If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ABC 27)   In today's dealing of scientists with nothing better to do, research shows guppies hang with their ugly friends to make themselves look better when finding a mate   (abc27.com) divider line 35
    More: Interesting, University of Western Australia, wood stove, WHTM, social context  
•       •       •

1682 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 12:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-13 12:23:56 PM  
This is, in fact, how female human beings of a certain, shall we say,  girth, ensure their own survival. Much like a crocodile will tolerate in its mouth the presence of small birds because those birds actually consume the parasites that infest the crocodile's teeth-- birds who, in reality, should be little more than tasty little snack morsels for that crocodile -- women of a certain girth will actively seek to attach themselves to thinner, more sexually attractive women (by this, of course, I mean more sexually attractive to men...only men care about such shallow concerns as a woman's girth. Pigs, the lot of them.). Normally, these thinner women would be the natural enemy of their girthier counterparts and would choose to address them, if at all, with only derision and scorn. In this specific case, though, when paired together in natural gathering spots such as bars or clubs, the thin beauty's natural, conditioned response to her uglier counterpart is forestalled by a much more compelling need, a desire to enter into what is essentially a symbiotic relationship that, like any symbiosis, benefits both partners. The thin woman, in the eyes of the drooling, pig-brained he-beasts slavering for her attention, is elevated even further in status than otherwise might be the case because of her proximity (and favorable comparison) to the Jovian moon in her orbit. The girthy woman, on the other hand, is granted a certain  cachet because of her proximity to such beauty. Over the course of an evening, the males who are seeking an audience with their primary objective, the thin woman, must first negotiate with (and around) her leviathan shadow. It becomes a test, in fact, a challenge to her prospective mates: "To woo me, you must first prove that you can interest my friend." And the challenge, of course, comes with an implicit threat: "If you succeed in getting past her and then fail to interest me, I shall toss you back to her as a scrap. And she will eat you. I mean, look at her." Eventually, toward the end of the evening, one alpha male will successfully attain his target. But her partner will have feasted very well in the meantime, and so spins on the world.
 
2013-02-13 12:45:45 PM  
Pocket Ninja, does this come off the top of your head, or is your computer filled with folders and sub folders of categorized anecdotes?
Amazed at your response time, quicker than the LAPD rushing to a BBQ on the mountain.
 
2013-02-13 12:46:20 PM  

Pocket Ninja: This is, in fact, how female human beings of a certain, shall we say,  girth, ensure their own survival. Much like a crocodile will tolerate in its mouth the presence of small birds because those birds actually consume the parasites that infest the crocodile's teeth-- birds who, in reality, should be little more than tasty little snack morsels for that crocodile -- women of a certain girth will actively seek to attach themselves to thinner, more sexually attractive women (by this, of course, I mean more sexually attractive to men...only men care about such shallow concerns as a woman's girth. Pigs, the lot of them.). Normally, these thinner women would be the natural enemy of their girthier counterparts and would choose to address them, if at all, with only derision and scorn. In this specific case, though, when paired together in natural gathering spots such as bars or clubs, the thin beauty's natural, conditioned response to her uglier counterpart is forestalled by a much more compelling need, a desire to enter into what is essentially a symbiotic relationship that, like any symbiosis, benefits both partners. The thin woman, in the eyes of the drooling, pig-brained he-beasts slavering for her attention, is elevated even further in status than otherwise might be the case because of her proximity (and favorable comparison) to the Jovian moon in her orbit. The girthy woman, on the other hand, is granted a certain  cachet because of her proximity to such beauty. Over the course of an evening, the males who are seeking an audience with their primary objective, the thin woman, must first negotiate with (and around) her leviathan shadow. It becomes a test, in fact, a challenge to her prospective mates: "To woo me, you must first prove that you can interest my friend." And the challenge, of course, comes with an implicit threat: "If you succeed in getting past her and then fail to interest me, I shall toss you back to her as a scrap. And she will eat you. I mean, look at ...



i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-13 12:48:31 PM  
Ladies:

media.fakeposters.com
 
2013-02-13 12:49:01 PM  
If you want to look like a winner, surround yourself with losers - jack Freeman
 
2013-02-13 12:50:53 PM  
I was going to complain about the lack of the OBVIOUS tag, and then talk about chicks with their fat friends, but I got lost reading PocketNinja's post and had to go get a Girl Scout cookie.
 
