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(Seattle Times)   The Bitter Barista won't have that crappy job or stupid boss to blog about any more   (seattletimes.com) divider line 132
    More: Dumbass, Bitter Barista  
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16141 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 11:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-12 09:28:21 AM  
"What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.
 
2013-02-12 09:39:54 AM  
In the words of a nice TV judge, Marilyn Milian. "Say it, forget it, write it, regret it.
 
2013-02-12 10:06:25 AM  
This is not surprising.
 
2013-02-12 10:10:27 AM  

Yet this guy's been doing the same thing for years and even has a book



Our Valued Customers

/I thought the Bitter Barista was just as snarky/funny as Our Valued Customers
//Guys who outed him are probably just upset they didn't think of it first.
 
2013-02-12 10:16:41 AM  
Well, it was no Waiter Rant, that's for sure.
 
2013-02-12 10:46:48 AM  
he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.
 
2013-02-12 10:49:50 AM  
He should buy a donkey and a big ole floppy 49ers hat and go "Spekulatin'" for some golden beats.
 
2013-02-12 11:08:22 AM  
From his blog:

"My ex boss thinks the website is going to stop because I don't work there anymore. Man, I didn't even work there when I worked there!"

(Although the exclamation point is the blogging equivalent of laughing at your own joke!)
 
2013-02-12 11:15:21 AM  
Action have consequences. No surprise there.
 
2013-02-12 11:17:28 AM  
Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.
 
2013-02-12 11:18:41 AM  
FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...
 
2013-02-12 11:19:14 AM  
Now his hip hop "career" is finally set to bloom!

/lol
//he should redirect all that anger back at himself
 
2013-02-12 11:21:35 AM  
Did he visit another coffee shop so people could see him blogging?
 
2013-02-12 11:22:59 AM  

brap: He should buy a donkey and a big ole floppy 49ers hat and go "Spekulatin'" for some golden beats.


Bravo!
 
2013-02-12 11:25:22 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.


Eh, I have a philosophy degree and I'm doing alright for myself. The degree in and of itself isn't necessarily a poor life choice.
 
2013-02-12 11:25:24 AM  
Good. He sounds like an insufferable little douche bag, and he wasn't satirizing shiat. That's plain old retail worker frustration venting.
 
2013-02-12 11:28:00 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Don't you just hate it when someone reinforces the stereotype
 
2013-02-12 11:29:36 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Right, dude.  You look down your nose at him now but just you wait until his hip-hop alter ego "Spekulation" explodes.  You're going to eat your words that day.
 
2013-02-12 11:30:09 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Does that mean he has to order the double hemlock latte with a pinch of cinnamon?
 
2013-02-12 11:30:50 AM  
Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?
 
2013-02-12 11:30:59 AM  

buttery_shame_cave: FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...


Yes, this is two Starbucks across the street from each other on Street View.

(That Barnes and Noble serves Starbucks too.)
 
2013-02-12 11:31:02 AM  
What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB
 
2013-02-12 11:32:02 AM  
I know this is a common joke but he soooo comes off as a Farker. No, that's not a compliment.
 
2013-02-12 11:35:19 AM  
Philosophy.
Pours coffee.
Wants to rap.


Mommy and Daddy failed...and failed HARD.
 
2013-02-12 11:37:01 AM  
What a dickhead.
What's his Fark ID?
 
pla
2013-02-12 11:37:16 AM  
SnarfVader : And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.

Came here to say that. You beat me to it. Good work!

Free hint, Gen-Y/Z/whatever... All those idiot coming through the door talking about gluten and decaf; the complete bastard giving you your daily marching orders and taking all the highest-tipping shifts for himself; the suited idiots at corporate HQ to whom you wouldn't give a glass of warm piss if you found them dying in the desert...

Those asshats pay your wages. You can think whatever you want of them, but at the end of the day, if you haven't left them feeling like they just got a BJ from Chasey Lain - You gonna starve in the gutter biatch!
 
2013-02-12 11:39:40 AM  
I find it funny that he would punish people for asking and confirming decaf.  Really dude?  You are going to punish someone that wanted to verify that you do your job correctly.  They wouldn't need to verify if you didn't give everyone caffeinated coffee in the first place.
 
2013-02-12 11:41:01 AM  

lendog: I find it funny that he would punish people for asking and confirming decaf.  Really dude?  You are going to punish someone that wanted to verify that you do your job correctly.  They wouldn't need to verify if you didn't give everyone caffeinated coffee in the first place.


He's better than you. Who are you to question him?
 
2013-02-12 11:44:39 AM  
It is unlikely he really loved his job, so the employer probably did him a favor. Free publicity, too.
 
2013-02-12 11:45:49 AM  
FTA:  A New Jersey native, he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University in Pennsylvania and came to Seattle in 2005 because "I followed a girl."

Fits the stereotype perfectly for a barista...........
 
2013-02-12 11:46:57 AM  
The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."

Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night douchebag. Four years of partying and powderpuff classes makes him pretty much exactly as qualified as a barista needs to be.
 
2013-02-12 11:48:48 AM  

umad: The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."

Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night douchebag. Four years of partying and powderpuff classes makes him pretty much exactly as qualified as a barista needs to be.


I bet he's biatching about his student loans too.
 
2013-02-12 11:50:41 AM  
I fail to care in any way.
 
2013-02-12 11:52:25 AM  

Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB


Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of them have to pay for their own gas and auto maintenance. The tips are important to them. So your three bucks wasn't as generous as you thought. You could have simply and kindly responded with "Oh, I understand. I left a $3 tip on the credit card." Instead, you got all self important and copped a "I can be rude to a mere pizza delivery guy" attitude and treated him like shiat. This is never justifiable. Your next pizza may have the special spooge and spit toppings.
 
2013-02-12 11:52:29 AM  

Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB


Whereas I just always ask if the tip came through on the online sale to avoid any such issues with the delivery guy.

