Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Buzzfeed)   "Helicopter parents depress kids." Why are you sad, Johnny? WHO DID THIS TO YOU? WHERE'S YOUR TEACHER, THAT BIATCH   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, helicopter parents, liberal arts colleges, family studies, University of Mary Washington  
•       •       •

7863 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:43 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



127 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-02-13 09:05:52 AM  
In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.
 
2013-02-13 09:16:58 AM  
A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.
 
2013-02-13 09:23:26 AM  

Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.


Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?
 
2013-02-13 09:25:20 AM  

somedude210: Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.

Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?


No, I relate the helicopter parenting to more acting out than anything else. My parents were pretty lenient with me and I'm solidly the 'do nothing' variety.
 
2013-02-13 09:28:59 AM  

Tremolo: No, I relate the helicopter parenting to more acting out than anything else. My parents were pretty lenient with me and I'm solidly the 'do nothing' variety.


Mine were too but I still have some work ethic. (note, I am on fark at work, but still). I think I meant more about the "Girls" like people who went to college for art history or something stupid like that and are all pissy that they can't find a job that pays more than minimum wage
 
2013-02-13 09:39:24 AM  

Tremolo: combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother


Wow.  Toxic.

I knew one in HS.  But she wasn't all that - OK looking and a poor actress and vocalist.  Her career went nowhere, fast.  I wonder how her mother coped with that.

In my junior year in college my old HS girlfriend and I met up on a weekend home and went to one of the football games.  Helimom was all over the place bragging about how Kim was Baywatch.  Turns out she was an untitled 'girl in background on beach.'  The way the mother was carrying on you'd think was Yasmine Bleeth.  It was more embarrassing than if she'd said nothing.  But having acted in HS with her little snowflake, I knew restraint was not one of her strong suits.
 
2013-02-13 09:50:15 AM  
It's all of those phthalates leaching out from the bubble wrap.

/turns em into nancy boys
 
2013-02-13 10:13:23 AM  

Tremolo: After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late.


Was it this chick?
She was all over the news for a day or two.
 
2013-02-13 11:02:21 AM  
Do they mean a more serious depression than "Mooooooom! You're embarrassing me!"
 
2013-02-13 11:33:40 AM  
This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.
 
2013-02-13 11:40:27 AM  

damageddude: This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.


Nice.  As opposed to the opposite NSCSB: My friend's kid is in a school that has this portal thing (whatever the fark it's called).  Her mother (whose name is usually led into by us with any number of epithets) freaked out on her one day because it didn't show that her homework was turned in.  Turns out, the teacher just forgot to update the portal that day.

\swear to god, that woman's got something wrong with her
\\less so than my friend for marrying her, but c'est la vie
 
2013-02-13 11:49:53 AM  

miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.


Go on...
 
2013-02-13 11:51:56 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: Tremolo: After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late.

Was it this chick?
She was all over the news for a day or two.


That's her. I kept expecting to see e story on Fark but never did. I was in the theatre dept when she was in high school so I saw a decent amount of their crazy behavior. It sucks that she had to do that but I have no doubt that it was her only option to have a normal life.
 
2013-02-13 11:52:18 AM  
I dislike blaming the kids for this. It's not their fault they have cretinous farking parents.
 
2013-02-13 11:52:49 AM  
I will provide the legally required amount of care for my child, until their 18th birthday. Then, it's the catapult.
 
2013-02-13 11:57:45 AM  

miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.


I was friends with a girl in high school whose mother was like that. The woman was completely insane and followed her daughter everywhere. This was also before cell phones so she would drive by her friends houses if she was out for say a sleep over, or we'd see her drive slowly the movie theater if we were at the movies. Put the girl on oodles of medications even though the girl did not need to be on any sort of medications.

The girl decided she had had enough of the over-baring mother so she ran away with her boyfriend (these were all really good kids, made good grades, kinda nerdy...) Woman calls up my parents insisting that her daughter ran away because I was such a bad influence on her kid. Asks my mom to speak to me and when my mom said I wasn't home completely went off the rails screaming and cussing at my mother, ect ect ect. She ends up coming to my parents house banging on the door, still screaming, blaming me (who knows why) for her daughter running away. Long story shorter, cops were called, woman's husband was called and she ended up in the mental hospital for about a year.

Daughter was at the boyfriends house with his parents, they were protecting the girl from the mom. When mom went away she moved back in with her dad and he got a divorce and a restraining order.
 
2013-02-13 11:58:44 AM  
So... don't talk to your parents about things.  It's not complicated.

My mother started doing that kind of crap to me in middle school, showing up to mess with my teachers every time I was upset about something and so on.  Nothing dire, just the usual well-intentioned meddling.  Result: did not talk to my mother about school for roughly 10 years, until she was far enough away and I was old enough she couldn't reasonably mess with my shiat.  Didn't even differentiate between detention and club activities when telling her I'd be home late from school.  When asked about school directly, responded by talking about the content of the lesson plan (my parents are pretty well-educated so it was a good distraction).  Didn't have to be rude (I mean, I was, obviously, once I got to be a teenager, but still), just learned what set her off and didn't give it to her.  Talked to my father when I was upset instead, who helpfully gave less than zero farks and knew I was just venting (probably because I learned it from mom, and she did it to him about... well, me).

Albeit, having been on the teacher end of it, I've got the usual horror stories about parents being a little too interested in seeing their kid do well, and the ones that were well-meaning but didn't entirely understand school since they didn't finish it themselves, and so on.  I have to say that the ones I hated the most were the ones that didn't seem to care at all, honestly.  Because it's farking surreal to care about someone's child more than they do.  That didn't mean the other types weren't annoying as hell, though.

//I only teach undergrads now, because students are great but parents drive me  farking nuts.
 
2013-02-13 11:59:04 AM  

grinding_journalist: I will provide the legally required amount of care for my child, until their 18th birthday. Then, it's the catapult.


we prefer the term trebuchet .
 
2013-02-13 11:59:18 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

I was friends with a girl in high school whose mother was like that. The woman was completely insane and followed her daughter everywhere. This was also before cell phones so she would drive by her friends houses if she was out for say a sleep over, or we'd see her drive slowly the movie theater if we were at the movies. Put the girl on oodles of medications even though the girl did not need to be on any sort of medications.

The girl decided she had had enough of the over-baring mother so she ran away with her boyfriend (these were all really good kids, made good grades, kinda nerdy...) Woman calls up my parents insisting that her daughter ran away because I was such a bad influence on her kid. Asks my mom to speak to me and when my mom said I wasn't home completely went off the rails screaming and cussing at my mother, ect ect ect. She ends up coming to my parents house banging on the door, still screaming, blaming me (who knows why) for her daughter running away. Long story shorter, cops were called, woman's husband was called and she ended up in the mental hospital for about a year.

Daughter was at the boyfriends house with his parents, they were protecting the girl from the mom. When mom went away she moved back in with her dad and he got a divorce and a restraining order.


I hope she's doing well; few stories have happy endings.

/Nice to see she had people in her life willing to step in
 
2013-02-13 11:59:19 AM  

Tremolo: Rev. Skarekroe: Tremolo: After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late.

Was it this chick?
She was all over the news for a day or two.

That's her. I kept expecting to see e story on Fark but never did. I was in the theatre dept when she was in high school so I saw a decent amount of their crazy behavior. It sucks that she had to do that but I have no doubt that it was her only option to have a normal life.


I never had to get the restraining order, but I came close.  My mother has severe borderline personality disorder.  I had to completely cut her out of my life to avoid turning into Principal Skinner.
 
2013-02-13 11:59:31 AM  
What someone depressed by a helicopter may look like:
img0030.popscreencdn.com
 
2013-02-13 12:00:20 PM  

miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.


Please tell me you told the mom to fark off and gave the roommate extra garbage duty.
 
2013-02-13 12:00:36 PM  
 
2013-02-13 12:01:08 PM  
FTA: They asked the students how much they agreed with statements like "If I am having an issue with my roommate, my mother would try to intervene" and "If I were to receive a low grade that I felt was unfair, my mother would call the professor."

If I were to have received a low grade that I felt was unfair, my mom would have shrugged her shoulders and my dad would have told me to cut my hair and get a job and quit wasting his hard-earned money on tuition.
 
2013-02-13 12:02:42 PM  

somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?


Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.
 
2013-02-13 12:04:26 PM  

grinding_journalist: I will provide the legally required amount of care for my child, until their 18th birthday. Then, it's the catapult.


This works. Well, it worked in our case. All four of us turned out to be independent, responsible, and successful adults.

