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(Last Angry Fan) NewsFlash Paralympian Oscar "Blade Runner" Pistorius mistakes girlfriend for a home invader, allegedly shoots and kills her   (lastangryfan.com) divider line 128
    More: NewsFlash, Oscar Pistorius, Paralympics, burglary, amputations  
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13449 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 2:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-14 03:00:42 AM  
20 votes:
i49.tinypic.com
4chan is hilarious sometimes.
2013-02-14 02:27:55 AM  
17 votes:
He claims innocence, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on
2013-02-14 02:27:52 AM  
17 votes:
Good cover story.

See? This is what makes a good athlete, being able to think quick on your feet when youuuuohkay maybe that was a bad way to phrase that.
2013-02-14 05:31:08 AM  
11 votes:
That's not what 'Trophy Wife' means, dummy.
2013-02-14 02:35:42 AM  
11 votes:
Most. Awkward. Perpwalk. EVER.
2013-02-14 05:16:32 AM  
10 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-02-14 02:36:58 AM  
10 votes:
You can hardly blame the man for being a little overzealous to bear arms.
2013-02-14 02:33:56 AM  
10 votes:
Alternate headline: Home invasion gone wrong leaves woman dead, boyfriend disabled
2013-02-14 11:22:20 AM  
9 votes:
Roses are red,
Violets are glorious.
Don't try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius
2013-02-14 02:48:34 AM  
8 votes:
When asked why he did it, he simply said "I'm stumped."
2013-02-14 02:40:54 AM  
8 votes:
I hope her family has money. Obviously he will be unable to foot the bill for the funeral.
2013-02-14 02:25:56 AM  
8 votes:
Now she'll never get to see the Tannhauser gate. :(
2013-02-14 02:25:02 AM  
8 votes:
If only she'd had a handgun to defend herself!!!
2013-02-14 10:02:58 AM  
6 votes:

Giltric: History of domestic abuse?

Shot 4 times?

I wonder what his T levels are and if he tests positive for roids.

Sounds like murder cloaked in a home invasion excuse.



Let he who is without shin...
2013-02-14 05:09:01 AM  
6 votes:
Oh come on, all he did was take her out on Valentines day.
2013-02-14 02:30:56 AM  
6 votes:
She failed the voight-kampff test, he had no choice
2013-02-14 02:27:56 AM  
6 votes:
Worst. Valentine's Day gift. Ever. -_-
2013-02-14 09:56:28 AM  
5 votes:
www.ibelieveinadv.com
2013-02-14 07:24:59 AM  
5 votes:

Guess_Who: He must've received his firearms training from the LAPD.


no he shot a white woman.
2013-02-14 07:17:28 AM  
5 votes:
Oscar Pistolius.

/Did I really have to be the first?
2013-02-14 02:49:16 AM  
5 votes:
Wow, I think I just booked a ticket on the bus to hell just by reading this thread.
2013-02-14 02:48:27 AM  
5 votes:
If only she had been a couple of feet away.
2013-02-14 02:42:24 AM  
5 votes:
Bet he wishes he could kick himself over this.
2013-02-14 02:29:09 AM  
5 votes:
Obviously a false flag operation by Obama so he can confiscate all our guns.
2013-02-14 02:26:02 AM  
5 votes:
Po little Tink-Tink...
2013-02-14 10:18:17 AM  
4 votes:
"At least I didn't kill anyone," Lance Armstrong
2013-02-14 10:00:49 AM  
4 votes:
cdn.lastangryfan.com

These must be the newest version Aperture Science Long Fall Boots... I can just picture Cave pitching them: "Sure, they require amputating the lower leg, but trust me, they're much more efficient that way! You won't miss it. Who needs stupid feet anyway?!"
2013-02-14 06:13:17 AM  
4 votes:
How long had they been dating? Which anniversary is lead?
2013-02-14 06:09:35 AM  
4 votes:
The report read "Routine retirement of a replicant." That didn't make me feel any better about shooting a woman in the back.
2013-02-14 05:00:02 AM  
4 votes:
"..allegedly shot and killed his girlfriend in the early morning hours after mistaking her for an intruder at his Silver Lakes home."

