FARK.com: (7591299) The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day

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		The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day (aarp.org)		112
		More: Amusing, Valentine's Day, Cupid, anorexics

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16256 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:36 PM | Favorite | share:

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TheCheese		2013-02-13 06:13:29 PM

I was about to click the link, until I noticed "AARP."

Good one, Subbsy. You almost got me.

Vodka Zombie		2013-02-13 06:31:55 PM

Two words: fractured pelvis.

cretinbob		2013-02-13 08:32:23 PM

just fine without pics

brap		2013-02-13 08:35:39 PM

Oh Gerald you shouldn't have. A frilly burka, just what I wanted!

Mr. Coffee Nerves		2013-02-13 08:44:40 PM

To be fair, every ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown is technically a CROTCHLESS ankle-length, long-sleeved, high-button-collared flannel nightgown

Somacandra		2013-02-13 09:11:11 PM

i.imgur.com

Who the FARK cruises the AARP for lingerie?

I_Am_Weasel		2013-02-13 09:14:44 PM

Oh sure. Make fun of elderly and sex.

Do you know how difficult it is for an elderly woman to get her breasts to spin or swing in such a manner as they don't hit one another and become tied in a knot?

That takes real talent.

L.D. Ablo		2013-02-13 09:21:59 PM

BKITU		2013-02-13 09:33:56 PM

The world's worst suggestions for buying sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day

...

...

quatchi		2013-02-13 09:47:17 PM

...peekaboo bras

Phyllis Diller: "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo"

/"AARP" and "Lingerie" are two words that really shouldn't appear together on the same page much less in the same sentence.

lack of warmth		2013-02-13 09:50:54 PM

Could be worse, it could've been a similar list for young kids sponsored by pedo bear; with pictures.

/old people sex doesn't bother me, just don't tell me stories or pictures.

Krieghund		2013-02-13 10:02:32 PM

The suggestions were actually pretty good.

1) Forget skimpy, sheer or tight.
2) Don't even try to buy bras, panties, thongs or G-strings.
3) It's not what she reveals, it's how she feels.
4) Think long and loose.
5) Stage a two-person fashion show.

/looking forward to having a lot of old person sex
//in 30 years

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:09:32 PM

Well this has taken a turn for the ugly. Must try to fix...

i1078.photobucket.com

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:11:02 PM

sno man		2013-02-13 10:14:32 PM

Vitamin Pb: [i1078.photobucket.com image 600x808]

I don't think they are members of AARP...
thank you.

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:15:31 PM

Krieghund: The suggestions were actually pretty good.

4) Think long and loose.

sno man		2013-02-13 10:16:10 PM

Subby checks out the American Association of Retired People for lingerie ideas and has a problem with what be good ideas for most Retired People... Must be gunning for a grey saggy ex cougar working the lace french cut panties and matching bra...

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:16:53 PM

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:18:37 PM

Even something simple like this isn't ba
d. i1078.photobucket.com

quatchi		2013-02-13 10:24:02 PM

Vitamin Pb: Well this has taken a turn for the ugly. Must try to fix...

[i1078.photobucket.com image 360x480]

Giggitty!

Well played.

It is the FSM's own work you do here!

Pasta blessings be upon you and your house down unto the nth generation.

Vitamin Pb		2013-02-13 10:41:04 PM

DrZiffle		2013-02-13 11:44:03 PM

If you're going to buy a g-string, just go ahead and get a tube of Vagisil.

drjekel_mrhyde		2013-02-13 11:45:45 PM

hawt

WanPhat		2013-02-13 11:50:01 PM

Actually, not bad advice if you want to get her something she likes. If you want to get her something to turn you on, which is the real reason men buy lingerie, then you want skin.

Ryker's Peninsula		2013-02-13 11:51:19 PM

Think long and loose on an AARP site?
OK.
Schindler's List and your grandmother.

drjekel_mrhyde		2013-02-13 11:52:51 PM

kevhead07		2013-02-13 11:54:09 PM

EVERY piece of lingerie I bought the ex was worn once, then stored in a cardboard box.

/no longer married
//have not seen lingerie in 7 years
///bitter
////first use of slashies ever
//amidoinitrite?

kiwimoogle84		2013-02-13 11:54:37 PM

I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly

Curious		2013-02-13 11:56:32 PM

take some back? what kind of cheap ass are you? what, enclose a note: "these didn't get me hard even with the viagra. give me back my money."

most places won't take stuff back if you cut the tags out even is you say they were a gift. so you can impress your honey with your cheapness by leaving them in. that "the red looks sexy" won't mean much when you pack in back up.

