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(CNN)   Women are hiring "Flirting Coaches" to land the perfect guy that's not you   (cnn.com) divider line 172
    More: Silly, Steinberg, pool halls  
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5272 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 11:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-15 12:17:33 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Flirting is for amateurs. Now seduction that is an art.

"The next time you try to seduce anyone, don't do it with talk, with words. Women know more about words than men ever will. And they know how little they can ever possibly mean."
― William Faulkner

[img208.imageshack.us image 486x600]


Her knees eyebrows are too sharp.
 
2013-02-15 12:17:54 PM
I suppose that you might need flirting lessons if you are fat and/or ugly.  But if you are halfway attractive at all,  all one has to do is what that earworm woman of last summer suggested "Call me maybe"---give the guy your telephone number.  The dating scene is confusing and uncertain, and you could very well waste all your charm on some great guy who is interested in you because of it. But do this and in one fell swoop you wade through all the BS and cut to the chase.

/why would you fark around and pay some conwoman pickup artist good money when you could just do this?
 
2013-02-15 12:17:59 PM

Bedstead Polisher: The sound of one hand clapping: Solon Isonomia: Aar1012: So they're going to learn to use such subtle body language that no guy will understand that they are flirting?

/Just let us know

Exactly. Just be your damn self and if you're interested in us just farking say it. We're simple creatures.


Normally I'd be 100% this.  I can't stand all the dumb games people play in relationships.

That said, I read the article and it makes a lot of sense.  Girls who don't know how to flirt can be troublesome because it's really difficult to tell if they are into you or not.  There's something to be said for flirting.  It makes me feel good about myself and lets me know that the girl isn't just enduring the conversation until she can find an excuse to leave.

I've been told that I don't give good signals. I think it's because I don't think guys are into me and I don't want to make a fool of myself. I was a late bloomer and used to being the friend of the girl being hit on.
Time for me to change that though as I don't think I'm being complimentary enough to the guy I like right now.




A good start would be to take the duct tape off your nipples.
 
2013-02-15 12:19:18 PM

Snarfangel: spentmiles: I don't think women can flirt or not flirt anymore than they can be pretty or not be pretty.  As a mortician, I've had plenty of time to study people in their most relaxed state, namely dead.  There's something about the way a woman's hair falls when her head turns to one side.  Something about the way her legs cross and uncross.  Something about the gurgling sounds inside of her, like tickling elves laughing.  It's the unconscious things that a woman does that makes her flirty.  And when it works, I just cannot stop myself.  And yes, the stories are actually true - a woman can have an orgasm up to fifteen hours post-mortem.  The nerve endings don't die with the brain.

So...who's up for some baseball?


If she had just told me that it might not have ended this way.

I keed
 
kab
2013-02-15 12:21:22 PM

Lernaeus: I'm wrong when I think I'm being flirted with, and completely oblivious when a woman actually is.


Odd.  I'm right 100% of the time, because I just assume it never happens :)

/it doesn't.
 
2013-02-15 12:22:35 PM

Bedstead Polisher: I've been told that I don't give good signals. I think it's because I don't think guys are into me and I don't want to make a fool of myself. I was a late bloomer and used to being the friend of the girl being hit on.
Time for me to change that though as I don't think I'm being complimentary enough to the guy I like right now.


Skip the signals, ask him out. Or tell him "You're taking me out this weekend.  Pick a good Italian place."  Seriously, just go for it.  At the very least he'll know you're interested.
 
2013-02-15 12:23:46 PM

99.998er: A good start would be to take the duct tape off your nipples.


*looks down* makes me come across as a prude, doesn't it?
 
2013-02-15 12:27:35 PM
Next time you go out, suspend the attention-whoring twunt act and agree to go out on a date with the guy who spent the evening respectfully engaging you.

There you go, ladies, free of charge!
 
2013-02-15 12:29:58 PM

PanicMan: Bedstead Polisher: I've been told that I don't give good signals. I think it's because I don't think guys are into me and I don't want to make a fool of myself. I was a late bloomer and used to being the friend of the girl being hit on.
Time for me to change that though as I don't think I'm being complimentary enough to the guy I like right now.

Skip the signals, ask him out. Or tell him "You're taking me out this weekend.  Pick a good Italian place."  Seriously, just go for it.  At the very least he'll know you're interested.


