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(Mother Nature Network)   Today's First World dilemma: Are doggie treadmills a good investment?   (mnn.com) divider line 56
    More: Interesting, Obesity in the United States, TechMediaNetwork, investments  
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1893 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 2:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 01:20:35 PM
Let's ask Jackson Herring.

/Love those random pictures
 
2013-02-12 01:55:58 PM
Only for the laziest of owners.


/take your damn mutt outside and walk him fatass
//he'll enjoy it a lot more than the treadmill
 
2013-02-12 02:41:19 PM
JANE! Stop this crazy thing!
 
2013-02-12 02:41:30 PM
Clark Griswold found a cheaper solution years ago.
Run biatch,run.
 
2013-02-12 02:41:52 PM
In a month or two your dog will just be throwing his clothes on it.
 
2013-02-12 02:43:35 PM
How'bout you get a regular treadmill? The your dog and your fat-ass can both use it. You probably need it more than your dog you fat slob.
 
2013-02-12 02:44:38 PM
quicklol.com
 
2013-02-12 02:45:11 PM
No. Get the fark outside, you lazy sumbiatch.
 
2013-02-12 02:48:26 PM
Get out and walk your dog you fat lazy farks.

Tried to put the dog on a buddy's treadmill one time, for the lulz, she wasn't having any of it.
 
2013-02-12 02:49:02 PM
Are doggie treadmills a good investment?

I don't let my dog handle complex financial decisions.

/anymore
 
2013-02-12 02:51:25 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

Approves. Especially when biatches be getting all truculent.
 
2013-02-12 02:57:10 PM
Of course they are! They practically pay for themselves!
 
2013-02-12 02:58:32 PM

NutWrench: Are doggie treadmills a good investment?

I don't let my dog handle complex financial decisions.

/anymore


I was never a fan of investing in kitty snickers.
 
2013-02-12 02:58:56 PM
doggie treadmill

Is that a treadmill made out of dogs, or a treadmill made by dogs?
 
2013-02-12 02:59:39 PM
i309.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 03:00:58 PM
Your dog will get bored.  Make sure to also get doggie free weights and some jazzercize classes.
 
2013-02-12 03:01:22 PM

Jument: No. Get the fark outside, you lazy sumbiatch.


I know some folks who simply attach the leash to the front doorknob and let their dogs shiat right there next to the stoop.

/bet they don't get Jehovah's
 
2013-02-12 03:04:24 PM
I don't think it even qualifies as a good expense, let alone a good investment.
 
2013-02-12 03:04:56 PM
I'd put the dog on the treadmill, but I can't get up; there's a dog on my lap.
 
2013-02-12 03:05:04 PM
Meet George Jetson...

www.city-data.com
 
2013-02-12 03:07:09 PM
pin 20 bucks on the dogs collar open the gate/door smack em on the ass  and say "best of luck" as they run off in to the sunset.
 
2013-02-12 03:13:46 PM
i309.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 03:16:27 PM
If bad weather, a too-tight work schedule or other difficulties prevent you from walking your dog regularly, there is an easy solution,  to keep your pet healthy and happy get a fish.
 
2013-02-12 03:18:20 PM
theawesomer.com

/Yes, if you're a mall.
 
2013-02-12 03:26:18 PM
While trying to get my puppy-mill rescue Pomeranian to start acting like a normal dog, I found that the simply stroll down the block was the most therapeutic (at least when she stopped being scared of grass, leaves, and wind). I will never forget the joy in her eyes when she finally realized that the world was her toilet--after a month of walking.

There is not a chance in hell I would have gotten that effect with a stupid treadmill.
 
2013-02-12 03:28:08 PM
First thing that came to mind:

RJ: [showing the other animals around the houses] They *always* got food with them. We eat to live - these guys live to eat! Let me show you what Im talking about!RJ: [as he speaks he shows the other animals what humans do] The human mouth is called a piehole, the human being is called a couch potato.RJ: [signifies telephone] *That* is a device to summon food.RJ: [signifies doorbell] That is one of the many voices of food.RJ: [signifies front door] *That* is the portal for the passing of food.RJ: [signifies delivery truck] *That* is one of the many food transportation vehicles. Humans bring the food, take the food, ship the food, they drive food, they wear the food!RJ: [signifies microwave] *That* gets the food hot!RJ: [signifies refrigerator] *That* keeps the food cold!RJ: [signifies turtle pinata] *That*... Im not sure what that is.RJ: [kids break the turtle piñata and Verne yells] Well, what do you know? FOOD!RJ: [signifies table where family prays before dinner] *That* is the altar where they WORSHIP food!RJ: [signifies advert for Seltzer] Thats what they eat when theyve eaten TOO MUCH food!RJ: [signifies treadmill] *That* gets rid of the guilt so they can eat MORE FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOOOOD! So, you think they have enough?RJ: [everybody nods] Well, they dont. For humans, enough is *never* enough! And what do they do with the stuff they dont eat? They put it in gleaming silver cans, just for us!RJ: [opens the thrash cans and knocks them over] Dig in!
 
2013-02-12 03:28:57 PM
Darnit. Formatting fail.
 
2013-02-12 03:32:24 PM
i309.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 03:36:02 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-02-12 03:58:40 PM
My horrible little dog has chronic diarrhea.She squats and runs, laying down a thirty foot long stripe like a Jackson Pollock masterpiece.Indoors , outdoors,in my bed, in my car,where ever the mood strikes.(She's got cancer and can't really help it.)

Treadmill? Gross.
 
2013-02-12 04:01:30 PM
I lost 70 pounds a few years ago primarily using an elliptical trainer.  I gave the trainer away, because the crushing guilt from my two black lab puppies if I DARE put on white socks and exercise shorts and then OHMYGODHEISNOTTAKINGUSFORAWALK has made the elliptical trainer useless to me.  Those little heart breaking whining bastards are the best motivational trainers I've ever met.
 