I was the last one, finishing up my senior thesis during break and my Mom walked into my room and said, "You have until July 15th. Find another place to live before then." I run into guys who are still being coddled by their parents. There is just so much in life they don't get. It is hard to describe.
 
2013-02-13 12:05:26 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.


I should add, I noticed a lot more "parental involvement" in general at the same time.  (Some can be good, to be clear; I mean the toxic kind.)
 
2013-02-13 12:07:08 PM  

born_yesterday: I hope she's doing well; few stories have happy endings.

/Nice to see she had people in her life willing to step in


I hope so too. Lost contact with her after high school... But after the mom went away you could visibly see the weight lifted off her shoulders, she just looked... lighter, freer. I was just thrilled that the dad finally stepped up, he always seemed to be your average door-mat, 'yes ma'am' type.
 
2013-02-13 12:07:52 PM  
At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?
The parents aren't really helping their child, life will kick you in the nuts every now and again. The child needs to realize this, take the hit and move on. The kid learns nothing of life if mom and dad are there to absorb the hits for them.
 
2013-02-13 12:08:04 PM  

miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.


Why wait until college?  I sent out invitations for my son's 8th birthday party a few months ago.  One of the moms emailed me back and suggested I have the party somewhere besides the laser tag sports arena my son chose.  She didn't want her son playing "war games" and "learning to kill other boys with guns".  I tried to be cool and said it was already in stone, so too bad.  She started sending me emails with alternative places I could hold the party.  The last straw came when she hit "reply to all" with my original invite and asked the other parents if they would be happy with her choice (a place called Bounce-U) over my choice.  Her email went on to say "Dave (that's me) is a member of the PTO and should be setting a better example for our young children to follow...".  I returned the favor and hit reply to all with this "Fark you, Michelle.  The party is at Sports Fusion.  Everyone but your little snowflake is invited."  Aside from Michelle, I had 100% attendance.  They're still buzzing over that one.
 
2013-02-13 12:11:19 PM  
You ALL RIGHT!

I learned by watching you.
 
2013-02-13 12:12:56 PM  

Too Pretty For Prison: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

Why wait until college?  I sent out invitations for my son's 8th birthday party a few months ago.  One of the moms emailed me back and suggested I have the party somewhere besides the laser tag sports arena my son chose.  She didn't want her son playing "war games" and "learning to kill other boys with guns".  I tried to be cool and said it was already in stone, so too bad.  She started sending me emails with alternative places I could hold the party.  The last straw came when she hit "reply to all" with my original invite and asked the other parents if they would be happy with her choice (a place called Bounce-U) over my choice.  Her email went on to say "Dave (that's me) is a member of the PTO and should be setting a better example for our young children to follow...".  I returned the favor and hit reply to all with this "Fark you, Michelle.  The party is at Sports Fusion.  Everyone but your little snowflake is invited."  Aside from Michelle, I had 100% attendance.  They're still buzzing over that one.


Really?  REALLY?  OMFSM the emailing the other attendees is what made my brain explode.  If any of my kids friend's parents did that I'd lose my freakin mind.  That's insane
 
2013-02-13 12:13:05 PM  
BuzzFeed? Nope. Sorry, but the sponsored links are gay enough, so I'm not going to even go to BF anymore.
 
2013-02-13 12:13:35 PM  

cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?


It's not hard to find stories of employers talking about getting calls from parents of job candidates or rejected candidates. Needless to say, if it's a pre-decision, it usually doesn't impress the employer.
 
2013-02-13 12:13:48 PM  

damageddude: This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.


At the risk of defending a teacher "they" are taking the most expedient means of covering their asses - on any given year they have had to deal with at least one parent screaming at them in a meeting because little Johnny is failing and "THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE HEARD OF THIS!!!!! - YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB AND I WANT HIM PASSING RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Despite weekly messages sent home (Johnny "lost" them), unreturned phone calls and the high probability of various missed "intervention meetings".

The computerized grade notifications are a dream fulfilled for teachers - you have an account,  you have been notified of your responsibilities - if you can't even be bothered to spend 20 seconds a week to log on and check the grades you can kindly STFU when you find out your snowflake is flunking for the first time during the third quarter.
 
2013-02-13 12:14:06 PM  

Too Pretty For Prison: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

Why wait until college?  I sent out invitations for my son's 8th birthday party a few months ago.  One of the moms emailed me back and suggested I have the party somewhere besides the laser tag sports arena my son chose.  She didn't want her son playing "war games" and "learning to kill other boys with guns".  I tried to be cool and said it was already in stone, so too bad.  She started sending me emails with alternative places I could hold the party.  The last straw came when she hit "reply to all" with my original invite and asked the other parents if they would be happy with her choice (a place called Bounce-U) over my choice.  Her email went on to say "Dave (that's me) is a member of the PTO and should be setting a better example for our young children to follow...".  I returned the favor and hit reply to all with this "Fark you, Michelle.  The party is at Sports Fusion.  Everyone but your little snowflake is invited."  Aside from Michelle, I had 100% attendance.  They're still buzzing over that one.


"Hear hear!" Nice.
 
2013-02-13 12:15:41 PM  

Fizpez: damageddude: This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.

At the risk of defending a teacher "they" are taking the most expedient means of covering their asses - on any given year they have had to deal with at least one parent screaming at them in a meeting because little Johnny is failing and "THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE HEARD OF THIS!!!!! - YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB AND I WANT HIM PASSING RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Despite weekly messages sent home (Johnny "lost" them), unreturned phone calls and the high probability of various missed "intervention meetings".

The computerized grade notifications are a dream fulfilled for teachers - you have an account,  you have been notified of your responsibilities - if you can't even be bothered to spend 20 seconds a week to log on and check the grades you can kindly STFU when you find out your snowflake is flunking for the first time during the third quarter.


/PS that wasnt directed at you - just explaining why they want to make sure they can at least say "Well, we tried..."
 
2013-02-13 12:16:03 PM  

olapbill: we prefer the term trebuchet .


While it's an easy mistake to make, trebuchets and catapults are different things. If you're using it as a verb, trebuchets catapult objects, but as a noun, they're different.
 
2013-02-13 12:18:37 PM  
." Why are you sad, Johnny? WHO DID THIS TO YOU? WHERE'S YOUR TEACHER, THAT BIATCH


LOL.

/+1
 
2013-02-13 12:19:24 PM  
Obvious tags mom says its to cold to come out to play.
 
2013-02-13 12:21:12 PM  

Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.


I know how this ended. Once she got away the stage mom focused on your friends sister. Who admittedly became a stripper. But the best and most famous stripper ever.
 
2013-02-13 12:21:13 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.


I scored some of my best weed in food service. There are perks aside from the cash.
 
2013-02-13 12:21:40 PM  
You would be surprised at how many helicopter 'rents try to get their kid's credit reports or dispute the findings on them.
 
2013-02-13 12:23:08 PM  
The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK. Note that this stat tracks successful log-ins, not just attempts at logging in.

For fun, we did the math. Assuming the student's parents had divorced and both remarried, then 4 possible people could be logging in and viewing the student's grades. Those 4 people would each have to log-in 10.7 times a day, each day, to arrive at the '300 times' figure.  In this case, though, the parents were split and only one had remarried, so that's 3 people looking at the portal 14.29 times a day 7 days a week. That student exhibits a lot of testing anxiety, probably because they're afraid of what Mommy and Daddy will say when they see the grade.

And then, of course, we had a student whose parents had never logged in, not even to set up preferences (such as automatically emailing the parents when the gradebook is updated). That student acts out in class (plea for attention) and hardly ever completes homework. That student's test grades are abysmal. The parents don't show up to parent-teacher conferences.
 
2013-02-13 12:23:58 PM  

cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?
The parents aren't really helping their child, life will kick you in the nuts every now and again. The child needs to realize this, take the hit and move on. The kid learns nothing of life if mom and dad are there to absorb the hits for them.


We were looking for a science writer for my team this past summer and my boss took glee in showing me the most "shocking" email he had ever received from a job candidate.

A woman wrote a cover letter that basically sung the praises of her son and why he would be perfect for this job and why his minor in biology gave him a perfect understanding of our field (note: we are a pharmaceutical association). My boss then wrote a response to her asking why didn't she just apply for the job herself since she seemed more interested in it than her son. I don't think she was pleased.

When I then told him I've been hearing about these cases since I left high school and I didn't find it "shocking" at all he looked a little disappointed. I think this was the first time he looked for a new writer/designer without using a temp agency.

