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(Kotaku)   Aliens: Colonial Marines will have you praying that it's game over, man   (kotaku.com) divider line 209
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9515 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Feb 2013 at 1:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 11:07:43 AM  
Glad I read this...was planning on picking it up today...no longer interested in it.
 
2013-02-12 11:15:37 AM  

ferretman: Glad I read this...was planning on picking it up today...no longer interested in it.


Me too. Usually I take reviews with a grain of salt, but based on gamerankings, this game is ending up with oceanic levels of salt.
 
2013-02-12 11:38:56 AM  
I was thinking of getting this, really out of hopeful optimism that it wasn't what this review suggested.

To be honest, the video trailer was alarming.  While it had a good theme and well-designed, the reactions the marines had to the aliens had weird timing, and when attention to detail lacks in the marketing, one has to fear the product.
 
2013-02-12 12:06:56 PM  
I can't say I'm surprised. The first installation (the Predator edition) was awful.  Beautiful graphics, but everything else was garbage.  I played it on PC and it felt incredibly clunky and console-ized.  I was especially let down because playing as the Predator was my favorite part of the old AvP game. :-(
 
2013-02-12 01:28:16 PM  
I'll wait for Yahtzee to hate it before I unleash my outrage.
 
2013-02-12 01:28:36 PM  
double ditto...but I may find a way to try it before I buy it.  I read a review of Double Dragon Neon calling it painful and boring, it's a short arcade game but I loved it.
 
2013-02-12 01:29:53 PM  
This guy has it wrong.

All games based off existing IP suck!
 
2013-02-12 01:31:53 PM  
dammitsomuch
 
2013-02-12 01:32:05 PM  
Just used the steam card my grandson gifted me at christmas on it.

It was either that or go paint and sand something.

Still think I made the right choice.
 
2013-02-12 01:33:34 PM  
Well, at least it wasn't Prometheus.
/drops can of gas
 
2013-02-12 01:36:54 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: All games based off existing IP suck!


Batman: Arkham Asylum
GoldenEye
Escape From Butcher Bay
X-Wing Vs. Tie Fighter

A couple of the old Star Wars and X-Men games on the SNES/Genesis/Arcade were good too. The old Simpsons arcade game was great.
 
2013-02-12 01:37:16 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: All games based off existing IP suck!



upload.wikimedia.org
"AHEM."


Though you're not entirely off. Tie-in games, more often than not, suck balls.

I'm starting to think that Gearbox does best when they are working on their own properties. Borderlands 1/2 are awesome (I've got over 150 hours into BL2 and am still loving it), Brothers In Arms was great too. Duke Nuke Forever was horrible, although I think most people knew that it was going to be bad no matter who made it. And now Aliens: Colonial Marines sounds like a dud too.

fark it, just keep churning out Borderlands  games you'll do just fine.
 
2013-02-12 01:41:24 PM  
a 4 hour main story and they have plans for at least 4 DLC content already.... hmmm....
 
2013-02-12 01:42:08 PM  
Wowwwwww... thanks <b>subby</b>.  So glad I didn't preorder this game.
 
2013-02-12 01:42:22 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: a 4 hour main story and they have plans for at least 4 DLC content already.... hmmm....


this post unable to be edited by the department of redundancy department
 
2013-02-12 01:42:52 PM  

YodaBlues: StoPPeRmobile: All games based off existing IP suck!


[upload.wikimedia.org image 256x391]
"AHEM."


Though you're not entirely off. Tie-in games, more often than not, suck balls.

I'm starting to think that Gearbox does best when they are working on their own properties. Borderlands 1/2 are awesome (I've got over 150 hours into BL2 and am still loving it), Brothers In Arms was great too. Duke Nuke Forever was horrible, although I think most people knew that it was going to be bad no matter who made it. And now Aliens: Colonial Marines sounds like a dud too.

fark it, just keep churning out Borderlands  games you'll do just fine.


BL2 the latest DLC I found was pretty weak. Apparently it was outsourced to Treyarch.
Aliens: Colonial Marines campaign was outsourced to Section 8?
 
2013-02-12 01:44:16 PM  
Sorry, I meant Timegate Studios.
 
2013-02-12 01:45:42 PM  

Honest Bender: I can't say I'm surprised. The first installation (the Predator edition) was awful.  Beautiful graphics, but everything else was garbage.  I played it on PC and it felt incredibly clunky and console-ized.  I was especially let down because playing as the Predator was my favorite part of the old AvP game. :-(


Sounds like you just described 90% of FPSs out there.

