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(Rock 103)   Show that woman that's not your wife how much you care today. Feb. 13th is Mistress Day   (rock103.com) divider line 157
    More: Dumbass, Valentine's Day, private investigators  
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6943 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 2:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 02:30:05 PM

DaWormyPimpsta: [images.zap2it.com image 432x288]

/...may they never meet.
//hot, Hot, HOT!


You always pick the lesser of two weevils.
 
2013-02-13 02:32:02 PM
The 14th is wife's day.   The rest of the year is mistress day, rotating between them.

/gets tedious
 
2013-02-13 02:33:43 PM
I never met a normal girl who just absolutely loved giving head.  I know that's weird, but hear me out.  I'm relatively normal, I think... I like doing the face plant on a girl, personally.  But I've NEVER known of a girl who excitedly verbalized her enjoyment of it, or said "I'm REALLY good at it", or "I JUST LOVE doing it" that turned out to be normal.

I have NO scientific evidence to back this up or even explain it, its just personal experience.  Interestingly enough, having a wife who has friends with such nick-names as "triple digits" (This refers to how many dudes she's blown in a parking lot to get free drinks) I've found that the girls that "love it" or "do it for drinks" etc, either hold no value in the act, or feel some very bizarre sense of control over the man while doing it.  It seems not at all related to the actual fact that they are pleasuring the man.

YMMV
 
2013-02-13 02:33:59 PM

Evil Mackerel: Do hookers count?


I'm pretty sure most of them can count, considering the job requires that they handle money.
 
2013-02-13 02:34:56 PM

Lucidz: I'm an out of work mid thirties recovering alcoholic.

How you doing?

 
2013-02-13 02:35:26 PM

IamAwake: The One True TheDavid: Eventually I learned good blowjobs ain't worth that much pain & suffering. Really, it's better to pay cash.

which hey, if your reason for getting married was to get blowjobs, then sure.  Some of us consider women, and companionship in general, to be worth more than just life support systems for lips and vaginas.  Silly us.


Absolutely.  One mustn't forget the sandwich making and diaper changing skills they bring to the table.
 
2013-02-13 02:35:47 PM
Wow, I couldn't imagine why he left.
 
2013-02-13 02:36:09 PM

GalFriday: Lucidz: I'm an out of work mid thirties recovering alcoholic.

How you doing?


Tired and bored and deciding which comic books to sell to make the next payment on my Porsche.
 
2013-02-13 02:38:36 PM

The One True TheDavid: You know how some crazy people bring out the psycho in others? Uh-huh.


Truer words have never been spoken.

Of course, I would never condone acting upon it. Other people can cause you feel a certain way to a point, but your actions are 100% your own.

It's best just to bail at the time when you realize you're being driven up a wall and it will never get any better.
 
2013-02-13 02:38:47 PM

kimwim: IgG4: kimwim: My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.

Are they happy?

They are not happy. It's glorious. As my mother used to say, revenge is a dish best eaten cold.


It's sad though that you are still dwelling on it.
 
2013-02-13 02:41:54 PM

kimwim: IgG4: kimwim: My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.

Are they happy?

They are not happy. It's glorious. As my mother used to say, revenge is a dish best eaten  served cold.


Subtle but important difference.
 
2013-02-13 02:42:19 PM

ha-ha-guy: Or you can be an auto engineer and have your wife complain how you are out in the garage with your "other women".


That's how my g/f refers to my motorcycle.
 
2013-02-13 02:44:45 PM

Knucklepopper: It's sad though that you are still dwelling on it.


People get over things at their own speed. Sometimes, that speed is "never". Having been in a shiatfest of a relationship not all that long ago, I could see where one could develop a sense of Schadenfreude. Although, in my case, all contact was cut off and I don't poke around to find out what's happening with her life. I'd much rather feel neutral than hate.
 
2013-02-13 02:45:11 PM

ha-ha-guy: geekbikerskum: "Well," said the computer programmer, "Ideally, you should have both a wife, *and* a mistress.  And they should know about each other.  That way, you can tell your wife you're with your mistress, and you can tell your mistress you're with your wife, and meanwhile, you can go in to the office and get some code written."

