FARK.com: (7588224) Sometimes the headlines write themselves: "Times Square Spiderman claims 'punching a woman in the face for not tipping him' was 'self-defense'"

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		Sometimes the headlines write themselves: "Times Square Spiderman claims 'punching a woman in the face for not tipping him' was 'self-defense'" (dailymail.co.uk)		65
		More: Amusing, Times Square Spiderman, Times Square, Spider-Man, Mr Williams

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7868 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 12:58 PM | Favorite | share:

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65 Comments (+0 »)

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johnnieconnie		2013-02-12 11:28:02 AM

Great. Another tipping thread.

/got nuthin'

brap		2013-02-12 11:41:07 AM

Something about Times Square makes everybody punchy, myself included and I'm a pacifist. I spend half of my day counting to ten and taking deep breaths so I don't I "pass a fist" through some rude begging mascot's jaw.

scottydoesntknow		2013-02-12 11:54:37 AM

/Hope this turns into a '60s Spider-Man thread

Sybarite		2013-02-12 12:08:13 PM

Give her a free shot.

www.iruntheinternet.com

I_Am_Weasel		2013-02-12 12:26:31 PM

Looks like someone is...spinning a web of lies.

YEEA....bah! screw it.

Arkanaut		2013-02-12 01:00:33 PM

johnnieconnie: Great. Another tipping thread.

/got nuthin'

You better have nuthin' plus 18%, if you don't want spit in your food.

Rembrant_Q_Einstein		2013-02-12 01:01:00 PM

Wait, it's not?

spman		2013-02-12 01:01:59 PM

I wish the Police would tell these aggressive panhandlers to scram, they're a real nuisance. They're even worse in Las Vegas where you can't even take one step down the boulevard without running into costumed idiots looking for money, jerks trying to rip you off on water sales, or the card snappers.

blatz514		2013-02-12 01:03:19 PM

What was this article about again....

i.dailymail.co.uk

spidermann		2013-02-12 01:04:14 PM

fark you, Otto!

LineNoise		2013-02-12 01:05:46 PM

He isn't the spiderman times square tourists want, he is the spiderman they need.

farbekrieg		2013-02-12 01:06:12 PM

with great power comes at least 10-15$ or a punch to the face.

/oh uncle ben, how i love your rice

Shmeat		2013-02-12 01:08:45 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate		2013-02-12 01:10:10 PM

stuffy		2013-02-12 01:14:51 PM

Why would anyone want to have there pic taken with some guy in a crappy Wal Mart costume.

trappedspirit		2013-02-12 01:15:11 PM

If you work for tips, then shake the hips

Slagnasty		2013-02-12 01:20:21 PM

Peter Parker has fallen on some hard times.

jiggitysmith		2013-02-12 01:22:20 PM

trappedspirit: If you work for tips, then shake the hips

ok

25.media.tumblr.com

Raoul Eaton		2013-02-12 01:25:42 PM

What's the standard tip for superheroes these days?

//I assume it's 5% higher in NYC than anywhere else...

cgraves67		2013-02-12 01:28:20 PM

It was the super hero service she deserved, but not the one she was willing to pay for.

/oh wait, wrong meme

wumpus		2013-02-12 01:34:30 PM

Prosecutors pointed to Mr Williams' past record, citing charges of grand larceny and retail fraud when he was 17 and living in Michigan.

Living in Michigan is illegal now?

The My Little Pony Killer		2013-02-12 01:36:46 PM

Lieutenant John Grimple told MailOnline that Mr Williams then replied: 'You're crap'

If he had just stopped there and I had been present to witness it, I would have tipped him.

Bendimus_Prime		2013-02-12 01:36:48 PM

Later that night...
img842.imageshack.us

bearcats1983		2013-02-12 01:37:40 PM

Last time I was in NYC, I saw two of these "performers" get in a fight over who 'owned' that block of Times Square. Unfortunately, the NYPD broke it up before any punches were thrown. I would've definitely tipped them to watch the brawl.

blatz514		2013-02-12 01:41:38 PM

wumpus: Prosecutors pointed to Mr Williams' past record, citing charges of grand larceny and retail fraud when he was 17 and living in Michigan.