/plus sometimes the managers will steal it
//with some systems they're the only one who actually sees the slip with the money on it
 
2013-02-12 11:53:28 AM  
Is he trying to be funny? Cause he's not. His blog is farking awful. What's with the massive fonts?
 
2013-02-12 11:54:11 AM  
And he is not clever, "Every time someone orders an extra-hot-no-foam latte, an angel rapes a puppy.".
 
Ask
2013-02-12 11:57:11 AM  

WhippingBoy: Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?


Probably because we don't have a degree in philosophy.
 
2013-02-12 11:59:19 AM  
I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.
 
2013-02-12 11:59:53 AM  

Ask: WhippingBoy: Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?

Probably because we don't have a degree in philosophy.


Exactly. And don't you forget it.
 
2013-02-12 12:00:33 PM  

GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.


He's a tooloser.
 
2013-02-12 12:01:09 PM  
It's too bad he can't be fired from blogging too.
 
2013-02-12 12:04:31 PM  

WhippingBoy


GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


Tooloser Lautrec
 
2013-02-12 12:05:48 PM  

JackieRabbit: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of t ...


I acted like an asshole to him because he acted like one first.  If he had found a less asinine way to inquire about whether he was getting a tip from me, he would have received a nicer response.  However, as I mentioned, the receipt that he held in his hand had it printed out line-item detail.  I've worked plenty of shiatty jobs, even been a delivery guy (flowers not pizzas), and the one thing you never do is piss off your customers.  At least it's actually customary to tip the pizza guy.  When I had my delivery job I was lucky to get one or two tips a week and some of those orders were much more expensive than anyone's pizza.  You know how many times I insulted a customer, intentionally or otherwise, because of it?  Zero.  And if I had and my bosses heard about it, they would have justifiably fired me because I would have been hurting their business.
 
2013-02-12 12:07:02 PM  

WhippingBoy: GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


What about just "Loool"?
 
2013-02-12 12:08:24 PM  
"A New Jersey native, he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University in Pennsylvania and came to Seattle in 2005 because "I followed a girl."
He's now married to a different woman, and they live in a Capitol Hill apartment.
The barista job, Watson says, was to help make ends meet while he pursued a career as a hip hop artist going by the name "Spekulation." That's what he means about baristas being artistic types."


So many poor life choices in this, I dont even know where to begin....
 
2013-02-12 12:08:52 PM  

WhippingBoy: GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


or a Toser, known also as a Tosser.
 
2013-02-12 12:09:52 PM  
"he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University"
"The barista job, Watson says, was to help make ends meet while he pursued a career as a hip hop artist going by the name "Spekulation." "

i118.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 12:11:26 PM  
My hip hop name is Modus Tollens, ModTone for short.
 
2013-02-12 12:16:16 PM  
Would it possible to have a Lehigh Trifecta?  That seems ludicrous on the face of it, but between this and the C- lawsuit a few threads down . . .
 
2013-02-12 12:19:27 PM  
Chuggo, is that you!?!?!?!
 
2013-02-12 12:23:53 PM  
My hip-hop name is Konstipashun. I gots so many phat beats inside me that I'm gonna explode.
 
2013-02-12 12:26:29 PM  

JackieRabbit: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of t ...


when you order online, the system processes all that stuff out automatically, totally hands-off on the pizza place's part.

which is pretty awesome because our local domino's can't get anything BUT an online order right. it would be funny if it weren't so sad, having to send back a walk-in order TWICE because they couldn't get it right.
 
2013-02-12 12:26:30 PM  
"I would remember your usual drink if you were a more memorable person."

You're overwhelming averageness is such a drag
So fix the situation or wear a name tag
 
2013-02-12 12:28:01 PM  
I've never met a Philosophy major who didn't think he/she was better than me.  I'd like to be proven wrong about that, someday...

G*ddamn, I hate Philosophy majors!

/English major
 
2013-02-12 12:30:15 PM  
This dude's resume must be hilarious.
 
2013-02-12 12:31:24 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.


Well, you could always take your philosophy degree and be a jet pilot for the Navy,. like my old college roomie. Of course, THAT's a loser career working for the government.
 
2013-02-12 12:35:37 PM  

JackieRabbit: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of t ...


Given the context, this response is priceless.
 
2013-02-12 12:43:56 PM  
Carn:  ...After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies....

Yeah, I've run into a handful of arse-hat servers over the years that make light of gluten allergies like this little turd. It's a farking painful thing to have to go through and I wish I could make him live it for a few days - it's not a thing to freaking joke about.
 
2013-02-12 12:46:06 PM  
What a douche-blogger!
 
2013-02-12 12:48:50 PM  

Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB


I see this attitude a lot on fark. Elitist douche bags who look down on people for being baristas or delivery guys. I hope that dude wiped his nut sack all over your pizza you farking dickwad.
 
2013-02-12 12:50:35 PM  
The irony is he may get another barista job,  but he'll be forced to get every order correct from now on; anyone he intentionally gives the wrong item could certainly sue if the reaction is bad enough.  Read a story once posted by a diabetic girl who ended up getting several regular cokes instead of diet because the waitress thought "she was skinny and didn't need a diet drink."  Good way to kill someone.

I noticed the second he was called on it he was backpedaling as well and trying to spin it positively for  his boss to save that oh so declasee and boring job.  Fark you and the high horse you rode in on, buddy.  GTFO.
 
2013-02-12 12:50:58 PM  
All I can say is that from a design perspective, his design is atrocious. And his writing is actually worse. And I say this as a bitter 20-something (well, not too bitter anymore, and almost not a 20-something, but still...). It actually makes me seriously embarrassed to be a gen-Y creative type, and if he gets a coffee table book, I might track this asshole down and punch him in the cock.

Also, can we please drop this whole "Baristas are creative artists who only sling coffee to pay the bills until their careers take off, and are way overqualified to sell coffee, anyway" shtick? The unemployment rate for BA holders is under 4%, and that's not counting freelancing. If you have any kind of marketable skill, you shouldn't ever have to work in a coffee shop for minimum wage. Go out and make your own damn job. Or go into a related field. With a philosophy degree, you should have no problems getting into a corporate ethics program, and those jobs are growing like crazy, and pay decently well.
 
