If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mediabistro)   "Storage Wars" cast member takes himself out of the bidding   (mediabistro.com) divider line 121
    More: Sad, carbon monoxide poisons, TMZ, cast member, Mark Balelo  
•       •       •

12018 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Feb 2013 at 10:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-12 12:30:14 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: lc6529: 

Dave would make more money by selling customers the opportunity to punch him in the face. Maybe Brandi could sell motorboats. Barry--shiat, I'd pay good money just to hang out with him all day. I can't even begin to imagine all the random awesomeness that must befall him in the course of an average day.


Barry was in a parade in Auburn Indiana last fall, and he saw me wearing a Vans T-shirt and yelled out "Love the shirt maaaaan".

A few minutes later, I walked over to another street to get a picture of a care I'd missed and he saw me again. He yelled out "Hey, there's a guy who looks just like you back there somewhere!" Got the sense he really did not piece together that I was the same guy, or that the parade had made a U-turn.
 
2013-02-12 12:30:15 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Storage Wars regular Mark Balelo committed suicide on Monday by way of carbon monoxide poisoning, reportedly after learning that he was a regular on the reality television show, Storage Wars.


That's more like it. This tripe was on a TV at a New Year's party last year, and half the guests were glued to it like zombies. *shudder*

/all hail hypnotoad
 
2013-02-12 12:31:17 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Maybe Brandi could sell motorboats.


The primary indictment of Brandi is that she's "married" to Jarrod.
 
2013-02-12 12:31:56 PM  

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 319x309]
[i26.photobucket.com image 319x252]
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark


Now dems some real sweater beasts!
 
2013-02-12 12:32:05 PM  
Barry--shiat, I'd pay good money just to hang out with him all day. I can't even begin to imagine all the random awesomeness that must befall him in the course of an average day.


Barry is pretty cool though I don't like how he is now starting to act more like a buffoon instead of the suave debonair guy he was when the show started.   I read somewhere he is a millionaire in real life and is actually the reason
the show exists.  One of his friends came up with the idea after Barry started doing storage bidding because Barry was truly looking for antiques.   Barry and his brother used to own a organic food company or something, they ran
it for over 30 years and then sold it.   Every article I have read about Barry seems to indicate he is truly a nice guy.
 
2013-02-12 12:33:03 PM  

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 319x309]
[i26.photobucket.com image 319x252]
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark


Wow, Sharon Lawrence is still lookin' pretty good.
 
2013-02-12 12:33:50 PM  
Step 1:  Hire a black guy to live in a storage shed.
Step 2:  Default on storage shed payment
Step 3: . . . .
Step 4:  profit
 
2013-02-12 12:35:58 PM  

lc6529: I read somewhere he is a millionaire in real life and is actually the reason
the show exists.


Not Barry, Dan the auctioneer came up with the show idea.  The various bidders are regulars Dan knew, picked for their appeal.  Brandi was not originally a part of the show until Jarrod brought her to an auction and their banter got good reviews.  If you look at the early shows, she's a bit heavier than she was later.
 
2013-02-12 12:37:13 PM  

Broktun: Step 1:  Hire a black guy to live in a storage shed.
Step 2:  Default on storage shed payment
Step 3: . . . .
Step 4:  profit


"Oh cool! Hey Brandon, look at this! It's a black guy! We really scored here. Slap a jockey outfit on him, give him a lantern, and that's hundred dollar bill all day long."
 
2013-02-12 12:42:26 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Broktun: Step 1:  Hire a black guy to live in a storage shed.
Step 2:  Default on storage shed payment
Step 3: . . . .
Step 4:  profit

"Oh cool! Hey Brandon, look at this! It's a black guy! We really scored here. Slap a jockey outfit on him, give him a lantern, and that's hundred dollar bill all day long."


And we are done here. Good job everybody!
 
2013-02-12 12:42:48 PM  

Gosling: The Great EZE: Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.

/Just realized he knows way more about this franchise than anyone should.
//A tailpipe, you say...

I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.


But SW:Texas has two attractive ladies. And while they both have their annoying quirks, the hotness to annoyingness ratio is pretty favorable.
 
