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(NBC News)   Today's safety device that will actually kill you, defile your corpse, and do lewd things to your mother is: Airbags   (nbcnews.com) divider line 56
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6139 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2013 at 8:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-13 07:02:42 AM
Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?
 
2013-02-13 07:11:39 AM
Seeing as I often don't set off the passenger air bag detector in many cars, I'm getting a kick out of this...

/duct taped pillows to the face provide the same protection, right?
 
2013-02-13 07:26:14 AM
Not on that list: When they cause the LAPD to shoot you in the face
 
2013-02-13 07:34:49 AM
Haven't we been going back and forth on the "are airbags safe" issue for a really long time?  Seems like we've had this discussion before more than once.

/airbags are still a hell of a lot better than no airbags
 
2013-02-13 07:52:34 AM

quatchi: Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?


Alternatively

snl.jt.org
 
2013-02-13 07:58:02 AM
I once activated my front impact collision detection system, just to watch a man die.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 08:37:33 AM
That has led to a substantial reduction in injuries and fatalities when the bags have worked as expected - and, according to federal safety regulators, helped save 1,000s of lives annually.

"Air bags in particular play a central role in keeping drivers and passengers safe in the event of a crash," said Administrator David Strickland of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.


As a general rule NHTSA statistics are lies. I believe aggregates of how many people are reported to have died from all causes (30,000 to 40,000 per year), but not the agency's decisions about causes. What I'm told they did with airbags was require high level review before counting an airbag death as an airbag death, while automatically crediting a fraction of a life saved per deployment.
 
2013-02-13 08:46:35 AM
So glad my vehicle is a 1984 model...no airbags.

/or OBD II
 
2013-02-13 08:48:02 AM

quatchi: Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?


Yeah, but then you'd have guys driving around, intentionally causing accidents just to motorboat their dashboards......and it would be funny.......wait, where was I going with this?
 
2013-02-13 08:49:25 AM

r0cj07p: quatchi: Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?

Yeah, but then you'd have guys driving around, intentionally causing accidents just to motorboat their dashboards......and it would be funny.......wait, where was I going with this?


Yes, I'd like to go ahead and spring for the Salma Hayek front impact safety package, please.  Can't spend too much on peace of mind.
 
2013-02-13 08:50:13 AM
miss diminutive: Is it wrong that I read all your posts in Kristin Chenoweth's voice?
 
2013-02-13 08:50:27 AM
I saw my airbag once when a car slid in front of me totaling both cars.  I never want to see it again but it saved me lots of damage.
 
2013-02-13 08:52:05 AM

miss diminutive: /duct taped pillows to the face provide the same protection, right?


No, but that's how I can actually get laid on occasion.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 08:53:58 AM
/duct taped pillows to the face provide the same protection, right?

The original passive restraint regulations could be satisfied with a couple inches of padding like you might find in a gymnasium. I don't know whether that is an option under current rules.
 
2013-02-13 08:55:48 AM

mxypltz: miss diminutive: Is it wrong that I read all your posts in Kristin Chenoweth's voice?


Seeing as I sound exactly like Rosie O'Donnell, I see that as an improvement.

/not really
 
2013-02-13 09:00:07 AM

Lost Thought 00: Fine, smash your head on the dash. That's one less Libertarian wasting resources for the rest of us.


You must be a riot at parties.
 
2013-02-13 09:00:25 AM
My solution is to not try driving through other solid objects.  I've never really understood why people do this.  I guess people get bored.
 
2013-02-13 09:01:51 AM
Well to be honest, I see a lot of drivers that probably should have a hockey helmet at all times, heck, even when they are walking.

But yeah, I do my best to not test the theories of having faulty airbags by not getting into accidents.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 09:02:45 AM
My solution is to not try driving through other solid objects. I've never really understood why people do this. I guess people get bored.

That snowbank looked so fluffy and inviting.
 
2013-02-13 09:03:58 AM
Headline: "When Airbags Kill"

Article: "Airbags save thousands per year, but it is believed that one fault kiled two people that were likely already in a traffic accident."

Perhaps airbag design wouldn't have to be so aggressive if our DOT standards for vehicle passenger safety weren't based on unbelted passenger protection.  Yes, all the yutzes that refuse to wear seatbelts have effectively dictated that our cars must carry all this weight in additional airbags and crash barriers to protect them in elaborate ways that the seatbelt would quite simply were it just used.  Every one of our cars is wasting gas on every mile to protect morans that won't ever ride in our car.
 
2013-02-13 09:05:35 AM
InTFA: recalls to fix faulty airbags, and improvements to airbag deployment. EVERYBODY PANIC! About the problem that's already being addressed.
 