2013-02-12 04:02:40 PM
If I put my dogs on one of these, they'd sit down and look plaintively at me while sliding slowly to the end of the treadmill before falling off. Then they'd get slowly up and slink off like they'd done something bad, crawl into bed and go to sleep.
 
2013-02-12 04:06:09 PM
I had a huge custom-made Plexiglas ball made for my dog so he can exercise safely anywhere.

Cleaning out the poop and urine is heinous....
 
2013-02-12 04:10:08 PM

gopher321: Only for the laziest of owners.


/take your damn mutt outside and walk him fatass
//he'll enjoy it a lot more than the treadmill


Not in -40 C they won't. My Dane and Shepard took about two sessions each to learn to use our human treadmill without a leash. We use the exercise bike beside them.

The "doggie" treadmills and training guides are just trying to capitalize on pet owners. We bought our treadmill used for $100 and it doubles for us as well. Much better made then the pet knock offs and didn't traumatize our large dogs.
 
2013-02-12 04:10:09 PM
The wife and I have had our dog for about a year and a half. If we bought one we *might* have used it 4 times since then. During the hurricane we weren't walking him for like 2 days of windy rain, and one or two other times when it's been bitterly cold or really icky outside for more than one day. The rest of the time we walk him a few miles, because that's good excercise for him and us.

I don't think using it so infrequently would justify the cost. I just play a little extra tug of war with him on those days.
 
2013-02-12 04:13:28 PM
How 'bout fencing in your backyard and installing a dog door? And as a bonus, you no longer have to take your dog out to pee!

If you have a large enough backyard and a squirrel or two, they'll take care of the exercise themselves, and you get to sit by the window in your kitchen and laugh at their complete inability to hunt.

\In about 10 years of trying, our family's dog has caught a rabbit.
\\Emphasis on the "a".
 
2013-02-12 04:23:31 PM

AugieDoggyDaddy: My horrible little dog has chronic diarrhea.She squats and runs, laying down a thirty foot long stripe like a Jackson Pollock masterpiece.Indoors , outdoors,in my bed, in my car,where ever the mood strikes.(She's got cancer and can't really help it.)

Treadmill? Gross.


That gives a whole new meaning to the term Hershey Highway.
 
2013-02-12 05:25:24 PM
Investment? Like you're going to sell it at a profit later on?  Um. No.
/If someone tells you to "consider it an investment" when you don't intend to sell it, run.
 
2013-02-12 05:50:25 PM
Solution: Send doggie treadmills to Africa so fat malnourished people can exercise?
 
2013-02-12 06:54:52 PM
I tried once or twice to see if my little pooch would run on a treadmill, not really as an exercise thing, but to see if it was something she'd enjoy/tolerate.  I've never seen the dog so terrified as when that the belt started moving, she jumped off to the side as soon as she could.  I've not tried again in the years since.  She'd rather just lay in my bed in a blanket fort for most of the day.
 
2013-02-12 07:38:00 PM
Great! now all the dogs will be buff. Next generation will be bigger. biatches will mate with the hulked-out studs, like the sluts they are. So, where am I going to put this huge farking treadmill in 50 years? shiat, that's like 350 in dog years.
 
2013-02-12 07:38:58 PM
Probably a lot better then the toddler treadmills I've tried.  Man those little things are useless.  Barely keep a light powered let alone a whole house, you need like fifty of them going at once.
 
2013-02-12 07:51:03 PM
If you get a dog, you need to be able to care for it.
You need to be able to pay for vet trips.
You need to to train it.
You need to care for it, including making sure it gets the exercise it needs.
If you can't, don't get a damn dog.
 
2013-02-12 08:26:45 PM

BumpInTheNight: Probably a lot better then the toddler treadmills I've tried.  Man those little things are useless.  Barely keep a light powered let alone a whole house, you need like fifty of them going at once.




The harness has to fit properly.
 
2013-02-12 09:18:12 PM
Well, we have doggie-bags already, why not doggie-treadmills?
 
2013-02-12 10:43:33 PM
Cats on treadmills are a lot more fun to watch.
 
2013-02-12 10:46:36 PM
Most dogs need to run/walk a lot longer than a human to keep properly fit. A 30 minute daily jaunt around the park is not going to do it (although they'll certainly enjoy it and enjoy your company).

 Most people can't spend hours and hours walking their dogs, it's not practical. But your dog would sure enjoy more than 30 minutes. So grab one (if your dog will use it) and let them use it when you're cooking dinner/helping with homework/fixing the plumbing.

 But still take them out for that 30 minute jaunt later. The environment enrichment is important too.
 
2013-02-12 11:59:28 PM

i upped my meds-up yours: Cats on treadmills are a lot more fun to watch.


Needs a better soundtrack.
 
2013-02-13 01:27:11 AM
 
2013-02-13 01:47:12 AM

Almea Tarrant: If you get a dog, you need to be able to care for it.
You need to be able to pay for vet trips.
You need to to train it.
You need to care for it, including making sure it gets the exercise it needs.
If you can't, don't get a damn dog.


I had two foot surgeries in the past four months. When I got a dog three years ago, I didn't know I was going to need foot surgery. But I guess I'm a lazy schmo who shouldn't have gotten a dog because I should have predicted I wouldn't be able to walk the dog myself for a few months.

I volunteer for a rescue group. We get injured dogs and some of them go to rehab and use a treadmill because we can set up a harness so the dog isn't walking on its full weight. The PT place also has an underwater treadmill. But I guess we should have just let those dogs be killed in the shelter because we use treadmills.

I guess your life always goes according to plan.
 
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