\heard Dead Space 3 sucks, too
\\thus continuing the EA tradition of taking a great first game and pummeling it into the ground
 
2013-02-12 01:45:47 PM  
Dear Gearbox,

Stop outsourcing.  It's farking up your good name and producing shiatty games.

Your pal,

blue_2501
 
2013-02-12 01:48:05 PM  
The one guy who gave the great review http://www.egmnow.com/articles/reviews/egm-review-aliens-colonial-mar i nes/

And the comments about his review are priceless!
 
2013-02-12 01:49:26 PM  

Don't Lag Me Bro: BL2 the latest DLC I found was pretty weak. Apparently it was outsourced to Treyarch.
Aliens: Colonial Marines campaign was outsourced to Section 8?


I thought it was fine, but I guess it depends on what you mean. I love the game for it's humor and all of the DLC's have been pretty great in that regard, but Mr. Torgue was the funniest goddamn game character ever. I swear the Christ, I haven't laughed that hard at a game since MDK 2. The "arena" focused DLC's are much much weaker though, IMHO. At least Hammerlock gave you a new area to explore and the enemies can be a challenge (SERIOUSLY, FARK YOU ENEMY UPGRADING WITCH DOCTOR.)
 
2013-02-12 01:49:29 PM  

Don't Lag Me Bro: Sorry, I meant Timegate Studios.


I think it was Triptych.

/T words
 
2013-02-12 01:50:34 PM  

Gunderson: The one guy who gave the great review http://www.egmnow.com/articles/reviews/egm-review-aliens-colonial-mar i nes/

And the comments about his review are priceless!


Blocked at work:

The link you are accessing has been blocked by the Barracuda Web Filter because it contains content belonging to the category of: Violence & Terrorism

Guess those fanboys really didn't like that review....
 
2013-02-12 01:52:52 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: a 4 hour main story and they have plans for at least 4 DLC content already.... hmmm....


Yeah really. 4 hours? WTF is up with that?
 
2013-02-12 01:54:10 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: All games based off existing IP suck!


Xmen games tend to be good.

X-men Origins: Wolverine
Marvel vs. Capcom 2
Marvel vs. Capcom 3
X-men Children of the Atom
X-men Arcade
 
2013-02-12 01:54:57 PM  
Yeah, a 4-6 hour main story? No thanks.
 
2013-02-12 01:56:34 PM  

YodaBlues: I'm starting to think that Gearbox does best when they are working on their own properties. Borderlands 1/2 are awesome (I've got over 150 hours into BL2 and am still loving it), Brothers In Arms was great too. Duke Nuke Forever was horrible, although I think most people knew that it was going to be bad no matter who made it. And now Aliens: Colonial Marines sounds like a dud too.


Duke Nukem was no original Gearbox content, they just put the existing pieces into a playable game.
 
2013-02-12 01:56:42 PM  

Gunderson: The one guy who gave the great review http://www.egmnow.com/articles/reviews/egm-review-aliens-colonial-mar i nes/

And the comments about his review are priceless!


Wow, I know internet hatred exists but I've never seen it used in such unison.  Pretty entertaining.
 
2013-02-12 02:08:02 PM  
The original AvP FPS was the first game that legitimately scared my ass off (as the marine, of course). The lighting (or lack there of) was perfect.

I just watched Angry Joe's 10 reasons why CM was going to kick ass. I wonder if he's now Really Angry Joe.
 
2013-02-12 02:09:20 PM  
I have been jaded with the games that came out recently. Seems like nothing has really been grabbing me recently, other than Planetside 2. I actually installed Mount & Blade: Warband, put in a mod, and have been playing that. That was a good game.
 
2013-02-12 02:13:47 PM  
No surprise there, then.
 
2013-02-12 02:14:20 PM  

PanicMan: YodaBlues: I'm starting to think that Gearbox does best when they are working on their own properties. Borderlands 1/2 are awesome (I've got over 150 hours into BL2 and am still loving it), Brothers In Arms was great too. Duke Nuke Forever was horrible, although I think most people knew that it was going to be bad no matter who made it. And now Aliens: Colonial Marines sounds like a dud too.

Duke Nukem was no original Gearbox content, they just put the existing pieces into a playable game.


