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(Mediabistro)   "Storage Wars" cast member takes himself out of the bidding   (mediabistro.com) divider line 121
    More: Sad, carbon monoxide poisons, TMZ, cast member, Mark Balelo  
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12008 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Feb 2013 at 10:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 10:16:25 AM
YUUUUUUUUUP!
 
2013-02-12 10:21:14 AM
As long as nothing happened to Brandi's sweater kittens, I think we'll be okay.
 
2013-02-12 10:21:39 AM
I love how the USA give convicted felons "one more chance" before deporting them.

I wish I was an born somewhere else and moved the the good ole USofA.
 
2013-02-12 10:29:39 AM
Storage Wars regular Mark Balelo committed suicide on Monday by way of carbon monoxide poisoning, reportedly after learning that he was a regular on the reality television show, Storage Wars.
 
2013-02-12 10:34:26 AM
Pleasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarry p leasedon'tletitbeBarrypleasedon'tletitbeBarry...

*click*

Who? And why couldn't it have been Hester?
 
2013-02-12 10:36:08 AM
I've watched probably 30 episodes of this show and I've never seen this guy.
 
2013-02-12 10:36:23 AM
Lets all remember him for his greatest contribution to fark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95eUhuR8_ps
 
2013-02-12 10:45:19 AM
No, not the man purse!!
 
M-G
2013-02-12 10:45:47 AM

browser_snake: I've watched probably 30 episodes of this show and I've never seen this guy.


This.
 
M-G
2013-02-12 10:46:57 AM

psychoace: Lets all remember him for his greatest contribution to fark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95eUhuR8_ps


Oh...it was that idiot.
 
2013-02-12 10:50:22 AM
img.poptower.com

"That's it, folks, and don't forget to pay the ferryman!"
 
2013-02-12 10:51:36 AM

M-G: browser_snake: I've watched probably 30 episodes of this show and I've never seen this guy.

This.


He was a one several episodes of couple of seasons ago. Best one was when he thought he scored a vintage Nintendo worth thousands.
 
2013-02-12 10:54:40 AM

browser_snake: I've watched probably 30 episodes of this show and I've never seen this guy.


he was in the show for like 2 episodes I think
 
2013-02-12 10:55:04 AM
This is sad. I love this show and get a kick out of all the characters. This guy would crack me up sometimes with his bogus rich-dude shtick.
 
2013-02-12 10:56:58 AM

OtherLittleGuy: [img.poptower.com image 388x599]

"That's it, folks, and don't forget to pay the ferryman!"


This broad was most likely VERY doable a couple of decades ago.....

/And yes, still very much doable......FOLKS!
 
2013-02-12 10:57:15 AM
To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.
 
2013-02-12 11:01:01 AM

unfarkingbelievable: This is sad. I love this show and get a kick out of all the characters. This guy would crack me up sometimes with his bogus rich-dude shtick.


I wish he'd been in more episodes.  A Hester/Balelo bidding war would have been hilarious.
 
2013-02-12 11:01:26 AM

Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.


You know what they say, "you live by the storage locker, you die by the storage locker".

no one really says that. sometime I do, if I'm in a mood.
 
2013-02-12 11:03:27 AM
cdn.cnwimg.com
 
2013-02-12 11:05:52 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-12 11:09:17 AM
He made me root for Hester. He forced me to root for Hester.

That's an accomplishment.
 
2013-02-12 11:17:37 AM

OtherLittleGuy: [img.poptower.com image 388x599]

"That's it, folks, and don't forget to pay the ferryman!"


I LOL'd so hard, I don't need a new keyboard, I need new pants. And a chair. Well done.

Also, this guy was involved with drugs?

www.eonline.com
My complete lack of surprise, let me show it to you.
 
2013-02-12 11:20:47 AM

Flappyhead: No, not the man purse!!


THAT'S MY PURSE!  I DON'T KNOW YOU!
 
2013-02-12 11:20:54 AM

chewielouie: M-G: browser_snake: I've watched probably 30 episodes of this show and I've never seen this guy.

This.

He was a one several episodes of couple of seasons ago. Best one was when he thought he scored a vintage Nintendo worth thousands.


I think what he was thinking of was a game, either Stadium Events or one of the Nintendo World Championships cartridges. (The latter turned up last night on Pawn Stars in both grey and gold versions; Chumlee and the seller ended up about $15,000 apart.)
 
2013-02-12 11:23:49 AM

Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.


It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"
 
2013-02-12 11:26:41 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"


Dan did say early in the show's history that he got a buddy of his to show up at a storage auction once. Very first locker he bought, dead body inside. Turned out some guy murdered his wife and hid the body in the locker. His friend wouldn't come to any more auctions after that.
 
2013-02-12 11:27:50 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"


And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.
 