We've gone out, and I always do the asking. Mostly because he seems interested (like, he'll notice if I'm not around), but doesn't ask, and I start thinking that maybe I'm stand-offish, so I'll suggest we go out.
I think that in general, when I really like a guy, I'm too afraid of messing it up that I don't put myself out there enough, and I think that that is probably my downfall. As "The sound of one hand clapping" said, when a girl flirts with him, he feels good about himself. Who wants to be with a girl who doesn't do that?
 
2013-02-15 12:30:19 PM

Solon Isonomia: Aar1012: So they're going to learn to use such subtle body language that no guy will understand that they are flirting?

/Just let us know

Exactly. Just be your damn self and if you're interested in us just farking say it. We're simple creatures.


That is the truth! My current girlfriend just flat out asked me out on a date. Took me to dinner and to see The Hobbit and paid for it! She is awesome.
 
2013-02-15 12:33:57 PM

spentmiles: I don't think women can flirt or not flirt anymore than they can be pretty or not be pretty.  As a mortician, I've had plenty of time to study people in their most relaxed state, namely dead.  There's something about the way a woman's hair falls when her head turns to one side.  Something about the way her legs cross and uncross.  Something about the gurgling sounds inside of her, like tickling elves laughing.  It's the unconscious things that a woman does that makes her flirty.  And when it works, I just cannot stop myself.  And yes, the stories are actually true - a woman can have an orgasm up to fifteen hours post-mortem.  The nerve endings don't die with the brain.


Pure gold.
 
2013-02-15 12:36:03 PM

Bedstead Polisher: I've been told that I don't give good signals. I think it's because I don't think guys are into me and I don't want to make a fool of myself. I was a late bloomer and used to being the friend of the girl being hit on.
Time for me to change that though as I don't think I'm being complimentary enough to the guy I like right now.


There are ways to unambiguously indicate your interest without the possibility of making a fool of yourself.
"Hey, here's my number; give me a call and we'll go out some night." or "You want to have dinner with me tonight?" would work.  Just make it clear enough that it is a date and not just two buddies going for a beer after work.

Women who need help flirting seem to have forgotten that most men, are at the most basic level, cavemen.  We tend to miss subtleties like compliments, but do respond to getting hit over the head with obvious facts.

If he's single, you're single, and you don't look like spentmiles 15-hour old orgasming corpse, then a man who gets asked out WILL accept.  The chance of rejection is virtually identical to the chances that he's married and/or a priest.
 
2013-02-15 12:36:40 PM
My daughter and her high school friends came up with an interesting concept.  They wear these bracelets of different colors.  Each color represents some sexual act that they're willing to do with a guy.  My daughter and her friends sell the bracelets to their classmates at like $5 profit a piece.  Pretty entrepreneurial, though I guess when a young woman wants a tattoo, the inventiveness springs forth unabated.

The colors represent pretty tame stuff - French kissing, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, vaginal intercourse - all legal and expected kind of stuff.  Nothing like when I was a kid.  What color bracelet would I wear to let the guy at the bike store know that I'm down to earn that new Schwinn?  You want me to pretend I'm autistic?  I've got a bracelet for that too.
 
2013-02-15 12:37:09 PM
Show some cleavage.
If that fails, drop hints about swallowing.
If that fails, he's gay.
 
2013-02-15 12:41:32 PM
The sound of one hand clapping: "Girls who don't know how to flirt can be troublesome because it's really difficult to tell if they are into you or not."

Problem: girls who don't know how to flirt generally *have no clue* they don't know how to flirt.
I'd be willing to bet the girls in these 'flirting classes' (to the extent they exist) *aren't* the ones who don't know how to flirt.
They're the ones who flirt just fine, but aren't getting asked out for whatever reason and would rather latch onto an 'easy fix' explanation than do some serious self-examination.

Because it's much easier for someone to entertain the idea of "I'm bad at flirting" than "I don't take care of myself" or "I come off like a psycho hose beast".
 
2013-02-15 12:45:57 PM

Bedstead Polisher: The sound of one hand clapping: Solon Isonomia: Aar1012: So they're going to learn to use such subtle body language that no guy will understand that they are flirting?

/Just let us know

Exactly. Just be your damn self and if you're interested in us just farking say it. We're simple creatures.

