I think you mean the other 99%

That's a 30% failure rate.
The two purposes of office romance are 1) sex and 2) alleviate boredom at work.

Ultimate Surrenders!

Don't come where you eat.

/Female boss wanted to fark me, but I was farking another girl from across the hall. Bossy found out. Trouble, nothing but trouble, ensued.

The Office handled this very subject really well last night. Hilarity ensued.

My company seems to have an abnorminably large number of married couples working for it.

I think I'm also the only single person working here

Sexual relationships have no negative impact in the workplace environment.

There was an article a couple weeks ago saying that Safety Professionals are the #5 profession to hook up with each other.

Most of the women I've worked with have NEVER been of the type I'd want to hook up with.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Back in the late 80's, I was sleeping with a coworker that I shared an office with.

Predictably, it ended in disaster.

/We've been married for 22 years.

We are the 30 percenters.  Married 19 years in July..  Still working together.

blatz514: One night stands don't equal romance.

That's not true. I light a candle.

Been living, working, and playing with my co-worker for over 5 years now. To be honest, it's the work that interferes with our personal life at times, not the other way around.

At least when I get home I have someone to talk to who has a clue what I do.

Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

Office romances are weird because you're not really "yourself" at work. You're this improved version of yourself so when you date someone and finally see the real them, it's doubly shocking. And yes, I know most are on their best behavior on civilian first dates but it's more striking to see the difference when you've only been exposed to someone's "office self" for 8 hours a day, year in and year out.

The best thing about office romances is having sex at work.
Its best when she or he, is into risky sex. Like having sex on the conference table in the execs boardroom. Or behind the server racks.

Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

I agree, fark HR.   I've never met a department in a company that is so incompetent.  They know how to ruin a good interview,
Me: "what's entailed in the job"
HR: "reads the description"
Me: "well does that mean this or that?"
HR: "I don't know, you'll have to ask the manager after you're hired"
Me: Then how do I know I want the job?
HR: OMG BENEFITS!
Me: right benefits are usually a standard package, I want to know what my scope of work will be
HR: ...

When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat. We were off/on for a few months, but we worked in completely different departments at the opposite ends of the office, so minimal awkwardness around other people as we didn't tell anyone. Still, it was too much for me, so I ended it the easiest way possible, by moving back to Chicago.

Good times.

ZAZ: All my current female coworkers are married. Job before that, our one woman employee was engaged (and the insanely cute consultant was married). Before that, the only woman was the HR recruiter who was only there a few hours per month. Before that, all married or really nasty looking. Before that, married, engaged, or sleeping with our boss. Before that, it was almost love at first sight except she already had a girlfriend.

So I'm thinking I need to get out of the computer field.

No, you need to STAY in the computer field and not look for dates at work.

When I was a young software developer, I fell for the head of the testing department. It might have been a problem for HR, but fortunately, the company crashed and burned within a month and we were all fired.

/ Happily married for 13 years.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Back in the late 80's, I was sleeping with a coworker that I shared an office with.

Predictably, it ended in disaster.

/We've been married for 22 years.

That's horrible. May your life serve as a warning to others.

Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

I completely agree with you, when hiring people for technical(i.e. revenue generating and not overhead like HR) positions, HR does it's best to ruin the experience for everyone involved.

Don't dip your pen in the company inkwell.

Women in combat.

Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

I have no problem having sexual relations at work.

It's one of the benefits of being a Catholic priest.

farkerofDOOM: Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

May you burn in Hell for all eternity.

I suppose you probably have to work with people who are sexually compatible, single, and attractive. My workplace lacks all three.

farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Alcohol. There was lots of alcohol. I don't actually remember much other than waking up in her bed. I'm not saying it wasn't a pleasant surprise, she's not an unattractive lady, I just had no such plans when I was sober.

That's only a problem because HR exists in the first place.
Fark HR, the parasites.

WhippingBoy: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

May you burn in Hell for all eternity.

Meh.  I'm going to hell for a number of reasons.  Working in HR is not one of them.  Trust me.

Car_Ramrod: farm machine: Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat.

How does one accidentally sleep with a co-worker?  I have a number of cows where I work and I'd truly like to avoid having that occur.

Alcohol. There was lots of alcohol. I don't actually remember much other than waking up in her bed. I'm not saying it wasn't a pleasant surprise, she's not an unattractive lady, I just had no such plans when I was sober.

I think that's called rape.

Had administrative assistant make me a copy of her boobies on the copy machine once. This was after I took the skin boat to tuna town. I wish I would have kept that copy.
/Spank bank copies are still in decent shape
//SVA if you read this please send me a dirty picture

It's come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?



Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

farkerofDOOM: As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

That's bullshiat.
HR is the problem. There are no zero defect human beings. Get over it and find a real job, one in which you do productive work with economic value.

/Oh right. You probably can't get hired because ... oh man ... of your employment history.