/we managed to fill the position with a functioning adult, thank FSM
 
2013-02-13 12:25:11 PM  

evaned: cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?

It's not hard to find stories of employers talking about getting calls from parents of job candidates or rejected candidates. Needless to say, if it's a pre-decision, it usually doesn't impress the employer.


Evidently I've been retired too long, that applicants form would hit the file 13 circular file right quick.
Like I really want to hire someone that never cut the apron string.
 
2013-02-13 12:27:32 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

I was friends with a girl in high school whose mother was like that. The woman was completely insane and followed her daughter everywhere. This was also before cell phones so she would drive by her friends houses if she was out for say a sleep over, or we'd see her drive slowly the movie theater if we were at the movies. Put the girl on oodles of medications even though the girl did not need to be on any sort of medications.

The girl decided she had had enough of the over-baring mother so she ran away with her boyfriend (these were all really good kids, made good grades, kinda nerdy...) Woman calls up my parents insisting that her daughter ran away because I was such a bad influence on her kid. Asks my mom to speak to me and when my mom said I wasn't home completely went off the rails screaming and cussing at my mother, ect ect ect. She ends up coming to my parents house banging on the door, still screaming, blaming me (who knows why) for her daughter running away. Long story shorter, cops were called, woman's husband was called and she ended up in the mental hospital for about a year.

Daughter was at the boyfriends house with his parents, they were protecting the girl from the mom. When mom went away she moved back in with her dad and he got a divorce and a restraining order.


Damn...some people just need a farkin' life of their own.
 
2013-02-13 12:28:13 PM  
You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.
 
2013-02-13 12:28:15 PM  
I keep waiting for backlash on this.  Like serious societal backlash. I was already the only person who knew how to cook in college and I was on a short list of people who worked.
I'm pretty successful judging by my peers.  I expected "generic office job" to be normal after a few years, but food service and retail still reign supreme.  And that's after the industry my degree was in collapsed and I started over (yay finance).
 
2013-02-13 12:28:53 PM  

KatjaMouse: cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?
The parents aren't really helping their child, life will kick you in the nuts every now and again. The child needs to realize this, take the hit and move on. The kid learns nothing of life if mom and dad are there to absorb the hits for them.

We were looking for a science writer for my team this past summer and my boss took glee in showing me the most "shocking" email he had ever received from a job candidate.

A woman wrote a cover letter that basically sung the praises of her son and why he would be perfect for this job and why his minor in biology gave him a perfect understanding of our field (note: we are a pharmaceutical association). My boss then wrote a response to her asking why didn't she just apply for the job herself since she seemed more interested in it than her son. I don't think she was pleased.

When I then told him I've been hearing about these cases since I left high school and I didn't find it "shocking" at all he looked a little disappointed. I think this was the first time he looked for a new writer/designer without using a temp agency.

/we managed to fill the position with a functioning adult, thank FSM


Great response, kudos to him!
 
2013-02-13 12:32:08 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: JohnAnnArbor: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.

I should add, I noticed a lot more "parental involvement" in general at the same time.  (Some can be good, to be clear; I mean the toxic kind.)


Last year, we needed a fourth roommate so we didn't get stuck with another random for our on-campus apartment, so I offered it to a kid I kinda knew (we talked in  class a bit, nothing major) so my other two roommates agreed and we got him in with us for last year. After about a month post-move in, the dude kinda became the butt of our jokes. He was incredibly creepy (just appearing at our doorways and staring for a couple of minutes before saying anything) and socially inept sometimes (like most engineers, really...okay, slightly aspie engineers) I only met his mother a couple of times and she was on his case about everything. My parents dropped my shiat off when I moved in and left as soon as the car was unloaded. Same with the other two. This kid though, shiat, his mother insisted that they stay and make sure he's "all moved in" and everything. Dude lived closer to campus than I did (~45 minutes)

Towards the end of the year, one of my roommates and I were preparing for our senior design presentation, and were understandably stressed for the 2 weeks prior. Creepy kid got on our nerves with everything, especially the classes that we had together. Dude got pissed at me for something (I think I told him to "fark off" for deliberately pushing my buttons). So he sends me this 6 page manifesto text while I'm at the presentation about how I'm a douche and a loser and no one likes me and all I do is fark fat chicks (I have standards but they were at most chubby) and I'm farking retarded and can't do anything (honestly, most of that is probably right, but I think he was directing his anger at my other roommate more at me than anger at me, but oh well) and so I simply told him that he should sit the fark down and shut up since I'm the only one that has bothered to keep him around in our apartment, that I got him in, that I kept the third roommate (who's a bit homophobic) from kicking this kid's ass for being a little...fabulous in nature and that if he's really this pissed at me then I'll level him when I get back from the presentation.

long story short, dude was on the phone with his dad about the whole thing and when I was heading back to the apartment, was heard to say "oh god dad, he's coming back now. What do I do" and on the verge of tears, etc. (granted this is hearsay from the roommate that wanted to kick his ass during the year for being a little light in the loafers but he could hear this kid through the walls) Pissant couldn't even just talk to me, instead he cried to mom and dad about it.

/cool now that I don't have to live with him. We paintball sometimes
//really hot sister though...
///but holy fark did that mother fark him up
////his dad was pretty chill
 
2013-02-13 12:32:14 PM  

aevorea: And then, of course, we had a student whose parents had never logged in, not even to set up preferences (such as automatically emailing the parents when the gradebook is updated). That student acts out in class (plea for attention) and hardly ever completes homework. That student's test grades are abysmal. The parents don't show up to parent-teacher conferences.


Jesus. How about a school tax rebate plan for parents who log in at least once a week (or 4x/month including at least once a week). Right now, there's no incentive (beyond the obvious) for parents to care, and it really does hurt everyone else's education when they don't.

An incentive won't solve the problem, but at least some parents would then be arsed to literally do the least they can - and you cut off the "I had no idea my 15 year old couldn't read!" with a weekly/monthly progress report.

// I'm thinking up to a $100 tax credit ($50/semester) ought to do
 
2013-02-13 12:32:28 PM  
As opposed to helicopter government, i wonder which spawned the other... like a chicken or teh egg thing
 
2013-02-13 12:33:57 PM  

grinding_journalist: olapbill: we prefer the term trebuchet .

While it's an easy mistake to make, trebuchets and catapults are different things. If you're using it as a verb, trebuchets catapult objects, but as a noun, they're different.




Um, no. A trebuchet is a type of catapult. It's like toads and frogs. All trebuchets are catapults but not all catapults are trebuchets.
 
2013-02-13 12:36:19 PM  
is this the thread where we all act like we should let kids run free and unsupervised?

i love this one

/also look forward to germ threads where suddenly everyone eats from the dumpster & uses rusty nails as toothpicks
 
2013-02-13 12:37:13 PM  

T.M.S.: Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.

I know how this ended. Once she got away the stage mom focused on your friends sister. Who admittedly became a stripper. But the best and most famous stripper ever.


Isn't that the plot to "Almost Famous"?  Or am I thinking of the porn parody of said film?
 
2013-02-13 12:40:05 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.


Congratulations on creating someone who won't function at all once you are gone!  My grandparents died last year and my 63 year old father has no idea what to do with his life, since he never cut the apron strings, and this was basically the attitude they had.  When they died he essentially had a complete breakdown, despite not working at the time, which meant that I as a 24 year old had to handle all of our families affairs.  Also he now begs money off my mom since they continued to 'pay' him for working at their company they sold 30 years ago, despite him not really working and mostly watching TV then.  I barely respect my father because of all of this, since I had to pretty much teach myself what it meant to be an adult, since I only had a horrible example to look to.  I guess a negative example is better than no example, but it was pretty sad to realize at 10 that I wanted to be nothing like my dad because he wasn't really an adult.  He is a very intelligent and educated man, but because his parents pretty much handled all of his affairs his entire life he no longer has a life.  So you have this to look forward to with your kid.

/maybe I got trolled
 
2013-02-13 12:41:36 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.


I got a cool work-study job in the campus print shop.  Got buzzed on ink fumes, worked with hazardous equipment (almost lost two fingers in a press), and my older coworkers took me to strip clubs.  Also, we printed tests, which supplemented minimum wage and my sex life.
 
2013-02-13 12:47:29 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy: Um, no. A trebuchet is a type of catapult. It's like toads and frogs. All trebuchets are catapults but not all catapults are trebuchets.


