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(Daily Mail)   30 percent of office romances lead to marriage. The other 70 percent lead to awkward post-breakup interaction and headaches for the HR department   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, fraternization, public displays of affection, Julie Chen, employee surveys  
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6616 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2013 at 11:35 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-15 12:43:34 PM  
Been in my office for 3 years; in that time 3 office relationships formed.  The first relationship moved outta state but they ended up getting married and are still together.  The 2nd couple did a terrible job of hiding it, dated for a while and then broke up.  Kept it real professional after that but then the guy left to go be a priest so that ended any kind of awkwardness....though I can't imagine wondering if I was the reason a guy decided to be a farking PRIEST.  Seriously that could be enough to fark up anyone.  And the last couple, the girl dumped her fiance OUTSIDE the company for the guy in her cubicle aisle....they got married last year.
 
2013-02-15 12:44:51 PM  

farkerofDOOM: As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that. A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want. A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.


So its just the 90% who give the other 10% a bad name?

I could jump in with my examples of HR glory.  A prominent one was a recent interview I did with a government agency.  I did exceptionally well during the interview stages where I was talking with people actually in my specialty.  In fact, because I actually work for their peers on a daily basis they were able to ask some really solid questions and get a strong sense of my abilities.

...Then I went on to the interview portion with some senior management officers.  I signed a NDA, so I cant go into what specifically we talked about, but it was way the fark out in left field.  I acquitted myself quite well, but there was honestly no justification or supporting rational for why they drilled down so far into some topics.  Imagine an engineer applying for a naval shipyard job being asked increasingly specific questions about the best way for a beautician to remove pubic hair at a saloon.  They then went on to hire the woman who was also interviewing that day.
 
2013-02-15 12:45:01 PM  

pdieten: It's actually sort of important to not bring damaged people who can't get along with anybody into a workplace.


You call em damaged.  I call em engineers.  :p

Just because *you* don't get along with them doesn't mean their peers wouldn't.  Which is why you shouldn't be in the room, and their potential PEERS should.  Because who gives a rat fark whether you like me or not?  I don't have to work with you.

I'm sure you're a nice person and not *that HR drone*, but I've watched too many brilliant minds go by the wayside because they "weren't compatible with our culture here" to really trust a third party to vet someone's personality.  And on that note, no corporate culture is that unique either.  And you're not a psychoanalyst.  You are HR.  You are there to manage people.  As if they were a resource to be burned.  Like gasoline.  Or paraffin.

Out of curiosity, do you have a Headcount Report you read/generate/send for review periodically?
 
2013-02-15 12:45:47 PM  

farkerofDOOM: vento: Question for the HR people in this thread:  Why is it so difficult for you to call someone back or let them know where the interview process is?  I've been at my current job for 15 years (get off my office lawn!), but I had that experience then and I have several friends who are experiencing the same now.  The process appears to be:

1.  Send in your resume/CV
2.  HR contacts you to set up interview
3.  Interview where they talk up how awesome they are
4.  You send thank you note
5.  (radio silence from HR)
6.  Contact HR for status.  No return contact.
7.  (radio silence from HR)
8.  Contact HR again.  No return contact.
9.  (more radio silence from HR)
10a.  They call you a month later asking if you'd like the position.
10b.  You get a job elsewhere or continue looking

(intentional caps lock)  WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' DIFFICULT FOR HR TO MAKE A PHONE CALL?  Even if it's just to say, "Hey, we don't have any information yet.  Just hold tight."  The one thing HR-folk need to realize is that you make your company look like shiat by not communicating.  You interviewed me, and if I said that communication wasn't a strong point, would you hire me?  Yet, from my experience on both sides (employed and trying to gain employment), anyone in the HR department sucks at getting back to you in any useable amount of time.

/the people in accounting can give the HR department a run for their money

A lot of the time, it's just due to the sheer amount of recruiting and applicants.  One recruiter could be covering 20+ postings, and if they only bring in 3 applicants for each open position to interview, that's 60 people that they have to continually follow up with.  It's a crappy excuse and it sucks.

Some recruiters I know have pre-canned emails that they'll send out to make things easier saying, "thanks for coming in, we're still reviewing candidates, if you don't hear from us in two weeks, please feel free to reach out to us".