2013-02-12 12:51:03 PM  

BunkoSquad: "What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.


+1.  I would wear it to every family get together.
 
2013-02-12 12:51:42 PM  

YixilTesiphon: buttery_shame_cave: FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...

Yes, this is two Starbucks across the street from each other on Street View.

(That Barnes and Noble serves Starbucks too.)


I'm sick and tired of all the Starbucks bashing.
 I met my wife at a Starbucks.
Not at the same Starbucks, but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.
 
2013-02-12 12:54:32 PM  

zeroeffect: Yeah, I've run into a handful of arse-hat servers over the years that make light of gluten allergies like this little turd. It's a farking painful thing to have to go through and I wish I could make him live it for a few days - it's not a thing to freaking joke about.


Unfortunately for people you, the diet trend followers and hypochondriacs have soured people on the gluten allergy thing IMO.  They use a gluten allergy as a cover for their low carb diet cause it sounds cooler. And the hypochondriac-by-proxy (if that's even a term) assign every allergy in the book to their snowflakes to protect them from God knows what. Whether they actually have them or not.
 
2013-02-12 12:56:07 PM  

Maud Dib: I'm sick and tired of all the Starbucks bashing.
I met my wife at a Starbucks.
Not at the same Starbucks, but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.


Okay I lold
 
2013-02-12 01:00:08 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: WhippingBoy

GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


Tooloser Lautrec


images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-12 01:02:04 PM  

BunkoSquad: "What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.


Anyone claiming an allergy should be treated like they have a farking allergy. I don't care if there are a hundred liars for every honest afflicted person or not.

I say as a former server of ten years, it isn't hard to accomidate people.

Go fark yourself.
 
2013-02-12 01:03:57 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.


Eh, I would bet 100% of service staff biatch about their jobs, just like 100% of everyone I know in any job does. Writing it in a public forum is stupid though.
 
2013-02-12 01:07:13 PM  
FTA: Watson says that his blog was satire and that he was just accentuating "the 5 percent who I guess make our job more difficult and don't treat us as human beings. I had a good personal relationship with 95 percent of customers." He says he thought very highly of his boss, Seth Levy.
The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."
And here they are, working for minimum wage plus tips, which for Watson totaled about $15 an hour for a job that for him started at 6 in the morning.


I believe a "fark you" is in order for this self-important douchebag. Why?

Read that again. His implication is that he's just too damned important for this job. "I'm college-educated, for Christ's sake, yet I'm stuck here working for minimum wage plus tips - you need to be nicer to me, because I'm better than the usual peon forced to work for minimum wage plus tips. Otherwise, I'm going to deliberately fark with your order and then laugh up my sleeve about it on an attention-whoring blog." This guy is allegedly a hip-hop artist, just doing this job to make ends meet while he pursues his dream - and you're in his damned way, as far as he's concerned. You're a necessary evil, a pain in his ass that he has to deal with just to get paid. Apparently, you're not only expected to pay him, but to build a good relationship with him, too, if you want a damned coffee prepared as requested - even though that's his damned job.

I hate arrogant, self-entitled, "I'm too good for ths" folks who whine because their dreams aren't being fulfilled by the job they're currently doing, and think it's somehow OK to take it out instead on the folks for whom they're getting paid to provide services or products. I've done everything from shovel chicken shiat to write code, and while dealing with customers can be a pain in the ass sometimes, that's part of the job. If you're too good for the job, get another damned job. But, no, that would eat into his "trying to become a hip-hop artist" time, and so he'll just whine about how he's such an overqualified artist, with a college education, stuck serving coffee to people who don't see him as the rising star he so wants to be.

Fark him.
 
2013-02-12 01:09:04 PM  
Smackledorfer

"What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.

Anyone claiming an allergy should be treated like they have a farking allergy. I don't care if there are a hundred liars for every honest afflicted person or not.

I say as a former server of ten years, it isn't hard to accomidate people.

Go fark yourself.



 Defective people such as yourself ought to live a more insulated life to protect yourself from all the normal things the rest of us deal with daily.
That boy in the plastic bubble didn't spend all his time yelling at normal people to remove everything that might make him sick. He mostly stayed at home. So should you.
 
2013-02-12 01:10:55 PM  

FormlessOne: FTA: Watson says that his blog was satire and that he was just accentuating "the 5 percent who I guess make our job more difficult and don't treat us as human beings. I had a good personal relationship with 95 percent of customers." He says he thought very highly of his boss, Seth Levy.
The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."
And here they are, working for minimum wage plus tips, which for Watson totaled about $15 an hour for a job that for him started at 6 in the morning.

I believe a "fark you" is in order for this self-important douchebag. Why? ...


d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net
 
2013-02-12 01:15:27 PM  
I bothered to read about 30 or so items off his blog.  He is a horrible writer and not even remotely funny.  Some people are geniuses with short-form humor... not this guy.
 
2013-02-12 01:19:41 PM  

keepitcherry: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

I see this attitude a lot on fark. Elitist douche bags who look down on people for being baristas or delivery guys. I hope that dude wiped his nut sack all over your pizza you farking dickwad.


A) I've been a delivery guy, as well as many other shiatty jobs
B) The people in question (guy in article and my story) are assholes and probably still will be regardless of whatever work they find next.  When someone treats me like a dick I respond in kind.  If you believe that this single event out of all the hundreds of times I've had some food delivered to my house makes me a farking dickwad I must question your reasoning skills.  I treat everyone politely and with respect until they give me a reason not to.  Having been on the other side of the situation, as I said above, even if I really wasn't giving the guy a tip it's still no reason for him to be an asshole.  This is why I was reminded of this CSB when I read the article about the barista being fired (deservedly so).  But hey, believe what you want.
 
2013-02-12 01:29:45 PM  

pla: SnarfVader : And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.

Came here to say that. You beat me to it. Good work!

