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(Yahoo)   Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Good Samaritan, Sutherlands Hardware Store, no good deed goes unpunished  
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52684 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 4:02 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



300 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2013-02-14 01:28:35 PM  
GREAT linkie thingie, subby!
 
2013-02-14 01:47:46 PM  
The guy owns a detail shop...he might very well make a lot more more than said douche, anyway.
 
2013-02-14 01:57:19 PM  
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Ha ha ha! Good one!
 
2013-02-14 02:37:43 PM  
Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..
 
2013-02-14 03:11:56 PM  
As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.
 
2013-02-14 03:42:34 PM  
About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.
 
2013-02-14 04:03:49 PM  
Yah well one time one of those dirty greeeesy dirt monkeees HUURRRRDERP...
 
2013-02-14 04:05:15 PM  
Did I miss the part where it was in a car that he was cleaning?
 
2013-02-14 04:05:17 PM  
Well, in the douchebag's defense, he DID have to get to the gym in 26 minutes...
 
2013-02-14 04:05:18 PM  

psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.


The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.
 
2013-02-14 04:05:37 PM  

psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.


Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.
 
2013-02-14 04:06:04 PM  
FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton
 
2013-02-14 04:06:50 PM  

whidbey: Yah well one time one of those dirty greeeesy dirt monkeees HUURRRRDERP...


He's a taker.  Definitely.... no suit.  Not bald.
 
2013-02-14 04:07:37 PM  
This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...
 
2013-02-14 04:08:25 PM  
1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future
 
2013-02-14 04:08:29 PM  
I'm glad douche-beard got a swag-bag for his efforts.
 
2013-02-14 04:08:43 PM  

taurusowner: The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.


Eww and/or gross.
 
2013-02-14 04:09:43 PM  

ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.


I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.
 
2013-02-14 04:10:11 PM  
So, did we ever get an answer on whether it was all there?
 
2013-02-14 04:10:32 PM  
But what happened to the $1600 before the douchebag lost sight of it? Was the $2300 well hidden or was the $2500 in plain sight?
 
2013-02-14 04:10:37 PM  

zeldapin: Did I miss the part where it was in a car that he was cleaning?

 
2013-02-14 04:11:22 PM  
I just got a customer ticket for a technical issue.  I swear her description was barely above utter gibberish - random mistyped characters, bizarre punctuation, issue completely unclear.  Instead of communicating through text I called her to offer an online web conference.

"Hi, my name is Diogenes and I'm from X Company Support.  I'm calling to assist with your technical issue."

"Well this better be good.  Because I'm leaving at 4."
 
2013-02-14 04:11:35 PM  
What he doesn't mention is that the envelope originally had $2000.
 
2013-02-14 04:11:45 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


"I am going to get raped by my dealer if it isn't all there" seems more likely, yeah
 
2013-02-14 04:12:09 PM  

oldfarthenry: I'm glad douche-beard got a swag-bag for his efforts.


This has me laughing way harder than it should.
 
2013-02-14 04:12:10 PM  
He should get a job with the TSA. They seem to have problem with their employees not taking the money
 
2013-02-14 04:12:39 PM  
$1200 in an envelope.  Sounds like he owed someone money.  That may be why he reacted like he did.  He was hoping he was going to be able to pay off a debt that he otherwise could not.

More likely, he's just a douche.  But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt when I can.
 
2013-02-14 04:12:48 PM  
Driving through my condo group one day I saw a wallet dead center in the road.  I parked my car and walked over to retrieve the wallet.  Inside was a drivers license with and an address in the group, someone must of put it on top of their car and drove off.  I drove over to the unit and knocked on the door, a woman answered and I handed her the wallet and told her where I found it. She took the wallet, turned and shut the door not a word to me.
 
2013-02-14 04:13:26 PM  

The Muthaship: $1200 in an envelope.  Sounds like he owed someone money.  That may be why he reacted like he did.  He was hoping he was going to be able to pay off a debt that he otherwise could not.

More likely, he's just a douche.  But, I like to give the benefit of the doubt when I can.


I'm think high class hooker for Valentine's Day.
 
2013-02-14 04:13:54 PM  
You know who else had ugly facial hair...
 
2013-02-14 04:13:55 PM  
Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!
 
2013-02-14 04:14:22 PM  
So which is duller: This story, or the bag of hammers the hardware store gave him?
 
2013-02-14 04:14:50 PM  
Even money on the car either being a BMW or a Saab.
 
2013-02-14 04:14:52 PM  
When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.
 
2013-02-14 04:15:13 PM  
If he doesn't have proof its his, dude could've just pulled it back and said "on second thought, I had this in my other pants right before I did the laundry." Not that I would, but that asshole might think differently next time someone tries to return shiat he can't keep track of. Probably at least 40% of people wouldn't have bothered to track the person down.

Of course, whether or not you feel you need that $1200 makes a big difference. I would try to return the money but only because 1200 doesn't seem like a ton of money to me when it might be to someone else (especially the type of person who carries it around in an envelope) whereas if I was $800 away from an eviction I might just thank lady fortune and apologize to the never-to-be-met stranger.
 
2013-02-14 04:15:19 PM  
Osborn hopes that people will learn from his experience, and he says, "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

eh... For the most part, around here everyone has tattoos, beards and looks dirty.

It's the bastards wearing expensive suits and smelling like a Macy's counter display you need to watch out for. Those assholes'll rob you blind. : )
 
2013-02-14 04:15:25 PM  
Wait, wait, I'm sorry, Fark...I'm calling Hitler out and he's not even in the thread.

*musical voice*

Oh HIIIIITTTLerrrrrr, your presence is reQUESTed!
 
2013-02-14 04:15:46 PM  

Mateorocks: Even money on the car either being a BMW or a Saab.


The care is a lie.
 
2013-02-14 04:15:56 PM  

Diogenes: I'm thinking high class hooker for Valentine's Day.


I like how you think.
 
2013-02-14 04:16:21 PM  

The Southern Dandy: Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!


No. Liberals only know how to be kind and generous w

probesport: taurusowner: The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.

Eww and/or gross.


Lol, why is that ew? It's a wallet, not anal beads.
 
2013-02-14 04:16:35 PM  
I was expecting some over-the-top reaction like a surprise punch to the gut or the guy freaking out and waving a hatchet around. "I hope it's all there" is apparently a reaction so shocking and horrible that it merits a news story. Assuming of course that the facebook posting this article is based on is accurate.
 
2013-02-14 04:16:50 PM  

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...


Yeah, sounds like the guy got his panties all bunched up and his feelings hurt.  Or he was looking for a reward, and didn't receive one so he posted a whine online, pointing out how darn NICE he was.  Sometimes when you're a "nice person", to even insinuate something other than you being wonderfully nice is a huge insult.  If the guy had said something like "did you take any" or "how did you get that", then it would be offensive, even though they're valid questions.
 
2013-02-14 04:17:35 PM  
t3.gstatic.com
I didn't touch your dough Neal. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a thief.
 
2013-02-14 04:17:41 PM  
Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB
 
2013-02-14 04:17:52 PM  
I lost a wallet while I was waiting for my ride home from work once. It had about $40 in cash, along with all the rest of the detritus. I'm pretty sure it just fell out of my pocket. I know who took it, since I had the wallet when I walked out of the mall, and didn't have it after getting home. The only possible person could have been the teenage girl who was on the bench next to me.

I only bring it up here because about 6 weeks later, I got the wallet and cards back in the mail, sans cash. It was addressed in feminine handwriting. I always imagine her mom catching her with a stranger's wallet and forcing her to mail it back.
 
2013-02-14 04:17:57 PM  
Stupid new Fark interface.

\Or stupid drunk me
\\Or both
 
2013-02-14 04:18:41 PM  
I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.
 
2013-02-14 04:19:05 PM  

tricycleracer: When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.


Well did you steal it? or was it one of your co-workers?
 
2013-02-14 04:19:43 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


I only use my own toilet paper, and if you have a better place to keep it I'd like to know.
 
2013-02-14 04:19:43 PM  

markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..


Came here to say this.  Did you even read the article, subby?
 
2013-02-14 04:20:03 PM  

borg: tricycleracer: When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.

Well did you steal it? or was it one of your co-workers?


And here is one of the unsung problems of weed prohibition. People can steal your stash, and you have no recourse! Not cool.
 
2013-02-14 04:20:19 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?


WTF? I'm not even that old and I bet I've had an envelope with $1200 or more in it a couple dozen times in my life and it wasn't drug money even once (the drugs I buy are much cheaper than that in the quantities I buy them in if, hypothetically, I have ever purchased drugs). Maybe he was buying a crappy motorcycle off of craigslist, or a decent bicycle, or he had to pay some dudes to take down a couple trees or build a fence or... you get the picture. I think we live in an odd world where having cash makes people suspicious. 100k, sure, that's gonna make me wonder. $1200 though? Not a big deal.
 
2013-02-14 04:21:41 PM  

Mateorocks: Even money on the car either being a BMW or a Saab.


Hummer knock off.

/Wild a$$ guess.
 
2013-02-14 04:21:57 PM  
I would've told him to go Fark himself!
 
2013-02-14 04:22:28 PM  
I do not carry money on me let alone $1200.00 but if I did for some reason I would go directly to where I was going to use that $1200.00
 
2013-02-14 04:23:04 PM  
I am of the opinion that this worthless fluff piece was produced just so subby could f*ck up the headline by misreading the article.
 
2013-02-14 04:23:17 PM  

oldfarthenry: I'm glad douche-beard got a swag-bag for his efforts.


When I lived in SF, I was at Dolores Park with a bunch of friends day drinking during some fest, and I left my spring jacket there. I didn't notice (because it had gotten warm after getting there) until I was almost home. I was pretty mad since I had it for about 10 years, and I loved that jacket. About a month later, someone called me, saying they found it and had been meaning to get in touch with me. Apparently I had some business cards in the inside pocket, so they were easily able to track me down. I was ecstatic. I worked for the tourism industry, I made her a little gift bag full of free tickets and deals and whatnot to say thanks.

/csb1

A few years ago I found a wallet on the ground, and was able to track the person down via Facebook, and got their stuff back to them pretty quickly. I lost my wallet about 2 weeks ago, and never heard anything. Luckily no one tried using my cards while I was trying to hunt it down. It really sucks losing all your stuff at once, especially on a Sunday when the bank is closed.

/csb2
 
2013-02-14 04:24:19 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


meh, it could have just been one of those little envelopes banks put money in. I don't often have that kind of cash on me, but it's not unheard of. But your #2 is certainly valid.
 
2013-02-14 04:24:29 PM  

markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..


I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:31 PM  
I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:38 PM  
What the... I'd be more likely to forget to attach my head to my neck than lose track of an envelope filled with $1200.
 
2013-02-14 04:25:39 PM  

borg: tricycleracer: When I was changing tires in college a customer accused me of stealing a bag of weed from his glove box.

My manager offered to call the police for him so he could report the theft.

Well did you steal it? or was it one of your co-workers?


Wasn't me, didn't hear who if anyone took it.  The guy was high as a kite when he made his accusation.  He may have left his stash in his other Lexus.
 
2013-02-14 04:26:22 PM  
To be fair, that guy had only 25 minutes to go back to making "Welcome to Fark" responses on our Politics Tab...
 
2013-02-14 04:26:48 PM  
We stopped at a gas station to get the kids some snacks half-way through a 700 mile trip to Myrtle Beach S.C.  There was a $100 bill on the ground when I stepped out.  I pocketed it.  We waited for 30 minutes to see if anyone came back looking around then continued on our trip.  When we arrived and I told my in-laws you'd swear I grew horns.  I was supposed to:

#1 Go to the attendant and ask if anyone lost a $100 dollar bill.
#2 If the attendant didn't say something like "Yeah.. that was me" I was supposed to make sure I drop it off at my in-law's church.

Any other response meant that their suspicions were confirmed that I was an evil person and that their grandchildren were indeed being "Raised in a heathen home".
 
2013-02-14 04:27:06 PM  
If I find a wallet with ID, or an envelope with a name/address on it, I'll make a reasonable effort to find the rightful owner. If I find loose money, or a wallet with no identification, it's mine. Hell, anyone could say "Oh, you found a hundred dollars? That's mine. I lost a hundred dollars."

gawker.com

This money is mines!
 
2013-02-14 04:27:07 PM  

Zombie DJ: FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton


For example: this book's subject is represented by an out-of-focus bust in the background. The author, however, is in the foreground and takes up nearly half of the cover, while his name is quite prominent. It's almost as if they expect to sell the book because of the author rather than the material.

www.glennbeck.com
 
2013-02-14 04:27:17 PM  

majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


poc.ramp.com

"Theoretically, people see money on
        the counter and nobody around, they
        think they're being watched."
 
2013-02-14 04:27:33 PM  

majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?
 
2013-02-14 04:27:48 PM  
From TFA:  "...walking around the store to see if he could find anyone who had lost something. He found a man who said he had lost the envelope of cash..."

I'm fairly sure that if I had just lost an envelope of $1200, I would continue on my hardware shopping trip.  I imagine it all went down something like this:

Finder: "Helllooo!  Anyone in the store lose anything... an envelope of cash!!???"

Man: "Why, yes, yes, thank you.  I did lose an envelope of cash.  I'd completely given up hope on finding it, and just came in to find those special curtain rod fasteners this hardware store keeps in stock.  But thank you for finding my envelope of cash."

Finder: "$1200. Is that what you lost?"

Man: "Heh, heh, well, I hope it's all there."
 
2013-02-14 04:28:22 PM  

F1_Fan: markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..

I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.


I gave up a long time ago. I think I've been visiting for 11 or 12 years and haven't submitted a link in 6 or 7 years.
 
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.
 
2013-02-14 04:28:23 PM  

The Southern Dandy: Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!


Small business owner for Obummer...get real!
 
2013-02-14 04:28:49 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Ha ha ha! Good one!


The dirty will only rip you off for what you have on you.
The fancy dressed will rip you off for everything you have.
 