I can completely agree with what you're saying t ...


Excellent response.  Thank you for responding so quickly.  ;-P
 
2013-02-15 12:46:22 PM  

vento: 4. You send thank you note
5. (radio silence from HR)
6. Contact HR for status. No return contact.
7. (radio silence from HR)
8. Contact HR again. No return contact.
9. (more radio silence from HR)


Stalk much?

vento: WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' DIFFICULT FOR HR TO MAKE A PHONE CALL?


Because there a probably a bunch of other applicants, not to mention other positions to fill and other duties. They don't have time to call every attention-craving candidate, especially just to say "we're still working on it."
 
2013-02-15 12:47:39 PM  

vento: farkerofDOOM: vento: Question for the HR people in this thread:  Why is it so difficult for you to call someone back or let them know where the interview process is?  I've been at my current job for 15 years (get off my office lawn!), but I had that experience then and I have several friends who are experiencing the same now.  The process appears to be:

1.  Send in your resume/CV
2.  HR contacts you to set up interview
3.  Interview where they talk up how awesome they are
4.  You send thank you note
5.  (radio silence from HR)
6.  Contact HR for status.  No return contact.
7.  (radio silence from HR)
8.  Contact HR again.  No return contact.
9.  (more radio silence from HR)
10a.  They call you a month later asking if you'd like the position.
10b.  You get a job elsewhere or continue looking

(intentional caps lock)  WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' DIFFICULT FOR HR TO MAKE A PHONE CALL?  Even if it's just to say, "Hey, we don't have any information yet.  Just hold tight."  The one thing HR-folk need to realize is that you make your company look like shiat by not communicating.  You interviewed me, and if I said that communication wasn't a strong point, would you hire me?  Yet, from my experience on both sides (employed and trying to gain employment), anyone in the HR department sucks at getting back to you in any useable amount of time.

/the people in accounting can give the HR department a run for their money

A lot of the time, it's just due to the sheer amount of recruiting and applicants.  One recruiter could be covering 20+ postings, and if they only bring in 3 applicants for each open position to interview, that's 60 people that they have to continually follow up with.  It's a crappy excuse and it sucks.

Some recruiters I know have pre-canned emails that they'll send out to make things easier saying, "thanks for coming in, we're still reviewing candidates, if you don't hear from us in two weeks, please feel free to reach out to us".

I can completely agree with what y ...


At least you got a response this time =)
 
2013-02-15 12:47:55 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-15 12:48:10 PM  

farkerofDOOM: Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

As an "HR drone", I'd like to attest to the fact that not all HR people are like that.  A lot of the time (for example, my current company), HR is held back by what senior leadership wants, thus, a hire is often made that isn't right for the department, but it's what the big guns want.  A good HR advisor/consultant/generalist/etc. WANTS to hire the best person for the job - the one that has the best qualifications, the one that had the kind of personality that will mesh well with the existings ones and what not.

Just keep that in mind.

HR is the cop with the radar gun of business. They perform no function that is useful to the people they supposedly support. They are often an incumbrance on those that they 'intend' to serve. They absolutely NEVER take the side of those that they suggest that they are there to help. Most of their workday is geared to do exactly the opposite of their stated goals. And you'll never meet one that is honest about any of this.


 Just keep that in mind...DERP
 
2013-02-15 12:49:21 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Mugato: how to convince a stripper to come back to your hotel room with you

Flash some cash?


Roofies.
 
2013-02-15 12:49:52 PM  

Girion47: I also had another company where I did an 8 hour, 12 person interview at 2 different locations.   One in Fairfax, VA and the other at L'Enfant Plaza in DC.  The question that made me call off the interview in that case was "What's your greatest weakness"   There were other gems like "what book did you read last" or "tell me of a time you had an argument with a co-worker"


"What can you contribute to a culture of diversity and tolerance?"

/ My internal PC "Bulls**t" Meter went into the red when I was asked this...
// drifting OT, I know..
 