2013-02-12 12:44:12 PM  

A Terrible Human: EyeballKid: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"

And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.

Barry would bid because there would be a cool looking plastic dinosaur in there.
/RIP Uberdouche


Dead Guy in a storge unit. The best I can do is $50.
 
2013-02-12 12:45:19 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


I'm more of a Robbie kind of guy:

www.jenniferbrennan.net

www.aetv.com
 
2013-02-12 12:54:13 PM  

stevetherobot: Gosling: The Great EZE: Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.

/Just realized he knows way more about this franchise than anyone should.
//A tailpipe, you say...

I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

But SW:Texas has two attractive ladies. And while they both have their annoying quirks, the hotness to annoyingness ratio is pretty favorable.


I prefer Mary's hyperactive nerd quirk. The kind of energy that'll leave you in the happiest coma ever. If Moe isn't hitting that then I'm ashamed for him.
 
2013-02-12 12:56:36 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks this chick is stoned 24/7?

www.storagewars-texas.com
 
2013-02-12 12:57:53 PM  
Cool, can I have his stuff?
 
2013-02-12 01:00:27 PM  
I remember this guy, he was the one who made Barry go batshiat crazy and the whole thing dissolved into a pissing contest.
 
2013-02-12 01:01:00 PM  
The Great EZE    If Moe isn't hitting that then I'm ashamed for him.

Oh great, now I have THAT mental image in my head......
 
2013-02-12 01:01:52 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Cool, can I have his stuff?


You'll have to bid on it.
 
2013-02-12 01:14:08 PM  
Fun Berry fact.  If you watch the Jessie James Motorcycle Mania series (imdb says part 3) you can see a long haired biker looking Berry talking to Jessie.  I believe they listed him as JJ's godfather or something.
 
2013-02-12 01:14:36 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Maybe Brandi could sell motorboats.


Which would be great if this sub-human troglodyte hadn't been balls deep in her:

img.poptower.com

Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?
 
2013-02-12 01:17:44 PM  

Tyrosine: Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?


No, of course not; I just want to motorboat her.
 
2013-02-12 01:22:07 PM  
How to make an awesome reality show, STOP PAYING REALITY STARS...Show the real stress of running a business!

I'm not a hater but sometimes these "This-is-my-crazy-job" show, shows get repetitive.  There has to be real drama and when people make more money from the show than their business it doesn't seem as exciting.  They don't stress as much because they know they are set from the money they are raking in from the show.

So my solution is to stop paying these people.  Show the real stress of running a business!!!

Show the reality of being self-employed and running your own business not knowing if you are going to make it.  Show the risk of losing not only your business and livlihood but your loss of family and personal time.

"Oh crap a customer cancelled a large order and now we have to unload something quickly or it will spoil or lose value somehow!"

"Or, a pipe burst and flooded my store, now I have to pay for repairs I don't have money for and inventory that I lost!"

"I was counting on this employee but they quit or didn't show up now I'm short on staff and really have to hustle!"
That's more exciting than
 
2013-02-12 01:30:38 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Tyrosine: Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?

No, of course not; I just want to motorboat her.


Suit yourself, but a word of advice: If you ever get the opportunity I'd wash her down with Wescodyne first.
 
2013-02-12 01:33:54 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Broktun: Step 1:  Hire a black guy to live in a storage shed.
Step 2:  Default on storage shed payment
Step 3: . . . .
Step 4:  profit

"Oh cool! Hey Brandon, look at this! It's a black guy! We really scored here. Slap a jockey outfit on him, give him a lantern, and that's hundred dollar bill all day long."


"Storage Wars: CSA"?

If we're going in that direction, I'd prefer:

3.bp.blogspot.com

"Provider One is an idiot. Spending 200 quatloos on three humans."
 
2013-02-12 01:34:31 PM  

Tyrosine: Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?


Seriously.   Seriously, she's trailer trash, but quite hot trailer trash.
 
2013-02-12 01:34:42 PM  

I am Wee Todd Ed: How to make an awesome reality show, STOP PAYING REALITY STARS...Show the real stress of running a business!

