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(Yahoo)   Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 300
    More: Sad, Good Samaritan, Sutherlands Hardware Store, no good deed goes unpunished  
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52675 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 4:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



300 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-14 04:20:03 PM  

borg: tricycleracer: When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.

Well did you steal it? or was it one of your co-workers?


And here is one of the unsung problems of weed prohibition. People can steal your stash, and you have no recourse! Not cool.
 
2013-02-14 04:20:19 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?


WTF? I'm not even that old and I bet I've had an envelope with $1200 or more in it a couple dozen times in my life and it wasn't drug money even once (the drugs I buy are much cheaper than that in the quantities I buy them in if, hypothetically, I have ever purchased drugs). Maybe he was buying a crappy motorcycle off of craigslist, or a decent bicycle, or he had to pay some dudes to take down a couple trees or build a fence or... you get the picture. I think we live in an odd world where having cash makes people suspicious. 100k, sure, that's gonna make me wonder. $1200 though? Not a big deal.
 
2013-02-14 04:21:41 PM  

Mateorocks: Even money on the car either being a BMW or a Saab.


Hummer knock off.

/Wild a$$ guess.
 
2013-02-14 04:21:57 PM  
I would've told him to go Fark himself!
 
2013-02-14 04:22:28 PM  
I do not carry money on me let alone $1200.00 but if I did for some reason I would go directly to where I was going to use that $1200.00
 
2013-02-14 04:23:04 PM  
I am of the opinion that this worthless fluff piece was produced just so subby could f*ck up the headline by misreading the article.
 
2013-02-14 04:23:17 PM  

oldfarthenry: I'm glad douche-beard got a swag-bag for his efforts.


When I lived in SF, I was at Dolores Park with a bunch of friends day drinking during some fest, and I left my spring jacket there. I didn't notice (because it had gotten warm after getting there) until I was almost home. I was pretty mad since I had it for about 10 years, and I loved that jacket. About a month later, someone called me, saying they found it and had been meaning to get in touch with me. Apparently I had some business cards in the inside pocket, so they were easily able to track me down. I was ecstatic. I worked for the tourism industry, I made her a little gift bag full of free tickets and deals and whatnot to say thanks.

/csb1

A few years ago I found a wallet on the ground, and was able to track the person down via Facebook, and got their stuff back to them pretty quickly. I lost my wallet about 2 weeks ago, and never heard anything. Luckily no one tried using my cards while I was trying to hunt it down. It really sucks losing all your stuff at once, especially on a Sunday when the bank is closed.

/csb2
 
2013-02-14 04:24:19 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


meh, it could have just been one of those little envelopes banks put money in. I don't often have that kind of cash on me, but it's not unheard of. But your #2 is certainly valid.
 
2013-02-14 04:24:29 PM  

markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..


I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:31 PM  
I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:38 PM  
What the... I'd be more likely to forget to attach my head to my neck than lose track of an envelope filled with $1200.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:39 PM  

borg: tricycleracer: When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.

Well did you steal it? or was it one of your co-workers?


Wasn't me, didn't hear who if anyone took it.  The guy was high as a kite when he made his accusation.  He may have left his stash in his other Lexus.
 
2013-02-14 04:26:22 PM  
To be fair, that guy had only 25 minutes to go back to making "Welcome to Fark" responses on our Politics Tab...
 
2013-02-14 04:26:48 PM  
We stopped at a gas station to get the kids some snacks half-way through a 700 mile trip to Myrtle Beach S.C.  There was a $100 bill on the ground when I stepped out.  I pocketed it.  We waited for 30 minutes to see if anyone came back looking around then continued on our trip.  When we arrived and I told my in-laws you'd swear I grew horns.  I was supposed to:

#1 Go to the attendant and ask if anyone lost a $100 dollar bill.
#2 If the attendant didn't say something like "Yeah.. that was me" I was supposed to make sure I drop it off at my in-law's church.

Any other response meant that their suspicions were confirmed that I was an evil person and that their grandchildren were indeed being "Raised in a heathen home".
 
