If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 301
    More: Sad, Good Samaritan, Sutherlands Hardware Store, no good deed goes unpunished  
•       •       •

52658 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 4:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



301 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-14 04:40:24 PM

majestic: CheekyMonkey: majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.

So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?

Damnit! THERE.

And no, it was in the cart return area. Like she picked up her items and walked out the door without her purse.


That makes more sense.

\Every time I see an unattended, purse-containing cart in the supermarket, I think about moving it to the next aisle.  The purse-owner probably wouldn't find it as funny as I, though...
 
2013-02-14 04:41:03 PM
A few years back, I dropped my wallet in a bar in Boston the night I cashed my paycheck. I went back later that same night, and the bartender handed it to me with some douchey comment, like "Hey man, I didn't steal your money," because it was empty except for the credit cards. I couldn't prove that he stole the money, but someone obviously did. From that day forth, I never return anything that I find on the street. Credit cards, sure. But if it's fungible, (i.e. envelope full of cash), it's mine. Period. And I have no regrets. Karma's a biatch, honey
 
2013-02-14 04:41:18 PM

hammettman: From TFA:  "...walking around the store to see if he could find anyone who had lost something. He found a man who said he had lost the envelope of cash..."

I'm fairly sure that if I had just lost an envelope of $1200, I would continue on my hardware shopping trip.  I imagine it all went down something like this:

Finder: "Helllooo!  Anyone in the store lose anything... an envelope of cash!!???"

Man: "Why, yes, yes, thank you.  I did lose an envelope of cash.  I'd completely given up hope on finding it, and just came in to find those special curtain rod fasteners this hardware store keeps in stock.  But thank you for finding my envelope of cash."

Finder: "$1200. Is that what you lost?"

Man: "Heh, heh, well, I hope it's all there."


That's what I would have done.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:09 PM
Considering possession is 9/10ths of the law, I ask all you Fark authorities on everything whether or not the findee could be charged with theft if he just kept on going his merry way considering it his lucky day, maybe donating half the wad to the local food bank to pay karma it's just due.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:17 PM

Southern100: blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB

*Raises Hand*

It will depend on if my phone has signal in there, though. If it does, I'll read the news, or browse a site in my favorites. If my phone doesn't have a signal (or it's about to lose battery), I'll use the time to clean out my wallet of old receipts I don't need, business cards that I collect & don't use, old store "rewards cards" with barcodes that I'll transfer to my phone reward card app, etc.. basically just housecleaning. If I'm sitting there, I might as well be productive. :)


If you it takes you that long to pinch a loaf at a fast-food restaurant, you should probably hold the cheese and switch to the multi-grain bread.

Just sayin'.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:28 PM
In the money owner's defense, he also rides a bicycle.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:32 PM

mongbiohazard: OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.


It probably wasn't really even hers.  She just slammed the door quickly before you realized it.  (The danced around the house for a few hours.)


As far as this story goes, I thought for sure the guy who found the money would wind up arrested.  A simply bit of snark from a duechebag hardly warrants a story like this...
 
2013-02-14 04:43:21 PM

majestic: I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


I've done similar things when working at restaurants. I hold the thing away from my body, out in the open, as if it were somehow infected, so that everyone can see me hand it off to anybody.

When I waited tables, I'd do something a little different if I found money, since it usually belonged to the other waitstaff, and I didn't trust most of the managers either. I'd hold onto the money and spread the word that I'd found some. People would have to be pretty close on how much they lost, what night they lost it, and roughly what time they had lost it before I'd hand it over. Never got to keep any, but seriously made some coworkers' days that way. One dude was so grateful, I thought he was gonna kiss me...  :-)
 
2013-02-14 04:43:29 PM
Did the Unlikely tag fall out of someone's pocket?
 
