If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NPR)   Will President Obama promise more of the same? Will there be an emotional tribute to the recent victims of gun violence? Will the Right overreact? Will Ted Nugent disappear forever? It's your official State of the Union Discussion Thread   (npr.org) divider line 321
    More: Spiffy, State of the Union, President Obama, obama, gun violence, Brennan Center for Justice, second inaugural address, first State of the Union, President Bill Clinton  
•       •       •

1333 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Feb 2013 at 8:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-12 11:06:42 PM
25 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 10:22:00 PM
12 votes:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2013-02-12 10:54:34 PM
9 votes:

Yuri Futanari: Anyone have a link to the Tea Party response?


i236.photobucket.com
2013-02-13 08:28:34 AM
6 votes:
s3.amazonaws.com
 The Legend of Creepy Swallow
2013-02-12 10:46:07 PM
6 votes:

Yuri Futanari: Anyone have a link to the Tea Party response?


i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 09:36:45 PM
6 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 09:25:56 PM
5 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-02-12 08:57:48 PM
5 votes:
The President should come out dressed as this dude:

img687.imageshack.us
2013-02-13 12:53:57 AM
4 votes:

Mentat: Poison Appleseeds: Right now Rubio is in a room somewhere digesting the damage he just did to his political career with this disaster of a speech. He was obviously very nervous and the water grab is already exploding on the internet. I seriously thought he was going to to be the young hotshot politician who was going to demonstrate his skill and swagger to a national audience. What I saw was a guy in a freshman speech class struggling to read a poorly written speech off a teleprompter.

It just stuns me that a group of professional politicians can't find a single person who can stand up there and give a coherent speech without making fools of themselves.  It's like they're in their own heads.


img.photobucket.com

I didn't see the speech but I almost fell off my chair laughing at this pic.

Thanks Rubio, you just Jindalled your way out of the presidency. Nobody wants Tank McFlopsweat with his finger on the button.
paj
2013-02-12 10:57:44 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 10:31:26 PM
4 votes:
hi, i'm mark rubio.  i'll be your corporate shill for tonight.  f*ck you america.  f*ck you in the ear.  tax cuts for the rich. no abortions for anyone ever.  unlimited viagra for men.  no sluts in public.  yay macarena!

thank you and good night.
2013-02-12 09:54:59 PM
4 votes:

somedude210: holy fark. minimum wage increase? Dude definitely doesn't care anymore


Just wait till he says, "...and can you guys just legalize it already?  I'll sign off on that.  I've got a friend who's got some white widow clones in Washington that are just waiting for the White House gardens.  And Michelle, she's got a green thumb.  She can grow some seriously dank nugs."
2013-02-12 09:45:17 PM
4 votes:
"@pattonoswalt: I hope Obama advocates preventing old draft dodgers from farking underage girls so Ted Nugent lunges at him & gets shot. #SOTU"
paj
2013-02-12 09:44:29 PM
4 votes:
"Excuse me while I light my spliff"
i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 09:18:01 PM
4 votes:
sitting behind the president tonight are the following two people:
www.sheilaomalley.comm5.paperblog.com
2013-02-12 09:02:13 PM
4 votes:
Obama: Will all of the war veterans please stand and be recognized? ...Not so fast, Mr. Nugent.
2013-02-13 12:34:09 AM
3 votes:
This is Marco Rubio's Watergate.
paj
2013-02-12 11:23:22 PM
3 votes:

Grand_Moff_Joseph: does anyone have a link to Brian Williams's reaction?


sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2013-02-12 11:01:38 PM
3 votes:

NotThatGirl: Wow, who'd a thunk it? A Republican who swallows....


dumbimages.net
2013-02-12 10:50:13 PM
3 votes:
Wow, who'd a thunk it? A Republican who swallows....
2013-02-12 10:46:29 PM
3 votes:

Yuri Futanari: Anyone have a link to the Tea Party response?


let me sum up:

www.fireflywiki.net
2013-02-12 10:45:07 PM
3 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-12 10:44:34 PM
3 votes:

Fubar: balthan: I never realized how big Rubio's ears were before.

damnit...


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

GUVVAMUNT BAD!!
2013-02-12 10:41:48 PM
3 votes:
Water. Refreshing. Wet.
2013-02-12 10:38:36 PM
3 votes:
"What Obama Said, but less black."
2013-02-12 10:38:26 PM
3 votes:

LaViergeNoire: Polo!

He's swallowing a lot.


Cotton mouth. That boy's coked to the gills.
2013-02-12 10:18:02 PM
3 votes:
Holy crap, Obama had Dorner killed during the SOTU. That's some Michael Corleone shiat right there.
2013-02-12 10:09:43 PM
3 votes:

tricycleracer: GUNS!  Finish an entire bottle of whiskey NOW.


So, shotgun it?
2013-02-12 09:41:46 PM
3 votes:
Obama: take a vote, send me that bill!

Boehner: I f*cking hate you. I hate you, I hate your dog, I hate your party....I hate you.
2013-02-12 09:22:45 PM
3 votes:
Every time Obama mentions facts about the economy, it's like he's 'bad touching' the entire Republican party all at the same time.
2013-02-12 09:08:35 PM
3 votes:

Altitude5280: IAmTheTagTeamChampions: Boehner isn't wearing a green ribbon. Srsly? Dick...

Green clashes with orange.


Particularly in Ireland.
\
2013-02-12 08:09:34 PM
3 votes:
I really hope he addresses America's critical shortage of unfarted bongos. It's one of the major black marks against his administration.
2013-02-12 01:55:23 PM
3 votes:

tenpoundsofcheese: It would be funny if Ted tries to citizen's arrest the illegal immigrant.

seriously, we now invite illegal immigrants to the SOTU?


Well, it seemed only natural since he's giving the speech
2013-02-12 11:32:17 AM
3 votes:
Drinking game rules?

I remember when we were all drawing our drinking words out of the hat during the debates, and some poor bastard drew "small business." I imagine he's blind now.
paj
2013-02-13 12:03:08 AM
2 votes:

Mr. Breeze: doctor wu: That reach-out-for-glass-of-water awkwardness won't get any play on SNL........at all.

I'm looking forward to it.

I'm really surprised his aides didn't have something readily available. That was awkward as hell and now is the only thing the left will focus on.


I was hoping the bottle would float into his hand, thus forever proving the existence of the invisible hand of the market.
2013-02-12 11:54:52 PM
2 votes:

Mentat: Satanic_Hamster: picodenico: "God blessed us with coal!"

No, God didn't you cock.

YOU ARE A F*CKING IDIOT

Did he really say that?  Did he address why all the Muslim nations got all the oil?

There wasn't enough room in America for all of the oil so God put the rest in the Middle East until we could get there.


So God couldn't fit all the oil in the USA?  Then he's not omnipotent.  Why call him God?

CSB: Got to say something similar to a relative when he said something about how "liberals defied God's will by re-electing Obama."  "So a bunch of mortals can get together and trump God's will?  Sounds like you worship a weak little biatch."
2013-02-12 11:39:14 PM
2 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: picodenico: "God blessed us with coal!"

No, God didn't you cock.

YOU ARE A F*CKING IDIOT

Did he really say that?  Did he address why all the Muslim nations got all the oil?