Huh. I'd always thought that the difference was that trebs used a counterweight to generate the throwing force, while catapults were traction powered- and by and large this seems to be the case, but really the difference is semantic, in that a catapult catapults objects, and trebs are a type, as you said. Most of the images and examples I can find of "catapults" are traction powered, with trebuchets, while still catapults, are listed separately.

/something new every day
 
2013-02-13 12:50:32 PM  
I wouldn't call my Mom a helicopter; more of an ICBM, used once to devastating effect.

I went off the the rails when I hit college; partied like an animal and got a 0.7 GPA my first semester.   Mom drove from Chicago to Florida to give me shiat for a week.  Then she went home and I graduated with honors.

Other than that, she gave me lots of space.

/my friends all loved her; probably because my humiliation amused them.
 
2013-02-13 12:52:46 PM  
I have actually gotten numerous letters over the years from parents asking me why we chose not to hire their kids.  Some were so over the top, that they demanded the kid be given another interview so that the parents could also be there to offer assistance.  Others were humorous in the fact that they documented how many PREVIOUS times Little Johnny had been passed over for employment and even went as far as to explain why!!  (Further verifying our decision to pass on the kid too).

It should also be noted that all of these " kids" were in their mid to late 20's and were college graduates.
 
2013-02-13 12:59:50 PM  

Source4leko: DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.

Congratulations on creating someone who won't function at all once you are gone!  My grandparents died last year and my 63 year old father has no idea what to do with his life, since he never cut the apron strings, and this was basically the attitude they had.  When they died he essentially had a complete breakdown, despite not working at the time, which meant that I as a 24 year old had to handle all of our families affairs.  Also he now begs money off my mom since they continued to 'pay' him for working at their company they sold 30 years ago, despite him not really working and mostly watching TV then.  I barely respect my father because of all of this, since I had to pretty much teach myself what it meant to be an adult, since I only had a horrible example to look to.  I guess a negative example is better than no example, but it was pretty sad to realize at 10 that I wanted to be nothing like my dad because he wasn't really an adult.  He is a very intelligent and educated man, but because his parents pretty much handled all of his affairs his entire life he no longer has a life.  So you have this to look forward to with your kid.

/maybe I got trolled



Naw, you trolled yourself by jumping to a bunch of unsupported conclusions based on your own apparently miserable life. One of the things your dad didn't teach you is that only a fool deals in absolutes. You can protect a child without fighting their battles and you can give a kid direction without taking the wheel. There is a middle ground between dropping your naked child off in the wilderness and cutting a grown man's steak for him. Thinking that those are the only options is a sign of immaturity. Maybe you didn't raise yourself as well as you seem to think you did.
 
2013-02-13 01:02:19 PM  
And I'm going to go ahead and say this. I am a department head. I have interviewed and hired many people. To all those who are claiming that a parent called or e-mailed them to inquire about their child, unless you work retail, I'm going to go ahead and say that I think you're lying like shiat. I call shenanigans.
 
2013-02-13 01:03:18 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Source4leko: DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.

Congratulations on creating someone who won't function at all once you are gone!  My grandparents died last year and my 63 year old father has no idea what to do with his life, since he never cut the apron strings, and this was basically the attitude they had.  When they died he essentially had a complete breakdown, despite not working at the time, which meant that I as a 24 year old had to handle all of our families affairs.  Also he now begs money off my mom since they continued to 'pay' him for working at their company they sold 30 years ago, despite him not really working and mostly watching TV then.  I barely respect my father because of all of this, since I had to pretty much teach myself what it meant to be an adult, since I only had a horrible example to look to.  I guess a negative example is better than no example, but it was pretty sad to realize at 10 that I wanted to be nothing like my dad because he wasn't really an adult.  He is a very intelligent and educated man, but because his parents pretty much handled all of his affairs his entire life he no longer has a life.  So you have this to look forward to with your kid.

/maybe I got trolled


Naw, you trolled yourself by jumping to a bunch of unsupported conclusions based on your own apparently miserable life. One of the things your dad didn't teach you is that only a fool deals in absolutes. You can protect a child without fighting their battles and you can give a kid direction without taking the wheel. There is a middle ground between dropping your naked child off in the wilderness and cutting a grown man's steak for him. Thinking that those are the only options is a sign of immaturity. Maybe you didn't raise yourself as well as you seem to think you did.


Yep.  I am sure your kid will be different, and you will avoid all of these mistakes.  After all, they are your precious little snowflake.
 
2013-02-13 01:05:52 PM  

somedude210: JohnAnnArbor: JohnAnnArbor: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Probably.  I'm early 40s.  When I was a college freshman, the cafeteria jobs were gone by the first day of classes.  A few years later, the same jobs would go unfilled all year.  I asked an underclassman who constantly complained about lacking cash about taking one of those; she was HORRIFIED at the idea of lowering herself to work food service.

I should add, I noticed a lot more "parental involvement" in general at the same time.  (Some can be good, to be clear; I mean the toxic kind.)

Last year, we needed a fourth roommate so we didn't get stuck with another random for our on-campus apartment, so I offered it to a kid I kinda knew (we talked in  class a bit, nothing major) so my other two roommates agreed and we got him in with us for last year. After about a month post-move in, the dude kinda became the butt of our jokes. He was incredibly creepy (just appearing at our doorways and staring for a couple of minutes before saying anything) and socially inept sometimes (like most engineers, really...okay, slightly aspie engineers) I only met his mother a couple of times and she was on his case about everything. My parents dropped my shiat off when I moved in and left as soon as the car was unloaded. Same with the other two. This kid though, shiat, his mother insisted that they stay and make sure he's "all moved in" and everything. Dude lived closer to campus than I did (~45 minutes)

Towards the end of the year, one of my roommates and I were preparing for our senior design presentation, and were understandably stressed for the 2 weeks prior. Creepy kid got on our nerves with everything, especially the classes that we had together. Dude got pissed at me for something (I think I told him to "fark off" for deliberately pushing my buttons). So he sends me this 6 page manifesto t ...


manifesto or it didn't happen.
 
2013-02-13 01:06:00 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: And I'm going to go ahead and say this. I am a department head. I have interviewed and hired many people. To all those who are claiming that a parent called or e-mailed them to inquire about their child, unless you work retail, I'm going to go ahead and say that I think you're lying like shiat. I call shenanigans.


A more reasonable person would count his blessings.  You can know what they are, but you can't know who's lying.
 
2013-02-13 01:06:44 PM  

damageddude: This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.


I have the opposite problem, I can't get the school to inform me of anything until it's been an issue for 6 weeks and requires administrative intervention, or that farking robo dialer they have that has to call 4 or 5 times to let me know my 6 year old didn't show up for school even though I called them to tell them he'd be out.
 
2013-02-13 01:07:01 PM  
God damn I'm glad that online grade thing didn't exist when I was going to school. Both my parents are great, but neither of them went past grade 5 so they didn't have any idea how to help me at all in school(believe me I asked for help a few times) . They had no idea what I did at school past grade 4, but I knew enough to buckle down and get shiat done if my grades slipped.
 
2013-02-13 01:13:06 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: DROxINxTHExWIND: And I'm going to go ahead and say this. I am a department head. I have interviewed and hired many people. To all those who are claiming that a parent called or e-mailed them to inquire about their child, unless you work retail, I'm going to go ahead and say that I think you're lying like shiat. I call shenanigans.

A more reasonable person would count his blessings.  You can know what they are, but you can't know who's lying.


I don't know who is lying and never clamied too. I'm just giving my opinion.
 
2013-02-13 01:15:09 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.


And what thanks will you get? He'll put you in the crooked nursing home they showed on 60 Minutes and he'll never write or call.
 
2013-02-13 01:15:39 PM  

Fizpez: PS that wasnt directed at you - just explaining why they want to make sure they can at least say "Well, we tried..."


No problem. And we love the program -- like any child our son sometimes "forgets" to tell us things. I was just perplexed that we got a letter home dinging us for not logging on more often when I get a weekly email summary that I can read at work Monday morning.

/wish they included upcoming assignments, hate that "it's Sunday night and I need x, y & z for my project due tomorrow
 
2013-02-13 01:19:12 PM  

Source4leko: Yep. I am sure your kid will be different, and you will avoid all of these mistakes. After all, they are your precious little snowflake.


Part of guiding a child is teaching him how to act independently while feeling safe.

My child is precious to me. I'm sorry you weren't precious to your parents. That's not sarcasm, that's real pity.

My kids aren't of an age where they should have to deal with the bullshiat adults throw around. Like I told my son when he got into a fight on the bus a couple months back, when it comes to that zero tolerance bullshiat you worry about the kid throwing punches and I'll worry about the adults. Hit him back if you have to and don't pull your punches.