Living in Michigan is illegal now?

Well, it's not recommended.

sloshed_again		2013-02-12 01:44:02 PM

Tips are just that. Sometimes you get them, sometimes you don't.

Dahnkster		2013-02-12 01:45:03 PM

My fighty senses were tingling. Peter Porker?
xaxor.com

vudukungfu		2013-02-12 01:49:14 PM

Farking Canuck		2013-02-12 01:49:56 PM

Self defense? He should have just stood his ground and put two into her chest and on to the head.

sloshed_again		2013-02-12 01:52:58 PM

If you have ever been on the AVE. of AMERICAS that would be the least strange thing you see.

Been there done that. Not going back.

megarian		2013-02-12 01:53:03 PM

Super Chronic		2013-02-12 01:55:07 PM

Those random people inhabiting Times Square in costumes are like squirrels. They're pests, but they proliferate because out-of-towners think they're cute and insist on feeding them.

Russ1642		2013-02-12 01:56:19 PM

Raoul Eaton		2013-02-12 01:57:07 PM

sloshed_again: If you have ever been on the AVE. of AMERICAS that would be the least strange thing you see.

Been there done that. Not going back.

Calling it "Ave. of Americas" is an indication that a person might not know NYC well enough to find the good parts that are worth going back to.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache		2013-02-12 01:58:44 PM

Ah yes, martial artists call it the Chris Brown technique.

tinderfitles		2013-02-12 01:59:30 PM

That spiderman is a menace.

you_idiot		2013-02-12 02:00:05 PM

What's the going rate for a job that can be described as "Stand there"? I'm guessing 15 cents.

Captain Steroid		2013-02-12 02:02:28 PM

blatz514: What was this article about again....

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x386]

i1182.photobucket.com

ProfessorOhki		2013-02-12 02:10:47 PM

In a fit of passion, the woman meanwhile had approached another Spiderman by mistake.

Wow, do I feel dumb for initially assuming that "Times Square Spiderman" was a wacky guy everyone knew, rather than a job description.

Glendale		2013-02-12 02:12:20 PM

Farking Canuck: Self defense? He should have just stood his ground and put two into her chest and on to the head.

I don't believe NY has such a law, and unlikely NYC is going to allow guns anyway.

KatjaMouse		2013-02-12 02:14:05 PM

I went to New York for the first time in a while last month and walked through Times Square (I know I know... I was actually just coming out of the garment district which is like 4 blocks away). It was awful. Oh wow, seeing all those poorly costumed Elmos and Spidermans and a couple of really creepy Mickey & Minnie Mouse knockoffs was like watching the Drew Barrymore Babes in Toyland during a bad trip. I know we've been joking about the Disnification of New York, Broadway in particular, but I don't know man. Disney wouldn't allow their brand to cheapen that much. At least the Naked Cowboy had his own fun and unique spirit to offer... along with some eye candy.

peterthx		2013-02-12 02:16:36 PM

Well Spiderman is an asshole

/thread needs more asshole 60s Spiderman pics

JohnCarter		2013-02-12 02:17:46 PM

Couldn't he have tied her up by spraying his webby goo all over her?

KatjaMouse		2013-02-12 02:17:57 PM

ProfessorOhki: Wow, do I feel dumb for initially assuming that "Times Square Spiderman" was a wacky guy everyone knew, rather than a job description.

The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-02-12 02:19:44 PM

Back in Times Square, others are worried about the implications of such a brawl and are no doubt recalling last year's anti-Semitic Elmo who was arrested for disorderly conduct and racist ranting in Central Park.

sd1.blored.com

Millennium		2013-02-12 02:21:38 PM

Clearly this is the Octavius Spider-Man, not the Parker Spider-Man.

