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(Yahoo)   Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 80
    More: Sad, Good Samaritan, Sutherlands Hardware Store, no good deed goes unpunished  
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52675 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 4:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-14 03:42:34 PM  
11 votes:
About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.
2013-02-14 02:37:43 PM  
7 votes:
Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..
2013-02-14 04:52:32 PM  
5 votes:

sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.


What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.
2013-02-14 04:31:12 PM  
5 votes:
I lost my wallet in an airport a number of years back.  Whomever found it took out enough money to pay for FedEx to overnight it to me.  I thought that was quite nice of them but have no idea who it was.  They might have even had a tattoo and beard.
2013-02-14 05:01:36 PM  
4 votes:

taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.



So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.
2013-02-14 04:05:37 PM  
4 votes:

psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.


Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.
2013-02-14 03:11:56 PM  
4 votes:
As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.
2013-02-14 05:31:47 PM  
3 votes:
I'm walking through Costco last month, and as one of the employees with a broom walks by, he quietly/clearly says my first name. I'm shocked and turn my head, but figure it's nothing.
He walks by me a few seconds later and again, clearly, I hear my first name. Weird.
Happens a third time, since I'm now standing still at a clothing table to see how this plays out. Why do I keep hearing my name?

He walks by and I clearly hear my entire name - first and last. No question. I look right at him...
He says, "Are you..." and I nod, trying to figure out where I've met this guy before...

He smiles and holds up my Amex card (with my name on it) that had fallen out of my pocket onto the Costco floor.

Thanks, dude. You're way cool.
2013-02-14 05:06:54 PM  
3 votes:

BigNumber12: Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?


Yeah. People who actually work for a living. For instance, myself. I'm a  newspaper pressman. After a two week vacation, I may finally have dug all the ink out of my ears, fingernails, and scrubbed it out of my palms and knees.

/Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.
2013-02-14 04:53:16 PM  
3 votes:
My great grandfather found a wallet on the street in Austria many years ago.  He looked at the ID, and saw that the man was a painter who lived nearby.  Grandpa was shocked when he went to return the wallet and was accused of stealing the money that had been in it.  The painter flew into such a rage that he slapped the yarmulke off of Grampa's head and chased him down the street spewing anti-semitic insults at him.
2013-02-14 04:24:29 PM  
3 votes:

markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..


I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.
2013-02-14 04:13:26 PM  
3 votes:

The Muthaship: $1200 in an envelope.  Sounds like he owed someone money.  That may be why he reacted like he did.  He was hoping he was going to be able to pay off a debt that he otherwise could not.

More likely, he's just a douche.  But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt when I can.


I'm think high class hooker for Valentine's Day.
2013-02-14 04:07:37 PM  
3 votes:
This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...
2013-02-14 06:31:20 PM  
2 votes:
I'm not going through 200 comments, but I can attest to the douchery people have towards people who labor with their hands and end up a bit dirty and ragged looking by midday. I have one of these jobs which, btw, you have to be mechanically inclined and booksmart at the same time to do. However, when I'm working in an office building around cubicle dwellers, I get the 'ewww' look and cold shoulder by most of them..especially in an elevator...as if they are above me somehow, and better than me because they think I'm some kind of monkey.

I actually WORK for a living, and this is frowned upon. Even though I own a house and cars and kids and all that other BS that society tells me I have to have to be considered successful..but they don't now this, and even if they did I'm still just an uneducated grease monkey...it actually can be kind of depressing at times.
2013-02-14 06:29:18 PM  
2 votes:

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...