2013-02-15 12:50:00 PM  
Brief HR CSB:
At one point in the dot-com era, everyone was hiring so many people that the quality of interview turned to crap.  They just hired any warm body.  Went to some career fair type thing on campus and submitted my resume all over.  I had HR drones asking me algorithm, os, and programming language questions like they were reading a foreign language phonetically.  The expected answers were canned, and you had to guess which exact phrase they were looking for to get one right.

them: "You see a file called 'junk.sh', what do you do?"
me: "Uh. Ignore it? Check file permissions, make sure it's not suid?  Cat it and see what it does? Don't run it since it sounds like a oneoff?"
them: "Hmm.. what about the sort of file it is?"
me: "Well, based on the name it sounds like a one-off script that is meant to be thrown away, maybe from just testing something out?  You'd have to look at the contents to know."
them: "You're halfway there ...  it's a ___ script?"
me: "A ... shell script?"
them: "Close! it starts with S."
me:  "Uh..a...an ... S.H. script?"
them: "Yes, that's it! Okay, next question, what's Zuh-hut-mal?"
me: "Could you spell that?"
them: "X-H-T-M-L."
me: *Sigh*

Funny thing, the woman responsible for those winner questions had randomly called me early on a Saturday morning for the interview, and I was so drunk/hungover that I thought it was a friend of a friend asking for help in some sort of remedial computer course.  I went back to sleep afterwards and didn't remember the name of the person or the company, only that they said they'd send an offer letter.  Had to wait 3 weeks before I figured out whom I had impressed.
 
2013-02-15 12:50:20 PM  
At an old company I was in Tech Support and we need to hire another field support person. HR really pushed diversity on us since there were no women in Tech Support se we ended up hiring a girl fresh out of college. Very pretty girl, seemed to know her stuff. I got along well with her but she immediately clashed with all of the female execs in the place. Starting dating one of the worker drones in the company. This pisses off the execs more because drone was the cute guy they all "needed" to work on a project. The two of them get serious and get married. Shortly thereafter, one female VP demands that we fire her because she was rude and insubordinate and failed to fix her problem. Our boss looks at the customer surveys and sees she gets a lot of bad reviews (all from the female staff), so they fire her. She that files a sexual harassment claim against the company, and wins. Seems one of my IT coworkers felt it was his duty to harass her once she started dating the other guy. He wanted to date her too (of course he was married at the time).

After that HR let us hire anyone we wanted. Her replacement was this guy fresh out of the military. Amateur body builder. The female staff loved him.

The girl and the drone got divorced after two years. Seemed he was ready to start a family and she was ready to party with her settlement money.

/Lots of women in this company
//Lots of hot women
///We used to play "who has on the shortest skirt today" game
////always a winner
 
2013-02-15 12:51:38 PM  
Working together forces both parties to communicate, be accountable to one another, both parties have potentially a lot to lose in the relationship, you are sharing a common goal and potential interest, and it offers both parties additional time to be together. In my opinion, if you can't work together you probably shouldn't get married. It always amazes me how people have such a strong reaction to this like "Wow I could never work with my SO!." Which is basically saying either she is a biatch, or you are an overbearing controlling douche. I think the reason you see so many failed marriages currently, is because people don't understand what a marriage and a real relationship is. Most people think that is just the logical next step after you have dated for sometime, all your friends are doing it, or someone was an idiot and got preggers early.
 
2013-02-15 12:53:06 PM  

Girion47: Molavian: Girion47: Molavian: farkerofDOOM: Molavian: Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.

You're at work in some cases more than half your waking day. Of course there are going to be hookups. If the hookup or the ensuing breakup affects their job then go after their job performance but stay out of people's personal life HR, and go back to asking applicants if they could be a tree, what type would it be and why.

I'd also like to add a hearty "F*CK HR" to your sentiment.  They need to go back to being personnel administrators, and just tell me what my benefits are when I call them up.  Vapid cows, the lot of them.

2/10

/Not a vapid cow

I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

I completely agree with you, when hiring people for technical(i.e. revenue generating and not overhead like HR) positions, HR does it's best to ruin the experience for everyone involved.


For my current job, I was grilled by an 8 person panel interview for 3 hours.  It was a highly technical interview.  At first I was intimidated, but that quickly turned to relief once we all started talking due to one reason.

