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(ABC)   40 minutes of raunchy phone sex played in court. Greatest. Murder trial. EVER   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 110
    More: Amusing, phone sex  
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10443 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 11:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 08:54:41 AM  
"I'm going to tie you to a tree and put it in your ass,"

wait...put the tree in her ass? Cause how can you do that if you're tied to it? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, PEOPLE!!!!
 
2013-02-13 09:12:53 AM  
"You're pretty, you're so attractive," Alexander said later. "I've never seen you look bad in my life. There are times when you've looked miserable and I've still, like, raped you."

And people say romance is dead.
 
2013-02-13 09:18:53 AM  

somedude210: wait...put the tree in her ass? Cause how can you do that if you're tied to it? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, PEOPLE!!!!


There's more than one tree in the world, duh. He obviously was going to tie her to ONE tree and them put ANOTHER tree in her ass.
 
2013-02-13 09:19:18 AM  
Goes to show you...you don't stick your dick in crazy.  You may get the fark of your life...but it may be your last.
 
2013-02-13 09:21:50 AM  

miss diminutive: "You're pretty, you're so attractive," Alexander said later. "I've never seen you look bad in my life. There are times when you've looked miserable and I've still, like, raped you."

And people say romance is dead.


at least he didn't go "hey babe, boy your booty is so fine. I just slap it an it's like jello how it jiggles. Now Imma gonna have you finish but first I'm gonna stick this tree up your ass. You know why? Cause I love ya baby"
 
2013-02-13 09:32:58 AM  
FTFA: her voice on the recording could be heard moaning and her mother and sister listened from the front row of the court room gallery....Eventually, Arias orgasms, and Alexander tells her, "You sound like a 12 year old having an orgasm, that's so hot, like little girl."....."You're bad, you make me feel so dirty," Arias responded.

Wow. There's awkward, and then there's A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
 
2013-02-13 09:48:29 AM  

Somacandra: Wow. There's awkward, and then there's A-W-K-W-A-R-D.


being told you sound like a 12-year-old getting off or doing so in front of your mother and sister?
 
2013-02-13 09:58:35 AM  
She seems like she'd be perfect for dirty conjugal visitation sex. Plus the idea of dating a girl who can't possibly drop by unannounced has always kind of appealed to me.
 
2013-02-13 10:07:10 AM  

somedude210: being told you sound like a 12-year-old getting off or doing so in front of your mother and sister?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-13 10:08:18 AM  
Uh, I'm sure there is a way but I have no idea how you would record a 40 minute phone call.

Also need to listen to said recording so I can determine if she killed the guy.
 
2013-02-13 10:11:46 AM  
The proof she's crazy

i2.cdn.turner.com

It's in her eyes.
 
2013-02-13 11:26:30 AM  
The long, meandering conversations ends with the pair singing a variety of songs, including the National Anthem, together until Alexander falls asleep.

I find this the most perplexing, as the sex talk is kinda tame by today's standards.
 
2013-02-13 11:27:53 AM  
What were the other 38 minutes for?
 
2013-02-13 11:30:11 AM  
I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".
 
2013-02-13 11:32:24 AM  
Mormons are sooooooo kinky
 
2013-02-13 11:34:48 AM  

Walker: I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".


seconded
 
2013-02-13 11:35:31 AM  
She's screwed.
 
2013-02-13 11:36:57 AM  

Walker: I don't trust this b*tch as far as I can throw her...and I can't throw her.
She's up there saying all this crazy BS and it's her word against a dead guy who can't defend himself.
Then when they actually have tapes proving she's lying, her excuse is "Ummmmm I was lying on the tape, yeah that's the ticket".


Yeah. She spent the last day accusing him of pleasuring himself to pictures of young boys trying to look like an absolute monster. However, no pictures were found on his computers and there was no evidence of files being deleted. If this guy WAS into that there would have to be something.

The phone conversation definately doesn't help the portrayal of the victim, but it's far from what she's been accusing him of.