2013-02-14 04:29:33 PM  

F1_Fan: markie_farkie: Where the hell did you get the part about him cleaning the asshole's car,  Subby??

Unless the guy happens to drive the sidewalk in front of a hardware store..

I completely give up submitting links here.  When I do, I read the article, make a funny that matches the facts and submit it.  Never a green light.

Apparently the correct technique is to skim the headline, make shiat up and post without care.


Drew made an FAQ for people just like you.
 
2013-02-14 04:30:02 PM  
Car detailer finds an envelope with $1200 cash in a car he's cleaning and promptly returns it to its rightful owner, whose reaction proves him to be the biggest douchebag imaginable

www.smithandhasslerblog.com

Are you on drugs?
 
2013-02-14 04:30:28 PM  
Reading comprehension much Subby??
 
2013-02-14 04:30:29 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.


So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?
 
2013-02-14 04:30:33 PM  
Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?
 
2013-02-14 04:31:12 PM  
I lost my wallet in an airport a number of years back.  Whomever found it took out enough money to pay for FedEx to overnight it to me.  I thought that was quite nice of them but have no idea who it was.  They might have even had a tattoo and beard.
 
2013-02-14 04:31:16 PM  
OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.
 
2013-02-14 04:31:48 PM  
I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:18 PM  

CheekyMonkey: majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.

So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?


Damnit! THERE.

And no, it was in the cart return area. Like she picked up her items and walked out the door without her purse.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:27 PM  
My good Samaritan CSB:

I'm walking along the beach and this little girl runs up to me, freaking out, and says, "Mister, I know I'm not supposed to talk to strangers but my sister is trapped on a rock and can't get down.  I can't find my parents.  They said they'd never leave me but they're gone!"

Sure enough an even younger girl is sitting on top of a pretty big ocean rock and bawling because she's afraid to climb down.  I climb up, help her down and tell that I'll wait with her until her parents get back.  About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.

I never even got to tell her that it would be a cold day before her kids would ever trust her again.

/CSB
 
2013-02-14 04:32:37 PM  

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...


Did he really even need to count it?

A: Who is going to go to the trouble of returning an empty envelope?

B: If someone stole the money, they'd take it all. It's not like they'd swipe $50, and leave $1150 in the envelope.

ANY comment there is pretty douche-y, with the exception of 'Wow, thanks, I'm glad an honest person found this. I really appreciate it.'. Hell, he didn't even have to give the dude a reward in order to not come across as a douche, he just needed to not make douchebag comments like that.
 
2013-02-14 04:33:01 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


*Raises Hand*

It will depend on if my phone has signal in there, though. If it does, I'll read the news, or browse a site in my favorites. If my phone doesn't have a signal (or it's about to lose battery), I'll use the time to clean out my wallet of old receipts I don't need, business cards that I collect & don't use, old store "rewards cards" with barcodes that I'll transfer to my phone reward card app, etc.. basically just housecleaning. If I'm sitting there, I might as well be productive. :)
 
2013-02-14 04:33:05 PM  

Theaetetus: What he doesn't mention is that the envelope originally had $2000.


HAS ANYONE MENTIONED THAT THERE WAS $3000 IN THE ENVELOPE YET?!
 
2013-02-14 04:33:26 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?


Avoiding all the stereotypical gangbanger clothing is probably enough...
 
2013-02-14 04:33:44 PM  
"Osborn was surprised by what the man said: "I hope it's all there."


YES SIR! IT IS DEFINITELY ALL THERE. YOU ARE CERTAINLY HOLDING TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASH IN YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW. HAVE A GOOD DAY.
 
2013-02-14 04:34:43 PM  

WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.


He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.
 
2013-02-14 04:34:49 PM  
Hmm, do people really look down on "dirty" people?
My life experience has taught me that they're the nicest people you'll meet.

Beware the people in expensive clothing or "thorough" personal appearances.
 
2013-02-14 04:35:59 PM  
I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:38 PM  

taurusowner: Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.


Exactly.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:47 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?



You sound poor.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:53 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


progressforge.com
 
2013-02-14 04:37:13 PM  

psychicdeath99: ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.

I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.


Man, whatever happened to psyichdeath98?
That guy was way nicer.
 
2013-02-14 04:37:16 PM  
My lost wallet CSB:

I lost my wallet on a bike ride on a Sunday afternoon.  Went to work Monday after cancelling all my cars, determined to get a replacement wallet on my lunch break.  I was pulled over driving to work for failing to signal on a lane change, and got three citations ... one for failing to signal, one for no license, and one for no proof of insurance.  All in all, that bike ride cost me north of $800 after all was said and done.

/Fark you, pigs.
 
2013-02-14 04:37:27 PM  
I once left my wallet, containing $900, in a motel room. When I realized it was gone, I turned around, and went back. It was only about an hour, by then the maid had already cleaned the room. That must've been that maid's best day of work ever. Never saw my money again. :(
 
2013-02-14 04:38:39 PM  

Diogenes: I just got a customer ticket for a technical issue.  I swear her description was barely above utter gibberish - random mistyped characters, bizarre punctuation, issue completely unclear.  Instead of communicating through text I called her to offer an online web conference.

"Hi, my name is Diogenes and I'm from X Company Support.  I'm calling to assist with your technical issue."

"Well this better be good.  Because I'm leaving at 4."


My last job, I would get Tech Tickets that said:

Subject: Not working
Details: Not working

And that was it...

I also hate the ones that say "ZOMG!!!! Computer not working. I can't log in, can't check my email. I'm using webmail right now, I need this fixed immediately!! I have to schedule time to fellate the President in between meeting with the Russian Prime Minister and startting the Easter Egg Roll on the White House Lawn!! Emergency!! Emergency!!"

Then you spend the next 3 weeks trying to email, call, and stop by their office for this dire emergency. Two things happen:
1. The issue has resolved itself, and the user never followed up to tell you this.
2. The user typed that message heading out the door before going on vacation, followed by a work-related trip.

Support tickets are fun... Never ran into someone who put in a ticket, then was too busy to let you at last follow up on it.
 
2013-02-14 04:38:55 PM  

taurusowner: It's a wallet, not anal beads.


Can't speak for anyone else, but I keep my butt-beads in my wallet.
 
2013-02-14 04:39:32 PM  
I was driving home from college last summer/fall when I saw a truck creeping along the shoulder of the road, going the other way, it was a fairly busy road, and not too wide, so people couldn't really go around him. So I pulled into the parking lot of a sandwich joint some ways behind him, went over, and asked if he needed help. Turns out he did, the shift stick had broken at the base or something, so now it was just flopping around uselessly. So I pushed his truck to a strip mall lot further down.

/csb
 
2013-02-14 04:40:24 PM  

majestic: CheekyMonkey: majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.

So you scared the crap out of some lady who walked away from her cart for a second?

Damnit! THERE.

And no, it was in the cart return area. Like she picked up her items and walked out the door without her purse.


That makes more sense.

\Every time I see an unattended, purse-containing cart in the supermarket, I think about moving it to the next aisle.  The purse-owner probably wouldn't find it as funny as I, though...
 
2013-02-14 04:41:03 PM  
A few years back, I dropped my wallet in a bar in Boston the night I cashed my paycheck. I went back later that same night, and the bartender handed it to me with some douchey comment, like "Hey man, I didn't steal your money," because it was empty except for the credit cards. I couldn't prove that he stole the money, but someone obviously did. From that day forth, I never return anything that I find on the street. Credit cards, sure. But if it's fungible, (i.e. envelope full of cash), it's mine. Period. And I have no regrets. Karma's a biatch, honey
 
2013-02-14 04:41:18 PM  

hammettman: From TFA:  "...walking around the store to see if he could find anyone who had lost something. He found a man who said he had lost the envelope of cash..."

I'm fairly sure that if I had just lost an envelope of $1200, I would continue on my hardware shopping trip.  I imagine it all went down something like this:

Finder: "Helllooo!  Anyone in the store lose anything... an envelope of cash!!???"

Man: "Why, yes, yes, thank you.  I did lose an envelope of cash.  I'd completely given up hope on finding it, and just came in to find those special curtain rod fasteners this hardware store keeps in stock.  But thank you for finding my envelope of cash."

Finder: "$1200. Is that what you lost?"

Man: "Heh, heh, well, I hope it's all there."


That's what I would have done.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:09 PM  
Considering possession is 9/10ths of the law, I ask all you Fark authorities on everything whether or not the findee could be charged with theft if he just kept on going his merry way considering it his lucky day, maybe donating half the wad to the local food bank to pay karma it's just due.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:17 PM  

Southern100: blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB

*Raises Hand*

It will depend on if my phone has signal in there, though. If it does, I'll read the news, or browse a site in my favorites. If my phone doesn't have a signal (or it's about to lose battery), I'll use the time to clean out my wallet of old receipts I don't need, business cards that I collect & don't use, old store "rewards cards" with barcodes that I'll transfer to my phone reward card app, etc.. basically just housecleaning. If I'm sitting there, I might as well be productive. :)


If you it takes you that long to pinch a loaf at a fast-food restaurant, you should probably hold the cheese and switch to the multi-grain bread.

Just sayin'.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:28 PM  
In the money owner's defense, he also rides a bicycle.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:32 PM  

mongbiohazard: OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.


It probably wasn't really even hers.  She just slammed the door quickly before you realized it.  (The danced around the house for a few hours.)


As far as this story goes, I thought for sure the guy who found the money would wind up arrested.  A simply bit of snark from a duechebag hardly warrants a story like this...
 
2013-02-14 04:43:21 PM  

majestic: I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


I've done similar things when working at restaurants. I hold the thing away from my body, out in the open, as if it were somehow infected, so that everyone can see me hand it off to anybody.

When I waited tables, I'd do something a little different if I found money, since it usually belonged to the other waitstaff, and I didn't trust most of the managers either. I'd hold onto the money and spread the word that I'd found some. People would have to be pretty close on how much they lost, what night they lost it, and roughly what time they had lost it before I'd hand it over. Never got to keep any, but seriously made some coworkers' days that way. One dude was so grateful, I thought he was gonna kiss me...  :-)
 
2013-02-14 04:43:29 PM  
Did the Unlikely tag fall out of someone's pocket?
 
2013-02-14 04:43:40 PM  

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.

csb
favorited
 
2013-02-14 04:44:15 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I once left my wallet, containing $900, in a motel room. When I realized it was gone, I turned around, and went back. It was only about an hour, by then the maid had already cleaned the room. That must've been that maid's best day of work ever. Never saw my money again. :(


Heh, someone stole one of my 24-packs of soda on the elevator to my apartment when I was in college ... I was loading the last few bags of groceries off the elevator on to my apartment floor when the door closed ... waited for it to come back and curiously one of the two cases of soda was missing.

Who the fark steals a $5 case of Pepsi in side of one elevator trip ... seriously? I think it was then that I officially lost hope for humanity.
 
2013-02-14 04:44:33 PM  

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.

 
2013-02-14 04:45:07 PM  
$1200 is not a huge amount of money to carry with you. You don't want to lose it, but there are plenty of legitimate, non-drug-related reasons to have an envelope of cash.

reske.us
 
2013-02-14 04:45:51 PM  
Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi
 
2013-02-14 04:45:55 PM  

calbert: that's how the universe works.


ha! I knew that I shared my story here a few years ago:

Excuse me, sir, you dropped this. Forty years ago

/so either that lends credibility
//or at the least it shows my commitment to the long-game
 
2013-02-14 04:46:26 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?


Uncle Billy was taking it to the bank to deposit it and stuck it inside his newspaper for safekeeping. In the bank lobby old Mister Potter grabbed the paper from Uncle Billy, who didn't realize the envelope was still inside the newspaper.
 
2013-02-14 04:47:08 PM  
ftfa: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

No, it just means that they made poor decisions in life.
 
2013-02-14 04:47:15 PM  

KangTheMad: you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.


dammit

//wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg
 
2013-02-14 04:48:29 PM  

Wellon Dowd: SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

Uncle Billy was taking it to the bank to deposit it and stuck it inside his newspaper for safekeeping. In the bank lobby old Mister Potter grabbed the paper from Uncle Billy, who didn't realize the envelope was still inside the newspaper.


Hilarity ensues.
 
2013-02-14 04:48:31 PM  
A couple of years ago, I found an IRS federal income refund check on the ground.  Only about $600, but it was endorsed and everything.   I could easily have cashed it with no questions asked.

Instead, I walked directly to security booth I had just passed, handed it to the guard and said, "I don't want anything to do with this.  Please find the owner."

Mind you, check fraud is a felony.  And if it's a federal check, that makes it even worse.
 
2013-02-14 04:49:11 PM  

weirdneighbour: Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi


Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides money
 
2013-02-14 04:50:44 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


1) It was Dave Ramsey.
2) That's what guardian angels are for.
 
2013-02-14 04:50:46 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


Well, I can see someone doing this if it's sucha fat wallet that it doesn't fit in the pocket very well and tends to fall out onto the shiat stained floor when your pants are hanging around your ankles. Also, I don't actually carry my wallet in my back pocket anymore, and have set it down in weird places, rather than have it fall out of my jacket pocket. Never forgotten it, though.
 
2013-02-14 04:50:50 PM  

blatz514: Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip. Went to use the bathroom and do my business. There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser. I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?


Wan't that the plot of a Jim Belushi movie? I can't remember where he found Charles Grodin's wallet.
 
2013-02-14 04:51:16 PM  
Whenever I'm looking around for something and someone asks, "Did you lose something?"--my stock answer is now going to be: "An envelope full of money." (It's either that or I'll just keep using the answer I use now: "A baggie full of weed.")
 
2013-02-14 04:51:28 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: psychicdeath99: ds394: psychicdeath99: About a year ago, my wallet fell out of my pocket as I got out of my car. About an hour later a little old lady from an apartment downstairs knocked on my door and gave me the wallet.

I looked through it and saw that the little bit of money, but more importantly my driver's license, credit cards, etc. were still there. I thanked her and commented that I was happy nothing was taken, and then had to reassure the little old lady that I wasn't accusing her of anything. My thought was that someone else could have seen it first, emptied it, and then tossed it back down for her to find.