I'm sure these unrealistically absurd parents exist somewhere, but I've never seen them.
 
2013-02-13 01:20:07 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy: grinding_journalist: olapbill: we prefer the term trebuchet .

While it's an easy mistake to make, trebuchets and catapults are different things. If you're using it as a verb, trebuchets catapult objects, but as a noun, they're different.

Um, no. A trebuchet is a type of catapult. It's like toads and frogs. All trebuchets are catapults but not all catapults are trebuchets.


and if they are made of wood they are witches.
not the toads and frogs. They are more like ducks.
just weigh the biatch already.
 
2013-02-13 01:24:49 PM  

somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?


Just because you're part of the generation you're criticizing doesn't make you any less wrong than the older generations.
 
2013-02-13 01:27:27 PM  

grinding_journalist: CtrlAltDestroy: Um, no. A trebuchet is a type of catapult. It's like toads and frogs. All trebuchets are catapults but not all catapults are trebuchets.

Huh. I'd always thought that the difference was that trebs used a counterweight to generate the throwing force, while catapults were traction powered- and by and large this seems to be the case, but really the difference is semantic, in that a catapult catapults objects, and trebs are a type, as you said. Most of the images and examples I can find of "catapults" are traction powered, with trebuchets, while still catapults, are listed separately.

/something new every day


Catapults are, simply speaking, devices that fire a projectile without the aid of explosives. Slingshots, for example, are catapults. The one that most people think of when someone says "catapult" is the mangonel and/or  onager. That's only one type of midevil siege engine. The 3 most "common" types are the trebuchet, mangonel, and the ballista.

The mangonel used a single skein  torsion spring to move its arm. They started with spoon like buckets at the end of the arm. Eventually they used small slings. The sling types are more commonly called onagers.

The ballista used dual skein torsion springs to move a pair of arms with a cable pulled taut in between. The fired missiles instead of a ball (or ball like objects) and were basically large crossbows.

The most powerful trebuchets used a large counterweight at the short end of a fulcrum to give massive amounts of leverage. These were the battlefield monsters. They had huge ranges, could throw boulders, and were well guarded. If they weren't throwing projectiles to destroy walls they were throwing diseased animals over the walls for early biological warfare.

Modern trebuchets sometimes use strong steel springs as their source of energy. Other modern types change the way that they use a counterweight. Floating arm trebs are very efficient and have a huge size and weight to range ratio.

Look up pumpkin chunkin' documentaries if you want to see cool modern catapults.

/I like building siege engines
 
2013-02-13 01:33:11 PM  

cig-mkr: evaned: cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?

It's not hard to find stories of employers talking about getting calls from parents of job candidates or rejected candidates. Needless to say, if it's a pre-decision, it usually doesn't impress the employer.

Evidently I've been retired too long, that applicants form would hit the file 13 circular file right quick.
Like I really want to hire someone that never cut the apron string.


...thus dooming the candidate to hug his momma's apron strings even more.

I bet you half the time these candidates don't even know their parents called. They made the mistake of telling them they got an interview.
 
2013-02-13 01:33:13 PM  
I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?

But I recently remembered something from my own childhood: notes and newsletters that my school would give me (and all the students) to bring home to our parents on a regular basis. A lot of these newsletters were mass-produced, and they were packed with "parenting tips" of the sort that a helicopter parent could appreciate. I was a bit of a precocious child, enough to read them on the bus home, and enough to use a version of what they said in arguments with my non-helicopter parents (a slightly twisted version -come on, I was seven years old- but a recognizable one).

But I've been wondering: what if I wasn't so precocious aftere all? What if the other kids were reading these too, and assimilating their ideas -which were very appealing to a kid, let me tell you- into their own nascent thoughts about raising kids? Twenty years later, the model espoused in these pamphlets has been thoroughly discredited, but it's already ingrained in the minds of a generation of young parents, who will pass the model onto their children simply by practicing it.
 
2013-02-13 01:34:40 PM  
This is one of the reasons why, while I would love to one day teach high school physics (It was my HS physics teacher that made me realize I loved physics), my plan is to wait until after I retire from whatever job I get to do it.

Because the kids, I think I could handle, but I am certain I would *murder* a parent. (Well, OK, not really, but jesus.)

/The other reasons are "It would be difficult to raise a family with that as the sole income" and "I really don't feel like getting ANOTHER degree just to teach once I've got my Ph.D."
 
2013-02-13 01:38:43 PM  
aevorea:
The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK.

I saw something similar on Reddit... in the few hours after a teacher posted that a parent was logging in hundreds of times a week, the parent had logged in >70 more times.  Insane.
 
2013-02-13 01:39:53 PM  

talulahgosh: manifesto or it didn't happen.


I kinda wished I kept it. It was special in a derpy sorta way. My roommates and I all had a good laugh at his expense
 
2013-02-13 01:40:56 PM  

IlGreven: somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?

Just because you're part of the generation you're criticizing doesn't make you any less wrong than the older generations.


myself personally or my generation?
 
2013-02-13 01:52:26 PM  

Glendale: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

Please tell me you told the mom to fark off and gave the roommate extra garbage duty.


Honestly, it wasn't worth the effort. You know when you can just tell that arguing with someone will simply go nowhere because they aren't operating from any sort of logical reasoning but just reacting on pure emotion? That was this girl's mother. She was going almost ballistic because I was forcing her child to walk to the edge of the curb at night with a heavy garbage bin and risk being raped, kidnapped or otherwise eaten by a grue. I just thanked her for her input and told her it was designed to be fair; everyone had to take equal risk at being raped in a heap of garbage. That didn't go over well so I just told her I'd talk it over with her daughter and then hung up. This was simply episode #117 in the hit series "Holy trippin balls your mother is insane".

It was just easier to let it slide and then assign her some other chore, vacuuming I think. I sort of felt sorry for the girl, she basically had no coping skills whatsoever (big surprise) and every problem was a crisis of monumental proportions. She flunked out once she started dating a guy who essentially took over the role of telling her what to do and what to be upset about. Last I heard she was working in a factory making car seats.
 
2013-02-13 01:52:38 PM  

Too Pretty For Prison: miss diminutive: In university I actually received a telephone call from one of my roommate's mothers who yelled at me for a) trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month and b) not taking her daughter along on during our last grocery trip.

Not surprisingly, my roommate was a psycho hose-beast.

Why wait until college?  I sent out invitations for my son's 8th birthday party a few months ago.  One of the moms emailed me back and suggested I have the party somewhere besides the laser tag sports arena my son chose.  She didn't want her son playing "war games" and "learning to kill other boys with guns".  I tried to be cool and said it was already in stone, so too bad.  She started sending me emails with alternative places I could hold the party.  The last straw came when she hit "reply to all" with my original invite and asked the other parents if they would be happy with her choice (a place called Bounce-U) over my choice.  Her email went on to say "Dave (that's me) is a member of the PTO and should be setting a better example for our young children to follow...".  I returned the favor and hit reply to all with this "Fark you, Michelle.  The party is at Sports Fusion.  Everyone but your little snowflake is invited."  Aside from Michelle, I had 100% attendance.  They're still buzzing over that one.


[internethighfive.jpg]

Holy shiat, that's chutzpah.
 
2013-02-13 02:08:00 PM  

ThighsofGlory: DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.

And what thanks will you get? He'll put you in the crooked nursing home they showed on 60 Minutes and he'll never write or call.


If I die in a nursing home I'm gonna come back and haunt the shiat out of him and his family. I'm clanging chains, knocking pictures off of walls, and doing shiat that will make his dog bark down dark hallways.
 
2013-02-13 02:23:01 PM  
FTA: "But college students are adults and they need to be learning how to be adults, which means solving heir own problems. If we don't give them the opportunity to do that, we really are taking something away from them."

A) I'm not a fan of helicopter parenting.

B) Considering how long on average it takes children to become financially independent (truly financially independent) of their parents in this country, I'd argue they are hardly "adults"- even at that age.  Am I blaming society?  Possibly.  Mostly I'm just pointing out that it's more than just parents who may have a vested interest in keeping the young "under thumb".

C) "Learning to solve my own problems", being responsible, and all that is honestly something you should be deeply involved in learning well before college age.  I started around age nine-to-twelve as a for instance, and I had that crap more or less under control before I was sixteen.
 
