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(IT World)   Seven frustrating things about being a programmer; a few actually don't involve end users   (itworld.com) divider line 226
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7576 clicks; posted to Geek » on 14 Feb 2013 at 12:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-14 01:47:23 PM

enigmaticsource: "s/[ ]{2}/\t//" s/[ ]{2}/\t/g
/ftfm
//damn write only code.

 
2013-02-14 01:51:08 PM

grinding_journalist: No doubt that most of you people who aren't programmers, or have never been programmers, look at those of us who are or were programmers and think, "Boy, that's gotta be a great job. Exciting, fast paced, highly compensated, well respected and, above all, extremely sexy. What's not to love about being a programmer? I wish I was one."

I am not a programmer and have never thought anything like this. I always imagined programming to be something along the lines of sitting at a desk or in a cube with a window on a screen open that could be mistaken for text edit, poring over lines of code that look like they're in a foreign language, working on a single piece of a larger program, while the boss comes by and says that there have been revisions, and your past week's worth of work is now irrelevant.


Pretty much.  But you get paid for it.


Don't get attached to code.
 
2013-02-14 01:54:02 PM
Two hard spaces or I get out The Script and we're gonna have some funny-looking commits.
 
2013-02-14 01:54:31 PM
"Here's a new project.  The requirements document is forty-pages long.  We need an hours estimate by end of day.  The project is due end of March."

Fifty-thousand.  Fifty-thousand hours for that request.  Get out of my cube.
 
2013-02-14 01:57:10 PM
I write software for robotics and automation. Machine code (programmable controller) and .NET for serving data to and from the machines. It doesn't suck, I get paid well, and nobody has a clue what I'm doing. But no matter what, there are tons of worse jobs then being a programmer.
 
2013-02-14 01:57:39 PM

traylor: The most frustrating things in 13 years:

1. Working for 1 year at my job developing games for mobiles in a very experienced C++ team with one very successful game even, the bosses decided that suddenly we will move to Java. The company closed in three months.


Did the company run out of memory?  Ahh Java, where "Hello World" needs 300MB.
 
2013-02-14 01:58:29 PM
Do places/people really enforce standing up at "standups"? This is why people hate work. Because of nonsense like this.
 
2013-02-14 01:59:32 PM
People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem
Aww poor baby, being the most technically proficient individual anybody knows sure is a burdern. Why are such a farking douche, give a guy a hand all ready.

End users not providing enough information about bugs
Oh shut the fark up. End users don't give a shiat about why or what is wrong. They don't care, it is your job to care, figure it out, and fix it. That is why you get paid the big bucks, quit being a whiner.

Storing code in the database
Is the poor little baby usless with out all his fancy tools? Yes, yes he is. What a farking whiner.


Overly zealous Scrum Masters
Bwhahahaha, you obviously don't understand why we use Agile and Scrum. The reason we use those methodologies is that you farking programmers are out of control. That methodology is all about control, it is about you stupid half-wits not doing what you are supposed to. So, you farking STAND during a STAND UP meeting, you don't touch the board, and you report your dam hours worked you farking tard or by god I'll shove this backlog up your ass so far your children will dream about it.

People ignoring documentation
No one has time for that, besides your documentation is always out of date and wrong. Sure it looks pretty, but never answers the questions.
Tabs/indents set to anything other than four characters
Okay now you are just being a tool.

Just another whiney douche bag with a Bacheolurs in CS who thinks they are indespensible.
 
2013-02-14 02:01:20 PM

slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem " Really? Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.


Came here to say this. As users, programmers are worse than old women.
 
2013-02-14 02:02:42 PM
Yeah, mission creep sorely missing and the cause of much of the bad client relations I've experienced.

TFA's last point is major also
 
2013-02-14 02:03:45 PM

Dreyelle: 1.  Lack of clear requirements
2.  changing requirements on the fly ("that's not a big change")
3.  Expecting me to do all of your testing for you
4.  Creating a project plan without input from developers and then blaming the developers for the delay.
5.  Including all the "little cosmetic issues" that bother you into a single bug fix so it becomes never ending.
6.  Forcing me to work with smelly H1-Bs


Farking Indian programmers are the worst, most arrogant, inflexible, retarded monkeys money can buy. At lest the Chinese are polite to your face, no matter what they say behind your back.
 