Fool0ndahill		2013-02-12 02:24:53 PM

J. Johah Jamison was right. He IS a menace!

Tax Boy		2013-02-12 02:51:04 PM

brap: Something about Times Square makes everybody punchy, myself included and I'm a pacifist. I spend half of my day counting to ten and taking deep breaths so I don't I "pass a fist" through some rude begging mascot's jaw.

Tourist-filled Times Square is the Worst Place in the World. At least Hell is warm in the winter.

peterthx		2013-02-12 02:56:33 PM

Fool0ndahill: J. Johah Jamison was right. He IS a menace!

I would love to see NYC newspapers with this story on the front page.

some_beer_drinker		2013-02-12 02:58:26 PM

he is the hero we deserve

ProfessorOhki		2013-02-12 03:00:31 PM

peterthx: Fool0ndahill: J. Johah Jamison was right. He IS a menace!

I would love to see NYC newspapers with this story on the front page.

They're going to need pictures...

Khazar-Khum		2013-02-12 03:46:54 PM

"Police were called to the scene at around 3pm after the woman's husband and Mr Williams began fighting, and managed to stop the protective husband from pounding the defendant."

Wow...can you imagine how pumped the kid must be? "My Dad beat up Spider-man!"

jennies1897		2013-02-12 03:52:27 PM

I went to Times Square once. I happened to be visiting a friend and we went the day after the big New Year's Eve party. It was so empty it was eerie. I loved it. Pretty much nobody but us wandering around. I didn't think that happened in NYC.

SpdrJay		2013-02-12 03:53:06 PM

Son, I am disappoint.

Grandemadaca		2013-02-12 03:54:45 PM

KatjaMouse: The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Hello Pufferfish?

Grandemadaca		2013-02-12 03:56:47 PM

Grandemadaca: KatjaMouse: The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Hello Pufferfish?

Trying again....
img855.imageshack.us

Dixon Cider		2013-02-12 04:04:35 PM

Grandemadaca: Grandemadaca: KatjaMouse: The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Hello Pufferfish?

Trying again....
[img855.imageshack.us image 640x384]

Am I tripping or is this a farked up Hello Kitty?

KatjaMouse		2013-02-12 04:27:50 PM

Dixon Cider: Grandemadaca: Grandemadaca: KatjaMouse: The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Hello Pufferfish?

Trying again....
[img855.imageshack.us image 640x384]

Am I tripping or is this a farked up Hello Kitty?

See, none of the costumes are officially licensed so you get some pretty jacked up looking representations of copywritten characters.

Dixon Cider		2013-02-12 04:40:40 PM

KatjaMouse: Dixon Cider: Grandemadaca: Grandemadaca: KatjaMouse: The "Mascots" of Times Square.

In other words, nightmare fuel.

Hello Pufferfish?

Trying again....
[img855.imageshack.us image 640x384]

Am I tripping or is this a farked up Hello Kitty?

See, none of the costumes are officially licensed so you get some pretty jacked up looking representations of copywritten characters.

We, in the flyover States, haven't been privy to all the insider info on these characters... Thanks a many!

The One True TheDavid		2013-02-12 06:16:55 PM

Kntucky just reaffirmed its status as an Open Carry state.

MagSeven		2013-02-12 07:05:56 PM

This story has everything from the Spidey-Mythos.
1. Spider-Man punched a woman? =Superior Spider-Man
2. The wrong Spidey got blamed? = The Parker Luck
3. More than one Spidey? = Clone Saga

MagSeven		2013-02-12 07:09:44 PM

SanjiSasuke		2013-02-12 10:14:46 PM

Millennium: Clearly this is the Octavius Spider-Man, not the Parker Spider-Man.

My thoughts exactly. Can't blame Peter for this one.

btch_cakes		2013-02-12 10:38:42 PM

FTA: ...Elmo who was arrested for disorderly conduct and racist ranting in Central Park.

i'm pretty sure it's not illegal to go on a racist rant. even if you are elmo.