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(AARP)   The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day   (aarp.org) divider line 112
    More: Amusing, Valentine's Day, Cupid, anorexics  
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16293 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2013-02-13 06:13:29 PM
I was about to click the link, until I noticed "AARP."

Good one, Subbsy. You almost got me.
 
2013-02-13 06:31:55 PM
Two words: fractured pelvis.
 
2013-02-13 08:32:23 PM
just fine without pics
 
2013-02-13 08:35:39 PM
Oh Gerald you shouldn't have.  A frilly burka, just what I wanted!
 
2013-02-13 08:44:40 PM
To be fair, every ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown is technically a CROTCHLESS ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown
 
2013-02-13 09:11:11 PM

i.imgur.com


i.imgur.com


Who the FARK cruises the AARP for lingerie?
 
2013-02-13 09:14:44 PM
Oh sure.  Make fun of elderly and sex.

Do you know how difficult it is for an elderly woman to get her breasts to spin or swing in such a manner as they don't hit one another and  become tied in a knot?

That takes real talent.
 
2013-02-13 09:21:59 PM
api.ning.com
 
2013-02-13 09:33:56 PM
The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day

...

img1.fark.net

...

i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-13 09:47:17 PM
...peekaboo bras

Phyllis Diller: "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo"

/"AARP" and "Lingerie" are two words that really shouldn't appear together on the same page much less in the same sentence.
 
2013-02-13 09:50:54 PM
Could be worse, it could've been a similar list for young kids sponsored by pedo bear; with pictures.

/old people sex doesn't bother me, just don't tell me stories or pictures.
 
2013-02-13 10:02:32 PM
The suggestions were actually pretty good.

1) Forget skimpy, sheer or tight.
2) Don't even try to buy bras, panties, thongs or G-strings.
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels.
4) Think long and loose.
5) Stage a two-person fashion show.

/looking forward to having a lot of old person sex
//in 30 years
 
2013-02-13 10:09:32 PM
Well this has taken a turn for the ugly. Must try to fix...

i1078.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 10:11:02 PM
i1078.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 10:14:32 PM

Vitamin Pb: [i1078.photobucket.com image 600x808]


I don't think they are members of AARP...
thank you.
 
2013-02-13 10:15:31 PM

Krieghund: The suggestions were actually pretty good.

4) Think long and loose.

i1078.photobucket.com

 
2013-02-13 10:16:10 PM
Subby checks out the American Association of Retired People for lingerie ideas and has a problem with what be good ideas for most Retired People... Must be gunning for a grey saggy ex cougar working the lace french cut panties and matching bra...
 
2013-02-13 10:16:53 PM
i1078.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 10:18:37 PM
Even something simple like this isn't ba
d.i1078.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 10:24:02 PM

Vitamin Pb: Well this has taken a turn for the ugly. Must try to fix...

[i1078.photobucket.com image 360x480]


Giggitty!

Well played.

It is the FSM's own work you do here!

Pasta blessings be upon you and your house down unto the nth generation.
 
2013-02-13 10:41:04 PM
i1078.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 11:44:03 PM
If you're going to buy a g-string, just go ahead and get a tube of Vagisil.
 
2013-02-13 11:45:45 PM
hawt i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-13 11:50:01 PM
Actually, not bad advice if you want to get her something she likes.  If you want to get her something to turn you on, which is the real reason men buy lingerie, then you want skin.
 
2013-02-13 11:51:19 PM
Think long and loose on an AARP site?
OK.
Schindler's List and your grandmother.
 
2013-02-13 11:52:51 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-13 11:54:09 PM
EVERY piece of lingerie I bought the ex was worn once, then stored in a cardboard box.

/no longer married
//have not seen lingerie in 7 years
///bitter
////first use of slashies ever
//amidoinitrite?
 
2013-02-13 11:54:37 PM
I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly
 
2013-02-13 11:56:32 PM
take some back? what kind of cheap ass are you? what, enclose a note: "these didn't get me hard even with the viagra. give me back my money."

most places won't take stuff back if you cut the tags out even is you say they were a gift. so you can impress your honey with your cheapness by leaving them in. that "the red looks sexy" won't mean much when you pack in back up.

AARP has some major fail on occasion and this fits right in.
 
2013-02-13 11:58:52 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: hawt [i.imgur.com image 400x447]


Boney knees, I'd giver her a 2/10
 
2013-02-14 12:00:14 AM
If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.
 
2013-02-14 12:03:30 AM

L.D. Ablo:


I actually find that kinda hot.