I'm not a hater but sometimes these "This-is-my-crazy-job" show, shows get repetitive.  There has to be real drama and when people make more money from the show than their business it doesn't seem as exciting.  They don't stress as much because they know they are set from the money they are raking in from the show.

So my solution is to stop paying these people.  Show the real stress of running a business!!!

Show the reality of being self-employed and running your own business not knowing if you are going to make it.  Show the risk of losing not only your business and livlihood but your loss of family and personal time.

"Oh crap a customer cancelled a large order and now we have to unload something quickly or it will spoil or lose value somehow!"

"Or, a pipe burst and flooded my store, now I have to pay for repairs I don't have money for and inventory that I lost!"

"I was counting on this employee but they quit or didn't show up now I'm short on staff and really have to hustle!"
That's more exciting than


I really agree with that, though I'm not sure how that would work logically. How many people would volunteer to allow an entire camera crew to intrude on their operation for nothing in return.

The worst offender has to be Gordon Ramsey's/Robert Irvine's restaurant rescuing shows. Incompetent owners with absolutely no business sense serving god-awful food and they get  rewardedwith a expensive professional redesign. If you want to help them with their recipes, fine. If you want to tell them how to balance the books, fine. If you want to teach the wait staff how best to serve customers, fine. But you're stuck with the crappy-looking shack until you earn enough to rehab it yourself.

I better stop before this turns into a welfare thread.
 
2013-02-12 01:35:48 PM  

fustanella: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Storage Wars regular Mark Balelo committed suicide on Monday by way of carbon monoxide poisoning, reportedly after learning that he was a regular on the reality television show, Storage Wars.

That's more like it. This tripe was on a TV at a New Year's party last year, and half the guests were glued to it like zombies. *shudder*

/all hail hypnotoad


We bask in your awesomeness
 
2013-02-12 01:37:59 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


You also forgot
img.poptower.com

Too bad she's with King Douche.  He annoys me even more than Roy.
 
2013-02-12 01:41:45 PM  

Onkel Buck: [i26.photobucket.com image 319x309]
[i26.photobucket.com image 319x252]
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark


crooklynclan.net

"NA-BI-LAH!"
 
2013-02-12 01:46:52 PM  

Tyrosine: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Maybe Brandi could sell motorboats.

Which would be great if this sub-human troglodyte hadn't been balls deep in her:

[img.poptower.com image 431x600]

Do you really want to fark someone with standards THAT low??!?


Thats totally a "You mad Bro" smile
 
2013-02-12 01:50:43 PM  
Tyrosine:
Which would be great if this sub-human troglodyte hadn't been balls deep in her:

e
verytime I see Jarod all I can think is "Jewish Cholo"
And those Outlaw shirts he wears might be one of the worst logos I've ever seen.
 
2013-02-12 01:50:49 PM  

beal99: Am I the only one who thinks this chick is stoned 24/7?

[www.storagewars-texas.com image 681x461]


My thoughts exactly.  Wait wha...?
 
2013-02-12 01:52:22 PM  

The Great EZE: I am Wee Todd Ed: How to make an awesome reality show, STOP PAYING REALITY STARS...Show the real stress of running a business!

I'm not a hater but sometimes these "This-is-my-crazy-job" show, shows get repetitive.  There has to be real drama and when people make more money from the show than their business it doesn't seem as exciting.  They don't stress as much because they know they are set from the money they are raking in from the show.

So my solution is to stop paying these people.  Show the real stress of running a business!!!

Show the reality of being self-employed and running your own business not knowing if you are going to make it.  Show the risk of losing not only your business and livlihood but your loss of family and personal time.

"Oh crap a customer cancelled a large order and now we have to unload something quickly or it will spoil or lose value somehow!"

"Or, a pipe burst and flooded my store, now I have to pay for repairs I don't have money for and inventory that I lost!"

"I was counting on this employee but they quit or didn't show up now I'm short on staff and really have to hustle!"
That's more exciting than

I really agree with that, though I'm not sure how that would work logically. How many people would volunteer to allow an entire camera crew to intrude on their operation for nothing in return.