Normally I'd be 100% this.  I can't stand all the dumb games people play in relationships.

That said, I read the article and it makes a lot of sense.  Girls who don't know how to flirt can be troublesome because it's really difficult to tell if they are into you or not.  There's something to be said for flirting.  It makes me feel good about myself and lets me know that the girl isn't just enduring the conversation until she can find an excuse to leave.

I've been told that I don't give good signals. I think it's because I don't think guys are into me and I don't want to make a fool of myself. I was a late bloomer and used to being the friend of the girl being hit on.
Time for me to change that though as I don't think I'm being complimentary enough to the guy I like right now.


For what it's worth, don't worry about the super subtle stuff because us guys wont notice that anyway.

The stuff that I really like the most and that's also easy to spot is either when the girl playfully touches me on the arm a few times whilst chatting, makes sustained eye contact or plays with her hair.  That kind of stuff is pretty easy to spot and it automatically makes me feel good about the conversation.  And the best part is that it doesn't make you vulnerable to any sort of rejection.

The subtle stuff like which way her body is facing or whether her legs are crossed, all that stuff, nope, I wouldn't notice that.
 
2013-02-15 12:46:26 PM

varmitydog: I suppose that you might need flirting lessons if you are fat and/or ugly.  But if you are halfway attractive at all,  all one has to do is what that earworm woman of last summer suggested "Call me maybe"---give the guy your telephone number.  The dating scene is confusing and uncertain, and you could very well waste all your charm on some great guy who is interested in you because of it. But do this and in one fell swoop you wade through all the BS and cut to the chase.

/why would you fark around and pay some conwoman pickup artist good money when you could just do this?


I disagree. These women aren't trying to merely land an average or decent guy; they're trying to land a guy just like that guy from that awesome Romantic Comedy they saw last weekend.
Guys like that (if they even exist) could afford to be *extremely* selective, and would, in all likelihood, would only be interested in women who are as attractive, witty and smart as they are.
For the low, low price of $200 an hour, I can teach these women how to land that guy. They deserve better.
 
2013-02-15 12:48:37 PM

Bedstead Polisher: I think that in general, when I really like a guy, I'm too afraid of messing it up that I don't put myself out there enough, and I think that that is probably my downfall.


Trust me, guys do that too.  Maybe he's the same way?  Dating isn't easy, good luck.
 
2013-02-15 12:49:00 PM

spentmiles: My daughter and her high school friends came up with an interesting concept.  They wear these bracelets of different colors.  Each color represents some sexual act that they're willing to do with a guy.  My daughter and her friends sell the bracelets to their classmates at like $5 profit a piece.  Pretty entrepreneurial, though I guess when a young woman wants a tattoo, the inventiveness springs forth unabated.

The colors represent pretty tame stuff - French kissing, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, vaginal intercourse - all legal and expected kind of stuff.  Nothing like when I was a kid.  What color bracelet would I wear to let the guy at the bike store know that I'm down to earn that new Schwinn?  You want me to pretend I'm autistic?  I've got a bracelet for that too.


Been watching a bit of Southpark?
 
2013-02-15 12:49:49 PM

spentmiles: My daughter and her high school friends came up with an interesting concept.  They wear these bracelets of different colors.  Each color represents some sexual act that they're willing to do with a guy.  My daughter and her friends sell the bracelets to their classmates at like $5 profit a piece.  Pretty entrepreneurial, though I guess when a young woman wants a tattoo, the inventiveness springs forth unabated.

The colors represent pretty tame stuff - French kissing, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, vaginal intercourse - all legal and expected kind of stuff.  Nothing like when I was a kid.  What color bracelet would I wear to let the guy at the bike store know that I'm down to earn that new Schwinn?  You want me to pretend I'm autistic?  I've got a bracelet for that too.


You rock, spent. You rock.
 
2013-02-15 12:52:09 PM

Lernaeus: I think I need to take a class in how to recognize that a woman is flirting with me.

I'm wrong when I think I'm being flirted with, and completely oblivious when a woman actually is. It takes a friend telling me after the fact, or me finally realizing it a few days later - but by then, the moment has passed, and if I go back and try, I'm so awkward, nervous, and self-conscious that I appear the sudden victim of massive brain trauma.

