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(Daily Mail)   30 percent of office romances lead to marriage. The other 70 percent lead to awkward post-breakup interaction and headaches for the HR department   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 40
    More: Interesting, fraternization, public displays of affection, Julie Chen, employee surveys  
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6593 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 11:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-15 10:58:35 AM
14 votes:
Back in the late 80's, I was sleeping with a coworker that I shared an office with.

Predictably, it ended in disaster.

/We've been married for 22 years.
2013-02-15 12:01:24 PM
8 votes:
I have no problem having sexual relations at work.

It's one of the benefits of being a Catholic priest.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-15 09:44:00 AM
7 votes:
All my current female coworkers are married. Job before that, our one woman employee was engaged (and the insanely cute consultant was married). Before that, the only woman was the HR recruiter who was only there a few hours per month. Before that, all married or really nasty looking. Before that, married, engaged, or sleeping with our boss. Before that, it was almost love at first sight except she already had a girlfriend.

So I'm thinking I need to get out of the computer field.
2013-02-15 11:54:37 AM
4 votes:

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Back in the late 80's, I was sleeping with a coworker that I shared an office with.

Predictably, it ended in disaster.

/We've been married for 22 years.


That's horrible. May your life serve as a warning to others.
2013-02-15 11:48:56 AM
4 votes:

blatz514: One night stands don't equal romance.


That's not true. I light a candle.
2013-02-15 01:19:19 PM
3 votes:
I have sex at work all the time, and things have never been awkward.

/Proud farmer
2013-02-15 12:07:02 PM
3 votes:

farkerofDOOM: Meh.  I'm going to hell for a number of reasons.  Working in HR is not one of them.  Trust me.


I'm trying to think of something worse than working for HR:
- selling drugs to toddlers
- raping babies to death
- genocide


Nope...
2013-02-15 10:29:48 AM
3 votes:
Was that wrong?  Should I not have done that?
2013-02-15 12:45:47 PM
2 votes:

farkerofDOOM: vento: Question for the HR people in this thread:  Why is it so difficult for you to call someone back or let them know where the interview process is?  I've been at my current job for 15 years (get off my office lawn!), but I had that experience then and I have several friends who are experiencing the same now.  The process appears to be:

1.  Send in your resume/CV
2.  HR contacts you to set up interview
3.  Interview where they talk up how awesome they are
4.  You send thank you note
5.  (radio silence from HR)
6.  Contact HR for status.  No return contact.
7.  (radio silence from HR)
8.  Contact HR again.  No return contact.
9.  (more radio silence from HR)
10a.  They call you a month later asking if you'd like the position.
10b.  You get a job elsewhere or continue looking

(intentional caps lock)  WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' DIFFICULT FOR HR TO MAKE A PHONE CALL?  Even if it's just to say, "Hey, we don't have any information yet.  Just hold tight."  The one thing HR-folk need to realize is that you make your company look like shiat by not communicating.  You interviewed me, and if I said that communication wasn't a strong point, would you hire me?  Yet, from my experience on both sides (employed and trying to gain employment), anyone in the HR department sucks at getting back to you in any useable amount of time.

/the people in accounting can give the HR department a run for their money

A lot of the time, it's just due to the sheer amount of recruiting and applicants.  One recruiter could be covering 20+ postings, and if they only bring in 3 applicants for each open position to interview, that's 60 people that they have to continually follow up with.  It's a crappy excuse and it sucks.

Some recruiters I know have pre-canned emails that they'll send out to make things easier saying, "thanks for coming in, we're still reviewing candidates, if you don't hear from us in two weeks, please feel free to reach out to us".

I can completely agree with what you're saying t ...


Excellent response.  Thank you for responding so quickly.  ;-P
2013-02-15 12:09:21 PM
2 votes:
I met my husband at work, 13 years on and we still mock the HR department coont who told us 'fraternisation' could make others in the workplace feel uncomfortable.  I wonder how uncomfortable she felt when her co-worker boyfriend's wife found out where he contracted the galloping nob rot from.
2013-02-15 12:00:43 PM
2 votes:

Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.


How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.
2013-02-15 10:37:11 AM
2 votes:
How many lead to bunny boiling?
2013-02-15 10:26:39 AM
2 votes:
Ah, nothing like fishing off the company pier.
2013-02-15 07:36:44 PM
1 votes:

heili skrimsli: Yeah, but as an engineer I don't really need to spend all my time being bubbly with Nina from Corporate Accounts Payable. I need to get along with the other engineers, who probably hate Nina's bubbly farking sing-song voice and her arrangement of corporate-sponsored 'fun' just as much as I do.


2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-15 04:01:31 PM
1 votes:

bigbabysurfer: That happened in 2005, and I haven't dated at work since.