But then, I appreciate it when someone dresses up for me.
 
2013-02-14 12:04:09 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly




CSB: About twenty years ago I worked with a guy who had a pretty hot girlfriend that he took for granted. We were both working on Valentine's day, and I asked him what he got her for V day. "I took her out to dinner the other night, that was supposed to be for Valentine's." I said "C'mon dude, you've got to get her something today!" He said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I didn't see him for a couple of days, but when I did, he told me enthusiastically "Dude, I owe you one. I called a florist, and had them deliver flowers to her work. When I got home, she said I should take a shower. When I got out, the lights were down, candles were lit, she'd been to Victoria's Secret..." I told him "Those who can't do, teach." He was a lucky bastard, and still is.
 
2013-02-14 12:05:41 AM
Professional fitting that you get to sit in on, all day.

/thank you and high fives accepted as payment
 
2013-02-14 12:06:05 AM
i911.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-14 12:06:11 AM

wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.


I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.
 
2013-02-14 12:12:58 AM
Seriously boomers, no one wants to hear that shiat.
 
2013-02-14 12:15:30 AM
my wife is a size 16 and wears 36H bra's

i cannot find anything sexy that fits her
 
2013-02-14 12:16:57 AM
Gah!  Nobody wants to see AARP and lingerie in the same...anything.
 
2013-02-14 12:17:03 AM

MadameX: [i911.photobucket.com image 500x400]


ninjamonkey.us
 
2013-02-14 12:26:09 AM
she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-14 12:28:24 AM
Thanks for the site subby I signed my hubby up for everything...
He will ahte me in the morning and not know how they got his info bwahahahaha
 
2013-02-14 12:29:20 AM
 
2013-02-14 12:29:23 AM

TheCheese: I was about to click the link, until I noticed "AARP."

Good one, Subbsy. You almost got me.


I skipped my goddam after-dinner coffee, saw a vaguely red icon and something about lingerie, and... shiat...
 
2013-02-14 12:29:49 AM

kiwimoogle84: wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.


I'd be happy with like, season 7 of Supernatural... I'm making my own brownies, since he doesn't cook much. Also I don't expect a damn thing out of him at this point, because he's been at work since 8 am YESTERDAY and isn't home yet :(

/stupid server
//YUCRASHNBURN
 
2013-02-14 12:30:22 AM
alteredidentity.com

/Yes you would
 
2013-02-14 12:32:13 AM
drjekel_mrhyde: hawt

Nawt
 
2013-02-14 12:32:20 AM

Omahawg: she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x677]


That's akin to looking at the ruins of the Parthenon.
 
2013-02-14 12:32:43 AM
Good ideas for grandma.
 
2013-02-14 12:32:52 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Oblig?
 
2013-02-14 12:34:24 AM
Alright, Vitamin Pb tried to get this going with some eye bleach at least but well.....
24.media.tumblr.com
I hate Valentines day, but I'll be nice.
25.media.tumblr.com
Advertisement for La Roche early 1950′s
 
2013-02-14 12:35:56 AM

ladyfortuna: kiwimoogle84: wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.

I'd be happy with like, season 7 of Supernatural... I'm making my own brownies, since he doesn't cook much. Also I don't expect a damn thing out of him at this point, because he's been at work since 8 am YESTERDAY and isn't home yet :(

/stupid server
//YUCRASHNBURN


It's all on Netflix instant, lady.

I know this. I watch them at work sometimes, and the 7.99 is SO worth having all of those, HIMYM, and The Office at my fingertips.

And he may yet surprise you. He finds time to eat, surely he can take a minute and send you flowers. :)

I would love some sunflowers, but they aren't exactly in season. Le sigh.
 
2013-02-14 12:36:26 AM
If nothing else, just let her buy the lingerie. If she's not the type to go shopping for lingerie... leave her.
 
2013-02-14 12:40:28 AM

I Like Bread: If nothing else, just let her buy the lingerie. If she's not the type to go shopping for lingerie... leave her.


Ehhh, I might have to protest that point. I love shopping for lingerie, don't get me wrong, but it can be a HUGE waste of money, and I have better things to spend my cash on. Now- if the mister handed me fifty bucks and said "come home with something you'll slowly strip off later", I'm 10000% down with that.

I don't count every day brassieres and undies as "lingerie"-I have tons of it in all kinds of colors and styles. I just don't do granny panties. However, I don't have any teddies or bustiers or anything.
 
2013-02-14 12:40:56 AM

Vodka Zombie: Two words: fractured pelvis.


