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(Seattle Times)   The Bitter Barista won't have that crappy job or stupid boss to blog about any more   (seattletimes.com) divider line 132
    More: Dumbass, Bitter Barista  
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16141 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 11:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 09:28:21 AM  
"What a coincidence! You have a gluten allergy, and I don't care that you have a gluten allergy!"

To be fair, this ought to be on a T-shirt.
 
2013-02-12 09:39:54 AM  
In the words of a nice TV judge, Marilyn Milian. "Say it, forget it, write it, regret it.
 
2013-02-12 10:06:25 AM  
This is not surprising.
 
2013-02-12 10:10:27 AM  

Yet this guy's been doing the same thing for years and even has a book



Our Valued Customers

/I thought the Bitter Barista was just as snarky/funny as Our Valued Customers
//Guys who outed him are probably just upset they didn't think of it first.
 
2013-02-12 10:16:41 AM  
Well, it was no Waiter Rant, that's for sure.
 
2013-02-12 10:46:48 AM  
he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.
 
2013-02-12 10:49:50 AM  
He should buy a donkey and a big ole floppy 49ers hat and go "Spekulatin'" for some golden beats.
 
2013-02-12 11:08:22 AM  
From his blog:

"My ex boss thinks the website is going to stop because I don't work there anymore. Man, I didn't even work there when I worked there!"

(Although the exclamation point is the blogging equivalent of laughing at your own joke!)
 
2013-02-12 11:15:21 AM  
Action have consequences. No surprise there.
 
2013-02-12 11:17:28 AM  
Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.
 
2013-02-12 11:18:41 AM  
FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...
 
2013-02-12 11:19:14 AM  
Now his hip hop "career" is finally set to bloom!

/lol
//he should redirect all that anger back at himself
 
2013-02-12 11:21:35 AM  
Did he visit another coffee shop so people could see him blogging?
 
2013-02-12 11:22:59 AM  

brap: He should buy a donkey and a big ole floppy 49ers hat and go "Spekulatin'" for some golden beats.


Bravo!
 
2013-02-12 11:25:22 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Guy's a tool. If you can't stand the general public, then don't get a job serving the general public.
If you've made poor life choices (degree in philosophy), then don't biatch about having to be a barista as one of your few job choices in life.


Eh, I have a philosophy degree and I'm doing alright for myself. The degree in and of itself isn't necessarily a poor life choice.
 
2013-02-12 11:25:24 AM  
Good. He sounds like an insufferable little douche bag, and he wasn't satirizing shiat. That's plain old retail worker frustration venting.
 
2013-02-12 11:28:00 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Don't you just hate it when someone reinforces the stereotype
 
2013-02-12 11:29:36 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Right, dude.  You look down your nose at him now but just you wait until his hip-hop alter ego "Spekulation" explodes.  You're going to eat your words that day.
 
2013-02-12 11:30:09 AM  

SnarfVader: he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy

And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.


Does that mean he has to order the double hemlock latte with a pinch of cinnamon?
 
2013-02-12 11:30:50 AM  
Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?
 
2013-02-12 11:30:59 AM  

buttery_shame_cave: FTA: 'an astounding 1640 coffee shops...' (emphasis mine)

you know how i can tell the author hasn't lived in seattle that long?

/srsly one has but to look at the average 2 shops/city block and extrapolate...


Yes, this is two Starbucks across the street from each other on Street View.

(That Barnes and Noble serves Starbucks too.)
 
2013-02-12 11:31:02 AM  
What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB
 
2013-02-12 11:32:02 AM  
I know this is a common joke but he soooo comes off as a Farker. No, that's not a compliment.
 
2013-02-12 11:35:19 AM  
Philosophy.
Pours coffee.
Wants to rap.


Mommy and Daddy failed...and failed HARD.
 
2013-02-12 11:37:01 AM  
What a dickhead.
What's his Fark ID?
 
pla
2013-02-12 11:37:16 AM  
SnarfVader : And that's why he's a barista. Excuse me. Ex-barista.

Came here to say that. You beat me to it. Good work!

Free hint, Gen-Y/Z/whatever... All those idiot coming through the door talking about gluten and decaf; the complete bastard giving you your daily marching orders and taking all the highest-tipping shifts for himself; the suited idiots at corporate HQ to whom you wouldn't give a glass of warm piss if you found them dying in the desert...

Those asshats pay your wages. You can think whatever you want of them, but at the end of the day, if you haven't left them feeling like they just got a BJ from Chasey Lain - You gonna starve in the gutter biatch!
 
2013-02-12 11:39:40 AM  
I find it funny that he would punish people for asking and confirming decaf.  Really dude?  You are going to punish someone that wanted to verify that you do your job correctly.  They wouldn't need to verify if you didn't give everyone caffeinated coffee in the first place.
 
2013-02-12 11:41:01 AM  

lendog: I find it funny that he would punish people for asking and confirming decaf.  Really dude?  You are going to punish someone that wanted to verify that you do your job correctly.  They wouldn't need to verify if you didn't give everyone caffeinated coffee in the first place.


He's better than you. Who are you to question him?
 
2013-02-12 11:44:39 AM  
It is unlikely he really loved his job, so the employer probably did him a favor. Free publicity, too.
 
2013-02-12 11:45:49 AM  
FTA:  A New Jersey native, he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University in Pennsylvania and came to Seattle in 2005 because "I followed a girl."

Fits the stereotype perfectly for a barista...........
 
2013-02-12 11:46:57 AM  
The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."

Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night douchebag. Four years of partying and powderpuff classes makes him pretty much exactly as qualified as a barista needs to be.
 
2013-02-12 11:48:48 AM  

umad: The thing about baristas, he says, is "that person is probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."

Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night douchebag. Four years of partying and powderpuff classes makes him pretty much exactly as qualified as a barista needs to be.


I bet he's biatching about his student loans too.
 
2013-02-12 11:50:41 AM  
I fail to care in any way.
 
2013-02-12 11:52:25 AM  

Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB


Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of them have to pay for their own gas and auto maintenance. The tips are important to them. So your three bucks wasn't as generous as you thought. You could have simply and kindly responded with "Oh, I understand. I left a $3 tip on the credit card." Instead, you got all self important and copped a "I can be rude to a mere pizza delivery guy" attitude and treated him like shiat. This is never justifiable. Your next pizza may have the special spooge and spit toppings.
 
2013-02-12 11:52:29 AM  

Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB


Whereas I just always ask if the tip came through on the online sale to avoid any such issues with the delivery guy.

/plus sometimes the managers will steal it
//with some systems they're the only one who actually sees the slip with the money on it
 
2013-02-12 11:53:28 AM  
Is he trying to be funny? Cause he's not. His blog is farking awful. What's with the massive fonts?
 
2013-02-12 11:54:11 AM  
And he is not clever, "Every time someone orders an extra-hot-no-foam latte, an angel rapes a puppy.".
 
Ask
2013-02-12 11:57:11 AM  

WhippingBoy: Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?


Probably because we don't have a degree in philosophy.
 
2013-02-12 11:59:19 AM  
I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.
 
2013-02-12 11:59:53 AM  

Ask: WhippingBoy: Anyone slagging this guy is an idiot. This guy was a barista. With a degree in philosophy!!! He shouldn't have to deal with the infantile mewlings of a bunch of proles.
Why is it so hard for sheeple to recognize their betters and give them the respect that they so richly deserve?

Probably because we don't have a degree in philosophy.


Exactly. And don't you forget it.
 
2013-02-12 12:00:33 PM  

GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.


He's a tooloser.
 
2013-02-12 12:01:09 PM  
It's too bad he can't be fired from blogging too.
 
2013-02-12 12:04:31 PM  

WhippingBoy


GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


Tooloser Lautrec
 
2013-02-12 12:05:48 PM  

JackieRabbit: Carn: What an ass, no wonder he's 30 and is a barrista.  After reading some of his comments he deserves to lose his job.  Some people can't handle caffeine and need decaf or else they can react very badly (those on certain medicines).  And it's awesome that he works at a place that sells food and he doesn't care about people with food allergies.  Hilarious.

Reminds me of a little CSB:

About a year ago I ordered pizza before our poker game as is our standard and I paid online with my credit card because I was low on cash.  It was a small order but I left a decent tip.  The delivery guy brings the pizza a little later and hands it over then kinda stares at me.  I ask him "Do you need me to sign?" (order was less than 20 bucks).  He says "No, but it's customary to tip the delivery person".  Well, this pissed me off but I managed to remain somewhat calm as I pointed out to captain dipshiat that if he looked at the receipt he was holding in his hand he would see 10 bucks for a pizza, 2 bucks for delivery charge, and 3 bucks for a tips.  Maybe you ought to try a little reading before you insult your customers you jackass.  He apologized and ran.  I saw him one other time but then he either quit or got fired.  No wonder you're delivering pizzas.

/CSB

Why would he examine your credit card receipt? All he knows is that the pie is already paid for. It IS customary to tip the delivery guy in cash at the time of delivery. The cashier could have just put the total into the credit card transaction and pocketed the three bucks, without the driver's knowledge. So you acted like an asshole to him for no reason. Go try working with the public in retail or food services for a few weeks and you will come to appreciate this guys blog. He may be delivering pizza because he needs the money and it's the only job he can get right now. It may be one of many jobs he has to feed his children. And learn something about delivery people. They don't get paid minimum wage and many of t ...


I acted like an asshole to him because he acted like one first.  If he had found a less asinine way to inquire about whether he was getting a tip from me, he would have received a nicer response.  However, as I mentioned, the receipt that he held in his hand had it printed out line-item detail.  I've worked plenty of shiatty jobs, even been a delivery guy (flowers not pizzas), and the one thing you never do is piss off your customers.  At least it's actually customary to tip the pizza guy.  When I had my delivery job I was lucky to get one or two tips a week and some of those orders were much more expensive than anyone's pizza.  You know how many times I insulted a customer, intentionally or otherwise, because of it?  Zero.  And if I had and my bosses heard about it, they would have justifiably fired me because I would have been hurting their business.
 
2013-02-12 12:07:02 PM  

WhippingBoy: GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


What about just "Loool"?
 
2013-02-12 12:08:24 PM  
"A New Jersey native, he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University in Pennsylvania and came to Seattle in 2005 because "I followed a girl."
He's now married to a different woman, and they live in a Capitol Hill apartment.
The barista job, Watson says, was to help make ends meet while he pursued a career as a hip hop artist going by the name "Spekulation." That's what he means about baristas being artistic types."


So many poor life choices in this, I dont even know where to begin....
 
2013-02-12 12:08:52 PM  

WhippingBoy: GORDON: I read the entire article.

I can't decide if the guy is more of a tool, or more of a loser.

He's a tooloser.


or a Toser, known also as a Tosser.
 
2013-02-12 12:09:52 PM  
"he says he got a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Lehigh University"
"The barista job, Watson says, was to help make ends meet while he pursued a career as a hip hop artist going by the name "Spekulation." "

i118.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 12:11:26 PM  
My hip hop name is Modus Tollens, ModTone for short.
 
2013-02-12 12:16:16 PM  
Would it possible to have a Lehigh Trifecta?  That seems ludicrous on the face of it, but between this and the C- lawsuit a few threads down . . .
 
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