2013-02-14 02:09:28 PM

fluffy2097: I imagine that being a pedantic asshole like most programmers are is the most frustrating thing ever.


You want your programmers to be pedantic assholes.  Why?  Because programming effectively requires it.

You walk up to me and give me vague requirements, you probably aren't going to get what you *THINK* you were asking for, if you even had a solid idea in the first place.  The better I can pin down what you want, the happier you will be with the end product.

I mean, you wouldn't walk up to a barista in Starbucks and say "Give me a coffee" when what you really want is a tall cinnamon mocha latte, would you?  Yet I often get the same sort of thing.  Someone will say "I need a report on all X".  So I give them a basic report on all X, and it turns out that they wanted to exclude Y.  OK, so I go back and exclude Y, here you go.  "Oh, and include all Z".  Ummm.  OK.  "But this now has a Y in it".  Yes, that's right, because there are cases where Z *AND* Y are both present, and you wanted all of Z, remember?  "Stop being pedantic".

Now, that could have been avoided if the person came to me and said "I need a report with all of X, and all of Z, but I don't want to see any Y on the report".

It's all about knowing what you want before you formally ask for it, so you get what you want the first time.
 
2013-02-14 02:09:29 PM
I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.
 
2013-02-14 02:09:32 PM

highbrow45: slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem " Really? Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.

Came here to say this. As users, programmers are worse than old women.


Well I've found its all over the map, but yah the ones who don't understand the very things they are writing programs for are the bane of many's existence.

"What do you mean writing one byte at a time to disk is bad?  Just give me a faster computer like I asked, this one is too slow."
 
2013-02-14 02:09:39 PM

slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem "  Really?  Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.


That was one of the oddest things I discovered moving from a help desk to development. Working help desk was basically being an assistant-DBA, assistant-Sysadmin, system builder, networking, etc all in one job. Now I do none of that. Programmers know their code, but it's like triple the pay for a fraction of overall computer knowledge.
 
2013-02-14 02:09:57 PM

PainInTheASP: MrCrazyInsane: Is "the inability to grasp networking sorcery" on the list?

/it's not the network. Never is.

What the hell do you expect me to blame all the random bugs in my code on then?  Do you want me to tell the truth?!?

Besides, the network admins are on the other side of the campus.  They'll never hear about it anyway and if they do what's the worst that can hap


I see what you did there.

Why don't we all just agree that our real enemies are project managers?
 
2013-02-14 02:12:12 PM

XMark: Worst thing: having to make changes to an old system originally done by a programmer who used a single space for indents in PHP code, never indented any of their HTML code at all, and coded with the absolute minimum amount of whitespace possible, jamming everything together so tightly it's damn near undreadable.


Carriage returns are for pansies!
 
2013-02-14 02:12:56 PM

BumpInTheNight: traylor: The most frustrating things in 13 years:

1. Working for 1 year at my job developing games for mobiles in a very experienced C++ team with one very successful game even, the bosses decided that suddenly we will move to Java. The company closed in three months.

Did the company run out of memory?  Ahh Java, where "Hello World" needs 300MB.


No, the company run out of programmers. You see, when you are very experienced in one programming language and the boss tells you that you need to switch to a different programming language which you frown upon and you aren't even familiar with then you suddenly start looking for a different job.
 
2013-02-14 02:13:49 PM

Slaves2Darkness: People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem
Aww poor baby, being the most technically proficient individual anybody knows sure is a burdern. Why are such a farking douche, give a guy a hand all ready.


highbrow45: slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem " Really? Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.

Came here to say this. As users, programmers are worse than old women.


This may come as a surprise, but programmers are not experts in every single piece of computer software and hardware out there.
 
2013-02-14 02:14:03 PM

Dinjiin: Because People in power are Stupid: Scope Creep

That's a problem with any project, not just with computer programs.  Just make sure you have a really good discovery phase and then make it painful to introduce new requirements.


One manager says: "Let's make a sports car." Midway through manufacturing he tells you: "It's paramount that this thing is 4WD"

So then you redesign it for 4 wheel drive and then he says: "It's Manual Drive -we must make it Automatic"

Etc Etc Etc.