There wasn't enough room in America for all of the oil so God put the rest in the Middle East until we could get there.
2013-02-12 11:12:57 PM
2 votes:

q&d:

i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 11:08:02 PM
2 votes:

Poison Appleseeds: Flying Lasagna Monster: [talkingpointsmemo.com image 660x369]
Someone please shop a baby bottle into his hand


Should be a vuvuzela. Let me play you the song of my people.
2013-02-12 11:01:29 PM
2 votes:
Is it hot in here?
www.jamespreller.com
2013-02-12 11:00:22 PM
2 votes:
talkingpointsmemo.com
2013-02-12 10:55:16 PM
2 votes:
https://www.facebook.com/frankconniffMarco Rubio's #SOTU rebuttal wasn't great, but I'm sure it's soon all be bottled water under the bridge.
2013-02-12 10:48:13 PM
2 votes:
We have to create new taxpayers!
Bow-chicka bow-woooow!
2013-02-12 10:46:00 PM
2 votes:
142.197.29.137:666
2013-02-12 10:44:17 PM
2 votes:
*duck* *chug*. GRAVITAS DESTROYED.
2013-02-12 10:43:10 PM
2 votes:
Maybe when he grows up, he will be a fireman.
2013-02-12 10:42:59 PM
2 votes:

Dougie AXP: Water. Refreshing. Wet.


Win.  SO much win.
I am still laughing at this failure.  GULP!
holy shiatsnacks... i am bombing, who the fark prepared this shiat?
so thirsty.
fark.
FARK.
2013-02-12 10:41:54 PM
2 votes:
Wait...can he be in th drinking game for his own speech?
2013-02-12 10:41:22 PM
2 votes:
|GULP
oh my farking god.
that was terrible....|LY HILARIOUS!
2013-02-12 10:40:59 PM
2 votes:
HE'S MELTING...HE'S MELTING!!
2013-02-12 10:40:55 PM
2 votes:
WILL SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A GLASS OF WATER
2013-02-12 10:40:22 PM
2 votes:
dropping the cancer bomb.
this guy is about as genuine as a somy brablia flat praner teebee.
2013-02-12 10:39:56 PM
2 votes:
Is the heat set to 90 in there?  Stop sweating!
2013-02-12 10:38:53 PM
2 votes:
Did someone smear the inside Rubio's mouth with peanut butter?
2013-02-12 10:33:56 PM
2 votes:
For a party that's all about sanctity of life, they're all for giant abortions in speech responses.
2013-02-12 10:28:45 PM
2 votes:

drew46n2: [sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 640x358]


"Gabby Giffords deserves a vote. The families of Newtown deserve a vote. The families of Aurora deserve a vote," Obama said. "The families of Oak Creek, and Tucson, and Blacksburg, and the countless other communities ripped open by gun violence - they deserve a simple vote."

data.whicdn.com
2013-02-12 10:14:45 PM
2 votes:
aaaaaaand were back to voting? The gun love in was 5 minutes?  Unintelligible yelling is all we got?


OLD LADY TONGUE!!! in out in out in out....senators looking over "is that a negro?"
2013-02-12 10:14:38 PM
2 votes:
Shameless pandering to the 100+ year-old vote.
2013-02-12 10:14:17 PM
2 votes:
desiline!

everybody chug an old fashioned.
2013-02-12 10:12:35 PM
2 votes:
typical chicago libtard, he wants dead children to vote, as long as they agree with his ideals
2013-02-12 09:50:50 PM
2 votes:

eddievercetti: We can't stop there?


it's bat country
2013-02-12 09:40:16 PM
2 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-02-12 09:35:02 PM
2 votes:

silgryphon: Why are gas prices still high then?


Because you touch yourself.
2013-02-12 09:32:20 PM
2 votes:
You guys are so fast I can't make pithy comments in time.
2013-02-12 09:31:10 PM
2 votes:

balthan: Al Fraken will always be Stuart Smalley to me.


I just watched Trading Places on Netflix and forgot he was the stoner/dummy baggage handle of the gorilla. Explaining that man was now a Senator to my teens was a bit odd.
2013-02-12 09:27:23 PM
2 votes:
So much standing and sitting. It's like Catholic mass.
2013-02-12 09:27:20 PM
2 votes:

Confabulat: Where's Nugent?



He's in camo. You can't see him.
2013-02-12 09:25:47 PM
2 votes:
The  envelopes Obama gave Biden and Boehner?  I'd laugh if the envelope to Boehner had a picture of Boehner farking a sheep in garterbelt and stockings.

Wink, and mention something about cooperation in the speech.
2013-02-12 09:25:41 PM
2 votes:

vygramul: I cannot BELIEVE people who aren't wearing the green ribbon.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

2013-02-12 09:21:52 PM
2 votes:

Confabulat: Where's Nugent?


Crapping his pants in case Obama reinstates the draft.
2013-02-12 09:15:20 PM
2 votes:
"nice hair"

s20.postimage.org
2013-02-12 09:11:22 PM
2 votes:
What is that Michelle is wearing?

i306.photobucket.com
2013-02-12 09:08:34 PM
2 votes:
"Members of Congress treat this as Date Night. They announce which other member from across the aisle they are sitting with. Claire McCaskill, apparently, has two Republican dates, so she has a three-way date this evening."

Rachel Maddow ships McCaskill/Fischer, I can tell.
2013-02-12 09:05:38 PM
2 votes:
.My fellow Americans. Tonight we begin Martial Law . We have set on fire the Constitution and now pray to Allah you will surrender your weapons peaceable turning the Transition. Allahu Ackbar!
2013-02-12 05:21:15 PM
2 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: Hell yes obama will continue with the same shiat...The son of a biatch belongs in prison.


i.imgur.com
2013-02-12 01:39:43 PM
2 votes:
Obama: Now I understand everyone's shiat's emotional right now, but I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING
Pelosi: Break it down, Obama!
Obama: Number 1: We've got this guy Joe Biden.  Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE, and Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING
2013-02-12 12:41:59 PM
2 votes:
I hate this season.

The plot seems to be driven by a point made last season and I'm tired of older characters being brought back. Just stay with the main ones.
I'm also tired of the "will they or won't they?"
The bad guys just keep repeating the same things over and over.
There needs to be a new plot twist soon or I'll stop watching.
2013-02-14 04:09:23 AM
1 votes:
files.myopera.com
2013-02-13 11:40:28 AM
1 votes:

Shakin_Haitian: Hobodeluxe: Shakin_Haitian: It's telling that people aren't even making fun of Rand Paul's speech.

no one watched it other than his followers.

The silent majority.


Study it out.
2013-02-13 11:35:49 AM
1 votes:

keylock71: Somewhat related aside... I saw Henry Rollins speak for three farking hours straight without one drop of water. Guy didn't even break a sweat.


God tried to remind Henry Rollins that he was human once.  I haven't heard from God lately, have you?
2013-02-13 11:03:52 AM
1 votes:

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: buckler: I prefer the "easy boy...do this right and no one will notice" moment.

[i20.photobucket.com image 643x395]

Just saw that and it was actually worse than it sounded in this thread.

[static01.mediaite.com image 568x387]

/poor setup


OMG! Is that a TELEPROMPTER??!?
2013-02-13 10:04:00 AM
1 votes:

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: buckler: I prefer the "easy boy...do this right and no one will notice" moment.