The number of HR people asking me what type of cookie I am was 0.

I'm gathering you've had the same type of experience.

I have, last time I was looking for a job, it came down to two companies.   One had done phone interviews with me the whole time, we talked about my experience, the project manager gushed over my resume's layout, and she laid out what would be happening in the job.

The other company flew me in, set me up in a rundown looking conferenc ...


I had an all-day series of interviews for a job (which I ended up not getting) - I had not yet learned at that point that it was okay to repeat myself - i.e. that when the fourth interviewer of the day asked the same question the prior three had asked, it would have been best to just rehash my earlier version of the answer rather than try to dig up a fourth unique answer.

In any case, things went downhill when halfway through answering...something for the fifth or sixth interviewer of the day, his entire office started shaking.  Not 'humming', but 'oh christ, we're next to a rocket launch' shaking.  This pretty well demolished my train of thought, and I paused to look inquiringly at the guy in a 'um, should we be running away now?' sort of way.  It took him a minute to even realize the office was shaking, and explained that it was due to being right above part of the factory facility, and that he was totally used to it.

Anyhow, I picked up the pieces of my train of thought and did my best to muddle through - when I later got the call that they would not be offering me the position, the helpful lady on the phone provided the feedback that I had seemed 'really nervous'.  Well, yeah - I thought the building was collapsing, that'll rattle some folks.

/may not have been the only reason
 
2013-02-15 12:54:20 PM  

theurge14: She wouldn't date me because we were co-workers.

But I wouldn't have met her if I didn't work here.

Le sigh.


Like strippers who won't date customers.

And yet, I used to hear, "Well, you're not a customer..; you're a friend who drops  by."
 
2013-02-15 12:54:40 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: Frankenstorm: I married the incredibly hot IT guy. "Dating" co-workers was always a fun experience.

Yeah, that is like saying I married sasquach.  There is no such thing.


I hear ya, but in this case it's true.
 
2013-02-15 12:54:51 PM  
I did it once, it was a great bj, but not worth the post bj hassles.
 
2013-02-15 12:55:33 PM  

Mugato: Fark HR. Collection of useless coonts. There's nothing useful or good in what they do. Even the name, "Human Resources". It sounds like a designation the alien lizard people would give themselves as they invade.


I work in an HR-adjacent tech field.  A hobby of mine is collecting all the various euphemisms for what used to be called Personnel.

So far my winner for most dehumanizing is "Intellectual Capital Development".

My favorite in a good way is "People Operations".
 
2013-02-15 12:56:01 PM  

Der Poopflinger: I did it once, it was a great bj, but not worth the post bj hassles.


So you're saying it didn't get you that promotion?
 
2013-02-15 12:56:49 PM  

BeesNuts: pdieten: It's actually sort of important to not bring damaged people who can't get along with anybody into a workplace.

You call em damaged.  I call em engineers.  :p

Just because *you* don't get along with them doesn't mean their peers wouldn't.  Which is why you shouldn't be in the room, and their potential PEERS should.  Because who gives a rat fark whether you like me or not?  I don't have to work with you.

I'm sure you're a nice person and not *that HR drone*, but I've watched too many brilliant minds go by the wayside because they "weren't compatible with our culture here" to really trust a third party to vet someone's personality.  And on that note, no corporate culture is that unique either.  And you're not a psychoanalyst.  You are HR.  You are there to manage people.  As if they were a resource to be burned.  Like gasoline.  Or paraffin.

Out of curiosity, do you have a Headcount Report you read/generate/send for review periodically?


Again, a lot of the final decisions come down from above the entity level.  Also, HR is moving from "managing people" to consulting.  HR should be there for policy and procedure clarifications (yes, Jane, you are a nurse and thus considered essential personnel, so you have to make every possible effort to come in during a blizzard), advising on tricky employee relations, union issues, and benefits/leaves/compensation questions.  HR is a different breed than what is was 15-20 years ago.  Back then, HR did everything from A-Z, and now that has changed.  The business world is changing, thus, the business needs are changing.

By headcount, do you mean position control?  If so, I do run a master report weekly, but that's b/c a good portion of my job is reporting/metrics, so I frequently get requests of "how many people in dept. A", "how many total employees", so on and so forth.  It's easier to have one big report that I can easily pare down than having to run 10 or so individual reports each day.
 