"That spastic clod who couldn't form words is really cute and interesting," said no one ever.


I don't remember posting in this thread already... But yeah, you're not alone in that problem. I have this bad tendency to assume a girl isn't interested in me, so I don't realize it when they are.
 
2013-02-15 12:57:18 PM

spentmiles: I don't think women can flirt or not flirt anymore than they can be pretty or not be pretty.  As a mortician, I've had plenty of time to study people in their most relaxed state, namely dead.  There's something about the way a woman's hair falls when her head turns to one side.  Something about the way her legs cross and uncross.  Something about the gurgling sounds inside of her, like tickling elves laughing.  It's the unconscious things that a woman does that makes her flirty.  And when it works, I just cannot stop myself.  And yes, the stories are actually true - a woman can have an orgasm up to fifteen hours post-mortem.  The nerve endings don't die with the brain.


I've had you favorited for quite some time now and when I see your special color come up, I make sure I do not have a mouth full of any beverage before reading further.  I learned my lesson long ago to do this.  Once again I'm glad I did.
 
2013-02-15 12:57:57 PM

megarian: gamergirl23: megarian: futalfufu: My flirting technique is to drink too much, then find a cute guy, stumble up to him, hit him on the arm a few times to let him know I like him, then tell him that Angela is my favorite of all the 80s deranged psychopaths before walking away.

/always leave them wanting more
//haven't figured out that last part yet

I go for the guy drunker than I am. That way if things get weird, I just run in a zig-zag pattern. It disorients them.

Works for eluding alligators, too.

How do you get those drunk first?

The alligators? Easy. Fill a baby with whiskey (vodka will do in a pinch). Scent the baby with Cheetos by placing Cheetos and baby in a large bag. Shake vigorously (alligators love Cheetos). Throw the baby in front of alligator. Leave nature to do the rest.

You're welcome.



/Why you just got favorited.
 
2013-02-15 01:00:35 PM

WhippingBoy: I know a number of women who have a "perfect guy" list, and they swear that they won't accept anything less in a boyfriend (think of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme).
The problem is that none of these women are in any way remarkable: not beautiful, not witty, not particularly intelligent (e.g. mostly average, like the rest of us), yet they somehow believe that they "deserve" the best of the best.


I've noticed the same thing too it's crazy - especially on online dating websites. I gave that plenty of fish site a try. I'm a decent looking guy, never had too much trouble getting girlfriends in real life - but on that site? Pffff I couldn't even get a response back from hardly anyone. Every average to below average looking girl on that site expects a tall, dark, handsome, millionaire who writes love haiku's and owns multiple vacation homes.
 
2013-02-15 01:05:33 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: For what it's worth, don't worry about the super subtle stuff because us guys wont notice that anyway.

The stuff that I really like the most and that's also easy to spot is either when the girl playfully touches me on the arm a few times whilst chatting, makes sustained eye contact or plays with her hair. That kind of stuff is pretty easy to spot and it automatically makes me feel good about the conversation. And the best part is that it doesn't make you vulnerable to any sort of rejection.

The subtle stuff like which way her body is facing or whether her legs are crossed, all that stuff, nope, I wouldn't notice that.


It's not necessarily that guys don't notice, is that they don't pay it much heed because girls who are *not* flirting tend to also do all that same subtle stuff.
 
2013-02-15 01:07:49 PM

WhippingBoy: I know a number of women who have a "perfect guy" list, and they swear that they won't accept anything less in a boyfriend (think of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme).
The problem is that none of these women are in any way remarkable: not beautiful, not witty, not particularly intelligent (e.g. mostly average, like the rest of us), yet they somehow believe that they "deserve" the best of the best.

I'm investing in cat breeding companies; I expect the demand for multiple cats is going to skyrocket as these women hit their 30's and 40's.


There was some article a while back about some statistical breakdowns from the site, "Hot or Not".

While obviously there's reasons for the information to be biased, the funny thing was that guys tended to be more *accurate* in their assessments of women.

The guys rated women fairly, so the average girl turned out to be a 5. The girls on the other hand, put the average guy as a 3 (on a scale of 1-10 for those not familiar with the site).

