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(SacBee)   Monster Energy to change labeling so product can qualify as a drink. That's right, that swill you were guzzling didn't even count as a drink by this government's very lenient food standards   (sacbee.com) divider line 133
    More: Interesting, Monster Energy, monsters, food standards, Beverage Digest  
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10619 clicks; posted to Business » on 13 Feb 2013 at 8:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 08:33:58 PM
I love Lo-Carb Monster and Absolute Zero.

The regular stuff is just too damn sweet.
 
2013-02-13 08:34:23 PM
Great. Now it's right up there with tang. Way to go, Monster.
 
2013-02-13 08:34:26 PM
Stupid Socialist tyranny telling me what is and isn't food.
 
2013-02-13 08:37:13 PM
As long as it wakes my ass up I don't care what they call it.
 
2013-02-13 08:38:48 PM
Monster Energy Cable to change labeling so products can qualify as a drink overpriced and useless. That's right, that swill those cables you were guzzling coerced into buying by your local brick and mortar store employee didn't even count as a drink inherently as good as the cables at Monoprice by this government's very lenient food communication standards

Whew. Fixed that to fit into another eventual greenlight. You're welcome
 
2013-02-13 08:39:25 PM
Say what you will about Monster Energy, at least it has nothing to do with Michael Savage.
 
2013-02-13 08:39:44 PM

sanriosucks: Great. Now it's right up there with tang. Way to go, Monster.


www.halfmoonbay.co.uk
 
2013-02-13 08:42:52 PM
I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.
 
2013-02-13 08:43:25 PM
Label it as a diet enhancer.
for the fatties.
Then it will fly off the shelves at woolmort.
 
2013-02-13 08:45:25 PM
Lenient? You can't even use the original recipe in the US!
 
2013-02-13 08:45:33 PM
I loved Monster Nitrous, but it seems to have disappeared.

/Bummer
 
2013-02-13 08:46:15 PM

max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.


I work near a heavy agriculture area and in the morning I see the local crop pickers at the gas station all buying one or two monsters. I'm a pretty big fan of hydration, so I always wince at the thought of a no water, all monster day in the hot sun while picking squash.
 
2013-02-13 08:48:12 PM
Great, I can finally unleash the beast as I go wildly chaotic-evil with my 15th level Orc-Halfling, Gulpula, at the next all-night D&D-fests, WITHOUT SHAME.
 
2013-02-13 08:49:09 PM

max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.


You arent working hard enough
 
2013-02-13 08:49:48 PM
one more reason to boo and hiss at the 'America is #1' propaganda. this type of shiat doesn't fly in Germany. their government looks out for their people. their airplanes are properly maintained. their children are safe when those little carnivals come to town because everything is inspected.

plus they got that whole wimmen & beer thing going for them, too.
 
2013-02-13 08:50:10 PM
Didn't read TFA.

Probably has to do with sales tax.  Energy drinks are considered supplements in NV, so they're taxed unlike other drinks.  Around early 2011 or so, there were letters posted at gas stations, etc. with text from state dept. of taxation that implied that they were always supposed to be taxed.
 
2013-02-13 08:50:59 PM

max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.


Madness!
 
2013-02-13 08:51:25 PM

sanriosucks: max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.

I work near a heavy agriculture area and in the morning I see the local crop pickers at the gas station all buying one or two monsters. I'm a pretty big fan of hydration, so I always wince at the thought of a no water, all monster day in the hot sun while picking squash.


I always thought they drank Mexican coffee:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-13 08:51:51 PM

KrispyKritter: one more reason to boo and hiss at the 'America is #1' propaganda. this type of shiat doesn't fly in Germany. their government looks out for their people. their airplanes are properly maintained. their children are safe when those little carnivals come to town because everything is inspected.

plus they got that whole wimmen & beer thing going for them, too.


AND their trains run on time.
 
2013-02-13 08:53:24 PM

Madman drummers bummers: KrispyKritter: one more reason to boo and hiss at the 'America is #1' propaganda. this type of shiat doesn't fly in Germany. their government looks out for their people. their airplanes are properly maintained. their children are safe when those little carnivals come to town because everything is inspected.

plus they got that whole wimmen & beer thing going for them, too.

AND their trains run on time.


