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(Mother Nature Network)   What do a monster black hole and a newly married bride have in common?   (mnn.com) divider line 49
    More: Obvious, University of Central Lancashire, TechMediaNetwork, Mike Wall  
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9719 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 10:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-14 09:12:12 AM
Subby is so sleeping on the couch tonight after that headline.
 
2013-02-14 09:15:17 AM
No more interest in sex?
 
2013-02-14 09:27:26 AM
They both drain the life out of you?
 
2013-02-14 09:29:00 AM
They both hate your mother?
 
2013-02-14 09:30:26 AM
They both can still suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
 
2013-02-14 09:40:27 AM
I thought newly married brides stopped sucking
 
2013-02-14 10:03:24 AM
Neither one has been in my kitchen
 
2013-02-14 10:13:40 AM
They both know how to bend time and space to make the facts suit their desired truth?
 
2013-02-14 10:48:52 AM
Subby has bigger balls than me
 
2013-02-14 10:49:37 AM
They both come in at millions of solar masses?
 
2013-02-14 10:51:14 AM
They both lose their attraction
 
2013-02-14 10:52:14 AM
Wait did Paris Hilton get married?
 
2013-02-14 10:52:37 AM
They both slept with the best man?
 
2013-02-14 10:53:26 AM
Marriage: like pulling the rip-cord on a life raft.
 
2013-02-14 10:54:22 AM
They're both great at sucking money out of my wallet but not sucking "other" parts of my person?
 
2013-02-14 10:55:14 AM
Need to just accept the vacuum?
 
2013-02-14 10:57:14 AM
They both make sammiches pretty good for the first couple of months, but eventually they get fat and lazy, so you divorce them for a younger, stupider, hotter version?
 
2013-02-14 10:58:50 AM
They both gain mass over time?
 
2013-02-14 11:01:17 AM
You can escape neither?

/if you don't believe in divorce
 
2013-02-14 11:01:24 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-14 11:03:23 AM
Monster black holes grow surprisingly fat?
 
2013-02-14 11:05:07 AM
Ke$ha got married?

/drtfa
 
2013-02-14 11:06:39 AM
both are soon crammed full of 'dark matter'... (probably while you are at work)
 
2013-02-14 11:07:14 AM
Bold headline choice for Valentine's day, stubby.
 
2013-02-14 11:11:59 AM
Throw some wedding cake down their gullets and they stop sucking?
 
2013-02-14 11:31:21 AM
"Giant black holes are famous for their appetites, but these matter-munching monsters are even greedier than scientists once thought, a new study suggests"

I saw my old high school girlfriend and I did not even recognize her. She married and had four kids and gained over 100 lbs. Article totally reminded me of this encounter.
 
2013-02-14 11:53:22 AM
they both become bottomless pits of taking and never giving anything back in return?

/why, yes, I am bitterly single, how did you guess?
 
2013-02-14 12:08:06 PM
Decent people shouldn't think about them very much
 
2013-02-14 12:12:08 PM
TODAY'S MOST POPULAR

9. Why women lose interest in sex
 
2013-02-14 12:20:37 PM
Absolutely nothing can escape them.
 
2013-02-14 12:22:27 PM

Donnchadha: I thought newly married brides stopped sucking


Physically, yes.
But she makes up for that by amping up of the sucking of his emotions, self-esteem and life.
 
2013-02-14 12:23:03 PM
i877.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-14 12:31:45 PM
FTFA: <i>

Size and mass are two different things.  The clue is in the name.  You know, supermassive black holes.  They are incomprehensibly massive, but they'd barely be a dot beside a star like Beta Carinae.

/Science, biatches.
 
2013-02-14 12:32:21 PM
Oh, FFS.  Quote fail.  Screw it, just RTFA.
 
2013-02-14 12:37:26 PM
I`m guessing it`s that they both still suck
 
2013-02-14 12:44:04 PM
They both consist of relatively small holes that get larger and larger the more stuff go in them. Eventually, several of them combine and together they become even more efficient at sucking up matter. Then you end up with Dallas. That's where the similarities end.