Analysts on the inside have also seen a lot of witness leading and apparently she looks to the lawyer for guidance often through her testimony. I'm just super excited for when the prosecution gets their turn with her. There's no script for that.
 
2013-02-13 11:37:24 AM  
Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.
 
2013-02-13 11:37:34 AM  
"Oh my gosh, that is so debasing hot, I like it," Arias responded.

Fixed!
 
2013-02-13 11:37:44 AM  
...and twice on Arbor Day.
 
2013-02-13 11:38:47 AM  
I went to high school with Jodi, I was wonderng when an article about the trial would show up here.  Its interesting to hear from people around town who think she actually didn't do it.
 
2013-02-13 11:40:03 AM  
I hope I'm never a victim of murder, or assault or kidnapped or whatnot. Not for obvious reasons, but to save all of my dirty laundry being aired all over the media. Guy gets murdered to death by crazy eyes and I have to hear about what a kinky perv he is. Not fair.
 
2013-02-13 11:40:09 AM  
The judge was probably thinking, 'boy it's a good thing i never wear anything under this robe, now it's gonna pay off!'
 
2013-02-13 11:40:13 AM  
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
 
2013-02-13 11:40:15 AM  

lattago: I went to high school with Jodi, I was wonderng when an article about the trial would show up here.  Its interesting to hear from people around town who think she actually didn't do it.


Even though she admitted to doing it?
 
2013-02-13 11:40:21 AM  
Would the court recorder please read back from the transcript:
"Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap"
 
2013-02-13 11:40:47 AM  
From what I've seen so far she isn't really playing the he attacked me I am the person who defended myself aspect like she claimed. She is going hardcore into the I was a battered woman defense which is different than self defense. She also looks at the jury at important parts of her testimony which seems like it is all an act in order to get away with murder.

Has any of the guys former girlfriends come forward to claim he was also abusive to them? Guys who beat woman don't just start doing it out of the blue...there is usually a history of abuse in their relationships.
 
2013-02-13 11:41:04 AM  
In case TTIWWOP, NSFW pics of Miss Arias.
 
2013-02-13 11:41:20 AM  
Seems the lady liked getting it rough

/but also maybe she gave it a bit too rough in return
//tiger under the sheets for sure
 
2013-02-13 11:41:22 AM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.


Wonder what his Fark screen name was?
 
2013-02-13 11:41:44 AM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.


Women also have rape fantasies.
 
2013-02-13 11:41:56 AM  

NightOwl2255: She's screwed.


Again?
 
2013-02-13 11:42:08 AM  
ScouserDuck,

She didn't admit to it for a long time.  Lots of people here don't seem to know that now she says it was self defense.
 
2013-02-13 11:43:19 AM  

ScouserDuck: However, no pictures were found on his computers and there was no evidence of files being deleted. If this guy WAS into that there would have to be something.


Hey, um, what does the fact that there was no evidence of his presumed deviance on his computer have to do with anything at all about the man's sexuality? All it says to me is that he might have used safe browsing, or didn't need to surf for his particular rule 34 on that box. In any case, your hair is a bird and your argument is invalid.

/says more about you
 
2013-02-13 11:43:24 AM  
When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.
 
2013-02-13 11:44:15 AM  

lattago: ScouserDuck,

She didn't admit to it for a long time.  Lots of people here don't seem to know that now she says it was self defense.



IIRC she claimed they were home invaded or attacked by 2 people.
 
2013-02-13 11:44:15 AM  

Bslim: Would the court recorder please read back from the transcript:
"Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap"


One more outburst like that and I'll clear the courtroom!
 
2013-02-13 11:44:18 AM  
I haven't followed the case that closely - but didn't she stab him like 27 times, and shoot him twice?  It's just kinda hard to argue self-defense in that scenario.
 
2013-02-13 11:44:45 AM  

slayer199: The proof she's crazy

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

It's in her eyes.


Also, asymmetrical face.
 
2013-02-13 11:44:59 AM  

lattago: ScouserDuck,

She didn't admit to it for a long time.  Lots of people here don't seem to know that now she says it was self defense.