And in Berlin each tree is numbered and logged in a government file. Seriously they are
 
2013-02-13 08:53:51 PM

An-Unnecessarily-Long-Name: max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.

You arent working hard enough


By my standards, my 9 hour work day is way too long but then again the mortgage has to get paid...
 
2013-02-13 08:54:12 PM

ptelg: Lenient? You can't even use the original recipe in the US!


You could say the same thing about Coca Cola.
 
2013-02-13 08:54:22 PM

amquelbettamin: Madman drummers bummers: KrispyKritter: one more reason to boo and hiss at the 'America is #1' propaganda. this type of shiat doesn't fly in Germany. their government looks out for their people. their airplanes are properly maintained. their children are safe when those little carnivals come to town because everything is inspected.

plus they got that whole wimmen & beer thing going for them, too.

AND their trains run on time.

And in Berlin each tree is numbered and logged in a government file. Seriously they are


Oh ja? Perhaps we should see your papers, bitte
 
2013-02-13 08:57:34 PM
TFA says taurine is a little-known additive. How does anybody not know what taurine is? You know, the thing your cat MUST eat to prevent blindness?
 
2013-02-13 09:00:51 PM
Stop beating around the bush and just buy caffeine pills, save yourself some money and empty calories.
 
2013-02-13 09:01:07 PM

sanriosucks: max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.

I work near a heavy agriculture area and in the morning I see the local crop pickers at the gas station all buying one or two monsters. I'm a pretty big fan of hydration, so I always wince at the thought of a no water, all monster day in the hot sun while picking squash.


fc05.deviantart.net
 
2013-02-13 09:01:22 PM
So, what is with the people who accessorize with the Monster logo? Why would you want that on your truck, hat, or body? I don't get it.
 
2013-02-13 09:05:07 PM

max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.


Right there with you. Never had a Monster, Red Bull, Rockstar whatsoever. A coffee will do the trick, and if it doesn't, I'll be asleep a bit earlier today.
 
2013-02-13 09:08:02 PM

Nem Wan: TFA says taurine is a little-known additive. How does anybody not know what taurine is? You know, the thing your cat MUST eat to prevent blindness?


I don't have a cat and I hardly drink energy beverages except for coffee. Why am I supposed to know what taurine is?
 
2013-02-13 09:08:37 PM
Easy way to get more sales, the rule is products with "nutrition fact" labels are allowed to be sold with food stamps, while products with "supplemental fact" labels are not.
 
2013-02-13 09:11:03 PM

SurelyShirley: max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.

Right there with you. Never had a Monster, Red Bull, Rockstar whatsoever. A coffee will do the trick, and if it doesn't, I'll be asleep a bit earlier today.


I never liked the taste of coffee, so all my artificial energy comes in can form.
 
2013-02-13 09:14:41 PM

max_pooper: I've never had one of these non-food item Monster Energy Drinks.

My preferred method of "waking up" is getting sufficient sleep the night before.


How can I sleep with all of these energy drinks in my system?
 
2013-02-13 09:15:41 PM
A Monster is pretty good when you're hungover. Not quite Mountain Dew (guess it's the vegetable oil in it) but it definitely helps
 
2013-02-13 09:16:35 PM

Nem Wan: TFA says taurine is a little-known additive. How does anybody not know what taurine is? You know, the thing your cat MUST eat to prevent blindness?


This. If you eat meat you get plenty of it already. Article makes it sound like this naturally-occuring amino acid that makes up 0.1% of human body weight is some kind of new, unknown, dangerous chemical...
 
2013-02-13 09:18:19 PM
Hmm, I do drink a lot of Monster... These just appeared at my local grocery though, and I am enjoying one right now (as I am supposed to be working on a coding project and not reading Fark)...

<img src="http://a248.e.akamai.net/origin-cdn.volusion.com/xfore.gofgn/v/v spfile s/photos/R-BA10-2.jpg?1342627403 ">

Sadly it looks as though it used to be called g33k b33r, but they must have changed it...
 
2013-02-13 09:18:49 PM

Milo1974: Easy way to get more sales, the rule is products with "nutrition fact" labels are allowed to be sold with food stamps, while products with "supplemental fact" labels are not.


This is 100% true. This will allow Monster to be covered by Link now.
 