2013-02-13 09:08:09 AM

quatchi: Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?



i48.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-13 09:10:44 AM
I've often suggested that if NTSB wants to improve driver safety, they need to start with the attitude of the driver.  Surrounding the driver with airbags is exactly the wrong thing to do.  it makes the driver feel invincible so he will take risks that someone less secure would not take.  If NTSB really wants drivers to practice safe, defensive driving; the airbag system should be replaced with a large, stainless steel spike that, in the event of a head-on collision, would be deployed through the driver's chest.
 
2013-02-13 09:13:16 AM
The charge that sets off modern air bags is much smaller than the early ones. They've figured out the bag can be smaller, and doesn't need to deploy as quickly as they first though. Some of the modern bags can do multi stage deployment so it's a smaller less forceful bang if its a slower speed crash.

But, they are still basically a small bomb that goes off on a crash. So if you sit was to close or have something between you and the bag when it goes off its going to cause a problem. Also they're timed and designed for people to be wearin seatbelts. If you aren't wearing a seat belt there's a chance you'll be to close when the bag deploys an it'll force you back rather than cushion your face.

This reminds me I need to deactivate my girlfriends mothers air bag. She's so short she is basically hugging the steering wheel and there isn't nearly enough room for the bag to deploy.
 
2013-02-13 09:16:51 AM
My last new vehicle kept lighting up the airbag light, so I kept taking it back to the dealer.  Something about the holder the bag sits in was not right, and the mechanics couldn't get it right.  Anyway, after a few times, some genius decides just to disconnect the relay so the dashboard light stays off.  He gets the whole thing put back together, and drives it out of the bay for me to drive off.  Just as he brakes in front of me, it deploys.  His manager was not happy.
 
2013-02-13 09:17:02 AM

Mr. Right: I've often suggested that if NTSB wants to improve driver safety, they need to start with the attitude of the driver.  Surrounding the driver with airbags is exactly the wrong thing to do.  it makes the driver feel invincible so he will take risks that someone less secure would not take.  If NTSB really wants drivers to practice safe, defensive driving; the airbag system should be replaced with a large, stainless steel spike that, in the event of a head-on collision, would be deployed through the driver's chest.


Only for at fault drivers though.  I'd be okay with a system where if the onboard GPS detects you are speeding or following too closely at the moment the accident occurred, then the airbags don't deploy, and the seatbelt cam disengages.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 09:17:20 AM
Perhaps airbag design wouldn't have to be so aggressive if our DOT standards for vehicle passenger safety weren't based on unbelted passenger protection.

If everybody wore seat belts we never would have had an airbag mandate.
 
2013-02-13 09:27:12 AM
It IS February sweeps time...
 
2013-02-13 09:28:34 AM

Mr. Right: I've often suggested that if NTSB wants to improve driver safety, they need to start with the attitude of the driver.  Surrounding the driver with airbags is exactly the wrong thing to do.  it makes the driver feel invincible so he will take risks that someone less secure would not take.  If NTSB really wants drivers to practice safe, defensive driving; the airbag system should be replaced with a large, stainless steel spike that, in the event of a head-on collision, would be deployed through the driver's chest.


I'm a leaf on the wind...
 
2013-02-13 09:30:26 AM
Why don't the airbags deploy on the OUTSIDE of the car - like a massive beach-ball of protection?
 
2013-02-13 09:30:51 AM

ThrobblefootSpectre: Mr. Right: I've often suggested that if NTSB wants to improve driver safety, they need to start with the attitude of the driver.  Surrounding the driver with airbags is exactly the wrong thing to do.  it makes the driver feel invincible so he will take risks that someone less secure would not take.  If NTSB really wants drivers to practice safe, defensive driving; the airbag system should be replaced with a large, stainless steel spike that, in the event of a head-on collision, would be deployed through the driver's chest.

Only for at fault drivers though.  I'd be okay with a system where if the onboard GPS detects you are speeding or following too closely at the moment the accident occurred, then the airbags don't deploy, and the seatbelt cam disengages.


Given the nature of current technology, the things you suggest are entirely possible.  My suggestion originated about the same time airbags did, thus it is very much an analog suggestion.

However it is done, I would like to see Darwin be able to work unhindered by outside, do-gooder influences.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 09:36:08 AM
Why don't the airbags deploy on the OUTSIDE of the car - like a massive beach-ball of protection?

Soon they will. We had a thread about it recently. When the pedestrian lands on your hood an airbag will explode to launch him into space.
 
2013-02-13 09:39:49 AM
Funbags you say?

i575.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 09:41:29 AM

quatchi: Accidents would be a lot more fun if airbags looked like a pair of giant boobies when they inflate rather than just a boring, plain old bag.

/Why doesn't Detroit think about these things the way I do?


Then they wouldn't be airbags, they'd be funbags.
 
2013-02-13 09:51:02 AM

ZAZ: If everybody wore seat belts we never would have had an airbag mandate.