Free hint, Gen-Y/Z/whatever... All those idiot coming through the door talking about gluten and decaf; the complete bastard giving you your daily marching orders and taking all the highest-tipping shifts for himself; the suited idiots at corporate HQ to whom you wouldn't give a glass of warm piss if you found them dying in the desert...

Those asshats pay your wages. You can think whatever you want of them, but at the end of the day, if you haven't left them feeling like they just got a BJ from Chasey Lain - You gonna starve in the gutter biatch!


You are showing our age there dude.
 
2013-02-12 01:32:02 PM  
Starbucks new slogan " We try to hire people who dont hate you"
 
2013-02-12 01:32:03 PM  
"I'm supposed to be looking down on you, lowly barista! How dare you turn the tables on me?!?!"
 
2013-02-12 01:36:13 PM  
keepitcherry:

I see this attitude a lot on fark. Elitist douche bags who look down on people for being baristas or delivery guys. I hope that dude wiped his nut sack all over your pizza you farking dickwad.

Let me explain my contempt.

Some people are servers because its the best job they can get.  They don't have much in the way of education, they didn't get a lot of opportunities in life to get a start on a good career, they're doing the best they can.  I respect these people.  Incidentally, in my experience they don't look down on their customers as all idiots unworthy of their brief attention.

And some live in a place where all there are are minimum wage (and under) service jobs.  I feel bad for those folks.

But there are some who live in a place where there are some pretty good jobs. People who had opportunities to get an education, network, gain skills.

Now I don't disrespect someone like that for being a barista or a waiter or a delivery guy.  I do disrespect them when they're whiny, think the world owes them a better life, and look down on their customers.  Those customers you resent?  Maybe if you had some ambition, and put more time in to your career than your blog, you'd be on the other side of that counter, picking up a capalatte and worried about getting a parking ticket on your 3 series.
 
2013-02-12 01:37:23 PM  
If the quotes from TFA are an accurate representation of his work, the firing seems well-deserved.
 
2013-02-12 01:37:37 PM  
Nothing against baristas or delivery guys but WTF re: caffeine and allergy concerns.  Clearly those customers with medical conditions are unreasonable in wanting to make sure that the food or beverage they're paying you to provide won't harm them.  How dare they think that I might have forgotten the special instruction for their order.  I'll intentionally ignore those instructions, confirming their low opinion of me, to teach them not to question me.

/ Philosophy teaches critical thinking.
 
2013-02-12 01:38:27 PM  
Since I live in Atlanta, I can wish Mr. Bitter Barista good luck on his hip-hop career. Self promoting hip-hop artists here are more abundant than coffee shops in Seattle. However, it might be interesting to hear this dude rap about epistemology, metaphysics, and especially ethics. I am sure his audience will be huge in that basement makeshift cafe.
 
2013-02-12 01:42:16 PM  

Lusiphur: All I can say is that from a design perspective, his design is atrocious. And his writing is actually worse. And I say this as a bitter 20-something (well, not too bitter anymore, and almost not a 20-something, but still...). It actually makes me seriously embarrassed to be a gen-Y creative type, and if he gets a coffee table book, I might track this asshole down and punch him in the cock.

Also, can we please drop this whole "Baristas are creative artists who only sling coffee to pay the bills until their careers take off, and are way overqualified to sell coffee, anyway" shtick? The unemployment rate for BA holders is under 4%, and that's not counting freelancing. If you have any kind of marketable skill, you shouldn't ever have to work in a coffee shop for minimum wage. Go out and make your own damn job. Or go into a related field. With a philosophy degree, you should have no problems getting into a corporate ethics program, and those jobs are growing like crazy, and pay decently well.


His personal ethics are now publicly shaky (at best). Would that help him or hurt him in corporate ethics?

Guess he could go to law school. If he found a way to pay for it...
 
2013-02-12 01:50:19 PM  

MisterRonbo: keepitcherry:

I see this attitude a lot on fark. Elitist douche bags who look down on people for being baristas or delivery guys. I hope that dude wiped his nut sack all over your pizza you farking dickwad.

Let me explain my contempt.

Some people are servers because its the best job they can get.  They don't have much in the way of education, they didn't get a lot of opportunities in life to get a start on a good career, they're doing the best they can.  I respect these people.  Incidentally, in my experience they don't look down on their customers as all idiots unworthy of their brief attention.

And some live in a place where all there are are minimum wage (and under) service jobs.  I feel bad for those folks.

But there are some who live in a place where there are some pretty good jobs. People who had opportunities to get an education, network, gain skills.

Now I don't disrespect someone like that for being a barista or a waiter or a delivery guy.  I do disrespect them when they're whiny, think the world owes them a better life, and look down on their customers.  Those customers you resent?  Maybe if you had some ambition, and put more time in to your career than your blog, you'd be on the other side of that counter, picking up a capalatte and worried about getting a parking ticket on your 3 series.


But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.
 
2013-02-12 01:57:15 PM  
Wow...just wow:
1. The "it's satire" excuse. Maybe he should consider what he says so it's unmistakably satire. Or, perhaps, look up "satire" and consider its function.
2. Hold on, brochacho -- the BA in philosophy DIDN'T translate into a career?!?
3. "Baristas are artistic types" = He's an unknown hip-hop artist...Spekulation?
4. Now he's even failed at being a barista because he's got a big mouth.
**golf clap**
 
2013-02-12 01:59:36 PM  

99.998er: Since I live in Atlanta, I can wish Mr. Bitter Barista good luck on his hip-hop career. Self promoting hip-hop artists here are more abundant than coffee shops in Seattle. However, it might be interesting to hear this dude rap about epistemology, metaphysics, and especially ethics. I am sure his audience will be huge in that basement makeshift cafe.


But then he might get caught up in that whole east coast deconstructionist vs west coast logical positivism feud, and you do NOT want to get caught up in that shiat. You want to end up like Derrida?

A year ago I started getting involved in my local arts scene.  There are some, like me, who find it a fun, creative outlet, a nice hobby that lets you meet some interesting people.