AARP has some major fail on occasion and this fits right in.

jimboflux		2013-02-13 11:58:52 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: hawt [i.imgur.com image 400x447]

Boney knees, I'd giver her a 2/10

wingedkat		2013-02-14 12:00:14 AM

If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

wingedkat		2013-02-14 12:03:30 AM

L.D. Ablo:

I actually find that kinda hot.

But then, I appreciate it when someone dresses up for me.

Repo Man		2013-02-14 12:04:09 AM

kiwimoogle84: I had an ex boyfriend buy me a vacuum for Valentine's day.

I mean, my other one had crapped out on me, but that's not a valentine's day gift, that's "we went to Home Depot after work".

I got a package of Oreos for Valentine's day this year. Overjoyed.

/not fat
//surprisingly

CSB: About twenty years ago I worked with a guy who had a pretty hot girlfriend that he took for granted. We were both working on Valentine's day, and I asked him what he got her for V day. "I took her out to dinner the other night, that was supposed to be for Valentine's." I said "C'mon dude, you've got to get her something today!" He said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I didn't see him for a couple of days, but when I did, he told me enthusiastically "Dude, I owe you one. I called a florist, and had them deliver flowers to her work. When I got home, she said I should take a shower. When I got out, the lights were down, candles were lit, she'd been to Victoria's Secret..." I told him "Those who can't do, teach." He was a lucky bastard, and still is.

Flragnararch		2013-02-14 12:05:41 AM

Professional fitting that you get to sit in on, all day.

/thank you and high fives accepted as payment

MadameX		2013-02-14 12:06:05 AM

kiwimoogle84		2013-02-14 12:06:11 AM

wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.

GuyCaballero		2013-02-14 12:12:58 AM

Seriously boomers, no one wants to hear that shiat.

kkinnison		2013-02-14 12:15:30 AM

my wife is a size 16 and wears 36H bra's

i cannot find anything sexy that fits her

jtown		2013-02-14 12:16:57 AM

Gah! Nobody wants to see AARP and lingerie in the same...anything.

Glendale		2013-02-14 12:17:03 AM

MadameX: [i911.photobucket.com image 500x400]

ninjamonkey.us

Omahawg		2013-02-14 12:26:09 AM

she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

25.media.tumblr.com

Anthracite		2013-02-14 12:28:24 AM

Thanks for the site subby I signed my hubby up for everything...
He will ahte me in the morning and not know how they got his info bwahahahaha

HollyQueen1		2013-02-14 12:29:20 AM

Assuming that kkinnison was serious...

http://www.plussizeplum.com/
http://www.ewa-michalak.pl/search.php

MisterTweak		2013-02-14 12:29:23 AM

TheCheese: I was about to click the link, until I noticed "AARP."

Good one, Subbsy. You almost got me.

I skipped my goddam after-dinner coffee, saw a vaguely red icon and something about lingerie, and... shiat...

ladyfortuna		2013-02-14 12:29:49 AM

kiwimoogle84: wingedkat: If you don't know your lady's actual measurements, this isn't bad advice.

Why not let her buy tight, skimpy garments to turn you on?

A good v-day present should be something that turns the other person on, not what turns you on.

/I think I broke that rule this year, but only in the gift. What I'm wearing when I give it will be what counts.

I second this. Half the time I don't even get my OWN measurements right- it can be tricky when I'm a 36D in some bra brands, and a 38DD in others. And don't even get me started on the personal interpretations of S, M, and L. How the heck is a guy supposed to eyeball me and go uh, she's about this size...

You can never go wrong with sex toys though. Barring extremes, one size works for all. Yum.

I'd be happy with like, season 7 of Supernatural... I'm making my own brownies, since he doesn't cook much. Also I don't expect a damn thing out of him at this point, because he's been at work since 8 am YESTERDAY and isn't home yet :(

/stupid server
//YUCRASHNBURN

redomega		2013-02-14 12:30:22 AM

/Yes you would

EngineerBob		2013-02-14 12:32:13 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: hawt

Nawt

Repo Man		2013-02-14 12:32:20 AM

Omahawg: she told me she'd take out her teeth if I was good.

but when I'm bad i'm better

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x677]

That's akin to looking at the ruins of the Parthenon.