Doesn't matter, someone is nice and honest to hand you 1200 bucks on your word that you lost it, and you can't even manage a farking "thank you?" Really? I remember a story long ago where a guy found a whole bank bag, one of those canvas things that had somehow fallen out , or been tossed out, of a armored car. I would imagine one of the guards tossed it out to retrieve later. Anyway, it was money going off to be burned, and this dude saw it. He grabbed it up, counted it, was like 500K or something, and after a few days of thinking about it..he was honest enough to take it to the bank where it came from. He didn't expect a reward, just trying to do the right thing. Anyway, he presents the cash to the VP at the main branch of the bank, and the guy makes him stand in his office while accountants count all the cash, then tells him to pretty much fark off. This pisses the dude off, who then goes to the newspapers who eat it up. Few days after the story ran, the president of the bank called him back in "with the news of course" and gave him like a 50 K reward for being honest, and a car. And also told him that the VP was now shoveling shiat in Deigo garcia or some hell hole.

/i know..csb.
2013-02-14 05:43:59 PM  
2 votes:
Two weekends ago my wife asked me to drive to a small town about two hours from where we live so she could buy something being sold on Craigslist. Everything was going great, we got what we came for and drove back towards home for 45 minutes, where we stopped to take our kid to a childrens' activity center.

That's when my wife realized that she left our kid's shoes on the roof of the car. Oh, and her wallet, too.

We drove back another 45 minutes and spent about an hour retracing our steps. She went off of ask people if they'd seen anything. I drove over the rural roads we'd taken, hazards on, 15mph, scanning for shoes and wallet. When I met back up with my wife she said that someone had seen a pick-up truck stop at the intersection and somoene got out and picked something up from the street, then drove away.

In my mind I imagined some hick, chuckling over my daughter's little shoes, tossing them out the window, then rifling through my wife's wallet to scoff at the Legal Resident card and foreign currency/credit cards.

Finally we gave up and started heading back to the highway. I was still driving slowly on the shoulder, when I glanced up and saw a pick-up stopped on the other side of the road, the driver flagging us down from the open window.

It turns out that we just coincendentally were passing them as they returned home (it was almost three hours later). They saw us searching the road and figured the wallet and shoes they'd found must be ours.

I was so surprised and happy that I just couldn't believe what had happened. I felt bad for assuming the worst.
2013-02-14 05:29:06 PM  
2 votes:
taurusowner: Band shirts to concerts.

You're wearing that shirt?  You're wearing the shirt, of the band your going to see, at their concert?  Don't be that guy!

/Gutter is a tool!
2013-02-14 05:13:52 PM  
2 votes:

Mikey1969: My last job, I would get Tech Tickets that said:

Subject: Not working
Details: Not working


We get many of those.  And then they gripe when was ask for details, logs, etc.

I got one last week that just had a screen shot.  No error.  Nothing obviously wrong.  No notes, no highlights, nothing.  I felt like I was playing one of those "find the things that are wrong with this picture" games.

Which I normally enjoy.  When I don't have farking work to do.

/threadjack
2013-02-14 05:03:24 PM  
2 votes:

Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.


I think you mean your mom.  You went to live with your aunt in California.

God, get it right.
2013-02-14 04:58:15 PM  
2 votes:

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.

 
   Agreed. Who gives a shiat what the owner says when you follow your conscience and give them their property back. Is she the one looking back at you when you face the mirror?

  Fark her, you should have prepared for the possibility that people can be selfish coonts and pissed on her doorstep before you left.
2013-02-14 04:33:44 PM  
2 votes:
"Osborn was surprised by what the man said: "I hope it's all there."


YES SIR! IT IS DEFINITELY ALL THERE. YOU ARE CERTAINLY HOLDING TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASH IN YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW. HAVE A GOOD DAY.
2013-02-14 04:31:16 PM  
2 votes:
OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  
2 votes:

The Southern Dandy: Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!


Small business owner for Obummer...get real!
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  
2 votes:
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.
2013-02-14 04:27:07 PM  
2 votes:

Zombie DJ: FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton


For example: this book's subject is represented by an out-of-focus bust in the background. The author, however, is in the foreground and takes up nearly half of the cover, while his name is quite prominent. It's almost as if they expect to sell the book because of the author rather than the material.

www.glennbeck.com
2013-02-14 04:25:31 PM  
2 votes:
I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.
2013-02-14 04:23:17 PM  
2 votes:

oldfarthenry: I'm glad douche-beard got a swag-bag for his efforts.