/I swear that's why half the geeks I know are poly

Or you can be an auto engineer and have your wife complain how you are out in the garage with your "other women".

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
 
2013-02-13 02:45:14 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Lucidz: I'm an out of work mid thirties recovering alcoholic. I can barely hold on to a wife, let alone get a mistress.

I think I found your problem.


Wow... way to contribute.
 
2013-02-13 02:45:38 PM

Good Behavior Day: I've always wanted two women.  One to cook and one to clean.

/ba-dum-tish


Well that, and also if there's any conversation, you don't have to be part of it!
 
2013-02-13 02:48:45 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: The One True TheDavid: This Feb. 16th will be the 30 anniversary of my ex-wife's desertion. At the time I was bummed out, but after a year I realized she did me a favor: the next one after her was 6 years younger, i.e. 18.

Eventually I learned good blowjobs ain't worth that much pain & suffering. Really, it's better to pay cash.

I'm not sure that counting the years and using words like "desertion" are signs that you've accepted what happened.


"Desertion" was the legal term: what she said was her car broke down at her mother's.

Where did I say I wasn't bitter? I've heard heterosexuality is good for child support and bitterness: I got off easy without the first part.


Also see: remembering head from 30 years ago.

What's wrong with that? Of the roughly 4 dozen partners I had over the decades (some several times and/or some for cash) there were 5 who gave great head. Two were 16 y.o. girls (when I was 14), one was a 15 year old boy (like me then), Becky Lynn was 23 when I was 19, and O.F. was 24 when I was 33. The rest were kind of meh; gentle pointers or even demonstrating on a banana or another guy didn't help much.

Really, it's not enough to do it without needing to be begged and/or paid: I don't care if you sucked off 20 guys that week, that's no sign of quality. Maybe get a gay buddy to train you, mkay?
 
2013-02-13 02:51:17 PM

The One True TheDavid: DROxINxTHExWIND:

Really, it's not enough to do it without needing to be begged and/or paid: I don't care if you sucked off 20 guys that week, that's no sign of quality. Maybe get a gay buddy to train you, mkay?


By the way, I was not directing that to DROxINxTHExWIND.
 
2013-02-13 02:53:41 PM

Knucklepopper: kimwim: IgG4: kimwim:

My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.

Are they happy?

They are not happy. It's glorious. As my mother used to say, revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

It's sad though that you are still dwelling on it.


I think it's her best trait. That I've seen here anyway: it humanizes her a little, y'know.
 
2013-02-13 02:54:19 PM
Remember - It takes two to cheat:

One to cheat
One to nag incessantly driving your partner into the arms of another woman
 
2013-02-13 02:55:43 PM

kimwim: My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.


Which one of you is hotter?
 
2013-02-13 02:59:08 PM

WhippingBoy: Remember - It takes two to cheat:

One to cheat
One to nag incessantly driving your partner into the arms of another woman


Blaming the victim is what weak people do. Take some personal responsibility once in a while, y'know?
 
2013-02-13 02:59:32 PM

Knucklepopper: kimwim: IgG4: kimwim: My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.

Are they happy?

They are not happy. It's glorious. As my mother used to say, revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

It's sad though that you are still dwelling on it.


It's sad what my kids had to go through.
I'm very happily remarried.
 
2013-02-13 03:00:57 PM

KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Remember - It takes two to cheat:

One to cheat
One to nag incessantly driving your partner into the arms of another woman

Blaming the victim is what weak people do. Take some personal responsibility once in a while, y'know?


Quit nagging me!!!
 
2013-02-13 03:05:47 PM

KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Remember - It takes two to cheat:

One to cheat
One to nag incessantly driving your partner into the arms of another woman

Blaming the victim is what weak people do. Take some personal responsibility once in a while, y'know?


Your profile says BIE.
 
2013-02-13 03:05:52 PM

kimwim: IgG4: kimwim: My ex did that. Bought her the same heart shaped box of chocolates he got me. That's how I found out. She had to show me. They're married now. Ask me if they're happy.

Are they happy?

They are not happy. It's glorious. As my mother used to say, revenge is a dish best eaten cold.


I'm sure the idea of him being miserable gives you a little smile now and then, but you need to get over it. Maybe your only talking about it because of the subject of the thread, but I kinda doubt it.