Soo... you kind of come across as a bit of a douche, don't cha?

The point being, the first thing you say is "Thank you so much!" before you start checking for your goodies.

/I'm assuming you didn't say "thank you" right away because that's the way you told your CSB.

I am capable of saying thank you and looking through a wallet at the same time.  I didn't even know I had dropped my wallet, so I had to look through it to see if it was in fact mine.

Man, whatever happened to psyichdeath98?
That guy was way nicer.


He's doing five to ten in the state prison for purse snatching and typos.
 
2013-02-14 04:51:57 PM  
Where are all the stories like:

Whenever I walk into restaurants, I find money on the tables all the time.  I don't know why people so easily lose money there.

Or

This one time at church, they were just passing around a basket for people to take money from.  That must have been a really rich church.
 
2013-02-14 04:52:32 PM  

sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.


What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.
 
2013-02-14 04:53:16 PM  
My great grandfather found a wallet on the street in Austria many years ago.  He looked at the ID, and saw that the man was a painter who lived nearby.  Grandpa was shocked when he went to return the wallet and was accused of stealing the money that had been in it.  The painter flew into such a rage that he slapped the yarmulke off of Grampa's head and chased him down the street spewing anti-semitic insults at him.
 
2013-02-14 04:53:52 PM  

durbnpoisn: A couple of years ago, I found an IRS federal income refund check on the ground.  Only about $600, but it was endorsed and everything.   I could easily have cashed it with no questions asked.

Instead, I walked directly to security booth I had just passed, handed it to the guard and said, "I don't want anything to do with this.  Please find the owner."

Mind you, check fraud is a felony.  And if it's a federal check, that makes it even worse.


I just found (last night), a social security card in a book that my prof. handed out to us. Someone must have had used it as a bookmark.

My question is WHY???

//reported it to the prof, gave her the name
///going to mail it to the social security PO box address on the back
 
2013-02-14 04:54:40 PM  
 Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi

Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides mone
 
2013-02-14 04:55:10 PM  
Lost a wallet once.  Actually it was in the pocket of my motorcycle jacket and the jacket got stolen.  2 or 3 weeks later there's a knock on my door at midnight or 1 AM.  It's the cops, they found my drivers license, credit cards etc scattered all over the road a few miles away.  Although I had already called and cancelled everything and had a new DL on the way I thanked them and we stood out in the carport just talking for 5 minutes or so.  Finally one of them said "Well Zul, we gotta go.  We're on our way to a burglary in progress down the street".

/Thx for my cancelled credit cards, but I'd really rather you go catch my damn burglar.
//csb
 
2013-02-14 04:57:09 PM  

downtownkid: My great grandfather found a wallet on the street in Austria many years ago.  He looked at the ID, and saw that the man was a painter who lived nearby.  Grandpa was shocked when he went to return the wallet and was accused of stealing the money that had been in it.  The painter flew into such a rage that he slapped the yarmulke off of Grampa's head and chased him down the street spewing anti-semitic insults at him.


Grandpa stole the money, didn't he?
 
2013-02-14 04:57:37 PM  
I wouldn't have given it back because anyone who carries cash around in an envelope is a moron and deserves to lose it. You simply wrap it around your driver's license and credit cards with a rubber band to hold it in place. And keep the big bills on the outside.
pandodaily.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-14 04:58:15 PM  

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.

 
   Agreed. Who gives a shiat what the owner says when you follow your conscience and give them their property back. Is she the one looking back at you when you face the mirror?

  Fark her, you should have prepared for the possibility that people can be selfish coonts and pissed on her doorstep before you left.
 
2013-02-14 04:59:51 PM  
I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.
 
2013-02-14 05:01:36 PM  

taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.



So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.
 
2013-02-14 05:03:22 PM  
 Just before Christmas last year I found a purse in a plastic bag behind a variety store, the purse was stuffed with the womans wallet and  I.D. of all sorts (drivers license, health card, two or three credit cards, birth cert.) in fact I got the ladys phone number from of one of her cheques from her chequebook. Turns out she only lived a couple blocks away, so I called then went to drop the purse off, she was very happy to see me, immediately thanked me and thrust $20 towards me, I said "no no thats ok, thats not why I returned it" but she would have none of it, I am backing up with my palms up going " no no" she is walking towards me 20 bucks extended saying "yes yes" , was getting ridicules so I just took the twenty.

/why was I behind variety store? long walk, short bladder. tmi

Was she hot?

\There are other rewards besides money


preview, how does it work

 She may have been hot few decades ago, now, not so much.
 
2013-02-14 05:03:24 PM  

Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.


I think you mean your mom.  You went to live with your aunt in California.

God, get it right.
 
2013-02-14 05:04:59 PM  

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.


The lesson is "take the cash, wipe off your fingerprints, throw it on their porch, run."

/Be thankful you didn't have to cancel your credit cards and pay for a new driver license
 
2013-02-14 05:05:09 PM  

durbnpoisn: It probably wasn't really even hers. She just slammed the door quickly before you realized it. (The danced around the house for a few hours.)


All the more reason to thank me politely and not be a jerk about it.
 
2013-02-14 05:05:37 PM  

robohobo: blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB

[progressforge.com image 483x360]


Lulz.  Good episode and I get what you're saying, but my pants are usually around my ankles while crapping.  Not sure how a fat wallet would get in the way being down on the floor.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:17 PM  
The envelope was dropped on purpose, dumbass
 
2013-02-14 05:06:29 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.

I think you mean your mom.  You went to live with your aunt in California.

God, get it right.


Oops.

Oh well.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:48 PM  
When I was in high school, I had a job working at a gas station.  One morning a Camaro driven by a 30-ish woman dressed(badly) like a secretary drove into the station.  I could see there was something dragging under the car when it drove in.  She drove up to me and through the window said,  "It sounds like something is dragging under my car, the noise started this morning."  I could she was wearing one of those oversized trench coats with the big wrap-around belt.  Yup, you guessed it,  she got into the car and closed the door with the buckle end of the belt hanging outside of the car.    The buckle was dragging along, and bouncing up and down against the rocker panel.  I told her to open the door.  When she opened the door,  I picked up the belt, which was worse for wear, and said, "This is what's dragging".  I didn't make fun.  I didn't say it in a snarky kind of way.  it was said as a matter of fact.  She grabbed the belt out of my hands, slammed the door and called me an asshole before driving off.   Experiences like that are what turn young kids into cynics.
 
2013-02-14 05:06:54 PM  

BigNumber12: Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?


Yeah. People who actually work for a living. For instance, myself. I'm a  newspaper pressman. After a two week vacation, I may finally have dug all the ink out of my ears, fingernails, and scrubbed it out of my palms and knees.

/Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.
 
2013-02-14 05:07:32 PM  
My wife was turning in a lost cellphone to a Walgreens once, even called one of the numbers in the phone so they could tell the owner where they could pick it up. The phone promptly rings back, and the owner made all kinds of threats if she didn't bring the phone to him across town right away. She said well shiat, I'll just throw it back in the parking lot! ..or you can be farkin thankful and pick it up at Walgreens. He opted for Walgreens.
 
2013-02-14 05:07:36 PM  
My two favorite found money CSBs

1: Wading around in the Flordia gulf when I feel something brush my hand. Instinctively I grab it, because it could be seaweed, it could be a big-ass man-o-war. Either way I found something interesting. Turns out it was a crisp (well now soggy) new 20. Just floating along with the currents. Sadly it wasn't part of a school.

2: At a gunshow. Had to use the bathrooms. As anyone who has been to a gunshow can tell you, the bathrooms are pissy free-for-alls were the toilets are more of a suggestion. I see a wad of bills on the floor. Now I am no stranger to Poo_Dollar, and I don't need a couple of 1s that bad. But wait, what's that in the middle? That larger white boarder....is that...it is! a 20! And a 5 to go with it. But did the 1s provide enough of a barrier? Gently I grab the 25 bucks by the edge and shake off the pissy 1s, I carefully test the dollar for urine content (I eyeball it) and make the determination that the four sacrificial singles did a good enough job keeping the piss off. Still to be safe, I stuck them in a cargo pocket and used them there so I wouldn't have to take them home. Later I wondered about the now extra pissy 4 singles laying on the floor and wondered if anyone would take them. I went back 20 minutes later and they were gone, of course.
 
2013-02-14 05:09:06 PM  

lordjupiter: taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.


So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.


Nice strawman. Try reading what I said next time.

You see a guy wearing an Ohio State hat, shirt, and has red and white paint on his face. He's a U of M fan right?
You see a guy with long hair, spiked wrist bands, eye shadow, baggy black pants, and a Godsmack shirt. He's on his way to a Nicki Minaj show right?

Sorry, but you can tell a lot about people by the way they dress and present themselves. Your style and clothing is your choice. You picked it all for a reason. It says something about you. That's why you picked it. You wear a suit to an interview. You wear a sports team shirt to a game. Band shirts to concerts. Jeans and a t shirt to hang out. Whatever it is, your appearance is the way it is for a reason. Your reason. And people can read into it if they want. Most of the time they're right.
 
2013-02-14 05:09:37 PM  
"Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

I usually go with probability on this one.
 
2013-02-14 05:11:48 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I'm a newspaper pressman


What's a "newspaper"?
 
2013-02-14 05:13:26 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I'm a newspaper pressman

What's a "newspaper"?


I think  it's that paper covering for the exam tables used in doctor offices
 
2013-02-14 05:13:52 PM  

Mikey1969: My last job, I would get Tech Tickets that said:

Subject: Not working
Details: Not working


We get many of those.  And then they gripe when was ask for details, logs, etc.

I got one last week that just had a screen shot.  No error.  Nothing obviously wrong.  No notes, no highlights, nothing.  I felt like I was playing one of those "find the things that are wrong with this picture" games.

Which I normally enjoy.  When I don't have farking work to do.

/threadjack
 
2013-02-14 05:14:26 PM  
They goodness for the internet and personal blogging/twitt/??...
Or else the world would never have known that this dude got his panties in a wad about not receiving the gracious grattitude he thought he was due!!
Who gives a F***!!!!
 
2013-02-14 05:14:48 PM  
So the moral of the thread is, if you do something and you aren't immediately rewarded in kind by some asshole, that makes everyone an asshole and you shouldn't bother Doing the Right Thing, and in fact you should perpetuate the shiattyness out of a strange sense of karmic justice.

Who cares if they don't thank you? It would bother me knowing that I did the sort of thing that would piss me off if I saw someone doing it to me. And, amazingly, I still feel this way even when someone HAS done that thing to me in the past. It's almost like one person doesn't represent everyone else. Do unto others and all that.

/not religious, even though many consider that a requisite for a conscience
 
2013-02-14 05:15:43 PM  
I've found wallets a few times in my life. I always turn then into lost and found, but consider the missing cash my way of incentivizing you ti keep track of your things.
 
2013-02-14 05:17:45 PM  

KangTheMad: Sin_City_Superhero: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I'm a newspaper pressman

What's a "newspaper"?

I think  it's that paper covering for the exam tables used in doctor offices


No, it's a delivery system for coupons those extreme couponers use.
 
2013-02-14 05:20:44 PM  

numbone: Just wish I had half the money that I have lost.

[www.forextv.com image 397x599]


I wouldn't say that you lost it, Bob.
 
2013-02-14 05:20:50 PM  

Yuri Futanari: I've got a CSB about how my life got completely changed by a stolen wallet.  It was in west Philly on a basketball court where I was shooting with some friends.  There was a wallet sitting by the side of the court and when I went to pick it up, some guys who were obviously up to no good came by and started making trouble.  They said that was their wallet when it obviously wasn't, and when we refused to give it up we got into a huge brawl.  At one point one of the big ones picked me up and spun me around like I was nothing, it was absolutely crazy.

Well because of this my aunt, who I was living with, freaked out.  She sent me to live with some relatives in California.  My entire life, flipped-turned upside down, because of some stupid wallet.


userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-02-14 05:21:04 PM  

wxboy: As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.


It's hard to imagine what the other side of this story possibly could have been.

No matter what is going on with the other person, the correct response is always "Thank you." Nobody says the finder deserves more than simple gratitude for returning one's property, but your Weeners should not be "There better not be anything missing."

And if you are the finder, your expectation should not be more than a simple "Thank you." If your expectation for doing a simple polite deed is some kind of reward, then you should become a bounty hunter. The correct response is, "You're welcome."
 
2013-02-14 05:21:31 PM  
If I didn't know until reading the comments why this was rude, am I now rude by proxy or just prone?
 
2013-02-14 05:22:41 PM  
I once found a wallet; it was right where I left it.
 
2013-02-14 05:22:50 PM  

wademh: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What lesson did you learn? Did you need a cookie for doing the right thing?
Be an adult.


I learned that next time, the person can come to my house, instead of me being inconvenienced, using my own gas, and unappreciated.  See, that's being a reasonable adult.
 
2013-02-14 05:22:56 PM  

Zombie DJ: FTFA: "Never judge a book by its cover."

"You can't judge a book by its cover? Yes you can! That's why books have them!"
- Jim Norton


True. If you judge books by their covers, you'll be right way more often than not.
 
2013-02-14 05:24:28 PM  

WayneKerr: I once found a wallet; it was right where I left it.


I guess you were right in where you left it.
 
2013-02-14 05:25:23 PM  
Actually, the person with $1,200 cash who loses it is almost ALWAYS the douchebag, regardless of appearance.
 
2013-02-14 05:25:44 PM  
I found a wallet and by doing some detective work via Facebook and Linkedin managed to track the girl down. Made arrangements to meet that evening outside of a cafe to give it back. She was incredibly thankful and gracious and didn't think twice that I may have taken anything. I even said "it looks like everything is still there, cards, ID, etc but I didn't know how much cash you had in the first place." She said "I don't even care about the cash, just glad to get it back."

No, we didn't bang afterward, but that would be a CSB.
 