When I was going though medic school, we had to take a class in geriatrics.  That's all well and good, as most of our patients are of the blue hair persuasion.  But the class was mostly designed for nursing students, so it covered things like prolonged care and medications over time...

The worst part, or the most awesome depending on how you look at it, is that the book included two pages of diagrams on how to instruct old people in having sex post hip or knee replacements.  You know, to cause the least amount of stress off the joints.  Complete with stick figure drawings explaining each and every position.  I came home, mostly laughing and kind of crying, and showing my wife because there were actually positions in there I had never heard of and would like to try if I could get the image of old people doing it out of my head.

The wife, who actually took that course when she was in nursing school, was not impressed.

/have to see if I still have that book so I can post a scan of the kinky geriatric stick figures
 
2013-02-14 12:42:00 AM

I Like Bread: If nothing else, just let her buy the lingerie. If she's not the type to go shopping for lingerie... leave her.


Now you tell me.
 
2013-02-14 12:44:12 AM
This thread just cries for the quote from Norm:  "Women.  You can't live with them.  Pass the beer nuts.".
 
2013-02-14 12:45:20 AM

kiwimoogle84: ladyfortuna: kiwimoogle84: wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.

I'd be happy with like, season 7 of Supernatural... I'm making my own brownies, since he doesn't cook much. Also I don't expect a damn thing out of him at this point, because he's been at work since 8 am YESTERDAY and isn't home yet :(

/stupid server
//YUCRASHNBURN

It's all on Netflix instant, lady.

I know this. I watch them at work sometimes, and the 7.99 is SO worth having all of those, HIMYM, and The Office at my fingertips.

And he may yet surprise you. He finds time to eat, surely he can take a minute and send you flowers. :)

I would love some sunflowers, but they aren't exactly in season. Le sigh.


can still get em on 1800 flowers ;-)

current lady despises valentines day with and unholy passion and will be working late so i took her out for a lil dinner tonight and got her a pair of earrings (she actually was pissed i got her anything)
 
2013-02-14 12:51:27 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
25.media.tumblr.com
valentine's day 1930s
 
2013-02-14 12:53:09 AM

Shadowknight: Vodka Zombie: Two words: fractured pelvis.

When I was going though medic school, we had to take a class in geriatrics.  That's all well and good, as most of our patients are of the blue hair persuasion.  But the class was mostly designed for nursing students, so it covered things like prolonged care and medications over time...

The worst part, or the most awesome depending on how you look at it, is that the book included two pages of diagrams on how to instruct old people in having sex post hip or knee replacements.  You know, to cause the least amount of stress off the joints.  Complete with stick figure drawings explaining each and every position.  I came home, mostly laughing and kind of crying, and showing my wife because there were actually positions in there I had never heard of and would like to try if I could get the image of old people doing it out of my head.

The wife, who actually took that course when she was in nursing school, was not impressed.

/have to see if I still have that book so I can post a scan of the kinky geriatric stick figures


A GIS came up short, but did find this:

tcor.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-14 12:53:22 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Oh sure.  Make fun of elderly and sex.

Do you know how difficult it is for an elderly woman to get her breasts to spin or swing in such a manner as they don't hit one another and  become tied in a knot?

That takes real talent.


Go on...
 
2013-02-14 12:53:53 AM

Phony_Soldier: I Like Bread: If nothing else, just let her buy the lingerie. If she's not the type to go shopping for lingerie... leave her.

Now you tell me.


My wife is fond of pointing out that lingerie is pointless because the ultimate goal is to eventually not wear it. Can't say I disagree with the logic.
 
2013-02-14 12:57:39 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: hawt [i.imgur.com image 400x447]


Wow. Lindsay Lohan has gone downhill in a hurry. Meth, not even once.
 
2013-02-14 01:02:16 AM

mizchief: A GIS came up short, but did find this:


I think that may actually be better.
 
2013-02-14 01:02:22 AM
How about some nice sexy AARP swimwear.


thewildones.faketrix.com
 
2013-02-14 01:04:57 AM

Candygram for Mongo: How about some nice sexy AARP swimwear.


[thewildones.faketrix.com image 540x405]


Why is she wearing that ugly leather jacket at thOH MY GOD MY EYES...

Seriously, the horrible leather wrinkles are bad enough, but the inexplicably smooth patches between her shoulders and across her thighs are somehow worse.
 
2013-02-14 01:08:15 AM
beautyhill.com

herblog.com

There, that's better.
 