Well shiat, you should.  For our benefit if not for yours.
2013-02-15 03:34:12 PM
1 votes:
I just masturbate at work.
2013-02-15 02:52:28 PM
1 votes:
Why bother having sex with coworkers when you can duck the afternoon staff meeting and go and bone the boss' wife?
2013-02-15 02:34:00 PM
1 votes:
The only people more useless than HR departments are the self important IT monkeys.
2013-02-15 02:13:51 PM
1 votes:
our HR gal read 50 shades of crap and started asking me questions
I enjoy after work activities so I answered them
the day came when she was at the house for a scene
she was scared of my dog-bad sign
then told me she had herpes
then found out her bra was full of fried eggs
then the body hair
scared of electricity, scared of sensation play,
in love with spanking so I had to be close up
I had to throw away some rope and try to scrape my mind clean afterwards
Still friendly, but avoided having another scene with her until she got a boyfriend
oh thank the gods
2013-02-15 02:00:23 PM
1 votes:

dopekitty74: ObscureNameHere: farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Good question.

"Hey could go see Carol and get those TPS reports?"
"Sure!"
*walk into office*
"Hi Caro--- whoa! *trip over box, pants fall off, erection ensues, Carol is not wearing panties and is bent over desk*
*fleshy impact noise*
"Aaaah!" *sploorch*
"umm.. so... umm *zip up* do you have any TPS reports?"

Congratulations! You're now farkied in a lovely shade of pink as *fleshy impact noise*


I'm hoping for pictures of Carol.
2013-02-15 01:57:00 PM
1 votes:

ObscureNameHere: farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Good question.

"Hey could go see Carol and get those TPS reports?"
"Sure!"
*walk into office*
"Hi Caro--- whoa! *trip over box, pants fall off, erection ensues, Carol is not wearing panties and is bent over desk*
*fleshy impact noise*
"Aaaah!" *sploorch*
"umm.. so... umm *zip up* do you have any TPS reports?"


Congratulations! You're now farkied in a lovely shade of pink as *fleshy impact noise*
2013-02-15 01:46:23 PM
1 votes:
A few years ago, I consulted for a large-ish company that was having problems recruiting and retaining appropriate candidates for highly-skilled, technical positions. I spent time looking at how involved Human Resources was with their hiring process.

Their HR department, in addition to screening via resume, was given its own telephone and in-person interview with the candidate. They would ask soft and squishy fit questions like "Tell me about a time you had a conflict with a co-worker" or "What's the last book you read and what did it mean to you?" or "What does our corporate value statement mean to you?"

 Candidates who did not pass these interviews could not continue in the selection process

We ended up removing Human Resources from most of the hiring process. Their streamlined HR department handled basic background checks, employment history, and reference checks, along with the usual vetting of employment advertisement/postings to make sure that the company didn't run afoul of any legal issues in recruitment and selection.

HR no longer had anything to do with the actual interview process. Their general counsel recommended that an HR rep be present at the interview, but HR was no longer allowed to actively participate in the interview itself.

HR complained mightily about being marginalized, but over three years on the company has improved its one year and three year retention rates significantly. It turns out that departments were better able to figure out both who would be a better fit and who had either the appropriate skill set or best potential to acquire the necessary skills on the job.

Human resources is very good at some very rudimentary things during the hiring process, but for this particular client I found that minimizing HR's role in hiring process led to better results.

/Got a fat bonus for all the money I saved them
//HR departments are the first thing I look at when a client tells me they're having issues with employee retention
///Going to need you to come in on Saturday
2013-02-15 01:30:18 PM
1 votes:
My HR CSB:

It's 1989, at a Fortune 500 company, in the world's tallest building. I'm a young copywriter at a retail company that's undergoing staff-reductions in all departments. I'm called into a meeting with my National Manager and the HR rep.

Them: Good news. There is a job for you. It's not in this department, it'll be in a new department called "Strategic Marketing". Would you like to take it?

Me: Well, thank you. What would I be doing?

Them: Strategic marketing.

Me: What is that?

Them: We don't really know yet.

Me: Who will I be working for?

Them: We don't quite know that either, yet.

Me: Do you know how much it will pay?

Them: (literally, an eyeroll, implying it's dumb of me to even ask such a question)

Me: Well, how long do I have to think this over?

Them: (long pause) We need an answer.

Me: You mean... today?

Them: Welllllllllll... (sigh) OK, you can have a couple of hours, tops.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later. I've been in the new position for several days now, and I still have very little clue what the job is supposed to be or even how much it pays. But at least I'm still gainfully employed during a bad recession. My department head hands me a form to fill out, for the purpose of making new business cards. I get to the space marked "Title" and I'm stumped. So I call my HR rep...

Me: Hi. I need to know my actual job title. It's for my business card.

HR: OK, let me look that up. (long pause)  Huh. Let me get back to you.

(20 minutes later, the junior assistant to the HR rep calls me)

Me: Hi. Is this about my job title?

HR asst: Yes! How did you know?!

