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(Business Insider)   Surely John Kerry will not be influenced by Warren Buffett giving his family over a half-million dollars   (businessinsider.com) divider line 104
    More: Followup, Heinz ketchup  
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1394 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Feb 2013 at 4:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-14 01:47:20 PM  
Ketchup is the currency of modern diplomacy, after all.  Right subs?
 
2013-02-14 01:48:21 PM  
His family is already stinking rich.  And don't call me Shirley.
 
2013-02-14 01:51:20 PM  
Oh, man, this is going to seriously impact the State Department's diplomatic dealings with Nebraska.
 
2013-02-14 02:04:20 PM  
Is this the talking point now? That making a purchase is "giving" someone money? If that's the case, shouldn't we be doing something to stop all those people who make and sell things from being reliant on public assistance?
 
2013-02-14 02:10:41 PM  

exick: Is this the talking point now? That making a purchase is "giving" someone money? If that's the case, shouldn't we be doing something to stop all those people who make and sell things from being reliant on public assistance?


I doubt this will be a talking point, at least not among members of Congress, given how well their portfolios do compared to the general public.
 
2013-02-14 02:35:14 PM  
Well, we must make certain that Secretary Kerry doesn't sign any fishy treaties with the Republic of Buffettstan.

btw, what did Warren Buffett know about Benghazi and when did he know it?
 
2013-02-14 02:41:19 PM  
Hey, it's not like the US will offer no-bid contracts with Heinz to provide logistics for an dubious invasion. Unlike a certain former CEO of Halliburton who was also VP of the US. I'm ok with this.
TLDR
 
2013-02-14 02:43:33 PM  
Um...subby, that's billion. With a B.
 
2013-02-14 02:48:00 PM  

Lurking Fear: Hey, it's not like the US will offer no-bid contracts with Heinz to provide logistics for an dubious invasion. Unlike a certain former CEO of Halliburton who was also VP of the US. I'm ok with this.
TLDR


The fact that we destroyed a country under what turned out to be false pretenses so that it could be rebuilt by a company that the Vice President just so happened to be a former CEO of was a complete coincidence.
 
2013-02-14 02:49:10 PM  
Influence him to do...what?
 
2013-02-14 02:55:08 PM  

exick: Is this the talking point now? That making a purchase is "giving" someone money? If that's the case, shouldn't we be doing something to stop all those people who make and sell things from being reliant on public assistance?


It's not even that.  It's that the Heinz deal made the company's stock price go up, some of which is owned by Kerry.  The horror!
 
2013-02-14 02:58:09 PM  
Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?
 
2013-02-14 03:05:18 PM  

kronicfeld: Oh, man, this is going to seriously impact the State Department's diplomatic dealings with Nebraska.


I have it on good authority that most State Department field officers would rather be stationed in Somalia or Tajikstan than Nebraska.
 
2013-02-14 03:06:51 PM  
can i get a "long face" joke, please?
 
2013-02-14 03:07:54 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?


This.  That is like saying if you gave me $20 that you'd have some undue influence over me.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-14 03:10:27 PM  
When people give me pocket change it always influences me.
 
2013-02-14 03:12:08 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?


"Hey, Teresa, look what I found between the couch cushions!"

"Put it in the change jar, dear"
 
2013-02-14 03:23:02 PM  

GAT_00: Influence him to do...what?


Buy more condiments for all the embassy and consulate cafeterias? Can we call it "Picklegate"?

Meh, got nuttin'.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-14 03:26:58 PM  

give me doughnuts: GAT_00: Influence him to do...what?

Buy more condiments for all the embassy and consulate cafeterias? Can we call it "Picklegate"?


Is ketchup a scandal yet?
 
2013-02-14 03:30:05 PM  
As long as its a domestic corporation, I don't see the issue--divestments and blind trusts are meant to avoid a conflict of interest and Secretaries of State as a rule do not participate in domestic politics. I suppose if you could show that Mr. Buffett had some sort of primary role in running a foreign country's  economy or politics, then there might be an issue, but if the stock price went up just because he wanted to buy Heinz that's pretty obscure causation, Submitter.

i.imgur.com

Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.
 