2013-02-14 01:08:40 AM

redomega: [alteredidentity.com image 600x400]

/Yes you would


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-14 01:08:49 AM

Shadowknight: Candygram for Mongo: How about some nice sexy AARP swimwear.


[thewildones.faketrix.com image 540x405]

Why is she wearing that ugly leather jacket at thOH MY GOD MY EYES...

Seriously, the horrible leather wrinkles are bad enough, but the inexplicably smooth patches between her shoulders and across her thighs are somehow worse.


Her skin has lost all elasticity, apparently.
 
2013-02-14 01:09:59 AM
Don't let your meat loaf.
davidstoker.com


 
2013-02-14 01:11:58 AM

Krieghund: 4) Think long and loose.


like sleeve of wizard
 
2013-02-14 01:13:35 AM

Krieghund: The suggestions were actually pretty good.

1) Forget skimpy, sheer or tight.
2) Don't even try to buy bras, panties, thongs or G-strings.
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels.
4) Think long and loose.
5) Stage a two-person fashion show.

/looking forward to having a lot of old person sex
//in 30 years


Actually, at 25, I was telling my ex (because he's a farking psycho, not because of lingerie) #2. Seriously, gents, if you aren't positive on exactly the right size that fits us perfectly, don't. That shiat is uncomfortable as fark if it's the wrong size.

And the tips about silk...oh my farking god, yes. A man who buys me silk lingerie is most definitely going to get a show of appreciation that will keep him up most of the night.
 
2013-02-14 01:14:08 AM
I bought a grocery bag for her head and one for me in case hers fell off during sex.  Also useful for NFL games depending upon how bad your team is.
o5.com
 
2013-02-14 01:14:55 AM

kkinnison: my wife is a size 16 and wears 36H bra's

i cannot find anything sexy that fits her


perhaps the problem is with the wearer and not the clothes
 
2013-02-14 01:16:12 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: valentine's day 1930s


I. Want. That.
 
2013-02-14 01:16:14 AM

Krieghund: The suggestions were actually pretty good.

1) Forget skimpy, sheer or tight.
2) Don't even try to buy bras, panties, thongs or G-strings.
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels.
4) Think long and loose.
5) Stage a two-person fashion show.


This.  To paraphrase Richard Pryor, "You don't get to be old laid by being a fool".
 
2013-02-14 01:17:47 AM
Lingerie is a bad gift idea unless you're absolutely certain your girl wants it.  Quite a number of women see it for what it really is: a gift for yourself that she wears.  If you really want to get it, get something else and the lingerie in addition.

But then, I also thought tfa's suggestions were generally pretty decent, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me
 
2013-02-14 01:21:47 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x359]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x418]
valentine's day 1930s


Mannequins ain't sexy.  Women are.  Am disappointed in you.
 
2013-02-14 01:22:00 AM

Podmore: Lingerie is a bad gift idea unless you're absolutely certain your girl wants it.  Quite a number of women see it for what it really is: a gift for yourself that she wears.


I don' think that's even a question.  Everyone knows this is the case. But why is it that women always get the good end of Valentine's Day?  Us guys deserve one too.

That said, I just convinced my wife with subtle hints that I bought her lingerie for today.  I actually got her one of those pajama-gram things, with nothing sexy.  Just comfy.  My lady LOVES pajamas, and all of her old sets are getting a little thread bare, so I figured she would like this more.  But my hints were vague enough that she thinks some leather corset with matching riding crop is going to show up for her at work today.  

Screwing with her is the most fun I'll have in the day.
 
2013-02-14 01:24:40 AM

Shadowknight: Podmore: Lingerie is a bad gift idea unless you're absolutely certain your girl wants it.  Quite a number of women see it for what it really is: a gift for yourself that she wears.

I don' think that's even a question.  Everyone knows this is the case. But why is it that women always get the good end of Valentine's Day?  Us guys deserve one too.

That said, I just convinced my wife with subtle hints that I bought her lingerie for today.  I actually got her one of those pajama-gram things, with nothing sexy.  Just comfy.  My lady LOVES pajamas, and all of her old sets are getting a little thread bare, so I figured she would like this more.  But my hints were vague enough that she thinks some leather corset with matching riding crop is going to show up for her at work today.  

Screwing with her is the most fun I'll have in the day.


Once bought my ex "jammies with footies".

/My ex.
 
2013-02-14 01:26:41 AM

crabsno termites: Once bought my ex "jammies with footies".