I find it interesting because I've seen the same types of girls you've spoken about in my life as well. I'm wondering if part of it is due to the Disney princesses and Barbies they worship as they grow up. I mean, if you spend your entire life being told by your dad and mom that your beautiful, and spend hours looking at a Ken doll, or a prince from one of those movies, you're probably going to be pretty farked up about what's realistic for you to obtain.
 
2013-02-15 01:09:31 PM
images.posterjunction.com
 
2013-02-15 01:16:23 PM
Is NoScript playing games or does the link for "The lost art of offline dating" go to a story about nightclub fires?
 
2013-02-15 01:16:55 PM

royone: [images.posterjunction.com image 580x859]


You've got to give her credit though; "I bet idiots would actually for this," is a much more productive reaction than the average, "eeh, I guess I've seen worse."

keepitcherry: WhippingBoy: I know a number of women who have a "perfect guy" list, and they swear that they won't accept anything less in a boyfriend (think of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme).
The problem is that none of these women are in any way remarkable: not beautiful, not witty, not particularly intelligent (e.g. mostly average, like the rest of us), yet they somehow believe that they "deserve" the best of the best.

I've noticed the same thing too it's crazy - especially on online dating websites. I gave that plenty of fish site a try. I'm a decent looking guy, never had too much trouble getting girlfriends in real life - but on that site? Pffff I couldn't even get a response back from hardly anyone. Every average to below average looking girl on that site expects a tall, dark, handsome, millionaire who writes love haiku's and owns multiple vacation homes.


It's a dating website, nothing's stopping you from being a tall, dark, handsome millionaire.
 
2013-02-15 01:17:53 PM

uksocal: Is NoScript playing games or does the link for "The lost art of offline dating" go to a story about nightclub fires?


It does. Didn't know webservers had a sense of humor.
 
2013-02-15 01:18:06 PM

Gabrielmot: WhippingBoy: I know a number of women who have a "perfect guy" list, and they swear that they won't accept anything less in a boyfriend (think of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme).
The problem is that none of these women are in any way remarkable: not beautiful, not witty, not particularly intelligent (e.g. mostly average, like the rest of us), yet they somehow believe that they "deserve" the best of the best.

I'm investing in cat breeding companies; I expect the demand for multiple cats is going to skyrocket as these women hit their 30's and 40's.

There was some article a while back about some statistical breakdowns from the site, "Hot or Not".

While obviously there's reasons for the information to be biased, the funny thing was that guys tended to be more *accurate* in their assessments of women.

The guys rated women fairly, so the average girl turned out to be a 5. The girls on the other hand, put the average guy as a 3 (on a scale of 1-10 for those not familiar with the site).

I find it interesting because I've seen the same types of girls you've spoken about in my life as well. I'm wondering if part of it is due to the Disney princesses and Barbies they worship as they grow up. I mean, if you spend your entire life being told by your dad and mom that your beautiful, and spend hours looking at a Ken doll, or a prince from one of those movies, you're probably going to be pretty farked up about what's realistic for you to obtain.


I think it's more the "self esteem at all costs" culture that they grew up in. Everyone was told that they were awesome without having to work for it.
 
2013-02-15 01:19:26 PM

ProfessorOhki: It's a dating website, nothing's stopping you from being a tall, dark, handsome millionaire.


If any guys did this, I honestly couldn't blame them.

Women lie a lot about themselves on dating sites.  It's always wonderful spending a first date being continually disappointed as you find out the person you are with is not the person you thought you'd be meeting.
 
2013-02-15 01:21:42 PM
Please help, I was born with the inability to know if a female is flirting.  It's quite debilitating and it really sucks when I find out later about a opportunity that was missed.
 
2013-02-15 01:23:01 PM

ProfessorOhki: uksocal: Is NoScript playing games or does the link for "The lost art of offline dating" go to a story about nightclub fires?

It does. Didn't know webservers had a sense of humor.


Farker, out thyself!
 
2013-02-15 01:25:22 PM
What a successful, qualified flirt coach might look like.
cache.downloads.moviesnxs.com
 
2013-02-15 01:31:23 PM

Gabrielmot: WhippingBoy: I know a number of women who have a "perfect guy" list, and they swear that they won't accept anything less in a boyfriend (think of the Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" meme).
The problem is that none of these women are in any way remarkable: not beautiful, not witty, not particularly intelligent (e.g. mostly average, like the rest of us), yet they somehow believe that they "deserve" the best of the best.