When I lived in SF, I was at Dolores Park with a bunch of friends day drinking during some fest, and I left my spring jacket there. I didn't notice (because it had gotten warm after getting there) until I was almost home. I was pretty mad since I had it for about 10 years, and I loved that jacket. About a month later, someone called me, saying they found it and had been meaning to get in touch with me. Apparently I had some business cards in the inside pocket, so they were easily able to track me down. I was ecstatic. I worked for the tourism industry, I made her a little gift bag full of free tickets and deals and whatnot to say thanks.

/csb1

A few years ago I found a wallet on the ground, and was able to track the person down via Facebook, and got their stuff back to them pretty quickly. I lost my wallet about 2 weeks ago, and never heard anything. Luckily no one tried using my cards while I was trying to hunt it down. It really sucks losing all your stuff at once, especially on a Sunday when the bank is closed.

/csb2
2013-02-14 04:23:04 PM  
2 votes:
I am of the opinion that this worthless fluff piece was produced just so subby could f*ck up the headline by misreading the article.
2013-02-14 04:20:19 PM  
2 votes:

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?


WTF? I'm not even that old and I bet I've had an envelope with $1200 or more in it a couple dozen times in my life and it wasn't drug money even once (the drugs I buy are much cheaper than that in the quantities I buy them in if, hypothetically, I have ever purchased drugs). Maybe he was buying a crappy motorcycle off of craigslist, or a decent bicycle, or he had to pay some dudes to take down a couple trees or build a fence or... you get the picture. I think we live in an odd world where having cash makes people suspicious. 100k, sure, that's gonna make me wonder. $1200 though? Not a big deal.
2013-02-14 04:18:41 PM  
2 votes:
I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.
2013-02-14 04:14:52 PM  
2 votes:
When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.
2013-02-14 04:10:32 PM  
2 votes:
But what happened to the $1600 before the douchebag lost sight of it? Was the $2300 well hidden or was the $2500 in plain sight?
2013-02-14 04:09:43 PM  
2 votes:

ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.


I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.
2013-02-14 04:08:43 PM  
2 votes:

taurusowner: The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.


Eww and/or gross.
2013-02-14 04:08:25 PM  
2 votes:
1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future
2013-02-15 12:26:26 PM  
1 votes:
meh, put the cash in yer pocket and hand over the wallet
if they're good people
then you hand it over and everyone is happy

if they suck like a human black hole...vindication
2013-02-14 08:57:06 PM  
1 votes:

bill4935: I found a wallet once.  It was actually more of a day planner, like a filofax that had the guy's business schedule, credit cards and gym membership in it.  I was going to give it back to him, and I saw that I could just meet him at his next appointment for the day, which was at a swanky businessmen's lunchroom.  But the guy didn't show up!  When I went to find his client that he would be lunching with, the client thought I was the rich guy who owned the filofax!  He asked me a question about the Chicago Cubs right off the bat, and I knew the answer, so I told him.

Next thing I know we're sitting eating lobster and drinking margaritas!  Later, at the tennis lesson, I told him just what I thought of his low-quality Japanese foods and how he could improve his factory.  This shocked him, but I think he was impressed by my honesty.  Still no sign of Mr. Filofax.  Since the important Japanese client still thought I was him, I figured I should continue the gag, at least up until I had to leave to go watch the World Series (winning tickets to a Series game is why I felt I had to bust out of jail one day early, and what started this whole mess in the first place.)  But at the big meeting with the ad men, Spencer shows up and demands his filofax back!  Then his boss fired him for looking like a bum.  I guess without his planner the poor guy went completely to pieces.  So I took him to the ball game, the Cubs won, and I managed to sneak back inside the prison before the warden noticed me gone!  All in all, a pretty good couple of days.  I guess the moral of the story is to you all the kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand.