2013-02-14 05:26:03 PM  
Heh, Sin_City_Superhero, KangTheMad, and jst3p, I'd have clicked the "Smart" button on your posts, if it only had three more letters, "A-S-S" :)
 
2013-02-14 05:26:46 PM  

you are a puppet: I found a wallet once on the curb while jogging, and I flip it open and see only the drivers license. Didn't look to see what else was in it. The address was close to the number of the mailbox in my line of vision, so I just walked down and rang the doorbell. Guy answers, same face on the license, I tell him I found his wallet 8 houses down on the curb and he flips it open and in a panic tells me the cash is missing, where's the $300. I tell him I didn't even look in it and he calls me a liar, says nobody would just not look, says to give him his money back. He grabs the collar of my shirt and I instinctively charge him, inside his house, ramming his head into the wall. I fall backwards from the impact, and when I look up the dude is motionless. I drove his skull against some sort of hook apparently, must have gone straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed his wallet and got the fark out of there. I look in it when I get home and crazy thing is, the $300 is still in there. Used it to buy a ps3.



Happens more often than you might think. I bet that guy wont ever lose his wallet again.
 
2013-02-14 05:29:06 PM  
taurusowner: Band shirts to concerts.

You're wearing that shirt?  You're wearing the shirt, of the band your going to see, at their concert?  Don't be that guy!

/Gutter is a tool!
 
2013-02-14 05:29:49 PM  
When in high school my buddy found a purse at taco bell. He cleaned out all the cash and left her purse in her driveway that night.

We ate a lot of taco bell that week.
 
2013-02-14 05:30:27 PM  

Gyrfalcon: wxboy: As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.

It's hard to imagine what the other side of this story possibly could have been.

No matter what is going on with the other person, the correct response is always "Thank you." Nobody says the finder deserves more than simple gratitude for returning one's property, but your Weeners should not be "There better not be anything missing."

And if you are the finder, your expectation should not be more than a simple "Thank you." If your expectation for doing a simple polite deed is some kind of reward, then you should become a bounty hunter. The correct response is, "You're welcome."


OWNED!
 
2013-02-14 05:30:29 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Heh, Sin_City_Superhero, KangTheMad, and jst3p, I'd have clicked the "Smart" button on your posts, if it only had three more letters, "A-S-S" :)


You could throw out a TF sponsorship.

//shameless plug
///well...nearly shameless
 
2013-02-14 05:31:47 PM  
I'm walking through Costco last month, and as one of the employees with a broom walks by, he quietly/clearly says my first name. I'm shocked and turn my head, but figure it's nothing.
He walks by me a few seconds later and again, clearly, I hear my first name. Weird.
Happens a third time, since I'm now standing still at a clothing table to see how this plays out. Why do I keep hearing my name?

He walks by and I clearly hear my entire name - first and last. No question. I look right at him...
He says, "Are you..." and I nod, trying to figure out where I've met this guy before...

He smiles and holds up my Amex card (with my name on it) that had fallen out of my pocket onto the Costco floor.

Thanks, dude. You're way cool.
 
2013-02-14 05:31:56 PM  
"I hope it's all there" is not "I hope you didn't steal any of it."  The former would be the first thought to cross anyone's mind.

Props to detailer for figuring out how to get swag for his honesty.
 
2013-02-14 05:32:01 PM  

I_C_Weener: So, did we ever get an answer on whether it was all there?


Why would someone take part of it? Was it marked "Need a hundred, take a hundred / Have a hundred, leave a hundred?"
 
2013-02-14 05:32:47 PM  

Gyrfalcon: wxboy: As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.

It's hard to imagine what the other side of this story possibly could have been.

No matter what is going on with the other person, the correct response is always "Thank you." Nobody says the finder deserves more than simple gratitude for returning one's property, but your Weeners should not be "There better not be anything missing."

And if you are the finder, your expectation should not be more than a simple "Thank you." If your expectation for doing a simple polite deed is some kind of reward, then you should become a bounty hunter. The correct response is, "You're welcome."


Maybe the person who lost the money did say "thank you". Maybe his comment about hoping all the money was in there was not meant to be an insult, but rather a statement of fact. If you had lost cash and someone returned the envelope that was holding it, wouldn't you hope all the cash was in there? But then the finder may have felt slighted because he wasn't given a reward, so he goes on Facebook and made up a little story to stir up reaction.

I'm certainly not saying that this is what happened, but it shouldn't be difficult for anyone to imagine that this could happen. People make up stories all the time to try to elicit an emotional response.
 
2013-02-14 05:33:13 PM  
I would have hoped it was all there also.
 
2013-02-14 05:33:34 PM  
My last CSB.

I was leaving a bar last night and saw $20 sitting in the automated ATM machine.

score. board.

/I've heard never do ATM
 
2013-02-14 05:35:18 PM  
And this is news how?
 
2013-02-14 05:35:37 PM  

KangTheMad: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Heh, Sin_City_Superhero, KangTheMad, and jst3p, I'd have clicked the "Smart" button on your posts, if it only had three more letters, "A-S-S" :)

You could throw out a TF sponsorship.

//shameless plug
///well...nearly shameless


Heh, if steamships were a dime, all I could do is run up and down the shoreline, shouting "Gee, ain't that CHEAP?"
 
2013-02-14 05:39:38 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: KangTheMad: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Heh, Sin_City_Superhero, KangTheMad, and jst3p, I'd have clicked the "Smart" button on your posts, if it only had three more letters, "A-S-S" :)

You could throw out a TF sponsorship.

//shameless plug
///well...nearly shameless

Heh, if steamships were a dime, all I could do is run up and down the shoreline, shouting "Gee, ain't that CHEAP?"


Huh, never heard that one before
 
2013-02-14 05:39:43 PM  

DownDaRiver: They goodness for the internet and personal blogging/twitt/??...
Or else the world would never have known that this dude got his panties in a wad about not receiving the gracious grattitude he thought he was due!!
Who gives a F***!!!!


"Thank you" isn't too much to ask for. Please make sure to sign all envelopes of money you may carry around, so everyone will know who out there is too much of a prick to even bother giving the money back to.
 
2013-02-14 05:42:16 PM  
Reminds me of this one time I hear a knock at my door. I answer it and this tweaker is standing there. He was in pretty bad shape, fidgeting and clawing at his arm, looked like he hadn't eaten in a week. Anyway he tries to hand me a pine cone and says "Hey man, I found your wallet". I start to explain to him that I wasn't missing my wallet and he was holding a pine cone, guy was tripping balls. Then all of the sudden he screams at me "HEY ASSHOLE! I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR MONEY!!!" and rushes me.

Now the guy weighs a buck and a quarter soaking wet but I wasn't ready for it and I tripped and fell backwards. Then the punk says, "Oh shiat! I killed him! I gotta get the fark outa here!", grabs the pine cone and takes off. Weirdest thing I ever saw. Then I went out and bought a PS3.
 
2013-02-14 05:42:45 PM  

sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.


What were you expecting? A blowjob?
 
2013-02-14 05:43:59 PM  
Two weekends ago my wife asked me to drive to a small town about two hours from where we live so she could buy something being sold on Craigslist. Everything was going great, we got what we came for and drove back towards home for 45 minutes, where we stopped to take our kid to a childrens' activity center.

That's when my wife realized that she left our kid's shoes on the roof of the car. Oh, and her wallet, too.

We drove back another 45 minutes and spent about an hour retracing our steps. She went off of ask people if they'd seen anything. I drove over the rural roads we'd taken, hazards on, 15mph, scanning for shoes and wallet. When I met back up with my wife she said that someone had seen a pick-up truck stop at the intersection and somoene got out and picked something up from the street, then drove away.

In my mind I imagined some hick, chuckling over my daughter's little shoes, tossing them out the window, then rifling through my wife's wallet to scoff at the Legal Resident card and foreign currency/credit cards.

Finally we gave up and started heading back to the highway. I was still driving slowly on the shoulder, when I glanced up and saw a pick-up stopped on the other side of the road, the driver flagging us down from the open window.

It turns out that we just coincendentally were passing them as they returned home (it was almost three hours later). They saw us searching the road and figured the wallet and shoes they'd found must be ours.

I was so surprised and happy that I just couldn't believe what had happened. I felt bad for assuming the worst.
 
2013-02-14 05:44:30 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Gyrfalcon: wxboy: As always in these things, we only have one side's story, which we usually accept at face value as absolute, complete truth.

It's hard to imagine what the other side of this story possibly could have been.

No matter what is going on with the other person, the correct response is always "Thank you." Nobody says the finder deserves more than simple gratitude for returning one's property, but your Weeners should not be "There better not be anything missing."

And if you are the finder, your expectation should not be more than a simple "Thank you." If your expectation for doing a simple polite deed is some kind of reward, then you should become a bounty hunter. The correct response is, "You're welcome."

Maybe the person who lost the money did say "thank you". Maybe his comment about hoping all the money was in there was not meant to be an insult, but rather a statement of fact. If you had lost cash and someone returned the envelope that was holding it, wouldn't you hope all the cash was in there? But then the finder may have felt slighted because he wasn't given a reward, so he goes on Facebook and made up a little story to stir up reaction.

I'm certainly not saying that this is what happened, but it shouldn't be difficult for anyone to imagine that this could happen. People make up stories all the time to try to elicit an emotional response.


Well, certainly. Perhaps I'm just politer than most people. I don't think I'd say "I hope all the money is still there" to the person who found it. I'd be glad enough to get any cash back, if I'd dropped that much.

People on both sides of these kinds of exchanges expect too much, is all I'm saying.
 
2013-02-14 05:45:08 PM  
I don't care what anyone thinks but, if I found an envelope with "any" cash in it and no ID, it's mine.

/finders keepers.
 
2013-02-14 05:45:22 PM  
I was in line at 7/11 and noticed a wallet on the counter I pointed to it and said to the guy in front of me, "I think that may be your wallet" (I never touched it) he quickly grabbed it and looked inside and rudely said "wheres my money" and I said "take a look at your hand". Yes I believe alcohol was involved.
 
2013-02-14 05:46:06 PM  

CommiePuddin: Well, in the douchebag's defense, he DID have to get to the gym in 26 minutes...


+1

/ I would expect J.F.Page to react this way, if this happened to him...
 
2013-02-14 05:47:52 PM  
On two separate occasions, i have found a wallet and a purse, both times in a parking lot. In each case I took a little initiative and tracked down the people, and returned their stuff.

The guy with the wallet managed to choke out a thank you, just barely before he grabbed the wallet and slammed the car door. The woman grabbed the purse from me like I had stolen it, make a big show of looking through it to make sure everything was there, and walked away without saying a word.

Not sure I will "notice" the next wallet laying on the ground. People are farking amazing.
 
2013-02-14 05:48:02 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


How else am I supposed to get out the $100s that I wipe my ass with?

If you have a better method, I'm all ears.
 
2013-02-14 05:48:14 PM  

Tony_Pepperoni: I don't care what anyone thinks but, if I found an envelope with "any" cash in it and no ID, it's mine.

/finders keepers.


I used to think that way when I was younger and broke. Right now if I found a couple hundred buck I would imagine it is probably a lot more money to that person than it is to me and I would try and find an owner if it is reasonable.
 
2013-02-14 05:48:14 PM  
My buddy and I found a wallet one time at the base run "Little Oktoberfest" in Munich while we were working morning clean up. I think we were 10 or 11 at the time. The guy running the beer tent looked at the ID and said it was some drunk English guy who got so hammered the night before he had to have his friends carry him out of the tent. He told us to take it to our parents to get it returned. When we looked inside there was over a thousand marks in it. All sorts of schemes and plots were tossed around as we walked back to our apartments, but in the end we of course took the wallet to my dad and he managed to get in contact with the owner and had it mailed back to him. A month or so later my friend and I each got a letter from the guy explaining how he had slipped in the wet grass and must've lost his wallet. He thanked up for our honesty and gave us each a hundred marks. Bought a skateboard, a few dozen boxes of ladyfinger fireworks and enough Haribo gummies to feed an army.
/CSB 1

I found a wad of cash at my work a few years ago. Didn't even look to see how much it was, I just did the "diseased object" walk mentioned above straight to the security desk and turned it in. A few weeks later I must've left my locker parially opened and someone bent the door over to get at my wallet and steal 60 bucks from me. Karma missed me that day.
/CSB 2
 
2013-02-14 05:48:20 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
"Go ahead. Count it. It's all there."
 
2013-02-14 05:48:28 PM  

taurusowner: lordjupiter: taurusowner: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

He's right it doesn't mean that. But people aren't right for thinking it. Something I heard a while back stuck with me.

"If you go out of your way to present yourself as different from everyone else, don't be surprised when people treat you differently than everyone else".

Image and style are 100% personal choices. And everyone who dresses or styles themselves a certain way knows exactly how people view that style. Don't blame others for how they react to your choices.


So different is automatically bad.  Dirty means untrustworthy instead of, say, blue collar and still dirty from WORK.

People who make incorrect judments about other people based on superficialities are the ones with a problem.  There is no template for "good people" and how they dress or groom.  You may THINK there is, but there isn't.

Nice strawman. Try reading what I said next time.

You see a guy wearing an Ohio State hat, shirt, and has red and white paint on his face. He's a U of M fan right?
You see a guy with long hair, spiked wrist bands, eye shadow, baggy black pants, and a Godsmack shirt. He's on his way to a Nicki Minaj show right?

Sorry, but you can tell a lot about people by the way they dress and present themselves. Your style and clothing is your choice. You picked it all for a reason. It says something about you. That's why you picked it. You wear a suit to an interview. You wear a sports team shirt to a game. Band shirts to concerts. Jeans and a t shirt to hang out. Whatever it is, your appearance is the way it is for a reason. Your r ...


Talk about strawmen.  The point was whether someone who's dirty, bearded and has tattoos is untrustworthy, not whether or not you can divine any information at all from what someone wears (like a university sweatshirt).

You're talking about INTERESTS and CONTEXT, we're talking about judging someone's CHARACTER being judged in the CONTEXT of doing a good deed, just because he's dirty/bearded/tattoo'd.

Take your own advice and read what people write.  And maybe think about it.
 