The worst offender has to be Gordon Ramsey's/Robert Irvine's restaurant rescuing shows. Incompetent owners with absolutely no business sense serving god-awful food and they get  rewardedwith a expensive professional redesign. If you want to help them with their recipes, fine. If you want to tell them how to balance the books, fine. If you want to teach the wait staff how best to serve customers, fine. But you're stuck with the crappy-looking shack until you earn enough to rehab it yourself.

I better stop before this turns into a welfare thread.


Yeah, I love those shows about a famous chef/businessman helping restaurants/businesses that are failing get turned around. I too get upset that these owners are failing due to their own stupidity or general laziness. "What do you mean I should clean my kitchen everday?" or "I shouldn't tell customers to fark off?"

Like, what are these people thinking when they go into business for themselves?  You do realize you're not working 40 hrs a week but more like 70?  Your business fails, your not just out of a job but also your house!
 
2013-02-12 01:53:00 PM  

The Great EZE: The worst offender has to be Gordon Ramsey's/Robert Irvine's restaurant rescuing shows. Incompetent owners with absolutely no business sense serving god-awful food and they get rewardedwith a expensive professional redesign. If you want to help them with their recipes, fine. If you want to tell them how to balance the books, fine. If you want to teach the wait staff how best to serve customers, fine. But you're stuck with the crappy-looking shack until you earn enough to rehab it yourself.

I better stop before this turns into a welfare thread.


I don't know that it seems to have any actual effect on whether the restaurant gets saved or not. They didn't do it in the British version and most of the time the restaurant closed anyway. They do in America and in the first three seasons pulled much the same numbers (in fact, every single restaurant from Season 2 has since closed). Season 4, though, the save rate picked up considerably.
 
2013-02-12 01:59:15 PM  

buzzhead: Tyrosine:
Which would be great if this sub-human troglodyte hadn't been balls deep in her:

everytime I see Jarod all I can think is "Jewish Cholo"
And those Outlaw shirts he wears might be one of the worst logos I've ever seen.


everytime I see Jarod all I can think is "Jewish Cholo"

You FARKER, I just bursted out laughing...They are all staring at me now......
 
2013-02-12 01:59:51 PM  

I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

or

"So I found this old painting with Van Goghs name on it in a box marked, "Grandma's home decor" under a soiled mattress and next to a christmas tree.  I'm not real familiar with art but luckily I know an art buddy who is totally available to give me a free estimate of its worth!"

Art Guy: "Oh yeah, you hit the jackpot!  See this a painting by Van Gogh and even though it says reproduction at the bottom on the back with a Kmart barcode just adds to the value!  I've seen somthing like this go for a billion dollars at an art auction recently.  So you should get atleast a half a billion!"


They get thousands of dollars per episode and free publicity for their stores. They can jack up the prices.
 
2013-02-12 02:00:47 PM  

Gosling: The Great EZE: The worst offender has to be Gordon Ramsey's/Robert Irvine's restaurant rescuing shows. Incompetent owners with absolutely no business sense serving god-awful food and they get rewardedwith a expensive professional redesign. If you want to help them with their recipes, fine. If you want to tell them how to balance the books, fine. If you want to teach the wait staff how best to serve customers, fine. But you're stuck with the crappy-looking shack until you earn enough to rehab it yourself.

I better stop before this turns into a welfare thread.

I don't know that it seems to have any actual effect on whether the restaurant gets saved or not. They didn't do it in the British version and most of the time the restaurant closed anyway. They do in America and in the first three seasons pulled much the same numbers (in fact, every single restaurant from Season 2 has since closed). Season 4, though, the save rate picked up considerably.


Holy crap. I'm not a regular watcher but if I catch an episode and see how it's doing on yelp. I didn't know the save rate was so low. And I think the fact that remodeling the restaurant has no effect on the business either way is what makes the gift so annoying. It's gratuitous (no pun intended).
 
2013-02-12 02:05:59 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.


If nothing else, Shipping Wars has convinced me to give independent shippers an  extremely wide berth on the freeway.
 
2013-02-12 02:09:50 PM  
wholy fark!  people actually watch these shows?
 
2013-02-12 02:17:17 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: If nothing else, Shipping Wars has convinced me to give independent shippers an extremely wide berth on the freeway.


And to not use Uship.com under any circumstances.
 