2013-02-13 02:40:26 PM  

Joe Blowme: As opposed to helicopter government, i wonder which spawned the other... like a chicken or teh egg thing


The first generation of helicoptered kids are now IN government, as are the generation of adults who were their parents. The idea that people are so precious they can't be allowed to decide for themselves has been building for about 30 years, and now we're reaping the rewards.
 
2013-02-13 02:44:22 PM  

somedude210: Just curious but is there a link between helicopter parents, special snowflake syndrome and why my generation (24) is a bunch of do-nothing crybabies?


Maybe, but that may be a function of age, more than anything else. As a Gen-X'er, I recall many of my peers back in the early-90's as being pretty worthless. Most of them have grown up in the last 20 years.....
 
2013-02-13 02:53:48 PM  

olapbill: grinding_journalist: I will provide the legally required amount of care for my child, until their 18th birthday. Then, it's the catapult.

we prefer the term trebuchet .


A trebuchet and a catapult are different siege weapons. I still want a trebuchet in my back yard, but I am fairly certain that it would be against city ordinance or something.

/gotta keep the neighbors in line somehow
 
2013-02-13 02:54:47 PM  

grinding_journalist: I will provide the legally required amount of care for my child, until their 18th birthday. Then, it's the catapult.


What if your kid is still in High School? I turned 18 a few months prior to graduation; and my parents didn't have a problem with me sticking around for awhile...

/ seems a bit disruptive to not gradually transition the kid to independence..
 
2013-02-13 02:58:42 PM  

Farce-Side: T.M.S.: Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.

I know how this ended. Once she got away the stage mom focused on your friends sister. Who admittedly became a stripper. But the best and most famous stripper ever.

Isn't that the plot to "Almost Famous"?  Or am I thinking of the porn parody of said film?


More the plot of the musical Gypsy. Which is porn parody to some people.

Almost Famous is the autobiographical story of a young journalist on the road with a 70's rock band.
 
2013-02-13 03:09:53 PM  

No Such Agency: aevorea:
The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK.

I saw something similar on Reddit... in the few hours after a teacher posted that a parent was logging in hundreds of times a week, the parent had logged in >70 more times.  Insane.


Sounds like OCD.  I've seen it with Facebook...
 
2013-02-13 03:10:58 PM  

damageddude: This year our son's school (he is in middle school) switched to a system where grades are posted throughout the semester online on a parents portal. These include grades for quizzes, tests, reports etc. which is actually pretty nice as we don't have to go through the pulling teeth to get grades from him etc. The first time I logged on, I set it up so we would get weekly emails so we wouldn't have to log in. After about 8 weeks we received a note from our son's homeroom teacher noting that we hadn't logged onto the parents portal in awhile and it was imperative to log on to track grades. I went back on, figuring there was something I missed when I set up the emails. Nope, just Big Brother upset we weren't being proper helicopter parents.


Parent portals suck! It's going to take me longer than 24 hours to grade 160 3-page papers. BACK OFF!
 
2013-02-13 03:20:51 PM  
Helicopter parenting is sIilly but some young people can be incredibly stupid about the way the working world works.

I interview well over 300 recent design school graduates every year for potential employment. Just last month we were forced to add in big fat letters at the top of the interview conformation email "MAKE SURE YOUR PORTFOLIO IS PRESENTABLE IN A VIEWABLE FORMAT. YOU WILL NOT BE GIVEN ACCESS TO OUR WIFI AND I WILL NOT WAIT WHILE YOU FIDDLE WITH YOUR COMPUTER.  PORTFOLIOS ON AN iPAD ARE FINE AS LONG AS THEY ARE READY TO VIEW. PORTFOLIOS ON POORLY DESIGNED OR MALFUNCTIONING  WEBSITES WILL BE IGNORED. PORTFOLIOS ON PHONES WILL BE RIDICULED.

We still get a couple idiots a week who act all pissed off when they find out these rules actually apply to them.

And don't get me started on the inappropriate emails I get from kids when they don't get hired.
 
2013-02-13 03:37:32 PM  

cettin: No Such Agency: aevorea:
The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK.

I saw something similar on Reddit... in the few hours after a teacher posted that a parent was logging in hundreds of times a week, the parent had logged in >70 more times.  Insane.

Sounds like OCD.  I've seen it with Facebook...


Or like a poor implementation of refresh.
 
2013-02-13 03:42:54 PM  
What's sad is when you get the reverse: Parents who could not care less about their kids' performance at school. Kids who are absolutely failing or with behavioral problems and the teachers schedule parent-teacher meetings and the parents cancel repeatedly at the last minute or don't even bother to show up. Or parents with special-needs kids who can't be bothered to come to IEP sessions--which they have to, because the IEP can't go forward without the parents' approval. And when the kid fails or has to be suspended or expelled, they're totally oblivious to any problems, or blame it on other students' bad influence.

Other side of the same coin?
 
2013-02-13 03:52:55 PM  

T.M.S.: Farce-Side: T.M.S.: Tremolo: A girl I knew growing up, extremely nice and talented, had the terrible combination of helicopter parents and a stage mother. This woman had wormed her way into every facet of her daughter's life and it was pretty creepy to witness. There were a few instances of the girl acting out as high school came along and I had the feeling that you could draw a straight line from the mother's pressure right to the daughter's behavior.

After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late. There's nothing good about helicopter parents. It wouldn't bother me how pathetic they are if they weren't so goddamn damaging to their kids.

I know how this ended. Once she got away the stage mom focused on your friends sister. Who admittedly became a stripper. But the best and most famous stripper ever.

Isn't that the plot to "Almost Famous"?  Or am I thinking of the porn parody of said film?

More the plot of the musical Gypsy. Which is porn parody to some people.

Almost Famous is the autobiographical story of a young journalist on the road with a 70's rock band.


Oh yea, I remember now.  The girls in "Almost Famous" were still sluts though, so I guess it kind of relates.  The ones in the porn parody were also sluts.
 
2013-02-13 04:08:25 PM  
The most useful parenting advice I ever received was let your kid make their own choices as early as they can.  For example, my kid is 1 1/2 and he chooses what to have  for breakfast, what vegetables for dinner, and what books to read before bed.  He's already showing a desire to choose his clothes and showing interest in the potty and doing simple chores - wiping up spills, helping with laundry.  I'll let him make more and more choices over the years, while still maintaining ultimate control, but the plan is to have an almost fully autonomous kid used to making decisions, most of them good, by the time he's in high school.  That's the plan anyway.  If I have a confident kid who doesn't freak out when he has choices and never calls mommy for help, I will consider myself a successful parent.

I don't understand the parents that still won't let their 5 year olds choose what to wear or an 8 year old that doesn't help around the house.
 
2013-02-13 04:12:13 PM  
T.M.S.: ....... big fat letters at the top of the interview conformation email......


Hopefully this is in error......


/sorry HAD to
//once wrote a diatribe to Sears when they sent me an email referring to my upcoming "confermation" email (mostly because that was a canned auto response)
///not actually picking on you, this is fark, after all.

:)
 
2013-02-13 04:24:46 PM  

Millennium: I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?


Alternate theory: Proliferation of information.
Mom and dad can find out what's happening in china instantly, let alone the local high school campus.  They receive amber alerts via text, have weather streaming on their phone, and can log into a profile and check their kid's grades.

"Don't talk to strangers" has turned into "If you see a maroon suburban stay 50 feet away or more"
"Take a sweater" is advice that can be given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, remotely.
"What did you learn in school today" is a rhetorical question as mom know knows what you did/did not learn and the extent to which you did/did not learn it.
 
2013-02-13 04:32:16 PM  

mike_d85: Millennium: I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?

Alternate theory: Proliferation of information.
Mom and dad can find out what's happening in china instantly, let alone the local high school campus.  They receive amber alerts via text, have weather streaming on their phone, and can log into a profile and check their kid's grades.

"Don't talk to strangers" has turned into "If you see a maroon suburban stay 50 feet away or more"
"Take a sweater" is advice that can be given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, remotely.
"What did you learn in school today" is a rhetorical question as mom know knows what you did/did not learn and the extent to which you did/did not learn it.


I'd also say this started around times when competition got a lot more fierce. This was first coined in 1969, right? Parents who were kids in the Great Depression wanted to make sure that there kids were want for nothing and to only climb higher up the social and economic ladders. Making sure they were in the right social groups. Making sure they were taking the right classes. We were in a Space Race at the time and science and math were greatly stressed and kids were competing to get into MIT more than ever. It just snowballed from there I think.
 