Airbags are still a very useful addition to the safety suite on cars, and do a good job at protecting even belted passengers from side impacts and higher-speed frontal crashes as well.  The knee-guard airbags are a good idea, too, because surviving a crash is terrific but having crushed legs merely because you were slouching at the time someone hit you really, really sucks.  They protect people driving like assholes, too, of course, but to not make omelets you have to not crack a few eggs.
 
2013-02-13 09:53:51 AM
Today's safety device that will actually kill you, defile your corpse, and do lewd things to your mother's Airbags is: me.


FTFY.
 
2013-02-13 09:54:50 AM
The argument that safety devices in a car make people drive less carefully is exactly as valid as the argument that insurance makes people drive less carefully.

And we all know uninsured drivers NEVER get into accidents.  Right?
 
2013-02-13 10:03:07 AM
So, in summary:

Airbags fails to deploy.
Passenger dies as a result of no airbag.
Therefore, airbag killed passenger?

Is that about the gist of the article?
 
2013-02-13 10:03:13 AM

pearls before swine: The argument that safety devices in a car make people drive less carefully is exactly as valid as the argument that insurance makes people drive less carefully.

And we all know uninsured drivers NEVER get into accidents.  Right?


Well it is true the safer people think cars are, the less carefully they drive, but the effect is much less than the extra safety you gain from the safety devices, so overall it is a big net benefit still.
 
2013-02-13 10:31:59 AM
i34.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-13 10:36:31 AM
ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2013-02-13 10:44:32 AM
I can't get enough of this "airbag stunt" clip.

The poor sap instantly goes from "confident smiling cocky" douchebag to "in a world of pain" douchebag.

So many levels of lulz.

*Douchebag with a douchebage flavour-saver goatee abomination.

*Superb aerial work.

*Pain-maximising landing. Splat!

*Unable to walk to a nearby chair without assistance.

*Two fawning females fawning as he is assisted to a chair.

But mainly the fact that he looks like he hasn't played much contact sport in his life, and he wasn't taking the pain at all very well. I reckon a lot of blokes would have brushed themselves off with a forced smile and chugged a beer or something.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=44d_1353163871
 
2013-02-13 10:45:16 AM

born_yesterday: I once activated my front impact collision detection system, just to watch a man die.


Hey, didn't I meet you in Reno?
 
2013-02-13 10:47:58 AM

Mr. Right: I've often suggested that if NTSB wants to improve driver safety, they need to start with the attitude of the driver.  Surrounding the driver with airbags is exactly the wrong thing to do.  it makes the driver feel invincible so he will take risks that someone less secure would not take.  If NTSB really wants drivers to practice safe, defensive driving; the airbag system should be replaced with a large, stainless steel spike that, in the event of a head-on collision, would be deployed through the driver's chest.


Confectionery business not work out for you?  Sales plummeted?
 
2013-02-13 10:48:51 AM
ts1.mm.bing.net
 
2013-02-13 10:49:13 AM

Big Ramifications: I can't get enough of this "airbag stunt" clip.

The poor sap instantly goes from "confident smiling cocky" douchebag to "in a world of pain" douchebag.

So many levels of lulz.

*Douchebag with a douchebage flavour-saver goatee abomination.

*Superb aerial work.

*Pain-maximising landing. Splat!

*Unable to walk to a nearby chair without assistance.

*Two fawning females fawning as he is assisted to a chair.

But mainly the fact that he looks like he hasn't played much contact sport in his life, and he wasn't taking the pain at all very well. I reckon a lot of blokes would have brushed themselves off with a forced smile and chugged a beer or something.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=44d_1353163871

~
~
The fah? Picture and link worked fine in preview.....

LINK

i48.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-13 11:49:48 AM
Thanks Big Ramifications, laughing at idiots self imposed pain always makes my day. And landing on your a$$ from about a 7' drop had to hurt like hell.
 
2013-02-13 12:06:52 PM
"It's a complex system and that complexity implies more components," Honda spokesman Chris Martin told USA Today.

Sounds like something and engineer would say, like "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features."
 
2013-02-13 12:10:12 PM
I remember many many moons ago that requiring airbags caused an unintended increase in insurance rates...

Seems that before airbags, a passenger would get killed and the insurance company would pay out some money and all would be happy.

After airbags, the same passenger would survive, but would have massive internal injuries. Sure they had internal injuries before, but they were also dead, so no problem... but _now_ the insurance company has to pay for lots and lots of surgery and recovery costs where before it was just the simple lump-sum death benefit...

The net effect was the insurance companies were on the hook for more money so rates had to go up...


be careful what you wish for...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-13 12:15:25 PM
I remember many many moons ago that requiring airbags caused an unintended increase in insurance rates...

Airbags increase insurance costs for property damage. I don't know about injuries.
 
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