Little late to be pulling that move I take it?

/waits patiently for pleading insanity
 
2013-02-13 11:46:03 AM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.


Wow.

Just. Wow.
 
2013-02-13 11:47:17 AM  
The long, meandering conversations ends with the pair singing a variety of songs, including the National Anthem, together until Alexander falls asleep.

isn't that how they used to sign off on television stations years ago?
 
2013-02-13 11:47:31 AM  
I always hoped to get a cool case if I ever had to do jury duty.
You know, something I could write a book on after and make money on other peoples demise.
 
2013-02-13 11:47:33 AM  

mrswood: I hope I'm never a victim of murder, or assault or kidnapped or whatnot. Not for obvious reasons, but to save all of my dirty laundry being aired all over the media. Guy gets murdered to death by crazy eyes and I have to hear about what a kinky perv he is. Not fair.


Like that skit on SNL with Eli Manning.

Lawyer: Mr. Manning, you're on trial for murder. To help prove your innocence, I'd like to introduce your web browser history.
Manning: Um, I'd like to go ahead and plead guilty.
 
2013-02-13 11:48:23 AM  

Bslim: spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.

Wow.

Just. Wow.


Who predicted this story would end with someone getting shot in the face?

Wow is right.
 
2013-02-13 11:48:27 AM  
From a link in that article:

Jodi Arias Even Lied to Her Diary After Travis Alexander Was Dead

The page begins ".. that Travis is dead. What happened?!? Travis, what is this?"
The next entry is dated June 11and said in part, "Last night was so hard... I wanted so badly to call Travis, but knowing he wouldn't answer was too much to bear. And knowing he wasn't calling me anytime soon was just killing me. I broke down as I climbed into bed and just cried and cried and cried until I fell asleep."

Testimony in her murder trial that cited her phone records showed that Arias did call Alexander four times after she killed him and as late as June 15. The first call was just hours after he died and one call lasted 16 minutes which Verizon official Jody Citizen suggested indicated Arias was listening to Alexander's messages and possibly deleting her own messages to him.

When presented with overwhelming evidence that she was present and that she killed Alexander, she tells Detective Esteban Flores, "I'm not the brightest person but I don't think I could stab him. I think I would have to shoot him continuously until he was dead."

At another point while still insisting on her innocence, she tells Flores, "If, IF I had it in me.. [I would] make it as humane as possible... make it quick."

Alexander was stabbed 27 times, his throat was slashed and he was shot in the head.
Arias eventually admitted to Flores that she was in Mesa that day, but claimed that Alexander was killed by a masked man and woman who took her driver's license and threatened to kill her if she told anyone.

B*tch is batsh*t crazy.
 
2013-02-13 11:48:34 AM  

special20: ScouserDuck: However, no pictures were found on his computers and there was no evidence of files being deleted. If this guy WAS into that there would have to be something.

Hey, um, what does the fact that there was no evidence of his presumed deviance on his computer have to do with anything at all about the man's sexuality? All it says to me is that he might have used safe browsing, or didn't need to surf for his particular rule 34 on that box. In any case, your hair is a bird and your argument is invalid.

/says more about you


Wait...what?
 
2013-02-13 11:48:42 AM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


I laughed so hard my co-workers gave me dirty looks. Even if it's a fake story it was worth the read.
 
2013-02-13 11:50:06 AM  

mrswood: Who predicted this story would end with someone getting shot in the face?


It's a fairly common male masturbatory fantasy.  I blame porn.
 
2013-02-13 11:50:17 AM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.
 
2013-02-13 11:53:26 AM  
This is what happens when sex education is delegated to the internets.
 
2013-02-13 11:54:56 AM  

hp6sa: I haven't followed the case that closely - but didn't she stab him like 27 times, and shoot him twice?  It's just kinda hard to argue self-defense in that scenario.


Accident.
 
2013-02-13 11:55:38 AM  

Giltric: Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.