That's why I'm a homosexual. Fat women are great to hang out with, they've always been the best hags. The heavier they are, the more compassionate they get. But I'd hang myself if I had to fark them. I have absolutely no rights, but I have more hot people to screw than straight men in Dallas.
 
2013-02-14 12:44:12 PM
In the beginning there is a lot of sucking and blowing, and at the end, someone ends up losing a trailer?
 
2013-02-14 12:49:42 PM
It's something having to do with subby getting a new step-dad, right?
 
2013-02-14 12:53:07 PM

dready zim: I`m guessing it`s that they both still suck


or that they both stop sucking very quickly after they've drained everything in their local neighborhood.

/or perhaps that they both emit Hawking radiation
 
2013-02-14 01:03:10 PM
+1, subby.

I've worked at the same place for 17 years now, and EVERY chick goes through the same cycle.

Skinny and hot?--fresh out of college and on the prowl.
Getting puffy?--found a boyfriend.
Hot again?--bad breakup and hooking up with random dudes.
Puffy again?--engaged.
Hot, to almost anorexic?--wedding is in a month
Slowly blowing up, to the point of buying new clothes?--MARRIED

And then it's off to the races.  Rinse and repeat after a divorce.
 
2013-02-14 01:03:37 PM
DownDaRiver:
[fat wedding]

I always thought fat people marrying have it pretty good.  I mean, they're already fat, they're probably not going to get horribly fatter later.  They fell in love fat, they got married fat, WYSIWYG.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-14 01:11:25 PM
Theoretically speaking, can a black hole ever get so massive it becomes something else?

The question is for the physicists. I was just wondering about it after watching too much science channel the other day. I should probably stick to Fox.
 
2013-02-14 01:13:42 PM

No Such Agency: DownDaRiver:
[fat wedding]

I always thought fat people marrying have it pretty good.  I mean, they're already fat, they're probably not going to get horribly fatter later.  They fell in love fat, they got married fat, WYSIWYG.


No doubt. There are far fewer misconceptions, physically and lifestyle anyway.
 
2013-02-14 01:40:06 PM

Psychopusher: FTFA: <i>

Size and mass are two different things.  The clue is in the name.  You know, supermassive black holes.  They are incomprehensibly massive, but they'd barely be a dot beside a star like Beta Carinae.

/Science, biatches.



Put it beside VY Canis Majoris. 1400 solar radii, biatches!
 
2013-02-14 01:50:13 PM

TommyDeuce: Bold headline choice for Valentine's day, stubby.

 
2013-02-14 02:47:02 PM
Both are detected by their gravitational pull because you can't really look at them.
 
2013-02-14 07:04:19 PM

SmackLT: They both can still suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?


NEWLY MARRIED bride, not engaged bride.
 
2013-02-14 09:22:33 PM
They're both grinning because they know they'll never have to give another blowjob in their lifetimes?
 
2013-02-16 06:48:19 PM
My theory is that the biggest black holes are at least as old as the previous universe. That the Big Bang was basically pressure being let off from some cyclic phenomena, and these black holes were already out there. The relationship between the size of a galaxy's bulge and the black hole in it's center is established, but no-one knows how it works. I wonder if a black hole transforms the matter it swallows into a kind of stress on the fabric of space, bending it, which mimics gravity over great distances. Dark matter could be explained by concentrated wrinkles of this stress, produced by these very small objects at a great distance.

Dark energy and the accelerating universe could be due to our current universe expanding out of a relative void and into an ancient halo or cluster of cold baryonic matter and gravity warped space which has always surrounded us beyond our current range of sight. Our expansion would probably start to slow again at some point. We'll experience the Big Rip, leaving behind little other than our mass. Eventually, an existing black hole will grow a bit too big and attract an other-dimensional brane into colliding with our brane, and another burst of matter will rip through, forming another cycle of stars and galaxies as it expands out into the cold.
 
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