Then there are the ones who have crappy minimum wage jobs they hate, no prospects, over 25 and still living with their parents.  They really, really want to think they're going to make it big if they just keep trying hard enough.

Even worse, most of them are doomed for the same reason they have no career: they're lazy, disorganized, can't show up on time, never put in any effort beyond the least amount, never agonize over something trying to make it as good as possible.  Don't know how to network, build up favors, or even market themselves in the simplest ways.
 
2013-02-12 02:00:32 PM  

nickeyx: But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.


Look, bean-monkey. Just serve me my coffee, mkay? In this world, there are winners and losers...
 
2013-02-12 02:04:51 PM  

WhippingBoy: nickeyx: But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

Look, bean-monkey. Just serve me my coffee, mkay? In this world, there are winners and losers...


This is true, but things can change in the blink of an eye making a winner into a loser. Karma is a biatch - better hope you stay on that winning side cock sucker.
 
2013-02-12 02:15:11 PM  

WhippingBoy: nickeyx: But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

Look, bean-monkey. Just serve me my coffee, mkay? In this world, there are winners and losers...


Bean-monkey.  I like that.  I hope to be using it in a sentence before week's end.
 
2013-02-12 02:15:32 PM  
"You can say '2% milk' all damn day. You're getting whole milk."

Why do all of his asshole customers repeat their requests over and over?

I...oh. That's why.

/You're the problem, dumbass.
 
2013-02-12 02:16:52 PM  
nickeyx:

But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop.

Because asking for something multiple times is throwing a tantrum.  Okay, bunky.

That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others.

Not the ones I know. They have problems with people who don't tip, and I hear a lot of racial stuff (white servers, black customers).  The ones who look down are a small number: usually they work somewhere with customers who make pretty good money, such as a fine dining place. They've been in the job for years and aren't going anywhere. They see customers who make a farkton more money than them and are resentful.

YMMV

Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return.

And when, say, 80% of the customers do that, and 20% are d-bags, most are sensible enough to take the good with the bad. Some don't, and start hating all of the customers. Getting all passive-aggressive: oh, if you ask me for decaf just one more time, even though I've not made eye contact or otherwise made you too confident that I'm paying attention to what you're saying, oh I'm going to mess with you.

Here's another news flash: many times how you get treated is based on what the customer right before you, who was a d-bag, did to the server's attitude.

 I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

No, I'm the douche bag who is a customer.  At the moment, my time is important - I'm waiting for you to make me some coffee.  If I stand around talking to my friends or on the phone before ordering, that's cool.  If you're doing that when you should be taking my order, making my order, cleaning up a table so I don't have to feel like I'm eating on a rotation in a prison cafeteria - its not.

I know how to use a coffee pot. Be glad I'm too lazy to do it sometimes or you wouldn't have a farking job.
 
2013-02-12 02:24:56 PM  

MisterRonbo: nickeyx:

But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop.

Because asking for something multiple times is throwing a tantrum.  Okay, bunky.

That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others.

Not the ones I know. They have problems with people who don't tip, and I hear a lot of racial stuff (white servers, black customers).  The ones who look down are a small number: usually they work somewhere with customers who make pretty good money, such as a fine dining place. They've been in the job for years and aren't going anywhere. They see customers who make a farkton more money than them and are resentful.

YMMV

Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return.

And when, say, 80% of the customers do that, and 20% are d-bags, most are sensible enough to take the good with the bad. Some don't, and start hating all of the customers. Getting all passive-aggressive: oh, if you ask me for decaf just one more time, even though I've not made eye contact or otherwise made you too confident that I'm paying attention to what you're saying, oh I'm going to mess with you.

Here's another news flash: many times how you get treated is based on what the customer right before you, who was a d-bag, did to the server's attitude.

 I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

No, I'm the douche bag who is a customer.  At the moment, my time is important - I'm waiting for you to make me some coffee.  If I stand around talking to my friends or on the phone before ordering, that's cool.  If you're doing that when you should be taking my order, making my order, cleaning up a table so I don't have to feel like I'm eating on a rotation in a prison cafete ...


If only you knew how much phlegm and bodily fluids you've consumed due to your attitude , lol.
 
2013-02-12 02:28:37 PM  

zeroeffect: Carn:  ...After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies....

Yeah, I've run into a handful of arse-hat servers over the years that make light of gluten allergies like this little turd. It's a farking painful thing to have to go through and I wish I could make him live it for a few days - it's not a thing to freaking joke about.



THANK YOU.  Having colonoscopies is NOT a good time!  I'm not in this for a conversation piece.  It's a real thing for a lot of us!!
 
2013-02-12 02:42:25 PM  

fastfxr: Philosophy.
Pours coffee.
Wants to rap.

Mommy and Daddy failed...and failed HARD.


Because it's not his fault he made bad choices?
Standard approach: he followed his bliss, didn't plan ahead, and now it's someone else's responsibility.

How about no.
 
2013-02-12 02:43:42 PM  

keepitcherry: MisterRonbo: nickeyx:

But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop.

Because asking for something multiple times is throwing a tantrum.  Okay, bunky.

That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others.

Not the ones I know. They have problems with people who don't tip, and I hear a lot of racial stuff (white servers, black customers).  The ones who look down are a small number: usually they work somewhere with customers who make pretty good money, such as a fine dining place. They've been in the job for years and aren't going anywhere. They see customers who make a farkton more money than them and are resentful.

YMMV

Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return.

And when, say, 80% of the customers do that, and 20% are d-bags, most are sensible enough to take the good with the bad. Some don't, and start hating all of the customers. Getting all passive-aggressive: oh, if you ask me for decaf just one more time, even though I've not made eye contact or otherwise made you too confident that I'm paying attention to what you're saying, oh I'm going to mess with you.

Here's another news flash: many times how you get treated is based on what the customer right before you, who was a d-bag, did to the server's attitude.