2013-02-14 03:30:44 PM  

yanceylebeef: Um...subby, that's billion. With a B.


You want to know how I know you dnrtfa?
 
2013-02-14 03:34:05 PM  
Maybe he'll return his lost shaker of salt.
 
2013-02-14 03:44:09 PM  
Did he drop it between their couch cushions?
 
2013-02-14 03:53:01 PM  

GAT_00: Influence him to do...what?


Switch from salsa?
 
2013-02-14 03:53:15 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Did he drop it between their couch cushions?


If so, I believe that there's a woman to blame.
 
2013-02-14 04:00:30 PM  

Somacandra: Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.


Pic is giving me the weirdest boner
 
2013-02-14 04:17:42 PM  
Would you be influenced if your neighbor gave you $5?
 
2013-02-14 04:21:22 PM  
He may be influenced but we will have to wait and see.  And dont call me Shirley.
 
2013-02-14 04:22:50 PM  
 
2013-02-14 04:23:01 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Only half a million? That's nothing!!!
 
2013-02-14 04:27:37 PM  

dugitman: Somacandra: Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.

Pic is giving me the weirdest boner


Seriously, what the hell is going on there?  Is that a fetish I don't want to know about?
 
2013-02-14 04:30:29 PM  
A) Buying stock is not the same as "giving money"
B) Secretary of State? Like if it was the SEC I would say that would be a big deal.

upload.wikimedia.org
This persons wife gets millions from the "conservative activists" for positions Thomas judges in court.
 
2013-02-14 04:31:59 PM  

GAT_00: Influence him to do...what?


Well, thats obvious- promote the ketchup on hot dogs mantra to the rest of the world.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:54 PM  

Somacandra: As long as its a domestic corporation, I don't see the issue--divestments and blind trusts are meant to avoid a conflict of interest and Secretaries of State as a rule do not participate in domestic politics. I suppose if you could show that Mr. Buffett had some sort of primary role in running a foreign country's  economy or politics, then there might be an issue, but if the stock price went up just because he wanted to buy Heinz that's pretty obscure causation, Submitter.

[i.imgur.com image 400x267]

Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.


/weirdest boner
 
2013-02-14 04:33:29 PM  
John Kerry is worth about $200 million.

$667,000 is about 0.34% of Kerry's net worth.

If you have $100k in the bank, can someone buy you off with $340?
 
2013-02-14 04:35:33 PM  

dletter: mitchcumstein1: Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?

This.  That is like saying if you gave me $20 that you'd have some undue influence over me.


It's not even that.  It's more like if I bought some baseball cards, then someone totally unrelated to me made a series of purchases that drove up the value of said baseball cards, I would somehow be in the thrall of that unrelated person.  I mean, I'd be grateful, but it wouldn't be like I owed them my soul or anything.

\Don't actually own any baseball cards.
 
2013-02-14 04:41:31 PM  
If you find yourself worked up, don't worry.  Ketchup has natural mellowing agents.  So you can live your live, instead of stressing about things beyond your control.  Why, let's go have ourselves a nice portion right now...
 
2013-02-14 04:41:39 PM  

yeegrek: TFA's chicken farking notwithstanding, this could be an issue:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-14/sec-investigate-insider-tra di ng-hnz-deal

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-14/guess-who-was-buying-hnz-st oc k-its-clients


uh, what the fark did i just read. the first link is basically nothing and second link is a big farking load of nothing. i love how it assumes this was a plan by goldman's research department to get their sales rep's clients to dump their holdings into the hands of their prop traders. those are 3 different groups and only one of them made money (that is if they didn't dump it back into the market before the announcement), while the other 2 is going to take it up the farking ass for telling clients to sell.


/business insider and zerohedge, we just need something like gawker for derp trifacta now.
 
2013-02-14 04:44:20 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: John Kerry is worth about $200 million.

$667,000 is about 0.34% of Kerry's net worth.