The sad part is that oftentimes I'm put in the middle of relegating these new tasks to our new hires.
 
2013-02-14 02:18:00 PM

China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.


You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.
 
2013-02-14 02:19:00 PM

traylor: BumpInTheNight: traylor: The most frustrating things in 13 years:

1. Working for 1 year at my job developing games for mobiles in a very experienced C++ team with one very successful game even, the bosses decided that suddenly we will move to Java. The company closed in three months.

Did the company run out of memory?  Ahh Java, where "Hello World" needs 300MB.

No, the company run out of programmers. You see, when you are very experienced in one programming language and the boss tells you that you need to switch to a different programming language which you frown upon and you aren't even familiar with then you suddenly start looking for a different job.


So, in a way, it *DID* run out of memory.
 
2013-02-14 02:19:05 PM

China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.


I do coding professional and as a hobby, and my general philosophy unless some client is going to be reading the code (ie never) or there's noticeable performance problems is that, if it is okay and it does what you need it to, that's the correct-est way.

The more anal programmers will always have "suggestions" for how THEY would do it to optimize this or that or use fewer lines of code, but in my experience this is often just them trying to flex in front of you or feel superior or it has no noticeable effect on the end user/output and thus is pointless. Like when someone at my old shop spent 2 days learning how to implement lambda functions and then broke the code trying to implement it because he wanted to impress people.

At some point you realize life is short and everything doesn't have to be optimal. Also programmers/nerds thrive on one-upsmanship and its better for your mental health to jump outside that rat race and work to improve your own happiness/enjoyment.

This is not to say advice is bad, but unless there's a known issue, why go looking for ways to refactor the code? It's just a pointless exercise. It's like the person who spends 2 hours perfecting the layout of a powerpoint slide then it's on the projector for 8 seconds in the meeting. Nice time investment.

/You should instead spend 2 minutes on the slide and 118 minutes reading news article comments
//Maybe they were already doing that
 
2013-02-14 02:20:06 PM

traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.


Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...
 
2013-02-14 02:20:15 PM

Dreyelle: 6.  Forcing me to work with smelly H1-Bs


Funny thing is, they probably feel the same about you.
 
2013-02-14 02:21:51 PM
1.  We switched to part B since part A can't match UL code.  Then why the hell have we been using part A ever?  We don't have time to test part B.

(later on)
Oh, part B doesn't quite work so we have to bring in retired expert C who wrote the original program to fix it.

-  This happened to me twice in the previous and current programming job

2.  Ending up being too valuable to the company and thus everyone expecting you to be completely awesome.
3.  The head of the QA department assumes control of the software development department and has an ego so big that he can't realize this is a conflict of interest.  This head of QA also managed to become VP of the division so there is no way to stop him from doing anything really.
 
2013-02-14 02:21:56 PM

qorkfiend: traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.

Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...


I see, you have much to learn, young Padawan. Muhaha.
 
2013-02-14 02:22:57 PM

traylor: qorkfiend: traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.

Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...

I see, you have much to learn, young Padawan. Muhaha.


Oh? You have a job as a professional programmer where you have no deadlines and can do endless re-write cycles, give up, and watch Netflix?
 
2013-02-14 02:24:40 PM

qorkfiend: traylor: qorkfiend: traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.

Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...

I see, you have much to learn, young Padawan. Muhaha.

Oh? You have a job as a professional programmer where you have no deadlines and can do endless re-write cycles, give up, and watch Netflix?


Yes, I'm working in R&D.
 
2013-02-14 02:25:53 PM

qorkfiend: Slaves2Darkness: People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem
Aww poor baby, being the most technically proficient individual anybody knows sure is a burdern. Why are such a farking douche, give a guy a hand all ready.

highbrow45: slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem " Really? Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.

Came here to say this. As users, programmers are worse than old women.

This may come as a surprise, but programmers are not experts in every single piece of computer software and hardware out there.


I didn't say that it was annoying that programmers are not experts in every single piece of computer software and hardware out there.
 
2013-02-14 02:25:54 PM

MrCrazyInsane: Is "the inability to grasp networking sorcery" on the list?

/it's not the network. Never is.


