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(Americablog)   The AP bans using the words "Husband", "Wife" and "Fellow Human" when referring to married same-sex couples. Yes, some people have a problem with this   (americablog.com) divider line 158
    More: Stupid, U.S. state abbreviations, same-sex couples, John Aravosis, AMERICAblog, Reliable Sources, U.S. Senate, same-sex marriages, cohabitations  
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5898 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 2:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 11:09:06 AM
I nominate "penis receptor" if the other spouse is male.
 
2013-02-13 11:12:54 AM
AP is overruling the 9 states and the District of Columbia that have legal marriages for gay couples. AP says no.  They're not really marriages.
And what about foreign marriages?  Same-sex couples can marry in a growing number of countries now. AP has also decided that they're not really married either.
What business is it of the Associated Press to determine that it doesn't believe legally wed gay couples, in the US or abroad, are actually legally wed?


For fark's sake. Breathless pearl-clutching like this isn't helping.
 
2013-02-13 11:14:05 AM
Now there, my friends, is a genuinely sucky blog.
 
2013-02-13 11:22:49 AM
Umm...how about 'spouse'?
 
2013-02-13 11:25:35 AM

ZAZ: I nominate "penis receptor" if the other spouse is male.


I thought that was already the AP approved term for women.
 
2013-02-13 11:29:23 AM
I'm confused...I didn't read the AP memos to mean what the angry blogger seemed to think they meant...but I couldn't quite decide what they  actuallymeant.
 
2013-02-13 11:31:32 AM
Perhaps the AP could solve this issue by, oh I dunno, interviewing the people they're going to be discussing in their little news pieces?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 11:40:57 AM
Seriously, it was amusing to see the Boston Globe deal with same sex marriage. The newspaper was pushing for it for years. And then it happened, and as recently as last year I was still seeing stories that avoided using "husband" for a man's male spouse.
 
2013-02-13 11:43:04 AM
I call my husband Pepito,  The Old Balls and Chain.
 
2013-02-13 11:53:59 AM
They should use "Top", "Bottom", "Dom" and "Sub"

The My Little Pony Killer: Perhaps the AP could solve this issue by, oh I dunno, interviewing the people they're going to be discussing in their little news pieces?


(She self identifies as a soft-butch)
 
2013-02-13 11:54:56 AM
Husband and Wife are antiquated terms, and should be discontinued, as are Mr. and Mrs.  Just use someone's name.  Example:  "John Smith, 87 of Farkistan is survived by his spouse, Joe/Jane Smith and their three children."

If you choose to refer to your same sex spouse as husband or wife, cool, but let's use a gender neutral description for public consumption.
 
2013-02-13 11:56:27 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: Perhaps the AP could solve this issue by, oh I dunno, interviewing the people they're going to be discussing in their little news pieces?


According to TFA, that's their revised policy in response to the uproar:

SAME-SEX COUPLES: We were asked how to report about same-sex couples who call themselves "husband" and "wife." Our view is that such terms may be used in AP content if those involved have regularly used those terms ("Smith is survived by his husband, John Jones") or in quotes attributed to them. Generally AP uses couples or partners to describe people in civil unions or same-sex marriages.

It still raises the question why AP doesn't feel the need to interview straight married couples about their preferred terms or why a same-sex couple would ever get married if they didn't want to be called husband/wife.
 
2013-02-13 12:08:42 PM

Lumpmoose: The My Little Pony Killer: Perhaps the AP could solve this issue by, oh I dunno, interviewing the people they're going to be discussing in their little news pieces?

According to TFA, that's their revised policy in response to the uproar:

SAME-SEX COUPLES: We were asked how to report about same-sex couples who call themselves "husband" and "wife." Our view is that such terms may be used in AP content if those involved have regularly used those terms ("Smith is survived by his husband, John Jones") or in quotes attributed to them. Generally AP uses couples or partners to describe people in civil unions or same-sex marriages.

It still raises the question why AP doesn't feel the need to interview straight married couples about their preferred terms or why a same-sex couple would ever get married if they didn't want to be called husband/wife.


I assumed the issue was that in some same sex couples, both partners identify as husbands, or wives. And in the real world, AP isn't going to be able to determine the preference of everyone in every story. "Husband" and "wife" seem like they should be relegated to informal use and kept out of journalism anyway.
 
2013-02-13 12:24:31 PM

someonelse: Lumpmoose: The My Little Pony Killer: Perhaps the AP could solve this issue by, oh I dunno, interviewing the people they're going to be discussing in their little news pieces?

According to TFA, that's their revised policy in response to the uproar:

SAME-SEX COUPLES: We were asked how to report about same-sex couples who call themselves "husband" and "wife." Our view is that such terms may be used in AP content if those involved have regularly used those terms ("Smith is survived by his husband, John Jones") or in quotes attributed to them. Generally AP uses couples or partners to describe people in civil unions or same-sex marriages.

It still raises the question why AP doesn't feel the need to interview straight married couples about their preferred terms or why a same-sex couple would ever get married if they didn't want to be called husband/wife.