2013-02-15 12:56:55 PM  

Shocktopus: work in an HR-adjacent tech field. A hobby of mine is collecting all the various euphemisms for what used to be called Personnel.

So far my winner for most dehumanizing is "Intellectual Capital Development".

My favorite in a good way is "People Operations".


Mine is: "warm bodies."
 
2013-02-15 12:57:51 PM  

Forbidden Doughnut: "What can you contribute to a culture of diversity and tolerance?"


That would have been it for me. I would have deliberately said the most politically incorrect thing I could think of, got up, and left.
 
2013-02-15 12:59:21 PM  
Just don't stick your dick in the pickle slicer.
 
2013-02-15 01:00:17 PM  

BeesNuts: Just because *you* don't get along with them doesn't mean their peers wouldn't. Which is why you shouldn't be in the room, and their potential PEERS should. Because who gives a rat fark whether you like me or not? I don't have to work with you.


This.  I screened on skills and past performance.  I let the hiring manager judge personality fit because he knew more about the people he managed than I did.
 
2013-02-15 01:02:31 PM  

WhippingBoy: Forbidden Doughnut: "What can you contribute to a culture of diversity and tolerance?"

That would have been it for me. I would have deliberately said the most politically incorrect thing I could think of, got up, and left.


The job I loved was the one where during the interview the Hiring Manager openly mocked HR interview type questions.

He was running out of things to say about the position and he was like "Oh hey, let me ask you bullshiat questions, 'what's your greatest....HA who cares?"
 
2013-02-15 01:03:35 PM  

gerbilpox: vento: 4. You send thank you note
5. (radio silence from HR)
6. Contact HR for status. No return contact.
7. (radio silence from HR)
8. Contact HR again. No return contact.
9. (more radio silence from HR)

Stalk much?

vento: WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' DIFFICULT FOR HR TO MAKE A PHONE CALL?

Because there a probably a bunch of other applicants, not to mention other positions to fill and other duties. They don't have time to call every attention-craving candidate, especially just to say "we're still working on it."


Stalk? I wasn't specific about a timeframe in my post, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. The first contact would be over a week later. The second contact would be another week later.  That would be contacting you twice in two-and-a-half to three weeks.  That's hardly stalking.  HR should be more concerned that a candidate *isn't* contacting them for a status update.  And these aren't recruiting interviews - most of these instances I'm aware of are specific positions requiring experienced candidates, so the potential population is much smaller.

As for being an "attention-craving candidate", how about DOING YOUR JOB?  You expect the people you hire to do theirs, do you not?  You knew when you accepted a position in HR that you would have to interview candidates and perform the tasks associated with that process.  Part of that process requires (***gasp***) communication.  There's a magical thing called e-mail, and it can send a message to multiple recipients.  There is a way to hide who the other recipients are.  It is a very useful means of communication.
 
2013-02-15 01:05:46 PM  
I hate Investigating 'improper relationships'.  Why do people not realize we keep copies of all your e-mail and text messages?  If you are going to fark around - don't use company owned equipment or company paid hotels.

/leaving a company for 'health reasons' is usually code for I was fark'n a subordinate
 
2013-02-15 01:06:46 PM  

TheOther: That's a 30% failure rate.
The two purposes of office romance are 1) sex and 2) alleviate boredom at work.


Yep, all of mine were married chicks so no attachments needed.

Now I'm married so the fun level at work is way toned down.
 
2013-02-15 01:08:32 PM  

vento: Question for the HR people in this thread:  Why is it so difficult for you to call someone back or let them know where the interview process is?  I've been at my current job for 15 years (get off my office lawn!), but I had that experience then and I have several friends who are experiencing the same now.


I'm not in HR but as someone who is actively interviewing people at the moment - its because we don't want to get sued.

/i feel the pain
 
2013-02-15 01:09:54 PM  

gingerjet: I hate Investigating 'improper relationships'.  Why do people not realize we keep copies of all your e-mail and text messages?  If you are going to fark around - don't use company owned equipment or company paid hotels.