2013-02-14 04:27:06 PM  
If I find a wallet with ID, or an envelope with a name/address on it, I'll make a reasonable effort to find the rightful owner. If I find loose money, or a wallet with no identification, it's mine. Hell, anyone could say "Oh, you found a hundred dollars? That's mine. I lost a hundred dollars."

gawker.com

This money is mines!
 
2013-02-14 04:27:07 PM  

Zombie DJ: FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton


For example: this book's subject is represented by an out-of-focus bust in the background. The author, however, is in the foreground and takes up nearly half of the cover, while his name is quite prominent. It's almost as if they expect to sell the book because of the author rather than the material.

www.glennbeck.com
 
2013-02-14 04:27:17 PM  

majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


poc.ramp.com

"Theoretically, people see money on
        the counter and nobody around, they
        think they're being watched."
 
2013-02-14 04:27:33 PM  

majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?
 
2013-02-14 04:27:48 PM  
From TFA:  "...walking around the store to see if he could find anyone who had lost something. He found a man who said he had lost the envelope of cash..."

I'm fairly sure that if I had just lost an envelope of $1200, I would continue on my hardware shopping trip.  I imagine it all went down something like this:

Finder: "Helllooo!  Anyone in the store lose anything... an envelope of cash!!???"

Man: "Why, yes, yes, thank you.  I did lose an envelope of cash.  I'd completely given up hope on finding it, and just came in to find those special curtain rod fasteners this hardware store keeps in stock.  But thank you for finding my envelope of cash."

Finder: "$1200. Is that what you lost?"

Man: "Heh, heh, well, I hope it's all there."
 
2013-02-14 04:28:22 PM  

F1_Fan: markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..

I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.


I gave up a long time ago. I think I've been visiting for 11 or 12 years and haven't submitted a link in 6 or 7 years.
 
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.
 
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  

The Southern Dandy: Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!


Small business owner for Obummer...get real!
 
2013-02-14 04:28:49 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Ha ha ha! Good one!


The dirty will only rip you off for what you have on you.
The fancy dressed will rip you off for everything you have.
 
2013-02-14 04:29:33 PM  

F1_Fan: markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..

I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.


Drew made an FAQ for people just like you.
 
2013-02-14 04:30:02 PM  
Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable

www.smithandhasslerblog.com

Are you on drugs?
 
2013-02-14 04:30:28 PM  
Reading comprehension much Subby??
 
2013-02-14 04:30:29 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.


So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?
 
2013-02-14 04:30:33 PM  
Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?
 
2013-02-14 04:31:12 PM  
I lost my wallet in an airport a number of years back.  Whomever found it took out enough money to pay for FedEx to overnight it to me.  I thought that was quite nice of them but have no idea who it was.  They might have even had a tattoo and beard.
 
2013-02-14 04:31:16 PM  
OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.
 
2013-02-14 04:31:48 PM  
I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:18 PM  

CheekyMonkey: majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.

So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?


Damnit! THERE.

And no, it was in the cart return area. Like she picked up her items and walked out the door without her purse.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:27 PM  
My good Samaritan CSB:

I'm walking along the beach and this little girl runs up to me, freaking out, and says, "Mister, I know I'm not supposed to talk to strangers but my sister is trapped on a rock and can't get down.  I can't find my parents.  They said they'd never leave me but they're gone!"

Sure enough an even younger girl is sitting on top of a pretty big ocean rock and bawling because she's afraid to climb down.  I climb up, help her down and tell that I'll wait with her until her parents get back.  About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.

I never even got to tell her that it would be a cold day before her kids would ever trust her again.

/CSB
 
2013-02-14 04:32:37 PM  

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...


Did he really even need to count it?

A: Who is going to go to the trouble of returning an empty envelope?

B: If someone stole the money, they'd take it all. It's not like they'd swipe $50, and leave $1150 in the envelope.

ANY comment there is pretty douche-y, with the exception of 'Wow, thanks, I'm glad an honest person found this. I really appreciate it.'. Hell, he didn't even have to give the dude a reward in order to not come across as a douche, he just needed to not make douchebag comments like that.
 