"Uhh, excuse me, your honor, is it too late to change my defense again?"
assets.nydailynews.com
2013-02-14 04:19:04 AM  
4 votes:
A woman should never ever try to sneak up on a man when he thinks he's alone. She might catch him whacking it to tranny porn, then he'll have to spend hours trying to explain to her that trannies are more woman than man, really. The face is really feminine. And besides, he doesn't watch it much at all. This was like his first time seeing it. He didn't even really know this kind of stuff existed. Yeah, he agrees, it's kind of weird, and he'll never look at this kind of stuff again. He promises.
2013-02-14 03:02:19 AM  
4 votes:
trialx.com
R.I.P. JACO PASTORIUS
2013-02-14 02:51:26 AM  
4 votes:
All this time people have been focusing on his legs, and its his Arms we should have been worried about.
2013-02-14 02:46:26 AM  
4 votes:
Wiggum: Now Sideshow Bob can't get in without _me_ knowing. And once a man is in your home, anything you do to him is nice and legal.
Homer: [nefariously] Is that so? [calls out window] Oh, Flanders! Won't you join me in my kitchen? Heh, heh, heh...
Wiggum: Er, it doesn't work if you invite him.
Flanders: [effusively] Heidily hey!
Homer: [truculently] Go home!
Flanders: [congenially] Toodily doo!
2013-02-14 02:34:27 AM  
4 votes:
It was Dorner. And the dead "girlfriend" is Lennay Kekua.
2013-02-14 02:24:35 AM  
4 votes:
OMG NEWSFLASH THIS IS GONNA CHANGE EVERYTHING
2013-02-14 06:23:11 PM  
3 votes:
Description of suspect: white male, 4'3" to 5'10"
2013-02-14 07:52:22 AM  
3 votes:

man metaphysical: How does he get a girl like that?


Easy... you just don't lead her as much.
2013-02-14 06:22:36 AM  
3 votes:
Police to oppose bail for Pistorius  http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Police-to-oppose-bai l-for-Pisto rius-20130214

Are they afraid he might run?
2013-02-14 05:39:16 AM  
3 votes:
danielscissorhands: I'll bet he will miss this...

judging by the exit wounds, he didnt
2013-02-14 04:55:27 AM  
3 votes:
t.fod4.com
Bring him to justice!
2013-02-14 04:17:15 AM  
3 votes:
Maybe he was mad because she out drank him...

lostnchina.files.wordpress.com

PISTORIus! PISTORIus!

/Better than another gun comment
2013-02-14 04:03:52 AM  
3 votes:
I don't think his defense has any legs to stand on. He is definitely making big strides in the world of Fark gun threads. He better be quick on his feet and find a good lawyer. I guess he was light on his toes when it comes to home defense. Maybe he shot her because her name was Irene or Peggy, and was sick of the irony?

/nothing else
2013-02-14 03:48:16 AM  
3 votes:
Obligatory "My submitted headline was better" post:

"Bladerunner retires non-replicant"
2013-02-14 02:58:36 AM  
3 votes:
He has better aim than all the police in California.
2013-02-14 02:50:51 AM  
3 votes:

ssteedman: South Africans are very jumpy about house burglaries, as a large percentage of them are violent and often lethal, in a way not seen in many other parts of the world.

Also, Oscar's going to be going solo to that restaurant tonight for Valentines.

/South African.


So Oscar's girlfriend looked like a bleck?
2013-02-14 02:48:37 AM  
3 votes:
Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent.
2013-02-14 02:47:53 AM  
3 votes:
It'll take him a while to heel from this. Or maybe it won't, if he has no sole.
2013-02-14 02:39:33 AM  
3 votes:
On those prostheses, he'll bounce back from this.
2013-02-14 02:31:07 AM  
3 votes:
He found out she was a replicant and retired her.
2013-02-14 02:26:58 AM  
3 votes:
If only she'd had a ...

