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(io9)   12th-century prophecy by Irish archbishop claims Benedict XVI's resignation brings doomsday upon us. Mayans unavailable for comment   (io9.com) divider line 90
    More: Scary, Pope Benedict XVI, prophecy, Discovery News, solar eclipses, John Paul II, documents, mayans  
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6857 clicks; posted to Geek » on 14 Feb 2013 at 3:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-14 01:45:21 PM
Great. Whatever. Bring it. I'm tired of all the fake outs.

Bronze Age utopia here I come.
 
2013-02-14 02:01:50 PM
blog.lib.umn.edu

"Coincidence?  READ THE BOOK!"
 
2013-02-14 02:05:06 PM
"...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.
 
2013-02-14 02:05:26 PM
Take that, Mayans! Cathocalypse FTW!
 
2013-02-14 02:07:22 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.


Sorry: San Fransisco.
 
2013-02-14 02:10:14 PM
It's just the end of the church, not the end of the world. I'm OK with this
 
2013-02-14 02:10:36 PM
To me, the most shocking thing about this, is that it's somehow not Nostradamus.

You see, History Channel? You start putting on shows about truck drivers and alligators and what's the first thing that happens? Our Nostradamus obsession falls by the wayside. We're getting prophecies from old Popes and blacksmiths and it's just anarchy!
 
2013-02-14 02:14:44 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.



I was thinking that the "awful Judge" was a reference to Stallone.
 
2013-02-14 02:18:58 PM
Yes.  That prophecy looks really legit when you take abstract facts out of pope's lives and make them fit the bill.  It's like chiseling off the corners of a square peg so it'll fit the round hole.
 
2013-02-14 02:19:45 PM

DjangoStonereaver: [blog.lib.umn.edu image 460x300]

"Coincidence?  READ THE BOOK!"


Nice flashback.
 
2013-02-14 02:23:25 PM
I'm convinced. Time to start murderin folks.
 
2013-02-14 02:26:48 PM

Sybarite: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.


I was thinking that the "awful Judge" was a reference to Stallone.


That or Simon Cowell.
 
2013-02-14 02:36:27 PM
No, enough. 2012 should have been the last of this end of the world horseshiat. The world will end when the sun burns out. By then we will have either colonized another world or evolved into a new species. Or we'll be sitting in front of our iDevice. But it's not happening in our lifetime, I don't care how much you hate your lives and wish it to be so.
 
2013-02-14 02:52:11 PM

jayhawk88: To me, the most shocking thing about this, is that it's somehow not Nostradamus.

You see, History Channel? You start putting on shows about truck drivers and alligators and what's the first thing that happens? Our Nostradamus obsession falls by the wayside. We're getting prophecies from old Popes and blacksmiths and it's just anarchy!


Actually, there's a theory that it was a Nostradamus prediction, but he didn't want to sign his name to it because it was about the Church.  Telling the Catholic Church that they were eventually doomed once they a certain number of popes might not have gone over too well.
 
2013-02-14 03:19:13 PM
"Mayans unavailable for comment"

Because they're dead due to shiatty forecasting skills.
 
2013-02-14 03:24:30 PM
Another doomsday prediction?
I'm getting mighty sick & tired of stocking and unstocking that damned underground bunker of mine. Mrs. Henry won't go in it anymore after my "canned chili" aftermath.
 
2013-02-14 03:30:17 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-02-14 03:32:05 PM

Mugato: No, enough. 2012 should have been the last of this end of the world horseshiat. The world will end when the sun burns out. By then we will have either colonized another world or evolved into a new species. Or we'll be sitting in front of our iDevice. But it's not happening in our lifetime, I don't care how much you hate your lives and wish it to be so.


I would say there is still a small chance for a nuclear apocalypse in our lifetime.
 
2013-02-14 03:34:38 PM
"Mayans unavailable for comment"

static.tvfanatic.com
 
2013-02-14 03:42:13 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Mugato: No, enough. 2012 should have been the last of this end of the world horseshiat. The world will end when the sun burns out. By then we will have either colonized another world or evolved into a new species. Or we'll be sitting in front of our iDevice. But it's not happening in our lifetime, I don't care how much you hate your lives and wish it to be so.