I assumed the issue was that in some same sex couples, both partners identify as husbands, or wives. And in the real world, AP isn't going to be able to determine the preference of everyone in every story. "Husband" and "wife" seem like they should be relegated to informal use and kept out of journalism anyway.


That's fine if they ditch the husband/wife terms for opposite-sex married couples as well.  All they need is consistency.
 
2013-02-13 12:25:21 PM
From TFA: Now AP has a ban on the terms husband and wife for gay couples unless the couples use the term about themselves.

I'm ok with this. As a matter of fact, I think they should expand this policy to straight couples, not force homosexual couples to identify as "husband" and "wife".

Though the best option, as said above, would be to just get rid of the terms.
 
2013-02-13 12:26:08 PM
Gaymates?
 
2013-02-13 12:34:39 PM
*sigh*
 
2013-02-13 12:59:58 PM
I believe dehumanizing the subject is one of the first rules of propaganda.
 
2013-02-13 01:03:40 PM
Paging Dr. Suess.
 
2013-02-13 01:41:55 PM
I dont think that they are trying to be dicks.

They are trying to be "politically correct" because they dont want to upset readers.

We havent had this kind of national discourse yet as we have been more worried about getting it legalized than going into absolute detail.
 
2013-02-13 01:58:47 PM
I can't stand people calling me and my husband 'partners' - I know they're trying to be polite but we don't own a damn law firm and if we did we'd live in a much nicer house and I'd be in shape from chasing ambulances.

What really pisses me off is when old crusty lesbians or old queen gay men refer to their 'partner' - eff that. If you want marriage equality but then don't want to use 'straight people terms' then screw you and shut up.

**off soapbox**
 
2013-02-13 01:59:48 PM
Let me get this straight. The Associated Press is attempting to ask people what they prefer to be called, so they are able to print things as accurately as possible. If they are unsure, they're to use the generic term "partner." If the couple uses the terms "husband" or "wife," then they're okay to print.

It sounds to me like they don't want to go printing things without verifying first. What's the problem?
 
2013-02-13 02:05:50 PM

Ennuipoet: Husband and Wife are antiquated terms, and should be discontinued, as are Mr. and Mrs.  Just use someone's name.  Example:  "John Smith, 87 of Farkistan is survived by his spouse, Joe/Jane Smith and their three children."

If you choose to refer to your same sex spouse as husband or wife, cool, but let's use a gender neutral description for public consumption.


I don't like it.
 
2013-02-13 02:08:41 PM
My sister-in-law is married to a woman. They are vehemently opposed to describing each other as "wives".
I do not think they are unique among lesbians in this.

Call people what they want to be called. It's not as hard as it sounds.
 
2013-02-13 02:16:39 PM

gopher321: Umm...how about 'spouse'?


that's what I was thinking....seems like a pretty neutral term.
 
2013-02-13 02:18:31 PM

slayer199: gopher321: Umm...how about 'spouse'?

that's what I was thinking....seems like a pretty neutral term.


I'm okay with that, too. I just wouldn't want to go firing off "husband" or "wife" unless I was sure that was the preferred nomenclature of the couple.
 
2013-02-13 02:42:09 PM
Can we just start wearing plain gray Snuggies and have everything taste like plain vanilla already? That way no one will ever be offended again
 
2013-02-13 02:42:32 PM

kid_icarus: I'm confused...I didn't read the AP memos to mean what the angry blogger seemed to think they meant...but I couldn't quite decide what they  actuallymeant.


AP generally doesn't know what they mean 80% of the time anyway.
 
2013-02-13 02:45:04 PM

ZAZ: I nominate "penis receptor" if the other spouse is male.


why would that not apply to a female too?
 
2013-02-13 02:45:12 PM
Who are these people? Are they fellow humans?
 
2013-02-13 02:46:18 PM

Onkel Buck: Can we just start wearing plain gray Snuggies and have everything taste like plain vanilla already? That way no one will ever be offended again


Hey, I like the color grey and the taste of vanilla. Are you suggesting my tastes are bland? I take offense to that!
 
2013-02-13 02:46:41 PM
Homosexual marriage is pursued as a means to an end. Homosexuals, by an exceedingly large margin, do not wish to get married or to form civil unions. Rather, they want to be accepted as normal. Their hope is that public approval of homosexuality will follow the legal establishment of homosexual marriages.
 
2013-02-13 02:47:42 PM
"Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?  Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by eactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. . . ."
 
2013-02-13 02:47:42 PM

GreenAdder: slayer199: gopher321: Umm...how about 'spouse'?

that's what I was thinking....seems like a pretty neutral term.

I'm okay with that, too. I just wouldn't want to go firing off "husband" or "wife" unless I was sure that was the preferred nomenclature of the couple.


Chinaman is still not okay though.
 
2013-02-13 02:49:00 PM
FTFA  Because AP doesn't think gay marriages are legit, and certainly not equal to straight marriages.

The news service every wingnut out there calls a liberal pawn somehow doesn't think gay marriages are legit?  That's a stretch.

/bitter gheys annoy me
//GLAAD annoys me more
 
2013-02-13 02:49:57 PM
Flora and Fauna?
 
