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(Warwick Daily News (Australia))   You may be with the wrong girl if you have to fap alone in the shower. Especially if she then kicks in the shower door, catches you, smashes the TV, and attacks your mom to keep her from calling the cops   (warwickdailynews.com.au ) divider line
    More: Scary, showers  
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11109 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 1:11 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-12 01:51:46 AM  
6 votes:
I think Kiradikash is a rare exception. Every time I am hanging out in a parking lot or stairwell and I see a woman, I have tried to demonstrate how I masturbate, but they usually scream and run the other way. Women are generally afraid of masturbating men.
2013-02-12 01:38:55 AM  
5 votes:
Hey @everybody I'm gonna go finger my asshole with a thimble while my cat watches, brb
2013-02-12 01:19:30 AM  
5 votes:
dvdmedia.ign.com

/highlight of the day
//all downhill from here
2013-02-12 02:08:36 AM  
4 votes:
cdn.pastemagazine.com
Doesn't anybody farking knock anymore?
2013-02-12 02:04:49 AM  
4 votes:

Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.


Masturbation is like pooping. Yeah, you feel great afterwards, but it doesn't look pretty.
2013-02-12 02:00:16 AM  
4 votes:
my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this
2013-02-12 01:51:14 AM  
4 votes:
I need an adult.
2013-02-12 08:32:20 AM  
3 votes:

LoneWolf343: Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.

Masturbation is like pooping. Yeah, you feel great afterwards, but it doesn't look pretty.


Go on.... Zzzzip
2013-02-12 07:38:31 AM  
3 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I bet the sex is amazing. Then again, 2 kids...


Nothing wrong with a 4-way.
2013-02-12 02:21:43 AM  
3 votes:

BroncoFan_17: Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.


i.imgur.com

True.

/Don't judge me!
2013-02-12 01:19:50 AM  
3 votes:
Kiradikash: Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me.

Hmm, could be one of the following.

1) He didn't want you stealing his techniques?

2) Because you already broke yours off

farm5.staticflickr.com
2013-02-12 07:11:41 AM  
2 votes:
Don't you know, sweetie pie, all you love juice now belongs to me. Now be a smoochy bear and get out of that shower before I cut your dick off.

ryanseacrest.com

Oh, and as punishment for cheating on me with yourself we aren't going to make love for a week.
2013-02-12 02:04:24 AM  
2 votes:

Spaced Lion: By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.


img.photobucket.com
2013-02-12 02:01:52 AM  
2 votes:

eggplanticus: my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this


cough.....      sooo sore...         go   on....    ziiiiiip
2013-02-12 01:57:27 AM  
2 votes:

Kiradikash: @Atomic Spunk

Darn it...how come I am never the one to find that? I would watch. ;-)


I'm Asian. You will probably need to bring your magnifying glass.
2013-02-12 01:46:32 AM  
2 votes:
How YOU doin'?

(Take your pick who you are.)
2013-02-12 01:43:22 AM  
2 votes:
This is what happens when you don't fark a stranger in the Alps.
2013-02-12 01:41:09 AM  
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hey @everybody I'm gonna go finger my asshole with a thimble while my cat watches, brb


go on....  zip
2013-02-12 01:28:00 AM  
2 votes:
WTF is with all the "@blah blah blah"???

Do people not see the "reply" button???

Is this a hip new way to reference prior comments? Nevermind, I probably wouldn't understand.
2013-02-13 10:18:10 PM  
1 vote:

dforkus: I just assume most guys are like this


That could be a mistake, you sound a little weird to me.

I just get a craving, as I do for a cigarette after a meal. (IF you don't know habitual addiction like that, don't know how else to relate it)

Certainly not the same as caffeine. I used to get withdrawl headaches from that, but that was it.

Hm, ever had a gambling or video gaming addiction?

Really, all I experience is heightened anticipation if it's been a while.  Like your mouth watering when you're hungry.
No pain, no shakes(well maybe if I'm on the cusp of getting my fix, but that's a nervous energy thing), no grumpiness, etc.

Maybe your system is heavily addicted to the endorphins(or whatever natural pleasure hormones that get you high are called), and you suffer more extensive withdrawls like some harder drug users do.
2013-02-12 10:34:04 PM  
1 vote:

Spaced Lion: By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.


PS- sorry I'm late :)
2013-02-12 03:23:24 PM  
1 vote:
Wanting it more than your guy does not by any means make one a nympho, just passionate about your man.  now my ex, yeah she kinda leaned that way.  She wanted it to a bit of an extreme, but we worked it out to where it didn't interfere with daily life. it also helped that we were living together at the time.  oddly enough once we broke up her appetite dwindled, but was still pretty ferocious compared to your 1-2x/ week guy.

honestly wish I'd married her, and not for the sex.  we're still friends, and get along pretty well, but I'm seriously jealous of her current guy.  He hasn't had a job since they've been together, and she's fine with that. All he has to do is cook and clean and she pays the bills.  They don't even have any kids.  THAT COULD BE ME!  Dude must have a tongue like Gene Simmons.
2013-02-12 02:46:21 PM  
1 vote:

WeAllShallFall: I've never had a problem doing that in front of a chick.
/shrug
//was fun
///also a turn on