One of the worst instances I ever ran into:  I get asked, at 10:30 at night on a Friday, to jump into a conference with one of our clients, a large energy company, because our system at one of their power generating stations had slowed to a crawl.  At the time, we had the system installed at three sites all connected to their corporate headquarters.  Only the one site was slow.  Many of the 15+ people on the conference line (mostly the IT folks) were blaming our system.  They're basically treating me, the lowly software vendor, as a sounding board and punching bag.  About 10 minutes into the call, I suggested that someone at the site walk a laptop from node to node...I was ignored.  Around 2:30am, everyone takes a 30 minute break, conference to resume then.  As everyone departs, one of the site specific (non-sorp. headquarters) guys gets me alone and ask me the details about what I said early on.  I tell him to simply walk the laptop from node to node and fire a large-return query at the database at each stop. 40-ish minutes later, conference going again, and with everyone on the phone, the site-IT guy reports that he problem and that it was a piece of network hardware.

This was a fortune 100 energy company with supposed IT gurus.  I know it is often not the network and a lot of vendors will never blame themselves but people should 1) not think they are the most badass programmer/admin in the world because they mastered their little section of it and 2) size up who you are dealing with - they just might be honest and not auto-blame everything but their software.
 
2013-02-14 02:26:26 PM

traylor: qorkfiend: traylor: qorkfiend: traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.

Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...

I see, you have much to learn, young Padawan. Muhaha.

Oh? You have a job as a professional programmer where you have no deadlines and can do endless re-write cycles, give up, and watch Netflix?

Yes, I'm working in R&D.


And there's absolutely no expectation for you to produce anything? Fascinating.
 
2013-02-14 02:26:28 PM

qorkfiend: traylor: qorkfiend: traylor: China White Tea: I'm not a professional codemonkey, but I do a little bit of programming and the most frustrating thing, for me, is that I pretty constantly get stuck in a perpetual cycle of, "This code is okay and it does what I need it to do, but there is probably a better, more "correct" way of doing this - to Stack Overflow!"  And then I read for a bit, rewrite the function in a better-er, correcter-er way, and then repeat the process until I finally decide that I'll never reach the "correct-est" way of doing it, scrub the project entirely, and go watch Netflix instead.

You are more professional than most of the programmers I've known.

Professionals have deadlines and can't do endless rewrite cycles or scrub their projects and go watch Netflix...

I see, you have much to learn, young Padawan. Muhaha.

Oh? You have a job as a professional programmer where you have no deadlines and can do endless re-write cycles, give up, and watch Netflix?


I am sure he was being completely serious and was not, in any way, just making a tongue-in-cheek comment about programmers who are indifferent to code quality; let's fight about it.
 
2013-02-14 02:26:31 PM

UberDave: End users not providing enough information about bugs

I deal with this at least twice a week...for a large problem. You need to describe the steps you performed to get to the problem. "When I press 'Save' the application crashes" doesn't tell me shiat. Especially if the application performs 10 different distinct operations and has over 300 controls.


How the hell am I supposed to know. I was doing stuff, I pressed save and it crashed. Do you really expect me to remember the exact state of the program just so I can file a bug report when the POS crashes unexpectedly on me?
 
2013-02-14 02:27:02 PM

highbrow45: qorkfiend: Slaves2Darkness: People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem
Aww poor baby, being the most technically proficient individual anybody knows sure is a burdern. Why are such a farking douche, give a guy a hand all ready.

highbrow45: slayer199: "People assuming you can fix any computer-related problem " Really? Programmers are the most PC-Illiterate people I know in IT.

Came here to say this. As users, programmers are worse than old women.

This may come as a surprise, but programmers are not experts in every single piece of computer software and hardware out there.

I didn't say that it was annoying that programmers are not experts in every single piece of computer software and hardware out there.


Oh, sorry, I misread your comment. My apologies.
 
2013-02-14 02:28:08 PM

traylor: Dreyelle: 6.  Forcing me to work with smelly H1-Bs

Funny thing is, they probably feel the same about you.


Maybe, but I don't work in India and most of the US showers almost daily, and unlike India, we don't have to watch where we are stepping so we don't step in Holy cow shiat.  Move to the USA and learn to use soap and clean water.  We have plenty of it here.
 