[i20.photobucket.com image 643x395]

Just saw that and it was actually worse than it sounded in this thread.

[static01.mediaite.com image 568x387]

/poor setup


That's what I don't get. Why on earth didn't they put the water right next to him, barely out of view so he could  easily reach it without even moving himself should he need it, and use a glass of water instead of bottled water? Taking a quick sip from this setup wouldn't have look so awkward, more natural and professional IMHO. I guess the water was not intended for use during the speech but before and after it and in that case it should have been put out of reach completely.

I think that's the last time we saw a live rebuttal of the SOTU address. I'll be taped from now on.
2013-02-13 09:54:00 AM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Michelle has such a huge ass.


So does the President. Behind him and on his left.
2013-02-13 08:08:43 AM
1 votes:

Hobodeluxe: Shakin_Haitian: It's telling that people aren't even making fun of Rand Paul's speech.

no one watched it other than his followers.


The silent majority.
2013-02-13 08:01:27 AM
1 votes:
Somewhat related aside... I saw Henry Rollins speak for three farking hours straight without one drop of water. Guy didn't even break a sweat.
2013-02-13 07:57:30 AM
1 votes:
"I mean I needed water, what am I going to do?" he said. "God has a funny way of reminding us we're human."

-- Marco Rubio

I love it when these asswipes invoke God for no reason.

Fark you Rubio, you twit.
2013-02-13 07:32:07 AM
1 votes:

Pick: So, basically what you libs are saying is Rubio's rebuttal was so good, you could say nothing bad about it, other than he took a drink of water. Lame, really lame.


No it was a horrible and mostly ignorant speech too.
2013-02-13 07:29:04 AM
1 votes:

buckler: I prefer the "easy boy...do this right and no one will notice" moment.

[i20.photobucket.com image 643x395]


Must. time. myself. perfectly. to. grab. water. between. frames. like. a. ninja.

/Curse you 24fps!
2013-02-13 02:31:14 AM
1 votes:
I prefer the "easy boy...do this right and no one will notice" moment.

i20.photobucket.com
2013-02-13 02:03:12 AM
1 votes:

davidphogan: digistil: kg2095: There needs to be an effort to pull a Santorum on Ted Nugent - so that his name becomes synonymous with taking a dump in one's pants.

Don't forget why he shiat his pants: To dodge the draft.

The only thing worse than a pants-shiatter is a cowardly pants-shiatter.

A Nugent should be a nutty shiat in an adult diaper.


Gato Negros es brachos.
2013-02-13 01:26:14 AM
1 votes:
Rubio is basically Paul Ryan if Ryan could roll his Rs. In between not signing the Violence Against Women act and now this speech, I think today was the day his political career got farked by a bull with its dick on fire.
2013-02-13 01:21:13 AM
1 votes:

kg2095: snowjack: Lionel Mandrake: tenpoundsofcheese: It would be funny if Ted tries to citizen's arrest the illegal immigrant.

seriously, we now invite illegal immigrants to the SOTU?

It would be funnier if he tried, but then the Secret Service tazed his sorry ass and he shiat his pants.

Seriously, we now invite pants-shiatting draft dodgers who make death threats to the SOTU?

What's with all the ad-hominems? I'm not a Nugent fan, but everyone shiats their pants at some point.

How many people deliberately shiat their pants in an effort to escape being drafted to the Viet Nam war? And of those who do, how many of those rant and rave about socialists and commies all the while trying to paint themselves as some sort of super patriot?

Only one that I know of.

There needs to be an effort to pull a Santorum on Ted Nugent - so that his name becomes synonymous with taking a dump in one's pants.


A Nugent should be a nutty shiat in an adult diaper.
2013-02-13 12:53:44 AM
1 votes:
Now if Rubio had started with...

cache.jezebel.com
2013-02-12 11:47:40 PM
1 votes:
Posted by an old grad school friend:

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2013-02-12 11:43:03 PM
1 votes:

Mentat: There wasn't enough room in America for all of the oil so God put the rest in the Middle East until we could get there.


Couldn't He just it all in one of the empty, crappy states like North Dakota?
2013-02-12 11:39:12 PM
1 votes:
img407.imageshack.us
2013-02-12 11:36:33 PM
1 votes:

picodenico: "God blessed us with coal!"

No, God didn't you cock.

YOU ARE A F*CKING IDIOT


Did he really say that?  Did he address why all the Muslim nations got all the oil?
2013-02-12 11:32:37 PM
1 votes:
Given the big sip, I thought this seemed appropriate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc8eu2nBq_4
2013-02-12 11:24:23 PM
1 votes:
CNN has now addressed that he didn't respond to Obama's speech by the black guy.  Who also brought up the water.  Lulz.
2013-02-12 11:21:48 PM
1 votes:

Poison Appleseeds: paj: Frank Luntz's Fox focus group is live!

Frank Luntz and Sean Hannity...I think I'd rather have the flu

explosive diarrhea than watch 5 minutes of that bullshiat parade.
paj
2013-02-12 11:20:29 PM
1 votes:
I would watch a channel devoted entirely to Frank Luntz-led focus groups.  Always bringing the lulz.
2013-02-12 11:20:01 PM
1 votes:
does anyone have a link to Brian Williams's reaction?
paj
2013-02-12 11:10:46 PM
1 votes:
Robert Gibbs on Rubio - "The only lurch to the left was for a bottle of water"
2013-02-12 11:05:56 PM
1 votes:

Fireproof: There's a Facebook group called "1,000,000 strong to keep Marco Rubio Hydrated."


I eagerly await the Marco Rubio/Bear Grylls crossover meme.
2013-02-12 11:05:53 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: davidphogan: Serious Post on Serious Thread: RminusQ: Earguy: Laughing at Rubio wiping his mouth multiple times, then a panicked gulp of water.  Obama didn't do that for a speech that lasted three times longer.

In all honesty, he probably did, during the applause breaks that the response speech doesn't get.

Yeah, drinking from a glass of water set out for you on a podium and making a panicky grab for a plastic shorty of bottled water awkwardly placed offscreen is not really the same thing

It he grabbed for a glass instead of a tiny little plastic water bottle was the funniest part to me.

Would have been even better if he had to hastily open the bottle to take the swig.




I picture him being him unable to open the cap because of his sweaty palms and angrily throwing it out of frame, or going full-Costanza and becoming obsessed with getting the cap off, and forgetting the rest of the speech.
2013-02-12 11:05:12 PM
1 votes:
@marcorubio: #GOPResponse #SOTU #gop #tcot pic.twitter.com/T7fDqUma

Well done, Marco. Self-deprecating humor is a good quality. Even for a Republican.
2013-02-12 11:04:39 PM
1 votes:
There's a Facebook group called "1,000,000 strong to keep Marco Rubio Hydrated."
2013-02-12 11:01:34 PM
1 votes:
2013-02-12 10:54:09 PM
1 votes:

Rwa2play: Flying Lasagna Monster: Fox News panning Rubio speech.

Yeah, he looked like he wasn't read for primetime.  Not a good start if you're aspiring to run for President in 2016.


Yeah, he didn't seem like a good speaker.  And water.
2013-02-12 10:53:27 PM
1 votes:
I like his look to the left first to gauge whether or not he can reach it or not. Was probably just sitting there taunting him the whole time.
2013-02-12 10:51:25 PM
1 votes:

kidgenius: Lionel Mandrake: This guy seems tired...must be past his bedtime.