2013-02-12 11:33:31 AM

EyeballKid: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"

And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.


Barry would bid because there would be a cool looking plastic dinosaur in there.
/RIP Uberdouche
 
2013-02-12 11:36:05 AM

EyeballKid: or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.



teampetetongs.files.wordpress.com

4.bp.blogspot.com

Snrk.
 
2013-02-12 11:36:14 AM

EyeballKid: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Persnickety: To kill yourself via carbon monoxide posioning, you need to put yourself in a small enclosed place.  I wonder where he found a place like that.

It's a shame he didn't do it that way. Get a storage locker under a phony name, off himself in it without telling anyone, and then in a couple of months after the rent has been defaulted on: Best...episode...of...storage...wars...EVER!

"OK folks, we've got a 9 x 12 here, have a look inside, don't touch anything and---OH MY GOD!!!"

And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.


Barry would end up winning the locker, take it to the local Medical Examiner, who would discover it was Jimmy Hoffa. Barry would pick up the reward money.

/then again, I'd pay good money to see them try to bid on a barnful of walkers.....
 
2013-02-12 11:37:16 AM
I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Typical episode:
Dave Hester: "I paid $800 for this locker and boy did I score!  These old faded dirty jeans that I found in a trash bag I'll sell for $50 bucks a piece in my store.  This folding card table with one bent leg easy $350!  And best of all this soiled queen sized mattress with blood stains is easily going to get me $500!  Total profit eleventy billion dollars!!!"

or

"So I found this old painting with Van Goghs name on it in a box marked, "Grandma's home decor" under a soiled mattress and next to a christmas tree.  I'm not real familiar with art but luckily I know an art buddy who is totally available to give me a free estimate of its worth!"

Art Guy: "Oh yeah, you hit the jackpot!  See this a painting by Van Gogh and even though it says reproduction at the bottom on the back with a Kmart barcode just adds to the value!  I've seen somthing like this go for a billion dollars at an art auction recently.  So you should get atleast a half a billion!"
 
2013-02-12 11:44:16 AM

EyeballKid: And Hester would run the bid up just to screw with, let's say, either Brandi's husband or Wow Factor guy who looks like a replicant.


Hester's been fired. The profile from the show spurred him to move from consignment store to auction house and slap a trademark on 'yup', but the auction house tanked, he started losing money, he found he couldn't scale back down to consignment store, he went from unstoppable force to annoying gadfly to troll who barely wins anything anymore, and then he decided to take the show down with him in a hissy fit by suing it for being fake, and then the show fired his sorry ass.
 
2013-02-12 11:51:14 AM
I'd kill myself too if I was on Storage Wars
 
2013-02-12 11:51:34 AM
Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.

/Just realized he knows way more about this franchise than anyone should.
//A tailpipe, you say...
 
2013-02-12 11:52:18 AM

I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.


Hester owns his own auction house
Jarrod and the twins sell the crap in a thrift store.
Darrell sells the crap at swap meets

You have to remember most of the TV hype about values, profit, loss, etc are completely made up dramatic crap for the show. Much of that stuff they pass over as "worthless" for the cameras goes right out onto the shelves in their store/flea market table. Fifty miscellaneous doodads that sell for twenty bucks each will more than make up for the cost of most of the lockers they buy. Also, they buy stuff from other, more traditional sources as well, so it's not like the profit from the lockers is the only money they make
 
2013-02-12 11:54:12 AM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Hester owns his own auction house
Jarrod and the twins sell the crap in a thrift store.
Darrell sells the crap at swap meets

You have to remember most of the TV hype about values, profit, loss, etc are completely made up dramatic crap for the show. Much of that stuff they pass over as "worthless" for the cameras goes right out onto the shelves in their store/flea market table. Fifty miscellaneous doodads that sell for twenty bucks each will more than make up for the cost of most of the lockers they buy. Also, they buy stuff from other, more traditional sources as well, so it's not like the profit from the lockers is the only money they make


And, of course, I'm sure they earn a hefty salary to appear on (inexplicably) one of the most popular series in A&E history.
 
2013-02-12 11:55:15 AM
I enjoy Storage Wars simply for the entertainment, I agree with another poster that the value they put on items is pretty ridiculous:

IE:  Yeah those jeans with the skidmarks on the inside are worth a hundred dollar bill all day long.  Those vintage 1970's end tables are obviously antiques so I should be able to get $200.   That dirty rusty lawnmower should be worth $100 even though someone could buy a new one for about $150 on sale...

My son came by the other evening and watched it with me and came up with a pretty funny dialog, he said "What if Dave Hester had a stroke and all he could do is say YUUUUPPP!!!"

Auctioneer: "Anyone want to bid $1000? On this locker?"