/leaving a company for 'health reasons' is usually code for I was fark'n a subordinate


Or substance abuse issues.  Or both.
 
2013-02-15 01:10:24 PM  
1) Interviewed a while back with a software company, and the HR "manager" was clearly someone's hot bimbo gf/wife. Whenever the subject of salary came up, they fell back to "CULTURE!!!!" "We send the girls over to Costco every friday, there's smoothies in the break room!!!!!! Some employees eat all their meals here!".


Greeeeeat. I'm married and have a mortgage, and am capable of buying my own food. But not if I work here, because you don't actually pay people.

2) They also asked "Where do you see yourself in 5 years". In my head, I answered "Not working for a company that asks that dead horse of a question"

3) Asked me "Do you see yourself as more of a developer, or a business side person". I answered "this is an implementation position, right? So really, in the middle, talking to both sides. That's my strength.

Them: "But if you "HAD" to choose?

Me: Probably more on the business side.

Them: "Oh, we're a development shop, you might want to rethink that".

Me: (in my head) Well, asshole, you made me answer your stupid question, then called me on the answer. I'm definitely rethinking even being here.

I really wished I had more guts, and went in to tank mode. When they ask a question I don't like, I look at buddy and snap "Terrible question". (point at other person) "Your turn, GO!"
 
2013-02-15 01:10:42 PM  

pdieten: I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?

You know, a lot of people can do a job. Even the really hard technical ones. You aren't as unique as you think. It's actually sort of important to not bring damaged people who can't get along with anybody into a workplace.

If you can't get past the HR screening interview, maybe you should try not rubbing everyone the wrong way. That way you'll get past the screening interview and get to talk to the hiring manager.


Indeed.  The HR interview part of a tech hire isn't about the tech.  They don't know and don't care about the arcana of your specialty.  That's for the line manager and team members to do.  It's for weeding out angry, maladjusted Miltons that can end up poisoning a whole department.  Usually metaphorically, but you never know with some of these angry nerds.

If you can't make it through one interview with HR without succumbing to your nerd rage, you are the problem, not HR.  And HR just did it's job keeping you away from the normal people who can at least fake social skills enough to be semi-pleasant to work around.
 
2013-02-15 01:12:12 PM  

Der Poopflinger: I did it once, it was a great bj, but not worth the post bj hassles.


BJ's are always worth it.


/for the recipient, at least
//unless they get bitey
 
2013-02-15 01:12:15 PM  
Working in restaurants, it's pretty much di rigor. Waitresses and cooks date. Cooks often date one another. You don't date anyone whose schedule you control, but in restaurants, you spend how much time together? Share stress in common? Drink together afterward? Hang out in common? It's pretty much expected. When waitstaff date each other, or cooks date each other there can be oddness, since you form a team, and the breakup can affect that dynamic, so I try not to get into those situations, but then again, you date the folks who get you.
 
2013-02-15 01:15:56 PM  

WxGuy1: Onkel Buck: Did  they mention the process a co-worker turning from manatee to mermaid?

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x343]


LOL! The Mermaid Theory!

I'm telling you, after a month of looking at a female co-worker 5 times per week, I promise I'll find something about her that makes her farkable.
 
2013-02-15 01:18:08 PM  

BeesNuts: pdieten: It's actually sort of important to not bring damaged people who can't get along with anybody into a workplace.

You call em damaged.  I call em engineers.  :p

Just because *you* don't get along with them doesn't mean their peers wouldn't.  Which is why you shouldn't be in the room, and their potential PEERS should.  Because who gives a rat fark whether you like me or not?  I don't have to work with you.

I'm sure you're a nice person and not *that HR drone*, but I've watched too many brilliant minds go by the wayside because they "weren't compatible with our culture here" to really trust a third party to vet someone's personality.  And on that note, no corporate culture is that unique either.  And you're not a psychoanalyst.  You are HR.  You are there to manage people.  As if they were a resource to be burned.  Like gasoline.  Or paraffin.

Out of curiosity, do you have a Headcount Report you read/generate/send for review periodically?