If you have $100k in the bank, can someone buy you off with $340?


That's a good point "C" to add to my list. But also he is buying it for the stock that already has most of that value anyway so the additional value is much much lower anyway.
 
2013-02-14 04:44:22 PM  

yeegrek: TFA's chicken farking notwithstanding, this could be an issue:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-14/sec-investigate-insider-tra di ng-hnz-deal

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-14/guess-who-was-buying-hnz-st oc k-its-clients


You're calling TFA chicken farking, then countering with Zero Hedge links?

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-14 04:45:18 PM  

Somacandra: As long as its a domestic corporation, I don't see the issue--divestments and blind trusts are meant to avoid a conflict of interest and Secretaries of State as a rule do not participate in domestic politics. I suppose if you could show that Mr. Buffett had some sort of primary role in running a foreign country's  economy or politics, then there might be an issue, but if the stock price went up just because he wanted to buy Heinz that's pretty obscure causation, Submitter.

[i.imgur.com image 400x267]

Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.


She may need some help cleaning that up.

/my services are available
//my tongue, especially
///so lonely
 
2013-02-14 04:47:44 PM  

Somacandra: As long as its a domestic corporation, I don't see the issue--divestments and blind trusts are meant to avoid a conflict of interest and Secretaries of State as a rule do not participate in domestic politics. I suppose if you could show that Mr. Buffett had some sort of primary role in running a foreign country's  economy or politics, then there might be an issue, but if the stock price went up just because he wanted to buy Heinz that's pretty obscure causation, Submitter.

[i.imgur.com image 400x267]

Then again, the involvement of the forces of the nation of Ketchupstan in the staining of this country's camisoles has long been a primary concern. Also, tits.


This just made my day.
 
2013-02-14 04:51:56 PM  
Big Condiment will kill you and everyone you've ever loved.
 
2013-02-14 04:55:48 PM  

Pocket Ninja: kronicfeld: Oh, man, this is going to seriously impact the State Department's diplomatic dealings with Nebraska.

I have it on good authority that most State Department field officers would rather be stationed in Somalia or Tajikstan than Nebraska.


While shorter than most of your blurbs... This is one of your best pieces in recent memory...
 
2013-02-14 04:59:52 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?


Do you know any rich people?  People who earned it themselves anyway.  I guarantee you it registers.  Which is a separate point from the issue that it's not enough to influence him or that he already gave up something (ownership) in exchange.
 
2013-02-14 04:59:54 PM  

PanicMan: Seriously, what the hell is going on there? Is that a fetish I don't want to know about?


GIS for "Ketchupstan." I was trying to find some clever geographical neologism and instead saw some camisoles.....I kinda blacked out after that.

/not really
//ok maybe a little
 
2013-02-14 05:01:10 PM  

GAT_00: Influence him to do...what?


EXACTLY.

images.sodahead.com
 
2013-02-14 05:05:04 PM  

TedDalton: mitchcumstein1: Does $500,000 even register to John Kerry?

Do you know any rich people?  People who earned it themselves anyway.  I guarantee you it registers.  Which is a separate point from the issue that it's not enough to influence him or that he already gave up something (ownership) in exchange.


John Kerry didn't earn his own money, and neither did his wife.
 
2013-02-14 05:05:26 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Well, we must make certain that Secretary Kerry doesn't sign any fishy treaties with the Republic of Buffettstan.

btw, what did Warren Buffett know about Benghazi and when did he know it?


that about covers it folks. Appreciate your time and additional comments but we're good here.
 
2013-02-14 05:07:25 PM  
The headline is even more of a stretch than the comments so far are saying.

This isn't Warren Buffett buying Heinz stock from Kerry. The article is saying, based on Kerry's holdings in Heinz that due to the increase in market value -as a result of the takeover-, Kerry's holdings have gone up in value by approximately $670,000.

..so saying that Buffett gave Kerry money is like saying Willy Beaman's mom gave me 4 cents by throwing his ALF Pogs away (thus increasing the value of -my- Pog collection).
 
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