Doesn't look tired... He looks scared to death. Voice is quivering speaking quickly swallowing a lot and wiping sweat


The dusty lies stick in his throat.
2013-02-12 10:50:57 PM
1 votes:
Man, I hope Rand Paul doesn't have to pee during is speech.
2013-02-12 10:50:45 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, and thanks for that look you gave the camera while you bent over to fetch the glass of water you used to drown the nervousness that was making you trip over your own tongue.  That wasn't creepy at all.
2013-02-12 10:50:10 PM
1 votes:
Did he swig water in the Spanish language version?
2013-02-12 10:50:04 PM
1 votes:

eddievercetti: Cris Christie is laughing his ass off. Marc isn't ready for primetime.


Ah damn, Christie just has to go in to every primary debate with an unopened 2 liter of Poland Spring until Rubio just runs off stage crying.
2013-02-12 10:48:04 PM
1 votes:

LaViergeNoire: Nailed it.


I am farking dying over here...
now some jindal.
holy fark this was so farking hilarious.
2013-02-12 10:47:53 PM
1 votes:
Let me repeat.  I do not want to see some crazy animation loop of Rubio reaching for that water bottle.  That would be crazy to look at.  And we are all looking for more hanity...er...sanity.  So don't even be tempted.
2013-02-12 10:47:52 PM
1 votes:

Dr. DJ Duckhunt: He looks thristy


Soon, Rubio will look tired.
2013-02-12 10:47:43 PM
1 votes:
"I would have had the water bottle closer"
2013-02-12 10:47:10 PM
1 votes:
OH MAN, I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BUST OUT A CHART.

Instead, it was a silly midget bottle of water.
paj
2013-02-12 10:46:02 PM
1 votes:
Maddow on Rubio - "Much more of a speech about the President than the party"
"A claws-out, aggressive speech"
2013-02-12 10:45:57 PM
1 votes:
And Brian Willams just buridd Marco with one face.
2013-02-12 10:45:50 PM
1 votes:
Rubio drinking is trending on Twitter.

Not quite as good as Old Man Yells At Chair, but I hope I'll get some entertainment out of this.
2013-02-12 10:45:33 PM
1 votes:
Brian Williams is awesome!

This has been "RRRAAAWWWRRRR! With Brian Williams"
2013-02-12 10:44:58 PM
1 votes:
...and god bless....THIS WATER
2013-02-12 10:44:35 PM
1 votes:
Nailed it.
2013-02-12 10:44:32 PM
1 votes:

flamingboar: The water break was the only real part of the speech.


That is all anyone will be talking about tomorrow.
It is all I am laughing about still.
fark your chapters gulpy mcdrinksalot.
2013-02-12 10:44:28 PM
1 votes:
He's Shatnering.
2013-02-12 10:43:42 PM
1 votes:
Remember the scene in Broadcast News when Albert Brooks has the massive case of flop sweat?

Ha ha ha ha!!!!?  It's actually happening live!
2013-02-12 10:43:32 PM
1 votes:
New meme: Thirstier than Marco Rubio.
2013-02-12 10:43:22 PM
1 votes:
These pretzels are making me thirsty
2013-02-12 10:43:21 PM
1 votes:

hulk hogan meat shoes: But if we stop giving U of Phoenix money, who will sponsor the Arizona Cardinals?


The owners are still ridiculously rich. Also liberal.
2013-02-12 10:43:16 PM
1 votes:
He's gonna cry again...
paj
2013-02-12 10:43:11 PM
1 votes:

"Mean President Obama impugns our motives!" says party that calls Obama a socialist Muslim.

- delrayser (@delrayser) February 13, 2013">
2013-02-12 10:43:06 PM
1 votes:
Did the teleprompter tell him to take a drink?

I loved the look on his face...."no one will notice if I take a quick drink"
2013-02-12 10:42:53 PM
1 votes:
This twatwaffle reeks of weasel
2013-02-12 10:42:36 PM
1 votes:

Demetrius: HE'S MELTING...HE'S MELTING!!


WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD!
2013-02-12 10:42:28 PM
1 votes:
wow...sorry Markie but that water break was clumsy as hell.  podiums dude.  they have 'em for a reason.
2013-02-12 10:42:24 PM
1 votes:
Oh no, the water had fracking compound in it!
2013-02-12 10:41:36 PM
1 votes:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
2013-02-12 10:41:33 PM
1 votes:
HAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
2013-02-12 10:41:33 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: Rubio's response is at least stronger than Bobby Jindal's.


Well, he hasn't yet claimed to be a preexisting condition.

Even Rubio needs a drink to get through this.
2013-02-12 10:41:22 PM
1 votes:

Aeterna: KarmicDisaster: Sergio_Van_Lukenstein: I have a Masters. Can I force people to call me "Master"?

Me too. Master of Science. I like that.

I go with "Mistress." Lots of respect.


Yes Mistress
2013-02-12 10:41:21 PM
1 votes:
Rubio drinks? DRINK!
2013-02-12 10:41:08 PM
1 votes:
WATER!
2013-02-12 10:41:08 PM
1 votes:
HE TOOK A DRINK!
2013-02-12 10:41:08 PM
1 votes:
*GULP*
2013-02-12 10:41:07 PM
1 votes:
HAHAHAHAHA
2013-02-12 10:41:06 PM
1 votes:
WATER BREAK
2013-02-12 10:41:05 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: Yeah, outside the office, I never use the title.

Honestly, I wish that there were a separate title for physicians vs. PhD types. I also wish there was a title for physician assistants and nurse practitioners. It's weird for me to have patient-care professionals referred to with no professional title. "Okay, I'll send the report to Susan" is just uncomfortable for me.


imgc.allpostersimages.com
2013-02-12 10:40:06 PM
1 votes:
OOH HE NERVOUS!
2013-02-12 10:40:05 PM
1 votes:
Rubio: "The gov cannot create jobs only the private industry can create jobs", Rubio 3 minutes later: "Every dollar the gov borrows is a dollar not spent creating jobs"
2013-02-12 10:39:59 PM
1 votes:
HE'S A SWEATER!

And not the Cosby kind.
2013-02-12 10:39:54 PM
1 votes:
Really Rubio, I haven't seen Obama mention Bush in a while...

and damn son, take a drink of water, it's painful to watch you talk.
2013-02-12 10:39:44 PM
1 votes:
OMG RIGHT?!?! Obama couldn't STOP talking about bush every 5 seconds!
2013-02-12 10:39:05 PM
1 votes:
Holy shiat you paid off your student loans? You must be rich!
2013-02-12 10:38:59 PM
1 votes:
It's all about me! I got mine, you can suck on it and like it.
2013-02-12 10:38:57 PM
1 votes:

picodenico: WIPE THE SWEAT BEAD! WIPE THE SWEAT BEAD! WIPE THE SWEAT BEAD!


Boy, that exposed him as someone that's not believing the words coming out of his own mouth.
2013-02-12 10:38:23 PM
1 votes:

Mitt Romneys Tax Return: Demetrius: He's pulling a Jindal.

God, I hope so. Rubio making career-destroying gaffe would make my night.


I think you just got your wish.  personally, I would have wished for a million bucks but...far as wishes go, it wasn't bad.
2013-02-12 10:37:56 PM
1 votes:

Demetrius: He's pulling a Jindal.