Wow, sounds like you were truly taking care of business.
2013-02-14 08:56:09 PM  
1 votes:
If anybody ever returns your valuables, give them all of it you can afford to and say "thank you". If you can't afford, at least the "thank you" is good.
2013-02-14 08:47:38 PM  
1 votes:
I found a wallet once.  It was actually more of a day planner, like a filofax that had the guy's business schedule, credit cards and gym membership in it.  I was going to give it back to him, and I saw that I could just meet him at his next appointment for the day, which was at a swanky businessmen's lunchroom.  But the guy didn't show up!  When I went to find his client that he would be lunching with, the client thought I was the rich guy who owned the filofax!  He asked me a question about the Chicago Cubs right off the bat, and I knew the answer, so I told him.

Next thing I know we're sitting eating lobster and drinking margaritas!  Later, at the tennis lesson, I told him just what I thought of his low-quality Japanese foods and how he could improve his factory.  This shocked him, but I think he was impressed by my honesty.  Still no sign of Mr. Filofax.  Since the important Japanese client still thought I was him, I figured I should continue the gag, at least up until I had to leave to go watch the World Series (winning tickets to a Series game is why I felt I had to bust out of jail one day early, and what started this whole mess in the first place.)  But at the big meeting with the ad men, Spencer shows up and demands his filofax back!  Then his boss fired him for looking like a bum.  I guess without his planner the poor guy went completely to pieces.  So I took him to the ball game, the Cubs won, and I managed to sneak back inside the prison before the warden noticed me gone!  All in all, a pretty good couple of days.  I guess the moral of the story is to you all the kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand.
2013-02-14 08:05:19 PM  
1 votes:
Not CSB:
When I was a teenager I found a girl's wallet with $30. That was a lot of money to me.  So I immediately went to the video game parlor and proceeded to piss that money away.  Later I'm sitting outside of the shop (insdie the mall) and a group of girls are walking around, one of them crying (she looked about 12 or 13) and they're all talking about "where else should we look".  It was obvious to me that I had found this girls money and spent it all on pinball without making the minimal attempt at finding the rightful owner.  I felt like shiat.  Since then, I have always returned found wallets.  I don't want any more bad kharma for being a douche.
2013-02-14 08:04:13 PM  
1 votes:
I lost my wallet at the Louvre in Paris last April.  It was returned to the lost and found with all the cards and money still in it.  Pretty amazing.  Thank you French person/Louvre Tourist, whoever you are!
2013-02-14 07:10:11 PM  
1 votes:

Macular Degenerate: A few years back, I dropped my wallet in a bar in Boston the night I cashed my paycheck. I went back later that same night, and the bartender handed it to me with some douchey comment, like "Hey man, I didn't steal your money," because it was empty except for the credit cards. I couldn't prove that he stole the money, but someone obviously did. From that day forth, I never return anything that I find on the street. Credit cards, sure. But if it's fungible, (i.e. envelope full of cash), it's mine. Period. And I have no regrets. Karma's a biatch, honey


Yeah........That's not exactly how the karma idea works.  It has to do with YOUR actions within the world, not punishing complete strangers who had nothing to do with your bar incident for the bar incident.
2013-02-14 07:02:06 PM  
1 votes:
My brother and I found a wallet in a Subway sandwich shop in Mojave, CA. There was cash, which we didn't count, and a driver's license for a girl living out in Boron, a tiny spot between Mojave and Barstow. I thought it would be fun to return it, so we drove on out to this tiny economically depressed spot in the middle of the Mojave Desert and found the address, The old lady that answered the door looked so sad but she perked right up when we gave her the wallet. Turned out it belonged to her daughter, who was going to school in Bakersfield and had just called her Mom, distraught, having just got back to school from her trip home. The woman's thanks and big smile was our only reward and my brother and I toasted each other with a cream soda at the local Stop-N-Rob before getting back on Hwy 58 and going on our way.