2013-02-14 04:43:40 PM

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.

csb
favorited
 
2013-02-14 04:44:15 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: I once left my wallet, containing $900, in a motel room. When I realized it was gone, I turned around, and went back. It was only about an hour, by then the maid had already cleaned the room. That must've been that maid's best day of work ever. Never saw my money again. :(


Heh, someone stole one of my 24-packs of soda on the elevator to my apartment when I was in college ... I was loading the last few bags of groceries off the elevator on to my apartment floor when the door closed ... waited for it to come back and curiously one of the two cases of soda was missing.

Who the fark steals a $5 case of Pepsi in side of one elevator trip ... seriously? I think it was then that I officially lost hope for humanity.
 
2013-02-14 04:44:33 PM

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.

 
2013-02-14 04:45:07 PM
$1200 is not a huge amount of money to carry with you. You don't want to lose it, but there are plenty of legitimate, non-drug-related reasons to have an envelope of cash.

reske.us
 
2013-02-14 04:45:51 PM
Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi
 
2013-02-14 04:45:55 PM

calbert: that's how the universe works.


ha! I knew that I shared my story here a few years ago:

Excuse me, sir, you dropped this. Forty years ago

/so either that lends credibility
//or at the least it shows my commitment to the long-game
 
2013-02-14 04:46:26 PM

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?


Uncle Billy was taking it to the bank to deposit it and stuck it inside his newspaper for safekeeping. In the bank lobby old Mister Potter grabbed the paper from Uncle Billy, who didn't realize the envelope was still inside the newspaper.
 
2013-02-14 04:47:08 PM
ftfa: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

No, it just means that they made poor decisions in life.
 
2013-02-14 04:47:15 PM

KangTheMad: you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.


dammit

//wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg
 
2013-02-14 04:48:29 PM

Wellon Dowd: SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

Uncle Billy was taking it to the bank to deposit it and stuck it inside his newspaper for safekeeping. In the bank lobby old Mister Potter grabbed the paper from Uncle Billy, who didn't realize the envelope was still inside the newspaper.


Hilarity ensues.
 
2013-02-14 04:48:31 PM
A couple of years ago, I found an IRS federal income refund check on the ground.  Only about $600, but it was endorsed and everything.   I could easily have cashed it with no questions asked.

Instead, I walked directly to security booth I had just passed, handed it to the guard and said, "I don't want anything to do with this.  Please find the owner."

Mind you, check fraud is a felony.  And if it's a federal check, that makes it even worse.
 
2013-02-14 04:49:11 PM

weirdneighbour: Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi


Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides money
 
2013-02-14 04:50:44 PM

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


1) It was Dave Ramsey.
2) That's what guardian angels are for.
 
2013-02-14 04:50:46 PM

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


Well, I can see someone doing this if it's sucha fat wallet that it doesn't fit in the pocket very well and tends to fall out onto the shiat stained floor when your pants are hanging around your ankles. Also, I don't actually carry my wallet in my back pocket anymore, and have set it down in weird places, rather than have it fall out of my jacket pocket. Never forgotten it, though.
 
2013-02-14 04:50:50 PM

blatz514: Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip. Went to use the bathroom and do my business. There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser. I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?


Wan't that the plot of a Jim Belushi movie? I can't remember where he found Charles Grodin's wallet.
 
2013-02-14 04:51:16 PM
Whenever I'm looking around for something and someone asks, "Did you lose something?"--my stock answer is now going to be: "An envelope full of money." (It's either that or I'll just keep using the answer I use now: "A baggie full of weed.")
 
2013-02-14 04:51:28 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: psychicdeath99: ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.

I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.

Man, whatever happened to psyichdeath98?
That guy was way nicer.


He's doing five to ten in the state prison for purse snatching and typos.
 
2013-02-14 04:51:57 PM
Where are all the stories like:

Whenever I walk into restaurants, I find money on the tables all the time.  I don't know why people so easily lose money there.

Or

This one time at church, they were just passing around a basket for people to take money from.  That must have been a really rich church.
 
