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(AARP)   The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day   (aarp.org) divider line 27
    More: Amusing, Valentine's Day, Cupid, anorexics  
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16281 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-13 08:44:40 PM
11 votes:
To be fair, every ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown is technically a CROTCHLESS ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown
2013-02-13 09:33:56 PM
4 votes:
The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day

...

img1.fark.net

...

i1.kym-cdn.com
2013-02-13 08:32:23 PM
4 votes:
just fine without pics
2013-02-13 09:11:11 PM
3 votes:

i.imgur.com


i.imgur.com


Who the FARK cruises the AARP for lingerie?
2013-02-14 01:50:07 AM
2 votes:

kevhead07: EVERY piece of lingerie I bought the ex was worn once, then stored in a cardboard box.

/no longer married
//have not seen lingerie in 7 years
///bitter
////first use of slashies ever
//amidoinitrite?


Is she your ex because every piece of lingerie you bought her had already been worn once before you boxed it up?
2013-02-14 01:14:08 AM
2 votes:
I bought a grocery bag for her head and one for me in case hers fell off during sex.  Also useful for NFL games depending upon how bad your team is.
o5.com
2013-02-14 12:40:56 AM
2 votes:

Vodka Zombie: Two words: fractured pelvis.


When I was going though medic school, we had to take a class in geriatrics.  That's all well and good, as most of our patients are of the blue hair persuasion.  But the class was mostly designed for nursing students, so it covered things like prolonged care and medications over time...

The worst part, or the most awesome depending on how you look at it, is that the book included two pages of diagrams on how to instruct old people in having sex post hip or knee replacements.  You know, to cause the least amount of stress off the joints.  Complete with stick figure drawings explaining each and every position.  I came home, mostly laughing and kind of crying, and showing my wife because there were actually positions in there I had never heard of and would like to try if I could get the image of old people doing it out of my head.

The wife, who actually took that course when she was in nursing school, was not impressed.

/have to see if I still have that book so I can post a scan of the kinky geriatric stick figures
2013-02-14 12:32:52 AM
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Oblig?
2013-02-14 12:28:24 AM
2 votes:
Thanks for the site subby I signed my hubby up for everything...
He will ahte me in the morning and not know how they got his info bwahahahaha
2013-02-14 12:17:03 AM
2 votes:

MadameX: [i911.photobucket.com image 500x400]


ninjamonkey.us
2013-02-13 09:47:17 PM
2 votes:
...peekaboo bras

Phyllis Diller: "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo"

/"AARP" and "Lingerie" are two words that really shouldn't appear together on the same page much less in the same sentence.
2013-02-13 09:21:59 PM
2 votes:
api.ning.com
2013-02-13 09:14:44 PM
2 votes:
Oh sure.  Make fun of elderly and sex.

Do you know how difficult it is for an elderly woman to get her breasts to spin or swing in such a manner as they don't hit one another and  become tied in a knot?

That takes real talent.
2013-02-14 07:35:46 AM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly


I'm not sure how you pulled that off at the HD but kudos to you crazy kids
2013-02-14 04:34:34 AM
1 votes:
The trick is to buy the stuff in just the right size.

That way, if it doesn't fit her you can wear it yourself.
2013-02-14 01:33:05 AM
1 votes:
Nothing screams more about romance more than a white lacy colostomy bag.
2013-02-14 01:22:00 AM
1 votes:

Podmore: Lingerie is a bad gift idea unless you're absolutely certain your girl wants it.  Quite a number of women see it for what it really is: a gift for yourself that she wears.


I don' think that's even a question.  Everyone knows this is the case. But why is it that women always get the good end of Valentine's Day?  Us guys deserve one too.

That said, I just convinced my wife with subtle hints that I bought her lingerie for today.  I actually got her one of those pajama-gram things, with nothing sexy.  Just comfy.  My lady LOVES pajamas, and all of her old sets are getting a little thread bare, so I figured she would like this more.  But my hints were vague enough that she thinks some leather corset with matching riding crop is going to show up for her at work today.  

Screwing with her is the most fun I'll have in the day.
2013-02-14 12:53:09 AM
1 votes:

Shadowknight: Vodka Zombie: Two words: fractured pelvis.

When I was going though medic school, we had to take a class in geriatrics.  That's all well and good, as most of our patients are of the blue hair persuasion.  But the class was mostly designed for nursing students, so it covered things like prolonged care and medications over time...

The worst part, or the most awesome depending on how you look at it, is that the book included two pages of diagrams on how to instruct old people in having sex post hip or knee replacements.  You know, to cause the least amount of stress off the joints.  Complete with stick figure drawings explaining each and every position.  I came home, mostly laughing and kind of crying, and showing my wife because there were actually positions in there I had never heard of and would like to try if I could get the image of old people doing it out of my head.

The wife, who actually took that course when she was in nursing school, was not impressed.

/have to see if I still have that book so I can post a scan of the kinky geriatric stick figures


A GIS came up short, but did find this:

tcor.files.wordpress.com
2013-02-14 12:12:58 AM
1 votes:
Seriously boomers, no one wants to hear that shiat.
2013-02-14 12:06:05 AM
1 votes:
i911.photobucket.com
2013-02-14 12:04:09 AM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly




CSB: About twenty years ago I worked with a guy who had a pretty hot girlfriend that he took for granted. We were both working on Valentine's day, and I asked him what he got her for V day. "I took her out to dinner the other night, that was supposed to be for Valentine's." I said "C'mon dude, you've got to get her something today!" He said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I didn't see him for a couple of days, but when I did, he told me enthusiastically "Dude, I owe you one. I called a florist, and had them deliver flowers to her work. When I got home, she said I should take a shower. When I got out, the lights were down, candles were lit, she'd been to Victoria's Secret..." I told him "Those who can't do, teach." He was a lucky bastard, and still is.
2013-02-13 11:51:19 PM
1 votes:
Think long and loose on an AARP site?
OK.
Schindler's List and your grandmother.
2013-02-13 10:14:32 PM
1 votes:

Vitamin Pb: [i1078.photobucket.com image 600x808]


I don't think they are members of AARP...
thank you.
2013-02-13 10:02:32 PM
1 votes:
The suggestions were actually pretty good.

1) Forget skimpy, sheer or tight.
2) Don't even try to buy bras, panties, thongs or G-strings.
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels.
4) Think long and loose.
5) Stage a two-person fashion show.

/looking forward to having a lot of old person sex
//in 30 years
2013-02-13 08:35:39 PM
1 votes:
Oh Gerald you shouldn't have.  A frilly burka, just what I wanted!
2013-02-13 06:31:55 PM
1 votes:
Two words: fractured pelvis.
2013-02-13 06:13:29 PM
1 votes:
I was about to click the link, until I noticed "AARP."

Good one, Subbsy. You almost got me.
 
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