilts to hide it.  When I see "The Bulge" I am often compelled to show my nipple.  It's a tragic series of events.

Hear, hear.

I often catch glances at men's crotch areas.   Yesterday on the bus, for example.  There was this kid, perhaps early 20s, with a gigantic mound in the nether regions of his pants.  It sent my mind swirling.  I longed to unzip his trousers and see what beast was lurking underneath the 80-20 cotton/poly fabric that was just barely constrained his junk.  I mean, even flaccid it was huge; I could only imagine its size when it was fully erect.   I even went as far as to wonder if he were cut or uncut.

I put my cell phone on my crotch and allowed the vibrations to carry me away...

Then I missed my stop.

so women actually check out the bulge?  sweet.

Of course we do.  And those of us who aren't insecure even check out other women.  Some of us will even point out the especially well-endowed ones to our boyfriends/husbands.


You bet!

CSB time:

Stood near the entrance of a club with a couple of (girl) friends.  When guys would enter we would intentionally get "caught" checking out the men's bulges.  We were the popular ladies that night.
 
2013-02-15 11:49:42 AM  

Elegy: Soooo..... boob thread?
NSFW NSFW

  NSFW

You're doing the Lord's work, sir - thank you.
 
2013-02-15 11:52:03 AM  
If it's got nothing to do with gun violence, gun maintenance, gun buying, or gun shootin, then it's evil. Women's bodies are evil, sinful, and full of cooties, and that's why we must ban them.....or, at the very least, we can't admit that we like naked women because then the tea party fanatics might start thinking we're libruls, and that would be bad.
 
2013-02-15 11:54:11 AM  
what no boobies...
now you will die

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-15 11:57:55 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Personally, I find sideboob every bit as distracting as nipples, and that's not even getting into the very obvious area of exposed cleavage. Exposed cleavage is at least twice as distracting and dangerous as sideboob, which makes it perhaps 4, 5 times as dangerous as nipples. I mean, nipples are small, when you think about it. Well, not the  aerlioa aerloea aerloeieae puffy area, I mean, that's bigger, but in reality that's really no more than discolored skin and who cares about that. But nipples from a distance? Heck, you might not even realize they're nipples. You might think they're little points of acne or something. Bugbites, I don't know. But that's not my point. My point is that you're driving along, minding your own business, and bazonga -- there's some hugely endowed woman in a too-small jogging bra at the side of the road, cleavage and sideboob everywhere. What happens then? Your eyes leave the road for a moment, and suddenly there's a school bus and your life flashes yellow and 36 children are dead. It's absurd that we accept such daily risk as "normal" or "accepted" in a civilized society. Is some exposed cleavage worth dozens of dead children? I hope not. I want to believe we live in a world where that's not the case. The bottom line is that exposed breasts are really nothing more than a softer, fleshier brand of terrorism, and we need to draw a line. And if duct tape can help us do that, I'm all for it.


I read that and it sounded like a speech by JFK in my head
 
2013-02-15 11:58:14 AM  

dentalhilljack: Video in TFA is a little disappointing.  The kind of chicks I want protesting for their right to go topless never appear at these rallies....


glad I skipped it, straw hat on the right and redhead on the left had me hovering... but the kid next to green bra made me a little queasy

I'm going to back up off the internet for a while.
 
2013-02-15 11:59:03 AM  
I live in NC, and I'm not afraid of the boobies in Asheville, What I am afraid of are the boobs in Raleigh.
/not mine
 
2013-02-15 12:03:43 PM  
NC hasn't gone far enough, we need to put bras on nude statues, repaint over the nipples on the masterpieces in the museums, and jock straps on male statues too. We need to get back to the eighteenth century now !
 
2013-02-15 12:03:50 PM  
Some examples of nipple covering:
m.rottendata.net
stuffflypeoplelike.com
thechive.files.wordpress.com
xa.yimg.com
 
2013-02-15 12:04:06 PM  
A felony, are you kidding me?
 
2013-02-15 12:06:56 PM  

Weaver95: I don't get it.  I really don't.  we love violence, we want to see blood and pain on TV.  But sex?  that's evil?  hell, not even sex - just biology.  yes, women have breasts.  sometimes they show 'em off.  why you want to throw a woman into a jail cell for showing off her assets is entirely beyond me.


I look at it this way. I HOPE my kids grown up and someday have sex. I also HOPE they never see a murder or torture. Why is it the other way around on what is allowed on TV and movies?

I guess when your country is settled by puritan asshats there are bound to be lasting side effects.
 
2013-02-15 12:08:29 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: The lawmaker is a rapeublican.  I'm surprised she didn't suggest taping the cootch to prevent random penisings


After this becomes law, camel toe legislation is next. Then burqas.
 
2013-02-15 12:08:58 PM  
I think I speak for all men when I say that nothing, NOTHING is more distracting than underboob.  Sideboob on most women looks like armpit tumors.

As, I was saying, boobs would save the world and I am not half kidding. If politicians were hot women with awesome knockers (not necessarily big, just nice and, exposed) no one would want to fight, and if they did argue, people would take an interest in local politics, from PTA meetings to city council, congress sessions we would be glued to the TV fapping and learning, making us better voters.

Boobs are god's 2nd greatest invention and anyone set to vilify them is either jealous or retarded.
 
2013-02-15 12:10:03 PM  

TOSViolation: I seriously need to find out what I can do about this.  I have an old friend who is in the NC senate, I think.  This is beyond wrong.


We NCers should push for an anti-gerrymandering State constitutional amendment. That's probably the only thing that can fix it short of waiting for enough Republicans to die off.

Serious question: Is there such a movement already in place? If not, ought we create one? Does the NCGA gate all amendment proposals, or can we use petition or somesuch to get it on the ballot?
 
2013-02-15 12:10:36 PM  
just popping out in acceptable clothing!
 shared1.ad-lister.co.uk
 
2013-02-15 12:11:54 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
What a felon does not look like.
 
2013-02-15 12:12:08 PM  
On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose "private parts" for the "purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.

Does this mean my wife has to wear a shirt while we're farking? Cuz she definitely exposes her "private parts" to me while we're enjoying sexitime.
 
2013-02-15 12:12:56 PM  
How long until they send a squad of drooling sheriffs over to Saudi Arabia for training from the Morality Police and their roving bands of whip-bearing sadists?
 
2013-02-15 12:14:40 PM  
They came for our guns and we said nothing.  Now they're coming for the boobies!!!  Will we sit back and endure yet another travesty of justice or will we stand up for our rights?  If they are successful here, where will it end?  What could possibly be next?  Bacon?  Booze?  Duct tape?  The puritans must be stopped.  There actions are nothing short of pure evil.
 
2013-02-15 12:14:57 PM  
So we're letting women carry duct tape now? What next, chloroform? This whole thing smacks of a plot against traditional gender roles.
 
2013-02-15 12:16:17 PM  
Gaffers tape > duct tape. Less residue when removed.
 
Displayed 50 of 191 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report