Women also have rape fantasies.


When women have a higher occurrence of committing rape rather than fantasizing about being raped, I'll worry about that.

It's far too easy, and possibly far too common, for men with rape fantasies to take the next step.
 
2013-02-13 11:56:22 AM  

Citrate1007: This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.


He's no PocketNinja, but he has his moments.
 
2013-02-13 12:01:05 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Giltric: Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.

Women also have rape fantasies.

When women have a higher occurrence of committing rape rather than fantasizing about being raped, I'll worry about that.

It's far too easy, and possibly far too common, for men with rape fantasies to take the next step.


I'm not talking about woen who fantasize about raping someone...women fantasize about getting raped.

Some women get off on things being out of their control, being tied up, being used, taken and.....ummm BRB.
 
2013-02-13 12:01:26 PM  

NightOwl2255: Citrate1007: This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.

He's no PocketNinja, but he has his moments.


Gotta admit man, that was some next level shiat.
 
2013-02-13 12:01:45 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


Hence the bright green highlighting. My day is always a bit brighter after a spentmiles post!

/+AAA, would recommend on Angie's List
 
2013-02-13 12:10:20 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


I'm speechless.  Quite possibly the greatest post in history.
 
2013-02-13 12:10:21 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


dude, if you didn't have TF already, I would've sponsored your ass so hard, your eyes would see detroit
 
2013-02-13 12:18:12 PM  

somedude210: "I'm going to tie you to a tree and put it in your ass,"

wait...put the tree in her ass? Cause how can you do that if you're tied to it? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, PEOPLE!!!!


That little birch had it coming
 
2013-02-13 12:19:17 PM  
This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.

He's no PocketNinja, but he has his moments.


Please. he's ten times more entertaining (spentmiles, that is)
 
2013-02-13 12:22:02 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.....


spentmiles, I love you so much.
 
2013-02-13 12:22:40 PM  

NightOwl2255: In case TTIWWOP, NSFW pics of Miss Arias.


Wow... and I thought I've seen pink scrambled eggs before. I was wrong.
 
2013-02-13 12:24:23 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.   ...


Best thing I ever read on Fark!  awesome!
 
2013-02-13 12:24:35 PM  
He would still be alive if he had kept her properly tied up.
So its his own fault.
 
2013-02-13 12:27:05 PM  
I was bumping around downtown a couple of weeks ago and I'm 99% sure I saw her defense attorney shlumping to the courthouse.
 
2013-02-13 12:28:09 PM  

Somacandra: FTFA: her voice on the recording could be heard moaning and her mother and sister listened from the front row of the court room gallery....Eventually, Arias orgasms, and Alexander tells her, "You sound like a 12 year old having an orgasm, that's so hot, like little girl."....."You're bad, you make me feel so dirty," Arias responded.

Wow. There's awkward, and then there's A-W-K-W-A-R-D.


Yeah, that is just gross.
 
2013-02-13 12:32:09 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


did not see that coming....
 
2013-02-13 12:37:53 PM  
Stop feeding the troll.
 
2013-02-13 12:40:54 PM  

rickythepenguin: I was bumping around downtown a couple of weeks ago and I'm 99% sure I saw her defense attorney shlumping to the courthouse.


CSB!
 
2013-02-13 12:44:46 PM  
i know the rule is to never put your dick in crazy, but i think i have accidently broken that rule - i hope i don't end up murdered to death too.

this chick on trial is much further down the crazy road though.
 
2013-02-13 12:44:55 PM  
img27.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-13 12:46:15 PM  
"I'm going to tie you to a tree and put it in your ass,"

Don't care how much they tease for the reboot. If it doesn't have Bruce Campbell, I'm not watching it.
 
2013-02-13 12:52:21 PM  
Anyone who's been following this trial at all can see this woman is completely nutters...  I came in to comment on the last line in the article...

The long, meandering conversations ends with the pair singing a variety of songs, including the National Anthem, together until Alexander falls asleep.