2013-02-14 04:52:32 PM

sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.


What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.
 
2013-02-14 04:53:16 PM
My great grandfather found a wallet on the street in Austria many years ago.  He looked at the ID, and saw that the man was a painter who lived nearby.  Grandpa was shocked when he went to return the wallet and was accused of stealing the money that had been in it.  The painter flew into such a rage that he slapped the yarmulke off of Grampa's head and chased him down the street spewing anti-semitic insults at him.
 
2013-02-14 04:53:52 PM

durbnpoisn: A couple of years ago, I found an IRS federal income refund check on the ground.  Only about $600, but it was endorsed and everything.   I could easily have cashed it with no questions asked.

Instead, I walked directly to security booth I had just passed, handed it to the guard and said, "I don't want anything to do with this.  Please find the owner."

Mind you, check fraud is a felony.  And if it's a federal check, that makes it even worse.


I just found (last night), a social security card in a book that my prof. handed out to us. Someone must have had used it as a bookmark.

My question is WHY???

//reported it to the prof, gave her the name
///going to mail it to the social security PO box address on the back
 
2013-02-14 04:54:40 PM
 Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi

Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides mone
 
2013-02-14 04:55:10 PM
Lost a wallet once.  Actually it was in the pocket of my motorcycle jacket and the jacket got stolen.  2 or 3 weeks later there's a knock on my door at midnight or 1 AM.  It's the cops, they found my drivers license, credit cards etc scattered all over the road a few miles away.  Although I had already called and cancelled everything and had a new DL on the way I thanked them and we stood out in the carport just talking for 5 minutes or so.  Finally one of them said "Well Zul, we gotta go.  We're on our way to a burglary in progress down the street".

/Thx for my cancelled credit cards, but I'd really rather you go catch my damn burglar.
//csb
 
2013-02-14 04:57:09 PM

downtownkid: My great grandfather found a wallet on the street in Austria many years ago.  He looked at the ID, and saw that the man was a painter who lived nearby.  Grandpa was shocked when he went to return the wallet and was accused of stealing the money that had been in it.  The painter flew into such a rage that he slapped the yarmulke off of Grampa's head and chased him down the street spewing anti-semitic insults at him.


Grandpa stole the money, didn't he?
 
2013-02-14 04:57:37 PM
I wouldn't have given it back because anyone who carries cash around in an envelope is a moron and deserves to lose it. You simply wrap it around your driver's license and credit cards with a rubber band to hold it in place. And keep the big bills on the outside.
pandodaily.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-14 04:58:15 PM

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.

 
   Agreed. Who gives a shiat what the owner says when you follow your conscience and give them their property back. Is she the one looking back at you when you face the mirror?

  Fark her, you should have prepared for the possibility that people can be selfish coonts and pissed on her doorstep before you left.
 
2013-02-14 04:59:51 PM
I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.
 
2013-02-14 05:01:36 PM

taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.



So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.
 
2013-02-14 05:03:22 PM
 Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi

Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides money


preview, how does it work

 She may have been hot few decades ago, now, not so much.
 
2013-02-14 05:03:24 PM

Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.


I think you mean your mom.  You went to live with your aunt in California.

God, get it right.
 
2013-02-14 05:04:59 PM

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.


The lesson is "take the cash, wipe off your fingerprints, throw it on their porch, run."

/Be thankful you didn't have to cancel your credit cards and pay for a new driver license
 
2013-02-14 05:05:09 PM

durbnpoisn: It probably wasn't really even hers. She just slammed the door quickly before you realized it. (The danced around the house for a few hours.)


All the more reason to thank me politely and not be a jerk about it.
 
2013-02-14 05:05:37 PM

robohobo: blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB

[progressforge.com image 483x360]


Lulz.  Good episode and I get what you're saying, but my pants are usually around my ankles while crapping.  Not sure how a fat wallet would get in the way being down on the floor.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:17 PM
The envelope was dropped on purpose, dumbass
 
2013-02-14 05:06:29 PM

PrivateCaboose: Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.