2013-02-14 05:49:41 PM  
There is another possible explanation to his reaction.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-14 05:49:57 PM  
Dirty (check)
Tattoos (check)
Missing Teeth

Douchie had the correct response:
You aint from around these parts, are yew? Yew one of them hipster hippies comin' down here and taking all the good detailiin' jewbs? This here wouldn't be happinin' if Romney got inta the White House! Youse probaby replaced all my money that I got fer my infirmity with Obamadollars!
 
2013-02-14 05:51:46 PM  

Mikey1969: DownDaRiver: They goodness for the internet and personal blogging/twitt/??...
Or else the world would never have known that this dude got his panties in a wad about not receiving the gracious grattitude he thought he was due!!
Who gives a F***!!!!

"Thank you" isn't too much to ask for. Please make sure to sign all envelopes of money you may carry around, so everyone will know who out there is too much of a prick to even bother giving the money back to.


I didn't say that the guy who lost the money wasn't a dick for not being more appreciative by saying a simple 'Thank You'.
I just said that who gives a F***!!
 
2013-02-14 05:53:02 PM  

Ohlookabutterfly: Considering possession is 9/10ths of the law, I ask all you Fark authorities on everything whether or not the findee could be charged with theft if he just kept on going his merry way considering it his lucky day, maybe donating half the wad to the local food bank to pay karma it's just due.


Yes, taking stuff that is not yours is illegal in most everywhere.
 
2013-02-14 05:53:46 PM  
CSB#1: Many years ago, went to video store (yeah, that long ago) and rented a tape. Left my wallet on the counter by accident. Drove home (5 minutes) reached for wallet, which is gone, go back to store, wallet is missing. Drove home, called banks and credit card companies to cancel everything. Called one cc company and the person said "Oh, that's interesting...someone just tried to buy a $500 leather jacket at Berman's at Southdale and the card was rejected." (I had about $100 credit left on the card). So, because of the thief's greed, I didn't lose a dime. Victory = mine

CSB#2 (not a happy ending). Labor Day about 20 years ago. At a crowded park (Minnehaha Falls) around noon...tons of people in the park. Had my briefcase in the back seat (locked car and it was a beater to begin with) which had my personal and business checkbooks in them (both full of new checks). Locked car, walked dog, came back and smash and grab thieves had broken back window and snatched briefcase. Remember, this was in the parking lot of a crowded park at noon on Labor Day (and it was gorgeous that day). Now, in just that one day, a holiday, the thief/thieves were able to cash/use 48 CHECKS by driving up and down the Mississippi and never buying more than $40 worth of shiat (probably safer to buy only small amounts of stuff) at various gas stations or convenience stores (SuperAmerica, Holiday, Kwik Trip)...total of the checks written and cashed = $900.00 or so. Not one check was for the same amount: $25.17, $36.93, etc. Probably bought a shialtload of smokes, beer, food, who knows what. I had to fill out and sign an individual affidavit for EACH FREAKIN' STOLEN CHECK that was passed. I got a "stolen check" alert every time I tried to write a check for groceries the next 2 years, even though I had a new account number due to my name. Victory = thief
 
2013-02-14 05:54:24 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


You don't keep you wallet jammed up your arse? Weird...
 
2013-02-14 05:58:39 PM  

taurusowner: The Southern Dandy: Here I go...I'm gonna prejudge two people by the content of their character...

The car detailer voted for Obama.
The money loser voted for Romney.

Bet!

No. Liberals only know how to be kind and generous wprobesport: taurusowner: The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.

Eww and/or gross.

Lol, why is that ew? It's a wallet, not anal beads.


The guy was the owner of a detailing shop.  Probably a Romney voter.  He built that.

The wallet would have probably been about 3 inches from the anal beads, depending on when both were in play.
 
2013-02-14 05:59:26 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: Mateorocks: Even money on the car either being a BMW or a Saab.

Hummer knock off.

/Wild a$$ guess.


Probably has a Romney/Ryan bumper sticker on it.
 
2013-02-14 06:01:17 PM  

BrianGriffin: CSB#1: Many years ago, went to video store (yeah, that long ago) and rented a tape. Left my wallet on the counter by accident. Drove home (5 minutes) reached for wallet, which is gone, go back to store, wallet is missing. Drove home, called banks and credit card companies to cancel everything. Called one cc company and the person said "Oh, that's interesting...someone just tried to buy a $500 leather jacket at Berman's at Southdale and the card was rejected." (I had about $100 credit left on the card). So, because of the thief's greed, I didn't lose a dime. Victory = mine

CSB#2 (not a happy ending). Labor Day about 20 years ago. At a crowded park (Minnehaha Falls) around noon...tons of people in the park. Had my briefcase in the back seat (locked car and it was a beater to begin with) which had my personal and business checkbooks in them (both full of new checks). Locked car, walked dog, came back and smash and grab thieves had broken back window and snatched briefcase. Remember, this was in the parking lot of a crowded park at noon on Labor Day (and it was gorgeous that day). Now, in just that one day, a holiday, the thief/thieves were able to cash/use 48 CHECKS by driving up and down the Mississippi and never buying more than $40 worth of shiat (probably safer to buy only small amounts of stuff) at various gas stations or convenience stores (SuperAmerica, Holiday, Kwik Trip)...total of the checks written and cashed = $900.00 or so. Not one check was for the same amount: $25.17, $36.93, etc. Probably bought a shialtload of smokes, beer, food, who knows what. I had to fill out and sign an individual affidavit for EACH FREAKIN' STOLEN CHECK that was passed. I got a "stolen check" alert every time I tried to write a check for groceries the next 2 years, even though I had a new account number due to my name. Victory = thief


That really, really sucks.  Checks make me paranoid for that exact reason - you can't just call and cancel them easily and get the money back.
 
2013-02-14 06:06:35 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: /Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.


Because I don't touch dirt or ink, I'm not "working." Got it.

Better send Obama a note letting him know that the American People aren't going to tolerate his farking around all day anymore.
 
2013-02-14 06:10:12 PM  

Macular Degenerate: A few years back, I dropped my wallet in a bar in Boston the night I cashed my paycheck. I went back later that same night, and the bartender handed it to me with some douchey comment, like "Hey man, I didn't steal your money," because it was empty except for the credit cards. I couldn't prove that he stole the money, but someone obviously did. From that day forth, I never return anything that I find on the street. Credit cards, sure. But if it's fungible, (i.e. envelope full of cash), it's mine. Period. And I have no regrets. Karma's a biatch, honey


Same here, bro!  Drop a wallet?  Mine.  Forget your car keys?  Mine.

Years ago, a small kid got separated from her family in a busy store.  Karma's a biatch, Mom, 'cause she's been chained in my basement ever since.

/"fungible" means "covered in fungus", right?
 
2013-02-14 06:11:34 PM  

MythDragon: My two favorite found money CSBs

1: Wading around in the Flordia gulf when I feel something brush my hand. Instinctively I grab it, because it could be seaweed, it could be a big-ass man-o-war. Either way I found something interesting. Turns out it was a crisp (well now soggy) new 20. Just floating along with the currents. Sadly it wasn't part of a school.

2: At a gunshow. Had to use the bathrooms. As anyone who has been to a gunshow can tell you, the bathrooms are pissy free-for-alls were the toilets are more of a suggestion. I see a wad of bills on the floor. Now I am no stranger to Poo_Dollar, and I don't need a couple of 1s that bad. But wait, what's that in the middle? That larger white boarder....is that...it is! a 20! And a 5 to go with it. But did the 1s provide enough of a barrier? Gently I grab the 25 bucks by the edge and shake off the pissy 1s, I carefully test the dollar for urine content (I eyeball it) and make the determination that the four sacrificial singles did a good enough job keeping the piss off. Still to be safe, I stuck them in a cargo pocket and used them there so I wouldn't have to take them home. Later I wondered about the now extra pissy 4 singles laying on the floor and wondered if anyone would take them. I went back 20 minutes later and they were gone, of course.


You instinctively grab something because it might be a Portugese man of war?  Are you nuts?
 
2013-02-14 06:16:17 PM  

Raoul Eaton: MythDragon: My two favorite found money CSBs

1: Wading around in the Flordia gulf when I feel something brush my hand. Instinctively I grab it, because it could be seaweed, it could be a big-ass man-o-war. Either way I found something interesting. Turns out it was a crisp (well now soggy) new 20. Just floating along with the currents. Sadly it wasn't part of a school.

2: At a gunshow. Had to use the bathrooms. As anyone who has been to a gunshow can tell you, the bathrooms are pissy free-for-alls were the toilets are more of a suggestion. I see a wad of bills on the floor. Now I am no stranger to Poo_Dollar, and I don't need a couple of 1s that bad. But wait, what's that in the middle? That larger white boarder....is that...it is! a 20! And a 5 to go with it. But did the 1s provide enough of a barrier? Gently I grab the 25 bucks by the edge and shake off the pissy 1s, I carefully test the dollar for urine content (I eyeball it) and make the determination that the four sacrificial singles did a good enough job keeping the piss off. Still to be safe, I stuck them in a cargo pocket and used them there so I wouldn't have to take them home. Later I wondered about the now extra pissy 4 singles laying on the floor and wondered if anyone would take them. I went back 20 minutes later and they were gone, of course.

You instinctively grab something because it might be a Portugese man of war?  Are you nuts?


Well, how  else is he supposed to get superpowers?
 
2013-02-14 06:17:01 PM  
I once pulled up to a drive through ATM to grab some cash.  It was laundry day and I looked like a homeless person cuz I was wearing ripped up painters clothes while my stuff was in the wash.  In front of me a large limo pulled away from the machine; I remember being impressed that the driver was able to line up the back window with the passenger with the ATM.  Anyway, I pull up and the machine is beeping with a bank card sticking out of it.  I grabbed the card and chased down the limo in my Volkswagen, flashing lights & honking until I caught up at a red light.  When I jumped out I ran up to the drivers window, (ignoring the back window cuz I figured the driver would think I was a panhandler and leave).  The driver was a security type guy in a suit talking into his wrist mic while pulling a pistol with his other hand.  I held up the ATM card and the guy put his gun away, rolled down the window and said "Thank you, I'm sure the governor will be very happy to get this back".

/Utah
 
2013-02-14 06:21:27 PM  

SpaceBison: sandi_fish: I found a wallet in a Walmart parking lot with $240.00 or so in it.  Drove it to the ladies house after work, she looked inside, checked for the cash and said "thanks" and shut the door.  I learned my lesson that day.

What were you expecting? A blowjob?


Maybe a sincere thank you, or at least, "wow, can't believe you went out of your way to do this for me" type of response.  Meh.
 
2013-02-14 06:21:51 PM  

VegasVinnie: I once pulled up to a drive through ATM to grab some cash.  It was laundry day and I looked like a homeless person cuz I was wearing ripped up painters clothes while my stuff was in the wash.  In front of me a large limo pulled away from the machine; I remember being impressed that the driver was able to line up the back window with the passenger with the ATM.  Anyway, I pull up and the machine is beeping with a bank card sticking out of it.  I grabbed the card and chased down the limo in my Volkswagen, flashing lights & honking until I caught up at a red light.  When I jumped out I ran up to the drivers window, (ignoring the back window cuz I figured the driver would think I was a panhandler and leave).  The driver was a security type guy in a suit talking into his wrist mic while pulling a pistol with his other hand.  I held up the ATM card and the guy put his gun away, rolled down the window and said "Thank you, I'm sure the governor will be very happy to get this back".

/Utah


Wow. That is actually a CSB.
 
2013-02-14 06:21:59 PM  

BigNumber12: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: /Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.

Because I don't touch dirt or ink, I'm not "working." Got it.

Better send Obama a note letting him know that the American People aren't going to tolerate his farking around all day anymore.


Lemme explain it for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_%28physics%29

In other words, if your feet rest on a desk, you're in a position. If your feet rest firmly on the floor, you are conducting work. Understand?
 
2013-02-14 06:23:54 PM  

rich_mitch: My good Samaritan CSB:

I'm walking along the beach and this little girl runs up to me, freaking out, and says, "Mister, I know I'm not supposed to talk to strangers but my sister is trapped on a rock and can't get down.  I can't find my parents.  They said they'd never leave me but they're gone!"

Sure enough an even younger girl is sitting on top of a pretty big ocean rock and bawling because she's afraid to climb down.  I climb up, help her down and tell that I'll wait with her until her parents get back.  About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.

I never even got to tell her that it would be a cold day before her kids would ever trust her again.

/CSB


My similar CSB:

I was at Universal Studios Citywalk in LA and spotted a little 3 or 4 year old girl playing with her brothers at the base of a long escalator. She decided to grab the moving handrail on the outside of the escalator and was instantly lifted off her feet and being pulled up to the second level, probably about 20 or 25 feet above ground level. Had she fallen, she'd have likely been seriously hurt. I ran up the escalator, grabbed her arms and pulled her over the railing to safety. We got to the second level and immediately turned around to go back down and find her mom. (She was scared and hysterical, but I got her calmed down as the we descended to the ground level.) Of course, all the mom saw was some long-haired white guy holding her (black) daughter's hand coming down the escalator. Mom was getting ready to open a can of whoopass on me for kidnapping her daughter, when one of the older kids explained that I'd just saved the little girl's life. Instead of thanking me, the mom just started chewing out the little girl for scaring her so badly. I just walked away before the mom decided to have me arrested or something.

/CSB
 
2013-02-14 06:29:18 PM  

karmaceutical: This one doesn't sound so bad... depending on how the guy said it you know.  Did he say it in some overly accusatory manner, or in more a of "wow I hope my money is all there!" kind of way.

Could go either way...




