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(ABC)   40 minutes of raunchy phone sex played in court. Greatest. Murder trial. EVER   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 21
    More: Amusing, phone sex  
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10439 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 11:43:24 AM
8 votes:
When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.
2013-02-13 01:55:33 PM
4 votes:
It's amazing how many people in this thread have never heard of spentmiles.

Do yourselves a favor and favorite this genius in a bright color.  Also, never take anything he says as truth; enjoy it for the beautiful fiction that it is.
2013-02-13 09:32:58 AM
4 votes:
FTFA: her voice on the recording could be heard moaning and her mother and sister listened from the front row of the court room gallery....Eventually, Arias orgasms, and Alexander tells her, "You sound like a 12 year old having an orgasm, that's so hot, like little girl."....."You're bad, you make me feel so dirty," Arias responded.

Wow. There's awkward, and then there's A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
2013-02-13 02:08:37 PM
3 votes:

Giltric: I'm not talking about woen who fantasize about raping someone...women fantasize about getting raped.

Some women get off on things being out of their control, being tied up, being used, taken and.....ummm BRB.


There are cultural factors influencing that. Until not terribly long ago (10-odd years, maybe?), in romance novels, the first sex between the lead characters was always a rape.

That way, the female protagonist got to have sex, without having done anything so horrible as wanting to have sex.

Usually things got consensual after that. I think.
2013-02-13 04:27:07 PM
2 votes:
Quick questions - who recorded this? And why?
2013-02-13 11:50:17 AM
2 votes:

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.
2013-02-13 11:41:44 AM
2 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.


Women also have rape fantasies.
2013-02-13 11:40:13 AM
2 votes:
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
2013-02-13 11:40:03 AM
2 votes:
I hope I'm never a victim of murder, or assault or kidnapped or whatnot. Not for obvious reasons, but to save all of my dirty laundry being aired all over the media. Guy gets murdered to death by crazy eyes and I have to hear about what a kinky perv he is. Not fair.
2013-02-13 11:30:11 AM
2 votes:
I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".
2013-02-13 10:07:10 AM
2 votes:

somedude210: being told you sound like a 12-year-old getting off or doing so in front of your mother and sister?


i.imgur.com
2013-02-13 09:12:53 AM
2 votes:
"You're pretty, you're so attractive," Alexander said later. "I've never seen you look bad in my life. There are times when you've looked miserable and I've still, like, raped you."

And people say romance is dead.
2013-02-13 01:41:30 PM
1 votes:
In the eyes of many women, the mere fact that the boyfriend wanted and/or participated in "non-traditional" sex with her will be more than enough to justify her brutal murder of him or, barring that, to believe that the public airing of these tapes where she's a willing and active participant therein is more than adaquate punishment for doing so.

Never stick your dick in crazy.
2013-02-13 12:56:00 PM
1 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.


Yes, it is very important to kill or at least arrest people for their thoughts and fantasies.
2013-02-13 12:24:35 PM
1 votes:
He would still be alive if he had kept her properly tied up.
So its his own fault.
2013-02-13 12:01:45 PM
1 votes:

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


Hence the bright green highlighting. My day is always a bit brighter after a spentmiles post!

/+AAA, would recommend on Angie's List
2013-02-13 12:01:05 PM
1 votes:

Agent Smiths Laugh: Giltric: Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.

Women also have rape fantasies.

When women have a higher occurrence of committing rape rather than fantasizing about being raped, I'll worry about that.

It's far too easy, and possibly far too common, for men with rape fantasies to take the next step.


I'm not talking about woen who fantasize about raping someone...women fantasize about getting raped.

Some women get off on things being out of their control, being tied up, being used, taken and.....ummm BRB.
2013-02-13 11:46:03 AM
1 votes:

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.


Wow.

Just. Wow.
2013-02-13 11:36:57 AM
1 votes:

Walker: I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".


Yeah. She spent the last day accusing him of pleasuring himself to pictures of young boys trying to look like an absolute monster. However, no pictures were found on his computers and there was no evidence of files being deleted. If this guy WAS into that there would have to be something.

The phone conversation definately doesn't help the portrayal of the victim, but it's far from what she's been accusing him of.

Analysts on the inside have also seen a lot of witness leading and apparently she looks to the lawyer for guidance often through her testimony. I'm just super excited for when the prosecution gets their turn with her. There's no script for that.
2013-02-13 11:34:48 AM
1 votes:

Walker: I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".


seconded
2013-02-13 09:21:50 AM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: "You're pretty, you're so attractive," Alexander said later. "I've never seen you look bad in my life. There are times when you've looked miserable and I've still, like, raped you."

And people say romance is dead.


at least he didn't go "hey babe, boy your booty is so fine. I just slap it an it's like jello how it jiggles. Now Imma gonna have you finish but first I'm gonna stick this tree up your ass. You know why? Cause I love ya baby"
 
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