Yep!  In some ways he's even pulling a Romney: agree with everything Obama said.
2013-02-12 10:37:45 PM
1 votes:
"We need a permanent solution."

I know it's silly, but that never comes out sounding right.
2013-02-12 10:37:41 PM
1 votes:
His pits are going to be soaking through his suit in a minute.
2013-02-12 10:37:30 PM
1 votes:

Demetrius: He's pulling a Jindal.


God, I hope so. Rubio making career-destroying gaffe would make my night.
2013-02-12 10:37:24 PM
1 votes:

make me some tea: These people speak an entirely different language.


Shaka when the walls fell.
2013-02-12 10:36:38 PM
1 votes:
Rubio's family came to America 2 years before castro took control of Cuba.

So his family was escaping the oppressive controlling big government of the capitalist?


Rubio 2016, this is gonna be hilarious.
2013-02-12 10:36:15 PM
1 votes:
If we could only grow the economy which I don't know how to...
2013-02-12 10:36:08 PM
1 votes:
Jesus Hussein Christ, what was the betting line on Rubio being derpier than Rand?
2013-02-12 10:36:07 PM
1 votes:
He's got a bad case of cottonmouth with all that lyin goin on
2013-02-12 10:36:03 PM
1 votes:
Wait, getting benefits and a living wage makes the poor poorer? WAR IS PEACE!
2013-02-12 10:35:52 PM
1 votes:
Now it's time for the 'I hate Marco' show!

"I hate Marco, hate Marco and his mailbox heaaaaaaad!"
2013-02-12 10:35:22 PM
1 votes:

wxboy: So far Rubio hasn't offered a single solution to anything.


It's all been 'WAHHHHHH! OBAMA'S BAD 'CAUSE HE'S CRITICIZING US! HE'S A MEANIE!"
2013-02-12 10:35:05 PM
1 votes:
I have a Masters. Can I force people to call me "Master"?
2013-02-12 10:33:43 PM
1 votes:
He sounds preachy, whiny and vaguely gay.
2013-02-12 10:33:37 PM
1 votes:

coco ebert: Why can't Ted Nugent give the response?


because he's been heavily sedated and restrained right now.
2013-02-12 10:32:12 PM
1 votes:
so this is his reply to the SOTU that never happened?
chickenbrazzers.jpg
2013-02-12 10:32:01 PM
1 votes:
Rubio.  Starting off with Abortion.


Are you sure we cant get Nuge to start screaming at the camera?
2013-02-12 10:31:36 PM
1 votes:
Is he going to tell them in Spanish how they want to mandate English?
2013-02-12 10:31:06 PM
1 votes:
Rubio: every sperm is sacred.
2013-02-12 10:30:32 PM
1 votes:

The Bestest: Hi Marco!


Polo!!!
2013-02-12 10:29:00 PM
1 votes:
I am highly disappointed that we didnt get to see the Nuge hurling feces from the balcony.
paj
2013-02-12 10:27:18 PM
1 votes:
And now, the Republican response:
us.123rf.com
2013-02-12 10:23:57 PM
1 votes:

coco ebert: Where and when is the Republican response being given?


Live, from the bubble.
2013-02-12 10:21:10 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Shot 12 times?  Dude is farking Robocop.


speaking of shot lots of times, apparently dorner is dead.
2013-02-12 10:20:26 PM
1 votes:
CNN: there was a speech, words were said.  some people were happy, some were not.

MSNBC: there was a speech. it was pretty good.  some people were happy, some were not.

Fox News: 'ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing the end of western civilization as we know it.  buy gold, buy gold RIGHT f*cking now!'
2013-02-12 10:19:51 PM
1 votes:

there their theyre: Now its time for the derp response.


Which one? GOP or teabaggers?
2013-02-12 10:19:27 PM
1 votes:
I can't wait for the Republican's House Mexican to give the response.
2013-02-12 10:18:48 PM
1 votes:

theknuckler_33: Boehner isn't particularly orange tonight...



That means forest fire danger in DC is relatively low.
2013-02-12 10:16:57 PM
1 votes:
Damnit....I was really hoping to see the Nug get renditioned on live TV
2013-02-12 10:16:55 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Shot 12 times?  Dude is farking Robocop.


He trained his organs to duck.
2013-02-12 10:16:40 PM
1 votes:

Demetrius: doyner: Republicans made a 102 year old woman wait 6 hours to vote.  Good jorb, fellas.

She was black. It was okay by them.


I think the appropriate word is "urban."
2013-02-12 10:15:35 PM
1 votes:

JerseyTim: Deseline doesn't look a day over 93.


I'd hit it.
2013-02-12 10:14:53 PM
1 votes:
Man, Obama is pushing ALL of the GOP's buttons tonight: health care, social security, voting laws, guns, min wage, infrastructure....
2013-02-12 10:14:31 PM
1 votes:
Deseline doesn't look a day over 93.
2013-02-12 10:13:37 PM
1 votes:

hulk hogan meat shoes: "Just a mile away from my house."

Guess who needs to move?


It's not like a mile from the White House is any better.
2013-02-12 10:13:12 PM
1 votes:

ThatGuyGreg: YOU get a vote!
YOU get a vote!
YOU get a vote!
YOU get a vote!


Shut up Oprah, you are drunk.
give me your keys.
2013-02-12 10:11:52 PM
1 votes:
Gabby is starting to look sexy again.
2013-02-12 10:11:19 PM
1 votes:
Figs are the bomb, Vote on that
2013-02-12 10:11:05 PM
1 votes:
"Just a mile away from my house."

Guess who needs to move?
2013-02-12 10:10:46 PM
1 votes:

paj: "Strengthen cyber defenses by enhancing information sharing" sounds a lot like the government knowing more, not so much like "security"?- Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) February 13, 2013">


Another liberal shill, going along with whatever her Obamessiah says.
2013-02-12 10:10:22 PM
1 votes:
dammit. now I want a fig newton.
2013-02-12 10:10:19 PM
1 votes:
Obama:  "I dare you to vote against gun control."
2013-02-12 10:09:30 PM
1 votes:

Shirley Ujest: JerseyTim: make me some tea: I'm back, what'd I miss?

The FEMA camps start tomorrow.

Yay! I love camp!


Will there be s'mores?
2013-02-12 10:08:39 PM
1 votes:

Gwendolyn: Justice Ginsberg is asleep


Or worse.
2013-02-12 10:03:02 PM
1 votes:

paj: NBC says this speech is being broadcast on Cuban TV for the first time ever. Link



Technically, this speech is broadcasting on our TVs for the first time ever, too.

But I don't want to split hairs.
2013-02-12 10:01:22 PM
1 votes:
i1162.photobucket.com
2013-02-12 10:01:10 PM
1 votes:
Next year's SOTUDG rule:
Every time Obama says "Congress must act", kick a beer can down the hall and pledge to drinking it next week.
2013-02-12 09:57:34 PM
1 votes:
Somewhere there's a drone applauding.
2013-02-12 09:56:40 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: [img.photobucket.com image 799x195]

He does?  Haven't noticed any praise of other countries.  What did I miss?