Doesn't matter, someone is nice and honest to hand you 1200 bucks on your word that you lost it, and you can't even manage a farking "thank you?" Really? I remember a story long ago where a guy found a whole bank bag, one of those canvas things that had somehow fallen out , or been tossed out, of a armored car. I would imagine one of the guards tossed it out to retrieve later. Anyway, it was money going off to be burned, and this dude saw it. He grabbed it up, counted it, was like 500K or something, and after a few days of thinking about it..he was honest enough to take it to the bank where it came from. He didn't expect a reward, just trying to do the right thing. Anyway, he presents the cash to the VP at the main branch of the bank, and the guy makes him stand in his office while accountants count all the cash, then tells him to pretty much fark off. This pisses the dude off, who then goes to the newspapers who eat it up. Few days after the story ran, the president of the bank called him back in "with the news of course" and gave him like a 50 K reward for being honest, and a car. And also told him that the VP was now shoveling shiat in Deigo garcia or some hell hole.

/i know..csb.
 
2013-02-14 06:29:31 PM  
Now THIS is news
 
2013-02-14 06:31:20 PM  
I'm not going through 200 comments, but I can attest to the douchery people have towards people who labor with their hands and end up a bit dirty and ragged looking by midday. I have one of these jobs which, btw, you have to be mechanically inclined and booksmart at the same time to do. However, when I'm working in an office building around cubicle dwellers, I get the 'ewww' look and cold shoulder by most of them..especially in an elevator...as if they are above me somehow, and better than me because they think I'm some kind of monkey.

I actually WORK for a living, and this is frowned upon. Even though I own a house and cars and kids and all that other BS that society tells me I have to have to be considered successful..but they don't now this, and even if they did I'm still just an uneducated grease monkey...it actually can be kind of depressing at times.
 
2013-02-14 06:31:57 PM  
If I understand the bulk of comments here, somebody you didn't know was mean/rude/unappreciative to you once -so screw everybody you don't know.

To the lab. I shall design a virus that lives on money for about an hour. It cannot be passed any other way than the handling of money but will be inactivated after the first person touches it. It will cause an infection with little to no symptoms other than to cause sterility. I shall use crowdfunding to support my crusade to spread this.
My great-great grandchildren will inherit a better world.
 
2013-02-14 06:33:33 PM  

publikenemy: I actually WORK for a living, and this is frowned upon. Even though I own a house and cars and kids and all that other BS that society tells me I have to have to be considered successful..but they don't now this, and even if they did I'm still just an uneducated grease monkey...it actually can be kind of depressing at times.


You own kids? Not cool dude, not cool.
 
2013-02-14 06:37:03 PM  

seadoo2006: My lost wallet CSB:

I lost my wallet on a bike ride on a Sunday afternoon.  Went to work Monday after cancelling all my cars, determined to get a replacement wallet on my lunch break.  I was pulled over driving to work for failing to signal on a lane change, and got three citations ... one for failing to signal, one for no license, and one for no proof of insurance.  All in all, that bike ride cost me north of $800 after all was said and done.

/Fark you, pigs.


Shoulda gone all Donner on your _ _PD.
 
2013-02-14 06:37:22 PM  

J Noble Daggett: If I understand the bulk of comments here, somebody you didn't know was mean/rude/unappreciative to you once -so screw everybody you don't know.

To the lab. I shall design a virus that lives on money for about an hour. It cannot be passed any other way than the handling of money but will be inactivated after the first person touches it. It will cause an infection with little to no symptoms other than to cause sterility. I shall use crowdfunding to support my crusade to spread this.
My great-great grandchildren will inherit a better world.


What about your 12 Monkeys?
 
2013-02-14 06:38:53 PM  
Somehow, I know the guy who found the envelope. I don't recall how, but I remember him from my circle of friends. I do recall him being a decent guy, though.
 
2013-02-14 06:45:14 PM  
Thank you to UNAUTHORIZED FINGER for the TotalFark..very cool and very much appreciated
 
2013-02-14 06:47:20 PM  

Mutiny32: Somehow, I know the guy who found the envelope. I don't recall how, but I remember him from my circle of friends. I do recall him being a decent guy, though.


CSB!
 
2013-02-14 06:47:55 PM  

publikenemy: Thank you to UNAUTHORIZED FINGER for the TotalFark..very cool and very much appreciated


:) You're welcome.
 
2013-02-14 06:55:07 PM  

BigNumber12: Are there many people who describe themselves as [physically] "dirty?" When being interviewed by a reporter?


People like mechanics who do dirty work for a living? Farmers who grow plants in <i>dirt</i>? Maybe those people...
 
2013-02-14 06:55:36 PM  
CSB:

When my daughter was 13, I took her and two of her friends to a ComicCon. I was only there to make sure they got back home safely and keep track of them, but let them cruise off through the event on their own for extended periods. They came to check in and made me go with them to one of the dining areas, where they pointed out a $20 bill on one of the seats.

"We found that on the floor. It wasn't ours, so we went around and asked everyone if they had lost any money. No one said they had lost it, so we decided to put it on the chair closest to where we found it."

I was surprised that no one had told them, "Uh, yeah, that must be mine." But that wasn't the truly amazing part. Two hours later, we checked back and the $20 was still there. As far as I know, it became a tip for the janitor at the end of the night.

Gained some faith in humanity that day. Or at least faith in geek humanity. ComicCon is probably the only place in town that could have happened.
 
2013-02-14 06:57:25 PM  

Biner: rich_mitch: My good Samaritan CSB:

I'm walking along the beach and this little girl runs up to me, freaking out, and says, "Mister, I know I'm not supposed to talk to strangers but my sister is trapped on a rock and can't get down.  I can't find my parents.  They said they'd never leave me but they're gone!"

Sure enough an even younger girl is sitting on top of a pretty big ocean rock and bawling because she's afraid to climb down.  I climb up, help her down and tell that I'll wait with her until her parents get back.  About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.

I never even got to tell her that it would be a cold day before her kids would ever trust her again.

/CSB

My similar CSB:

I was at Universal Studios Citywalk in LA and spotted a little 3 or 4 year old girl playing with her brothers at the base of a long escalator. She decided to grab the moving handrail on the outside of the escalator and was instantly lifted off her feet and being pulled up to the second level, probably about 20 or 25 feet above ground level. Had she fallen, she'd have likely been seriously hurt. I ran up the escalator, grabbed her arms and pulled her over the railing to safety. We got to the second level and immediately turned around to go back down and find her mom. (She was scared and hysterical, but I got her calmed down as the we descended to the ground level.) Of course, all the mom saw was some long-haired white guy holding her (black) daughter's hand coming down the escalator. Mom was getting ready to open a can of whoopass on me for kidnapping her daughter, when one of the older kids explained that I'd just saved the little girl's life. Instead of thanking me, the mom just started chewing out the little girl for scaring her so badly. I just walked away before the mom decided to have me arrested or something.

/CSB


go on.......

content6.flixster.com
 
2013-02-14 07:00:40 PM  

blatz514: I was leaving a bar last night and saw $20 sitting in the automated ATM machine.


Sure it wasn't an automated ATM teller machine?
 
2013-02-14 07:02:06 PM  
My brother and I found a wallet in a Subway sandwich shop in Mojave, CA. There was cash, which we didn't count, and a driver's license for a girl living out in Boron, a tiny spot between Mojave and Barstow. I thought it would be fun to return it, so we drove on out to this tiny economically depressed spot in the middle of the Mojave Desert and found the address, The old lady that answered the door looked so sad but she perked right up when we gave her the wallet. Turned out it belonged to her daughter, who was going to school in Bakersfield and had just called her Mom, distraught, having just got back to school from her trip home. The woman's thanks and big smile was our only reward and my brother and I toasted each other with a cream soda at the local Stop-N-Rob before getting back on Hwy 58 and going on our way.

Sometimes the reward for doing the right thing is subtle.
 
2013-02-14 07:02:24 PM  
About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.
 
2013-02-14 07:04:24 PM  

AndreMA: blatz514: I was leaving a bar last night and saw $20 sitting in the automated ATM machine.

Sure it wasn't an automated ATM teller machine?


It wasn't that fancy.
 
2013-02-14 07:06:46 PM  

ferdyonfilms.com

All money is mine

 
2013-02-14 07:07:56 PM  

AndreMA: blatz514: I was leaving a bar last night and saw $20 sitting in the automated ATM machine.

Sure it wasn't an automated ATM teller machine?


LOL
 
2013-02-14 07:10:11 PM  

Macular Degenerate: A few years back, I dropped my wallet in a bar in Boston the night I cashed my paycheck. I went back later that same night, and the bartender handed it to me with some douchey comment, like "Hey man, I didn't steal your money," because it was empty except for the credit cards. I couldn't prove that he stole the money, but someone obviously did. From that day forth, I never return anything that I find on the street. Credit cards, sure. But if it's fungible, (i.e. envelope full of cash), it's mine. Period. And I have no regrets. Karma's a biatch, honey


Yeah........That's not exactly how the karma idea works.  It has to do with YOUR actions within the world, not punishing complete strangers who had nothing to do with your bar incident for the bar incident.
 
2013-02-14 07:11:46 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.


C'mon man, FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY!!!
 
2013-02-14 07:13:25 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.


That's bullshiat someone woke you up right when it was getting good. I hope you had time to crank one out.
 
2013-02-14 07:14:18 PM  

Atomic Spunk: SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.

C'mon man, FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY!!!


I dunno, man. That one might end more like "dear abby" than "dear penthouse"

//or would have, at least.
 
2013-02-14 07:16:19 PM  
I made an effort to return a found handbag years ago and was treated as if I had taken it, scrutinized about where and the way I happened to find it and had the door slammed in my face. I was in tears. F*ck that! A few years ago I found a wallet, considered the cash a gift and mailed it to the address on the driver's license anonymously. If someone were to find mine I would be happy with the safe return of the contents and consider any cash to be a gift.
 
2013-02-14 07:17:52 PM  
I was bartending and someone left their phone behind. We asked around and it didn't belong to anyone. It was a slow night and two of us were on shift so I got off early and was sitting around just having a few. I looked at contacts to see if I knew anyone I could get a hold of (kind of a small town) and then clicked on photos. The owner seemed to love photographing parts of her body. When I finally saw one with her face, I remembered the group she was with and knew they went to the bar next door. I went over, found her and gave her the phone back. When she asked how I knew it was hers, I just said I saw her leave it and tried to yell after her but she didn't hear. She said thanks and was nice, but no thanks was really necessary at that point.
 
2013-02-14 07:35:30 PM  

MagSeven: I was bartending and someone left their phone behind.


I thought you were going to say that you sold it to Gizmodo...
 
2013-02-14 07:39:04 PM  
whilei can understand the guy wanting all his money back , he is still a douchebag.
 
2013-02-14 07:39:55 PM  

Atomic Spunk: SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.

Then I went out and bought a PS3. 

C'mon man, FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY!!!

How's that?
 
2013-02-14 07:54:10 PM  
Fake and a con.

The whole thing was made up by this guy so he could advertise his business and look like a hero.

What a sick bastard.
 
2013-02-14 07:56:02 PM  
In college I found a bag of weed on the ground at a gas station at the county line, where you had to go to buy beer on Sundays.  We kind of watched it for a while, wondering if it was entrapment if we picked it up, but being college students eventually we did.   Of course we also smoked it, pretty sure it was laced with something, none of us could move for a few hours.   Felt like I was cemented to the couch.  Good times.

/csb
//occasionally even has $1200 in cash
 
2013-02-14 07:57:11 PM  
When I was in high school I was at a party where a bunch of us undesirables were hanging out in the backyard rather than in the house proper. So it started raining, then pouring,then a bird nest fell from the tree between our feet. There was a baby chick still in it. We hunkered down and all had a good look before we called to the home owner to tell her the news. She came running out screaming, "don't kill it! Don't kill it!" That was an important moment in my life and you're lucky I shared it with you.
 
2013-02-14 07:57:43 PM  

Atomic Spunk: SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet.  Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt.   But then she put on a pair of Crocs and jorts and prayed to Tim Tebow for thanks.

C'mon man, FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY!!!

 
2013-02-14 08:03:31 PM  

LasersHurt: And here is one of the unsung problems of weed prohibition. People can steal your stash, and you have no recourse! Not cool.


That's just the politics of contraband.
 
2013-02-14 08:04:13 PM  
I lost my wallet at the Louvre in Paris last April.  It was returned to the lost and found with all the cards and money still in it.  Pretty amazing.  Thank you French person/Louvre Tourist, whoever you are!
 
2013-02-14 08:05:19 PM  
Not CSB:
When I was a teenager I found a girl's wallet with $30. That was a lot of money to me.  So I immediately went to the video game parlor and proceeded to piss that money away.  Later I'm sitting outside of the shop (insdie the mall) and a group of girls are walking around, one of them crying (she looked about 12 or 13) and they're all talking about "where else should we look".  It was obvious to me that I had found this girls money and spent it all on pinball without making the minimal attempt at finding the rightful owner.  I felt like shiat.  Since then, I have always returned found wallets.  I don't want any more bad kharma for being a douche.
 
2013-02-14 08:10:28 PM  
Am I the only one who immediately thought he looks like Hans from The Burbs?

...anyone? anyone?
 
2013-02-14 08:10:29 PM  
So let me get this straight:

A guy detailing some dude's car dumped a bunch of his crap out on the ground. Then when he went to throw it away after vacuuming the car, he realized some of that trash was an envelope full of cash. Before the guy drove off, he returned the envelope realizing his error. Then the car owner snidely said he hoped it was all there.
 
2013-02-14 08:16:47 PM  

amquelbettamin: So let me get this straight:

A guy detailing some dude's car dumped a bunch of his crap out on the ground. Then when he went to throw it away after vacuuming the car, he realized some of that trash was an envelope full of cash. Before the guy drove off, he returned the envelope realizing his error. Then the car owner snidely said he hoped it was all there.


Um no. Not at all. RTFA.
 
BN0
2013-02-14 08:19:20 PM  
My daughter once lost a frog wallet at the aquarium in Charleston, SC.

We never saw it again. It contained almost $4.

She cried for weeks.

Never forget.
 
2013-02-14 08:21:03 PM  
2 css

First, when I was still married, my husband had a habit of leaving his wallet on top of the car and driving off. Fortunately, we always found it in the street just a couple of houses down. The last time he did, we couldn't find it. Later a woman and her kid returned the wallet. Everything was still in it but the lottery ticket that he had won $250 on. I have no idea if the woman took it or if it fell out of the wallet and blew away but it broke him of the habit of sticking his wallet on the roof of the car when he loaded the kids in the car.