Is this something the kids are doing now?  Signing off from their raunchy phone sex with the Star Spangled Banner?  Was I born in the wrong decade, or what?  Did Manti Teo do this too?

Having said all this, that phone sex story above was worth the price of admission...
 
2013-02-13 12:54:21 PM  

somedude210: "I'm going to tie you to a tree and put it in your ass,"

wait...put the tree in her ass? Cause how can you do that if you're tied to it? THESE ARE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, PEOPLE!!!!


Well if it was a sapling, he could just bend it until it reached her ass.
 
2013-02-13 12:56:00 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Well if the guy is on tape having violent rape fantasies, maybe she did the world a favor.


Yes, it is very important to kill or at least arrest people for their thoughts and fantasies.
 
2013-02-13 12:56:12 PM  
 
2013-02-13 12:57:42 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen,



Is it bad that I'm laughing really hard because the manager got shot in the face?Yes.
 
2013-02-13 01:05:05 PM  

NightOwl2255: In case TTIWWOP, NSFW pics of Miss Arias.


In an attempt to insult the woman's labia, one of the commenters in the linked thread posted a picture of a roast beef sandwich. However, the sandwich looks supremely delicious.
 
2013-02-13 01:16:27 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen,..


You sound like fun... call me sometime!
 
2013-02-13 01:21:32 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen,


That was the most epic CSB I've read on Fark in years!!!
 
2013-02-13 01:22:35 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


Great Story Bro
 
2013-02-13 01:28:13 PM  

Citrate1007: spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.


This very well may be the best post I've ever read on Fark.

Is there a Fark C/S/B Award?
 
2013-02-13 01:30:05 PM  
"Oh my gosh, that is so debasing, I like it," Arias responded

if she likes being debased then hearing this tape played in public must be orgasmic
 
2013-02-13 01:33:05 PM  

KarmicDisaster: hp6sa: I haven't followed the case that closely - but didn't she stab him like 27 times, and shoot him twice?  It's just kinda hard to argue self-defense in that scenario.

Accident.


The Aristocrats!
 
2013-02-13 01:48:25 PM  

spentmiles: I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-13 01:49:54 PM  
spentmiles:

Favorited.
 
2013-02-13 01:55:33 PM  
It's amazing how many people in this thread have never heard of spentmiles.

Do yourselves a favor and favorite this genius in a bright color.  Also, never take anything he says as truth; enjoy it for the beautiful fiction that it is.
 
2013-02-13 02:08:37 PM  

Giltric: I'm not talking about woen who fantasize about raping someone...women fantasize about getting raped.

Some women get off on things being out of their control, being tied up, being used, taken and.....ummm BRB.


There are cultural factors influencing that. Until not terribly long ago (10-odd years, maybe?), in romance novels, the first sex between the lead characters was always a rape.

That way, the female protagonist got to have sex, without having done anything so horrible as wanting to have sex.

Usually things got consensual after that. I think.
 
2013-02-13 02:13:39 PM  
More like testimoaning amirite?!?
 
2013-02-13 02:20:36 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charge.  The bank investigated, contacted the phone sex operator, who then miraculously produced, for all parties involved, the recording of the conversation.  I was in my bedroom, listening through the air vent, while my dad played it for my mom in the basement.  It was all my slick lines, consummated with my bellowing, dramatic orgasm.

My parents were laughing so hard that my mom threw up.  I still to this day have never lived it down - every birthday card I get has a twenty dollar bill in it with a little note encouraging me to enjoy some phone sex, "on them."  I had to get a job at McDonald's, which really sucked because one night we got robbed and I watched my manager lady get shot in the face, point blank, brains all over the coffee pot and shake machine.  Trauma breeds trauma I guess.

So yeah, stay away from phone sex lines, and encourage your children to do the same.


I really need to start looking at usernames before reading posts, but then it wouldn't be as fun.
 
2013-02-13 02:22:09 PM  
She killed him because this is a classic case of "the girl you fark but won't take home to mother." She said the only time he paid attention to her was when they were alone. He didn't show any affection to her in front of other people.