I would say there is still a small chance for a nuclear apocalypse in our lifetime.


I don't know. I like to think of Africa as the world's guide to the "End of the World". Europe has farked it up so much that everyday there is some sort of road warrior crap going on in some such a country. So assuming Nuclear apocalypse happens, We have relatively small pockets of land that will be un-livable (and face it, in the end of the world, I would rather live in the country on a farming village compound than a concrete desert), and the rest will just be...smaller countries, assuming EMPs manage to destroy all the worlds communication. But honestly, the Middle East seems to do fine without cell phones, so whatever.

Basically, I call the End of the World an impossibility. It's just the end of an era. Unless Jesus, then giving god his omnipotence...sure.
 
2013-02-14 03:48:20 PM
Pope Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
 
2013-02-14 03:52:09 PM

oldfarthenry: Another doomsday prediction?
I'm getting mighty sick & tired of stocking and unstocking that damned underground bunker of mine. Mrs. Henry won't go in it anymore after my "canned chili" aftermath.



Your "aftermath" is why I had to build my damned bunker.
I recommend Bean-O and Febreeze.
 
2013-02-14 03:58:00 PM
Somewhat widespread apocalypse predictions (very incomplete listing): 183
Correct apocalypse predictions: 0

I'm obviously pretty nervous about this one though, it seems legit.
 
2013-02-14 04:10:12 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.

Sorry: San Fransisco.


well the 49ers were destroyed in the super bowl, so maybe the catholic church will just go bankrupt and we'll get a less-flashy end of the world
 
2013-02-14 04:10:15 PM

pastorkius: Somewhat widespread apocalypse predictions (very incomplete listing): 183
Correct apocalypse predictions: 0

I'm obviously pretty nervous about this one though, it seems legit.



Still better odds than the Powerball
 
2013-02-14 04:11:27 PM
Damn Irish!
 
2013-02-14 04:11:52 PM
Why is it that most of this end of the world prophacy BS usually comes from people that don't look at enough internet porn?
 
2013-02-14 04:13:40 PM
Imagine a world where children aren't given to authority figures to be raped by their pious, stupid parents.

BRING ON THE END TIMES!
 
2013-02-14 04:13:51 PM

pastorkius: Somewhat widespread apocalypse predictions (very incomplete listing): 183
Correct apocalypse predictions: 0

I'm obviously pretty nervous about this one though, it seems legit.


you know who said "i correctly predicted the end of the world"? nobody ever
 
2013-02-14 04:17:02 PM
Well, I'll not go canceling any reservations or anything.
I lost a bundle on that 2012 winter solstice booking, and all for nothing.

Hypnozombie
 
2013-02-14 04:22:41 PM

AdamK: pastorkius: Somewhat widespread apocalypse predictions (very incomplete listing): 183
Correct apocalypse predictions: 0

I'm obviously pretty nervous about this one though, it seems legit.

you know who said "i correctly predicted the end of the world"? nobody ever


Oh weird!  How does that work???
 
2013-02-14 04:32:05 PM
Thats the real reason for the end of the world BS. Its gonna be a black pope.
 
2013-02-14 04:32:52 PM
www.ivg.it
 
2013-02-14 04:34:27 PM
And then it turned out that Benedict XVI himself was a horcrux.
/Gandalf and Snape rode jet packs together.
 
2013-02-14 04:36:00 PM
I blame O'Bama.
 
2013-02-14 04:38:06 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Sybarite: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.


I was thinking that the "awful Judge" was a reference to Stallone.

That or Simon Cowell.


Oh god, it's Nikki Minaj!  That's it, we're boned.
 
2013-02-14 04:42:01 PM
*16th-century "prophecy" falsely attributed to 12-century Irish archbishop
 
2013-02-14 04:42:41 PM
it was a mis-translation.  The original Irish saint wasn't St. Malachy, it was St. Malarky.

Quite the prankster that Malarky.

and that is why we have Marmelade today.

// almost a blacksmithing trifecta
/ no, I have no reason to say that.
 
2013-02-14 04:43:17 PM
As for the doomsday pope, one would think we are quite safe: according to church tradition, no pope can take the name Peter II.
However, one of the favorites to succeed Benedict XVI is Ghanaian Cardinal Turkson. His first name is Peter.


