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(Canberra Times)   Golf: play 18 holes, chat to your mates, go for drinks in the bar. Golf in Australia: Use a spare tee to extract the venom of the poisonous spider that just bit your leg, then play the rest of the round   (canberratimes.com.au) divider line 33
    More: Strange, Australians, Swedish, tone hole, tee, CSIRO, selections  
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3401 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2013 at 2:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 11:43:33 PM
Doctor said being stoned saved my life when I was bitten by a rattlesnake back in the late 80's because I didn't freak out. Still not afraid of spiders or snakes. And I'm not even stoned...right this minute.
 
2013-02-13 11:54:53 PM
The article doesn't say what club she used on the spider.  Was it a wedge, iron or wood?  Also, after the bite did they cancel her handicap?

This should make for a good article in the near future Golf Digest, 'How to survive the wild back nine and why you should carry a divot tool'.

Still a more relaxing round for her than playing with Woods.
 
2013-02-14 12:17:44 AM
Is there any other way?
 
2013-02-14 12:48:14 AM
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
I jumped high up into the air,
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider
Wasn't nowhere to be found.

I rushed in to the missus,
Told her just where I'd been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said, "Just forget what's on your mind,
And call a doctor please,
'Cause I've got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease."

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.

I can't lay down, I can't sit up,
And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny,
But that's not my point of view.
I tell you it's embarrassing,
And that's to say the least
That I'm too sick to eat a bite,
While that spider had a feast!

And when I get back home again,
I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that red-back suffer
For the pain I'm going through.
I've had so many needles
That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn't very long to live!

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.


/Stolen
 
2013-02-14 02:19:31 AM
Just a flesh wound?
 
2013-02-14 02:28:04 AM
She shot 2 over par. She's never going to win a championship with that kind of lousy score.
 
2013-02-14 02:32:34 AM
What's Swedish for "bad-ass"?
 
2013-02-14 02:34:07 AM
Brought to you from the culture that gave the world Yahoo Serious and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Not to mention that goat's piss known as Foster's beer.
 
2013-02-14 02:38:54 AM
Australia wants to kill you. Swedish woman just don't care.
 
2013-02-14 02:39:09 AM

Strongbeerrules: Brought to you from the culture that gave the world Yahoo Serious and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Not to mention that goat's piss known as Foster's beer.


You can take the piss out of Yahoo Serious and Skippy, but don't dare suggest that Aussies consider Fosters to be beer. :|
 
2013-02-14 02:39:32 AM

Strongbeerrules: Brought to you from the culture that gave the world Yahoo Serious and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Not to mention that goat's piss known as Foster's beer.


We export that so you don't drink the good stuff.
 
2013-02-14 02:47:35 AM
TFA mentions this occurred on the fourth hole. Where the heck is that?
 
2013-02-14 02:56:31 AM

Maturin: TFA mentions this occurred on the fourth hole. Where the heck is that?


Nostril.
 
2013-02-14 03:03:05 AM

Maturin: TFA mentions this occurred on the fourth hole. Where the heck is that?


It's only visible from a certain angle.  Like the entrance to Hogwarts.  But you gotta believe it's there.
 
2013-02-14 03:12:50 AM
Silly redback...doesn't it know it's meant to be on a toilet seat somewhere and not on a golf course? :D

(Then again, redbacks are probably almost cuddly compared with all the OTHER fauna and flora actively trying to kill the fark out of you in Australia.  I maintain that the traditional owners of country in Australia have to be the hardest motherfarkers on the planet, if only because they survived and even thrived on what is essentially a Death Continent with not a hell of a lot more than fire and friggin' sticks, and even managed to take out pretty much all of Australia's megafauna (including such fun things as giant man-eating goannas and Geese Of Chocobo-Esque Proportions and friggin' carnivorous kangaroos) in the process.  (Did I mention they did this with pretty much fire and sticks, only some of which were actually pointy?)  It's not like New Zealand which is practically friggin' Hobbiton in comparison, you know. :D)
 
2013-02-14 03:33:30 AM
Has any other anal retentive Hun besides myself yet pointed out the spider is not poisonous, but venomous?

Does anybody really care?
 
2013-02-14 04:07:47 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-14 04:27:46 AM

Strongbeerrules: Brought to you from the culture that gave the world Yahoo Serious and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Not to mention that goat's piss known as Foster's beer.


You do know that the Foster's you've tasted is brewed in Canada, right?

/ my sympathy to your neighbors and co-workers in Edmonton, AB
 
2013-02-14 04:39:52 AM
SIGH. Redbacks are not dangerous. Typically, the worse that happens is localised swelling of a limb.
Seriously no big deal here.
 
2013-02-14 04:40:39 AM
Fark just can't bring itself to give the Hero tag to a female golfer, can it?

/not sure if serious (yes I'm saying that about myself)
 
2013-02-14 05:07:34 AM
Venomous, not poisonous.
 
2013-02-14 05:11:51 AM
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed
 
2013-02-14 05:18:54 AM

TheWarp: Strongbeerrules: Brought to you from the culture that gave the world Yahoo Serious and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Not to mention that goat's piss known as Foster's beer.

We export that so you don't drink the good stuff.


This.

I worked in an Australian liquor store for 5 years. During that whole time I sold one (1) carton of Foster's. Australians simply don't drink that garbage. Tasmanian beer is where it's at.

And speaking of "where it's at" hears Leonard Nimoy explaining the concept:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6uTmdhLK8k
 
2013-02-14 05:49:27 AM
s3.postimage.org

...in real life
 
2013-02-14 06:08:25 AM
Every time I hear something like this, it just makes me think that living in Australia is a day-to-day version of Survivor. Just walking to your car in the parking lot means you have to pass venomous adders, poison skinned frogs, paralysis ticks, two kinds of deadly spiders and jumping ants.

If there's ever some virus that wipes out 90% of the world's population, only Australians will be hardy enough to shake it off.
 
2013-02-14 07:49:54 AM

SmackLT: Every time I hear something like this, it just makes me think that living in Australia is a day-to-day version of Survivor. Just walking to your car in the parking lot means you have to pass venomous adders, poison skinned frogs, paralysis ticks, two kinds of deadly spiders and jumping ants.

If there's ever some virus that wipes out 90% of the world's population, only Australians will be hardy enough to shake it off.


Kinda early in the am for this, but THIS^
 
2013-02-14 08:18:03 AM
"A clear fluid came out," she said. "It wasn't the prettiest thing I've ever done but I had to get as much of it out of me as possible."

Hey sweetie, I got news for you: that wasn't venom, it was fluid from your own body no different that if you had popped a blister.  The first clue would have been that you squeezed out more fluid than the entire volume of the spider's body.
 
2013-02-14 08:27:47 AM

SmackLT: Every time I hear something like this, it just makes me think that living in Australia is a day-to-day version of Survivor


When I was a kid I thought the road warrior was a present day documentary.
 
2013-02-14 09:12:54 AM

sexorcisst: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 750x600]


Fark you. You and all your spidery ick.
 
2013-02-14 09:16:52 AM
i still think the Canadian trampled by the bull moose who went on to play another 36 holes is tougher.
 
2013-02-14 12:10:25 PM
Hard core golf

/never Australia
 
2013-02-14 03:34:21 PM
sexorcisst: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 750x600]

fark this shiat, that ones got a mana bar
 
2013-02-14 04:08:27 PM
It's just a black widow...

Unless she's farking old or young she would have been fine anyway.

Also that squeezing the venom out thing is total bullshiat
 
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