She was just his skank on the side but she deluded herself that he loved her and she would do anything to please him, including converting to Mormonism so he would eventually marry her.

When she finally realized her true place in his life, she killed him.

She admitted she did it and the self-defense claim is bullcrap. He was in the shower. The only "self-defense" part was her defending her herself emotionally, not physically.

/a woman, BTW, and have no sympathy for her
 
2013-02-13 02:23:36 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen...


Whenever spentmiles shows up to a thread, we've reached the apex of posting...there's nowhere left to go but down.  Once again, you've outdone yourself and made our posts pedestrian in comparison.
 
2013-02-13 02:36:09 PM  
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2013-02-13 02:51:58 PM  

mudpants: [cdn.stripersonline.com image 320x240]


Came for this... leaving extra satisfied thanks to spentmiles.
 
2013-02-13 03:19:53 PM  
Gosh, what a dirty, filthy hooooorrrrrrrr

She sort of reminds me of an ex.
 
2013-02-13 03:42:48 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


I seriously love you.

So goddamn funny all the time, every time.
 
2013-02-13 04:07:04 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


I used to say that you were a poor man's Pocket Ninja, but you are really coming into your own.  Well done sir.  Well done.
 
2013-02-13 04:27:07 PM  
Quick questions - who recorded this? And why?
 
2013-02-13 04:34:05 PM  
I've had spentmiles favorited for awhile now.

Sometimes he disappoints, but it wasn't this time.
 
2013-02-13 05:31:22 PM  

Bruxellensis: It's amazing how many people in this thread have never heard of spentmiles.

Do yourselves a favor and favorite this genius in a bright color.  Also, never take anything he says as truth; enjoy it for the beautiful fiction that it is.


THIS^!

Spentmiles is the cream in my coffee.
 
2013-02-13 06:18:37 PM  

Nanuk-the White Bear: Quick questions - who recorded this? And why?


And why is this part of the trial?

And what is her FARK  handle again?
 
2013-02-13 06:28:21 PM  

edmo: Nanuk-the White Bear: Quick questions - who recorded this? And why?

And why is this part of the trial?

And what is her FARK  handle again?


The prosecution is trying to make this guy sound like the biggest dirtbag ever. This lady is claiming self defense..the crime? Stabbing a guy 27 times, slitting his throat, and shooting him othe head. So now she has testified that she was beat as a kid, this guy raped her, that he's a pedophile, and essentially she suffers from battered women's syndrome.

The phone conversation is an attempt to make him out to be a sexual deviant.
 
2013-02-13 08:27:58 PM  

ScouserDuck: edmo: Nanuk-the White Bear: Quick questions - who recorded this? And why?

And why is this part of the trial?

And what is her FARK  handle again?

The prosecution defense is trying to make this guy sound like the biggest dirtbag ever. This lady is claiming self defense..the crime? Stabbing a guy 27 times, slitting his throat, and shooting him othe head. So now she has testified that she was beat as a kid, this guy raped her, that he's a pedophile, and essentially she suffers from battered women's syndrome.

The phone conversation is an attempt to make him out to be a sexual deviant.


She claims he requested her record the calls and then have them sent to him.  However, she only did it this one time, and no evidence was ever found on his computer of this or any other phone call.

The chick is BSK (bat shiat krazy).  I'm sure Mr. Alexander was not the model LDS (moron), but I'm sure she wanted to everything and anything she could with him.  I think she was the sexual agressor at the start of this wild story and unleashed a beast.  When she would not stop when he wanted the relationship to stop, he got madder and madder at ther trying to drive her away.  After a couple of months, he probably said f' this, let me use her like the whore she wants to be.  GAME ON!

Now, it's sad it's Game Over for him.

Did she really have to neary decapitate the dude, and shoot him in the face, after 27-29 stabbies?  It was self defense, why didn't she just run outside?  He was naked, he was NOT going to chase you for very long.  I think after the phone call she taped she had made up her mind to kill him.  But she really didn't think out her plan too well.