Also running for title Cardinal Peter Erdo, of Budapest, and Cardinal Odilo Pedro Scherer, of São Paulo.
 
2013-02-14 04:45:45 PM
Were all to be judged by the awful judge. Is that a good way to describe god? The only thing I fear about being judged awfully is the awful part.
 
2013-02-14 04:52:38 PM
www.theforce.net
Something, something ... complete.

/I care a lot.
 
2013-02-14 04:56:01 PM

Lonestar: [www.ivg.it image 800x538]


I hope he is the one elected.  The butthurt will be glorious.
 
2013-02-14 04:58:54 PM
"According to the premonition, Peter the Roman would "feed his flock amid many tribulations "

sounds like something a god damn Canadian would do.
 
2013-02-14 05:11:43 PM
See, this is why Benedict should have taken George Ringo as his regnal name.

We'd have John Paul, and then George Ringo, and then the reign of the Popes would end with..

Peter the Best.
 
2013-02-14 05:14:09 PM
This claim has been made about the last three Popes. Baloney!
 
2013-02-14 05:20:04 PM
Seems legit. The only question is which seven-hilled city will be destroyed.

/I vote Staten Island
 
2013-02-14 05:24:35 PM
If the next Pope is black, will he take the name, Malcolm XI?
 
2013-02-14 05:25:31 PM

Supes: Seems legit. The only question is which seven-hilled city will be destroyed.

/I vote Staten Island


Winnipeg has 7 man made snow chutes.....
 
2013-02-14 05:31:23 PM

A Terrible Human: /Gandalf and Snape rode jet packs together.


SPOILER ALERT!!!!
 
2013-02-14 05:35:37 PM
I've always been far more creeped out by these prophecies: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Secrets_of_F%C3%A1tima

And I vaguely remember one from some girls in Mexico(?) that had needles put in their eyes (to test them!) while supposedly communing with God/archangel/Mary/whatever.  I, also vaguely, remember seeing grainy b&w video of them but my Google skills find nothing.

/Atheist
//Still find this kind of stuff interesting if only because the believers are <i>so sure</i>.
///Ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?
 
2013-02-14 05:47:53 PM
While the prophesy is bunk evidence indicates that the College of Cardinals has been referring to the list in electing Popes at least since the  20th century. The current pope for example was a Benedictine indicating that he was selected with the prophesy in mind.
 
2013-02-14 06:28:15 PM
Has there EVAR been a single prophecy that wasn't utter BS?

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?
 
2013-02-14 06:40:28 PM
Um...

"The silence of 400 years on the part of so many learned authors who had written about the popes, and the silence of St. Bernard especially, who wrote the "Life of St. Malachy", is a strong argument against their authenticity, but it is not conclusive if we adopt Cucherat's theory that they were hidden in the Archives during those 400 years. "

and

"The last of these prophecies concerns the end of the world and is as follows: "In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations, after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End." It has been noticed concerning Petrus Romanus, who according to St. Malachy's list is to be the last pope, that the prophecy does not say that no popes will intervene between him and his predecessor designated Gloria olivæ. It merely says that he is to be the last, so that we may suppose as many popes as we please before "Peter the Roman"."

and...

"These do not enlighten us any more than do the Scriptural prophecies as to the day and the hour of that judgment, which still remains a Divine secret."

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12473a.htm#malachy

Certainly not doctrine though.
 
2013-02-14 06:41:42 PM

Delawheredad: While the prophesy is bunk evidence indicates that the College of Cardinals has been referring to the list in electing Popes at least since the  20th century. The current pope for example was a Benedictine indicating that he was selected with the prophesy in mind.


Benedict never had anything to do with the Benedictines, he just chose the name Benedict, maybe because HE believes in the prophecy. For the vast majority of Popes since the 16th century, finding any sort of link is a real stretch.
 
2013-02-14 06:58:26 PM
I was wondering when we'd get another one of these.
 
2013-02-14 07:08:10 PM
As cool as that sounds, how awesome would it be to deny the prophecy? Let's do it for the dinosaurs.
 
2013-02-14 07:45:38 PM
not this farking crap again...
 
2013-02-14 07:48:32 PM
FTA: "It ends with the 112th pope, named "Petrus Romanus" or "Peter the Roman."