I don't work in HR. I'm an IT guy who's gone on enough interviews in my life to know that if, as <b>Shocktopus</b> pointed out immediately upthread, if you can't fake being human long enough to survive a screening interview then you seriously need to get over yourself and stop thinking that your mad tech skillz are enough to get you hired anywhere. You need to work on your personality a little bit. Not enough to turn you into a management consultant. You're still allowed to be you. Just a better you. A version of you that can fake it long enough to get in front of a hiring manager. It's not really that much to ask.
 
2013-02-15 01:19:12 PM  
Hm. HTML fail. Oh well. I suck today. I'll get over it.
 
2013-02-15 01:19:19 PM  
I have sex at work all the time, and things have never been awkward.

/Proud farmer
 
2013-02-15 01:19:23 PM  

Shocktopus: If you can't make it through one interview with HR without succumbing to your nerd rage, you are the problem, not HR.  And HR just did it's job keeping you away from the normal people who can at least fake social skills enough to be semi-pleasant to work around.


You mean the one's HR complains about not knowing how to do their jobs?

At least they are semi-pleasant!
 
2013-02-15 01:22:47 PM  

Hebalo: Me: (in my head) Well, asshole, you made me answer your stupid question, then called me on the answer. I'm definitely rethinking even being here.

I really wished I had more guts, and went in to tank mode. When they ask a question I don't like, I look at buddy and snap "Terrible question". (point at other person) "Your turn, GO!"


Same experience here. I'm too broke (and wimpy) to do it, but I am so tempted to go to an interview fully intending to blow it, just so I get the chance to tell them off about the BS (and there almost always is some).
 
2013-02-15 01:22:58 PM  
I have never seen an attractive woman in my field (Software Engineering). They do not exist, so no worries here.

/actually there was this pretty cute Indian girl once
//too bad she didn't shower
///or wear deodorant
 
2013-02-15 01:23:05 PM  

Hebalo: 1) Interviewed a while back with a software company, and the HR "manager" was clearly someone's hot bimbo gf/wife. Whenever the subject of salary came up, they fell back to "CULTURE!!!!" "We send the girls over to Costco every friday, there's smoothies in the break room!!!!!! Some employees eat all their meals here!".


My favorite are the recruiters who are 22 years old with a newly minted college degree who are trying to evaluate my resume with 20 years of experience on it.  I was once contacted by such a guy from a major retailer (*cough* Best Buy *cough*) who went on about how I was a perfect fit and how awesome the place was.   After 25 minutes he asked me where I got my degree.  When I informed him I didn't have one and he told me he couldn't pass me on without a degree.  I told him have a nice day.  Three years later I get a cold call from that exact same retailer asking me to come in for an interview for a job I was a perfect fit for (and this time they didn't care about the degree).  I informed them they had their chance three years ago and a nice gentlemen by the name of Kyle blew any chances of considering your company for employment.  Oh and have a nice day.

/idiots
 
2013-02-15 01:24:19 PM  
I'm 41 and banging a hot 24 year old redhead from work... oops.
 
2013-02-15 01:24:51 PM  

The WindowLicker: Shocktopus: work in an HR-adjacent tech field. A hobby of mine is collecting all the various euphemisms for what used to be called Personnel.

So far my winner for most dehumanizing is "Intellectual Capital Development".

My favorite in a good way is "People Operations".

Mine is: "warm bodies."


I'm talking about the actual formal name of the department.  "Human Capital" was the fave for a while, I mean, that's pretty vicious but still has the word Human in it.  "Intellectual" abstracts it even further.  A good step until we can just skulljack people into our network and store them in pods.
 
2013-02-15 01:24:55 PM  

gingerjet: Hebalo: 1) Interviewed a while back with a software company, and the HR "manager" was clearly someone's hot bimbo gf/wife. Whenever the subject of salary came up, they fell back to "CULTURE!!!!" "We send the girls over to Costco every friday, there's smoothies in the break room!!!!!! Some employees eat all their meals here!".