I can't wait to see her on the cross examination.  Time to get the popcorn ready for interesting lawyering.
 
2013-02-13 10:51:38 PM  

spentmiles: When I was thirteen, my best friend started dating this older chick.  They started having sex regularly, which meant the only time he had for me was a few minutes during first lunch to tell me all the crazy things she would do.  He'd always ask me, "You ever had a chick do that?"  He knew I'd never even gotten my skinny dick out of my pants.  He just liked to rub it in that he was getting some and I wasn't.

I wanted to have a story to tell, so I decided to call one of the sex lines advertised in the back of the City Paper.  I stole my dad's credit card information, thinking that I could deny it and the bank would forgive the charges like they did when someone charged $3500 worth of auto parts to my mom's card.

I got the numbers off the card, waited until they were gone for the night, and then settled in with my loving bottle of lube and a warm washcloth.  I called up and got a hot sounding chick, who was a true professional - aggressive, loud, filthy dirty, and who kept putting me on hold every time it sounded like I was about to bust.  Unaware, the minutes were flying by.

Hearing her talk so dirty, I got a rush of temporary confidence.  I started saying all kinds of stuff: "You like it up the tits, honey?  You like it right up the tits?"  Whatever that meant.  "I want to come in your hair and rub it in like shampoo."  That's attentive.  "You ever come so hard you shiat your pants, sweetie?  I can make you thinner."  I was possessed and loving it.

Finally, after an hour or so, I'd rubbed my dick so raw with the wash cloth that I faked an orgasm just so I could hang up.  She begged me to call back later because, as she claimed, she'd never talked to anyone like me before.  I was a stallion.

Well, two weeks later, the credit card bill came.  That little call cost roughly $700.  And the bill line wasn't discrete: "1-900-HOT-SEXX Adult Entertainment."  My dad was livid, but didn't suspect me right off the bat.  He called the credit card company to dispute the charg ...


My evening is complete. Spentmiles, I love you.
 
2013-02-13 11:11:50 PM  
From the first sentance of the article:  "....showed the twisted relationship the pair had before Arias killed him."

So she's convicted?

I'm pretty sure she did it, actually, with the evidence of the camera memory card in the laundry with the blood / bleach soaked sheets.... but still ABC, isn't there some journalism missing here?
 
TWX
2013-02-14 03:17:17 AM  

asciibaron: i know the rule is to never put your dick in crazy, but i think i have accidently broken that rule - i hope i don't end up murdered to death too.

this chick on trial is much further down the crazy road though.


We've all broken that rule.  This is one rule that most men have to learn the hard way.  Usually it results in a lost apartment deposit or destroyed property or a crazy woman showing up at one's known hangouts to attempt to reconnect after being dumped, and for many men escalates to monthly payments through the state for the next eighteen years, but every now and then some woman goes all Basic Instinct on someone.

You know who's grateful to this crazy woman right now?  Casey Anthony.  With Jodi Whatshername in the news right now, Ms. Anthony is literally yesterday's news, finally.
 
2013-02-14 09:26:34 AM  

boozehat: From the first sentance of the article:  "....showed the twisted relationship the pair had before Arias killed him."

So she's convicted?

I'm pretty sure she did it, actually, with the evidence of the camera memory card in the laundry with the blood / bleach soaked sheets.... but still ABC, isn't there some journalism missing here?


She admitted to killing him. She's going for battered woman/self defense.
 
2013-02-14 10:11:16 AM  

ScouserDuck: boozehat: From the first sentance of the article:  "....showed the twisted relationship the pair had before Arias killed him."

So she's convicted?

I'm pretty sure she did it, actually, with the evidence of the camera memory card in the laundry with the blood / bleach soaked sheets.... but still ABC, isn't there some journalism missing here?

She admitted to killing him. She's going for battered woman/self defense.


Ahhh.  I didn't realize she admitted it.  I thought she claimed she was at the house but wasn't the actual killer.   This chick is nuts.
 
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