I thought the whole purpose of Duke Nukem Forever being released was so we could bask in the glory of how bad it sucked.  I mean it was vaporware since the 1990s.  Gearbox buying it seemed like a purchase driven by morbid curiosity and then they packed up the train wreck they found and shared it with us.  I don't see how anyone can be mad at Gearbox for that.  They released a demo and never really tried to hide the fact it was as bad everyone expected given the age of the game and how many times it changed devs.

/that said I do hope now that a real dev has the IP license to Duke Nukem, a decently designed game is released
//played the demo and picked it up on a Steam sale
/it's a lot more fun if you drink beers and use cheat codes just to power your way through it while basking in the glory of its failure
 
2013-02-12 02:15:02 PM  

degenerate-afro: X-men Origins: Wolverine


I was shocked at how much I liked that game, especially when looking at the horrible source material. I guess because they just said "fark it" and went hard Mature rating. Nothing like watching Wolverine punch through a helicopter cockpit glass, yank the pilot out, and shove his head into the spinning blades. Also the health regen system was pretty cool in that it actually showed the damage on him and then his body healing.

Starhawk: Wowwwwww... thanks <b>subby</b>.  So glad I didn't preorder this game.


No problem. I was so pumped about this game, but when I looked yesterday and saw no reviews, I was worried. A little further reading showed that they had put some type of embargo on the reviews until release day, and one review slipped out giving it a 4/10. I knew it wasn't gonna be a good sign after that. A quick news search on Google for "Aliens review" confirmed that this morning.

/In space, no one can hear you scream for your money back
 
2013-02-12 02:16:13 PM  

MrSteve007: Yeah, a 4-6 hour main story? No thanks.


I can spend 4-6 hours in Skyrim just shooting giants in the dick
 
2013-02-12 02:16:48 PM  
don't dare to share criticisms with randy pitchford though, he might go all nerd-rage on you and have fanbois white knight him for hours for it on twitter.

I liked BL2 but the latest DLC was a massive stinker in terms of storyline and length. They could have done a lot better than what they gave us. When he asked for opinions on the DLC on twitter, he blew up at people for even mild criticisms.

Then he recently did a full reversal on what the SHIFT program does (it is one of the ways they track character and game progress of players), and his fanatics went apeshiat on someone who pointed it out, using quotes direct from pitchford that contradicted his recent statements that SHIFT does not collect any data.

Paired with the fact gearbox is treating BL2 like some sort of MMO instead of a shooter with fun elements added to it, and I fear for what BL3 will be like.
 
2013-02-12 02:17:05 PM  
I just picked up the latest XCOM game, I'll be sticking with that for my alien killing needs.
 
2013-02-12 02:17:38 PM  

Treygreen13: I have been jaded with the games that came out recently. Seems like nothing has really been grabbing me recently, other than Planetside 2. I actually installed Mount & Blade: Warband, put in a mod, and have been playing that. That was a good game.


Half the stuff I want has crippling DRM (Sim City 5 with that Origin garbage).  The other half is a shiatty port that was clearly designed for a console and the PC UI is an ugly after thought that was slapped on.

/I'm still working my way through Skyrim
//or playing GTA San Andreas when I just want senseless violence
 
2013-02-12 02:24:25 PM  

ha-ha-guy: Treygreen13: I have been jaded with the games that came out recently. Seems like nothing has really been grabbing me recently, other than Planetside 2. I actually installed Mount & Blade: Warband, put in a mod, and have been playing that. That was a good game.

Half the stuff I want has crippling DRM (Sim City 5 with that Origin garbage).  The other half is a shiatty port that was clearly designed for a console and the PC UI is an ugly after thought that was slapped on.

/I'm still working my way through Skyrim
//or playing GTA San Andreas when I just want senseless violence


Yeah, until there is a work-around for that nearly always on DRM for the new sim city I will be passing it by. As nice as the new version looks, I refuse to buy a game that won't work in solo-play without a persistent (or nearly so) network connection.
 
2013-02-12 02:25:28 PM  
 
2013-02-12 02:28:26 PM  

thecpt: Gunderson: The one guy who gave the great review http://www.egmnow.com/articles/reviews/egm-review-aliens-colonial-mar i nes/

And the comments about his review are priceless!

Wow, I know internet hatred exists but I've never seen it used in such unison.  Pretty entertaining.