Well then, make sure the next pope isn't named Peter.  Problem solved.
 
2013-02-14 07:51:24 PM
Turns out in the end that "Peter the Roman"s real name is Andre.  And the mystical book was actually Italian gay romance novel.

www.coffeecoffeeandmorecoffee.com

/Obscure?
 
2013-02-14 07:52:34 PM
Nonsense; why, just after the last Papal resignation, the French were defeated at Agincou...

Never mind, carry on your holiness.
 
2013-02-14 08:22:18 PM
It's not the end of the world, just the end of the church.
 
2013-02-14 08:37:11 PM
12And Lo, before me rose an Awful Judge, crowned in plastic and shame and he doth mumble unto us, "Uuuah uuh o bauuu adrian"

comicbook.com

The end of days is near people. Repent your sins
 
2013-02-14 08:44:45 PM

Supes: Seems legit. The only question is which seven-hilled city will be destroyed.

/I vote Staten Island


Well I hope it's not Albany.

/my credit union is there
//parents and in-laws are nearby
///actually like my in-laws
 
2013-02-14 08:45:23 PM
Enough with the old, wrinkly white men.

Bring on the midget Eskimo lesbian Pope!
 
2013-02-14 09:23:16 PM

Delawheredad: While the prophesy is bunk evidence indicates that the College of Cardinals has been referring to the list in electing Popes at least since the  20th century. The current pope for example was a Benedictine indicating that he was selected with the prophesy in mind.


John Paul II was reportedly a big fan of the Fatima prophecies and according to some accounts was featured prominently in one of them.  The one about a pope getting shot
 
2013-02-14 09:30:37 PM

Magorn: Delawheredad: While the prophesy is bunk evidence indicates that the College of Cardinals has been referring to the list in electing Popes at least since the  20th century. The current pope for example was a Benedictine indicating that he was selected with the prophesy in mind.

John Paul II was reportedly a big fan of the Fatima prophecies and according to some accounts was featured prominently in one of them.  The one about a pope getting shot


The the next pope should be Italian, right?
 
2013-02-14 10:27:08 PM
Religious people falling for superstition? That's a first.
 
2013-02-14 10:49:47 PM

DuudeStanky: 12And Lo, before me rose an Awful Judge, crowned in plastic and shame and he doth mumble unto us, "Uuuah uuh o bauuu adrian"

[comicbook.com image 500x287]

The end of days is near people. Repent your sins


Strangely enough, and a sure sign of the end of days, the new one wasn't a giant ball of suck.

pmcmovieline.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-14 11:01:43 PM
Is the post-apocalyptic image at the top of TFA from Constantine?
 
2013-02-14 11:04:04 PM

Calmamity: Great. Whatever. Bring it. I'm tired of all the fake outs.

Bronze Age utopia here I come.


Bronze age collapse, I think you mean.
 
2013-02-14 11:13:27 PM

wambu: Magorn: Delawheredad: While the prophesy is bunk evidence indicates that the College of Cardinals has been referring to the list in electing Popes at least since the  20th century. The current pope for example was a Benedictine indicating that he was selected with the prophesy in mind.

John Paul II was reportedly a big fan of the Fatima prophecies and according to some accounts was featured prominently in one of them.  The one about a pope getting shot

The the next pope should be Italian, right?


if the Malachy thing were true,which it almost certainly isn't,  the next one is named Peter the Roman, so most have assumed that will B he Italian but I recall years ago hearing some talk from people to take the sort of thing seriously that somehow there was some sort of prophetic hint in the text that despite his name Peter the Roman was actually supposed to be a black man
 
2013-02-14 11:44:43 PM

Supes: Seems legit. The only question is which seven-hilled city will be destroyed.

/I vote Staten Island

If it was Sheffield, UK, people would be praising the improvements.
 
2013-02-15 12:04:42 AM
Doomsday == Condoms
 
2013-02-15 12:21:51 AM

Rockstone: "The silence of 400 years on the part of so many learned authors who had written about the popes, and the silence of St. Bernard especially, who wrote the "Life of St. Malachy", is a strong argument against their authenticity, but it is not conclusive if we adopt Cucherat's theory that they were hidden in the Archives during those 400 years. "


Lessee...the prophecies are pretty accurate for the 60 popes in the 400 years between St. Malachy and their finding...and are pretty vague after.  It's almost definitely a hoax.
 