Dave (Thinking) - "I'll be a smartass and say Jarod wants it"  - YUUUPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "I got $1000!  Anyone want to bid $2000?"

Dave (Thinking) - "Oh no?  Why did I say that?  I'll tell him it was a mistake!" - YUUUUPPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "$2000!  Anyone want to bid $10 grand?"

Dave (thinking) - "What's wrong with me?  I can't seem to say anything but YUP! Let me try again!"  - YUUUPPP!!!!

Darrell Sheets - "I bet ol Hester will buy that for 1 million!"

Auctioneer: "1 Million!  Do I hear 1 Million!"

Dave Hester (Thinking) - "I need medical help!  Let me try again" - YUUUUUPPPPP!!!

Auctioneer: "Sold to Dave Hester for 1 Million!"

Brandi - "Gee Dave is so happy he's crying!"

Dave Hester - "Yuuuuuppp!"
 
2013-02-12 11:57:03 AM

The Great EZE: Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.




A challenger appears....

www.aetv.com
 
2013-02-12 11:57:45 AM
Prank Call of Cthulhu  Snrk.

Hmmm...I knew Brion James, he was a funny guy.  Got hooked on painkillers after a bad car crash
R.I.P. :-(
 
2013-02-12 12:07:50 PM
Krowdaddy Chixdiggit:

This broad was most likely VERY doable a couple of decades ago.....

/And yes, still very much doable......FOLKS!



I also think, whatever her name is, storage hostess type lady...
Is most likely a hellcat in the sack. Was/is still ok looking to a point...but I get the feeling she'd do just about anything in bed and be pretty farking happy about it.
 
2013-02-12 12:09:28 PM

The Great EZE: Brand-who? The new hotness is Candy from Storage Wars New York.

/Just realized he knows way more about this franchise than anyone should.
//A tailpipe, you say...


I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.
 
2013-02-12 12:09:36 PM

lc6529: IE:  Yeah those jeans with the skidmarks on the inside are worth a hundred dollar bill all day long.


"And they're in a black plastic garbage bag! That bag is a five dollar bill all day!"

Dave would make more money by selling customers the opportunity to punch him in the face. Maybe Brandi could sell motorboats. Barry--shiat, I'd pay good money just to hang out with him all day. I can't even begin to imagine all the random awesomeness that must befall him in the course of an average day.
 
2013-02-12 12:09:43 PM
The guy has no style or he would have rented a storage unit to do the deed.
 
2013-02-12 12:15:04 PM

The Great EZE: Ctrl-Alt-Del: I am Wee Todd Ed: I still don't get how the Storage Wars guys make money.

Hester owns his own auction house
Jarrod and the twins sell the crap in a thrift store.
Darrell sells the crap at swap meets

You have to remember most of the TV hype about values, profit, loss, etc are completely made up dramatic crap for the show. Much of that stuff they pass over as "worthless" for the cameras goes right out onto the shelves in their store/flea market table. Fifty miscellaneous doodads that sell for twenty bucks each will more than make up for the cost of most of the lockers they buy. Also, they buy stuff from other, more traditional sources as well, so it's not like the profit from the lockers is the only money they make

And, of course, I'm sure they earn a hefty salary to appear on (inexplicably) one of the most popular series in A&E history.


Now that it's popular and has some spinoffs, I'd guess somewhere in the neighborhood of 20K or more per episode plus some expense reimbursement, and maybe a signing bonus. But If they made 5K per episode in season 1 it would have been a lot...

As for popularity, I hate to admit that I love to watch the show, even though I know the drama is completely fake. I suspect (hope)  it was originally a bunch of real buyers who were encouraged by the producers to either exaggerate or invent various interpersonal dramas. Sadly, all of the spinoff shows are completely unwatchable to me - just too fake and stupid even for me
 
2013-02-12 12:15:29 PM

Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.


There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

www.jenniferbrennan.net

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs
 
2013-02-12 12:15:55 PM
One down, all of the rest to go.
 
2013-02-12 12:21:39 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


I'm not a truck driver but I am an independent contractor of sorts. It's always nice to know that no matter how bad a project I'm having I can't possibly be worse than Garrett.
 
2013-02-12 12:28:12 PM

psychoace: Lets all remember him for his greatest contribution to fark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95eUhuR8_ps


The only thing that could make that clip better is if there was more "sad trombone" in it.
 
2013-02-12 12:29:30 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gosling: I don't need the spinoffs. One storage-locker show is enough for me.

There's always Shipping Wars. It's not without its charms.

[www.jenniferbrennan.net image 633x457]

It's fun to watch people who grossly incompetent--almost criminally negligent--at their jobs


Man I would fark her brains out....oh wait.....yea.....
 
2013-02-12 12:30:12 PM
i26.photobucket.com
i26.photobucket.com
Nabila looks like she would throw ya a good fark
 
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