I thought about it, as they had them on there.  I think she might actually like them.  But instead I went with the baggy fleece pants and shirt and another one made of t-shirt material.  Along with a pack of rose shaped and scented bath soap things.

/knowing my girl, this gift is way more likely to get me laid than any piece of skimpy underwear
 
2013-02-14 01:27:05 AM

Shadowknight: Podmore: Lingerie is a bad gift idea unless you're absolutely certain your girl wants it.  Quite a number of women see it for what it really is: a gift for yourself that she wears.

I don' think that's even a question.  Everyone knows this is the case. But why is it that women always get the good end of Valentine's Day?  Us guys deserve one too.

That said, I just convinced my wife with subtle hints that I bought her lingerie for today.  I actually got her one of those pajama-gram things, with nothing sexy.  Just comfy.  My lady LOVES pajamas, and all of her old sets are getting a little thread bare, so I figured she would like this more.  But my hints were vague enough that she thinks some leather corset with matching riding crop is going to show up for her at work today.  

Screwing with her is the most fun I'll have in the day.


And screwing her will probably not be.
 
2013-02-14 01:28:25 AM

JWideman: And screwing her will probably not be.


Naw, she's used to my idiocy by now.

/13 years married, 16 together, and going strong so far
 
2013-02-14 01:30:24 AM
///Shadowknight: crabsno termites: Once bought my ex "jammies with footies".

I thought about it, as they had them on there.  I think she might actually like them.  But instead I went with the baggy fleece pants and shirt and another one made of t-shirt material.  Along with a pack of rose shaped and scented bath soap things.

/knowing my girl, this gift is way more likely to get me laid than any piece of skimpy underwear



The ones I bought were tight, sheer, I liked 'em,

/Yes, I'm alone.
//Fap
 
2013-02-14 01:32:54 AM

kiwimoogle84: You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.


She's babysitting for a friend tomorrow, so we did your V-day thing today.

I got her a new plaything, and used it after our steak dinner.

She couldn't walk afterwards. (weak in he knees and all.) I have never felt more manly.

/except for that one time i killed a bear with a chainsaw
//jimmyjane.com - hellotouch (if you were wondering)
 
2013-02-14 01:33:05 AM
Nothing screams more about romance more than a white lacy colostomy bag.
 
2013-02-14 01:39:21 AM
www.sciencephoto.com
 
2013-02-14 01:40:30 AM
 
2013-02-14 01:48:08 AM
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels. Say what?
 
2013-02-14 01:50:07 AM

kevhead07: EVERY piece of lingerie I bought the ex was worn once, then stored in a cardboard box.

/no longer married
//have not seen lingerie in 7 years
///bitter
////first use of slashies ever
//amidoinitrite?


Is she your ex because every piece of lingerie you bought her had already been worn once before you boxed it up?
 
2013-02-14 01:52:52 AM
Actually we have all the other seasons on DVD so I'd just like to continue the set; stuff goes off license on Netflix/Hulu etc occasionally so I'm not entirely willing to leave it at that. But anyway. We don't usually make a big deal out of it, since I prefer flowers to remain on the plant and grow in my yard in season anyway, but it's annoying that his job (aka server hardware) chose now to die. He's still not home and I have to go apply NyQuil and pass out, so am worried about him getting home safe...

You may now return to your underwear thread, sorry...
 
2013-02-14 01:57:42 AM
hmm, I have pretty lingerie
would men mind the Gold Bond Medicated Powder or the ointment, do you think?
I COULD wipe the ointment off mostly.
itchy
senior sex, we has it.....once in a while
 
2013-02-14 01:59:51 AM

Flragnararch: Professional fitting that you get to sit in on, all day.

/thank you and high fives accepted as payment


Also, pair of shoes and a vibrator.

/If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fark herself.
 
2013-02-14 02:12:37 AM

Repo Man: Omahawg: she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x677]


That's akin to looking at the ruins of the Parthenon.


That ol' lady rocks them bewbies like nooooobody's business.
 
2013-02-14 02:16:30 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly


and what did you get for him?

/also not bitter
 
2013-02-14 02:43:05 AM
I don't think this is bad advice for old people.

I agree don't buy a bra cause those need to be tried on, but underwear sizes are pretty standard, that's fine to buy for your lady.

I dig lingerie, would be happy to get some for v-day.

a teddy is nice to sleep in, plus sexy. I just wish they'd make them without the underwire on top, can't sleep in that.
 
2013-02-14 04:34:34 AM
The trick is to buy the stuff in just the right size.

That way, if it doesn't fit her you can wear it yourself.
 