2013-02-15 12:42:43 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "...The City of the Seven Hills shall be utterly destroyed, and the awful Judge will judge the people."

I think this means that LA will be destroyed and that Scalia will be promoted to Chief Justice.

Judge Dredd..
 
2013-02-15 01:23:24 AM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 02:36:09 AM
How is it the people who proport to believe the Bible most are the ones who keep missing that pesky "no man will know the day" line?
 
2013-02-15 02:50:23 AM

Shadowtag: How is it the people who proport to believe the Bible most are the ones who keep missing that pesky "no man will know the day" line?


Because most Christians don't read their Bibles.

/it's not a scary/morbid book, actually quite interesting
 
2013-02-15 08:12:05 AM
Pfft...

www.potaroo.net

See that date in the middle of 2014?  THAT is Doomsday.
 
2013-02-15 09:08:25 AM

SpdrJay: Has there EVAR been a single prophecy that wasn't utter BS?

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?


The first one to come to mind is the prophecy concerning the Babylonian, Mede-Persian, Greek, and Roman empires as written by the Prophet Daniel. Very accurate, especially looking at Alexander the Great.

There are also many others that have come to pass, some even in modern day. Too many to list here and I'm sure that you'd disagree with a chunk of them for being intra-Biblical (though time spans would have been large between prophecy and result).
 
2013-02-15 10:32:07 AM

Magorn: wambu:The the next pope should be Italian, right?

if the Malachy thing were true,which it almost certainly isn't, the next one is named Peter the Roman, so most have assumed that will B he Italian but I recall years ago hearing some talk from people to take the sort of thing seriously that somehow there was some sort of prophetic hint in the text that despite his name Peter the Roman was actually supposed to be a black man


So African-Italian. There's a lot of them.
 
2013-02-15 10:58:46 AM

Lonestar: Thats the real reason for the end of the world BS. Its gonna be a black pope.


I wish my racist Irish Catholic Grandma was lucid enough to see a black pope come to power. I'd think she would have a heart attack on the spot.

/Dementia
//Don't feel bad Fark, she was a petty biatch.
 
2013-02-15 12:33:04 PM

Mad_Radhu: "Mayans unavailable for comment"


Neither is Opie.
 
2013-02-15 01:13:07 PM

parkerlewis: FTA: "It ends with the 112th pope, named "Petrus Romanus" or "Peter the Roman."

Well then, make sure the next pope isn't named Peter.  Problem solved.


Technically since all popes are the successors of St Peter and hold his seat in Rome, they're all Peter the Roman.

Vague prophecy is ludicrously vague.
 
2013-02-15 01:33:43 PM

kazrak: See, this is why Benedict should have taken George Ringo as his regnal name.

We'd have John Paul, and then George Ringo, and then the reign of the Popes would end with..

Peter the Best.


i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-15 02:15:00 PM

wambu: Magorn: wambu:The the next pope should be Italian, right?

if the Malachy thing were true,which it almost certainly isn't, the next one is named Peter the Roman, so most have assumed that will B he Italian but I recall years ago hearing some talk from people to take the sort of thing seriously that somehow there was some sort of prophetic hint in the text that despite his name Peter the Roman was actually supposed to be a black man

So African-Italian. There's a lot of them.


demonsresume.files.wordpress.com
Agrees
 
2013-02-15 02:53:31 PM

SpdrJay: Has there EVAR been a single prophecy that wasn't utter BS?

Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?


armegeddon

book it.
 
2013-02-15 03:46:36 PM
So, a 113th Pope means the Mormons were right?
 
2013-02-15 04:28:41 PM

Slaves2Darkness: So, a 113th Pope means the Mormons were right?


So we all need fancy undewear now?
 
2013-02-15 04:33:29 PM

Slaves2Darkness: So, a 113th Pope means the Mormons were right?


Well, technically, the prophecy of St. Malachy doesn't number the last pope, who is the pope who presides at the end of the world, meaning that there could be any number of popes between 112 and Petrus Romanus.

Thus, since we have concluded the list of 112 "knowns", we're just through counting the ones we "know".
 
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