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(The Atlantic)   Here's how Marco Rubio wrote his SOTU response: condense a Milton Friedman book into a Reader's Digest article, replace with 5th grade level words, focus test passages with conservative octogenarians, and stir with unsourced Ronald Reagan quotes   (theatlantic.com) divider line 122
    More: Amusing, Reader's Digest, Marco Rubio, Milton Friedman, Ronald Reagan, focus groups, fifth grade, educational stage, Jolly Ranchers  
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2334 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Feb 2013 at 10:57 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 09:10:15 AM
Rubio's speech was weaksauce.

It was hilarious watching the GOP's rising star lose steam and start to fall.

They don't really have a deep bench at present and now their rookie VIP failed in his first big at bat.

/I'm lousy at sports metaphors but you know what I mean.
 
2013-02-13 09:22:24 AM
I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.
 
2013-02-13 09:29:11 AM
He's one of the 22 Senate "no" votes (all coming from Republican men) for renewing the Violence Against Women Act. There was no way I was going to listen to him, since he has lost all credibility as someone who wants to help American citizens.
 
2013-02-13 09:33:19 AM
I don't know what Rubio was trying to do with that speech.  it was dumbed down whiny bullshiat....plus he was sweating bullets the whole time and clearly looked uncomfortable the entire time.  yes, we get that he didn't agree with Obama.  that's expected.  But Rubio (and by extension the GOP) didn't offer any alternatives to the President's ideas.  while Obama's speech wasn't his best (even though he did have his moments), Rubio's speech was far, far worse and had no point to it.
 
2013-02-13 09:36:58 AM

Weaver95: Rubio's speech was far, far worse and had no point to it.


Well he *did* talk about a Balanced Budget Amendment.

Oh, wait. You said "point". Never mind.

/No points for anyone who champions the dangerous, overly simple BBA.
 
2013-02-13 09:40:04 AM

quatchi: Weaver95: Rubio's speech was far, far worse and had no point to it.

Well he *did* talk about a Balanced Budget Amendment.

Oh, wait. You said "point". Never mind.

/No points for anyone who champions the dangerous, overly simple BBA.


I couldn't figure out what alternative Rubio was trying to offer.  the speech came across as Republican 'word salad' of talking points and catch phrases.  sure, it was syntactically correct but it made no sense.
 
2013-02-13 09:53:23 AM

quatchi: Rubio's speech was weaksauce.

It was hilarious watching the GOP's rising star lose steam and start to fall.

They don't really have a deep bench at present and now their rookie VIP failed in his first big at bat.

/I'm lousy at sports metaphors but you know what I mean.


They thought he would hit a homerun, but his layup left the puck wide right of the goal post and buried deep in the bunker.
 
2013-02-13 10:13:31 AM
Also - fark black people. Haha, you don't matter.
 
2013-02-13 10:13:42 AM

Weaver95: quatchi: Weaver95: Rubio's speech was far, far worse and had no point to it.

Well he *did* talk about a Balanced Budget Amendment.

Oh, wait. You said "point". Never mind.

/No points for anyone who champions the dangerous, overly simple BBA.

I couldn't figure out what alternative Rubio was trying to offer.  the speech came across as Republican 'word salad' of talking points and catch phrases.  sure, it was syntactically correct but it made no sense.


When you have to rebutt "working together" and "economic prosperity" and "closing loopholes" and "bring our boys home" there's not a lot to work with. I dunno if folks thought he was going to be a rising star, so much as dutifully falling on his sword. He did it, he did it with everyone watching, and so he'll get points for doing what he was told, just not a lot for doing it well, with any style, panache, or skill...
 
2013-02-13 10:17:23 AM
hubiestubert:
When you have to rebutt "working together" and "economic prosperity" and "closing loopholes" and "bring our boys home" there's not a lot to work with. I dunno if folks thought he was going to be a rising star, so much as dutifully falling on his sword. He did it, he did it with everyone watching, and so he'll get points for doing what he was told, just not a lot for doing it well, with any style, panache, or skill...

here's something else - Obama was clearly enjoying the hell outta his speech last night.  Rubio looked uncomfortable, nervous and shaky.  Given that TV is a visual media, how you look and what you project through the medium is almost as important as what you say.  in that respect, Rubio did very badly indeed.  add in a speech that wasn't very coherent and it adds up to a loss.  not a massive total crushing failure mind you but it clearly wasn't a win either.
 
2013-02-13 10:35:00 AM

vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.


It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.
 
2013-02-13 10:45:12 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.


The only thing I can think of is that the thermostat must have been broke in that room and stuck at 90.  I was half expecting him to stop mid-speech and yell at someone off camera to open a farking window or at least turn on a fan.
 
2013-02-13 10:46:53 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.


Of course it is. The only reason so many voted for Obama is because he's black so it stands to reason as many will vote for Rubio because he's Hispanic. You know, just like when every woman voted for McCain because Palin was on the ticket.
 
