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(Newser)   What do you do with an ex-pope? If you happen to know, call Rome, because the Church isn't sure yet   (newser.com) divider line 57
    More: Interesting, pope, Thomas Reese  
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8251 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 12:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-14 11:02:10 AM
4 votes:
Well, if Celestine V was any indication, then the thing you do with an ex-Pope is to have the successor pope imprison Benedict XVI in the Vatican until he dies.
2013-02-14 10:26:37 AM
4 votes:
nominate him for beatification
nominate him for beatification
nominate him for beatification
er-lie in the morning

- or -

indict him on abetting child rape
indict him on abetting child rape
indict him on abetting child rape
er-lie in the morning
2013-02-14 01:14:31 PM
3 votes:
He's a tired old man that just wants to spend his remaining days in quiet contemplation.  To suggest he will become a rival power is people looking to create drama and intrigue where there is none.  He alread HAS all the power stepping down to become "another center of power" is idiotic.
2013-02-14 01:00:03 PM
3 votes:
"it's better to have him here than somewhere else, where he could become another center of power. "

I hear the weather is nice in Avignon
2013-02-14 12:31:54 PM
3 votes:
The thing that's interesting to me is what happens theologically. I get that the Papacy can do no wrong, spiritually. But, the system of succession involves one old guy dying and a new one taking his place.

If they elect a more liberal pope and Benedict disagrees with him on some point of faith, who is right? The current guy or the guy that did it first? If it's the current guy, then does that mean that stopping to be Pope means you magically stop being 100% right about Catholicism - like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?
2013-02-14 11:03:24 AM
3 votes:
If I was him I'd retire from the whole thing. Priesthood and all. Swipe some of the shinny stuff on the way out and spend the rest of my days whoring and drinking.
2013-02-14 01:56:57 PM
2 votes:

opaqueluminosity: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The thing that's interesting to me is what happens theologically. I get that the Papacy can do no wrong, spiritually. But, the system of succession involves one old guy dying and a new one taking his place.

If they elect a more liberal pope and Benedict disagrees with him on some point of faith, who is right? The current guy or the guy that did it first? If it's the current guy, then does that mean that stopping to be Pope means you magically stop being 100% right about Catholicism - like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?

They already thought of that.


I don't understand how the author of that link could both thoroughly describe what papal infallibility means, and yet in the very next paragraph, show that he (she?) has absolutely no understanding of what was just written ("While Benedict will have to drop his claim to being right all the time....").

Here is a link to the official Catholic understanding of papal infallibility.  Essentially all it means is that only in matters of faith and morals, the Pope isn't wrong.  But that's it.  So how the Pope (and past Popes) chose to handle child molestation isn't infallible from the Church perspective; thank God or else I don't know how anyone could support the Church at this point.  Policies like no female priests and no birth control within marriage would also be outside of papal infallibily since they're not directly moral or faith issues.  On the other hand, an example of a view that would be infallible would be extramarital sex, since that's a direct moral issue.

Not saying that this belief is right.  However, just trying to clear up the idea of infallibility.
2013-02-14 01:10:06 PM
2 votes:
My vote is put him trial for aiding and abetting child rape, obstruction of justice, and probably dozens of more.
2013-02-14 01:08:29 PM
2 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The thing that's interesting to me is what happens theologically. I get that the Papacy can do no wrong, spiritually. But, the system of succession involves one old guy dying and a new one taking his place.

If they elect a more liberal pope and Benedict disagrees with him on some point of faith, who is right? The current guy or the guy that did it first? If it's the current guy, then does that mean that stopping to be Pope means you magically stop being 100% right about Catholicism - like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?


They already thought of that.
2013-02-14 12:58:44 PM
2 votes:
I read in several articles that he was going to join a monastery in the territory of the Vatican City.

Problem solved.

One, I doubt seriously that the Vatican City has an extradition treaty with any of the countries where somebody might have the effrontery to charge the Pope with anything for any reason.

Two, if the next Pope should wish to consult with him on any religious matters (he does have some expertise and prides himself on his scholarly writings), he would be close to hand.