2013-02-13 09:19:02 PM
Ah FFS.

a248.e.akamai.net
 
2013-02-13 09:20:15 PM
"Notably, companies that make dietary supplements are required to report incidents of adverse effects to the FDA while food makers are not. A spokeswoman for the FDA did not immediately know how many, if any, reports of adverse effects Monster had made to the agency."

And there you have it.  Every time some 12 year old drinks 5 cans of monster and ends up in the ER, they had to report it.  Now they don't.  Better to change the formula a little than kill the golden goose through bad PR.
 
2013-02-13 09:23:11 PM

RatMaster999: I love Lo-Carb Monster and Absolute Zero.

The regular stuff is just too damn sweet.


we have a new zero carb one, Ultimate zero
 
2013-02-13 09:24:54 PM
Interesting to note that the article mentions that "supplements" have to pass on reports of adverse effects to the FDA, whereas foods and beverages do not.

Perhaps all the hype about how "energy drinks" will make our heads explode has them worried they'll be suddenly inundated with reports of heart palpitations from all the fools who chug five cans in the morning and are worried about FDA scrutiny...
 
2013-02-13 09:26:05 PM

wyltoknow: Nem Wan: TFA says taurine is a little-known additive. How does anybody not know what taurine is? You know, the thing your cat MUST eat to prevent blindness?

I don't have a cat and I hardly drink energy beverages except for coffee. Why am I supposed to know what taurine is?


A lot of people don't because packaged cat food, kibble or the gooshy fuds, usually has enough taurine. You usually don't see taurine deficiency in cats that are eating commercial cat food, but you can see it in cats who own people who aren't aware of its importance in a cat's diet and feed it a home cooked diet or vegetarian diet.

Basically, it's an essential amino acid for cats and as such, is a precursor to muscle growth, among other things. Not only can they go blind due to macular degeneration, but they can have stunted growth and suffer heart failure. The problem is that taurine is not one of the nine essential amino acid for humans, so vegetarian or vegan owners may not know if they're going to put their kitteh on a veg diet, they need to match amino acids or supplement with essential amino acids for their cat, just like they do for themselves - just add some taurine for the cat.

In other words, it's not a huge problem unless someone is nutty enough to want a carnivore for a pet, but they want it to be a vegetarian and don't research the amino acid matching and supplementing of essential amino acids. They may not even be aware that kind of thing varies among species.
 
2013-02-13 09:28:20 PM
Bawls > Monster in it's various forms > Rockstars > redbull.

I can't stand redbull actually, I can't stand paying nearly double for the same amount of drink that doesn't taste very good
 
2013-02-13 09:28:46 PM

asynchron: Sadly it looks as though it used to be called g33k b33r, but they must have changed it...


I think that the G33k B33r is a different flavor, in a blue bottle.
 
2013-02-13 09:28:56 PM
Monster gives my hives if I drink it prior to gymming and it tastes terrible. Hubby bought a pallet at the buy in bulk store.
 
2013-02-13 09:29:38 PM

TheDirtyNacho: "Notably, companies that make dietary supplements are required to report incidents of adverse effects to the FDA while food makers are not. A spokeswoman for the FDA did not immediately know how many, if any, reports of adverse effects Monster had made to the agency."

And there you have it.  Every time some 12 year old drinks 5 cans of monster and ends up in the ER, they had to report it.  Now they don't.  Better to change the formula a little than kill the golden goose through bad PR.


scary
 
2013-02-13 09:29:39 PM
You can buy it on food stamps too. Fake money for fake drinks.
 
2013-02-13 09:34:26 PM
Binge are the best energy drink I've ever had. If you mix it with chocolate vodka, it's amazing.
 
2013-02-13 09:36:16 PM

fanbladesaresharp: You can buy it on food stamps too. Fake money for fake drinks.


That word "fake"... I don't think it means what you think it does. By that same logic a check is fake? How about a paycheck given to government workers? How are they even slightly different as a method of payment?
 
2013-02-13 09:37:23 PM
Jolt is the only "energy" drink I have ever had.

I'm old.
 
2013-02-13 09:38:04 PM
I will say that Redbull and Vodka manages to seriously fark me up quite rapidly, and in a way that's enjoyable.
 
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