2013-02-14 06:06:31 AM
FTFA: If you buy several items in different colors and styles, imagine the fun you'll both have as she models each outfit.

I'm imagining that...
I'm imagining not doing that now...
Well, that's much better.
 
2013-02-14 06:29:52 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly


Hate to be the one to tell you this, but they're doing it wrong.

Very wrong.

/seriously
 
2013-02-14 06:36:58 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: valentine's day 1930s


I could get behind that
 
2013-02-14 07:23:51 AM

kkinnison: my wife is a size 16 and wears 36H bra's

i cannot find anything sexy that fits her


t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-14 07:35:46 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly


I'm not sure how you pulled that off at the HD but kudos to you crazy kids
 
2013-02-14 09:07:47 AM

kremvax: kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly

and what did you get for him?

/also not bitter


I made him dinner and gave him a beej. That's my usual gift, actually. It never gets old, guys won't complain they want something else, and I'm really good at both. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2013-02-14 09:08:52 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly


At least you got something.  All I got was biatched at this morning.  Probably get more of it when I get home.  It's kinda sad when you despise your job, but would rather be at work than at home.
 
2013-02-14 09:35:28 AM

Apok451: kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly

At least you got something.  All I got was biatched at this morning.  Probably get more of it when I get home.  It's kinda sad when you despise your job, but would rather be at work than at home.


That's unfortunate. I wish more women could treat every day as a brand new start instead of holding onto shiat from 17 years ago.

Tonight I'm getting him doing the dishes before our World of Darkness game. We don't really do valentine's day, so it isn't a big deal.

On a different note, I get blood draws this morning! Yay! Blood draws on heart day. Irony.
 
2013-02-14 10:40:35 AM
Just the Way You Look TonightIan HunterI fell in love with a working girl
We both grew up in a working world
Julie Christie jaw full 'o' them pearly whites
Just the way you look tonight

She never bought herself the finest clothes
She couldn't care less about buttons and bows
She says what counts is what's inside
It's just the way you look tonight

It's just the way you look tonight
You got the face of an angel
I can feel your halo burnin' bright
Just the way you look tonight
[ There ain't no makeup, not a trace
She can cut you off and put you in your place
Her bark has gotta be worse than her bite
Just the way you look tonight

It's just the way you look tonight
You got the face of an angel
I can feel your halo burnin' bright
Just the way you look tonight

It's West Side Story
Only two lovers could tell
When you walked in the room
Everything stopped
It's inevitable
Inevitable

I fell in love with a working girl
It works for me 'n' it works for her
When we get it on lightning strikes
It's just the way you look tonight

It's just the way you look tonight
You got the face of an angel
I can feel your halo burnin' bright
Just the way you look tonight
 
2013-02-14 10:57:37 AM
FTA: "That semi-sheer bodice drives me wild"

There is something hilarious about that statement
 
2013-02-14 11:36:24 AM
Why would a man buy lingerie for women? It seems like such a chore: they don't know our size, what we like, what looks good on us.

That being said, I've bought myself sexy lingerie and it seems to do nothing for my husband. He prefers the "just get naked" look.
 
2013-02-14 01:51:00 PM

WanPhat: Actually, not bad advice if you want to get her something she likes.  If you want to get her something to turn you on, which is the real reason men buy lingerie, then you want skin.


You should buy her skin?
 
2013-02-14 03:12:16 PM

Kittypie070: Repo Man: Omahawg: she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x677]

That's akin to looking at the ruins of the Parthenon.

That ol' lady rocks them bewbies like nooooobody's business.


I hate to admit it, but when I got into my late teens I had a realization one day that old gramps really knew what he was doing. My grandma has carried some real knockers right into her 80's now, I can image she must have been a knockout back in he day.

/She's still a cruel old biatch, don't know if it's because he was a trucker or if that's why he became a trucker.
 
2013-02-14 05:27:21 PM

2KanZam: FTA: "That semi-sheer bodice drives me wild"

There is something hilarious about that statement


For me, it was imagining Walter Mathau saying it. Why? I don't know. Probably best not to think about it too much.
 
2013-02-14 06:42:30 PM

HotWingAgenda: kevhead07: EVERY piece of lingerie I bought the ex was worn once, then stored in a cardboard box.

/no longer married
//have not seen lingerie in 7 years
///bitter
////first use of slashies ever
//amidoinitrite?

Is she your ex because every piece of lingerie you bought her had already been worn once before you boxed it up?


I get it.  You funny.
Why yes, I am somewhat new here.
 
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