The Vatican likes to keep its enemies close and its scandals even closer.
2013-02-14 12:57:02 PM
2 votes:
Go the Judge Dredd route.  Give him a bible and a gun, and send him off into the wilderness.
2013-02-14 12:42:23 PM
2 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The thing that's interesting to me is what happens theologically. I get that the Papacy can do no wrong, spiritually. But, the system of succession involves one old guy dying and a new one taking his place.

If they elect a more liberal pope and Benedict disagrees with him on some point of faith, who is right? The current guy or the guy that did it first? If it's the current guy, then does that mean that stopping to be Pope means you magically stop being 100% right about Catholicism - like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?


FTFA:  "These powers go with the office, so they will pass to the next pope,"

So it looks like it's the hat that grants infallibility.  Funny, I always thought it was God, but I guess he's less a part of the church hierarchy than I thought.

You learn something new about the Catholic church every day.
2013-02-14 11:32:47 AM
2 votes:
b.vimeocdn.com
2013-02-14 11:12:15 AM
2 votes:
Hire him back for more money as an independent consultant.
2013-02-14 08:15:01 PM
1 votes:

WhyteRaven74: His previous job title was Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, in centuries past the job title was Grand Inquisitor. Perhaps not the best pope material.


After the Spanish Inqusition; the office of the Inqusition lost a lot of its power to act independently of the papacy. In fact; the Prefect of the Sacred congregation of the doctrine of the Faith was one of the pope's many titles for several centuries after the end of the Inqusition. Only in the last 60 years or so has someone else headed that particular office.

/ it has something to do with not expecting the Spanish Inqusition
2013-02-14 05:53:51 PM
1 votes:

Paris1127: //Ben Franklin was the Boobiesmaster General of the United States


And I'm insanely jealous.
2013-02-14 03:53:06 PM
1 votes:

BigNumber12: From the sound of it, you were only describing his Boobieshumous trial.


I guess the Fark Filter doesn't allow descriptions of people's having multiple posthumous trials.
2013-02-14 03:41:40 PM
1 votes:

Paris1127: static.flickr.com
And if Formosus is any indication, after being buried for a year his corpse should be exhumed and put on trial. After being found guilty, he should have several fingers used for consecration cut off and his corpse thrown into the Tiber.



After reading the Wikipedia article on that:

What
the
fark?


From the sound of it, you were only describing his Boobieshumous trial.
2013-02-14 03:41:33 PM
1 votes:
Just spitballing outside the box here, but...
Sodomize him?

Like, a lot?
2013-02-14 03:13:03 PM
1 votes:
The Holy Saw?
2013-02-14 02:56:16 PM
1 votes:

CygnusDarius: Ex-Popes were usually sent to exile, or killed, because they usually rallied their own personal armies with them. I mean, kings in europe had to be concerned with the pope's freaking army.

... Wait...


Medieval and Renaissance Popes were just another king with added religious power. The popes ruled the Papal States right in the center of Italy. Vatican City is the last vestige of it. Popes have commanded armies or had their "nephews" command them for them. The Papacy at one point was a major political power.
2013-02-14 02:41:19 PM
1 votes:
Hand him a bible and a survival pack.  His mission is to bring the Word of God to the nonbelievers of the Waste Lands.
2013-02-14 02:09:38 PM
1 votes:
I'm hoping he'll show up on TV in shirtsleeves after a few months with a confessional presser...

"I stepped down as pope, not because of unspecified "health issues" as reported, but because of something worse. After the seemingly-neverending series of sex abuse cases involving the Church's clergy, I began to question why we kept covering up these atrocities in the name of God. Then I looked at how our stern opposition to family planning and access to reproductive services was causing untold social damages in Africa and South America. And I thought, "This is not what a loving and merciful God would want for his children; why would He allow us to act this way in His name?" I begged God to intercede...for months...and He never spoke. That's when I realized that He doesn't exist, except as a cultural construct representing a set of social mores. And what the Church had done...was doing...is doing...is nothing more than enforcing one view of how to live your life; one fraught with unaccountable abuse and needless suffering. Thus, I am here today to announce that I have become an atheist, and suggest that you all carefully re-examine your lives every day. Life is too short to harm others. Disregard anyone's direction if it leads to hurting others, whether they are the pope, terrorists, special correspondants on Fox News, or Paul Ryan. Be kind to each other. Now, if you'll excuse me, my friend Silvio has some ladies in the limo that we need to get back to his villa..."
2013-02-14 02:02:59 PM
1 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: The thing that's interesting to me is what happens theologically. I get that the Papacy can do no wrong, spiritually. But, the system of succession involves one old guy dying and a new one taking his place.