Second, we just recently received a voicemail from a woman looking for my daughter. She said her husband had found a check made out to her on his walk and they tracked us down through Google. I had my daughter call her back because I couldn't think of any check that would be made out to her. Turns out it was my daughter's paycheck that fell out of her pocket when she was waiting for the school bus. She had already lost it earlier in the week and I had assumed that she had deposited it already.

The lady requested that we bring the check stub and a picture ID to make sure it was her. It was nice of her to check. The paycheck was deposited the next morning before anything else could happen to it.
 
2013-02-14 08:23:58 PM  

amquelbettamin: So let me get this straight:

A guy detailing some dude's car dumped a bunch of his crap out on the ground. Then when he went to throw it away after vacuuming the car, he realized some of that trash was an envelope full of cash. Before the guy drove off, he returned the envelope realizing his error. Then the car owner snidely said he hoped it was all there.


nope. but don't feel bad, subby didn't read the article either.

a guy owns an auto detailing shop... WHICH NOW HAS NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH THE STORY.
as he is walking into a hardware store, he finds an envelope of cash. He enters the hardware store, finds the owner of the envelope of cash and returns it. the owner of the envelope of cash says, "I hope it's all there".

good samaritan posts to Facebook that he thinks he should've been thanked better. Hardware store sees it and gives good samaritan gift-card and assorted crap.
 
2013-02-14 08:28:08 PM  
Found a wallet in a parking lot outside a Starbucks. While inside drinking coffee I saw a man looking around and talking to
the barista. I asked him what he was looking for and he said his daughter lost her wallet. I opened the wallet and it had his daughters name in it. The dad wanted my name and address and in a few days I got a handwritten letter from his 9 year old daughter thanking me. It was great!
 
2013-02-14 08:33:17 PM  
So did the curmudgeonly old guy also question whether the bearded guy had a cut-rate car insurance plan as well?
 
2013-02-14 08:33:48 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


He cashed his paycheck? He was taking his savings to the bank? HAVING CASH DOESN'T MAKE YOU A CRIMINAL! No matter what the cops say. This guy is an asshole though for accusing him of taking some.
 
2013-02-14 08:35:23 PM  

flamingboard: SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future

He cashed his paycheck? He was taking his savings to the bank? HAVING CASH DOESN'T MAKE YOU A CRIMINAL! No matter what the cops say. This guy is an asshole though for accusing him of taking some.


He was at a hardware store too. Probably making a large business purchase or possibly hiring day labor.
 
2013-02-14 08:39:43 PM  

calbert: I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.


Hahaha...funny stuff
 
2013-02-14 08:41:45 PM  

calbert: amquelbettamin: So let me get this straight:

A guy detailing some dude's car dumped a bunch of his crap out on the ground. Then when he went to throw it away after vacuuming the car, he realized some of that trash was an envelope full of cash. Before the guy drove off, he returned the envelope realizing his error. Then the car owner snidely said he hoped it was all there.

nope. but don't feel bad, subby didn't read the article either.

a guy owns an auto detailing shop... WHICH NOW HAS NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH THE STORY.
as he is walking into a hardware store, he finds an envelope of cash. He enters the hardware store, finds the owner of the envelope of cash and returns it. the owner of the envelope of cash says, "I hope it's all there".

good samaritan posts to Facebook that he thinks he should've been thanked better. Hardware store sees it and gives good samaritan gift-card and assorted crap.


Oh. Well that makes a lot more sense. My error.

I wonder if he got a free pine tree air freshener for his bother?
 
2013-02-14 08:41:59 PM  

majestic: I walked in the grocery store the other day and their was a shopping cart with a purse sitting in the basket. I felt like I was on some kind of undercover "what would you do?" type show. I wheeled the whole cart over to the nearest cashier and let her deal with it.  No way I was touching that purse.


Every day of my life feels like this.

/Yours, Truman
 
2013-02-14 08:42:25 PM  

Fissile: When I was in high school, I had a job working at a gas station.  One morning a Camaro driven by a 30-ish woman dressed(badly) like a secretary drove into the station.  I could see there was something dragging under the car when it drove in.  She drove up to me and through the window said,  "It sounds like something is dragging under my car, the noise started this morning."  I could she was wearing one of those oversized trench coats with the big wrap-around belt.  Yup, you guessed it,  she got into the car and closed the door with the buckle end of the belt hanging outside of the car.    The buckle was dragging along, and bouncing up and down against the rocker panel.  I told her to open the door.  When she opened the door,  I picked up the belt, which was worse for wear, and said, "This is what's dragging".  I didn't make fun.  I didn't say it in a snarky kind of way.  it was said as a matter of fact.  She grabbed the belt out of my hands, slammed the door and called me an asshole before driving off.   Experiences like that are what turn young kids into cynics.


When people have reactions like that I always wonder how they will spin the story in their favor if/when they tell it to someone.

One day I went into work for some overtime at 6pm. One of the first calls I get is from a girl who sounded like hell. She says she was brought into a local hospital last night via ambulance (and is assuming it was our ambulance ...multiple towns come into this particular hospital) because she was drunk. Her questions to me are where was she picked up from and where is her car. I explain to her that I have no idea, we have no way of tracking that from my end. I feel kinda bad for her and try to help her jog her memory. She gets annoyed and cusses me out because we lost her car and she wants it back now and she is suing us and will have my job and I'M the dumb biatch because I can't tell her anything about HER life. She then hangs up on me.

Never even got a chance to ask her if she thought she may have been drugged and had no way of calling her back because she blocked her phone number when she called. I called the hospital where she said she was taken to and they have no record of her. On a whim I call the other hospital across town and she had been taken there but via a 3rd party ambulance and they have no clue what town they came from and were unable to get a phone number from her.

if you're the drunk chick how do you make yourself sound good in that story????
 
2013-02-14 08:47:38 PM  
I found a wallet once.  It was actually more of a day planner, like a filofax that had the guy's business schedule, credit cards and gym membership in it.  I was going to give it back to him, and I saw that I could just meet him at his next appointment for the day, which was at a swanky businessmen's lunchroom.  But the guy didn't show up!  When I went to find his client that he would be lunching with, the client thought I was the rich guy who owned the filofax!  He asked me a question about the Chicago Cubs right off the bat, and I knew the answer, so I told him.

Next thing I know we're sitting eating lobster and drinking margaritas!  Later, at the tennis lesson, I told him just what I thought of his low-quality Japanese foods and how he could improve his factory.  This shocked him, but I think he was impressed by my honesty.  Still no sign of Mr. Filofax.  Since the important Japanese client still thought I was him, I figured I should continue the gag, at least up until I had to leave to go watch the World Series (winning tickets to a Series game is why I felt I had to bust out of jail one day early, and what started this whole mess in the first place.)  But at the big meeting with the ad men, Spencer shows up and demands his filofax back!  Then his boss fired him for looking like a bum.  I guess without his planner the poor guy went completely to pieces.  So I took him to the ball game, the Cubs won, and I managed to sneak back inside the prison before the warden noticed me gone!  All in all, a pretty good couple of days.  I guess the moral of the story is to you all the kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand.
 
2013-02-14 08:50:11 PM  
Because expressing a hope that you haven't lost some of your money is wrong, right?
 
2013-02-14 08:55:44 PM  
Nothing like a free twenty from the self check-out
 
2013-02-14 08:56:09 PM  
If anybody ever returns your valuables, give them all of it you can afford to and say "thank you". If you can't afford, at least the "thank you" is good.
 
2013-02-14 08:57:06 PM  

bill4935: I found a wallet once.  It was actually more of a day planner, like a filofax that had the guy's business schedule, credit cards and gym membership in it.  I was going to give it back to him, and I saw that I could just meet him at his next appointment for the day, which was at a swanky businessmen's lunchroom.  But the guy didn't show up!  When I went to find his client that he would be lunching with, the client thought I was the rich guy who owned the filofax!  He asked me a question about the Chicago Cubs right off the bat, and I knew the answer, so I told him.

Next thing I know we're sitting eating lobster and drinking margaritas!  Later, at the tennis lesson, I told him just what I thought of his low-quality Japanese foods and how he could improve his factory.  This shocked him, but I think he was impressed by my honesty.  Still no sign of Mr. Filofax.  Since the important Japanese client still thought I was him, I figured I should continue the gag, at least up until I had to leave to go watch the World Series (winning tickets to a Series game is why I felt I had to bust out of jail one day early, and what started this whole mess in the first place.)  But at the big meeting with the ad men, Spencer shows up and demands his filofax back!  Then his boss fired him for looking like a bum.  I guess without his planner the poor guy went completely to pieces.  So I took him to the ball game, the Cubs won, and I managed to sneak back inside the prison before the warden noticed me gone!  All in all, a pretty good couple of days.  I guess the moral of the story is to you all the kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don't understand.


Wow, sounds like you were truly taking care of business.
 
2013-02-14 09:12:26 PM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


Most stories have an ending. You fail, miserably.
 
2013-02-14 09:26:05 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: 1) Why was the guy carrying around an envelope with $1200 in it?
2) Why did he not constantly keep aware of it?

/methinks this story involves drugs or would in the near future


Or rent...
 
2013-02-14 09:29:18 PM  
 In a much younger life form I plied the black hand trade as a mechanic at a service station/garage. One day an irate customer returned after picking up his car demanding to know what had happened to the bank bag full of money he'd left in his vehicle while it was worked on. Physical threats, legal consequences and descriptive claims of maternal copulation were being hurled at the shop's proprietor while I walked past this guy to search the interior of the man's car for the bag. After finding nothing I turned around to view the backside of a violently gesturing, threatening lunatic and there in his hip pocket I saw a bank bag. No apologies and naturally no reward for finding the money other than we never saw the asshole again.
 
2013-02-14 09:35:32 PM  

Somaticasual: Atomic Spunk: SuperNinjaToad: About 6 years ago I found a purse which contained about $1500 in cash at a local restaurant. Upon looking deeper I saw a vibrator. Needless to say I couldn't help myself and looked at the driver's license. To my surprise the picture was of a very attractive albeit older lady of maybe late 40s etc. Height t was listed at about 5' 8 and weight about 135 ibs. Address listed was no more than 2 blocks away.
Being the good samaritan that I am, I drove over to her house with the intention of giving her back her purse. The house was quite modest but nicely kept and maintained. Anyway I rang the doorbell and to my pleasant surprise a gorgeous tall blond opened the door. I proceeded to explain why I was there and before I know it she gave out a ecstatic shriek and told me it her mom's and that they had been coming the entire house trying to find her purse. Not a moment later the lady whom I recognized on the driver's license rushed out the door and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so caught off guard I didn't even noticed all she had on was a bath robe. She was quite wet. Apparently she was in the middle of a shower and must have heard her daughter's yell earlier.

They invited me in for coffee and I found the interior to be very warm and cozy. The daughter then told me the money I found was actually for the rent and grocery for the month. They were just so grateful I was such an honest person to have brought her purse and contents back to them.

When the mom opened up her purse to check the cash she also sheepishly asked me if I had taken a 'look' inside. I embarassingly said yes. She proceeded to take out her vibrator and both mom and daughter busted out laughing. The daughter then told me she had one that is similar and ran off to her bedroom. In what seemed like forever she finally came out holding her pink vibrator and wearing just her panties and a white UF Gator t-shirt. With a flirtatious smile, she looks at me and says

"OPEN THE DOOR / GET ON THE FLOOR /EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR."

C'mon man, FINISH THE GODDAMN STORY!!!
 
2013-02-14 09:35:54 PM  

KrispyKritter: blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB

Most stories have an ending. You fail, miserably.


Um, I realized I should not have had hot wings the night before driving 200 miles?

/I did get a free sub for turning the wallet in to the cashier.
//not much of a reward
 
2013-02-14 09:54:36 PM  
/csb

The boy and I were returning from a weekend Scouting  camp and stopped at a rest area to bilge and stretch.  While waiting in the lobby for my son to finish his "paperwork", a lady came out of the women's restroom holding a purse and asking if it belonged to anyone.   No one responded, and a discussion started regarding the proper  course of action.
My son exited the restroom wearing his Scout shirt, and came and stood by me and asked what was going on.  One of the onlookers said"give it to the Boy Scout, he'll get it to the owner.  So the lady gave it to my kid, who looked really uncomfortable holding a ladies purse.
We ended up finding a police station at the next town and turning it in there.  We were in middle Nebraska, and the wallet in the puse had a NY DL.
So anyway, that's what happened and I really don't care if they let gay guys into the Scouts. I'm sure gays like camping and sitting around campfires like my kid does.
 
2013-02-14 09:54:42 PM  

calbert: I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.


You know, I had forgotten why I had you Farkied as an a-hole. Thanks for reminding me!
 
2013-02-14 09:59:09 PM  

The correct answer is...: calbert: I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.

You know, I had forgotten why I had you Farkied as an a-hole. Thanks for reminding me!


someone has me Farkied as an a-hole?

i75.photobucket.com

REPEAT!!!!
 
2013-02-14 10:25:56 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: If I find a wallet with ID, or an envelope with a name/address on it, I'll make a reasonable effort to find the rightful owner. If I find loose money, or a wallet with no identification, it's mine. Hell, anyone could say "Oh, you found a hundred dollars? That's mine. I lost a hundred dollars."

[gawker.com image 400x436]

This money is mines!


I have a similar story.

Took my ten year old son to the movies over Thanksgiving and we'd just recently discussed how important it is to do the right thing.  As we're standing in the serve yourself snack lobby, I spy a $20 bill on the floor in between a dude who's wife just went off someplace and this woman with three kids.  So, object lesson time right?  I ask my boy "what do you do" (as he's bent down to pick it up).  I explain that if it was his it'd probably be all the money he had to get popcorn and a drink and he'd probably like it back...but even he recognized that you can't really walk up to most people and ask "hey, did you lose this twenty dollar bill"...but my boy is a frickin' genius.