CarriePrejean: If only she'd had a handgun to defend herself!!!



Nevermind. God damn it.
2013-02-14 11:17:50 AM  
2 votes:

monoski: ransack.: monoski: ransack.: Turbo Cojones: So she calls him up and tells him "it's over and I'm coming to get my shiat and moving in with Ollie Ollewagen."

He waits by the door, and in a jealous rage blows her away.  Is that about right?

Yes, I do believe that's what happened.

I truly hope this is not the case but I fear it is. He is a very motivational person in the world of adaptive sports and one of the few who has made the leap over to compete in the traditional forums.

He can still be motivational to cripples with murderous intent. I watch a lot of Investigation Discovery and I don't recall ever hearing of a cripple-murderer.

I know one here in Philly. Guys robbed his house so he found who and killed him (after the fact, so no stand or sit your ground defense)


I'm picturing a guy frantically propelling his wheelchair down the street with his left hand and enduring great difficulty steering and closing one eye while aiming a Mac-10 held at arms-length to the right with one hand and his tongue is hanging out of the bottom left corner of his mouth and he's wearing a beige trenchcoat, and when he pulls the trigger his unwary target suffers a head explosion but the recoil flips his wheelchair and the rest of his 31-round clip empties into the air and shatters people's windows while they are feeding newborn triplets and blows out bolts on fire escapes and hits electrical transformers and shoots out tires and after like ten seconds the entire neighborhood is ducked down covering their ears and every car has been in a fender bender and nobody has power and then after a few seconds of silence there resumes the eternal urban cacophony of people yelling and babies crying and car horns honking and sirens and gunshots
2013-02-14 10:57:57 AM  
2 votes:
The bad news: he is now being charged with murder.

The good news: He will get a good parking spot at the Court house for the trial
2013-02-14 10:31:38 AM  
2 votes:

monoski: ransack.: Turbo Cojones: So she calls him up and tells him "it's over and I'm coming to get my shiat and moving in with Ollie Ollewagen."

He waits by the door, and in a jealous rage blows her away.  Is that about right?

Yes, I do believe that's what happened.

I truly hope this is not the case but I fear it is. He is a very motivational person in the world of adaptive sports and one of the few who has made the leap over to compete in the traditional forums.


He can still be motivational to cripples with murderous intent. I watch a lot of Investigation Discovery and I don't recall ever hearing of a cripple-murderer.
2013-02-14 08:40:07 AM  
2 votes:
Poor Lil Tink Tink
2013-02-14 08:33:30 AM  
2 votes:

amindtat: Why did he have to end a domestic dispute with violence? Couldn't he have just simply walked away?


i1079.photobucket.com

There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away.
2013-02-14 07:43:40 AM  
2 votes:

I lurked for two years before I signed up!: Well, that and the farking vuvuzelas...


They have vuvuzelas just for that?
2013-02-14 07:25:10 AM  
2 votes:
Pistorius: Tell me straight. Will I walk?
Defense attorney: I think so.
Pistorius: Great. I couldn't before.
2013-02-14 07:16:10 AM  
2 votes:

man metaphysical: How does he get a girl like that?


Third leg?
2013-02-14 06:43:33 AM  
2 votes:
Is it wrong that any time a female is rape, murdered, or kidnapped I always need to see what she looks like before I decide how sad I am going to be?
2013-02-14 06:31:37 AM  
2 votes:

cygnusx13: C'mon guys. Don't be so quick to judge. Try walking a mile in his shoes before claiming he is guilty of a crime.


Okay...