Sometimes the reward for doing the right thing is subtle.
2013-02-14 06:55:36 PM  
1 votes:
CSB:

When my daughter was 13, I took her and two of her friends to a ComicCon. I was only there to make sure they got back home safely and keep track of them, but let them cruise off through the event on their own for extended periods. They came to check in and made me go with them to one of the dining areas, where they pointed out a $20 bill on one of the seats.

"We found that on the floor. It wasn't ours, so we went around and asked everyone if they had lost any money. No one said they had lost it, so we decided to put it on the chair closest to where we found it."

I was surprised that no one had told them, "Uh, yeah, that must be mine." But that wasn't the truly amazing part. Two hours later, we checked back and the $20 was still there. As far as I know, it became a tip for the janitor at the end of the night.

Gained some faith in humanity that day. Or at least faith in geek humanity. ComicCon is probably the only place in town that could have happened.
2013-02-14 06:31:57 PM  
1 votes:
If I understand the bulk of comments here, somebody you didn't know was mean/rude/unappreciative to you once -so screw everybody you don't know.

To the lab. I shall design a virus that lives on money for about an hour. It cannot be passed any other way than the handling of money but will be inactivated after the first person touches it. It will cause an infection with little to no symptoms other than to cause sterility. I shall use crowdfunding to support my crusade to spread this.
My great-great grandchildren will inherit a better world.
2013-02-14 05:53:02 PM  
1 votes:

Ohlookabutterfly: Considering possession is 9/10ths of the law, I ask all you Fark authorities on everything whether or not the findee could be charged with theft if he just kept on going his merry way considering it his lucky day, maybe donating half the wad to the local food bank to pay karma it's just due.


Yes, taking stuff that is not yours is illegal in most everywhere.
2013-02-14 05:25:44 PM  
1 votes:
I found a wallet and by doing some detective work via Facebook and Linkedin managed to track the girl down. Made arrangements to meet that evening outside of a cafe to give it back. She was incredibly thankful and gracious and didn't think twice that I may have taken anything. I even said "it looks like everything is still there, cards, ID, etc but I didn't know how much cash you had in the first place." She said "I don't even care about the cash, just glad to get it back."

No, we didn't bang afterward, but that would be a CSB.
2013-02-14 05:25:23 PM  
1 votes:
Actually, the person with $1,200 cash who loses it is almost ALWAYS the douchebag, regardless of appearance.
2013-02-14 05:22:56 PM  
1 votes:

Zombie DJ: FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton


True. If you judge books by their covers, you'll be right way more often than not.
2013-02-14 05:22:41 PM  
1 votes:
I once found a wallet; it was right where I left it.
2013-02-14 05:15:43 PM  
1 votes:
I've found wallets a few times in my life. I always turn then into lost and found, but consider the missing cash my way of incentivizing you ti keep track of your things.
2013-02-14 05:07:32 PM  
1 votes:
My wife was turning in a lost cellphone to a Walgreens once, even called one of the numbers in the phone so they could tell the owner where they could pick it up. The phone promptly rings back, and the owner made all kinds of threats if she didn't bring the phone to him across town right away. She said well shiat, I'll just throw it back in the parking lot! ..or you can be farkin thankful and pick it up at Walgreens. He opted for Walgreens.
2013-02-14 05:06:48 PM  
1 votes:
When I was in high school, I had a job working at a gas station.  One morning a Camaro driven by a 30-ish woman dressed(badly) like a secretary drove into the station.  I could see there was something dragging under the car when it drove in.  She drove up to me and through the window said,  "It sounds like something is dragging under my car, the noise started this morning."  I could she was wearing one of those oversized trench coats with the big wrap-around belt.  Yup, you guessed it,  she got into the car and closed the door with the buckle end of the belt hanging outside of the car.    The buckle was dragging along, and bouncing up and down against the rocker panel.  I told her to open the door.  When she opened the door,  I picked up the belt, which was worse for wear, and said, "This is what's dragging".  I didn't make fun.  I didn't say it in a snarky kind of way.  it was said as a matter of fact.  She grabbed the belt out of my hands, slammed the door and called me an asshole before driving off.   Experiences like that are what turn young kids into cynics.
2013-02-14 04:59:51 PM  
1 votes:
I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.
2013-02-14 04:51:57 PM  
1 votes:
Where are all the stories like:

Whenever I walk into restaurants, I find money on the tables all the time.  I don't know why people so easily lose money there.

Or

This one time at church, they were just passing around a basket for people to take money from.  That must have been a really rich church.
2013-02-14 04:43:40 PM  
1 votes:

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.

csb
favorited
2013-02-14 04:42:32 PM  
1 votes:

mongbiohazard: OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.


It probably wasn't really even hers.  She just slammed the door quickly before you realized it.  (The danced around the house for a few hours.)


As far as this story goes, I thought for sure the guy who found the money would wind up arrested.  A simply bit of snark from a duechebag hardly warrants a story like this...
2013-02-14 04:38:39 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: I just got a customer ticket for a technical issue.  I swear her description was barely above utter gibberish - random mistyped characters, bizarre punctuation, issue completely unclear.  Instead of communicating through text I called her to offer an online web conference.

"Hi, my name is Diogenes and I'm from X Company Support.  I'm calling to assist with your technical issue."

"Well this better be good.  Because I'm leaving at 4."


My last job, I would get Tech Tickets that said:

Subject: Not working
Details: Not working

And that was it...

I also hate the ones that say "ZOMG!!!! Computer not working. I can't log in, can't check my email. I'm using webmail right now, I need this fixed immediately!! I have to schedule time to fellate the President in between meeting with the Russian Prime Minister and startting the Easter Egg Roll on the White House Lawn!! Emergency!! Emergency!!"

Then you spend the next 3 weeks trying to email, call, and stop by their office for this dire emergency. Two things happen:
1. The issue has resolved itself, and the user never followed up to tell you this.
2. The user typed that message heading out the door before going on vacation, followed by a work-related trip.

Support tickets are fun... Never ran into someone who put in a ticket, then was too busy to let you at last follow up on it.
2013-02-14 04:36:53 PM  
1 votes:

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


progressforge.com
2013-02-14 04:35:59 PM  
1 votes:
I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.
2013-02-14 04:32:37 PM  
1 votes:

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...


Did he really even need to count it?

A: Who is going to go to the trouble of returning an empty envelope?

B: If someone stole the money, they'd take it all. It's not like they'd swipe $50, and leave $1150 in the envelope.

ANY comment there is pretty douche-y, with the exception of 'Wow, thanks, I'm glad an honest person found this. I really appreciate it.'. Hell, he didn't even have to give the dude a reward in order to not come across as a douche, he just needed to not make douchebag comments like that.
2013-02-14 04:31:48 PM  
1 votes:
I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.
2013-02-14 04:30:29 PM  
1 votes:

WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.


So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?
2013-02-14 04:28:49 PM  
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Ha ha ha! Good one!


The dirty will only rip you off for what you have on you.
The fancy dressed will rip you off for everything you have.
2013-02-14 04:27:48 PM  
1 votes:
From TFA:  "...walking around the store to see if he could find anyone who had lost something. He found a man who said he had lost the envelope of cash..."

I'm fairly sure that if I had just lost an envelope of $1200, I would continue on my hardware shopping trip.  I imagine it all went down something like this:

Finder: "Helllooo!  Anyone in the store lose anything... an envelope of cash!!???"