2013-02-13 10:52:34 AM
Nina_Hartley's_Ass:
The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

more and more I find myself staring at the GOP and marveling at just how surreal they've become.  I keep thinking that this is all part of some clever plan, that the REAL Republican party is gonna pop in from offstage and do something all james bond villain-ish.
 
2013-02-13 10:58:23 AM

Weaver95: Nina_Hartley's_Ass:
The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

more and more I find myself staring at the GOP and marveling at just how surreal they've become.  I keep thinking that this is all part of some clever plan, that the REAL Republican party is gonna pop in from offstage and do something all james bond villain-ish.


Maybe they're just stalling for time until their clone-Reagan is mature enough to lead the country?
 
2013-02-13 10:59:48 AM

Weaver95: Nina_Hartley's_Ass:
The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

more and more I find myself staring at the GOP and marveling at just how surreal they've become.  I keep thinking that this is all part of some clever plan, that the REAL Republican party is gonna pop in from offstage and do something all james bond villain-ish.


The joke will be on them if the rumors are true that Hilary is running in 2016.
 
2013-02-13 11:00:17 AM
It wasn't as funny as Pyush "Bobby" Jindal appearing in an ill-fitting suit and talking like Mister Rogers.

"Americans can do anything!"

"volcano detectors?"
 
2013-02-13 11:01:22 AM
the REAL Republican party is gonna pop in from offstage and do something all james bond villain-ish.

 Octopussy

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-13 11:01:31 AM
i.picasion.com
 
2013-02-13 11:02:21 AM
It really looked like one of the videos kidnappers release of their victims to keep the family interested in paying the ransom.
 
2013-02-13 11:02:37 AM

Weaver95: Nina_Hartley's_Ass:
The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

more and more I find myself staring at the GOP and marveling at just how surreal they've become.  I keep thinking that this is all part of some clever plan, that the REAL Republican party is gonna pop in from offstage and do something all james bond villain-ish.


This. The thing is that when Reagan came along and taught them you can win on image, they responded by believing that you need nothing else. They have utterly nothing at all, except to please the fringe base and the funding sources.
 
2013-02-13 11:02:55 AM
How did Rand Paul do?
 
2013-02-13 11:04:08 AM

Weaver95: But Rubio (and by extension the GOP) didn't offer any alternatives to the President's ideas.


Small gubmint.

It's like gubmint, only smaller.
 
2013-02-13 11:04:11 AM

Kome: He's one of the 22 Senate "no" votes (all coming from Republican men) for renewing the Violence Against Women Act. There was no way I was going to listen to him, since he has lost all credibility as someone who wants to help American citizens.


Rubio is your typical sack of crap obstructionist Republican.  If he's a 'rising star' they need to do better.
 
2013-02-13 11:04:14 AM
So Rubio drank water.

Did Rand Paul not vomit all over himself, which is why Rubio's hydration is important?
 
2013-02-13 11:05:37 AM
AeAe:
Rubio is your typical sack of crap obstructionist Republican.  If he's a 'rising star' they need to do better.

or not.
 
2013-02-13 11:05:57 AM

Dr Dreidel: So Rubio drank water.

Did Rand Paul not vomit all over himself, which is why Rubio's hydration is important?


I'm gathering that the speech was forgettable other than awkward delivery, and Rand was... Well he was a Paul.
 
2013-02-13 11:06:04 AM

Krymson Tyde: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

Of course it is. The only reason so many voted for Obama is because he's black so it stands to reason as many will vote for Rubio because he's Hispanic. You know, just like when every woman voted for McCain because Palin was on the ticket.


A coworker of mine said that being a minority is more of an advantage than disadvantage in politics. He couldn't explain why whites are still overrepresented, or why women don't have equal seats to men.

On the bright side, he admits he never follows politics and doesn't vote, but he still says he is sure Obama is a terrible pres.
 
2013-02-13 11:06:25 AM
Neither side ever comes across well in the speeches after the state of the union.
 
2013-02-13 11:06:41 AM
After the way everyone played up the water thing, I was disappointed to see the actual clip.. I thought he chugged it or something.
 
2013-02-13 11:06:55 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.


It looks like a panic attack
 
2013-02-13 11:06:57 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.


That's a classy move.  He should have taken a bite out of a sandwich while he was at it.
 
2013-02-13 11:08:30 AM
thegrio.files.wordpress.com

He was quite articulate for a Mexican.

thedailybanter.com

I'm...I'm Cuban, Mr. Voter.

www.threefingersofpolitics.com

The people that tried to nukeuler us?!
 
2013-02-13 11:08:35 AM

MFAWG: Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.

It looks like a panic attack


yup.
 
2013-02-13 11:08:38 AM

Weaver95: AeAe:
Rubio is your typical sack of crap obstructionist Republican.  If he's a 'rising star' they need to do better.

or not.