2013-02-13 04:33:01 PM  
had a former foster parent lose her shiat with me
yup, a foster parent
hadn't lived with them since I was 10 but she would call me in boys homes and later,
send letters to me in the army
Your grandpa/grandma died, they really wanted you to be there but you weren't
or can you go by the old house, your dad is an alcoholic and needs to go to the hospital

 I cut all contact with everyone in that family
and I swear to the gods, my life is infinitely better
3000 miles away
crazy people are crazy, even if they can't breed
 
2013-02-13 04:49:48 PM  

KatjaMouse: mike_d85: Millennium: I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?

Alternate theory: Proliferation of information.
Mom and dad can find out what's happening in china instantly, let alone the local high school campus.  They receive amber alerts via text, have weather streaming on their phone, and can log into a profile and check their kid's grades.

"Don't talk to strangers" has turned into "If you see a maroon suburban stay 50 feet away or more"
"Take a sweater" is advice that can be given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, remotely.
"What did you learn in school today" is a rhetorical question as mom know knows what you did/did not learn and the extent to which you did/did not learn it.

I'd also say this started around times when competition got a lot more fierce. This was first coined in 1969, right? Parents who were kids in the Great Depression wanted to make sure that there kids were want for nothing and to only climb higher up the social and economic ladders. Making sure they were in the right social groups. Making sure they were taking the right classes. We were in a Space Race at the time and science and math were greatly stressed and kids were competing to get into MIT more than ever. It just snowballed from there I think.


I first heard it applied as a more common event in the late ninties. Although your time period would coincide with television in the home, portable radios, etc. so the communications may just be feeding the flames.

I didn't correlate competition into it because I mix the helicoptering with the parents who don't allow little league to keep score.  That certainly would match with the chinese culture of heli-parents (there was a thread last week about buying grades).
 
2013-02-13 04:57:10 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: You can call me whatever you want as a parent. I don't give a shiat. Out of the billions of people on this planet there is ONE who came from me. I'll do whatever I can to protect him and give him guidence.


You mean well. There can be no doubt about that. But pain is not bad: it's our own built-in mechanism to tell us that something is wrong. It's how we learn from our mistakes, and all children -including your own- need to experience some of it in order to learn how to use it. Kids are resilient: let them take advantage of that resilience while they still have it, and they will retain much more of it.
 
2013-02-13 04:58:51 PM  

T.M.S.: Helicopter parenting is sIilly but some young people can be incredibly stupid about the way the working world works.


Yes, but helicopter parenting is the cause, not the cure. People need to be able to learn from their mistakes, and you can't do that if you've got a pair of cover-up artists sweeping everything away ahead of you.
 
2013-02-13 05:00:31 PM  

Gyrfalcon: What's sad is when you get the reverse: Parents who could not care less about their kids' performance at school. Kids who are absolutely failing or with behavioral problems and the teachers schedule parent-teacher meetings and the parents cancel repeatedly at the last minute or don't even bother to show up. Or parents with special-needs kids who can't be bothered to come to IEP sessions--which they have to, because the IEP can't go forward without the parents' approval. And when the kid fails or has to be suspended or expelled, they're totally oblivious to any problems, or blame it on other students' bad influence.

Other side of the same coin?


I've been teaching 15 years, and I'd rather have these parents than helicopter parents. At least with kids from sh*tty parents, you can make up for some of the problem. You can care about the kid, make them feel safe in your classroom, even loved (not like that you pervs), and show them that there can be a better life for them in the future.

With helicopter parents, everything is your fault right from the start, and there's almost nothing you can do to make them see reality. Guess what? Your kid cusses, plays on his/her phone, distracts the class, acts like an arsehole, etc. etc. when you aren't around. I'm lucky - I work in a school with cameras in every classroom, so when a parent says "my little Johnny would  never do X,Y,Z," we can cue up the film and show them what little Johnny was up to - and every time I see it, I have to fight to hold in my laughter at their  shocked faces.
 
2013-02-13 05:11:25 PM  

mike_d85: Millennium: I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?

Alternate theory: Proliferation of information.
Mom and dad can find out what's happening in china instantly, let alone the local high school campus.  They receive amber alerts via text, have weather streaming on their phone, and can log into a profile and check their kid's grades.

"Don't talk to strangers" has turned into "If you see a maroon suburban stay 50 feet away or more"
"Take a sweater" is advice that can be given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, remotely.
"What did you learn in school today" is a rhetorical question as mom know knows what you did/did not learn and the extent to which you did/did not learn it.


I've always thought the problem rose from the whole "for the children" attitude that people developed over the last thirty years. They are so child-centric they forget they are raising adults, not children.

Our grandparents knew better - they expected children to behave like adults, so they did. Now bad behavior is excused because they are just "children" instead of having the expectation that they should control their behavior.

But that's just my two cents.
 
2013-02-13 05:19:24 PM  
I dated this girl once after college.  She would talk on the phone to her mom every day.

One day at work, her boss was mean to her.  She tells her mom.  Then her mom CALLS her boss and yells.  The then-gf tells me this, and I'm like "WTF, your mom CALLED your boss?!?!?"  She didn't think anything was strange about that.

// CSB
//Not the best 3 months of my life
// nice boobies tho.
 
2013-02-13 05:38:26 PM  

Millennium: I used to wonder where helicopter parents learned it from. They've always existed in small numbers, but it has absolutely exploded in recent years. Most of these parents were not raised by helicopters, and even among those who were, most of their parents were not raised by helicopters. Why the sudden boom?

But I recently remembered something from my own childhood: notes and newsletters that my school would give me (and all the students) to bring home to our parents on a regular basis. A lot of these newsletters were mass-produced, and they were packed with "parenting tips" of the sort that a helicopter parent could appreciate. I was a bit of a precocious child, enough to read them on the bus home, and enough to use a version of what they said in arguments with my non-helicopter parents (a slightly twisted version -come on, I was seven years old- but a recognizable one).

But I've been wondering: what if I wasn't so precocious aftere all? What if the other kids were reading these too, and assimilating their ideas -which were very appealing to a kid, let me tell you- into their own nascent thoughts about raising kids? Twenty years later, the model espoused in these pamphlets has been thoroughly discredited, but it's already ingrained in the minds of a generation of young parents, who will pass the model onto their children simply by practicing it.


I think it's a direct side effect of having less kids, notice how many of the stories about helicopter parents it's an only-child?  The baby boom regularly saw 5kids (or more) families, hell, 2 of my great-grandparents came from 11 and 15 kid families.Boomers cut it in half with 2.5 kids.

Now my generation, suffering from the Great Recession, Student Debt, Housing Prices, Daycare Costs,    etc are delaying kids until much later in life and are maybe having 2 IF they are lucky.

That puts a lot of pressure on parents to have successful children when their geneticlegacy is tied up in 1 kid that they havesacrificed a lot of money and career mobilization to have.

I also think a fair bit of this has to do with the 24-hour news cycle (Pedos EVERYWHERE) and the "Everyone MUST go to College" pressure.
 
2013-02-13 05:40:55 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: T.M.S.: ....... big fat letters at the top of the interview conformation email......


Hopefully this is in error......


/sorry HAD to
//once wrote a diatribe to Sears when they sent me an email referring to my upcoming "confermation" email (mostly because that was a canned auto response)
///not actually picking on you, this is fark, after all.

:)


Yeah. And I usually proofread pretty well. Mistakes happen. But not on a resume or cover letter.

When I was in charge of reading all that stuff I would correct them with a red pen and send em' back.
 
2013-02-13 05:41:14 PM  
I had a convo with a friend about this very thing today. Helicopter parents are the reason I see ER claims come across my desk for BRUISES. and NASAL CONGESTION. and HEADACHES.

Literally I saw this today: 11 year old male. Bruise on his arm. $4,395 in ER charges to an insurance company.

Kiss it better, give him a lollipop, and send him back outside to play. You're grooming hypochondriacs!!!

/I hate some parents
 
2013-02-13 06:05:18 PM  

Gyrfalcon: What's sad is when you get the reverse: Parents who could not care less about their kids' performance at school. Kids who are absolutely failing or with behavioral problems and the teachers schedule parent-teacher meetings and the parents cancel repeatedly at the last minute or don't even bother to show up. Or parents with special-needs kids who can't be bothered to come to IEP sessions--which they have to, because the IEP can't go forward without the parents' approval. And when the kid fails or has to be suspended or expelled, they're totally oblivious to any problems, or blame it on other students' bad influence.

Other side of the same coin?


I find that both extremes breed sad sad kids that can't handle being adults.

I find that completely disinterested parents have kids that are stuck at 16 or 17 FOREVER because their parents didn't teach them anything about being an adult. There's usually a mental illness in tow as well.