My favorite are the recruiters who are 22 years old with a newly minted college degree who are trying to evaluate my resume with 20 years of experience on it.  I was once contacted by such a guy from a major retailer (*cough* Best Buy *cough*) who went on about how I was a perfect fit and how awesome the place was.   After 25 minutes he asked me where I got my degree.  When I informed him I didn't have one and he told me he couldn't pass me on without a degree.  I told him have a nice day.  Three years later I get a cold call from that exact same retailer asking me to come in for an interview for a job I was a perfect fit for (and this time they didn't care about the degree).  I informed them they had their chance three years ago and a nice gentlemen by the name of Kyle blew any chances of considering your company for employment.  Oh and have a nice day.

/idiots


Uh, large corporate work environments almost all have glass ceiling based on your degree or lack thereof. Some of it is idiotic, and some of it is idiotic so if they promote/lay someone off they have it as an excuse.
 
2013-02-15 01:26:39 PM  

Car_Ramrod: When I lived in SF, I accidentally slept with a co-worker during a staff retreat. We were off/on for a few months, but we worked in completely different departments at the opposite ends of the office, so minimal awkwardness around other people as we didn't tell anyone. Still, it was too much for me, so I ended it the easiest way possible, by moving back to Chicago.

Good times.


How do you "accidentally" sleep with someone?
 
2013-02-15 01:27:27 PM  
It did my sister in, in the end. She dated one guy at her work (she's one of very FEW female employees) for over a year, they broke up, she dated another guy from there for close to a year, he beat her, so she broke up with him. Took one last dip in the company pool and found a winner, now engaged, but now jobless, because the very first guy moved up in the ranks and as soon as he was in a position to do so, started finding things she was doing "wrong" and fired her. She had been with the place longer than he, and SHOULD have been next in command, but because of severe illness/surgery the last couple of years, she didn't want nor feel up to the responsibility.

/place of work is a charity that refurbishes donated computers for public schooles, etc..
//tried to tell her, don't shiat where you eat...
 
2013-02-15 01:28:32 PM  
I've taken part in the long standing tradition of nailing the chubby receptionist whilst drunk out of my mind after a company christmas party. Being a cliché is kind of my thing.
 
2013-02-15 01:30:12 PM  

Molavian: I'm not trolling.  I despise HR drones.  I especially love it when they butt their noses into IT interviewing.  You can't imagine the retards they want to hire based on "corporate values" and the like.  How about you start worrying about "people who can actually do the f*cking job", instead?


It's funny how the IT guys are always so butthurt about everyone else.
 
2013-02-15 01:30:18 PM  
My HR CSB:

It's 1989, at a Fortune 500 company, in the world's tallest building. I'm a young copywriter at a retail company that's undergoing staff-reductions in all departments. I'm called into a meeting with my National Manager and the HR rep.

Them: Good news. There is a job for you. It's not in this department, it'll be in a new department called "Strategic Marketing". Would you like to take it?

Me: Well, thank you. What would I be doing?

Them: Strategic marketing.

Me: What is that?

Them: We don't really know yet.

Me: Who will I be working for?

Them: We don't quite know that either, yet.

Me: Do you know how much it will pay?

Them: (literally, an eyeroll, implying it's dumb of me to even ask such a question)

Me: Well, how long do I have to think this over?

Them: (long pause) We need an answer.

Me: You mean... today?

Them: Welllllllllll... (sigh) OK, you can have a couple of hours, tops.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later. I've been in the new position for several days now, and I still have very little clue what the job is supposed to be or even how much it pays. But at least I'm still gainfully employed during a bad recession. My department head hands me a form to fill out, for the purpose of making new business cards. I get to the space marked "Title" and I'm stumped. So I call my HR rep...

Me: Hi. I need to know my actual job title. It's for my business card.

HR: OK, let me look that up. (long pause)  Huh. Let me get back to you.

(20 minutes later, the junior assistant to the HR rep calls me)

Me: Hi. Is this about my job title?

HR asst: Yes! How did you know?!

Me: Lucky guess. So...?

HR asst: So...?

Me: Wait, are you asking ME what my job title is?

HR asst.: Uh-huh.

In a flash, I could see what had happened. I asked the rep, and she didn't know. So she delegated the task of finding out to her underling... who did the obvious and logic thing. She called me to ask me.

It took all the discipline I could muster to keep from answering "Pimp Kingpin" or "Evil Genius". Because, without doubt, that's what my mutherfarking business card would have said. And it would have been awesome.
 
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