Absolutely. And if she's laying next to me, touching me and giving encouragement... err.... brb
2013-02-12 01:30:16 PM  
1 vote:

IAMBOB: The top part of this thread was so full of win, the bottom was like when you're wanking it to some really hot porn and you accidentally click on a random link


Well...what would you prescribe to fix this issue? ;)
2013-02-12 01:25:37 PM  
1 vote:
The top part of this thread was so full of win, the bottom was like when you're wanking it to some really hot porn and you accidentally click on a random link
2013-02-12 11:00:07 AM  
1 vote:
Will you two stop having a pissing contest in a jerk-off thread already!
2013-02-12 10:46:57 AM  
1 vote:

omeganuepsilon: Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: As for shampoo hurting your pee hole. Grow a pair? I've never heard this complaint before.

Prolonged exposure to soap can wear out all of the natural oils in the skin that need to remain.  Dry and flaky penis is absolutely NO fun.  A pee-hole that's similarly dried out can be excruciating during urination(and even dormant if it's bad) until it heals.

Add to that the repeated tugging, working that soap even deeper into the skin, and you can end up with a cracked and bleeding penis.

Of course, if you're a 3 pump marvel, you probably don't need to worry and have never had issues with it.


Jesus I wish I could get off quickly. And I never said jerk off with soap, I said wash up after so you don't have cum covered knuckles. Which is basic hygiene, genius. As for shampoo, yea if you are stupid enough to jerk off with it I'm sure it can burn. However if you are such a Pansy that washing your hair hurts ur cock, go ahead and get the surgery to remove it.
2013-02-12 09:50:07 AM  
1 vote:

Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: As for shampoo hurting your pee hole. Grow a pair? I've never heard this complaint before.


Prolonged exposure to soap can wear out all of the natural oils in the skin that need to remain.  Dry and flaky penis is absolutely NO fun.  A pee-hole that's similarly dried out can be excruciating during urination(and even dormant if it's bad) until it heals.

Add to that the repeated tugging, working that soap even deeper into the skin, and you can end up with a cracked and bleeding penis.

Of course, if you're a 3 pump marvel, you probably don't need to worry and have never had issues with it.
2013-02-12 09:21:17 AM  
1 vote:
img.photobucket.com
2013-02-12 08:58:14 AM  
1 vote:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-02-12 02:17:09 AM  
1 vote:
Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.
2013-02-12 02:06:59 AM  
1 vote:

Kiradikash: *masturbating...not mastirbation.

/darn stupid keyboard on a stupid touch screen phone with NO pull out keyboard.


Pull out keyboard method is not a safe method, be safe or you may catch Autocorrect Syndrome.

/50 comments and no one else takes a stab at "pull out"?
//Typing this on a mobile with a physical keyboard that I pulled out.
2013-02-12 02:04:23 AM  
1 vote:

poot_rootbeer: I admit it, I use different fap techniques when my girl is watching me than when I'm on my own.  Big Fist Style feels great, but it's not very interesting to look at.

Also, never in the shower, because hot water + spunke + knuckle hair is a bad combination, as is shampoo + peehole.


dude, conditioner...less painful and you have the benefit of having silky smooth pubes
2013-02-12 01:55:13 AM  
1 vote:

pheelix: pheelix: #43

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x600]

dammit its late.  Wrong farking thread. Carry on.


And yet it strangely works... Also, this thread took a turn for the awesome.
-J-
2013-02-12 01:49:04 AM  
1 vote:

darkmayo: skinink: It's sort of comforting to know that whether it's Warwick in Austrailia or Warwick, RI that all Warwicks worldwide are trashy.

Dont get me started on Warwick Davis, that little slut.


go on.......zip
2013-02-12 01:47:09 AM  
1 vote:

Kiradikash: @darkmayo You got lucky. ;-) I should have left already...but I cannot decide which toy I want to use. :-P


Kiradikash: @WhyKnot Because I am on here using my mobile device...and it is not letting me use the reply or quote options. I wish it would...would make it a lot easier.


If your mobile is a phone or tablet with a vibrate mode, just download a vibrating massage app and give us the play by play.  No need to find a toy or reply to anybody.  Easy Peasy.
2013-02-12 01:44:54 AM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hey @everybody I'm gonna go finger my asshole with a thimble while my cat watches, brb


Wait wait.. is that a real thimble or a thimble from a monopoly game, and what breed of cat is it.
2013-02-12 01:44:49 AM  
1 vote:
This thread is making me really uncomfortable.
2013-02-12 01:35:46 AM  
1 vote:
@Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom

Don't get your panties in a bunch. I am just playing...and it's not like the nature of the article topic is all flowers and sunshine. If you're still butthurt, you could borrow my big bottle of lube. :-P
2013-02-12 01:29:25 AM  
1 vote:

Kiradikash: @darkmayo You got lucky. ;-) I should have left already...but I cannot decide which toy I want to use. :-P


haha well EIP lets see how lucky I really am
2013-02-12 01:23:19 AM  
1 vote:
That just heightens the excitement by adding an element of danger.  Is she single now?
2013-02-12 01:23:08 AM  
1 vote:
I'll bet the makeup sex lands them both in jail
 
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