I'm investing in cat breeding companies; I expect the demand for multiple cats is going to skyrocket as these women hit their 30's and 40's.

There was some article a while back about some statistical breakdowns from the site, "Hot or Not".

While obviously there's reasons for the information to be biased, the funny thing was that guys tended to be more *accurate* in their assessments of women.

The guys rated women fairly, so the average girl turned out to be a 5. The girls on the other hand, put the average guy as a 3 (on a scale of 1-10 for those not familiar with the site).

I find it interesting because I've seen the same types of girls you've spoken about in my life as well. I'm wondering if part of it is due to the Disney princesses and Barbies they worship as they grow up. I mean, if you spend your entire life being told by your dad and mom that your beautiful, and spend hours looking at a Ken doll, or a prince from one of those movies, you're probably going to be pretty farked up about what's realistic for you to obtain.



Unless it's beauty and the beast...then there just may be a whole nother issue to deal with there.

The sound of one hand clapping: ProfessorOhki: It's a dating website, nothing's stopping you from being a tall, dark, handsome millionaire.

If any guys did this, I honestly couldn't blame them.

Women lie a lot about themselves on dating sites.  It's always wonderful spending a first date being continually disappointed as you find out the person you are with is not the person you thought you'd be meeting.



I brought this up in the dating thread from the other day, but guys DO do this. I had many of those dates myself. Something about onlne dating seems to put people in the frame of mind that they can obtain those they normally wouldn't.
 
2013-02-15 01:31:59 PM

GoldSpider: Next time you go out, suspend the attention-whoring twunt act and agree to go out on a date with the guy who spent the evening respectfully engaging you.

There you go, ladies, free of charge!


THIS.

Women: Never equate politeness and respectfulness in a man with boring or "nice". That polite guy you think is cute is probably a great person.
 
2013-02-15 01:34:01 PM

Gabrielmot: There was some article a while back about some statistical breakdowns from the site, "Hot or Not".

While obviously there's reasons for the information to be biased, the funny thing was that guys tended to be more *accurate* in their assessments of women.

The guys rated women fairly, so the average girl turned out to be a 5. The girls on the other hand, put the average guy as a 3 (on a scale of 1-10 for those not familiar with the site).

I find it interesting because I've seen the same types of girls you've spoken about in my life as well. I'm wondering if part of it is due to the Disney princesses and Barbies they worship as they grow up. I mean, if you spend your entire life being told by your dad and mom that your beautiful, and spend hours looking at a Ken doll, or a prince from one of those movies, you're probably going to be pretty farked up about what's realistic for you to obtain.


How did they know there Hot or Not had a bell curve population (a few fuglies, mostly middle-of-the-road, and a few Salma Hayeks)?  It could have been that the female population had this distribution, while the male population was more similar to that of chatroulette.
 
2013-02-15 01:37:57 PM

Karac: Gabrielmot: There was some article a while back about some statistical breakdowns from the site, "Hot or Not".

While obviously there's reasons for the information to be biased, the funny thing was that guys tended to be more *accurate* in their assessments of women.

The guys rated women fairly, so the average girl turned out to be a 5. The girls on the other hand, put the average guy as a 3 (on a scale of 1-10 for those not familiar with the site).

I find it interesting because I've seen the same types of girls you've spoken about in my life as well. I'm wondering if part of it is due to the Disney princesses and Barbies they worship as they grow up. I mean, if you spend your entire life being told by your dad and mom that your beautiful, and spend hours looking at a Ken doll, or a prince from one of those movies, you're probably going to be pretty farked up about what's realistic for you to obtain.

How did they know there Hot or Not had a bell curve population (a few fuglies, mostly middle-of-the-road, and a few Salma Hayeks)?  It could have been that the female population had this distribution, while the male population was more similar to that of chatroulette.


If you're curious about stuff like this, OkTrends is a must.
 
2013-02-15 01:38:00 PM
If you read all these articles and practice this kind of stuff ladies you'll land the typical douche nozzle that has to be at the gym in 26 minutes. Be nice and be yourself. It works wonders.
 