Boing


Boing



Boing


Boing
2013-02-14 06:14:26 AM  
2 votes:
On the murder charge, I'm guessing Pistorius's lawyer will claim both self-defense and mistaken identity. A two-pronged defense, if you will.
2013-02-14 05:00:16 AM  
2 votes:

Spaced Cowboy: Wow, I think I just booked a ticket on the bus to hell just by reading this thread.


Fark IS the bus to Hell. You book your ticket just by picking a handle.
2013-02-14 03:58:36 AM  
2 votes:
Legless Olympian Can't Run From Murder Charge

(Tomorrow's NY Post Headline)
2013-02-14 03:45:11 AM  
2 votes:
img88.imageshack.us
2013-02-14 03:14:41 AM  
2 votes:

Captain Steroid: Worst. Valentine's Day gift. Ever. -_-


Some one brave enough to submit this to Jimmy Kimmel?
2013-02-14 03:13:51 AM  
2 votes:
It's too bad she wont live! But then again who does!

/at least he ain't little people
2013-02-14 02:55:33 AM  
2 votes:
All of this could have been avoided if he'd been able to think on his feet.
2013-02-14 02:51:19 AM  
2 votes:
That excuse isn't going to fly in court. He's shot himself in the foot there.
2013-02-14 02:49:24 AM  
2 votes:

PreMortem: Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent.


It can only lead to defeet.
2013-02-14 02:48:45 AM  
2 votes:
Why didn't he use a blade?
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-02-14 02:43:26 AM  
2 votes:
He was just practicing for the biathlon.
2013-02-14 02:34:28 AM  
2 votes:
He will slide.
2013-02-14 02:31:02 AM  
2 votes:

Red Shirt Blues: HaywoodJablonski: He claims innocence, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on

dammit...that was mine!


Sorry, TFer, newsflashes are the great equalizer
2013-02-14 10:08:40 PM  
1 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-02-14 06:24:22 PM  
1 votes:
This one may stump a jury.
2013-02-14 05:01:16 PM  
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: What would be the US equivalent of this guy be in terms of fame in SA?


OJ Simpson?
2013-02-14 02:48:09 PM  
1 votes:

George Washington: Snarfangel: George Washington: no shirt no shoes: Roses are red,
Violets are glorious.
Don't try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius

i too read reddit.

You have to make your accusation in the form of a poem:

I can't believe
Now that you've said it
I saw it before
On the pages of Reddit

damn your wittiness
today is valentines day
your poem is better


Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
...Poems are hard.
Bacon.
2013-02-14 02:48:04 PM  
1 votes:
Well, whatever happens, I can see we'll be talking about this for some time to come.  This story's got legs.
2013-02-14 02:09:20 PM  
1 votes:
"Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless."
2013-02-14 01:46:07 PM  
1 votes:

illannoyin: Aces and Eights: Here is what I was taught, and I think it makes sense: If you hear someone you suspect is a home-invader, call out to that person "Go away, I have a gun." If it's your girlfriend, family member, or some other innocent person, they can identify themselves and a tragedy like this could be avoided. If it's really a home invader, the warning might run them off. If not, well...you can decide what to do with that .357 in your hand. But at least they had fair warning.

Correct.

WHO'S THERE? IDENTIFY YOURSELF! LEAVE NOW! I'M ARMED AND I WILL KILL YOU!

Don't go looking for them in the house. Lock yourself in the bedroom. Hide under the bed and dial 911. Have your gun ready if they kick in the door.

/Common sense goes a long way to avoiding "accidents" like this


Correct2

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people. And monkeys do too (if they have guns)" - Eddie Izzard.
2013-02-14 01:25:33 PM  
1 votes:
The article did not mention it, but did they take his legs off to stop him from running away?
2013-02-14 12:45:38 PM  
1 votes:
And the Oscar goes to........

Prison!
2013-02-14 12:24:16 PM  
1 votes:

Snarfangel: George Washington: no shirt no shoes: Roses are red,
Violets are glorious.
Don't try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius

i too read reddit.