If they elect a more liberal pope and Benedict disagrees with him on some point of faith, who is right? The current guy or the guy that did it first? If it's the current guy, then does that mean that stopping to be Pope means you magically stop being 100% right about Catholicism - like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?


Papal infallibility (his ability to speak authoritatively on manners of faith) would be lost, since papal infallibility is considered a mark of the Church, and it only goes to the Pope.

In practice, papal infallibility is demonstrated by leading the parade from the rear.  Large numbers of lay and clerical Orthodox and Catholics believed in the Immaculate Conception from the 7th Century onward but only made dogma in 1854, about 150 years after December 8 was set aside as the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.  The Assumption was made an official feast in the Eighth Century and became dogma in 1950.  The Marian rumor mills were buzzing about Mary being named as Co-Redemptrix with Christ, claiming that Pope John Paul II would declare it as dogma.  He did no such thing -- that would be going far in advance of popular/lay and clerical faith.
2013-02-14 02:01:57 PM
1 votes:
TWO MEN ENTER; ONE POPE LEAVES!!!!!
2013-02-14 01:57:13 PM
1 votes:
unlikely:He should write a book about kiddie diddling. It should be called "If I Diddled It"
2013-02-14 01:49:23 PM
1 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: like God has a switch that he flips the second the new guy puts on the big hat?


Correct. God only talks to the Pope. If there is a disagreement between the two, it's because Ratzinger didn't properly interpret God, and so God is sending a correction to the new messenger.
2013-02-14 01:42:08 PM
1 votes:
How is this not the greatest Photoshop challenge of all time?
2013-02-14 01:40:03 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Ezio knows just what to do with him...
2013-02-14 01:38:58 PM
1 votes:
i1171.photobucket.com
2013-02-14 01:32:48 PM
1 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: What's the Italian word for "Boca Raton, Florida"?


"Avignon"
2013-02-14 01:32:37 PM
1 votes:
Send him back to the university to teach.  That is where he probably wants to go.
2013-02-14 01:30:42 PM
1 votes:

Fizpez: He's a tired old man that just wants to spend his remaining days in quiet contemplation.  To suggest he will become a rival power is people looking to create drama and intrigue where there is none.  He alread HAS all the power stepping down to become "another center of power" is idiotic.


Sometimes it isn't about what the person wants but about how people behave around him. What if people kept coming to him for advise? Or ignored the new pope becauae the old pope would never have done X?

My advise would be this:

24.media.tumblr.com

/Just keep him away from musketeers
2013-02-14 01:23:15 PM
1 votes:

Godscrack: I don't normally make anti-religious comments here on Fark, but what has he really done?

What was his mission? To be worshiped and prayed to? like a God?


His job is to make the Catholics Church stronger than when he started. There is some debate as to whether that should be interpreted as having more members, or controlling more wealth.
2013-02-14 01:21:07 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: If I was him I'd retire from the whole thing. Priesthood and all. Swipe some of the shinny stuff on the way out and spend the rest of my days whoring and drinking.


Lannister? Is that you?
2013-02-14 01:18:05 PM
1 votes:

DamnYankees: Who gives a shiat. Let him rent an apartment and watch TV.


That would be one heck of a great web show.

The Pope watching TV and commenting on it like Beavis & Butthead. Eleven minute episodes.

Holy Father
Starring Pope Benedict XVI

Papa:  Sin, sin, sin, sin, 125 channels and nothing on any of them but sin! Look at this shiat! Fox News--pure Protestant heresy. Mel Gibson--heresy! Sister Wendy. What kind of name is Wendy? Pure pap, the nattering old witcdh. And all these reality shows. How do they manage to make sin so boring? If we could do that we'd whip the human race into shape in a generation. Look at that fat American biotch! Such disgraceful gluttony! Where's an albino monk when you need one?

Sister Charity: Yes, Holy Father.

Papa: Such tripe. This show sucks. Change it.

Sister Charity: Yes, Holy Father (pushes button on remote, which is screwed to the arm of the Pope's chair)

Papa: Now this a Good Catholic could almost watch. Almost. Change it!