 I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

No, I'm the douche bag who is a customer.  At the moment, my time is important - I'm waiting for you to make me some coffee.  If I stand around talking to my friends or on the phone before ordering, that's cool.  If you're doing that when you should be taking my order, making my order, cleaning up a table so I don't have to feel like I'm eating on a rotation in a ...


If only you knew how much phlegm and bodily fluids you've consumed due to your attitude , lol.

This is why I only go to bikini stands. Hot half naked chicks that do a much better job of making my coffee than any retarded hipster bean-monkey (that is an awesome term), and I watch the whole process and can see everything they're putting into my coffee. And boobies.
 
2013-02-12 02:44:43 PM  
I think this guy is actually pretty clever.

I mean, really, who else would've spelled "Spekulation" with a "k"?
 
2013-02-12 02:44:59 PM  
bryanoji.com

Young woman is OMG NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY when judge gives her jail time for giving him the finger in court.

All I thought about when reading this article.  I mean, who would ever have thought that a person working a Customer Service position could get fired for giving deliberateely bad customer service?  I mean, that is soooooooo unfair!  And getting fired for insulting your boss?  Like, you can't do that!  It's, like, against the constitution... or something.
 
2013-02-12 02:50:12 PM  
Having a degree in philosophy does not make you over-qualified as a barista, it makes you perfectly qualified.

There's a reason degrees in communications, philosophy, literature, etc. are referred to as "pre-barista" or "pre-retail."
 
2013-02-12 02:51:42 PM  
I know just how this guy feels. I, too, am working a dead end job while I wait for my carrier writing My Little Pony fanfiction to land me a sweet writing contract. I'm totally working on the next Fifty Shades of Gray!

Oh wait, no. I have a degree in engineering and make a good salary in a low cost of living area where I rarely have to put up with snow or blizzards.

Sorry. I got confused between myself and a complete loser for a second.

/complete is the import word there
 
2013-02-12 02:53:22 PM  

99.998er: Since I live in Atlanta, I can wish Mr. Bitter Barista good luck on his hip-hop career. Self promoting hip-hop artists here are more abundant than coffee shops in Seattle. However, it might be interesting to hear this dude rap about epistemology, metaphysics, and especially ethics. I am sure his audience will be huge in that basement makeshift cafe.


That seems almost so ridiculously niche that you might be able to lure in hipsters.

/Y'all jus' be hatin' on 'im 'cause he doin' what ya Kant."
//apostrophe
 
2013-02-12 02:55:33 PM  
Philosophy degree from Lehigh University? Maybe UPENN. I'd even accept Temple. But Lehigh? LOL.
 
2013-02-12 02:57:31 PM  

kitsuneymg: I know just how this guy feels. I, too, am working a dead end job while I wait for my carrier writing My Little PonyTwilight fanfiction to land me a sweet writing contract. I'm totally working on the next Fifty Shades of Gray!


Depressingly enough, there IS precedent...
 
2013-02-12 02:58:10 PM  
keepitcherry:
If only you knew how much phlegm and bodily fluids you've consumed due to your attitude , lol.

This is why I only go to bikini stands. Hot half naked chicks that do a much better job of making my coffee than any retarded hipster bean-monkey (that is an awesome term), and I watch the whole process and can see everything they're putting into my coffee. And boobies.


Uh, you do realize that at any coffee shop you can watch them make your coffee.

As for restaurants, I mostly eat at local places where I'm a regular and the staff knows me. Its a small town, I socialize with a lot of them outside of their jobs. Considering how often they find a way to knock my bill down or give me an ITB discount (even though I'm not ITB), I'd say they're probably not hacking in to my food.

But hey, when you don't have anything substantive, go with something both childish and defying simple logic (look, I'm in Starbucks, and can't possibly see them making my coffee, why I bet they're spitting in it while using their magic invisibility cloak!).
 
2013-02-12 03:07:33 PM  

ProfessorOhki: 99.998er: Since I live in Atlanta, I can wish Mr. Bitter Barista good luck on his hip-hop career. Self promoting hip-hop artists here are more abundant than coffee shops in Seattle. However, it might be interesting to hear this dude rap about epistemology, metaphysics, and especially ethics. I am sure his audience will be huge in that basement makeshift cafe.

That seems almost so ridiculously niche that you might be able to lure in hipsters.

/Y'all jus' be hatin' on 'im 'cause he doin' what ya Kant."
//apostrophe


Maybe you are on to something. I will have my peeps get in touch with your peeps.
 
2013-02-12 03:09:48 PM  

doubled99: Smackledorfer

"What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.

Anyone claiming an allergy should be treated like they have a farking allergy. I don't care if there are a hundred liars for every honest afflicted person or not.

I say as a former server of ten years, it isn't hard to accomidate people.

Go fark yourself.


 Defective people such as yourself ought to live a more insulated life to protect yourself from all the normal things the rest of us deal with daily.
That boy in the plastic bubble didn't spend all his time yelling at normal people to remove everything that might make him sick. He mostly stayed at home. So should you.


Nice try. I have no allergies that I know of.
 
2013-02-12 03:13:42 PM  

keepitcherry: WhippingBoy: nickeyx: But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

Look, bean-monkey. Just serve me my coffee, mkay? In this world, there are winners and losers...

This is true, but things can change in the blink of an eye making a winner into a loser. Karma is a biatch - better hope you stay on that winning side cock sucker.


No. This is just what losers tell themselves so that they can sleep at night.

Take everything away from a winner, and he'll be back on top in a reasonable amount of time (that's what makes him a winner).

Give everything to a loser, and he'll eventually be back on bottom (for example, people who win $10M in a lottery and are broke within 2 years).
 
2013-02-12 03:43:34 PM  
My hero

There is a little known fact that when you, the patient, call in your prescription numbers we usually get started on filling them. Oh, by 'little known fact' I really mean common farking sense.

So when you, the patient, call in 10 rx numbers, you can probably safely assume that we are going to start filling them. We are going to fill them with staff that the store pays for to fill prescriptions. The store gets to pay for their employees with money gained from filling your prescriptions. Again, I realize this is farking rocket science to some people, but to the majority of the non-paste eaters out there this is as surprising as not-winning when you play the Lotto.