You have to make your accusation in the form of a poem:

I can't believe
Now that you've said it
I saw it before
On the pages of Reddit


damn your wittiness
today is valentines day
your poem is better
2013-02-14 12:06:36 PM  
1 votes:

George Washington: no shirt no shoes: Roses are red,
Violets are glorious.
Don't try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius

i too read reddit.


You have to make your accusation in the form of a poem:

I can't believe
Now that you've said it
I saw it before
On the pages of Reddit
2013-02-14 11:57:41 AM  
1 votes:

no shirt no shoes: Roses are red,
Violets are glorious.
Don't try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius


i too read reddit.
2013-02-14 11:41:00 AM  
1 votes:
I'm sure that when she asked him to shoot a load on her face for Valentine's Day she didn't mean it in that way.
2013-02-14 11:38:11 AM  
1 votes:
He was heavily armed
But lightly legged.
2013-02-14 11:14:51 AM  
1 votes:

the wand: Wow didn't know Oscar was famous world wide

/South African


Well, he's famous for being a grouch.
2013-02-14 10:45:18 AM  
1 votes:

man metaphysical: How does he get a girl like that?


don;t know but she definitely didn't sweep him off his feet.
2013-02-14 10:41:54 AM  
1 votes:

man metaphysical: How does he get a girl like that?


I'm stumped.
2013-02-14 10:33:46 AM  
1 votes:
Did y'all know there was a movie called Blade Runner?  I'm not kidding.  I'm going to link to an image from it if I can find one.
2013-02-14 10:08:37 AM  
1 votes:
Another day and another African shot somebody.  What do you expect?  How long before Jesse Jackson comes in here to tell us it's not this poor African's fault and that he's oppressed because he's a minority.

When will you libs learn?
2013-02-14 09:32:41 AM  
1 votes:

NEPAman: PreMortem: Not very sporting to fire on an unarmed opponent.

She was unarmed, he was unlegged, it balances out.


She was an an unarmed women.
He was an unlegged man.
Could they find true love?

Limbless in South Africa

2013-02-14 09:22:55 AM  
1 votes:
Don't bring blades to a gun fight
2013-02-14 08:50:38 AM  
1 votes:
images.wikia.com
He never asked for this.
2013-02-14 08:35:06 AM  
1 votes:
Shouldn't have gone for the basic pleasure model.
2013-02-14 08:29:30 AM  
1 votes:
Routine retirement of a girlfriend?
2013-02-14 08:06:16 AM  
1 votes:
How did people not know already this was going to happen?

scribble.com

/more than 200 comments and not one single reference? For shame! :)
2013-02-14 08:04:14 AM  
1 votes:

ShawnDoc: Obviously a false flag operation by Obama so he can confiscate all our guns.


It's South Africa, not Kenya.
2013-02-14 07:56:31 AM  
1 votes:

zamboni: man metaphysical: How does he get a girl like that?

Easy... you just don't lead her as much.


Actually, yelling "a camera" will make them freeze like deer in headlights.
2013-02-14 07:48:28 AM  
1 votes:

misanthropologist: I'm just going to take a shot in the dark here and say there's something more to this...


I think he beat you to it. Several times. By accident, of course.
2013-02-14 07:38:37 AM  
1 votes:

God-is-a-Taco: ssteedman: South Africans are very jumpy about house burglaries, as a large percentage of them are violent and often lethal, in a way not seen in many other parts of the world.


Yeah, I've read some pretty damning things about South Africa and violent crime. I can't blame someone there for being on edge.
If I remember right, people were pretty upset with that World Cup soccer (football) thing being held there for that reason?


Well, that and the farking vuvuzelas...
2013-02-14 07:24:11 AM  
1 votes:
Yup, no matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shiat.
2013-02-14 07:01:33 AM  
1 votes:
Blade gunner?
2013-02-14 06:54:55 AM  
1 votes:

Guess_Who: IsNoGood: I have friends in ZA and some location they have High Power fence that will grill any small or medium animal
that's try to get in, also point of failure systems that tell you what part of the system that's been hit so you just shoot in that direction.