2013-02-13 02:50:01 PM

letrole: Homosexual marriage is pursued as a means to an end. Homosexuals, by an exceedingly large margin, do not wish to get married or to form civil unions. Rather, they want to be accepted as normal. Their hope is that public approval of homosexuality will follow the legal establishment of homosexual marriages.


Aw!  I haven't seen a post from you in a while.  I so missed you!
 
2013-02-13 02:50:24 PM
Ennuipoet: " let's use a gender neutral description for public consumption. "

Why do you hate Jesus, America and the Free Market?
 
2013-02-13 02:51:48 PM

letrole: Homosexual marriage is pursued as a means to an end. Homosexuals, by an exceedingly large margin, do not wish to get married or to form civil unions. Rather, they want to be accepted as normal. Their hope is that public approval of homosexuality will follow the legal establishment of homosexual marriages.


Clever, monsieur Le Trôle. Somebody's gonna fall for this one.
 
2013-02-13 02:52:10 PM
How about Hump-buddies snd Love-lickers?
 
2013-02-13 02:53:36 PM

bryen: I can't stand people calling me and my husband 'partners' - I know they're trying to be polite but we don't own a damn law firm and if we did we'd live in a much nicer house and I'd be in shape from chasing ambulances.

What really pisses me off is when old crusty lesbians or old queen gay men refer to their 'partner' - eff that. If you want marriage equality but then don't want to use 'straight people terms' then screw you and shut up.

**off soapbox**


crimsonaudio.net

Face it, we're all different. I knew one guy that took on his wife's last name when he married. Everyone's different, and the AP is trying not to offend (and end up in court with lawsuits). Spouse is acceptable, or partner, for both hetero and homo couples. If it comes out that you call them something else, no one should pay any mind to it. It's not a ban when they'll post it right, after an interview.
 
2013-02-13 02:55:31 PM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Onkel Buck: Can we just start wearing plain gray Snuggies and have everything taste like plain vanilla already? That way no one will ever be offended again

Hey, I like the color grey and the taste of vanilla. Are you suggesting my tastes are bland? I take offense to that!



*facepalm* I should have known better, there is always some level of whiney biatch out there. Well played my friend, well played.

/If you're offended, that means you are right!
 
2013-02-13 02:56:19 PM
wifenoun 1. a married woman, especially when considered in relation to her partner in marriage.
 
2013-02-13 02:56:56 PM
Since tfa didn't mention what AP stands for until over 2/3 of the way through, I went ahead interpreted it as Ass Pirate until that point.
 
2013-02-13 02:57:04 PM
In Canada, most documents and stuff says "spouse". It works!

//I don't know what the French equivalent is, but I know it's a pain in the ass to get married as a heterosexual couple in Quebec, so who the hell knows what La Belle Province gets up to.
 
2013-02-13 02:57:14 PM

Ennuipoet: Husband and Wife are antiquated terms, and should be discontinued, as are Mr. and Mrs.  Just use someone's name.  Example:  "John Smith, 87 of Farkistan is survived by his spouse, Joe/Jane Smith and their three children."

If you choose to refer to your same sex spouse as husband or wife, cool, but let's use a gender neutral description for public consumption.


This.

I have a couple of gay and lesbian friends who feel the same way as you about gender depiction in print. I have one gay friend who reacts more like the article writer on things like this, but he struggled a lot more with coming out than my other friends. Not sure if that has anything to do with it though.
 
2013-02-13 02:57:35 PM

Ennuipoet: Husband and Wife are antiquated terms, and should be discontinued, as are Mr. and Mrs.


OK, it's thread jacking, ranting, bone picking time.
I got robbed.  I expected that I would grow up and people would call me "Mr. D" instead the neighborhood children call me Mike.  The best I've gotten is Mr. Mike.  I don't even call my boss by his last name.  This is crap.  Where's the respect? Where's the dignity? I can't be the one guy walking around calling everyone "Mister" I'll look like a psychopath or a sailer with PTSD.

"Mr. D" was not my father, my father delivered pizzas and smoked pot.  I want to be an ADULT.  I don't want to wear t-shirts and shorts and converse all stars.  I want to wear slacks and button up shirts and leather shoes that don't wear out in 6 months.

I file my phone bill.  I shop for insurance.  I have a mortgage.  I fret over my 401K.  What is so WRONG with that?  Why do people feel the need to dress like a Kevin Smith movie extra and insist I call them "Steve"?  Good God man, you're an attorney.  Put a tie on.  -And not the one with skulls and crossbones on it.

/get off my lawn
 
2013-02-13 02:59:23 PM
Spouse ought to do just fine. Unmarried but definitely connected straight couples seem to use "partner" or other options. When you quote, use the words used by the person quoted unless they are inherently offensive or rude.

Bureaucrats can say "equivalent to married partner" or "spouse".
 
2013-02-13 02:59:52 PM

ZAZ: I nominate "penis receptor" if the other spouse is male.


What if he's a bottom
 
2013-02-13 02:59:53 PM
My way's better. I never purposely try to offend anyone, but I also don't care if anyone gets offended because I haven't done the appropriate level of "research".
 
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