2013-02-15 01:44:41 PM
I've always been horrible at flirting. My moves usually involve talking to a guy long enough to feel confident that he's not repulsed by me and then unsubtely asking him out. It probably doesn't help that I tend to go for geeky guys who have a lot of trouble recognizing that they're being flirted with.

/first sign that my husband was a winner: he asked me out
 
2013-02-15 01:45:37 PM

Thrakkorzog: Be nice and be yourself.


That's a contradiction for a lot of people.
 
2013-02-15 01:49:13 PM

blatz514: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 225x225]


Parts of Zimbabwe would like to disagree with you.
 
2013-02-15 01:50:21 PM
Ok, ladies, if you're thinking about pulling this passive-aggressive shiat, there are two possibilities:

1. We are interested in you
1a. We would have already hit on you

2. We are not interested in you
2a. You start "signaling" your interest
2b. If we even notice it, and we probably won't, it's not going to make us change our earlier decision not to be interested in you
2c. In fact, now that you've revealed your little passive-aggressive act, it will make us even less interested

Moral of the story: Flirt because it's fun to flirt. Don't flirt to get a specific guy. It doesn't work. If you want to do something that will actually help you get a guy you have to step it up.
 
2013-02-15 01:52:04 PM

megarian: gamergirl23: megarian: futalfufu: My flirting technique is to drink too much, then find a cute guy, stumble up to him, hit him on the arm a few times to let him know I like him, then tell him that Angela is my favorite of all the 80s deranged psychopaths before walking away.

/always leave them wanting more
//haven't figured out that last part yet

I go for the guy drunker than I am. That way if things get weird, I just run in a zig-zag pattern. It disorients them.

Works for eluding alligators, too.

How do you get those drunk first?

The alligators? Easy. Fill a baby with whiskey (vodka will do in a pinch). Scent the baby with Cheetos by placing Cheetos and baby in a large bag. Shake vigorously (alligators love Cheetos). Throw the baby in front of alligator. Leave nature to do the rest.

You're welcome.


Megarian! You are TOTALLY killing me over here; I am dying laughing. And oh boy, do I need the LOLs today!

Anyway -- this whole idea about flirting coaches is just so off. All women have to do is just be their genuine, natural selves. Don't "try," just "be."  Works for me.
 
2013-02-15 01:53:10 PM

Snarfangel: spentmiles: I don't think women can flirt or not flirt anymore than they can be pretty or not be pretty.  As a mortician, I've had plenty of time to study people in their most relaxed state, namely dead.  There's something about the way a woman's hair falls when her head turns to one side.  Something about the way her legs cross and uncross.  Something about the gurgling sounds inside of her, like tickling elves laughing.  It's the unconscious things that a woman does that makes her flirty.  And when it works, I just cannot stop myself.  And yes, the stories are actually true - a woman can have an orgasm up to fifteen hours post-mortem.  The nerve endings don't die with the brain.

So...who's up for some baseball?


There's no need to think about baseball with the dead. Or brush your teeth.
 
2013-02-15 01:55:57 PM

Sybarite: brap: Maintaining eye contact is key.


[www.adweek.com image 484x272]

Yes, yes it is.


Would love to see her in a porn where her eyes are that wide but she has 3 BBCs in her mouth. At the same time. With her mascara running.
 
2013-02-15 02:04:00 PM
I need a flirting coach to teach me how to be friendly without coming across as flirting.  I've had the weirdest women ask me out and no it's not cool, it's really awkward.
 
2013-02-15 02:10:29 PM
That was probably me. Was it because I mentioned that I keep all my deceased beta fish stapled to my wall? Or was it the Phineas and Ferb tattoo? It was the beta fish thing, wasn't it?

Can't win 'em all.
 
2013-02-15 02:10:30 PM

spentmiles: I don't think women can flirt or not flirt anymore than they can be pretty or not be pretty.  As a mortician, I've had plenty of time to study people in their most relaxed state, namely dead.  There's something about the way a woman's hair falls when her head turns to one side.  Something about the way her legs cross and uncross.  Something about the gurgling sounds inside of her, like tickling elves laughing.  It's the unconscious things that a woman does that makes her flirty.  And when it works, I just cannot stop myself.  And yes, the stories are actually true - a woman can have an orgasm up to fifteen hours post-mortem.  The nerve endings don't die with the brain.


Isn't the inevitable break up always messy though?
 
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