Za... Zanzabar? I have friends there too. It IS a small world.


Guess you have no Idea what ZA is,   spelled Zanzibar I dont think they have top level root domain ? as it a city in a country thats use TZ I was sure in Canada they still had school ? or access to Google ? did the Chinese take over allredy ?
2013-02-14 06:04:15 AM  
1 votes:
He'd be the perfect stealth soldier, since he could be deployed anywhere while politicians keep to their promise of not putting "feet on the ground."
2013-02-14 05:58:05 AM  
1 votes:
Do androids dream of electric feet ?
2013-02-14 05:33:32 AM  
1 votes:

orbister: Why didn't he use a blade?


Maybe he's a cleric.
2013-02-14 04:52:04 AM  
1 votes:
He can try and claim self-defense in court, but it looks like he won't have a leg to stand on...
2013-02-14 04:50:19 AM  
1 votes:
Paralympian Immunity?

www.weirdir.com
2013-02-14 04:31:38 AM  
1 votes:
good, a freak like him shouldn't have a hot girlfriend like that.
2013-02-14 04:28:28 AM  
1 votes:

Pert: Of course I wouldn't take my children there, and everyone we know who lives there has been burgled or attacked, but it isn't THAT bad.


Imma just let this sentence hang there for a bit for all to absorb.

...

"It's not that bad, because it's not a futuristic dystopia of rape and killing."

I especially liked the part where kids can't go. Even kids go to Chicago and New York.
2013-02-14 04:10:18 AM  
1 votes:
God damn. It's threads like these that remind me why I love fark so much.

/dude stads no chance in court
//I liked him too
2013-02-14 03:57:05 AM  
1 votes:
There's a report coming out now that she may have been sneaking into the house to surprise him for Valentine's Day. Dude was about to get anal had he not shot his load in her face.
2013-02-14 03:54:47 AM  
1 votes:
Drinks and guns don't mix, people. He must have been legless.
2013-02-14 03:40:25 AM  
1 votes:
How long before someone starts screaming for more gun control in this country. Because they are too stupid to realize this happened in South Africa.....anyone?
2013-02-14 03:38:33 AM  
1 votes:
Hmmm. Shot 4 times, including a head shot.

Yep, seems legit.
2013-02-14 03:38:00 AM  
1 votes:

styckx: He has better aim than all the police in California.


farm5.staticflickr.com
2013-02-14 03:37:01 AM  
1 votes:
That's going to cut the NRA's arguments off at the knees.
2013-02-14 03:30:50 AM  
1 votes:

Paddy: Useless without pictures.


Also this. Every woman, no matter how hot they are, has a man somewhere who's sick of her shiat.
2013-02-14 03:26:52 AM  
1 votes:
C'mon guys. Don't be so quick to judge. Try walking a mile in his shoes before claiming he is guilty of a crime.
2013-02-14 03:18:29 AM  
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: [i49.tinypic.com image 506x982]
4chan is hilarious sometimes.


The depth of facial emotion an artist can attain in mspaint is astounding.
2013-02-14 02:54:30 AM  
1 votes:

CarriePrejean: If only she'd had a handgun to defend herself!!!


I suppose you're going to argue he had an unfair advantage.
2013-02-14 02:50:35 AM  
1 votes:
retired her.  The correct term is "retire"
2013-02-14 02:49:18 AM  
1 votes:
The first trigger pull might have been accidental.  I don't buy that the next three were.  Unless she put on her ski mask and carried a Kalashnikov to get a midnight snack.
2013-02-14 02:28:39 AM  
1 votes:
farking retard.
2013-02-14 02:27:17 AM  
1 votes:
Well, if this defense works for him, I've got a list of people that I may "invite over" soon...
 
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