The Union.
2013-02-12 09:56:34 PM
1 votes:

Mr_Juche: At this point, I am expecting him to drop the mic on the dais and strut out the door.


i.qkme.me
2013-02-12 09:54:56 PM
1 votes:
OMG Dorner is in uniform and in the audience!
2013-02-12 09:54:25 PM
1 votes:
Family is all asking: "WTF happend to Joe Bidens EYE!?!?!"

.....first rule of fight club...
2013-02-12 09:54:04 PM
1 votes:
Ryan just took a deuce in his undies at the idea of a min wage tied to cost of living.

/gives me a warm fuzzy
2013-02-12 09:54:00 PM
1 votes:
I think this speech is giving Boehner a nose bleed and/or internal bleeding.  maybe even a touch of organ failure.  all that rage turning inward can't be good for him.
2013-02-12 09:53:26 PM
1 votes:
Boner looked at his boogers....ewwwww.
2013-02-12 09:53:08 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: LOL who was the chick in the white sweater?


Omg I saw her too! A woman shaking her head no to equal pay?? Wtf??
2013-02-12 09:52:58 PM
1 votes:

KarmicDisaster: That was at least polite of Boehner to give Joe a clap.


Didn't use a condom, eh?
2013-02-12 09:52:46 PM
1 votes:
Oh fellow members of the Republican Senate.  Shall we continue to build palace after palace for this rich?  Or shall we aspire to a nobler purpose and build decent housing for the poor.  How does the Senate vote?

FARK THE POOR!
2013-02-12 09:51:49 PM
1 votes:
$9 an hour!

The Walton family has just caught a case of the vapors.
2013-02-12 09:50:41 PM
1 votes:
Angry woman shaking her head angrily at equal pay for women.
2013-02-12 09:50:25 PM
1 votes:
That's a lot of fancy words to say, "Those oranges aren't going to pick themselves."
2013-02-12 09:49:00 PM
1 votes:
Imagine Bush even trying to pronounce half of this speech, hahaha.
2013-02-12 09:47:32 PM
1 votes:

flamingboar: YES PLEASE I WANT TO GO TO COLLAGE! I don't want to be a janitor for the rest of my life :(


why don't you try mixed media instead.
2013-02-12 09:47:31 PM
1 votes:
Making meth is a technical skill.
2013-02-12 09:44:57 PM
1 votes:

LordOfThePings: Bontesla: Wow. That McCain smile was uncomfortable and awkward.

Every McCain smile is uncomfortable and awkward.


i.telegraph.co.uk

Random person: "Smile, McCain!!!"
McCain: =P
2013-02-12 09:43:25 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: Weaver95: Obama is clearly enjoying himself tonight.  the GOP has to be going absolutely insane right about now.

Can't wait for the Republican response.

But all of this is preaching to their separate choirs.  No one will be inspired to change or compromise.


I think Obama's decided to just enjoy the f*ck outta his second term.
2013-02-12 09:42:31 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: Obama is clearly enjoying himself tonight.  the GOP has to be going absolutely insane right about now.


Hey, he's just doing what we on Fark did for what seemed like a month after Election Night: sweet schadenfreude.
2013-02-12 09:42:28 PM
1 votes:

Stile4aly: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 713x713]


24.media.tumblr.com

FOUR YEARS LATER: Cris Christie gets elected.
2013-02-12 09:40:44 PM
1 votes:

RevMercutio: Barbara Boxer's highlights are threatening to take over her head.


i read that as "headlights" and nearly threw up in my mouth a little.
2013-02-12 09:40:06 PM
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-12 09:39:59 PM
1 votes:
This is a huge number of proposals to die in Congress.
2013-02-12 09:39:06 PM
1 votes:

Mr_Juche: Boehner looks like her really needs the bottle of Tums he left back in his office.


industrial strength prep-h doesn't have a time released formula,  show some compassion.
2013-02-12 09:38:55 PM
1 votes:
I hope Obama exits this speech riding on a small drone like The Green Goblin. #pumpkinbombs #SOTU

- Patton Oswald on twitter
2013-02-12 09:38:54 PM
1 votes:
Biden looks like he's a hidden shock collar away from yealling out fark YEAH!!!
2013-02-12 09:36:51 PM
1 votes:
Wow. That McCain smile was uncomfortable and awkward.
2013-02-12 09:36:35 PM
1 votes:
Every time Obama says science, I get a little harder...
2013-02-12 09:36:10 PM
1 votes:
Why does Boehner have salt, pepper and olive oil in front of him like he's at a sit-down pizza joint?
2013-02-12 09:36:05 PM
1 votes:
that bit about climate change almost melted boehner's face into his lap.
2013-02-12 09:33:36 PM
1 votes:
Can you send the new battery tech to Boeing?  They might need them.
2013-02-12 09:31:49 PM
1 votes:
I swear Obama just said "shiatting jobs".
2013-02-12 09:31:44 PM
1 votes:
HEEL BIDEN = BEST BIDEN
2013-02-12 09:31:25 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: Boehner is making bedroom eyes at Obama.....


Those aren't bedroom eyes. Those are "Jesus... I'm so farking drunk that Barry's lookin goooooooooooooooood" eyes.
2013-02-12 09:31:09 PM
1 votes:
I'm counting Boehner burps. Spotted 2 so far.
2013-02-12 09:30:52 PM
1 votes:
Obama: more jobs!

Boehner: I need more vodak.
2013-02-12 09:30:06 PM
1 votes:
every time they clap for elected officials creating a manufactured crisis, they're patting themselves on the back or something?
2013-02-12 09:30:00 PM
1 votes:
Boehner's not happy about the idea of paying bills on time.
2013-02-12 09:29:10 PM
1 votes:
Is it just me, or does Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's hair look like ramen noodles?
2013-02-12 09:29:06 PM
1 votes:
MANUFACTURED CRISIS!
2013-02-12 09:29:01 PM
1 votes:
Boner flinched at "manufactured crisis".
2013-02-12 09:28:11 PM
1 votes:
Punchingface...
2013-02-12 09:28:01 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

"Tax Reform": 1 sip of something complicated!
2013-02-12 09:26:53 PM
1 votes:

hulk hogan meat shoes: I'm waiting for him to talk about how adjunct college instructors will have to work at three different colleges or go on food stamps because of the Affordable Care Act. But I bet he won't.


I'm waiting for proof that happens. I bet you won't provide it.
2013-02-12 09:25:51 PM
1 votes:

NeoCortex42: I like C-SPAN, but they're framing the shot so you can't see Biden or Boehner's faces at all.


You aren't missing much. It looks like we are up past their bed-times.
2013-02-12 09:23:31 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: drew46n2: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 802x960]

Remind us of Obama's military record.


How's Commander-in-Chief for ya?
2013-02-12 09:23:29 PM
1 votes:

make me some tea: OMG MCCONNELL HAS GONE FULL TURTLE


HE WAS IN THE POOL!
2013-02-12 09:22:49 PM
1 votes:
Boehner has watery eyes. Drunken eyes. Like a doll's eyes.
2013-02-12 09:22:21 PM
1 votes:

Joe Six-Keg: Damnation... Boehner's lit. I mean, he is completely shiat-faced. He's got to have an alcohol-blood content. I know folks who look like that when they're trying to act/look sober while having too much blood in their alcohol. He is blitzed.

This could be entertaining.