The thing is, he's not going to be miserable forever. He's already proven that he will leave a woman (you), so he'll eventually leave her. As life goes on, his romantic prospects will grow, as most men's does, and he'll find someone nicer and younger, who is willing to forgive his past sins and live a fulfilling life with him. Maybe she'll be Asian and play a ton of tennis, you know, real fit and tons of stamina, but still super feminine, with her jet black hair in a pony tail bouncing playfully on her tan, fit upper back. He will feel terrible for what he did to you, ask your forgiveness and forgive himself. Then he will continue on with his young, energetic little Korean (maybe like 1/2 Korean, 1/2 Japanese, or OH! 1/2 black 1/2 Japanese, so she's got that gorgeous skin tone) spitfire, and all you will have is your bitterness.

My point being, living well and being happy is the only true way to get revenge. I hope that helps.
 
2013-02-13 03:08:09 PM

WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!


Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.


What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?
 
2013-02-13 03:10:05 PM

Magnanimous_J: Maybe she'll be Asian and play a ton of tennis, you know, real fit and tons of stamina, but still super feminine, with her jet black hair in a pony tail bouncing playfully on her tan, fit upper back. He will feel terrible for what he did to you, ask your forgiveness and forgive himself. Then he will continue on with his young, energetic little Korean (maybe like 1/2 Korean, 1/2 Japanese, or OH! 1/2 black 1/2 Japanese, so she's got that gorgeous skin tone) spitfire,


This is funny, you're projecting. No, the reason I'm talking about it is because of the topic of the thread. I have moved on, my kids are grown, son one getting married in May. Ex won't leave her, it was too easy for him to have the affair, like I said before she worked on the farm with us, (I was the idiot that told him to double her pay when we bought the place, I didn't think she was paid enough), and it would take too much time and effort for him to find another young thing). I am living well, and happily. My sons tell me they are unhappy, that they fight all the time. He wasn't a bad husband, just dumb.
I hope my sons have learned from my marriage, not his.
 
2013-02-13 03:10:48 PM

kimwim: It's sad what my kids had to go through.
I'm very happily remarried.


As far as you know.
 
2013-02-13 03:15:54 PM

KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?


I thought you were offering.
 
2013-02-13 03:17:24 PM

Girion47: I thought you were offering.


Ohhhhhh. Oh.

Well, let me dress up as Buffalo Bill first.
 
2013-02-13 03:17:48 PM
Has anyone here actually had a mistress (or been a mistress if you're a farkette)? I question whether most farkers can get one lady, let alone 2. Still I'm nosy and want to hear how it turned out
 
2013-02-13 03:17:59 PM

Two16: DROxINxTHExWIND: Lucidz: I'm an out of work mid thirties recovering alcoholic. I can barely hold on to a wife, let alone get a mistress.

I think I found your problem.

Wow... way to contribute.


It's all good.  I have no problem poking fun at myself.  I wouldn't open myself up about things if I was going to get butt hurt about it.
 
2013-02-13 03:18:30 PM

Girion47: KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?

I thought you were offering.


you sound like you're going to have a sad Valentine's Day
 
2013-02-13 03:18:38 PM

KiwDaWabbit: Girion47: I thought you were offering.

Ohhhhhh. Oh.

Well, let me dress up as Buffalo Bill first.


damn lack of gender indicators on Fark.
 
2013-02-13 03:20:06 PM

ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?

I thought you were offering.

you sound like you're going to have a sad Valentine's Day


Oh I will, I'll be at a U of L game thinking about how UK is going to do terrible in the tournament because of Nerlins getting injured last night.  Damn U of L fans are so happy to gloat over UK's misfortune.
 
2013-02-13 03:20:20 PM
I'm nailing my best friends' girlfriend.

She's getting nothing.

/he hates my guts now actually
//they still live together so I don't get to see her on Vday anyway
 
2013-02-13 03:20:44 PM
this could be applied to any relationship when it's not working out:

"Shoot, shoot, this thang is killin' me." Jerry hollered back, "I'm afraid to shoot, I might hit you". Marcel hollered back down, "Just shoot up here amongst us, one of us has got to have some relief."
 