Of the 4 people I knew with disinterested parents and only 1 broke the stereotype. He enrolled in the Military as soon as he was 18 and they forced him to grow up.
 
2013-02-13 06:51:18 PM  
deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-13 07:01:14 PM  

IlGreven: cig-mkr: evaned: cig-mkr: At what point does it stop, or do the helicopter parents continue when the child is employed too?

It's not hard to find stories of employers talking about getting calls from parents of job candidates or rejected candidates. Needless to say, if it's a pre-decision, it usually doesn't impress the employer.

Evidently I've been retired too long, that applicants form would hit the file 13 circular file right quick.
Like I really want to hire someone that never cut the apron string.

...thus dooming the candidate to hug his momma's apron strings even more.

I bet you half the time these candidates don't even know their parents called. They made the mistake of telling them they got an interview.


An important life lesson in itself.
 
2013-02-13 07:16:24 PM  

shortymac: Gyrfalcon: What's sad is when you get the reverse: Parents who could not care less about their kids' performance at school. Kids who are absolutely failing or with behavioral problems and the teachers schedule parent-teacher meetings and the parents cancel repeatedly at the last minute or don't even bother to show up. Or parents with special-needs kids who can't be bothered to come to IEP sessions--which they have to, because the IEP can't go forward without the parents' approval. And when the kid fails or has to be suspended or expelled, they're totally oblivious to any problems, or blame it on other students' bad influence.

Other side of the same coin?

I find that both extremes breed sad sad kids that can't handle being adults.

I find that completely disinterested parents have kids that are stuck at 16 or 17 FOREVER because their parents didn't teach them anything about being an adult. There's usually a mental illness in tow as well.

Of the 4 people I knew with disinterested parents and only 1 broke the stereotype. He enrolled in the Military as soon as he was 18 and they forced him to grow up.


Mine broke the stereotype. His parents either ignored him, insulted him, or beat him- almost daily for 16 years. Some kids it makes violent. Some kids it makes withdrawn.

Not him. He's well adjusted after years of finding himself, is proud of his scars because of reminders of how not to be, and is successful and social. I'm proud of him.
 
2013-02-13 08:14:47 PM  

gadian: The most useful parenting advice I ever received was let your kid make their own choices as early as they can.  For example, my kid is 1 1/2 and he chooses what to have  for breakfast, what vegetables for dinner, and what books to read before bed.  He's already showing a desire to choose his clothes and showing interest in the potty and doing simple chores - wiping up spills, helping with laundry.  I'll let him make more and more choices over the years, while still maintaining ultimate control, but the plan is to have an almost fully autonomous kid used to making decisions, most of them good, by the time he's in high school.  That's the plan anyway.  If I have a confident kid who doesn't freak out when he has choices and never calls mommy for help, I will consider myself a successful parent.

I don't understand the parents that still won't let their 5 year olds choose what to wear or an 8 year old that doesn't help around the house.


I agree with this 100%.  Giving kids choices helps them grow and even better is them learning there are good and bad consequences based on the choices they make.
 
2013-02-13 08:45:51 PM  
Why are we saying helicopter "parents," when nearly all of the stories I'm reading read as helicopter (bat shiat insane) mother?
 
2013-02-13 08:59:10 PM  

Tremolo: Rev. Skarekroe: Tremolo: After a few years of college out of state I heard that the girl had cut off contact with the mother, and a few months ago I actually read in the paper that the girl got a restraining order, about 10 years too late.

Was it this chick?
She was all over the news for a day or two.

That's her. I kept expecting to see e story on Fark but never did. I was in the theatre dept when she was in high school so I saw a decent amount of their crazy behavior. It sucks that she had to do that but I have no doubt that it was her only option to have a normal life.


I believe it did wind up on fark. I remember seeing it somewhere.
 
2013-02-13 09:05:50 PM  

aevorea: The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK. Note that this stat tracks successful log-ins, not just attempts at logging in.

For fun, we did the math. Assuming the student's parents had divorced and both remarried, then 4 possible people could be logging in and viewing the student's grades. Those 4 people would each have to log-in 10.7 times a day, each day, to arrive at the '300 times' figure.  In this case, though, the parents were split and only one had remarried, so that's 3 people looking at the portal 14.29 times a day 7 days a week. That student exhibits a lot of testing anxiety, probably because they're afraid of what Mommy and Daddy will say when they see the grade.

And then, of course, we had a student whose parents had never logged in, not even to set up preferences (such as automatically emailing the parents when the gradebook is updated). That student acts out in class (plea for attention) and hardly ever completes homework. That student's test grades are abysmal. The parents don't show up to parent-teacher conferences.


Jesus, that's once per hour. The grades don't even change that quickly.
 
2013-02-13 10:15:50 PM  
My friend and her husband were just complimented at a restaurant by strangers for telling their son that he can't win everything and has to learn how to lose, too. Kinda sad that such a thing seems to be so remarkable today, but it really does seem so anymore.
 
2013-02-13 11:08:06 PM  

miss diminutive: trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month


Out of curiosity, did you have 30 roommates, or just how did this "chore wheel" work?
 
2013-02-13 11:47:05 PM  

Merry Sunshine: miss diminutive: trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month

Out of curiosity, did you have 30 roommates, or just how did this "chore wheel" work?



www.sjps.tv
 
2013-02-13 11:53:56 PM  

Merry Sunshine: miss diminutive: trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month

Out of curiosity, did you have 30 roommates, or just how did this "chore wheel" work?


30? Do you take your garbage out every day?
img685.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-14 02:59:49 AM  
talulahgosh: manifesto or it didn't happen.

did this guy also like Michele Obama's new bangs?
 
2013-02-14 05:51:10 AM  

aevorea: The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK. Note that this stat tracks successful log-ins, not just attempts at logging in.

For fun, we did the math. Assuming the student's parents had divorced and both remarried, then 4 possible people could be logging in and viewing the student's grades. Those 4 people would each have to log-in 10.7 times a day, each day, to arrive at the '300 times' figure.  In this case, though, the parents were split and only one had remarried, so that's 3 people looking at the portal 14.29 times a day 7 days a week. That student exhibits a lot of testing anxiety, probably because they're afraid of what Mommy and Daddy will say when they see the grade.

And then, of course, we had a student whose parents had never logged in, not even to set up preferences (such as automatically emailing the parents when the gradebook is updated). That student acts out in class (plea for attention) and hardly ever completes homework. That student's test grades are abysmal. The parents don't show up to parent-teacher conferences.


That first one sounds like either a bug in whatever is counting the logins, or someone has a script that bugged out and hammers the login page.
 
2013-02-14 07:02:56 AM  

Merry Sunshine: miss diminutive: trying to institute an unfair "chore wheel" which would require her daughter to take out the garbage once a month

Out of curiosity, did you have 30 roommates, or just how did this "chore wheel" work?


Four of us in the house, garbage day came once a week, four weeks in a month....
 
2013-02-14 08:23:41 AM  

Pichu0102: aevorea: The school district that I work at uses an online portal so that parents can track their child's progress. One day, a fellow teacher and I were going over the Parent Portal stats and saw that one of our students' parents had logged in 300 times. IN ONE WEEK. Note that this stat tracks successful log-ins, not just attempts at logging in.

For fun, we did the math. Assuming the student's parents had divorced and both remarried, then 4 possible people could be logging in and viewing the student's grades. Those 4 people would each have to log-in 10.7 times a day, each day, to arrive at the '300 times' figure.  In this case, though, the parents were split and only one had remarried, so that's 3 people looking at the portal 14.29 times a day 7 days a week. That student exhibits a lot of testing anxiety, probably because they're afraid of what Mommy and Daddy will say when they see the grade.

And then, of course, we had a student whose parents had never logged in, not even to set up preferences (such as automatically emailing the parents when the gradebook is updated). That student acts out in class (plea for attention) and hardly ever completes homework. That student's test grades are abysmal. The parents don't show up to parent-teacher conferences.

That first one sounds like either a bug in whatever is counting the logins, or someone has a script that bugged out and hammers the login page.


maybe he wrote an app that will do a pushnotification when his child finishes a test./??
 
2013-02-14 10:52:42 AM  
I can definitely endorse the article's findings. I don't have helicopter parents, but there were a couple times in my college career when my mom or dad would be on the phone and be like "I should call up your professor about this!" and I could just feel my sense of self-worth fall through the floor. No, if I'm going to be a failure at something, I'm going to be a failure on my own, not with my parents help.
 
Displayed 127 of 127 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report