2013-02-14 04:33:01 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


*Raises Hand*

It will depend on if my phone has signal in there, though. If it does, I'll read the news, or browse a site in my favorites. If my phone doesn't have a signal (or it's about to lose battery), I'll use the time to clean out my wallet of old receipts I don't need, business cards that I collect & don't use, old store "rewards cards" with barcodes that I'll transfer to my phone reward card app, etc.. basically just housecleaning. If I'm sitting there, I might as well be productive. :)
 
2013-02-14 04:33:05 PM  

Theaetetus: What he doesn't mention is that the envelope originally had $2000.


HAS ANYONE MENTIONED THAT THERE WAS $3000 IN THE ENVELOPE YET?!
 
2013-02-14 04:33:26 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?


Avoiding all the stereotypical gangbanger clothing is probably enough...
 
2013-02-14 04:33:44 PM  
"Osborn was surprised by what the man said: "I hope it's all there."


YES SIR! IT IS DEFINITELY ALL THERE. YOU ARE CERTAINLY HOLDING TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASH IN YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW. HAVE A GOOD DAY.
 
2013-02-14 04:34:43 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.


He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.
 
2013-02-14 04:34:49 PM  
Hmm, do people really look down on "dirty" people?
My life experience has taught me that they're the nicest people you'll meet.

Beware the people in expensive clothing or "thorough" personal appearances.
 
2013-02-14 04:35:59 PM  
I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:38 PM  

taurusowner: Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.


Exactly.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:47 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?



You sound poor.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:53 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


progressforge.com
 
2013-02-14 04:37:13 PM  

psychicdeath99: ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.

I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.


Man, whatever happened to psyichdeath98?
That guy was way nicer.
 
2013-02-14 04:37:16 PM  
My lost wallet CSB:

I lost my wallet on a bike ride on a Sunday afternoon.  Went to work Monday after cancelling all my cars, determined to get a replacement wallet on my lunch break.  I was pulled over driving to work for failing to signal on a lane change, and got three citations ... one for failing to signal, one for no license, and one for no proof of insurance.  All in all, that bike ride cost me north of $800 after all was said and done.

/Fark you, pigs.
 
2013-02-14 04:37:27 PM  
I once left my wallet, containing $900, in a motel room. When I realized it was gone, I turned around, and went back. It was only about an hour, by then the maid had already cleaned the room. That must've been that maid's best day of work ever. Never saw my money again. :(
 
2013-02-14 04:38:39 PM  

Diogenes: I just got a customer ticket for a technical issue.  I swear her description was barely above utter gibberish - random mistyped characters, bizarre punctuation, issue completely unclear.  Instead of communicating through text I called her to offer an online web conference.

"Hi, my name is Diogenes and I'm from X Company Support.  I'm calling to assist with your technical issue."

"Well this better be good.  Because I'm leaving at 4."


My last job, I would get Tech Tickets that said:

Subject: Not working
Details: Not working

And that was it...

I also hate the ones that say "ZOMG!!!! Computer not working. I can't log in, can't check my email. I'm using webmail right now, I need this fixed immediately!! I have to schedule time to fellate the President in between meeting with the Russian Prime Minister and startting the Easter Egg Roll on the White House Lawn!! Emergency!! Emergency!!"

Then you spend the next 3 weeks trying to email, call, and stop by their office for this dire emergency. Two things happen:
1. The issue has resolved itself, and the user never followed up to tell you this.
2. The user typed that message heading out the door before going on vacation, followed by a work-related trip.

Support tickets are fun... Never ran into someone who put in a ticket, then was too busy to let you at last follow up on it.
 
2013-02-14 04:38:55 PM  

taurusowner: It's a wallet, not anal beads.


Can't speak for anyone else, but I keep my butt-beads in my wallet.
 
2013-02-14 04:39:32 PM  
I was driving home from college last summer/fall when I saw a truck creeping along the shoulder of the road, going the other way, it was a fairly busy road, and not too wide, so people couldn't really go around him. So I pulled into the parking lot of a sandwich joint some ways behind him, went over, and asked if he needed help. Turns out he did, the shift stick had broken at the base or something, so now it was just flopping around uselessly. So I pushed his truck to a strip mall lot further down.

/csb
 
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