I think you mean your mom.  You went to live with your aunt in California.

God, get it right.


Oops.

Oh well.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:48 PM
When I was in high school, I had a job working at a gas station.  One morning a Camaro driven by a 30-ish woman dressed(badly) like a secretary drove into the station.  I could see there was something dragging under the car when it drove in.  She drove up to me and through the window said,  "It sounds like something is dragging under my car, the noise started this morning."  I could she was wearing one of those oversized trench coats with the big wrap-around belt.  Yup, you guessed it,  she got into the car and closed the door with the buckle end of the belt hanging outside of the car.    The buckle was dragging along, and bouncing up and down against the rocker panel.  I told her to open the door.  When she opened the door,  I picked up the belt, which was worse for wear, and said, "This is what's dragging".  I didn't make fun.  I didn't say it in a snarky kind of way.  it was said as a matter of fact.  She grabbed the belt out of my hands, slammed the door and called me an asshole before driving off.   Experiences like that are what turn young kids into cynics.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:54 PM

BigNumber12: Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?


Yeah. People who actually work for a living. For instance, myself. I'm a  newspaper pressman. After a two week vacation, I may finally have dug all the ink out of my ears, fingernails, and scrubbed it out of my palms and knees.

/Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.
 
2013-02-14 05:07:32 PM
My wife was turning in a lost cellphone to a Walgreens once, even called one of the numbers in the phone so they could tell the owner where they could pick it up. The phone promptly rings back, and the owner made all kinds of threats if she didn't bring the phone to him across town right away. She said well shiat, I'll just throw it back in the parking lot! ..or you can be farkin thankful and pick it up at Walgreens. He opted for Walgreens.
 
2013-02-14 05:07:36 PM
My two favorite found money CSBs

1: Wading around in the Flordia gulf when I feel something brush my hand. Instinctively I grab it, because it could be seaweed, it could be a big-ass man-o-war. Either way I found something interesting. Turns out it was a crisp (well now soggy) new 20. Just floating along with the currents. Sadly it wasn't part of a school.

2: At a gunshow. Had to use the bathrooms. As anyone who has been to a gunshow can tell you, the bathrooms are pissy free-for-alls were the toilets are more of a suggestion. I see a wad of bills on the floor. Now I am no stranger to Poo_Dollar, and I don't need a couple of 1s that bad. But wait, what's that in the middle? That larger white boarder....is that...it is! a 20! And a 5 to go with it. But did the 1s provide enough of a barrier? Gently I grab the 25 bucks by the edge and shake off the pissy 1s, I carefully test the dollar for urine content (I eyeball it) and make the determination that the four sacrificial singles did a good enough job keeping the piss off. Still to be safe, I stuck them in a cargo pocket and used them there so I wouldn't have to take them home. Later I wondered about the now extra pissy 4 singles laying on the floor and wondered if anyone would take them. I went back 20 minutes later and they were gone, of course.
 
2013-02-14 05:09:06 PM

lordjupiter: taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.


So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.


Nice strawman. Try reading what I said next time.

You see a guy wearing an Ohio State hat, shirt, and has red and white paint on his face. He's a U of M fan right?
You see a guy with long hair, spiked wrist bands, eye shadow, baggy black pants, and a Godsmack shirt. He's on his way to a Nicki Minaj show right?

Sorry, but you can tell a lot about people by the way they dress and present themselves. Your style and clothing is your choice. You picked it all for a reason. It says something about you. That's why you picked it. You wear a suit to an interview. You wear a sports team shirt to a game. Band shirts to concerts. Jeans and a t shirt to hang out. Whatever it is, your appearance is the way it is for a reason. Your reason. And people can read into it if they want. Most of the time they're right.
 
2013-02-14 05:09:37 PM
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

I usually go with probability on this one.
 
Displayed 50 of 301 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report