He says "we wait here until those people go to pay for their stuff.  The one that suddenly starts searching around like they lost something...it's them".  As it turned out, neither one acted like that.  They both paid and went off to their movies...so the boy was $20 richer that day.
 
2013-02-14 10:49:17 PM  

Profedius: I do not carry money on me let alone $1200.00 but if I did for some reason I would go directly to where I was going to use that $1200.00


I presume you keep your money in a bank, where they just steal it from you legitimately.
 
2013-02-14 11:18:54 PM  
"I hope it's all there."

Makes sense to me.
Just because the guy who handed it to him didn't take anything, it doesn't mean someone else didn't.
 
2013-02-14 11:26:52 PM  
My CSB:

One time, when I was buying a bus ticket at a bar (it was also the local Greyhound Agent), this guy next to me was in a huge hurry. He finished up his transaction then ran out of the bar. Several seconds later, I notice that he's left his wallet on the bar. I take it outside and look for him and I see him running down the sidewalk, maybe 30 or 40 yards away. I shout out to him that he dropped his wallet -- doesn't hear me, still running. Then, instead of trying to chase him down, I decide to throw his wallet at him. So I wind up, give it a good heave and... perfect throw! It whacks him right in the back! He stops, looks around confused for a bit, then finds his wallet and picks it up.

I waved to him and he eventually saw me and waved back, then kept on his way. In hindsight, I wish I had just snuck back inside before he saw me, leaving him to wonder where his wallet came from.
 
2013-02-14 11:35:52 PM  

rich_mitch: About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.


I had a similar sort of CS, B. I was in a bookstore. A little toddler girl spots me, wriggles loose from her mom, and runs over to me shouting "DADDYYYYYYY!" and grabs onto my left leg with all four limbs, as kids will do. Guess I looked enough like Dad to fool a 2-year-old.

Mom sees all this happen, so it's not like she thinks I somehow snatched her kid away. I'm just standing there kind of frozen--sure as hell not going to physically pry this kid off of me with my hands--so mom comes over and calls the kid off. "Susie, no! That man's not Daddy."

So far all this has taken about ten seconds. I'm expecting Mom to be a little embarrassed, or amused, or both. I get ready to make some jokey remark to show that everything's cool, but before I can even say anything she shoots me this look of horror and disgust. As in, "ugh, as  if I'd have a baby with you." Grabs the kid and huffs back to where she was standing. WELL FARK YOU TOO LADY!
 
2013-02-14 11:44:10 PM  
I used to drive through Harrisonville occasionally when I was stationed at Richards-Gebauer AFB and figure the douche was from up the road in Belton, MO. People there routinely carry large sums of money in envelopes (seriously, everyone is either buying/selling scrap metal or used cars) because no one in that area uses or accepts credit cards or personal checks for transactions.
 
2013-02-14 11:53:37 PM  

semiotix: rich_mitch: About five minutes later the mom comes running down the beach, snatches up her daughter, gives me this look like I'm obviously a baby rapist and whisks the daughter off without saying a word.

I had a similar sort of CS, B. I was in a bookstore. A little toddler girl spots me, wriggles loose from her mom, and runs over to me shouting "DADDYYYYYYY!" and grabs onto my left leg with all four limbs, as kids will do. Guess I looked enough like Dad to fool a 2-year-old.

Mom sees all this happen, so it's not like she thinks I somehow snatched her kid away. I'm just standing there kind of frozen--sure as hell not going to physically pry this kid off of me with my hands--so mom comes over and calls the kid off. "Susie, no! That man's not Daddy."

So far all this has taken about ten seconds. I'm expecting Mom to be a little embarrassed, or amused, or both. I get ready to make some jokey remark to show that everything's cool, but before I can even say anything she shoots me this look of horror and disgust. As in, "ugh, as  if I'd have a baby with you." Grabs the kid and huffs back to where she was standing. WELL FARK YOU TOO LADY!


Moms are incapable of rational thought.
 
2013-02-15 12:09:41 AM  

DownDaRiver: Mikey1969: DownDaRiver: They goodness for the internet and personal blogging/twitt/??...
Or else the world would never have known that this dude got his panties in a wad about not receiving the gracious grattitude he thought he was due!!
Who gives a F***!!!!

"Thank you" isn't too much to ask for. Please make sure to sign all envelopes of money you may carry around, so everyone will know who out there is too much of a prick to even bother giving the money back to.

I didn't say that the guy who lost the money wasn't a dick for not being more appreciative by saying a simple 'Thank You'.
I just said that who gives a F***!!



It seems you give a F***! So much so you had to post twice to make sure everyone knew the extent of your concern. Though I think you intended otherwise. ;)
 
2013-02-15 12:44:36 AM  

calbert: I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.


Thanks, god.
 
2013-02-15 12:56:18 AM  

mongbiohazard: OK, it was a jerk way to respond, but I was honestly expecting worse.

My own version/CSB:
One day in my neighbrohood on my home I spotted a whole bunch of cash on the ground. It looked pretty obviously to have fallen out of the driver's pocket or something as they were exiting their car - and the nearest car was further up the block. I stopped, got out of my car and gathered up every bill I could find. Then, instead of driving away with a whole bunch of cash (at least $2000 and probably a bit more), I used some deduction to figure which house I figured the car belonged to (Red Isuzu Trooper with a Tweety Bird sticker on the back was screaming "latin chick" to me, and most of the folks on that block were old folks - except the latin family I could see through their front windows across the street from the Isuzu).

I knocked on the door and politely asked if the woman who answered if she knew who the owner of the Isuzu was. She was eyeing me warily, but said "Yes, that's my car. Why?" So I told her, "Then I think you must have dropped this while getting out of your car" and held out the cash to her. She snatched it from my hand brusquely and gave me a very nasty sounding "Thank you" that sounded like she was accusing me of having done something wrong and slammed the door in my face HARD before I could so much as utter a syllable.

"Uhhh... you're welcome, I guess..." I said to the closed door a few inches from my face, and went back to my car.

I did technically get thanked... technically. Not like I was looking for a reward or a handy j, but I thought slamming the door in my face before I could even say "you're welcome" was kind of rude to do to the stranger that just saved you a couple grand just because he's nice.


She probably thought it was some kind of a scam, and that you had gotten the missing money by picking her pocket or something, and was using it to get close to her.
 
2013-02-15 12:58:32 AM  

blatz514: Here is my wallet CSB.

Stopped at a Subway during a long car trip.  Went to use the bathroom and do my business.  There was a fat wallet sitting on top of the toilet paper dispenser.  I ask you Fark community, how many of you take out your wallet to take a dump?

/CSB


I've had change fall out of my pocket when I stop to take a dump in a public restroom.  I don't know how much because I was not about to get down on hands and knees to look for it.  I've had wallets slip out of my pants while driving ... if I'd had to use a public restroom after having recovered a wallet in the car, I'd probably take the wallet out and place it somewhere more sanitary than the floor.
 
2013-02-15 01:42:04 AM  

The correct answer is...: calbert: I found a wallet in a college lecture hall about 8 years ago. I still have it, everything's intact. there's $7 in it, drivers license, student id, pic of girlfriend.

I plan on one day contacting the owner based on the DL address. at the time, it belonged to young kid 19-20y.o., so I figure the address is his parents house, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

thing is, when I return it, I'll concoct some story about how I came across it, the parents/owner will be amazed that he is finally getting it returned in tact. it'll probably be mentioned on his Facebook page or something, and possibly some news organization will pick it up as a feel-good story.

and yet no one will realize that it wasn't kismet or fate or sheer luck that his wallet was returned to him 30-40 years after it went missing. there is no magical mystical force that is bringing his wallet back to him.

it was me. it'll be returned on my time, my whim, my desire.

that's how the universe works.

You know, I had forgotten why I had you Farkied as an a-hole. Thanks for reminding me!


you sound lame
 
2013-02-15 02:28:09 AM  

Svlad Cjelli: DownDaRiver: Mikey1969: DownDaRiver: They goodness for the internet and personal blogging/twitt/??...
Or else the world would never have known that this dude got his panties in a wad about not receiving the gracious grattitude he thought he was due!!
Who gives a F***!!!!

"Thank you" isn't too much to ask for. Please make sure to sign all envelopes of money you may carry around, so everyone will know who out there is too much of a prick to even bother giving the money back to.

I didn't say that the guy who lost the money wasn't a dick for not being more appreciative by saying a simple 'Thank You'.
I just said that who gives a F***!!


It seems you give a F***! So much so you had to post twice to make sure everyone knew the extent of your concern. Though I think you intended otherwise. ;)


You don't know me.
You don't know what I was thinking or why I was thinkng it.
You want to make a comment about something I said, fine. But don't come off as though you know something when you don't.
 
2013-02-15 05:07:10 AM  

Skyrmion: My CSB:

One time, when I was buying a bus ticket at a bar (it was also the local Greyhound Agent), this guy next to me was in a huge hurry. He finished up his transaction then ran out of the bar. Several seconds later, I notice that he's left his wallet on the bar. I take it outside and look for him and I see him running down the sidewalk, maybe 30 or 40 yards away. I shout out to him that he dropped his wallet -- doesn't hear me, still running. Then, instead of trying to chase him down, I decide to throw his wallet at him. So I wind up, give it a good heave and... perfect throw! It whacks him right in the back! He stops, looks around confused for a bit, then finds his wallet and picks it up.

I waved to him and he eventually saw me and waved back, then kept on his way. In hindsight, I wish I had just snuck back inside before he saw me, leaving him to wonder where his wallet came from.


That's farking awesome.
/ASB!
 
2013-02-15 08:21:16 AM  
My CSB:

My Father-in-Law was stationed with the US Army in Germany immediately after WWII for 5-6 years.  He was living in an appartment in Karlsruhe and found a stash of documents behind a radiator.  One was an internal travel document book for a young student from 1936 (or at least that's what my 1 year of high school German and Google translate helped me figure out).  It was very Nazi.  He kept it.

Fast forward to 2004.  My Father-in-Law has just died and I was going through his stuff.  I find the document and out of curiousity google the name.  Turns out the guy actually made it through the war (a rarity for a 20-something German man in those times) and went on to become a physics professor of some note.  He had a Wikipedia page on the German version of the site.  He had died a few years prior.  I did find a scholarship in his honor so I emailed the contact person for the scholarship describing what I had and seeing if they wanted it.  Turns out the administrator of the scholarship was the guy's best friend and was very happy to have the book sent to him.

This probably assures my beatification and eventual sainthood upon my death.
 
2013-02-15 09:49:40 AM  
taurusowner: The leather wallet I use to this day I found on the ground in a parking lot about 7 years ago totally empty. I hope whoever lost it/got robbed didn't lose too much. It's a pretty nice wallet.

Eww and/or gross.

Lol, why is that ew? It's a wallet, not anal beads.


Nor is it anal lube. Friend of mine swears she was in the checkout line at Goodwill one day, and the gentleman ahead of her purchased a partially-emptied container of K-Y. 1) Why would the nice folks at Goodwill put that on their shelf; and 2) Why in the name of all that's holy would you buy it?

Also, I as well am currently using a wallet that I found, empty, in a parking lot. Cool story, bro.
 
2013-02-15 11:52:20 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: BigNumber12: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: /Work; it does a body good. Perhaps you should try it.

Because I don't touch dirt or ink, I'm not "working." Got it.

Better send Obama a note letting him know that the American People aren't going to tolerate his farking around all day anymore.

Lemme explain it for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_%28physics%29

In other words, if your feet rest on a desk, you're in a position. If your feet rest firmly on the floor, you are conducting work. Understand?



I took 2 semesters of Engineering Physics, among other things. I'm pretty good with physics.

\not electromagnetic waves, light, and optics
\\because fark that shiat
 
2013-02-15 12:03:15 PM  
Hey, I finally have a CSB!

Back when I lived in South Florida, there was a new plaza that had a large amount of foot traffic and popular hangouts. I was walking with my wife one Friday evening, and saw a man in a wheelchair go through a crosswalk, and as his chair bumped the sidewalk, I saw his wallet fall out and land by the curb.

I couldn't get his attention, but saw which direction he went in, I got the wallet, and it was full of cash. I looked at his license to get his name, and we went searching for him. Caught up to him quickly - and he was in line at a register to make a purchase. We walked up and said "Excuse me, are you "NAME"?". He said yes (I knew it was him, we were just having fun), and asked how we knew him. We told him we saw his name on his drivers license, and then handed him back his wallet.

He seemed shocked, and he hadn't even realized he'd lost it yet. He said thanks, we said you're welcome, and to have a good night.  I like to think we gave him a fun story, and wifey and I got to feel good by doing the right thing.
 
2013-02-15 12:26:26 PM  
meh, put the cash in yer pocket and hand over the wallet
if they're good people
then you hand it over and everyone is happy

if they suck like a human black hole...vindication
 
2013-02-15 01:27:54 PM  

Begoggle: "I hope it's all there."

Makes sense to me.
Just because the guy who handed it to him didn't take anything, it doesn't mean someone else didn't.


I found an envelope with $1500 in it on the sidewalk the other day. So I took out $300 and put it back.

/csb
 
2013-02-15 05:48:18 PM  
Meh.

Subby must be a chick because the guy wasn't that bad.

A jerk? Sure. An azz-****-ish comment? Absolutely/

But 'the biggest douchebag imaginable'?

Not by a long shot.
 
2013-02-15 06:51:59 PM  

rufus-t-firefly: WhoopAssWayne: "Just because [somebody's got] a beard and tattoos and [they're] dirty doesn't mean they're bad people."

Sorry dude, but 99% of people are going to get the wrong impression if that's how you present yourself. You can complain of the unfairness, but that snap judgement of your character based on your appearance is going to happen no matter what, so just consider that you may be doing yourself a disservice.

So what's a black dude supposed to do? Get the Michael Jackson makeover?


waynebrady.jpg
 
2013-02-16 12:03:57 AM  
I've lost about five wallets and never gotten any back, also maybe found five and sent them back.

Due some karma next time I lose one.
 
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