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(Mediabistro)   "Storage Wars" cast member takes himself out of the bidding   (mediabistro.com) divider line 24
    More: Sad, carbon monoxide poisons, TMZ, cast member, Mark Balelo  
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12022 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Feb 2013 at 10:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-12 11:23:49 AM  
7 votes:

Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.


It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"
2013-02-12 10:50:22 AM  
7 votes:
img.poptower.com

"That's it, folks, and don't forget to pay the ferryman!"
2013-02-12 10:57:15 AM  
6 votes:
To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.
2013-02-12 12:37:13 PM  
5 votes:

Broktun: Step 1:  Hire a black guy to live in a storage shed.
Step 2:  Default on storage shed payment
Step 3: . . . .
Step 4:  profit


"Oh cool! Hey Brandon, look at this! It's a black guy! We really scored here. Slap a jockey outfit on him, give him a lantern, and that's hundred dollar bill all day long."
2013-02-12 10:29:39 AM  
4 votes:
Storage Wars regular Mark Balelo committed suicide on Monday by way of carbon monoxide poisoning, reportedly after learning that he was a regular on the reality television show, Storage Wars.
2013-02-12 01:17:44 PM  
3 votes:

Tyrosine: Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?


No, of course not; I just want to motorboat her.
2013-02-12 11:55:15 AM  
3 votes:
I enjoy Storage Wars simply for the entertainment, I agree with another poster that the value they put on items is pretty ridiculous:

IE:  Yeah those jeans with the skidmarks on the inside are worth a hundred dollar bill all day long.  Those vintage 1970's end tables are obviously antiques so I should be able to get $200.   That dirty rusty lawnmower should be worth $100 even though someone could buy a new one for about $150 on sale...

My son came by the other evening and watched it with me and came up with a pretty funny dialog, he said "What if Dave Hester had a stroke and all he could do is say YUUUUPPP!!!"

Auctioneer: "Anyone want to bid $1000? On this locker?"

Dave (Thinking) - "I'll be a smartass and say Jarod wants it"  - YUUUPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "I got $1000!  Anyone want to bid $2000?"

Dave (Thinking) - "Oh no?  Why did I say that?  I'll tell him it was a mistake!" - YUUUUPPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "$2000!  Anyone want to bid $10 grand?"

Dave (thinking) - "What's wrong with me?  I can't seem to say anything but YUP! Let me try again!"  - YUUUPPP!!!!

Darrell Sheets - "I bet ol Hester will buy that for 1 million!"

Auctioneer: "1 Million!  Do I hear 1 Million!"

Dave Hester (Thinking) - "I need medical help!  Let me try again" - YUUUUUPPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "Sold to Dave Hester for 1 Million!"

Brandi - "Gee Dave is so happy he's crying!"

Dave Hester - "Yuuuuuppp!"
2013-02-12 11:20:47 AM  
3 votes:

Flappyhead: No, not the man purse!!


THAT'S MY PURSE!  I DON'T KNOW YOU!
2013-02-12 01:41:45 PM  
2 votes:

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 319x309]
[i26.photobucket.com image 319x252]
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark


crooklynclan.net

"NA-BI-LAH!"
2013-02-12 11:37:16 AM  
2 votes:
I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

or

"So I found this old painting with Van Goghs name on it in a box marked, "Grandma's home decor" under a soiled mattress and next to a christmas tree.  I'm not real familiar with art but luckily I know an art buddy who is totally available to give me a free estimate of its worth!"

Art Guy: "Oh yeah, you hit the jackpot!  See this a painting by Van Gogh and even though it says reproduction at the bottom on the back with a Kmart barcode just adds to the value!  I've seen somthing like this go for a billion dollars at an art auction recently.  So you should get atleast a half a billion!"
2013-02-12 11:27:50 AM  
2 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"


And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.
2013-02-12 11:01:26 AM  
2 votes:

Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.


You know what they say, "you live by the storage locker, you die by the storage locker".

no one really says that. sometime I do, if I'm in a mood.
2013-02-12 10:34:26 AM  
2 votes:
Pleasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarry p leasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarry...

*click*

Who? And why couldn't it have been Hester?
2013-02-12 10:16:25 AM  
2 votes:
YUUUUUUUUUP!
2013-02-13 09:09:25 AM  
1 votes:

strutin: Chevello: FTA: " A National Enquirer story from last month claimed..."

Nice sources you got there. I'll give you a nickel.

"nickel holdin' up a dollar" - Roy's most annoying saying

what I really hate is Darrel saying stuff like,"That's an eighty dollar bill all day long..". I'd pay good money to see an $80 bill.


www.notarealthing.com

I accept paypal
2013-02-12 12:33:03 PM  
1 votes:

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 319x309]
[i26.photobucket.com image 319x252]
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark


Wow, Sharon Lawrence is still lookin' pretty good.
2013-02-12 12:21:39 PM  
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


I'm not a truck driver but I am an independent contractor of sorts. It's always nice to know that no matter how bad a project I'm having I can't possibly be worse than Garrett.
2013-02-12 12:15:55 PM  
1 votes:
One down, all of the rest to go.
2013-02-12 11:51:34 AM  
1 votes:
Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.

/Just realized he knows way more about this franchise than anyone should.
//A tailpipe, you say...
2013-02-12 11:36:05 AM  
1 votes:

EyeballKid: or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.



teampetetongs.files.wordpress.com

4.bp.blogspot.com

Snrk.
2013-02-12 11:33:31 AM  
1 votes:

EyeballKid: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"

And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.


Barry would bid because there would be a cool looking plastic dinosaur in there.
/RIP Uberdouche
2013-02-12 11:09:17 AM  
1 votes:
He made me root for Hester. He forced me to root for Hester.

That's an accomplishment.
2013-02-12 11:03:27 AM  
1 votes:
cdn.cnwimg.com
2013-02-12 10:21:14 AM  
1 votes:
As long as nothing happened to Brandi's sweater kittens, I think we'll be okay.
 
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