2013-02-14 02:30:37 PM

Bad_Seed: UberDave: End users not providing enough information about bugs

I deal with this at least twice a week...for a large problem. You need to describe the steps you performed to get to the problem. "When I press 'Save' the application crashes" doesn't tell me shiat. Especially if the application performs 10 different distinct operations and has over 300 controls.

How the hell am I supposed to know. I was doing stuff, I pressed save and it crashed. Do you really expect me to remember the exact state of the program just so I can file a bug report when the POS crashes unexpectedly on me?


What were you trying to save? Where were you trying to save it from? What were you trying to save it to? What operating system are you using? What version of the program are you using? Was there an error message? Surely you would know all of this without knowing "the exact state of the program". Saying "I pressed Save and it crashed" is like someone asking you for directions and you pointing vaguely in an arbitrary direction. It's completely useless without details.
 
2013-02-14 02:35:05 PM
The best thing is how it's littered with hot babes
 
2013-02-14 02:41:02 PM
I have the training and experience to work IT.  I refuse to work IT.  I could do programming or computer repair.  I refuse to do it for a living.  Hell, most of the time I refuse to do it for friends and family.  It's not hard.  It's that I don't like dealing with people who don't understand computers beyond "It's broken, you're the only expert I know, fix it!  What do you mean you want money?  If I wanted to pay someone I'd go to Best Buy."

For me it's all the end users.  You fix it, it works.  Everyone is happy.  Then the moment some thing else breaks, it has to be my fault.  Nope, not doing it any more.  I fix my computer when it needs fixing.  Because I know that if I replace the hard drive and the RAM goes out, that the RAM going out had nothing to do with the hard drive.

I have a friend who works for AT&T, he's a manager for one of their call centers.  He told me that he needed a new call center person to troubleshoot customer problems with the equipment.  So we talked for a bit because I was unemployed at the time.  He said "Now, before you interview for the job, remember, you can't call the customers idiots, even if the problem is because of something they did.  And secondly, when you answer the phone you have to read the entire script word for word."  I asked "That script that when I have to call technical support I butt in and say 'Don't care, here's the problem...'?"  He said "Yeah, that script.  You can't abridge that script or not say it.  And no matter how rude they are or that they caused the problem you want to fix, you have to say 'Yes Sir'."  and he explained that he was telling me this because he knows that when I end up fixing computers I actually call family and friends idiots and morons.  I ended up telling him thanks, but no thanks for the interview offer.  I told him that it's retarded to have a department set up to help end users with their problems, and instead of getting straight to the problem with "Hi, thank you for calling AT&T, how can I help you?", having to read a long script that ends with a try at an up sell.  When I call to get tech support I don't want to buy anything, I want my problem fixed.  At that explanation he said "Yeah, you'd be fired within a month, and not for customer service complaints but for not reading the script or going for the up sell."
 
2013-02-14 02:42:26 PM

qorkfiend: What were you trying to save? Where were you trying to save it from? What were you trying to save it to? What operating system are you using? What version of the program are you using? Was there an error message? Surely you would know all of this without knowing "the exact state of the program". Saying "I pressed Save and it crashed" is like someone asking you for directions and you pointing vaguely in an arbitrary direction. It's completely useless without details.


It means that your program crashes when you press save. You should make it not crash.

/Or just generate a crash report with all the crap that you need
//PC LOAD LETTER? What the fark does that mean?
 
2013-02-14 02:46:36 PM

HaywoodJablonski: The best thing is how it's littered with hot babes


Actually, I work with a couple of attractive female programmers.
 
2013-02-14 02:47:15 PM

Bad_Seed: UberDave: End users not providing enough information about bugs

I deal with this at least twice a week...for a large problem. You need to describe the steps you performed to get to the problem. "When I press 'Save' the application crashes" doesn't tell me shiat. Especially if the application performs 10 different distinct operations and has over 300 controls.

How the hell am I supposed to know. I was doing stuff, I pressed save and it crashed. Do you really expect me to remember the exact state of the program just so I can file a bug report when the POS crashes unexpectedly on me?



You don't know the record you are working with?  You don't where you were in the software when you clicked the "save" button?