Therefore, when you the patient come in to pick up your 10 rx's (which if you didnt think they would be filled why the fark would you come in), and decide to tell ME (of all people) "Oh, well these are a bit expensive can you transfer them to Walmart" why in the fark would you would be shocked when I say "No". I mean its not like you paid THE EXACT SAME farkING COPAYS LAST MONTH. So this month copays shouldn't be any surprise you dim-witted sack of shiat. Did the medication-fairy magically make the drugs free? Did we have a bumper crop on the Soma tree so we're just giving it away now? farking shiat I was two seconds away from taking those drug bottles and shoving them up their ass sideways.

Not only that, you have the nerve to glare at me when I say "You know, its pretty rude when you called all these in, we spent all this time filling these, and now you want them to be transferred to a Walmart. Its like ordering food at a place then sending it back once it gets put on the table saying 'I'm going to another restaurant because their steak is cheaper'." I realize that the concept of analogy is hard to understand with your two brain cells, but the point I'm trying to get through your thick skull is that its a pretty dickish mood to have me do all this work to undo it an hour later. I don't give a fark about your "limited income" excuse that you throw around to get what you want. Being on a limited income isn't a license to be a farking twat and waste the stores "limited income" and my time when I could be helping patients who actually have their shiat together.

fark. I feel better now. Really, no bullshiat, I really do feel better.

So to answer the question you all may be asking; yes, I did transfer the prescription. However I called Walmart and warned them about this dillhole's antics. The pharmacist said "Oh I absolutely hate it when they do that, i'll make them stand here before we even think about starting them." Problem solved. Although pharmacy as a whole is going down the shiatter, I'm glad that us, as Pharmacists, are willing to stand up and get even on behalf of each other, especially for uncalled for bullshiat like this.
 
2013-02-12 03:50:05 PM  

Broktun: My hero

There is a little known fact that when you, the patient, call in your prescription numbers we usually get started on filling them. Oh, by 'little known fact' I really mean common farking sense.

So when you, the patient, call in 10 rx numbers, you can probably safely assume that we are going to start filling them. We are going to fill them with staff that the store pays for to fill prescriptions. The store gets to pay for their employees with money gained from filling your prescriptions. Again, I realize this is farking rocket science to some people, but to the majority of the non-paste eaters out there this is as surprising as not-winning when you play the Lotto.

Therefore, when you the patient come in to pick up your 10 rx's (which if you didnt think they would be filled why the fark would you come in), and decide to tell ME (of all people) "Oh, well these are a bit expensive can you transfer them to Walmart" why in the fark would you would be shocked when I say "No". I mean its not like you paid THE EXACT SAME farkING COPAYS LAST MONTH. So this month copays shouldn't be any surprise you dim-witted sack of shiat. Did the medication-fairy magically make the drugs free? Did we have a bumper crop on the Soma tree so we're just giving it away now? farking shiat I was two seconds away from taking those drug bottles and shoving them up their ass sideways.

Not only that, you have the nerve to glare at me when I say "You know, its pretty rude when you called all these in, we spent all this time filling these, and now you want them to be transferred to a Walmart. Its like ordering food at a place then sending it back once it gets put on the table saying 'I'm going to another restaurant because their steak is cheaper'." I realize that the concept of analogy is hard to understand with your two brain cells, but the point I'm trying to get through your thick skull is that its a pretty dickish mood to have me do all this work to undo it an hour later. I d ...



Dude!  Next opportunity, take one of those Soma.
 
2013-02-12 03:52:20 PM  

WhippingBoy: keepitcherry: WhippingBoy: nickeyx: But you're right, it's totally ok for a grown, well-adjusted adult to throw a tantrum over not getting their way in a coffee shop. That's why the retail employees of the world look down on others. Being polite instead of acting like a boorish, self-important child is key. Treat the person on the other side of the counter like a human being, and receive the same in return. I don't care how important you think you, your job, or your illegally parked 3 series are, you're just another douche bag who doesn't know how to use a coffee pot.

Look, bean-monkey. Just serve me my coffee, mkay? In this world, there are winners and losers...

This is true, but things can change in the blink of an eye making a winner into a loser. Karma is a biatch - better hope you stay on that winning side cock sucker.

No. This is just what losers tell themselves so that they can sleep at night.

Take everything away from a winner, and he'll be back on top in a reasonable amount of time (that's what makes him a winner).

Give everything to a loser, and he'll eventually be back on bottom (for example, people who win $10M in a lottery and are broke within 2 years).


Too bad you're already Totally Farked.

/ I's got money, 'cause I's got a coffee pot at home.
 
2013-02-12 04:02:54 PM  
FTFA:

"And here they are, working for minimum wage plus tips, which for Watson totaled about $15 an hour for a job that for him started at 6 in the morning.  "

I get a kick out of this for two reasons:

1) I just came here from the waitress/tipping thread.  Minimum wage PLUS tips, just to take orders and make coffee?  I know some waiters who are ready to kick your entitled ass.

2) At $15/hour, he makes more than me (a teacher).

So... yeah.  Go die in a fire, you entitled punk.
 
2013-02-12 04:29:50 PM  
FTA: "Meet Matt Watson, 30..."

Stopped reading right there.
 
2013-02-12 04:54:03 PM  

JackieRabbit: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of t ...


Why would he not examine the receipt?  It is his job to read the receipt.  He has to know whether or not it is paid for and where to deliver it.  I used to deliver pizza and reading the receipt is the most important part of the job.  That little piece of paper is all that matters between the pizza place and your house.  I am sure you would be pissed if a driver forgets part of your order because he didn't read the receipt.  Either he was an idiot or he was trying to squeeze a little extra.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2013-02-12 07:09:26 PM  
another "I look down on people trying to eek out a living thread" and "I have a much better job thread".

lovely.
 