Me: Lucky guess. So...?

HR asst: So...?

Me: Wait, are you asking ME what my job title is?

HR asst.: Uh-huh.

In a flash, I could see what had happened. I asked the rep, and she didn't know. So she delegated the task of finding out to her underling... who did the obvious and logic thing. She called me to ask me.

It took all the discipline I could muster to keep from answering "Pimp Kingpin" or "Evil Genius". Because, without doubt, that's what my mutherfarking business card would have said. And it would have been awesome.
2013-02-15 01:24:19 PM
1 votes:
I'm 41 and banging a hot 24 year old redhead from work... oops.
2013-02-15 12:19:57 PM
1 votes:

pdieten: If you can't get past the HR screening interview, maybe you should try not rubbing everyone the wrong way.


So you have to put up with the HR girl's bullshiat and tell her what she wants to hear. I learned that a long time ago and it's not the most professional way to choose who to hire but it's the game you have to play. Sort of like knowing how to convince a stripper to come back to your hotel room with you.
2013-02-15 12:17:45 PM
1 votes:

Mugato: farkerofDOOM: 2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm sorry Kitten, I was referring to every HR person except you.


Thanks, Pookie =)  xoxo
2013-02-15 12:15:06 PM
1 votes:

rev. dave: Years ago I helped my GF get a job with my company.  She cheated on me with some basement dweller that I had to work with for 5 more years until I left,  it was more awkward working with him than her afterwards since I had to repress my urge to retaliate.


Were you going to sleep with him too to get back at her? NTTIAWWT
2013-02-15 12:09:48 PM
1 votes:
I actually feel bad for HR. There's so much petty office politics bullshiat that goes on, they must get so many stupid, worthless complaints all the time. I don't think I'd be able to go more than a week without cracking and just yelling, "Who cares?! Grow the fark up and get back to work. Jesus christ, no one cares."
2013-02-15 12:09:30 PM
1 votes:
I work for a division of my company that is 80-90% women right out of college, who specialize in health & fitness.

Why yes, I do love my job! :^D
2013-02-15 12:07:58 PM
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Car_Ramrod: farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Alcohol. There was lots of alcohol. I don't actually remember much other than waking up in her bed. I'm not saying it wasn't a pleasant surprise, she's not an unattractive lady, I just had no such plans when I was sober.

I think that's called rape.


I should've really talked to HR about that.
2013-02-15 12:06:49 PM
1 votes:
A survey by Career Builder found that 30per cent of colleagues who dated ended their relationship with a trip down the wedding aisle.

Well, that's a pessimistic view of life after marriage.
2013-02-15 12:06:47 PM
1 votes:

farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.


Good question.

"Hey could go see Carol and get those TPS reports?"
"Sure!"
*walk into office*
"Hi Caro--- whoa! *trip over box, pants fall off, erection ensues, Carol is not wearing panties and is bent over desk*
*fleshy impact noise*
"Aaaah!" *sploorch*
"umm.. so... umm *zip up* do you have any TPS reports?"
2013-02-15 12:02:59 PM
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

May you burn in Hell for all eternity.


Meh.  I'm going to hell for a number of reasons.  Working in HR is not one of them.  Trust me.
2013-02-15 12:02:25 PM
1 votes:
I suppose you probably have to work with people who are sexually compatible, single, and attractive. My workplace lacks all three.
2013-02-15 11:54:10 AM
1 votes:
When I was a young software developer, I fell for the head of the testing department. It might have been a problem for HR, but fortunately, the company crashed and burned within a month and we were all fired.

/ Happily married for 13 years.
2013-02-15 11:52:11 AM
1 votes:

Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.


I agree, fark HR.   I've never met a department in a company that is so incompetent.  They know how to ruin a good interview,
Me: "what's entailed in the job"
HR: "reads the description"
Me: "well does that mean this or that?"
HR: "I don't know, you'll have to ask the manager after you're hired"
Me: Then how do I know I want the job?
HR: OMG BENEFITS!
Me: right benefits are usually a standard package, I want to know what my scope of work will be
HR: ...
2013-02-15 11:49:55 AM
1 votes:
Office romances are weird because you're not really "yourself" at work. You're this improved version of yourself so when you date someone and finally see the real them, it's doubly shocking. And yes, I know most are on their best behavior on civilian first dates but it's more striking to see the difference when you've only been exposed to someone's "office self" for 8 hours a day, year in and year out.
2013-02-15 11:41:41 AM
1 votes:
Don't come where you eat.

/Female boss wanted to fark me, but I was farking another girl from across the hall. Bossy found out. Trouble, nothing but trouble, ensued.
2013-02-15 11:39:29 AM
1 votes:
That's a 30% failure rate.
The two purposes of office romance are 1) sex and 2) alleviate boredom at work.
2013-02-15 10:30:43 AM
1 votes:
Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.
 
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