2013-02-13 03:24:12 PM
this just popped in my head, but secretaries get two days of appreciation?
 
2013-02-13 03:24:14 PM

Girion47: ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?

I thought you were offering.

you sound like you're going to have a sad Valentine's Day

Oh I will, I'll be at a U of L game thinking about how UK is going to do terrible in the tournament because of Nerlins getting injured last night.  Damn U of L fans are so happy to gloat over UK's misfortune.


As a University of Tennessee fan, I would never gloat over another SEC schools misfortune

/sarcasm
 
2013-02-13 03:25:29 PM

Girion47: damn lack of gender indicators on Fark.


Yeah. Well, I thought the absence of a counter and a link to an Amazon wish list gave that away.
 
2013-02-13 03:26:22 PM

ModernPrimitive01: Has anyone here actually had a mistress (or been a mistress if you're a farkette)? I question whether most farkers can get one lady, let alone 2. Still I'm nosy and want to hear how it turned out


I've had offers.  I've always declined because I suck at lying and frankly if I didn't want to be with the person I am with, I would stop being with them.  My favorite offer was from a buddy in college, who had told me a month earlier never to hurt my then girlfriend, that another girl was interested and that I should hit that.  What's really sad about it is I was too naive to realize just how many girls were interested.
 
2013-02-13 03:26:35 PM

ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?

I thought you were offering.

you sound like you're going to have a sad Valentine's Day

Oh I will, I'll be at a U of L game thinking about how UK is going to do terrible in the tournament because of Nerlins getting injured last night.  Damn U of L fans are so happy to gloat over UK's misfortune.

As a University of Tennessee fan, I would never gloat over another SEC schools misfortune

/sarcasm


What?  No SEC loyalty?  I cheer for the SEC teams outside of UK games, especially against ACC opponents.
 
2013-02-13 03:29:51 PM
No subby, that would be the other 364 Days..
 
2013-02-13 03:30:08 PM
This is the third anniversary of my separating from my (now) ex-wife, so I'm really getting a kick out of all this.  No mistress involved, though...
 
2013-02-13 03:30:32 PM

Girion47: ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: ModernPrimitive01: Girion47: KiwDaWabbit: WhippingBoy: Quit nagging me!!!

Touché.

Girion47: Your profile says BIE.

What's your point?

Are you offering or just being observant?

I thought you were offering.

you sound like you're going to have a sad Valentine's Day

Oh I will, I'll be at a U of L game thinking about how UK is going to do terrible in the tournament because of Nerlins getting injured last night.  Damn U of L fans are so happy to gloat over UK's misfortune.

As a University of Tennessee fan, I would never gloat over another SEC schools misfortune

/sarcasm

What?  No SEC loyalty?  I cheer for the SEC teams outside of UK games, especially against ACC opponents.


naaa, I have my favorites but UK Basketball definitely isn't one of them. I do feel bad for you guys in football though, there seems to be no student support. Your stadium always looks empty. I mean the Vols have been god awful for the last 5 years but we somehow still manage 80k a game
 
2013-02-13 03:30:59 PM

KiwDaWabbit: Girion47: damn lack of gender indicators on Fark.

Yeah. Well, I thought the absence of a counter and a link to an Amazon wish list gave that away.


jokemail.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-13 03:32:35 PM

The One True TheDavid: The One True TheDavid: DROxINxTHExWIND:

Really, it's not enough to do it without needing to be begged and/or paid: I don't care if you sucked off 20 guys that week, that's no sign of quality. Maybe get a gay buddy to train you, mkay?

By the way, I was not directing that to DROxINxTHExWIND.


Naw, you should have been. I kind of snarked about remembering good head and pressed send before I realized how stupid it was. OF COURSE you remember the good ones.
 
2013-02-13 03:36:03 PM

Lipspinach: I'm nailing my best friends' girlfriend.

She's getting nothing.

/he hates my guts now actually
//they still live together so I don't get to see her on Vday anyway


Thats a serious violation.
 
2013-02-13 03:42:26 PM

KiwDaWabbit: Girion47: damn lack of gender indicators on Fark.

Yeah. Well, I thought the absence of a counter and a link to an Amazon wish list gave that away.


Comment of the decade.
 
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