2013-02-12 07:31:21 PM  

JackieRabbit: Why would he examine your credit card receipt?


Well, the first thing off of the top of my head: To see if the customer already tipped.
 
2013-02-12 08:09:53 PM  

doubled99: I know this is a common joke but he soooo comes off as a Farker. No, that's not a compliment.


that's funny you write that, Farker.
 
2013-02-12 10:11:08 PM  

buttery_shame_cave: FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...


Yes, which is exactly what the author finds astounding.

There are a lot of coffee shops in the Seattle area. He is astounded at just how many.

See, it's really not that hard to ... Oh, forget it.
 
2013-02-12 10:21:35 PM  
Rapping, blogging, and entrepreneurship may not be his strong suit, but if a market opens up for "self-pitying guy who feels like he hasn't gotten his due from life," this dude is poised to cash in big.
 
2013-02-12 10:52:34 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.


Look, I don't like this guy either, but just because he got a degree in Philosophy doesn't mean he made a bad choice. Hell, I LOVE my degree in Speech Comm (public speaking) but I've always searched for jobs outside my field because I knew the job market didn't care what I majored in. I have learned that no matter how specific your degree is, you STILL can have a biatch of a time finding work. So, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. So this guy biatches about being a barista and he doesn't call out the workplace (which was smart) yet he was outed by someone else and fired. It sucks, but he will be fine.
 
2013-02-12 11:34:01 PM  
With any luck, he will suffer.
 
2013-02-12 11:35:58 PM  

FNG: another "I look down on people trying to eek out a living thread" and "I have a much better job thread".

lovely.


This country really is an odd mix between "the world needs ditchdiggers too!" and folks saying 'and also ditchdiggers should live a miserable existence where they barely get by, can't raise a family, and are virtual slave labor. plus they should be thankful for that!' isn't it?

I feel that, well, you can't have both. Either the world doesn't need these people and they are made up of the worthless scum who can't be bothered to work hard and apply themselves, OR the world does need them and they should be able to live a happy live doing the job a world needs.
 
2013-02-12 11:43:52 PM  

Smackledorfer: FNG: another "I look down on people trying to eek out a living thread" and "I have a much better job thread".

lovely.

This country really is an odd mix between "the world needs ditchdiggers too!" and folks saying 'and also ditchdiggers should live a miserable existence where they barely get by, can't raise a family, and are virtual slave labor. plus they should be thankful for that!' isn't it?

I feel that, well, you can't have both. Either the world doesn't need these people and they are made up of the worthless scum who can't be bothered to work hard and apply themselves, OR the world does need them and they should be able to live a happy live doing the job a world needs.


OR, the world doesn't need worthless scum who can't apply themselves?
 
2013-02-12 11:58:10 PM  

Yogimus: OR, the world doesn't need worthless scum who can't apply themselves?


So what is your solution, soylent green for the undeserving? Ship them into outer space on spaceship B?

I'm guessing you haven't thought your plan all the way through here.
 
2013-02-13 12:01:03 AM  

Smackledorfer: Yogimus: OR, the world doesn't need worthless scum who can't apply themselves?

So what is your solution, soylent green for the undeserving? Ship them into outer space on spaceship B?

I'm guessing you haven't thought your plan all the way through here.


You assume I had a plan.  I say let them be, and excise them if they become a hazard. Kind of like an appendix.
 
2013-02-13 01:47:33 AM  

brigid_fitch: Yet this guy's been doing the same thing for years and even has a book

Our Valued Customers

/I thought the Bitter Barista was just as snarky/funny as Our Valued Customers
//Guys who outed him are probably just upset they didn't think of it first.


Thank you, and screw you for that link. I've now been up an hour longer than I was planning on.
 
2013-02-13 03:09:29 AM  

lamecomedian: FTFA:

"And here they are, working for minimum wage plus tips, which for Watson totaled about $15 an hour for a job that for him started at 6 in the morning.  "

I get a kick out of this for two reasons:

1) I just came here from the waitress/tipping thread.  Minimum wage PLUS tips, just to take orders and make coffee?  I know some waiters who are ready to kick your entitled ass.

2) At $15/hour, he makes more than me (a teacher).

So... yeah.  Go die in a fire, you entitled punk.


Are teachers in the US really paid that poorly?
 
2013-02-13 04:24:52 AM  
I could fill up an internet ripping on this guy, but really I'm just thankful that I've been blessed with the upbringing, education, intelligence and good luck that I'm not him.
 
2013-02-13 05:53:27 AM  
Good luck with your next interview son.

The Googles don't forget....
 
2013-02-13 08:53:34 AM  
There are certain points in society's history that one can point to and say "That is where we when wrong". Letting fast food workers call themselves baristas was one of those points. There is zero difference between working at McDonalds and working at Starbucks
 
2013-02-13 11:25:29 AM  

CMYK and PMS: There are certain points in society's history that one can point to and say "That is where we when wrong". Letting fast food workers call themselves baristas was one of those points. There is zero difference between working at McDonalds and working at Starbucks


People in the service industry are below the rest of us. They deserve neither respect nor a living wage.
 
2013-02-13 12:40:26 PM  
So what?   A few thin-skinned coffee drinkers got their feelings hurt because someone inconveniently pointed out that the universe doesn't favor them?  Frankly, nobody has a right to live a life free of being offended.

That being said, I'd of fired him too, I just think the customers ought to get a clue.  I'm sure had they been paying attention to the world around them instead of checking FB while in line for their 12oz, double, half de-caf, sugar free French Vanilla latte with soy, right at 142 degrees with 2 straws, they have noticed what a pain the ass they and just about every other coffee drinker has become

/Loving me a venti, iced coffee with 2 raw sugars and creme, no classic syrup.
 
2013-02-13 02:30:14 PM  
Aren't guys called Barristers?  Was he using the female version to throw off anybody trying to identify him?
 
2013-02-13 05:00:20 PM  
Philosophy major trying to be a hip hop artist...

"Do you want fries with that?"

/Double Fail
 
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