Sister Charity: Yes, Holy Father.

Papa: Who's this? A plump, smarmy fascist Jew nattering on about morality. If I wanted that, I'd watch Bill Maher. Change it! If there's one thing I can't stand it's an American neo-con. White-washed tombs, the lot of them.

Sister Charity: Yes, Holy Father.

Papa: Nature show. Full of God's glorious handiwork. If it wasn't spoiled by animals rutting like frat boys on Spring Break. Change it. No, wait. Change it back. I've seen one of those. It was when I was in the Hitler Youth. We did a lot of hiking. Nothing like hiking to keep the unseemly urges at bay. What do they call 'em? Birds. Yes, I've seen that bird before. It's a canary. Why the Hell it's seven feet tall and talking to a Mammoth I don't know. Change it.

Sister Charity: Yes, Holy Father.

***

Oh, well. It's not a great script but it would do for a pilot. It's just off the top of my head. Some re-writing and I could work in some good material.
2013-02-14 01:13:15 PM
1 votes:
This has all the makings of one hell of a geriatric buddy picture...
2013-02-14 01:04:25 PM
1 votes:
Traditionally an ex-pope is locked away somewhere to rot, dies under mysterious circumstance, is out-right murdered, or sent into exile. I'm voting for locked away somewhere to rot for protecting child-abusers.
2013-02-14 01:04:07 PM
1 votes:

Gig103: I'd knock him back down to priest (don't give him his Cardinalship back), and send him off to proselytize in Africa.

Or send him to Craggy Isle


That's a litle harsh, I mean that money was only resting in his account.
2013-02-14 01:02:16 PM
1 votes:
I'd knock him back down to priest (don't give him his Cardinalship back), and send him off to proselytize in Africa.

Or send him to Craggy Isle
2013-02-14 01:00:00 PM
1 votes:
Protocol School of Washington's answer
2013-02-14 12:56:03 PM
1 votes:
I imagine he'll die shortly after leaving office, given his reason for leaving in the first place... so this point may be moot.
2013-02-14 12:55:57 PM
1 votes:

KarmicDisaster: Hire him back for more money as an independent consultant.


You must work in IT.
2013-02-14 12:54:52 PM
1 votes:
In seven hundred years we'll all look back on this and laugh.
2013-02-14 12:47:32 PM
1 votes:
Colbert covered this on his show on Monday night. His guest suggested that the Pope was gonna to to a convent where he would remain cloistered till he drops.
2013-02-14 12:39:00 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: If I was him I'd retire from the whole thing. Priesthood and all. Swipe some of the shinny stuff on the way out and spend the rest of my days whoring and drinking.


He should write a book about kiddie diddling. It should be called "If I Did It"
2013-02-14 12:24:15 PM
1 votes:
You keep him on hand to threaten the new pope with, the same way our capitalist masters keep an army of unemployed to keep you in line.
2013-02-14 12:02:37 PM
1 votes:

RexTalionis: Well, if Celestine V was any indication, then the thing you do with an ex-Pope is to have the successor pope imprison Benedict XVI in the Vatican until he dies.


static.flickr.com
And if Formosus is any indication, after being buried for a year his corpse should be exhumed and put on trial. After being found guilty, he should have several fingers used for consecration cut off and his corpse thrown into the Tiber.
2013-02-14 11:45:20 AM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Cryogenically freeze him

/you know where this is going....


He could be the Grover Cleveland of popes.
2013-02-14 11:29:39 AM
1 votes:
Where ever they put him we've heard the last from him.
2013-02-14 11:22:14 AM
1 votes:
Have him investigate Benghazi.
2013-02-14 11:07:37 AM
1 votes:
Walmart greeter?
2013-02-14 11:05:30 AM
1 votes:
The new gossip colomnist for L'Observatoire Romano.
2013-02-14 11:01:55 AM
1 votes:
Send him back to seminary, see if he can work his way back up to pope.
2013-02-14 11:01:12 AM
1 votes:
Who gives a shiat. Let him rent an apartment and watch TV.
2013-02-14 10:55:55 AM
1 votes:
Let him live out his remaining days peacefully grazing on a field of young boys.
2013-02-14 10:32:19 AM
1 votes:
Pickling would seem the best preservation idea

PopePickle
/on a stick
 
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