"Oh, scotch... You're the only one that understands me. Alright... come on, Imma... Imma put on my tie, and you're gonna get some fresh ice, and we're gonna go out there with our... with our heads held high, just the two of us."
2013-02-12 09:21:43 PM
1 votes:
OMG MCCONNELL HAS GONE FULL TURTLE
2013-02-12 09:21:38 PM
1 votes:

wxboy: picodenico: What is that on Boehner's desk? Metal emotions casket?

Salt and pepper shakers?  Hot dog caddy?


Buttplugs.
2013-02-12 09:19:23 PM
1 votes:
Paul Ryan's eyes are sliding off his face.  Failure is a helluva drug.
2013-02-12 09:19:06 PM
1 votes:
Paul ryan's ears should get their own seat.
2013-02-12 09:18:28 PM
1 votes:
those are glasses Joe, you don't eat glasses
2013-02-12 09:18:13 PM
1 votes:
Elena Kagan looks like what Lena Dunham will look like in forty years.
2013-02-12 09:16:57 PM
1 votes:

RminusQ: OK, everyone sit down and stfu


What about the national anthem and the coin toss?
2013-02-12 09:16:38 PM
1 votes:

eraser8: Boehner's sucking a lemon.


To get the taste of Koch out of his mouth.
2013-02-12 09:15:26 PM
1 votes:
did we made sure that Boehner wasn't carrying anything sharp?  just checking is all...
paj
2013-02-12 09:14:52 PM
1 votes:

Norad: DOES DANA BASH SHAVE HER HOO-HOO? ( ) YES ( ) NO


I hear she goes full Donna Brazille.
2013-02-12 09:14:51 PM
1 votes:

EchoMike: What kind of clapping was Gabby Giffords doing?


Whatever the fark kind she wants.
2013-02-12 09:14:39 PM
1 votes:

Master of the Flying Guillotine: $5 on Ted Nugent being a loud d-bag with a Hulkamania foam finger


well....all he needs for that is the finger really
2013-02-12 09:14:13 PM
1 votes:
OMG LINDSEY GRAHAM SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*faints*
2013-02-12 09:13:59 PM
1 votes:
Good lord, Mr. Speaker. Drunk and angry is no way to present yourself to America.
2013-02-12 09:13:19 PM
1 votes:
President not yet to podium; Boehner wishing for death
2013-02-12 09:12:23 PM
1 votes:
barry needs a mustache to look more presidential. like this guy.


www.bartcop.com
2013-02-12 09:12:22 PM
1 votes:
STOP IT JUST STOP IT

NO ULULATING AT THE PRESIDENT
2013-02-12 09:11:00 PM
1 votes:
I wish the president had entrance music

/not hail to the chief. something like "Do you smell what Barack is cooking?"
2013-02-12 09:08:15 PM
1 votes:

JerseyTim: No matter who you voted for or what your political ideology is, I think we can all agree that this would so much more awesome if Herman Cain were giving the SOTU.


The Area Code of the Union is 9-9-9.
2013-02-12 09:07:56 PM
1 votes:
Drinking game rule: If President Obama mentions gun control you can have no more than ten shots.
2013-02-12 09:05:51 PM
1 votes:

IAmTheTagTeamChampions: Boehner isn't wearing a green ribbon. Srsly? Dick...


Green clashes with orange.
2013-02-12 09:05:28 PM
1 votes:
crap.  nobody move.  i'm out of coffee.
2013-02-12 09:04:06 PM
1 votes:
Popcorn Johnny: Michelle has such a huge ass.

Oh my gawd Becky, look at her butt!
2013-02-12 09:02:07 PM
1 votes:
Have the showed the Nug yet?  Hopefully he's wearing an leather zebra striped tux with a big feather in his matching cowboy hat.
2013-02-12 09:01:05 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Michelle has such a huge ass.


Drink!!!!!
2013-02-12 09:00:20 PM
1 votes:
Michelle Obama arrives. Thankfully without Sasha or Malia, or else Ted Nugent may hit on them.
2013-02-12 08:59:24 PM
1 votes:

DaJesus: IAmTheTagTeamChampions: DaJesus: IAmTheTagTeamChampions: I'm gonna try to bring some crossover from the WWE threads tonight.

BAH GAWD KING, OBAMA'S BEATING BOEHNER LIKE A GUBMINT MULE!!!

YES! YES! YES! YES!

WAIT A MINUTE KING! THAT'S BIDEN'S MUSIC!! JOE BIDEN!!! JOE BIDEN!!! JOE BIDEN!!!!

GONG!


No, this needs Bobby and The Gorilla!
2013-02-12 08:59:19 PM
1 votes:
That's a lot of millionaires in one room.
2013-02-12 08:58:52 PM
1 votes:
The state of our union is crispy fried and burning out, glowing eerily in the dark cold night.
2013-02-12 08:58:22 PM
1 votes:
This year, the Supreme Court has decided to forgo pants.
2013-02-12 08:57:29 PM
1 votes:

silgryphon: The Dean gets mild clapping. Whoever that is


www.classicalvalues.com
2013-02-12 08:55:27 PM
1 votes:
Just now on Politico:

Guy in studio: "Jonathan, tell me something I don't know."

Jonathan on the street: "We'll, there's a homeless guy behind me yelling obscenities..."
2013-02-12 08:54:29 PM
1 votes:
Everyone seems to be milling about. I am looking for the Senators checking their ticket stubs and arguing that someone is in their seat.
"Is this section 8, seat 12?"

"No, this is section 9, you want the other side of the aisle."
2013-02-12 08:52:22 PM
1 votes:

DaJesus: IAmTheTagTeamChampions: I'm gonna try to bring some crossover from the WWE threads tonight.

BAH GAWD KING, OBAMA'S BEATING BOEHNER LIKE A GUBMINT MULE!!!

YES! YES! YES! YES!


WAIT A MINUTE KING! THAT'S BIDEN'S MUSIC!! JOE BIDEN!!! JOE BIDEN!!! JOE BIDEN!!!!
2013-02-12 08:48:31 PM
1 votes:

RevMercutio: willfullyobscure: I WANT TO KNOW

JUST HWHAT

THE PRESIDENTE EL KABONG

IS GOING TO DO

ABOUT OUR NATION

'S

WILD
        PIG

CRISIS

????????????

FFS, look at his background. He will cook it underground and have a luau.


media.tumblr.com
2013-02-12 08:46:27 PM
1 votes:
I'm gonna try to bring some crossover from the WWE threads tonight.

BAH GAWD KING, OBAMA'S BEATING BOEHNER LIKE A GUBMINT MULE!!!
2013-02-12 08:45:09 PM
1 votes:

willfullyobscure: I WANT TO KNOW

JUST HWHAT

THE PRESIDENTE EL KABONG

IS GOING TO DO

ABOUT OUR NATION

'S

WILD
        PIG

CRISIS

????????????


FFS, look at his background. He will cook it underground and have a luau.
2013-02-12 08:44:16 PM
1 votes:

somedude210: DaJesus: Free TF? What would I do with that?

masturbate furious. Duh


So everything would be the same?
2013-02-12 08:43:47 PM
1 votes:

I WANT TO KNOW

JUST HWHAT

THE PRESIDENTE EL KABONG

IS GOING TO DO

ABOUT OUR NATION

'S

WILD
        PIG


CRISIS

????????????
2013-02-12 08:43:36 PM
1 votes:

DaJesus: Free TF? What would I do with that?


masturbate furious. Duh
2013-02-12 08:23:04 PM
1 votes:

somedude210: NeoCortex42: Shouldn't there be a YouTube feed?  I haven't checked, but they've been pretty good at offering streams to these sorts of events.