Well, his review is either dishonest or incompetent.  If it was a pure opinion piece, it could be forgiven.  Perhaps he really enjoyed the game.  There are plenty of crap games (as well as movies and music) that I really do like.  But reviewers are expected to be objective about how this compares to other modern competitors, how responsive and and useful the AI is, sound and graphical quality, etc.  And he failed in most all of these areas.  People are slamming him because his review does not realistically reflect the quality of the game in the modern environment, and it's amplified by their disappointment at what should have been a good title.
 
2013-02-12 02:28:42 PM  
That's 1 review so far.  I'll check the other reviews before making up my mind.
 
2013-02-12 02:28:43 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Everything that's wrong with Aliens: Colonial Marines in a single gif


Come on, now. I'm sure there's context to that scene. That Alien appears to have just left the Politics tab.
 
2013-02-12 02:30:09 PM  
After watching the trailer I am not surprised by this in the slightest.
 
2013-02-12 02:31:20 PM  

ha-ha-guy: Treygreen13: I have been jaded with the games that came out recently. Seems like nothing has really been grabbing me recently, other than Planetside 2. I actually installed Mount & Blade: Warband, put in a mod, and have been playing that. That was a good game.

Half the stuff I want has crippling DRM (Sim City 5 with that Origin garbage).  The other half is a shiatty port that was clearly designed for a console and the PC UI is an ugly after thought that was slapped on.

/I'm still working my way through Skyrim
//or playing GTA San Andreas when I just want senseless violence


Oh man the shiatty port from a console just kills me. The way those run like crap is part of the reason I just don't buy games on PC unless I know it's a PC GAME.

The last straw (for me) was the new Hitman game. Granted, I had high expectations (that series is one of my favorite) but the game just wildly disappointed me. It was a port, it made no sense, it relied far too heavily on the cover/hiding your face mechanic, and the pacing was just... glacial. Towards the end of the game I was just running around icing everyone who even bothered to stop me because I was so sick of anyone wearing clothes like mine calling every guard in the area. Sure, I could have spent 40 hours in the game hiding behind sofas and tossing coffee mugs into the darkness, but why? It simply wasn't fun.
 
rpm
2013-02-12 02:33:09 PM  

PsyLord: That's 1 review so far.  I'll check the other reviews before making up my mind.


The highest non EGM score on Metacritic is 65.

From one of those reviews: "It makes me wonder: did Gearbox actually sit down and watch the Alien movies?"
 
2013-02-12 02:34:08 PM  

PsyLord: That's 1 review so far.  I'll check the other reviews before making up my mind.


Hit Metacritic.  Pretty much every review has been unfavourable, except for The Guardian, and I'm not convinced about their video game reporting.

I wanted this game to be good, but damn-near every review has eviscerated it.
 
2013-02-12 02:34:57 PM  
 www.arcade-history.com


Oh well.  If you're looking for a badass Alien vs. Predator game, guess you'll have to stick with the Capcom beat 'em up.
 
2013-02-12 02:36:35 PM  

whizbangthedirtfarmer: Honest Bender: I can't say I'm surprised. The first installation (the Predator edition) was awful.  Beautiful graphics, but everything else was garbage.  I played it on PC and it felt incredibly clunky and console-ized.  I was especially let down because playing as the Predator was my favorite part of the old AvP game. :-(

Sounds like you just described 90% of FPSs out there.

\heard Dead Space 3 sucks, too
\\thus continuing the EA tradition of taking a great first game and pummeling it into the ground


Did Dead Space get all its love on the console?  Because I bought the PC version on a Steam sale and the controls drove me CRAZY.  Like it seemed that it really wants to be a controller game, not a mouse-and-keyboard game.  Plus the whole "enemies spawning in places I already looked" thing got kind of old.
 
2013-02-12 02:37:36 PM  

PsyLord: That's 1 review so far.  I'll check the other reviews before making up my mind.


Gamerankings

PC - 40.7% (out of 10 reviews)
360 - 55.56% (out of 18 reviews)
PS3 - 49.4% (5 reviews)

For a big publisher, these are not good numbers.
 
2013-02-12 02:37:56 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Everything that's wrong with Aliens: Colonial Marines in a single gif


Jeeze...  Brighten it up a bit, maybe slap in an arctic landscape, and we could have ourselves a baby seal clubbing simulator.

Still...  I'm sure there will be folks who like this game.  I'm sure there are a bunch that I love that everyone else just absolutely hates for really good reasons, and vice-versa.

But, yeah.  This one is definitely on the Try Before I Buy pile.
 
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