Rubio is the Cuban Paul Ryan.
 
2013-02-13 11:09:00 AM

Philip Francis Queeg: How did Rand Paul do?


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Hey everybody, I made a speech too!  For the Tea Party!
Anybody want to talk about that!
Guys?
Hello?
 
2013-02-13 11:09:50 AM
It was actually vodka.
 
2013-02-13 11:09:57 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: Philip Francis Queeg: How did Rand Paul do?

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 275x183]

Hey everybody, I made a speech too!  For the Tea Party!
Anybody want to talk about that!
Guys?
Hello?


That guy's an asshole.  I do like his support of legalized hemp tho.
 
2013-02-13 11:10:58 AM
look, all Rubio had to do was show up and give a somewhat coherent speech that said 'we disagree with the President and here's why: point one, point two, point three. thanks and good night'.  instead he wandered around with incoherent talking points and looked like he had a panic attack in the middle of his rambling incoherent word salad brain stroke of a speech.
 
2013-02-13 11:11:38 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: vernonFL: I didn't even see Rubio's speech, but the only thing the internets are talking about is that he drank water during the speech.

It's pretty impressive.

The GOP and apparently Rubio himself think being Hispanic is enough.


And it's going to be completely hilarious when they get slapped in the back of the head with the fact that despite the fact that all brown people look alike, there are in fact, significant differences depending on where they're from.

I personally am hoping that it happens during a Puerto Rican pride parade in NYC when someone announces Rubio as 'a Hispanic - just like YOU!'
 
2013-02-13 11:12:18 AM
Listening to Glenn Beck, didnt notice it at first but he pointed out you can hear someone, possibly camera man say "UH OH" right when he went to grab the water. Awesome.
 
2013-02-13 11:12:58 AM

Waldo Pepper: Neither side ever comes across well in the speeches after the state of the union.


Both sides are bad (with response speeches) ?

That's...unique.
 
2013-02-13 11:13:51 AM
I can picture the GOP think tank:

"but we put up an Indian guy, a black man and now a Latino, why isn't any of this working for us?!?"
 
2013-02-13 11:15:09 AM

NateGrey: Waldo Pepper: Neither side ever comes across well in the speeches after the state of the union.

Both sides are bad (with response speeches) ?

That's...unique.


Yeah.. Didn't you know?  it's SOTU, then Republican response, then Democrat response.
 
2013-02-13 11:18:07 AM

NateGrey: Waldo Pepper: Neither side ever comes across well in the speeches after the state of the union.

Both sides are bad (with response speeches) ?

That's...unique.


you got me, i was so trying to be unique and cool. Your response truly shows the correct way to be unique. I must take note and remember to more unique in the future as it appears this is of utmost importance to you.
 
2013-02-13 11:19:09 AM

Weaver95: look, all Rubio had to do was show up and give a somewhat coherent speech that said 'we disagree with the President and here's why: point one, point two, point three. thanks and good night'.  instead he wandered around with incoherent talking points and looked like he had a panic attack in the middle of his rambling incoherent word salad brain stroke of a speech.


"I hate government!  Except for Medicare.  I hate all government, except for Medicare.  And Social Security.  OK, aside from Medicare and Social Security, I hate everything about the government.  And student loans.  Medicare, Social Security and student loans, you're ok.  The rest of government, bad.  Just bad.  Except the military.  Wait, let me start again."
 
2013-02-13 11:20:32 AM
The content of the speech is irrelevant. I could easily pick it apart, but I don't have to, because the person giving it was clearly not ready for prime time.

I was joking when I said I he might Jindel himself, but apparently, I can see the future!
 
2013-02-13 11:21:08 AM

Mentat: Weaver95: look, all Rubio had to do was show up and give a somewhat coherent speech that said 'we disagree with the President and here's why: point one, point two, point three. thanks and good night'.  instead he wandered around with incoherent talking points and looked like he had a panic attack in the middle of his rambling incoherent word salad brain stroke of a speech.

"I hate government!  Except for Medicare.  I hate all government, except for Medicare.  And Social Security.  OK, aside from Medicare and Social Security, I hate everything about the government.  And student loans.  Medicare, Social Security and student loans, you're ok.  The rest of government, bad.  Just bad.  Except the military.  Wait, let me start again."


You forgot the Interstate Highway System.
 
2013-02-13 11:21:51 AM
static01.mediaite.com
"I don't always drink water.
But when I do,
it's in the middle of the biggest moment of my career.
"





(Credit: "Greedy 5% Plutocrats own 74% $" at http://www.mediaite.com/tv/historic-thirst-marco-rubio-becomes-his-ow n -state-of-the-union-drinking-game/ )
 
2013-02-13 11:21:54 AM

Jake Havechek: I can picture the GOP think tank:

"but we put up an Indian guy, a black man and now a Latino, why isn't any of this working for us?!?"


they forgot the construction guy?
 
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