C-span is a great live stream

born_yesterday: I've been granted a month before.  I think you should set up somebody that's never had the experience.

Thanks, though; nice to see you're legit about it.

already sponsored him. Do you want it too? I'd like to sponsor you.


Sure.  I'd do my best to set the tone of threads with my comedy stylings.  Or, angry, drunken belligerence.  I'm a wildcard!
2013-02-12 08:22:30 PM
1 votes:

NeoCortex42: Shouldn't there be a YouTube feed?  I haven't checked, but they've been pretty good at offering streams to these sorts of events.


Yes. See here.
2013-02-12 08:15:40 PM
1 votes:
2013-02-12 08:11:27 PM
1 votes:
Obama will admit he is actually Christopher Dorner, just wears a fat-suit for it.
2013-02-12 08:09:34 PM
1 votes:
Luke Russert @LukeRussert
Ted Nugent walking into #SOTU with jeans, camo boots, black button down and brown blazer--no tie.

Nice to see Ted has big-boy clothes.  Just check those jeans for shiat first before he sits down.
2013-02-12 07:10:58 PM
1 votes:

WTF Indeed: Finish your drink if:

Ned Nugent gets thrown out for being Ned Nugenty


What Ned Nugent might look like:

ts2.mm.bing.net
2013-02-12 06:49:56 PM
1 votes:
Drinking Game Rules:

Take a drink if:

Obama says the nation is "Strong"
When Obama says "bi-partisan"
When Obama mentions his wife

Take two drinks if:

Republicans clap for the President
Obama makes a joke that people laugh at

Take three drinks if:

Robert Mendez comes with a hooker
Sam Alito punches the Justice in front of him
Someone boos the President

Finish your drink if:

Ned Nugent gets thrown out for being Ned Nugenty
2013-02-12 05:55:47 PM
1 votes:

ManateeGag: jehovahs witness protection: stripping Americans of all freedom.

what Freedom have you lost?

jehovahs witness protection: The son of a biatch belongs in prison

For what crime?


PWB.
2013-02-12 04:43:22 PM
1 votes:

snowjack: Honest question: do you support the 2nd amendment at all? Do you think Americans should have the right to own and carry any guns?


Wait.. there's a SECOND Amendment? What the hell happened to the 1st one?
2013-02-12 03:57:20 PM
1 votes:
Inshallah, Hussein will explain to the umma why he has alienated his brothers in religion.

/Obama, he is with us.
//I throw a monkey at your tent
///Achaemenid
2013-02-12 03:20:32 PM
1 votes:
It'd be great if at the end of the address, Obama asks Ted Nugent to stand up as a rep of the NRA, then asks him about his Vietnam service.
2013-02-12 03:04:23 PM
1 votes:
Adios dear thread we hardly knew ye.
2013-02-12 02:38:07 PM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: Except for Loughner, who was taken down when he stopped to reload.


That and it's helpful in the general sense to lessen the amount of time bullets can by flying through the air. I just watched a video of a guy reloading an AR-15 in about seven seconds, but I'll round it up to ten to account for the pandemonium of your first mass killing spree. Our non-hypothetical gunman is in a room full of kindergartners, and takes four seconds to target each child and pop two rounds in its chest (this is the most horrific math question I've ever seen). So for a thirty round magazine, he takes down fifteen kids in sixty seconds, then takes ten to reload.

That high-capacity mag has a downtime of about 14.3%.

With a ten round magazine, he kills five kids in twenty seconds, then takes ten to reload. To kill the fifteen, he would need to spend a minute shooting and thirty seconds reloading, making his downtime about 33.3%. With the high capacity magazine, he could kill forty-five children in 3m30s. With smaller magazines, he would need to spend 4m30s doing the same horrific act, so the simple fix of limiting magazine sizes reduces the effectiveness of mass murdering psychopaths by about 28.6%, just in the amount of kindergarteners they can shoot in a given time frame.

Given that the first few minutes are the most crucial while waiting for law enforcement, any delay saves a number of lives that wouldn't have been saved otherwise. Limiting magazine size is at its very worst a minor annoyance for legal gun owners on the level of a shoelace coming untied, and at its best will save a handful of kindergarteners the next time someone loses their mind.
2013-02-12 02:17:43 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: Lionel Mandrake: Except for Loughner, who was taken down when he stopped to reload.

That's why I said 99% of the time, there are rare exceptions to the rule.  In the case of Sandy Hook, it wouldn't have mattered if the guy had a single shot rifle.


 I'll have to take your word for it.  I'm not privy to how things unfold in alternate universes.
2013-02-12 01:59:59 PM
1 votes:
"The state of our union is... smooth. We got this unemployment, you see, and the trend is that it's going all the way down, right where you like it. Yeah, you yourself got a job, baby. We all got jobs here tonight, and the CBO reports that my service sector is looking to fill some rewarding positions tonight, if you let me check a little of your background. I'm investing in you, America, and I can't wait to see your dividends."
2013-02-12 01:16:31 PM
1 votes:
I think Obama and Congress should make a "Harlem Shake" video at the SOTU.
2013-02-12 12:57:10 PM
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: tenpoundsofcheese: It would be funny if Ted tries to citizen's arrest the illegal immigrant.

seriously, we now invite illegal immigrants to the SOTU?

It would be funnier if he tried, but then the Secret Service tazed his sorry ass and he shiat his pants.

Seriously, we now invite pants-shiatting draft dodgers who make death threats to the SOTU?


Yeah. Ted should not have been invited either. That was stupid.
2013-02-12 11:11:05 AM
1 votes:
Did they have the SOTU on Mardi Gras just so John Boehner could be drunk the whole time?
2013-02-12 11:02:36 AM
1 votes:
Will Deb Carey get a shout-out?

i48.tinypic.com
2013-02-12 11:02:08 AM
1 votes:
Barack Obama will finally stand up to Republicans like liberals have demanded he do since day one. Through the magic power of his words, he'll convince the entire Congress to do everything he wants them to.  The President will then look deeply into every camera in the room at the same time and convince every American to give up their guns and instil a desire for them to be taxed at 90%.
2013-02-12 10:27:18 AM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: He's trying the be responsible face of gun ownership.


pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com
2013-02-12 10:25:35 AM
1 votes:
I became amused and then depressed when I realized this morning my train of thought was "I might watch the State of the Union address to see if Ted Nugent is actually going to try to kill the president," and that it was actually a plausible scenario and not a really warped Family Guy cutaway gag.
2013-02-12 10:02:00 AM
1 votes:
Will the Right Overreact?

Dude, they're already planning on overreacting right now as we speak.
2013-02-12 09:58:48 AM
1 votes:

Lurking Fear: I'm willing to bet Ted disrupts the event and is escorted out by the secret service.


I don't know.  I'm hoping Obama calls him out, and asks him how HE would solve the gun violence problem.  Can't imagine Ted could do anything after that other than look like a lunatic.
2013-02-12 09:50:28 AM
1 votes:
I'm going to guess yes to all the above except for Uncle Teddy.
 
Displayed 321 of 321 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report