2013-02-12 03:08:44 PM  

I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"


Hester was always the worst at that.  On occasion, he actually got some good, new items that sold for real money but most of the time, he was assigning his own obscene value to absolute junk.

The others tended to be a little more reasonable, though.
 
2013-02-12 03:19:49 PM  

lc6529: Barry--shiat, I'd pay good money just to hang out with him all day. I can't even begin to imagine all the random awesomeness that must befall him in the course of an average day.


Barry is pretty cool though I don't like how he is now starting to act more like a buffoon instead of the suave debonair guy he was when the show started.   I read somewhere he is a millionaire in real life and is actually the reason
the show exists.  One of his friends came up with the idea after Barry started doing storage bidding because Barry was truly looking for antiques.   Barry and his brother used to own a organic food company or something, they ran
it for over 30 years and then sold it.   Every article I have read about Barry seems to indicate he is truly a nice guy.


Barry is one of the shows producers & has worked in Hollywood for years selling produce to the "craft" food services which is why he knows anybody & everybody.

/So this guy is a regular like the guy from Power Rangers on death row was a regular.
 
2013-02-12 03:28:08 PM  

Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.


 My uncle found his place in the back of his van, at a highway rest stop.
 
2013-02-12 03:29:04 PM  

meanmutton: I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

Hester was always the worst at that.  On occasion, he actually got some good, new items that sold for real money but most of the time, he was assigning his own obscene value to absolute junk.

The others tended to be a little more reasonable, though.


Hester bought a locker that had been the inventory of a used book store he was saying he had 10k in books for a locker he paid $500 for; yeah maybe if you opened a bookstore and sold it over a period of years.
 
2013-02-12 03:35:12 PM  

Phoenix_M: meanmutton: I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

Hester was always the worst at that.  On occasion, he actually got some good, new items that sold for real money but most of the time, he was assigning his own obscene value to absolute junk.

The others tended to be a little more reasonable, though.

Hester bought a locker that had been the inventory of a used book store he was saying he had 10k in books for a locker he paid $500 for; yeah maybe if you opened a bookstore and sold it over a period of years.


Exactly. Not to mention the overhead of transporting, sorting, pricing, storing and displaying the books. If it was that easy to sell the books that's what the previous owner would have done instead of sticking them in a storage locker.
 
2013-02-12 03:39:21 PM  

beal99: Am I the only one who thinks this chick is stoned 24/7?

[www.storagewars-texas.com image 681x461]


who cares? she;s got a great ass

I'll hit it
 
2013-02-12 03:45:33 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs

I'm more of a Robbie kind of guy:

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 676x472]

[www.aetv.com image 625x413]


I thought those two would be the biggest douches on the show. I find them to be the most likeable. Which is saying "they are the shiniest turd", yet there it is.

Yeah and she's hot of course. They both are.Yet even with the nice boobs (how mch she pay for those anyway?)the burnette has the bug eyes:sportsmasher.com

...and the look of someone who might have just pooped herself
www.jenniferbrennan.net
SEE?!
 
2013-02-12 04:00:11 PM  
Prank Call of Cthulhu: There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

The sad part is the CEO of uShip thinks having clueless characters trash goods while in transit is great P.R.. You better hurry before this guy rats 'em all out to the DOT:

http://scamship.com/ae-shipping-wars-knowingly-promotes-illegal-truc ki ng-on-uship/

Barry wasn't a bidder, the Producers knew he'd put some juice into it & brought him in for lulz
 
2013-02-12 04:24:00 PM  

I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

or

"So I found this old painting with Van Goghs name on it in a box marked, "Grandma's home decor" under a soiled mattress and next to a christmas tree.  I'm not real familiar with art but luckily I know an art buddy who is totally available to give me a free estimate of its worth!"

Art Guy: "Oh yeah, you hit the jackpot!  See this a painting by Van Gogh and even though it says reproduction at the bottom on the back with a Kmart barcode just adds to the value!  I've seen somthing like this go for a billion dollars at an art auction recently.  So you should get atleast a half a billion!"


unless you take your stuff to that pawn douche.. then it's worth maybe 10 bucks... take it or leave it.
 
Displayed 50 of 121 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report