Man: "Why, yes, yes, thank you.  I did lose an envelope of cash.  I'd completely given up hope on finding it, and just came in to find those special curtain rod fasteners this hardware store keeps in stock.  But thank you for finding my envelope of cash."

Finder: "$1200. Is that what you lost?"

Man: "Heh, heh, well, I hope it's all there."
2013-02-14 04:27:06 PM  
1 votes:
If I find a wallet with ID, or an envelope with a name/address on it, I'll make a reasonable effort to find the rightful owner. If I find loose money, or a wallet with no identification, it's mine. Hell, anyone could say "Oh, you found a hundred dollars? That's mine. I lost a hundred dollars."

gawker.com

This money is mines!
2013-02-14 04:22:28 PM  
1 votes:
I do not carry money on me let alone $1200.00 but if I did for some reason I would go directly to where I was going to use that $1200.00
2013-02-14 04:17:52 PM  
1 votes:
I lost a wallet while I was waiting for my ride home from work once. It had about $40 in cash, along with all the rest of the detritus. I'm pretty sure it just fell out of my pocket. I know who took it, since I had the wallet when I walked out of the mall, and didn't have it after getting home. The only possible person could have been the teenage girl who was on the bench next to me.

I only bring it up here because about 6 weeks later, I got the wallet and cards back in the mail, sans cash. It was addressed in feminine handwriting. I always imagine her mom catching her with a stranger's wallet and forcing her to mail it back.
2013-02-14 04:16:50 PM  
1 votes:

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...


Yeah, sounds like the guy got his panties all bunched up and his feelings hurt.  Or he was looking for a reward, and didn't receive one so he posted a whine online, pointing out how darn NICE he was.  Sometimes when you're a "nice person", to even insinuate something other than you being wonderfully nice is a huge insult.  If the guy had said something like "did you take any" or "how did you get that", then it would be offensive, even though they're valid questions.
2013-02-14 04:16:35 PM  
1 votes:
I was expecting some over-the-top reaction like a surprise punch to the gut or the guy freaking out and waving a hatchet around. "I hope it's all there" is apparently a reaction so shocking and horrible that it merits a news story. Assuming of course that the facebook posting this article is based on is accurate.
2013-02-14 04:15:19 PM  
1 votes:
Osborn hopes that people will learn from his experience, and he says, "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

eh... For the most part, around here everyone has tattoos, beards and looks dirty.

It's the bastards wearing expensive suits and smelling like a Macy's counter display you need to watch out for. Those assholes'll rob you blind. : )
2013-02-14 04:12:39 PM  
1 votes:
$1200 in an envelope.  Sounds like he owed someone money.  That may be why he reacted like he did.  He was hoping he was going to be able to pay off a debt that he otherwise could not.

More likely, he's just a douche.  But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt when I can.
2013-02-14 04:11:45 PM  
1 votes:

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


"I am going to get raped by my dealer if it isn't all there" seems more likely, yeah
2013-02-14 04:11:22 PM  
1 votes:
I just got a customer ticket for a technical issue.  I swear her description was barely above utter gibberish - random mistyped characters, bizarre punctuation, issue completely unclear.  Instead of communicating through text I called her to offer an online web conference.

"Hi, my name is Diogenes and I'm from X Company Support.  I'm calling to assist with your technical issue."

"Well this better be good.  Because I'm leaving at 4."
2013-02-14 04:10:11 PM  
1 votes:
So, did we ever get an answer on whether it was all there?
2013-02-14 04:06:04 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton
2013-02-14 04:05:18 PM  
1 votes:

psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.


The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.
2013-02-14 04:05:17 PM  
1 votes:
Well, in the douchebag's defense, he DID have to get to the gym in 26 minutes...
2013-02-14 04:05:15 PM  
1 votes:
Did I miss the part where it was in a car that he was cleaning?
2013-02-14 01:47:46 PM  
1 votes:
The guy owns a detail shop...he might very well make a lot more more than said douche, anyway.
 
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