Example of a good problem report:

1.  Opened up the Personnel application.
2.  Load the record for "Bob Smith"
3.  Opened his training records.
4.  Clicked the button to add new training.
5.  Entered the data and clicked the "save" button.
6.  Received "This SQLTransaction has completed; it is no longer useable" and there was a bunch of gibberish code looking stuff in the "details" section (screen shot below).


That.

There's an ass-load of details can be added but that is a phenomenal amount of information and such would lead to a quicker resolution in 95% of the cases I receive.  Hell, if I just received screen shots, it would be awesome.
 
2013-02-14 02:48:11 PM

Slaves2Darkness: Bwhahahaha, you obviously don't understand why we use Agile and Scrum. The reason we use those methodologies is that you farking programmers are out of control. That methodology is all about control, it is about you stupid half-wits not doing what you are supposed to.


Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about.  You sure do sound cool and edgy, though!
 
2013-02-14 02:53:24 PM

Dreyelle: traylor: Dreyelle: 6.  Forcing me to work with smelly H1-Bs

Funny thing is, they probably feel the same about you.

Maybe, but I don't work in India and most of the US showers almost daily, and unlike India, we don't have to watch where we are stepping so we don't step in Holy cow shiat.  Move to the USA and learn to use soap and clean water.  We have plenty of it here.


But, unlike the stinky and irritating chemicals you put on your body, cow shiat just smells fine. How can you not understand this?
 
2013-02-14 02:53:32 PM
People who modify code modules to accomidate their specific problems, while trashing the broader functionality. Too hard to write code that works with original module or clone the module, rename it, and change it.
 
2013-02-14 02:57:04 PM

traylor: Dreyelle: traylor: Dreyelle: 6.  Forcing me to work with smelly H1-Bs

Funny thing is, they probably feel the same about you.

Maybe, but I don't work in India and most of the US showers almost daily, and unlike India, we don't have to watch where we are stepping so we don't step in Holy cow shiat.  Move to the USA and learn to use soap and clean water.  We have plenty of it here.

But, unlike the stinky and irritating chemicals you put on your body, cow shiat just smells fine. How can you not understand this


Dammit.  I hate it when I bite on troll bait.
 
2013-02-14 02:57:34 PM
Electromax: I do coding professional and as a hobby, and my general philosophy unless some client is going to be reading the code (ie never) or there's noticeable performance problems is that, if it is okay and it does what you need it to, that's the correct-est way.

I'm not just a programmer, I was (and am starting to become one again) a code reviewer.

IE, I look at code other people wrote (EX, offshore resources) and determine if it's ready for prime time or if there are going to be issues.

// potential issues are categorized on a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being the highest). I only care about 3-5. 1 and 2 are trivialities that aren't worth my time to fully review.

// in my experience though, code with a lot of smells tends to have a lot of larger issues. It's an attention to detail thing, if they don't care about the small easy to fix things, then how do they treat the larger things?

I look at code like that and I'm like, what troglodyte wrote this? I always assume someone will read my code at some point and it's not even about oneupmanship. Here is a simple example.

I have a SQL query which is going to join two tables together (Products and User Data).

A troglodyte programmer would alias those tables as A and B whereas I would alias them as P and U. A and B conveys no meaning, and in larger queries, people will tend to forget what the hell table B was referring to. Was B.UNIQUE_KEY from the user table? The products table? The sales table? The region table? whereas U.UNIQUE_KEY is much easier to grok.

Is that going to make the code more efficient? NO. Is it an amazing feat of programming progress? NO. Does it increase the difficulty of writing the code? NO. Does it make it easier for anyone else to read the code? Hell yes.
 
2013-02-14 02:57:49 PM

dittybopper: HaywoodJablonski: The best thing is how it's littered with hot babes

Actually, I work with a couple of attractive female programmers.


Do you work in Eastern Europe? That's the only way this scenario is possible
 
2013-02-14 02:58:06 PM
"Well, we need to get paid for this change in order to keep the doors open. So, just push this through and then we will start following procedure."
 
2013-02-14 03:03:04 PM
Programmers who didn't start out as programmers, but Subject Matter Experts who were given a scripting language and told to go automate portions of their jobs.

We hates that.
 
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