2013-02-13 12:51:47 PM  

nmemkha: Ladies:

[media.fakeposters.com image 600x480]


www.facebeautiful.net
 
2013-02-13 12:52:28 PM  
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
 
2013-02-13 12:52:37 PM  
Remember this single and/or promiscuous farkers, remember that if you are out with your friends and you haven't identified the ugly pity farker among your group...you are the ugly pity farker.
 
2013-02-13 12:53:22 PM  
This is the exact reason I hang out on Fark all day.  Some day I'll actually meet a girl who reads fark, and I'll look like Brad Pitt in her eyes compared to all of you losers.
 
2013-02-13 12:55:48 PM  
This was greenlighted for the sole reason of PN's posting, and ample reason it is.
 
2013-02-13 12:56:47 PM  
I don't know if we need this term 'guppies.'  Most yuppies seem versatile in this regard.
 
2013-02-13 12:57:19 PM  

uncleacid: Never make a pretty woman your wife.


Done.

Now what...
 
2013-02-13 12:57:50 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Remember this single and/or promiscuous farkers, remember that if you are out with your friends and you haven't identified the ugly pity farker among your group...you are the ugly pity farker.


Damn it...

brucemctague.com
 
2013-02-13 12:58:42 PM  

nmemkha: Ladies:

[media.fakeposters.com image 600x480]


No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no nono no no that can't be true, that can't be a real person no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no nono no no no no no
 
2013-02-13 12:59:52 PM  
So, guppies are just like humans.

Not surprised.
 
2013-02-13 01:00:17 PM  
cs303606.userapi.com
 
2013-02-13 01:04:34 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-13 01:04:57 PM  

Sasquach: uncleacid: Never make a pretty woman your wife.

Done.

Now what...



I'll have to go look at the rest of the lyrics.
 
2013-02-13 01:05:34 PM  

FarkingReading: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x228]


neatnik2009.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-13 01:10:35 PM  
i195.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 01:10:53 PM  
Did anyone notice the girl that Taylor Swift went to the Grammys with?

Yep, that was the point. Taylor is smart enough not to bring someone who would compete with her for the spotlight.
 
2013-02-13 01:10:56 PM  
So do 7s.

I know, I dated one.
 
2013-02-13 01:12:16 PM  

uncleacid: Sasquach: uncleacid: Never make a pretty woman your wife.

Done.

Now what...


I'll have to go look at the rest of the lyrics.


be happy for the rest of your life?
 
2013-02-13 01:14:20 PM  
And remember, if you don't have an ugly friend, you are the ugly friend.
 
2013-02-13 01:19:30 PM  
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes down to the bone.
 
2013-02-13 01:22:31 PM  

blatz514: [i195.photobucket.com image 550x425]


As a guy, bringing an extremely hot female friend as a wingman is amazing.  Your attractiveness rating shoots through the roof cause other girls see you near and talking to a hottie.  Just don't be awkward with the "informing the girl-you're-hitting-on that the hottie you arrived with isn't your gf" delivery.
 
2013-02-13 01:27:56 PM  
Attention Farkettes, now available to stand next to you: NSFW
 
2013-02-13 01:31:40 PM  
Question:

What scientists had time/funding to define what makes a guppy ugly?
 
2013-02-13 03:19:14 PM  
They also eat their own young.
 
2013-02-13 04:51:41 PM  
Saw this in the "Men" column in Playboy.  Some time in the 80's.

/It's not news.. It's Fark.
 
2013-02-13 05:05:41 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

/oblig.
 
2013-02-13 05:44:24 PM  

uncleacid: Never make a pretty woman your wife.


Hey, I only married the ones that said yes so that wasn't an issue.
 
2013-02-13 07:35:42 PM  
i195.photobucket.com

Why is it that this reminds me of some Japanese cartoon where the three little ones join together to become one big one?
 
2013-02-13 09:06:43 PM  

blatz514: [i195.photobucket.com image 550x425]


www.hwdyk.com
 
Displayed 35 of 35 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report